Hi my name's Sarah Bergstrom, the one in the video, and watching this for the first time after working with Mark and making this and then now seeing it in it's completion just brings a flood of emotions back. Thank you mark for letting me tell my story and be a part of something greater than ourselves, which is to spread awareness and give knowledge to those who may not understand or realize the reality of the huge opiode epidemic our country Is In. And thank you to everyone who commented ..Im reading every single one and WOW! I never thought anyone would care about what I had to say or "my story" but your kind words touched my heart and moved me to tears. Thank you for lifting me up and reminding me that there's still hope. You are all amazing and so so kind! Your comments have made Me smile and moved me to tears.just wow. Xoxoxo
The only person who can change you is you. I too was in a very dark place. I lived under the acknowledgement of a very traumatic childhood. I realised my consciousness was struggling with anger, resentment and pain. I decided to forgive my past to be able to move on. You must love yourself and realise we are all products of a very fractured, fake society. Strength of mind is everything, I found my peace a 45yrs. Spent all years prior not living but existing. You will make it, sending you love and prayers from the UK.
We’re all here rooting for you! You’ve got so much to offer and you can overcome anything, you have what it takes. Whatever you do please always believe in yourself and keep trying until you succeed. Much love to you.
Never use too much Drug use it as a reward, for a productive day, and ate two hours before bed. Followed by a meal and health drink with OneADay vitamins and algae 900 DHA!
This should be shown to kids at school Her story and the harsh reality of drug dependency as a result of peer pressure is a eye opener Hope she gets the support she needs.
and you cant trust anyone, on any level. her story of the dead body left in the tent for 4 days and no one called the cops and just stole everything from him is harrowing.
Sarah you’re not alone. I went through what you’re going through in my 40s. I got clean and never look back. The very positive thing you have going for you is you realize there is a better way. Some people can’t even do that. I see better days for you.❤️
Too many bad excuses for self-destructive behavior. I've watched many of these videos and her reasons for going down the rabbit hole are very weak. Congrats on saving your own life tho, Tony.
Sarah I did the same thing at 13 as you did at 15. Peer pressure, caring too much about what people thought of me, trying to grow up too fast, daddy issues, polydrug abuse, street life, I was lucky it was 1969 so it wasn’t fetty. It took me years but I got out. You got unlucky because the substances are different now. I’m so sorry, my heart breaks for you and I totally understand the exhaustion. I came so close to taking myself out and I was so so so tired. I also felt like an alien. And I felt so alone. It is NOT too late to get your humanity and your light back. It will only get harder every day you wait. Please please please reach out for help to detox and recovery. You are not too far gone-it doesn’t matter if you have a record and you haven’t worked in ten years. It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve relapsed after recovery. It didn’t matter what you’ve done to support your habit. None of that matters. Forgive yourself. Pick yourself up again. This is only going to get harder every day you wait. You have so much to offer the world. Pick your feet up and go now. To hell with what other people say right now- they have nothing to lose and you have everything to lose. Don’t be afraid of the hospital-they can help you. Once you take the first earnest step, people will rally to help you because they see you are serious about getting better. Play this out - in another ten years, it will be damn near impossible to ever climb out if you are even alive. And you won’t care. Just look around you. Love and prayers your way, you can do it.
Mark, this was one of your best yet. If I could give Sarah one bit of advise, from my own lived experience...Do not dwell on the past, when initially seeking sobriety, don't mourn your losses, those thoughts will hold you back. She's correct, when you first get clean, everything hits you in Technicolor. Do things that make you feel good, take those little good thoughts and run with them, with the goal of creating time & space from that misery. Help an elderly person cross the road, pick up litter on the street, volunteer at an Animal Shelter, fill that void with good thoughts, there's plenty of time to deal with the other crap later. I've got 27 years clean from a devistating opiate addiction, that brought me to the same place as Sarah, and I did it by doing things that made me feel good.
Beautiful comment man But if I can add not only when seeking sobriety but letting go of past mistakes traumas etc is important for many stages and situations/occurrences in life! There’s time to deal with long term non physical “pain” but if you let it consume you you’ll never start the process of healing in the first place Wise words brudda I appreciate you
She could absolutely benefit from a recovery program with intensive therapy. She has so much humanity & depth of emotion left in her, she needs to realize she DESERVES A GOOD LIFE. She's so deep in regret & shame she can't see the way out. 💖 Please try & help her.
You hear alot of addicts or ex addicts say they would like to be a counselor or to help others. But this young woman would be an incredible counselor, in my opinion. She has an understanding and a way of articulating the addiction and the issues it brings on like I haven't heard before. I hope she sees her potential someday.
Imo opinion the people that are successful in recovery have 2 things in common. A pretty set routine and they work tirelessly usually helping others. If you can make that your job than that can be super useful for yourself and those you reach out to.
They’re also notorious liars. Every addict has said this script before. Myself included. It’s all bullshit until you see them act on any of the BS they spew out. She won’t do a single thing she says she wants to do in this video. She could!!!….but she won’t.
Found this interview very emotive and heart rendering . It's clear Sarah is highly sensitive. Even in the depths of her addiction she feels huge regret for the potential her children could have had with her. I just hope someday she sees her true worth and value. Her children will too in due course. Always remember Sarah whatever your father said to you was probably said to him. Our parents aren't solely to blame our grandparents are too and all the generations before. You integrity shines through throughout this interview.. Thinking of you all the way from Ireland.
I just lost my brother to fentanyl. He was living in LA trying to get sober. It’s so insane to me how out of hand this is getting. I hope she finds peace and sobriety.
I am so sorry for your loss. Grief counseling does help! If you seek out someone to help, please do it. In my experience, grief happens in a cycle that can help you heal/ live on
@@KAINZO88 I’m a Christian. I got on my knees and begged God to reveal Himself to me, to take away my anger, resentment and pain. I promised Him I would seek Him more than I sought the things of the world. That meant praying daily, studying the Bible, seeking forgiveness when I had done wrong. People can speculate and say as they please. I know God is real and I’m far from a “nut” or easy to convince. I doubted God for over two decades and it was miserable. When I tell you I was close to ending my life on multiple occasions I don’t say it lightly. I OD’d 3 times in 2020 and my last time on Thanksgiving Day after being revived again I was at my lowest mentally, physically and emotionally. It’s still hard to believe I was that hateful towards the fact of my own existence but I’m VERY grateful God saw me through and I’m able to share this people today. Sorry for all the typing!
Sarah you are incredible. Your emotional intelligence and empathy is your power. Never lose it. Your dad was wrong. You are so worthy and intelligent and valuable. You are so strong. Brilliant interview. I am sending you reiki, strength and love to help kick your nasty habit and be the mom that you want to be ❤ much love from Australia
@@hannahmitchell87 --- I think that for millions of little girls that message is communicated without ever saying a word. More often by mothers than fathers.
I too was addicted to fentanyl and heroin and got my kids taken away for a year and a half. But I have them back now and life is good in recovery. You can do this Sarah I believe in you. I see so much strength in you.
I’m about to be two years clean in may from fentanyl addiction that I had for three years. It was one of the hardest battles to deal with and it’s day by day. Thank you for your interview.
Good for you buddy! 💪🏽 I quit drinking four years ago and it was best decision ever. I still have some work to do. Keep up the good fight! Better days ahead! 🙏🏽
"You gotta make sure you marry rich. Because all you have is your looks. You're not smart". The way that enraged me, when she said her dad told her that, I cannot even express in words. I cannot fathom, as a mother myself, EVER saying those words to my child. I tell my son every single day how much I love him and how proud I am of him. You don't have to be rich or perfect to be a good parent. You just have to be there for your kids, every single day. Support them, love them, protect them. Sarah, I am so sorry your dad and the other adults in your life failed you. You ARE smart and you deserve a good, happy life. I pray that you are able to overcome the addiction and get your kiddos back. I pray that you are able to begin your healing path and start on the road to a happy, fulfilling life
My heart goes out to this woman. She is so sweet and SOOOOOO smart! I feel like she has a bright future ahead of her……she just doesn’t realize it yet. She knows what got her to this point and I think she knows what it’s going to take to get out. I see the strength in her to pull herself up. SARAH YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!❤️❤️
She may have had learning disabilities in school, which people still confuse for stupidity. Her father may have been referring to that. My brother had massive dyslexia and problem solving issues in elementary school which led to self-hatred, acting out, alienation from family. Around 17, after trying every drug known to man, he decided to‐ just try. He now owns a small computer company.
