Mila Cuda & Jessica Romoff - "Exes"

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  • Опубліковано 22 сер 2016
  • Join the movement of Get Lit Rising (Simon & Schuster, 2016), an anthology poems and narratives by 19 of Get Lit's youth, as well as Get Lit founder Diane Luby Lane. Overcome struggle and stereotype through expression and redemption. Get your copy today at getlit.org!
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 505

  • @audreyjosephine9165
    @audreyjosephine9165 5 років тому +3020

    “mistaking anxiety for butterflies” i really felt that

  • @rebsbody
    @rebsbody 7 років тому +633

    The guy on the left looks like he's realizing shit for the first time

    • @marleigh4878
      @marleigh4878 5 років тому +11

      I was watching a little bit worried

  • @annalopez2531
    @annalopez2531 7 років тому +608

    "I still fear it's the 2 am suicidal phone calls"
    Fuck.. this hit me hard

    • @Mohlly
      @Mohlly 6 років тому +3

      Anna Lopez countless times I’ve been through that

  • @ashleyn6883
    @ashleyn6883 7 років тому +3160

    That one guy in the back ground looking like he did this and is realizing his mistake and is having a mental breakdown with lots of migraine

  • @happytheexceed3579
    @happytheexceed3579 7 років тому +2256

    Transcript:
    "Good morning!"
    "How did you sleep?"
    "I couldn't stop thinking about you."
    "You're so sweet."
    "So what did you do last night?"
    "Homework."
    "Why couldn't you FaceTime?"
    "Hey!"
    "How's your day been?"
    "Better if it was with you. How was school?"
    "Good. I got partnered up with my friend Jake for a bio project."
    "Who's Jake?"
    "Good morning! I love you!"
    "I miss you!"
    "When can I see you?"
    "I'm still grounded. "
    "Can you sneak out?"
    "Hey!"
    "What are you doing right now? Can you come over?"
    "Sorry, I'm going over to Mila's."
    "Is anyone else gonna be there?"
    "Just some friends from school."
    "Like Jake?"
    "I don't know, maybe."
    "I bet you'll have more fun with him."
    "Hey."
    "Are you mad?"
    "Why haven't you gotten back to me?"
    "Hello???"
    "Are you with Jake???"
    "You have reached the voicemail box of..."
    "Where are you?? Why are you ignoring me??"
    "You have reached the voicemail box of..."
    "Why are you doing this to me??"
    "You have reached the voicemail box of..."
    "I STILL HAVE THE PILLS, YOU TOLD ME TO GET RID OF THEM, I'M GONNA DO IT. "
    "Hey, I'm so sorry, my phone died. I didn't bring my charger to school. Are you okay? PLEASE call me when you get this."
    "Hey!"
    "Did you get any of my messages? I'm so sorry."
    "If you're sorry, why don't you send me a picture that'll cheer me up?"
    "I'm at dinner with my family..."
    "You can run to the bathroom."
    "I don't know, maybe later?"
    "Not now? You owe it to me!"
    "I don't think I can do this..."
    "Are you breaking up with me? I can't live without you!"
    "I don't want this anymore..."
    "Sunshine, I need you, you're the only person I care about!!"
    "I don't wanna be with you..."
    "YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME."
    "It's too much..."
    "IF YOU BREAK UP WITH ME I'LL KILL MYSELF."
    "I'm so sorry! Are you there??"
    "You have reached the voicemail box of..."
    "Please don't do this..."
    "I love you."
    THERE ARE TEENAGE GIRLS EVERYWHERE BEING TAUGHT THAT THIS IS LOVE. LOVE IS NOT PUTTING YOUR PARTNER'S SATISFACTION BEFORE YOUR OWN SAFETY.
    LOVE IS NOT JEALOUSY DRESSED AS PROTECTION.
    LOVE IS NOT CONFUSING YOUR BODY FOR HIS MIDNIGHT SNACK.
    LOVE IS NOT BEING FORCED INTO ANYTHING! EVEN WHEN HE HAS YOU CONVINCED THAT YOU WANT THIS!
    I THOUGHT MY SPREAD LEGS COULD HEAL HIS BROKEN.
    I SACRIFICED MY COMFORT IN ATTEMPT TO COMFORT HIM.
    EVEN AFTER HE BEGGED ME TO GET HIM OFF IN A PARKING LOT.
    EVEN AFTER HE FORCED HIS HAND ON MY SKIRT IN A MOVIE THEATER.
    EVEN AFTER I SAID NO. WE ARE TAUGHT TO SWALLOW OUR PROTESTS IN EXCHANGE FOR HIS APOLOGY. WHEN I MISS HIM... I MISS ONLY THE WARMTH. I DO NOT THINK ABOUT THE BURN MARKS.
    THE MORNINGS THAT I COULD NOT KEEP MY BREAKFAST DOWN.
    MISTAKING ANXIETY FOR BUTTERFLIES.
    AND OUR FIRST TWO MONTHS TOGETHER, I LOST SIXTEEN POUNDS TO PALPITATIONS AND WEAK STOMACHS.
    WHENEVER MY PHONE RINGS AT NIGHT, I STILL THINK IT'S HIS 2AM SUICIDE CALLS.
    EVERY TIME MY PHONE VIBRATES, I STILL LOSE MY APPETITE.
    WHEN MY FRIENDS ASK ME WHY I STAYED SO LONG... WHY I ACCEPTED THE ROSES AND IGNORED THE THORNS.
    I TELL THEM, IT IS NOT EASY TO WEED OUT THE ROOTS HE PLANTED IN ME.
    I TELL THEM, I WAS SO CAPTIVATED BY THE HOUSE HE BUILT FOR ME.
    I DIDN'T NOTICE THE LOCKED DOOR. I DIDN'T NOTICE I WAS CAPTIVE TO THIS GARDEN OF GUILT.
    I TELL THEM, I TRIED LEAVING.
    BUT HE HELD THE GUN TO HIS HEAD. AND I FEARED MY ESCAPE WOULD'VE BEEN WHAT PULLED THE TRIGGER. WE ARE TIRED OF THIS GUILT. THIS GUILT THAT MUST MEAN GIRLS.
    WITH UNRECOGNIZABLE VICTIMS.
    WE FELL IN LOVE WITH A WARNING SIGN.
    IF HIS FISTS EVER MEET YOUR FACE.
    DO NOT CONFUSE IT FOR SPARKS FLYING.
    OR YOUR BODY WILL BLOOM IN BRUISES.
    THERE IS NOTHING ROMANTIC ABOUT A BOUQUET OF BLACK EYES! I AM TIRED OF HOLDING THORNS!
    BABY!
    DID YOU NEVER FEEL THE BLOOD BETWEEN OUR HELD HANDS. OR DID YOU JUST MISTAKE IT FOR TEARS OF YOUR OWN. BECAUSE OF YOU... The number you dialed has been changed, disconnected, or is no longer in service. Goodbye."