Most alcoholics and addicts are very brilliant people, that's why we find every walk of life is susceptible to this disease. Addiction doesn't discriminate, right 😉
This episode really hit me. Had me crying a few times because of know those feelings she’s having. I’m now 29 with 2 kids but I’ve been sober 4.5 years. Everyone’s rock bottom is different, you’ll know and finally say goodbye to this life. Don’t give up Sarah you seem like such a beautiful person inside and out & like me was introduced to drugs at such a young age by a boyfriend when you really don’t think it’s gonna control your whole life years and years down the road. You got this Sarah don’t give up!
Sarah what your father said to you about not being smart wasn’t true. But you hearing those words made it true in your head. His words became your thoughts. You opened up to us so much here and so many of us are reaching out to whatever higher power we trust in hopes of giving you hope. Get clean and, more importantly, connect with a support system that helps you tackle all the challenges of being clean. I know you love your sons but do it for you first. You deserve a good life and to share that good life with so many others.
Seems that many people on these broadcasts lay blame on the parent or others. Sarah is a good person at heart; however not completely 'straight up'. When asked what she does for money...she avoided the question. She sells herself...if she got a normal job, she would find out that being responsible and going to work would solve most of her problems. Women especially wish to pass on their shortcomings and psychological problems onto the men in their lives.
every rock bottom has a trap door. you can always go lower. even when you think you're at the bottom. but you're 29. you can turn this around. i did it at 27 and have 13 years clean. methadone saved my life. gave me the ability to focus on myself without always craving the drug. now i have a family, a career, house, and happiness. good luck to you!
Best thing I ever heard was that you reach your bottom when you throw the shovel away. For anyone struggling with addition, it never has to get worse than it is right now.
Can't stress enough how important it is for your interviewees to have a straight person just listen in that safe space you give them. That small, seemingly insignificant gesture can be the thread that helps pull someone like Sarah out. 💜
I relate to losing your mom as a child, I lost my mom to a drug overdose when I was 13. Its very challenging living without your mom, especially from the time of childhood.. I'm struggling with addiction also, in the process of tapering off of subutex. Getting away from an addiction, going through the dreaded withdrawals, is one of the scariest things I've ever been through. You CAN turn your life around, I believe in you and I know many others believe in you too! I wish you all the best ❤️
@@ryanistooconceited it's not easy to say no because it often starts with a tiny amount of opioid in prescription medications given for genuine pain relief. The meds give a soft cushion to a harsh life creating a need for more which in time turns into a habit.
I’ve been watching this channel for about 6 months now and have been wondering how long it would be until I saw someone on here that I know… and that turned out to be until I was today years old… Sarah - you and I met in rehab many moons ago. Pathetically, I can’t recall which one though because like you, I’ve been to about 6 rehabs in the last 12 years. Your interview here was f’ing raw! And I mean that in the best way possible. It genuinely hurts to see you going through so much. I absolutely adored you when we were in treatment. Your smile and laugh and your overall demeanor just tickled me fkin pink. Even just thinking about back then makes me feel a little warm and fuzzy inside. I know all too well how addiction makes us forget who we actually are, and that you most likely feel that the Sarah I knew back then is dead, but I will vehemently disagree with that. Even in this mess of a storm you have to survive in everyday, I still see the real, authentic you beneath all this pain. Anywho…. comment back here if you could use someone to talk to without fear of judgement, or even just reminisce about a time before fetty sucked the souls out of pretty much every opiate addict. I’ll happily split off the list of treatment centers I’ve been to and the general timeframes I was there so you know I’m not just some rando creep in YT comments or something hah. But no pressure by any means. Either way, I just hope you read through these comments at all because if so many people are able to see the light that’s still inside you, then it’s most definitely still there!
Opioid addicts always make me the saddest. It’s a very long and lonely road to conquer. The effects of long term opioid use are absolutely horrendous. I was on pills from 2009-2012 and I finally got clean in 2012 and have been 100% sober since then. It was the hardest fucking thing I’ve ever faced. I wish I could help this girl. I wish I could help all addicts. In the past decade I have been sober fentanyl has been the biggest problem in the drug scene, and I thank God that I never used it or was even around it. I was on Roxy’s for 3 years and even though I never used heroin, I was still a drained out junkie who didn’t care whether I lived or died just as long as I was not going through withdrawals. I finally got on suboxone for like 3 months and then I realized that I had pretty much just traded Roxy’s for suboxone and made the choice to stop the suboxone and get 100% clean. I was so fucking sick for about 15-20 days, and I still felt crappy for another couple months after that. But finally one day I woke up and felt a source of energy that made me just want to get out and go jogging (idk why), so I did. I ran up and down my road for like 2 hours that day and went back home and passed out in my bed and I slept like a normal person for the first time in years. After I finally felt normal again I literally was the happiest person in the world and have been ever since. I try to convince people to always take care of yourself and never allow yourself to become dependent on any substance because it will ruin your life and steal your will to live. Wake up and thank God for the day ❤
Sarah! I have never commented on one of these, but your story touched me to my core. What a beautiful woman you are. You have a beautiful inner glow that your lifestyle hasn't stolen from you. I truly believe you can change your life path, it's so obvious you have so much to offer the world. Dig deep, believe in yourself, forgive yourself, learn to love yourself, get sober and go live your best life. Get out before Fentanyl gets you. Go Sarah, go! You can do this!!!
Sarah your story touched me in ways I can barely describe. My mom wasn’t in my life and struggled with addiction her entire life and I felt so much hurt and anger. I’ve found my acceptance for her and hearing you say your fear is your kids thinking you don’t love them hit me so hard because I haven’t felt like that and guilty for it now since I understand more about addiction and trauma. Thank you so much for being my moms voice I needed.
So self-aware. My heart breaks for her. I understand more now about how hard it is to come off drugs, not only because of the addictive nature of it, but because it’s extremely mentally difficult to face the things you’ve done & seen once sober. I can’t even imagine how hard that would be. All my love to Sarah 💙💙💙
Your only 29 you still have plenty of time to correct yourself... You can do it your a star. Honestly this girl has the insight to help others once she's good, can feel she's a good soul
She does. She absolutely does have time. I just turned 39 yesterday Oct 7 and I have a ten year pain killer opiate addiction years behind me now. Not to mention last weekend I got married for the first time at 39 to my GF of seven years. It’s all uphill work but it’s possible. I wish her the best. Her eyes tell such a story of pain and disappointment
I know that feeling of shame. The burden and self judgement. The only real relief...the only true rest I've found is through Jesus. It siunds cliche and I still struggle and question but nothing has given me relief like praying to Him. I really think what they say is true. He is a refuge. A wellspring of water when dehydrated in desert. I don't think I could be completely me in this life without Him. No drugs, diet, fad, vitamins, workout routine has ever given me the inner peace I feel from praying for forgiveness and help.
Sarah, the fact that despite so many years of this very difficult life, sorrounded of such much darkeness, you remain to smile, self reflect, worry about others and cry for your children, demonstrates that you are an outstanding human being and that you can overcome anything You are not alone! You are an amazing woman.
This is oddly the first time I’ve felt connected to a higher power in a long time. Listening to you talk about the darkest parts of reality. My son recently reported that he was assaulted at his school. He is 4 and it has been such a difficult process to go through. No one wants to talk about it and I can’t tell you how grateful I am to those that are willing. I am a mental health therapist myself and no amount of training or expertise could have prepared me for this. Thank you for your genuineness and humility. You are a beautiful soul and bring me so much hope. ❤
Your Grandma would love to have you back and see you get on your feet. Your grandma will be wise, and I hope you don’t miss this opportunity, will probably be the best thing for her too!!! Good luck Sarah 🙂
I see you off drugs, sober, healthy, wise, and helping others. Just know that sitting with emotional pain can never damage you the way numbing with drugs can. Learning to sit with emotional pain and to grieve is healthy.
This child has so many things going on!! She’s so young yet she’s already lived a lifetime!!! All the things she’s worried about , reentering society, her kids, addiction etc, have to be addressed one at a time. The addiction has to go first and then everything will work out with help and time. I do hope she can figure her life out and get clean!!!!!