  • @shaniawashington7960
    @shaniawashington7960 6 років тому +528

    Omg when they say "my friends ask me why I stayed so long why I accepted the roses but ignored the thorns" hits me every single time

  • @oldsteezyyyt9315
    @oldsteezyyyt9315 7 років тому +535

    I love this. I actually hugged the girl with the short hair. She came to my school with a few other people. Legit every time i see this i cry 😂

  • @jordanl.2655
    @jordanl.2655 7 років тому +1481

    Why does cute guy to the left look so stressed

    • @ajh1249
      @ajh1249 7 років тому +100

      Jordan L. Maybe he's been a situation like this before. So memories maybe..

    • @mickey973
      @mickey973 6 років тому +32

      Jordan L. Probably because it's so real. I've seen him in a couple videos

    • @gidget5457
      @gidget5457 6 років тому +48

      Probably cuz he's trying to remember the poem he's about to perform

    • @lynnemar
      @lynnemar 5 років тому +4

      maybe he’s guilty

    • @alainahuesman6105
      @alainahuesman6105 5 років тому +11

      @@gidget5457 fr or maybe he has a headache 😂

  • @bridget_4165
    @bridget_4165 5 років тому +60

    two years out of an abusive relationship and i am still so grateful for this poem. it’s what made me realize i was in an abusive relationship. thank you mila and jessica 💖

  • @frankskeyboard2700
    @frankskeyboard2700 7 років тому +185

    There is nothing romantic about a bouquet of black eyes ❤️😭

  • @kalinamejiaa
    @kalinamejiaa 6 років тому +41

    " WHEN MY FRIENDS ASKED ME WHY I ACCEPTED THE ROSES AND IGNORES THE TORNS !!!! "

  • @jarezcook6978
    @jarezcook6978 4 роки тому +21

    “I accepted the roses and ignored the thorns” “I was captivated by the house he built for me” I felt these on a different level🥺

  • @LissyShortall
    @LissyShortall 7 років тому +280

    I see this pop up on twitter every now and again and it always gives me chills like nothing else can, absolutely beautiful