She is so real and self aware it's impressive. She is so good at expressing her feelings and generating empathy. I wish her the best in her journey and I hope She finds peace and recovery.
Sarah is not gone! She can be saved and by listening to her, I know she wants a change. I have so much I'd love to talk to her about. I've been through or are going through everything she's talked about. I'm currently homeless on the streets of Baltimore, again, but I wish I could help. I'm 8 years drug free & 12 years drink free. All I can do is give resources and be a real friend with an ear. I wish her the world. I'd love to see the day she gets her kids back. It'll happen.... Watch.
@@lorettakeenan965 Thank you so much. While I was off the street over the past 2 years I became a Certified Recovery Coach and currently working towards becoming a Certified Peer Recovery Specialist so I can help others the way others helped me..but like you said.. I just want to be someone that a person wants to talk to. I'm down and back on the street but that's not going to stop me from doing what I need to do to help others. I wish I could fly Sarah out here and get her some good help. You take care and thanks again for the kind words.
It’s getting worse on the streets for millions, who are living in tents due to addiction and mental illness . Most addicts are mentally ill while others have the addictive gene, although these people are treated worse than animals it’s so sad. How humanity is treating its fellow human beings , we are living in the 21st century not the Victorian Era once more.
There are many of us broken souls walking around trying to fill the emptiness in our hearts with problems that have never been addressed leading back many years.after a while you can lose yourself and have no idea where to start to begin healing.i know this lady has a good heart and soul and I wish her all the very best
First time where I found myself crying watching an SWU interview. I feel for Sarah so much because she has so much insight on what is happening. Many users tend to loss that sense of cognition/sense of reality, but Sarah is very insightful. I hope she gets the help that she needs. I am sending lots of light your way
So smart and so beautiful. Hopefully she'll be able to pull herself out of this addiction. 2 years clean from fentanyl myself so I know how hard it is. I'm so sorry it got ahold of you.
Life is already tough , imagine being kicked in the heart like this young lady. Losing a parent especially your mom at such an early age is so sad. She hasn't yet started with the self mutilation of things like face tattoos etc. I hope she comes out the other side
@@thefridge7335 this woman has been dealing with trauma from early on and she even said there are a lot of family secrets. She is carrying the generational transmission of trauma, loss, and substance use disorder. She has to surrender the lies her head keeps telling her, and then maybe she’ll have a chance.
Please, call your family. They are looking for you. Please take a leap of faith and know that your Grandma will be happy when she hears from you. Please don't let your self loathing get in the way of your Grandmas need to know that you're okay. She knows you're not and wants to help. You're not as bad as you think you are. You're absolutely lovable.
Sarah, I can relate to you on soo many levels. I got sober and got both my girls back. Your boys are beautiful & I was so shocked to see you on this Channel. Girl, it’s never to late, the pain WILL go away! You’re worth is sarah. Misss you and You deserve to get your life and family back. Hope you don’t feel alone!
Thank you girl yeah I know it's random being on here lol but I really miss you and I'm glad to hear about your girls thnk you forr taking the time to comment and your nice words 💗
It’s sad when you think about how badly someone can destroy their life based on one horrible choice you made when you were fifteen years old. Of course there were many more made along the way but that initial decision can get the ball rolling to set this miserable existence in motion. To understand this and to be fed up with your own reality and want nothing more than to end the nightmare…but to not have the ability to stop doing the things that keep you in this cycle is as close as I can get when trying to describe addiction.
All I can say is, if you’re lucky enough to wake up one day with the willingness to get clean, seize the moment and get as far away as physically possible from LA or wherever it is your addiction led you at least for a time so that you can rebuild yourself. That, and find something you’re passionate about that makes life worth living.
Sara- you are a beautiful soul! There is freedom from your addictions, brokenness, and trauma you have been through. It’s not too late to turn your life around. I can see that you would be such a light to so many others. So heartbreaking to hear your story. ❤️🩹
Hi Sarah, I’m an addict and a trauma therapist, and I want to say: you can get sober and be at peace with your past. It takes persistence and courage to push through the emotional tornado at the beginning. The beginning is the hardest, but then it starts to become more and more beautiful ❤❤❤
I hope you are able to read these comments as I am sure most all of them are gonna surprise you with how positive they are. Doing these interviews seems easy until you do one but the part of it all that helped me the most was the Comments. Your 29 and I know all about the overwhelming feeling that it is too late to change but it isn't. My advice would be to get in a "Good" subutex Dr away from where you are now. Do what you have to to get in the smallest town possible and literally just make it one day at a time without using. As for being haunted by shame, guilt, and emotions that will hit you like a runaway train when you detox all you can do is to take that one day at a time. The only thing that helps me is to try to be a better person than you were the day before. You have it in you to change and I hope with everything in me you are able to. The run has to end sometime one way or another and while it may not seem like it, you have control over how that happens. Best of luck
Maybe but I would say any smart person knows that there's no right and wrong way to be a good parent and the dumb ones will think otherwise just like the person that knows everything knows nothing at all
I'm 40, I became a parent at 23. It's soooo hard. But I continued to push through and sacrifice. I have 5 kids, 2 are grown and on their own, 3 more left to raise and then it's party time for me🤣 Nah, I'm only kidding about the partying part..I don't even know how to party any more😆
SHE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE WHAT SHE IS GOING THROUGH SHE HAS SO MUCH RESPECT FROM ME... I HAVE NOT GONE THROUGH WHAT SHE HAS, BUT I DO HAVE MY OWN DEMONS IM DEALING WITH GOD BLESS US
Sarah, you are so well spoken and extremely self aware. It’s not easy to talk about the things we’ve endured in our lives and you did it with such grace. Thank you for sharing your story, I hope you strive for a better life for yourself. We’re all rooting for you
Very sad. I recently had to make the tough decision to keep my kids mother around with her fentanyl habit or protect my kids from the horror. She made the conscious decision to leave. Packed a couple bags and literally hit the streets. The power of these drugs is unbelievable. I will do everything I can to protect my kids and give them a real chance at life! Toughest decision I think I've made to date. We miss her so much but we can't go on living like that. It was financially draining us and I was not going to go broke just for her habit. The crazy thing was the guilt trip she played on me. " You don't do that to family". lol wow! She thought I owed her everything and I was just supposed to deal with it. We feel for her. Realistically I just don't think other dudes out there on the street will care either and she's easily manipulated. I've seen it. She attracts alot of attention and she knows it. She'll get so far but it's going to be very fast then it will come to a halt for her. I feel the worst for my kids. But knowing now that they won't have to grow up wondering why mommy is always locked away in the bathroom getting high, is good enough for me.
Gutsy move Mav ! I mean that seriously . Your children must be the number one consideration . You have to talk openly with them because you have no idea how their young minds will be processing things . Usually in a way that's detrimental to their own wellbeing . Bottom line ( I've lived your life ) ( and not wishing to sound judgemental although it will sound that way ) your wife made a choice followed by another choice and another ..... She knew what was at stake, but carried on regardless anyway . YOU and YOUR CHILDREN are worth waaaaay more loyalty and love . Sorry if I've spoken out of turn . Look at them tonight when they're asleep & at peace . That peace is down to you , Dad . Good Luck, Mav . "Turn & Burn" bro .....
Good morning my SWU fam. So happy to be here. I hope everyone has a wonder-full day. It's 3:05am in the High Desert and all's good in the neighborhood. Sending out Big love💕
Thank you for being so open and honest I love you . I’m a month off suboxone. I feel so lost . You’re right about playing characters to survive and ending up not even knowing who you are when we get sober. It’s really hard. I pray to god she gets well and can live a content life she deserves it 🙏🙏🙏🙏. I feel so understood. I’m crying
As a homeless survivor, I totally understand what she describes. Life can change overnight for the worse, like it did to me. I got lucky my experience lasted 2.5 months, but I get scared sometimes living like this again. Thankfully I am in a much better position today.
I really do wish her all the best. I grew up around orange county, in rehab in LA I knew fentanyl addicts. I hope she felt something from talking in this interview.
Sarah describes the environment of drug addicts impressively and yet seems to be far from freeing herself from the vicious circle of self-pity and self-loathing. Hopefully, she'll get a place in intensive addiction therapy soon. In fact, simple detoxification is not enough to face and process reality and her own history. I hope the boys have found a safe, loving home away from the drug swamp they threatened to grow up in.
The addicts who are in touch with reality have a greater chance of overcoming their addiction imo. It’s the disconnected and delusional ones who come across strong but may be struggling for decades because they have poor insight. Losing your kids and being homeless is a valid reason to feel bad
@@BrookieCookie317 It is always only a snapshot that one receives of the portrayed. My impression is that Sarah was traumatized early on and although I can tell from her narration that she has experience in therapy, but she hasn't really worked through it. Perhaps it is because early drug use prevents her from doing so. We know that the earlier someone starts a drug career, the harder it is to exit. Interviewees are often asked if they believe in karma. Whatever I think of it, according to karma, it's not about justifying one's misery based on karma, it's about overcoming it. Yes, in this respect these people unfortunately lack the insight. To make matters worse, Sarah appears to have no professional training due to her early drug career and is used to living a thoroughly codependent life. In this respect, it is also understandable that she is afraid of sober reality.
One of the best interviews. Sarah, yes, your Dad was wrong and it's terrible how they can damage us with these judgements that hurt and can shape our self-image. You are not only brilliant but so aware. It doesn't matter that you left rehab many times. Find out why, really get someone to help you so that next time you are motivated to turn this around. You CAN and you will. You are truly a sensitive, magnificent person that just got steered wrong. Forget about men and relationships now. The relationship that matters is you to yourself. I am so rooting for you.
Be the living example for your children, and go into treatment away from where you have been using. *Show* them that you love them. No matter how many times it takes...or however long it takes. Long-term residential treatment is very much needed here, if you wish to save your own life. I hope that you find the courage, and the will, to do that.
Sarah, please don’t lose hope. You’re a SMART beautiful person, there is light in you… you still have a conscience. I’m sure I’m not the only person in the comments that wants to help you.
Hey Mark, can you do an interview with a residential school survivor? The survivors are getting older and older in our communities and unfortunately they're stories will go with them and I feel like the world needs to know what the US/CANADIAN government has done to our people
I know exactly how that feels. I was SOOO PROUD of being the only person in my first rehab without an arrest....The story was different the second time...Stay in this life long enough and you end up in positions you NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS THOUGHT YOU WOULD BE....
Sarah, you need a break. You need that one person that will help you and truly be there for you. I have been where you are. When all seems hopeless there is a light at the end of the tunnel. God bless you girl. My prayers are with you.
I know this is one year ago ...Sarah , you are so awesome. Wish you the best, sincerely , from a dude you never met. So many people care about you. So much support ...we wish you the best , truly ....because you are worth it🧡🧡
Sarah! God bless you. Not church God, a personal relationship with Jesus. I got sober from alcohol at 27, relapsed and got sober for good at 30 . Got divorced from abusive husband. Many years later, I met the most amazing man& we’re married almost 3 years now. I have a bunch of autoimmune issues and he’s so supportive of me. Happy beyond my wildest dreams. Living alone for years helped me learn how to care about myself.
Sarah: i can't even imagine the level of pain you went through - and I know that once you detox this is where the hard work start. Depression hits you big time and you feel like an empty soul BUT it won't last. You need to trust the process and put your faith in ex-addicts how succeed. If they did it, you can too. You're stronger than you think. Your kids are waiting for you - you'll be back one day. I have hope, big hope for you!! Sending you love and all the hope that I can share
Sarah, I recovered from a really bad over 20 yr addiction to crack and heroin, I dragged my 3 sons through it all..I had to go through the steps and stay in a recovery home for almost a year..Im clean over a decade. Your boys will always love you. Please give yourself a chance. The past will hold you prisoner. All we have is today 💜💜💜💜💜
Thank you Sarah for sharing your story. There are people who love you unconditionally. Please don't let your guilt hold you back from doing what you want to do going forward. You have so much to offer. Your are a compelling story teller. Sharing your journey will help many others.
First time i actually cried to an interview and some are heart breaking. She said her age. I knew she was young but her saying her age hit me. I'm 34 with no kids. At 29 I can't imagine this life with having kids and shit people around. While she has still has a mind and physical appearance she should make the biggest effort To get off the drugs. I wish I could help. Only addicts are not on the same page.
When you said that you have daddy issues, made me feel how proud and loving of my daughter. I feel and am very sorry for you but you have confirmed that what I'm doing is a wonderful thing. Thank you and we wish you all the very best 🤘❤️
I'm so sorry that this sweet woman thinks her family would rather not know what has become of her than help and support her 💔 Sarah, please seek help, you obviously have so much to offer. Shame and guilt can be remedied, people will forgive and move on and there are ways to forgive yourself, I'm sure of it. What can't be remedied is you no longer sharing this life with us. Please continue to share this life with us 🙏🏾 again, you have so much to offer. I think it's safe to say we are all rooting for you. Thank you for sharing, Mark.
Poor Sarah. I feel her pain. I was an addict for 30 plus years. If she can find the right rehab center she can make it and have a wonderful life. I was 61 yrs old when I got clean. You can do it girl. You’re life will be so amazing. You are intelligent and beautiful. All my prayers are with you ❤
Seriously I did it at age 50....i got clean from it and 4 years off of heroin and fentynal. Its much easier to just deal with life than to keep up with an opiate addiction. Please get help....suboxone or methadone ...and therapy.
I hope you read these comments Sarah and are encouraged and strengthened by the many folks who have similar painful lives such as yours , but whom are managing to now live in recovery. The spiritual, emotional and physical dimensions of addiction clarify a common battleground for all of us who’ve become prey to the destructive power of bondage to our substance (s) of choice. You are so correct that when we initiate sobriety the banner of shame and condemnation that we wear seems an unbearable burden to lose without “medication”. We are an epidemic of broken people living shattered lives! I am now 12 years sober and can attest that a solid 12 step recovery group, only a handful of accountability partners, plus filling the spiritual emptiness in your life can help you break free from addiction!!!
You are a beautiful young lady and God loves you! I pray that you get clean, and I know how hard it is because I’ve been in recovery since 11/15/20. You too can do it!❤
You're so intelligent and empathetic even in the midst of your own struggle. Your potential is endless. I wish things weren't this hard for you and I hope you find peace and never loose hope. You are cared about and thought about. Be safe and be well xo
That statement from her father was quite telling. That's what scares the absolute shit out of me becoming a father. That one statement broke his daughter. Even if you know your child isn't the brightest or the most capable, be respectful to everyone people. I hope she makes something of her life and gets to a point to mother her kids.
Awww what she said about the hardest part about getting sober being the shame and memories that are so painful. The only way out is through. Everyone needs to guide themselves or find help to overcome traumas. Prayers ❤
Ugh this one got to me so much not sure why.. I just want to take her, hug her& help her. You can tell she’s no dummy, she’s very intelligent. Very kind hearted person. If she could get clean she’d have a lot to offer this world!
Thank you for sharing your story Sarah. From one recovering addict to another, thank you for being brave, telling your story, and allowing people to step into your shoes for 37 mins. I think it helps people who aren’t addicts having a better understanding of what addiction does to people, and help them see we don’t all want to be this way. Thank you Sarah❤Thank you Mark😘
Listening to her talk about how callous people in the street can be reminded me of a story from my neighborhood. These two junkies went to get some food. One of them ordered a burger and they went behind the food place and he overdosed. His "friend" panicked and ran away. When he finally came to his senses, he went back, picked up the burger and went about his day. The other guy died.
I’ve watched lots of SWU episodes, and they all feel like a gut-punch, but this one hits extra hard. Sarah, you are smart and beautiful, you can still turn this around. You are a clear, eloquent speaker, and although it broke my heart, I really appreciate you sharing your story with all of us. I think you are a beautiful person with a heart of gold. My sister is a drug addict. She’s been on the streets for close to 20 years now. Her story is similar to yours, and you’ve helped me to better understand and empathize. Wherever the wind takes you, I want you to know there are people who care about you, and I hope you attempt to rekindle those relationships, before it’s too late. I care about you, as do many others who’ve now listened to your story. We were shedding those tears along with you. I wish you all the best, travel well.