  • @auschlitttsbtb722
    @auschlitttsbtb722 4 роки тому +144

    I just got out of a toxic relationship, and this explains how I feel. I’ve been trying to figure out my feelings, and this helped me. I broke up with him but what the girls were saying, is exactly what he was saying. If I was sorry, I could send a picture to prove that I’m sorry. He would say “if you love me then prove it to me” I would ask what he wanted, I thought maybe just a quick kiss on the cheek and that’s that. But he wanted inappropriate pictures of me. And if I was with him, he would want to touch me inappropriately. I never sent him photos. When I broke up with him, he said that he was trembling and having palpitations. We broke up twice. He broke up with me the first time. He left me for a girl. I still loved him and i was so heart broken. That whole month I only slept about 18 hours. So when he asked for another chance...I thought that maybe it’s a second chance to redeem myself and out relationship. I couldn’t tell him anything anymore. He would get mad at me for the simplest of things. He would call me names. He would insult my brother or my friends he would threaten to ignore me for the rest of the day if I didn’t comply to what he wanted. But then it started getting worse towards the end because he would say “I’m going to kill myself”, “I’m going to hurt myself if you don’t....” I was so scared, there wasn’t a week where we wouldn’t argue. I felt so suffocated. I couldn’t tell him anything...and I thought that if the person that was supposed to love me no matter what...gets mad at me for telling him my problems or opinions etc...maybe other people that don’t love me will react that way as well. I kept everything to myself, I wouldn’t talk as much. But everyone always told me that he was a douchebag and that he would break my heart. I didn’t want to tell anyone my problem with my boyfriend (at the time) because I thought that they would react how he did. With anger, frustration, disappointment. The last straw for me was when I found out he was commenting under a girls pictures calling her beautiful and the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen. I was doing so much, why could he call me that? He would call me sexy, hot. The first time we dated he was actually calling me those things, beautiful, gorgeous, etc. But when we got back together, he changed. A friend told me that maybe he told the girl he liked that he liked her and she turned him down. And maybe he knew that I still had feelings for him, and maybe he just wanted someone to play around with since he couldn’t get the one he actually wanted. I confronted him about the posts, I had told him so many times that I didn’t have Instagram, that I disabled my account, and his excuses were “those are just compliments” “I didn’t know you didn’t have Instagram” “you know that I’m nice”. No I didn’t. I only knew what he wanted to do in bed. I cut him off. We were friends for a little bit after that, but then we started to argue more and more. I feel that was so because I wasn’t letting myself be treated how he wanted me to be treated. And he didn’t like that. I told him that I didn’t want to be friends anymore. And we agreed on that. But then a few days later he messaged me through Instagram saying “Actually can we stay friends?” I was so disgusted because how could he have the nerve to message me after I said everything that he had made me feel? Does he has no brain? Then I called him and did tell him (sorry for my language) “Fuck you and No never again!” And he said “you don’t have to be a b**** about it. I was just being nice” why couldn’t he be nice when we were together? Then he said something that stuck with me. “How I made you feel or how you made yourself feel?” He hates me now and I don’t know if I hate him. I still feel that it’s my fault, that I let this happen to me, I should’ve said no, I should’ve argued more. But then I got help by a guy and he said that I was indeed in a toxic relationship. That opened up my eyes to tell me that no it wasn’t my fault. He also said that he emotionally manipulated me and only saw me sexually. I was shocked. But now, I feel like I can breathe a bit more calmly. I’m still getting over this. I’m over him. I’m just not over the fact that I let this happen to me. I’ve got amazing friends and family that help me every day. I’m going to get rid of him in my brain, I’m going to leave him for good. I hope that maybe he knows that what he did was wrong, and that he doesn’t do it to another girl. But I’m not the only girl he’s done this to....I’m the second one he’s done this to, the first girl had it so bad. I won’t say how but I’m glad that she got out of it. I’m still hurting every day, but, I’m in no rush, I will carefully “weed out the roots”. Because my hands have bleed enough.

    • @meghanreed720
      @meghanreed720 4 роки тому +5

      Auschlittts 2005 I honestly felt this and it was hard reading this because it resembled my passing relationship w my ex so much. I don’t understand why people take advantage of others and not see that it’s wrong

    • @makalakay6223
      @makalakay6223 4 роки тому +4

      Thats how i felt with my ex for three years

    • @karymeramirez8753
      @karymeramirez8753 4 роки тому +1

      could you mind texting me on instagram i need help

    • @auschlitttsbtb722
      @auschlitttsbtb722 4 роки тому +1

      Karyme Ramirez sure!

    • @auschlitttsbtb722
      @auschlitttsbtb722 4 роки тому +1

      Karyme Ramirez comment your @ and I’ll dm you right away!

  • @alex._420
    @alex._420 2 роки тому +36

    It's such a beautiful poem and the fact which shows that it hits everyone is the fact that every one (expecialy the guys on the left) are really touch, that they seem to stop themself from crying it's such a powerful message which tiuch every one no matter if they had been in a toxic relationship or not

    • @taralynn2963
      @taralynn2963 Рік тому

      they look bored to me🤣 dude on the rights reactions are everything tho, his mouth dropped sm💀

  • @lianetchavez199
    @lianetchavez199 7 років тому +238

    The guy on the left looks completely traumatized LOL

    • @mileyw7914
      @mileyw7914 4 роки тому +5

      Lianet Chavez his gf died

    • @thegrayareainlife6474
      @thegrayareainlife6474 4 роки тому +2

      his ex gf killed her self

    • @zahrafatima8169
      @zahrafatima8169 4 роки тому

      @@thegrayareainlife6474 at least that is what we think 🤷🏻‍♀️

    • @urmomsbae284
      @urmomsbae284 4 роки тому +5

      Unicorn Wolf well it’s better to think that he’s having a hard time because of his girlfriend than assuming he’s hurt a girl and is having a hard time because of that.

    • @zahrafatima8169
      @zahrafatima8169 4 роки тому +1

      @@urmomsbae284 ya

  • @angelann1939
    @angelann1939 6 років тому +43

    It hurts me how many "my last relationship" comments I see.

  • @Ariel-gh6oi
    @Ariel-gh6oi 6 років тому +45

    The guy in the back reminds me of when I was in competitive speech and we used to hear everyone practice all their peices and everything soooo many times each week that we all looked just like that guy cause we were so tired of hearing it over and over and by the time competition came, we never wanted to hear it again 😂

  • @ayabagnininvi4691
    @ayabagnininvi4691 3 роки тому +4

    "I feared my escape would have pulled the trigger" that's deep

  • @autumnnelson1809
    @autumnnelson1809 7 років тому +372

    My last relationship .

  • @emmal2429
    @emmal2429 5 років тому +22

    1:26 gives me goosebumps everytime

  • @ginax8307
    @ginax8307 7 років тому +55

    the guy on the left is like when is this gonna be over 😂😂 but amazing spoken word!!