Hi my name's Sarah Bergstrom, the one in the video, and watching this for the first time after working with Mark and making this and then now seeing it in it's completion just brings a flood of emotions back. Thank you mark for letting me tell my story and be a part of something greater than ourselves, which is to spread awareness and give knowledge to those who may not understand or realize the reality of the huge opiode epidemic our country Is In. And thank you to everyone who commented ..Im reading every single one and WOW! I never thought anyone would care about what I had to say or "my story" but your kind words touched my heart and moved me to tears. Thank you for lifting me up and reminding me that there's still hope. You are all amazing and so so kind! Your comments have made Me smile and moved me to tears.just wow. Xoxoxo
Sarah- thank you for being vulnerable to share your story with us. It’s not too late- you are worth it. ❤
The only person who can change you is you.
I too was in a very dark place.
I lived under the acknowledgement of a very traumatic childhood.
I realised my consciousness was struggling with anger, resentment and pain.
I decided to forgive my past to be able to move on.
You must love yourself and realise we are all products of a very fractured, fake society.
Strength of mind is everything, I found my peace a 45yrs.
Spent all years prior not living but existing.
You will make it, sending you love and prayers from the UK.
We’re all here rooting for you! You’ve got so much to offer and you can overcome anything, you have what it takes. Whatever you do please always believe in yourself and keep trying until you succeed. Much love to you.
You can do this Sarah! Please seek help 🙏 you are an amazing human and deserve to be happy and healthy. A hug from Perú ❤️🇵🇪
I am rooting for you Sarah and believe in you. You are beautiful inside and out. Everyone can make a change. It’s about choosing to do it 💕
“When you hang out with drug addicts, you’re always alone.” Just a few words that hit home for me. The very best of luck to you, Sarah.
That stuck with me too.
Never use too much Drug use it as a reward, for a productive day, and ate two hours before bed. Followed by a meal and health drink with OneADay vitamins and algae 900 DHA!
Change your FRIENDS.
Really did😢
Dam I never heard that 👍good stuff
This should be shown to kids at school
Her story and the harsh reality of drug dependency as a result of peer pressure is a eye opener
Hope she gets the support she needs.
totally agree
My high school made us go to an AA meeting but it was nowhere near as impactful as these videos
From car to tent to abandoned warehouse. The downward spiral.
and you cant trust anyone, on any level. her story of the dead body left in the tent for 4 days and no one called the cops and just stole everything from him is harrowing.
Drugs are not the main issue, it's the trauma that needs to be addressed and healed. So yes show the drug side but also the root CAUSE side too.
Sarah you’re not alone. I went through what you’re going through in my 40s. I got clean and never look back. The very positive thing you have going for you is you realize there is a better way. Some people can’t even do that. I see better days for you.❤️
Well done Tony. That's great. I'm sure it wasn't easy for you.
She's still got hope, you can tell. I really hope she finds her path
Too many bad excuses for self-destructive behavior. I've watched many of these videos and her reasons for going down the rabbit hole are very weak. Congrats on saving your own life tho, Tony.
Yes. She’s got enough self awareness.
This is very sweet. Best of luck with your recovery in the future.
Sarah I did the same thing at 13 as you did at 15. Peer pressure, caring too much about what people thought of me, trying to grow up too fast, daddy issues, polydrug abuse, street life, I was lucky it was 1969 so it wasn’t fetty. It took me years but I got out. You got unlucky because the substances are different now. I’m so sorry, my heart breaks for you and I totally understand the exhaustion. I came so close to taking myself out and I was so so so tired. I also felt like an alien. And I felt so alone.
It is NOT too late to get your humanity and your light back. It will only get harder every day you wait. Please please please reach out for help to detox and recovery. You are not too far gone-it doesn’t matter if you have a record and you haven’t worked in ten years. It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve relapsed after recovery. It didn’t matter what you’ve done to support your habit. None of that matters. Forgive yourself. Pick yourself up again. This is only going to get harder every day you wait. You have so much to offer the world. Pick your feet up and go now. To hell with what other people say right now- they have nothing to lose and you have everything to lose. Don’t be afraid of the hospital-they can help you. Once you take the first earnest step, people will rally to help you because they see you are serious about getting better. Play this out - in another ten years, it will be damn near impossible to ever climb out if you are even alive. And you won’t care. Just look around you. Love and prayers your way, you can do it.
Mark, this was one of your best yet. If I could give Sarah one bit of advise, from my own lived experience...Do not dwell on the past, when initially seeking sobriety, don't mourn your losses, those thoughts will hold you back. She's correct, when you first get clean, everything hits you in Technicolor. Do things that make you feel good, take those little good thoughts and run with them, with the goal of creating time & space from that misery. Help an elderly person cross the road, pick up litter on the street, volunteer at an Animal Shelter, fill that void with good thoughts, there's plenty of time to deal with the other crap later. I've got 27 years clean from a devistating opiate addiction, that brought me to the same place as Sarah, and I did it by doing things that made me feel good.
Yes! I had to let the past go so that I could have a better future. I’m 30 months sober because of doing that.
Beautiful comment man
But if I can add not only when seeking sobriety but letting go of past mistakes traumas etc is important for many stages and situations/occurrences in life! There’s time to deal with long term non physical “pain” but if you let it consume you you’ll never start the process of healing in the first place
Wise words brudda I appreciate you
That is superb advice. Helping others to keep from dwelling on one's self will bring joy.
I hope Sarah sees this post and takes your advice and I hope your post makes you feel as good and hopeful as it did me.
@@georgemaranville3305 Thank you George.
We need an update from Sarah! 💜
She could absolutely benefit from a recovery program with intensive therapy. She has so much humanity & depth of emotion left in her, she needs to realize she DESERVES A GOOD LIFE. She's so deep in regret & shame she can't see the way out. 💖 Please try & help her.
You hear alot of addicts or ex addicts say they would like to be a counselor or to help others. But this young woman would be an incredible counselor, in my opinion. She has an understanding and a way of articulating the addiction and the issues it brings on like I haven't heard before. I hope she sees her potential someday.
Imo opinion the people that are successful in recovery have 2 things in common. A pretty set routine and they work tirelessly usually helping others. If you can make that your job than that can be super useful for yourself and those you reach out to.
Agree
I'm a recovering opiate addict and would love to help other addicts!
They’re also notorious liars. Every addict has said this script before. Myself included. It’s all bullshit until you see them act on any of the BS they spew out. She won’t do a single thing she says she wants to do in this video. She could!!!….but she won’t.
Lol. Ok
Sarah still has a light in her. She still has beauty inside and out. I really hope she gets help.
Real Talk,Me Too!
Ice queenie based off your comment I’m going to assume you’re in your thirty’s. We the youth say “no cap” rather than “real talk”
@@woo-elth2298 Y Would U Assume ANYTHING On That level, When it's All About Someone's Well being?? SMH 🤡
@@woo-elth2298 You youth are dumb - no cap.
@@woo-elth2298 lol I’m just gonna hope this was a joke
Found this interview very emotive and heart rendering . It's clear Sarah is highly sensitive. Even in the depths of her addiction she feels huge regret for the potential her children could have had with her. I just hope someday she sees her true worth and value. Her children will too in due course.
Always remember Sarah whatever your father said to you was probably said to him. Our parents aren't solely to blame our grandparents are too and all the generations before. You integrity shines through throughout this interview.. Thinking of you all the way from Ireland.
BLAME ???
@tuforu4 Yes blame. Tf is wrong with what they said?!
Lemme guess, you believe it was her decision & everything was her fault instead right?!
She is so relatable. Such a beautiful soul and such high emotional intelligence. I really hope she gets the help she needs💜
She is wise in so many ways. I wish she could see her worth. Trauma is definitely a gateway drug. Hoping she gets help. Wishing Sarah the best.
She is very wise. She has a great way of articulating her struggles within.
"Trauma is a gateway drug" never heard it put that way before 👍
@@mgomez9736 "Sabotaging myself" I think we can all relate.
@@mgomez9736 44
@@medicine2202 44
I just lost my brother to fentanyl. He was living in LA trying to get sober. It’s so insane to me how out of hand this is getting. I hope she finds peace and sobriety.
Condolences to you and your family on the lost of your brother. May he rest up peace ✨🕊️✨🙏🏽✨
My condolences
So sorry to hear .
I am so sorry for your loss. Grief counseling does help! If you seek out someone to help, please do it.