    • @LittleLibraryKoala98
      @LittleLibraryKoala98 6 років тому +4

      I think he was just upset or uncomfortabl because he could have been in that situation or know someone who has.

  • @bricummacia6378
    @bricummacia6378 7 років тому +149

    I watch this twice a day. This is such an important and powerful message. Bless these girls.

  • @rikuiijima6677
    @rikuiijima6677 3 роки тому +5

    I rewatched this over 50 times and I can't get over how good the alliteration is!
    "if his fists ever meets your face, do not mistake it for sparks flying or your
    Body will Bloom with Bruises; there is nothing romantic about a Bouquet of Black eyes" omg
    and the part where they talked about how they wanted to leave but was scared... this poem is so deep

  • @hannahdavis6238
    @hannahdavis6238 7 років тому +121

    no that's definitely one of their exes sitting on the left looking hella nervous

    • @mileyw7914
      @mileyw7914 4 роки тому +4

      Hannah Davis his ex died

    • @calistawilliams2888
      @calistawilliams2888 4 роки тому +3

      no the poem reminded him of his ex who killed her self in high school he got overly uncomfortable

    • @calistawilliams2888
      @calistawilliams2888 4 роки тому +1

      no the poem reminded him of his ex who killed her self in high school he got overly uncomfortable

    • @caito4993
      @caito4993 4 роки тому +2

      Calista Williams oh my, that’s horrible. how do you know?

  • @ibelieveinpeople
    @ibelieveinpeople 10 місяців тому

    the expression of the guy behind them is how i feel everytime i listen to this and i’m like “here we go high school”

  • @emmeepoop69
    @emmeepoop69 7 років тому +68

    it means something that this showed up in my recommendations

  • @anniemayfield4589
    @anniemayfield4589 7 років тому +795

    Is any pay going to talk about that guy in the back? He looks so uncomfortable!

    • @944shad7
      @944shad7 7 років тому +35

      Annie Mayfield he probably did the same thing in is last relationship

    • @madelynlacount1901
      @madelynlacount1901 7 років тому +38

      Annie Mayfield personally i think he was waiting for his performance idk

    • @lovebug5673
      @lovebug5673 7 років тому +38

      Annie Mayfield or maybe he was wowed by the girls poem he couldn't control his body language

    • @irisdarling3065
      @irisdarling3065 7 років тому +1

      Annie Mayfield and the guy that was next to him and laughing

    • @elizahamilton3125
      @elizahamilton3125 6 років тому +9

      Iris Darling the guy was laughing because someone's phone went off

  • @nikayla800
    @nikayla800 6 років тому +9

    "I still fear it's the 2am suicidal calls"

  • @chloedenniston8465
    @chloedenniston8465 10 місяців тому +1

    God it took me so long to realize that a past relationship was hella toxic. I heard so many things he used to say to me in this poem

  • @mclovin1773
    @mclovin1773 7 років тому +44

    charger to school. Are you okay?? PLEASE call me when you get this."
    "Hey!"
    "Did you get any of my messages? I'm so sorry."
    "If you're sorry, why don't you send me a picture that'll cheer me up?"
    "I'm at dinner with my family..."
    "You can run to the bathroom."
    "I don't know, maybe later?"
    "Not now? You owe it to me!"
    "I don't think I can do this..."
    "Are you breaking up with me? I can't live without you!"
    "I don't want this anymore..."
    "Sunshine, I need you, you're the only person I care about!!"
    "I don't wanna be with you..."
    "YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME."
    "It's too much..."
    "IF YOU BREAK UP WITH ME I'LL KILL MYSELF."
    "I'm so sorry! Are you there??"
    "You have reached the voicemail box of..."
    "Please don't do this..."
    "I love you."
    THERE ARE TEENAGE GIRLS EVERYWHERE BEING TAUGHT THAT THIS IS LOVE. LOVE IS NOT PUTTING YOUR PARTNER'S SATISFACTION BEFORE YOUR OWN SAFETY.
    LOVE IS NOT JEALOUSY DRESSED AS PROTECTION.
    LOVE IS NOT CONFUSING YOUR BODY FOR HIS MIDNIGHT SNACK.
    LOVE IS NOT BEING FORCED INTO ANYTHING! EVEN WHEN HE HAS YOU CONVINCED THAT YOU WANT THIS!
    I THOUGHT MY SPREAD LEGS COULD HEAL HIS BROKEN.
    I SACRIFICED MY COMFORT IN ATTEMPT TO COMFORT HIM.
    EVEN AFTER HE BEGGED ME TO GET HIM OFF IN A PARKING LOT.
    EVEN AFTER HE FORCED HIS HAND ON MY SKIRT IN A MOVIE THEATER.
    EVEN AFTER I SAID NO. WE ARE TAUGHT TO SWALLOW OUR PROTESTS IN EXCHANGE FOR HIS APOLOGY. WHEN I MISS HIM... I MISS ONLY THE WARMTH. I DO NOT THINK ABOUT THE BURN MARKS.
    THE MORNINGS THAT I COULD NOT KEEP MY BREAKFAST DOWN.
    MISTAKING ANXIETY FOR BUTTERFLIES.
    AND OUR FIRST TWO MONTHS TOGETHER, I LOST SIXTEEN POUNDS TO PALPITATIONS AND WEAK STOMACHS.
    WHENEVER MY PHONE RINGS AT NIGHT, I STILL THINK IT'S HIS 2AM SUICIDE CALLS.
    EVERY TIME MY PHONE VIBRATES, I STILL LOSE MY APPETITE.
    WHEN MY FRIENDS ASK ME WHY I STAYED SO LONG... WHY I ACCEPTED THE ROSES AND IGNORED THE THORNS.
    I TELL THEM, IT IS NOT EASY TO WEED OUT THE ROOTS HE PLANTED IN ME.
    I TELL THEM, I WAS SO CAPTIVATED BY THE HOUSE HE BUILT FOR ME.
    I DIDN'T NOTICE THE LOCKED DOOR. I DIDN'T NOTICE I WAS CAPTIVE TO THIS GARDEN OF GUILT.
    I TELL THEM, I TRIED LEAVING.
    BUT HE HELD THE GUN TO HIS HEAD. AND I FEARED MY ESCAPE WOULD'VE BEEN WHAT PULLED THE TRIGGER. WE ARE TIRED OF THIS GUILT. THIS GUILT THAT MUST MEAN GIRLS.
    WITH UNRECOGNIZABLE VICTIMS.
    WE FELL IN LOVE WITH A WARNING SIGN.
    IF HIS FISTS EVER MEET YOUR FACE.
    DO NOT CONFUSE IT FOR SPARKS FLYING.
    OR YOUR BODY WILL BLOOM IN BRUISES.
    THERE IS NOTHING ROMANTIC ABOUT A BOUQUET OF BLACK EYES! I AM TIRED OF HOLDING THORNS!
    BABY!
    DID YOU NEVER FEEL THE BLOOD BETWEEN OUR HELD HANDS. OR DID YOU JUST MISTAKE IT FOR TEARS OF YOUR OWN. BECAUSE OF YOU... The number you dialed has been changed, disconnected, or is no longer in service. Goodbye.

  • @infinitymocha
    @infinitymocha 7 років тому +42

    I'm honestly so glad that Get Lit players? (including these two girls) visited my school today. Its really inspiring to see how people express themselves through poetry and the backstory behind these poems.

    • @ellamor5656
      @ellamor5656 6 років тому

      Infinity Mocha u got to see them i have always wanted to see them in person

    • @infinitymocha
      @infinitymocha 4 роки тому

      ...Wow i stumbled upon this trying to do my get lit poem for my class... even after all this time its still highly inspiring. Definitely trying to gain some inspiration from this...

  • @Briellaxmichelle
    @Briellaxmichelle 7 років тому +28

    i have never went thru this personally but I have had friends who went thru this.. I always told them the guy but I never understood why they stayed. I feel sick to my stomach that I didn't understand, I wish I had known😭 they would come to me crying not understanding the entire situation I feel horrible. I cried I could've been such a better friend but I didn't know😭 I applaud these girls and wish to meet them even tho I didn't personally go thru this their powerful message impacted me so much. if you two girls are reading this I just want to say wow this is beautiful and the most incredible thing I have ever seen thank you

  • @elliewyatt4705
    @elliewyatt4705 4 роки тому +2

    When they were speaking about “there is nothing wrong with a bouquet of black eyes”
    Is when I lost it this is so beautiful and meaningful!

    • @hannahdanielle8330
      @hannahdanielle8330 4 роки тому +2

      its "nothing romantic" not nothing "wrong" that doesn't make sense. THERES NOTHING ROMANTIC ABOUT A BOUQUET OF BLACK EYES.

  • @anxiety_disaster
    @anxiety_disaster 4 роки тому +7

    I was in a broken relationship
    We used to be beautiful
    We used to be something special
    Then his life turned upside down
    And so did mine
    He came to me for help
    He told me about everything
    And I feared for his safety
    I stayed up until 5 in the morning to make sure he wouldn't do something horrible
    I tried to help comfort him through his pain
    I tried everything
    And I started to fall
    I started to do questionable things
    And my thoughts scared me
    I fell so far
    But I had to help him
    He was more important
    But then he cheated
    And he didn't even try to make it right
    After all those years of being each others worlds
    He abandoned me
    And I was left to rebuild myself