In my experience, grief happens in a cycle that can help you heal/ live on
My cousins best friend just died giving mouth to mouth to someone that was snorting fentanyl. BE CAREFUL YOU GUYS
I was 32 when I found freedom from fentanyl/norfentanyl and the PTSD that kept me hooked to them. You can do it!
I hope she reads your comment
How did you deal with the PTSD?
@@KAINZO88 I’m a Christian. I got on my knees and begged God to reveal Himself to me, to take away my anger, resentment and pain. I promised Him I would seek Him more than I sought the things of the world. That meant praying daily, studying the Bible, seeking forgiveness when I had done wrong.
People can speculate and say as they please. I know God is real and I’m far from a “nut” or easy to convince. I doubted God for over two decades and it was miserable. When I tell you I was close to ending my life on multiple occasions I don’t say it lightly. I OD’d 3 times in 2020 and my last time on Thanksgiving Day after being revived again I was at my lowest mentally, physically and emotionally.
It’s still hard to believe I was that hateful towards the fact of my own existence but I’m VERY grateful God saw me through and I’m able to share this people today. Sorry for all the typing!
Congrats on taking your life back
How did you become sober ?
Sarah you are incredible. Your emotional intelligence and empathy is your power. Never lose it. Your dad was wrong. You are so worthy and intelligent and valuable. You are so strong. Brilliant interview. I am sending you reiki, strength and love to help kick your nasty habit and be the mom that you want to be ❤ much love from Australia
That's what I thought throughout the whole interview. Her father was so so wrong about her being not intelligent.
She is very eloquent as well.
@@rubecula Absolutely! Cruel words stick. He should never have said that, poor girl
@@hannahmitchell87 --- I think that for millions of little girls that message is communicated without ever saying a word. More often by mothers than fathers.
I agree with everything you said! She also has a great sense of humor even through the misery she said a couple of things that made my laugh.
Yes, empathy wins!!
I too was addicted to fentanyl and heroin and got my kids taken away for a year and a half. But I have them back now and life is good in recovery. You can do this Sarah I believe in you. I see so much strength in you.
You'll fall off the wagon eventually
@@creepshow8778 why would you say that
@@creepshow8778 your veery cheerful.
I’m about to be two years clean in may from fentanyl addiction that I had for three years. It was one of the hardest battles to deal with and it’s day by day. Thank you for your interview.
Good for you buddy! 💪🏽
I quit drinking four years ago and it was best decision ever.
I still have some work to do.
Keep up the good fight! Better days ahead! 🙏🏽
Congratulations on 2 years clean! You slayed a dragon.
@@lukefish7562 That's awesome! Way to be strong and a good role model for others who are struggling.
Sweet! 2 years is awesome!!
@@a.w.3772 thank you very much. I try and return some of the positivity I’ve received from strangers like yourself. Appreciate you.
Shine On! 💪🏼
This is one of the best episodes I've seen. The way this woman expresses herself is exceptional. I'm sending thoughts and prayers to you, love.
"You gotta make sure you marry rich. Because all you have is your looks. You're not smart". The way that enraged me, when she said her dad told her that, I cannot even express in words. I cannot fathom, as a mother myself, EVER saying those words to my child. I tell my son every single day how much I love him and how proud I am of him. You don't have to be rich or perfect to be a good parent. You just have to be there for your kids, every single day. Support them, love them, protect them. Sarah, I am so sorry your dad and the other adults in your life failed you. You ARE smart and you deserve a good, happy life. I pray that you are able to overcome the addiction and get your kiddos back. I pray that you are able to begin your healing path and start on the road to a happy, fulfilling life
My heart goes out to this woman. She is so sweet and SOOOOOO smart! I feel like she has a bright future ahead of her……she just doesn’t realize it yet. She knows what got her to this point and I think she knows what it’s going to take to get out. I see the strength in her to pull herself up. SARAH YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!❤️❤️
She may have had learning disabilities in school, which people still confuse for stupidity. Her father may have been referring to that. My brother had massive dyslexia and problem solving issues in elementary school which led to self-hatred, acting out, alienation from family. Around 17, after trying every drug known to man, he decided to‐ just try. He now owns a small computer company.
I really hope she reads all of these amazing supportive comments.
Exactly! Sarah is definitely a very smart young woman.
Most alcoholics and addicts are very brilliant people, that's why we find every walk of life is susceptible to this disease. Addiction doesn't discriminate, right 😉
This episode really hit me. Had me crying a few times because of know those feelings she’s having. I’m now 29 with 2 kids but I’ve been sober 4.5 years. Everyone’s rock bottom is different, you’ll know and finally say goodbye to this life. Don’t give up Sarah you seem like such a beautiful person inside and out & like me was introduced to drugs at such a young age by a boyfriend when you really don’t think it’s gonna control your whole life years and years down the road. You got this Sarah don’t give up!
Sarah what your father said to you about not being smart wasn’t true. But you hearing those words made it true in your head. His words became your thoughts. You opened up to us so much here and so many of us are reaching out to whatever higher power we trust in hopes of giving you hope. Get clean and, more importantly, connect with a support system that helps you tackle all the challenges of being clean. I know you love your sons but do it for you first. You deserve a good life and to share that good life with so many others.
Seems that many people on these broadcasts lay blame on the parent or others. Sarah is a good person at heart; however not completely 'straight up'. When asked what she does for money...she avoided the question. She sells herself...if she got a normal job, she would find out that being responsible and going to work would solve most of her problems. Women especially wish to pass on their shortcomings and psychological problems onto the men in their lives.
every rock bottom has a trap door. you can always go lower. even when you think you're at the bottom. but you're 29. you can turn this around. i did it at 27 and have 13 years clean. methadone saved my life. gave me the ability to focus on myself without always craving the drug. now i have a family, a career, house, and happiness. good luck to you!
Best thing I ever heard was that you reach your bottom when you throw the shovel away. For anyone struggling with addition, it never has to get worse than it is right now.
Omg I’ve basically cried with you.I have a 13 year old daughter and I think watching these videos made me a better dad.
Can't stress enough how important it is for your interviewees to have a straight person just listen in that safe space you give them. That small, seemingly insignificant gesture can be the thread that helps pull someone like Sarah out. 💜
you’re completely right
That’s a great point
I relate to losing your mom as a child, I lost my mom to a drug overdose when I was 13. Its very challenging living without your mom, especially from the time of childhood.. I'm struggling with addiction also, in the process of tapering off of subutex. Getting away from an addiction, going through the dreaded withdrawals, is one of the scariest things I've ever been through. You CAN turn your life around, I believe in you and I know many others believe in you too! I wish you all the best ❤️
Sarah you are not alone. There is an opioid epidemic gripping this nation. Our heart is with you. 🙏
@Boon Teenth what is open birders mean
"Opioid epidemic" hah! I'll take a page from Dave Chappelles books and say "Just say no!" 😂
@@ryanistooconceited it's not easy to say no because it often starts with a tiny amount of opioid in prescription medications given for genuine pain relief. The meds give a soft cushion to a harsh life creating a need for more which in time turns into a habit.
@@lisasheridan5482 I'm kidding, you would need to know D.C's latest material to get that I suppose.
Check me out guys i got some intersting content 😎 god bless
I’ve been watching this channel for about 6 months now and have been wondering how long it would be until I saw someone on here that I know… and that turned out to be until I was today years old…
Sarah - you and I met in rehab many moons ago. Pathetically, I can’t recall which one though because like you, I’ve been to about 6 rehabs in the last 12 years. Your interview here was f’ing raw! And I mean that in the best way possible. It genuinely hurts to see you going through so much. I absolutely adored you when we were in treatment. Your smile and laugh and your overall demeanor just tickled me fkin pink. Even just thinking about back then makes me feel a little warm and fuzzy inside.
I know all too well how addiction makes us forget who we actually are, and that you most likely feel that the Sarah I knew back then is dead, but I will vehemently disagree with that. Even in this mess of a storm you have to survive in everyday, I still see the real, authentic you beneath all this pain.
Anywho…. comment back here if you could use someone to talk to without fear of judgement, or even just reminisce about a time before fetty sucked the souls out of pretty much every opiate addict. I’ll happily split off the list of treatment centers I’ve been to and the general timeframes I was there so you know I’m not just some rando creep in YT comments or something hah. But no pressure by any means. Either way, I just hope you read through these comments at all because if so many people are able to see the light that’s still inside you, then it’s most definitely still there!