  • @ghostfromgotham2661
    @ghostfromgotham2661 2 роки тому +8

    a lot of slam poetry i've seen hits hard, but this one hits *home*
    i've never been the biggest fan of poetry as a whole, but this style captivates me in a way that no other poetry can, it's executed so well and makes you *feel*
    Warning for a long rant that i just need to get off my chest, but it's a long message, i'm sorry, this poem just made want to share my experience
    i was in a relationship years ago now that just makes this poem bring back
    my boyfriend at the time, i liked at first, it was fun for the first month or so, but i've never been a very touchy-feely person, and i've been hurt in relationships before, so i got anxiety over just hugs, and i never let him even kiss me
    not even when he tried to anyway, knowing i didn't want it, when i would pull away and he wouldn't say anything, but he would try again just minutes later and i would have to pull away and tell him to stop
    and i felt bad when i told him no, because it was expected that i tell him yes, or don't say anything and just let it happen, so i let him hug me and hold my hand and kiss my cheek, even tho i told him multiple times it made me uncomfortable and i didn't want it, at least not yet, maybe later in the relationship
    and maybe later in the relationship that would be true, i would be more comfortable, but how was i supposed to feel comfort when he wouldn't listen when i told him i wasn't?
    and everyone around me told me that i should do it anyway, he was the victim because i wouldn't kiss him or more, as if they never learned consent, because after all, "that's what you're supposed to do in a relationship, that's why he's sad"
    and i wanted to break up with him, but i was nervous about it because i'd never broken up with someone before, so i tried to take some time to see if it would get better or if i'd have the courage to tell him i was done, but one day he told me that he hurts himself and that it's better with me and that when we talk or hang out he doesn't want to cut anymore, he doesn't feel the urge to kill himself
    and i knew i didn't have it in me to break up with him after that, hearing that if i did, he might hurt himself, or worse, because i still cared about him, we were friends before we were partners, i wanted to be friends afterward if we broke up
    and i felt it was my responsibility to keep him alive, like if i said the wrong thing or didn't do something he wanted, it would be my fault if he hurt himself, i would have to get him to break up with me, have him fall out of love with me, make him think it was his idea the whole time, i wasn't worth it, he could find someone better, but i still had to be good enough that if i wasn't enough he wouldn't just end himself
    and i told no one, my friends just noticed after a while that i didn't want to be with him and helped me try to get him to break up with me
    at the end of the school year, one of my friends was talking to him about me, trying to put the idea in his head to break up with me but being subtle, and she told me that he might break up with me over the summer if the summer didn't go well
    so i tried everything i could over the summer to be a bad girlfriend while still being good enough so he didn't feel the urge to cut, i denied hanging out more often, i brought my friends when i would hang out with him, i stopped texting as much, and still had my friends trying to get him to break up with me, but in the end it didn't work, he didn't break up with me over the summer, and i was devastated
    every morning i would wake up to his text messages and feel exhausted, i stayed in bed longer than i should've, nearly felt the need to hurt myself, but i couldn't or others would notice and it would make it worse, any time i had to hang out with him or go on a date it would drain me of any happiness i'd had beforehand
    funny how i got depressed trying to take his depression away
    not all times were bad, he was my friend, we could talk before, but suddenly when we entered the relationship, i was the only one talking, i could spill my heart out for him but he could only respond with "dang" and when i asked him how he felt he was always just "fine" he couldn't communicate, i had to do all the communication on both sides, and i was still the one lying
    so i dated him for a year and a half before one night my friend was texting both him and me at the same time, telling me what he was saying, and he finally told her that he was going to break up with me in the morning, and i was ecstatic
    so the next morning when i sat on the bench in school next to him i had to hide my joy and play dumb as he sat in silence gathering the words to say, and in my mind i was begging him to get on with it, and when he finally did i had to push down the feeling of freedom i felt in exchange for acting sad
    and i didn't tell him for another 3 years after that the truth of how i felt during the relationship and what happened
    but only after another 5 times of him asking me out over the years and me having to turn him down every time, breaking a little more inside every time, i have to relive that experience in my mind
    after knowing what he did to our other friend, how he pushed them farther than he pushed me, almost forcing them all the way because they'd given more than i had but he still wanted the whole thing
    and we're still friends, we've all talked it out, he never meant to be toxic, he didn't know what he was doing and he regrets it, but now that he knows, i've told him that if he tries to get me back again that i will just block him out of my life, i can't take reliving that again
    and he hasn't, but i live in fear that every time i hang out with him he might try to come crawling back, he hasn't moved on after over 4 years, i can't be in a room alone with him, i have to hold back my anger every time he casually mentions in our group chat how lonely he is
    and i pray for anyone he ever ends up dating that they don't go through what i did, and what my friend did with him
    it may have been accidental, but it still hurts

  • @nadyanurhidayah6650
    @nadyanurhidayah6650 4 роки тому +2

    *love is not jealousy dressed as protection*
    *When i miss him, i miss only the warmth, i do not think about the burn marks*
    That hurt me the most.

  • @naomi-xm7jv
    @naomi-xm7jv Рік тому

    the one line that has always stood out to me is “when i miss him, i miss only the warmth- i do not think about the burn marks.”

  • @hannahskillings1333
    @hannahskillings1333 2 роки тому +1

    " I only miss the warmth I do not think about the burn marks ". 😳 chills. CHILLS.

  • @tiffanyhidalgo1887
    @tiffanyhidalgo1887 5 років тому +6

    literally every single line of this felt as if they watched me struggle the last year and made this about it... these girls, like i just want to hug them so tight

  • @sphea
    @sphea 4 роки тому +50

    the guy next to the one everyone's been talking about is laughing at their entire thing and i'm pissed

    • @sam3564
      @sam3564 4 роки тому +12

      he wasn't laughing he was shocked. some people laugh when they're that impressed. you can see it in his face at the end

    • @rosssss174
      @rosssss174 3 роки тому

      Omg I see what you meannn like what he giggling about

  • @kassbrookmusic
    @kassbrookmusic 7 років тому +713

    peep the cute guy on the left

    • @vnniefinch7959
      @vnniefinch7959 7 років тому

      Bro, It's Kass. That's what I though xxx

    • @leailic7242
      @leailic7242 7 років тому +2

      this is such a good poem and i love it but this guy is so cute its insane

    • @imanialexis3350
      @imanialexis3350 7 років тому

      Bro, It's Kass. IKR

    • @leailic7242
      @leailic7242 7 років тому +2

      dancefreak _101 it's actually insane is he a model

    • @alondrital_538
      @alondrital_538 7 років тому +2

      is kass the cute boy on the left he's so adorable

  • @thatonekidamerie7244
    @thatonekidamerie7244 4 роки тому +3

    For the people talking about the stressed guy, he was gonna go up next to say his poem. I forgot which comment it was, but someone replyed with the link to his video.