She was in my girl scout’s troupe. Always has been a beautiful and kind soul. I pray the best for her.
Opioid addicts always make me the saddest. It’s a very long and lonely road to conquer. The effects of long term opioid use are absolutely horrendous. I was on pills from 2009-2012 and I finally got clean in 2012 and have been 100% sober since then. It was the hardest fucking thing I’ve ever faced. I wish I could help this girl. I wish I could help all addicts. In the past decade I have been sober fentanyl has been the biggest problem in the drug scene, and I thank God that I never used it or was even around it. I was on Roxy’s for 3 years and even though I never used heroin, I was still a drained out junkie who didn’t care whether I lived or died just as long as I was not going through withdrawals. I finally got on suboxone for like 3 months and then I realized that I had pretty much just traded Roxy’s for suboxone and made the choice to stop the suboxone and get 100% clean. I was so fucking sick for about 15-20 days, and I still felt crappy for another couple months after that. But finally one day I woke up and felt a source of energy that made me just want to get out and go jogging (idk why), so I did. I ran up and down my road for like 2 hours that day and went back home and passed out in my bed and I slept like a normal person for the first time in years. After I finally felt normal again I literally was the happiest person in the world and have been ever since. I try to convince people to always take care of yourself and never allow yourself to become dependent on any substance because it will ruin your life and steal your will to live. Wake up and thank God for the day ❤
Thank you for your story , it’s uplifting
I’m glad I got out before the fentanyl era.
Sarah! I have never commented on one of these, but your story touched me to my core. What a beautiful woman you are. You have a beautiful inner glow that your lifestyle hasn't stolen from you. I truly believe you can change your life path, it's so obvious you have so much to offer the world. Dig deep, believe in yourself, forgive yourself, learn to love yourself, get sober and go live your best life. Get out before Fentanyl gets you. Go Sarah, go! You can do this!!!
Jesus, what a tough life. It's a shame that so much trauma can cause someone to turn to drugs.
Doesn't take trauma to turn to drugs....
Sarah your story touched me in ways I can barely describe. My mom wasn’t in my life and struggled with addiction her entire life and I felt so much hurt and anger. I’ve found my acceptance for her and hearing you say your fear is your kids thinking you don’t love them hit me so hard because I haven’t felt like that and guilty for it now since I understand more about addiction and trauma. Thank you so much for being my moms voice I needed.
So self-aware. My heart breaks for her. I understand more now about how hard it is to come off drugs, not only because of the addictive nature of it, but because it’s extremely mentally difficult to face the things you’ve done & seen once sober. I can’t even imagine how hard that would be. All my love to Sarah 💙💙💙
Your only 29 you still have plenty of time to correct yourself... You can do it your a star. Honestly this girl has the insight to help others once she's good, can feel she's a good soul
She does. She absolutely does have time. I just turned 39 yesterday Oct 7 and I have a ten year pain killer opiate addiction years behind me now. Not to mention last weekend I got married for the first time at 39 to my GF of seven years. It’s all uphill work but it’s possible. I wish her the best. Her eyes tell such a story of pain and disappointment
@@2vcrew782 I wish you the best and good luck with your marriage.
@@2vcrew782 - Happy Birthday! 🎉 Wishing you the best!
I know that feeling of shame. The burden and self judgement. The only real relief...the only true rest I've found is through Jesus. It siunds cliche and I still struggle and question but nothing has given me relief like praying to Him. I really think what they say is true. He is a refuge. A wellspring of water when dehydrated in desert. I don't think I could be completely me in this life without Him. No drugs, diet, fad, vitamins, workout routine has ever given me the inner peace I feel from praying for forgiveness and help.
She is a fentanyl addict. Maybe not as much time as you think.
This woman has a lot of insight. She might be able to pull herself out of it. Stay strong girl
Sarah, the fact that despite so many years of this very difficult life, sorrounded of such much darkeness, you remain to smile, self reflect, worry about others and cry for your children, demonstrates that you are an outstanding human being and that you can overcome anything You are not alone! You are an amazing woman.
Sad case... great interview. Hope she finds inner peace and gets the help she needs to make sobriety last.
This is oddly the first time I’ve felt connected to a higher power in a long time. Listening to you talk about the darkest parts of reality. My son recently reported that he was assaulted at his school. He is 4 and it has been such a difficult process to go through. No one wants to talk about it and I can’t tell you how grateful I am to those that are willing. I am a mental health therapist myself and no amount of training or expertise could have prepared me for this. Thank you for your genuineness and humility. You are a beautiful soul
and bring me so much hope. ❤
Your Grandma would love to have you back and see you get on your feet. Your grandma will be wise, and I hope you don’t miss this opportunity, will probably be the best thing for her too!!! Good luck Sarah 🙂
You are more than your looks. It's so empowering as a woman when you realize this.
Go home girl. Accept help from family and try to start putting some of these things behind you. And enjoy every moment you're given with them. ❤️
She is so sincere about her life. I wish her all the best. She deserves it. Cape Town South Africa. 🇿🇦🇵🇹
I see you off drugs, sober, healthy, wise, and helping others. Just know that sitting with emotional pain can never damage you the way numbing with drugs can. Learning to sit with emotional pain and to grieve is healthy.
This child has so many things going on!! She’s so young yet she’s already lived a lifetime!!! All the things she’s worried about , reentering society, her kids, addiction etc, have to be addressed one at a time. The addiction has to go first and then everything will work out with help and time. I do hope she can figure her life out and get clean!!!!!
She’s 29 tho
She is so real and self aware it's impressive. She is so good at expressing her feelings and generating empathy. I wish her the best in her journey and I hope She finds peace and recovery.
Sarah is not gone! She can be saved and by listening to her, I know she wants a change. I have so much I'd love to talk to her about. I've been through or are going through everything she's talked about. I'm currently homeless on the streets of Baltimore, again, but I wish I could help. I'm 8 years drug free & 12 years drink free. All I can do is give resources and be a real friend with an ear. I wish her the world. I'd love to see the day she gets her kids back. It'll happen.... Watch.
Same. It sucks out here. None truly realizes this life.
Your message can be a real help.So many send good wishes but most of all she needs a friend and to be heard
@@lorettakeenan965 Thank you so much. While I was off the street over the past 2 years I became a Certified Recovery Coach and currently working towards becoming a Certified Peer Recovery Specialist so I can help others the way others helped me..but like you said.. I just want to be someone that a person wants to talk to. I'm down and back on the street but that's not going to stop me from doing what I need to do to help others. I wish I could fly Sarah out here and get her some good help. You take care and thanks again for the kind words.
You have a heart Sarah. You have empathy.
Cling to it,it's what will get you through this.
It’s getting worse on the streets for millions, who are living in tents due to addiction and mental illness .
Most addicts are mentally ill while others have the addictive gene, although these people are treated worse than animals it’s so sad.
How humanity is treating its fellow human beings , we are living in the 21st century not the Victorian Era once more.
There are many of us broken souls walking around trying to fill the emptiness in our hearts with problems that have never been addressed leading back many years.after a while you can lose yourself and have no idea where to start to begin healing.i know this lady has a good heart and soul and I wish her all the very best
First time where I found myself crying watching an SWU interview. I feel for Sarah so much because she has so much insight on what is happening. Many users tend to loss that sense of cognition/sense of reality, but Sarah is very insightful. I hope she gets the help that she needs. I am sending lots of light your way
So smart and so beautiful. Hopefully she'll be able to pull herself out of this addiction. 2 years clean from fentanyl myself so I know how hard it is. I'm so sorry it got ahold of you.
Life is already tough , imagine being kicked in the heart like this young lady. Losing a parent especially your mom at such an early age is so sad. She hasn't yet started with the self mutilation of things like face tattoos etc. I hope she comes out the other side
Or face tattoos can just be someone's style? Maybe not smart but it's not always 'mutilation'
@@thefridge7335 I would respectfully disagree. There’s always a trauma history with facial tattoos.
@@5thdimension625 yeah.. I kinda see what you mean
@@thefridge7335 this woman has been dealing with trauma from early on and she even said there are a lot of family secrets. She is carrying the generational transmission of trauma, loss, and substance use disorder. She has to surrender the lies her head keeps telling her, and then maybe she’ll have a chance.