  • @sineadgreen1805
    @sineadgreen1805 4 роки тому +1

    There is nothing beautiful than a bouquet of black eyes, wow that is powerful.

  • @makaylagrant2478
    @makaylagrant2478 4 роки тому +2

    I relate to this.. I saw it while I was dating my ex and it didn't make sense. I watched it again after him and I realized that this is what i went through...

  • @jackjack6045
    @jackjack6045 4 роки тому +3

    This was something I wish I had heard three years ago.

  • @faithmedina3251
    @faithmedina3251 7 років тому +19

    I remember seeing this on summer break and it was my all time favorite

  • @bluepushyhawk8
    @bluepushyhawk8 4 роки тому +4

    I feel this! Ugh, it hit. I finally left the guy a year ago, and I am so happier now. I actually found someone who is close to me and can joke around with me and is fine with who I am.

  • @imyourhopeimyourangel6234
    @imyourhopeimyourangel6234 4 роки тому +1

    My fav english spoken poetry

  • @catherinealexander4811
    @catherinealexander4811 4 роки тому +1

    I just got out of a very toxic relationship with my boyfriend. He’d threaten to kill him self when I couldn’t give him my attention, got mad at me when I said school was my priority, he had blocked over 10 people on my phone because he was insecure and thought I was cheating, he pulled the same shit, when we finished fighting he’d ask for photos, it’s all too real... i still remember his late night suicide calls, he messaged me at 2am today... I’m tired of this guilt... men and women together, survivors stay strong.,.

  • @okxyxlizziexoxo2057
    @okxyxlizziexoxo2057 4 роки тому +5

    I’ve never been in a relationship, but besides like the “love” parts this can relate to my ex bsf. I tried to unfriend her so many times, she hurt me so damn much, I tried to go I tried to get out of our toxic friendship but she wouldn’t let me. We were in a friend group. Everyone except two were toxic. They made me wanna die. They made me feel worthless, they made me question my existence. When I finally snapped and got out of the friend group the most toxic one (let’s call her Callie) calle made my life a living fucking hell. She almost turned my friends against me, she portrayed herself as this nice, funny, kind person everyone wanted to be friends with, and eventually, I did too. I tried but she said no in possibly the most emotionally painful way. I went to the school guidance councillor many times but it didn’t help, they said SHE wasn’t ready. Callie, the fucking pain in my ass, the terror of my pathetic life, the one thing keeping me from being happy, wasn’t ready to talk to ME. I cried and cried and cried. One time she walked in the bathroom, aware I was crying in there, and said “wow someone’s been crying in here, how pathetic” and walked out. It’s gotten to the point where my friends(who are also friends with her) said how nice she is, they have to apologize to me. That’s how bad it is. So these words in this is exactly how I feel. Mistaken my anxiety for butterflies, captivated by the house she built me, I ignored the locked doors.

  • @n.c.435
    @n.c.435 5 років тому +13

    "mistaking anxiety for butterflies" yep. yeah. thats why it took me so long to break up w/ my ex

  • @musiclovengirl
    @musiclovengirl 3 роки тому +1

    I got out of a toxic relationship 6 months ago and this poem is describes exactly how I felt in that relationship. This poem holds so much pain and truth

  • @KrtnyP
    @KrtnyP 7 років тому +14

    the most inspirational thing I've seen all day

  • @adventurevidswithbellaphoenix
    @adventurevidswithbellaphoenix 3 роки тому +3

    Everybody in the background looks a bit stressed lol. Good job girls! 💜✊

  • @HannahMonslamma
    @HannahMonslamma 6 років тому +6

    Holy shit this has me crying. This is so well written it is insane.

  • @valval8956
    @valval8956 2 роки тому +1

    This reminds me of a poetry slam I attended on acid after being with my bf. He gave me these feelings and I started crying the whole time. I love this ❣

  • @nicolemurphy5383
    @nicolemurphy5383 5 років тому

    I get chills every time

  • @Kiyo_mimii
    @Kiyo_mimii 4 роки тому

    I heard this several times and this reminds me of HIM. He forced me to do everything he wanted through manipulation and guilt. He told me he was depressed. He told me he wasnt worth it. He did so much just to get what he wanted out of me. Im glad I left him. I always tell myself when I think of him that I have to stop it. He is horrible and still is doing horrible things to other girls. i still remember what he asked. Every single call. every single text. its all so clear. the dares, the requests, the fake apologies, everything! I was blinded by love. I was blinded by a daydream I saw. The sweet comments were lies, the cute texts were plays and all of what he did were just to puppet me along. I still feel sick everytime I see my chest because of what he did to me!!

  • @JessieAsJessica
    @JessieAsJessica 7 років тому

    Absolute chills every time.

  • @wcharmw9248
    @wcharmw9248 4 роки тому +1

    still love this and always will

  • @paigecarboni7949
    @paigecarboni7949 4 роки тому

    Can these people please. Please visit my high school. I know Elmira may not be a big place. But we need people here to hear this. I've been labeled as a cry baby because of what I and other girls have been through. So please. Please help people understand.

  • @kennapohlmann9152
    @kennapohlmann9152 6 років тому

    I could watch this over and over

  • @user-zb9zq9kx9w
    @user-zb9zq9kx9w 7 років тому +12

    Actually cry every time i watch this :|

  • @lilo9449
    @lilo9449 7 років тому

    I got so many chills watching this

  • @innocentsavior
    @innocentsavior 7 років тому +1

    Can't stop crying..this....THIS.

  • @vistarai
    @vistarai 6 років тому +9

    and this is the reason i am up at 3:30am bawling my eyes out.. these are all things i’ve experienced.. this is what i thought was love.

    • @arianakazadi6789
      @arianakazadi6789 5 років тому

      Same

    • @kiayah
      @kiayah 2 роки тому +1

      sending you love. I hope time has healed your scars even a little bit❤️

    • @vistarai
      @vistarai 2 роки тому

      @@kiayah after years of coming to terms with what happened, i can finally say i've healed. thank you for the love, even years later

  • @salemsbitches9535
    @salemsbitches9535 2 роки тому

    I’ve watched this so many times and every time I see them hug at the end it makes me cry.

  • @mikk4446
    @mikk4446 5 років тому

    why did I get literal chills when they turned around

  • @kiayah
    @kiayah 2 роки тому

    thank you so much. I have never felt more seen. thank you.

  • @brischneider1400
    @brischneider1400 4 роки тому

    This is still one of my absolute poems and every time I hear it, it hits close to home

  • @jesskaz7
    @jesskaz7 4 роки тому

    So powerful. I felt that. I lived that

  • @byebrother
    @byebrother 5 років тому +1

    there’s never been a time i didn’t get chills from thsi

  • @apurvamali2735
    @apurvamali2735 4 роки тому

    This is so beautiful and touching. So powerful. Needed this.

  • @eleanor5417
    @eleanor5417 6 років тому

    this sent chills down my back

  • @erianna7834
    @erianna7834 7 років тому

    Every time I listen to this poem it gives me chills

  • @LovleyJadesASMR
    @LovleyJadesASMR 4 роки тому

    I had my ear buds in. Love the poem. chills, people literal chills

  • @PromiseM
    @PromiseM 7 років тому

    i love i love i love...i will be watching this everyday for as long as possible....wow

  • @bellaaaa7069
    @bellaaaa7069 6 років тому

    I have listened to this so many times. Just finding something new every single time. God damn it

  • @rebeccatorres1196
    @rebeccatorres1196 4 роки тому

    ive been looking for this video for the absolute LONGEST. God im glad i found it. its sooooo good love it

  • @glasswolvesrunwild6524
    @glasswolvesrunwild6524 7 років тому +4

    I cried listening to this

  • @alyssabombarda4129
    @alyssabombarda4129 7 років тому

    Chills everytime

  • @anweshahazra9171
    @anweshahazra9171 2 роки тому

    So so precise and painstaking thank you for this

  • @annabuckland6413
    @annabuckland6413 3 роки тому

    Goosebumps

  • @jennatownsend9671
    @jennatownsend9671 6 років тому

    Too many people relate to this. Love you all❤

  • @biancamuldrow3533
    @biancamuldrow3533 6 років тому +1

    I did not think that I'd cry. This pulled out tears that have been hidden for a while

  • @bugger_t3223
    @bugger_t3223 4 роки тому +1

    “I accepted the roses and ignored the thorns”🥺

  • @elledanika333
    @elledanika333 2 роки тому

    it’s powerful throughout the entirety of this video. it’s so strong !

  • @sjaan7370
    @sjaan7370 2 роки тому

    Just wow. People need to really get this 💜 Thank you

  • @djheannam7764
    @djheannam7764 3 роки тому

    Amazing job lead me to tears

  • @katherinewaltz1203
    @katherinewaltz1203 5 років тому +1

    This resonates with me on another level. For those of you who don't understand this kind of emotional abuse, i hope you never do.

  • @randasalsbury
    @randasalsbury 5 років тому

    Any time I listen to this I get chills. Brings back haunting memories. But I still love this poem

  • @nataliegrace836
    @nataliegrace836 4 роки тому

    Holy Moly.. Why do i relate to all of it. 😪💔

  • @zuleimysilva2053
    @zuleimysilva2053 6 років тому

    This got my in chills 😢👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

  • @caitlinletitia6751
    @caitlinletitia6751 3 роки тому

    I might send this to everyone I have ever met! the most well written piece I have ever seen gives me chills every time!

  • @jasminesamuel696
    @jasminesamuel696 5 років тому

    This gave me literal chills😭❤️

  • @valeriachavdarova7430
    @valeriachavdarova7430 4 роки тому

    This is really powerful❤️I have no words💞

  • @dylangarciapoetry
    @dylangarciapoetry 5 років тому

    This poem is so amazingly powerful and I just came across it for the first time. I am so proud of these poets for performing such an important power. Wow. Just wow.

  • @liberty-jadepierre4877
    @liberty-jadepierre4877 6 років тому

    😟 wow... these girls are truly amazing💔❤️

  • @celesteshady8604
    @celesteshady8604 3 роки тому

    I needed this today