Even worse than facial tattoos she’ll start sticking needles in her arms.
Please, call your family. They are looking for you. Please take a leap of faith and know that your Grandma will be happy when she hears from you. Please don't let your self loathing get in the way of your Grandmas need to know that you're okay. She knows you're not and wants to help. You're not as bad as you think you are. You're absolutely lovable.
Sarah, I can relate to you on soo many levels. I got sober and got both my girls back. Your boys are beautiful & I was so shocked to see you on this Channel. Girl, it’s never to late, the pain WILL go away! You’re worth is sarah. Misss you and You deserve to get your life and family back. Hope you don’t feel alone!
Thank you girl yeah I know it's random being on here lol but I really miss you and I'm glad to hear about your girls thnk you forr taking the time to comment and your nice words 💗
@@Sarah-hr4el drugs
It’s sad when you think about how badly someone can destroy their life based on one horrible choice you made when you were fifteen years old. Of course there were many more made along the way but that initial decision can get the ball rolling to set this miserable existence in motion.
To understand this and to be fed up with your own reality and want nothing more than to end the nightmare…but to not have the ability to stop doing the things that keep you in this cycle is as close as I can get when trying to describe addiction.
All I can say is, if you’re lucky enough to wake up one day with the willingness to get clean, seize the moment and get as far away as physically possible from LA or wherever it is your addiction led you at least for a time so that you can rebuild yourself. That, and find something you’re passionate about that makes life worth living.
Imagine if some idiot wouldn’t have killed her mother.. maybe she would’ve have more guidance.. maybe not, we will never know
your ciomment made me cry
Sara- you are a beautiful soul! There is freedom from your addictions, brokenness, and trauma you have been through. It’s not too late to turn your life around. I can see that you would be such a light to so many others. So heartbreaking to hear your story. ❤️🩹
Send you lots of love Sarah!
The pain of what we’ve been through is a real thing. Lots of strength to you ❤
Hi Sarah, I’m an addict and a trauma therapist, and I want to say: you can get sober and be at peace with your past. It takes persistence and courage to push through the emotional tornado at the beginning. The beginning is the hardest, but then it starts to become more and more beautiful ❤❤❤
She does not need to be there. She is so clear headed and in touch with herself. And a smart girl too. Please help her to get out. I feel for her!
I hope you are able to read these comments as I am sure most all of them are gonna surprise you with how positive they are. Doing these interviews seems easy until you do one but the part of it all that helped me the most was the Comments. Your 29 and I know all about the overwhelming feeling that it is too late to change but it isn't. My advice would be to get in a "Good" subutex Dr away from where you are now. Do what you have to to get in the smallest town possible and literally just make it one day at a time without using. As for being haunted by shame, guilt, and emotions that will hit you like a runaway train when you detox all you can do is to take that one day at a time. The only thing that helps me is to try to be a better person than you were the day before. You have it in you to change and I hope with everything in me you are able to. The run has to end sometime one way or another and while it may not seem like it, you have control over how that happens. Best of luck
It takes bravery to admit weakness. Especially in parenting
Maybe but I would say any smart person knows that there's no right and wrong way to be a good parent and the dumb ones will think otherwise just like the person that knows everything knows nothing at all
@@ferguson8143 Ain't that the truth! Thanks for joining the conversation 👍😎
@@ItsFreshItsAnne and thank you for haveing me and i hope all is well on your end
I'm 40, I became a parent at 23. It's soooo hard. But I continued to push through and sacrifice. I have 5 kids, 2 are grown and on their own, 3 more left to raise and then it's party time for me🤣 Nah, I'm only kidding about the partying part..I don't even know how to party any more😆
@ Wesley alan trust me when you get those kids grown and out you will know how to party 🫠
SHE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE WHAT SHE IS GOING THROUGH SHE HAS SO MUCH RESPECT FROM ME... I HAVE NOT GONE THROUGH WHAT SHE HAS, BUT I DO HAVE MY OWN DEMONS IM DEALING WITH GOD BLESS US
Sarah, you are so well spoken and extremely self aware. It’s not easy to talk about the things we’ve endured in our lives and you did it with such grace. Thank you for sharing your story, I hope you strive for a better life for yourself. We’re all rooting for you
Very sad. I recently had to make the tough decision to keep my kids mother around with her fentanyl habit or protect my kids from the horror. She made the conscious decision to leave. Packed a couple bags and literally hit the streets. The power of these drugs is unbelievable. I will do everything I can to protect my kids and give them a real chance at life! Toughest decision I think I've made to date. We miss her so much but we can't go on living like that. It was financially draining us and I was not going to go broke just for her habit. The crazy thing was the guilt trip she played on me. " You don't do that to family". lol wow! She thought I owed her everything and I was just supposed to deal with it. We feel for her. Realistically I just don't think other dudes out there on the street will care either and she's easily manipulated. I've seen it. She attracts alot of attention and she knows it. She'll get so far but it's going to be very fast then it will come to a halt for her. I feel the worst for my kids. But knowing now that they won't have to grow up wondering why mommy is always locked away in the bathroom getting high, is good enough for me.
I agree!
Gutsy move Mav ! I mean that seriously . Your children must be the number one consideration . You have to talk openly with them because you have no idea how their young minds will be processing things . Usually in a way that's detrimental to their own wellbeing . Bottom line ( I've lived your life ) ( and not wishing to sound judgemental although it will sound that way ) your wife made a choice followed by another choice and another ..... She knew what was at stake, but carried on regardless anyway . YOU and YOUR CHILDREN are worth waaaaay more loyalty and love . Sorry if I've spoken out of turn . Look at them tonight when they're asleep & at peace . That peace is down to you , Dad . Good Luck, Mav . "Turn & Burn" bro .....
Good morning my SWU fam. So happy to be here. I hope everyone has a wonder-full day. It's 3:05am in the High Desert and all's good in the neighborhood. Sending out Big love💕
Hey Monk!👋🤓 6:22am in Brooklyn NY. Good Vibes to ya Green Eyed Lady.
GM JM, have a good weekend!
@@Gram72534 You do same G7. Big love💕
@@myeyeswentdeaf6213 💕💋
Thank you for being so open and honest I love you . I’m a month off suboxone. I feel so lost . You’re right about playing characters to survive and ending up not even knowing who you are when we get sober. It’s really hard. I pray to god she gets well and can live a content life she deserves it 🙏🙏🙏🙏. I feel so understood. I’m crying
As a homeless survivor, I totally understand what she describes. Life can change overnight for the worse, like it did to me. I got lucky my experience lasted 2.5 months, but I get scared sometimes living like this again. Thankfully I am in a much better position today.
I really do wish her all the best. I grew up around orange county, in rehab in LA I knew fentanyl addicts. I hope she felt something from talking in this interview.
Sarah describes the environment of drug addicts impressively and yet seems to be far from freeing herself from the vicious circle of self-pity and self-loathing. Hopefully, she'll get a place in intensive addiction therapy soon. In fact, simple detoxification is not enough to face and process reality and her own history.
I hope the boys have found a safe, loving home away from the drug swamp they threatened to grow up in.
Very well put
The addicts who are in touch with reality have a greater chance of overcoming their addiction imo. It’s the disconnected and delusional ones who come across strong but may be struggling for decades because they have poor insight. Losing your kids and being homeless is a valid reason to feel bad
@@BrookieCookie317 It is always only a snapshot that one receives of the portrayed. My impression is that Sarah was traumatized early on and although I can tell from her narration that she has experience in therapy, but she hasn't really worked through it. Perhaps it is because early drug use prevents her from doing so. We know that the earlier someone starts a drug career, the harder it is to exit. Interviewees are often asked if they believe in karma. Whatever I think of it, according to karma, it's not about justifying one's misery based on karma, it's about overcoming it. Yes, in this respect these people unfortunately lack the insight. To make matters worse, Sarah appears to have no professional training due to her early drug career and is used to living a thoroughly codependent life. In this respect, it is also understandable that she is afraid of sober reality.
One of the best interviews. Sarah, yes, your Dad was wrong and it's terrible how they can damage us with these judgements that hurt and can shape our self-image. You are not only brilliant but so aware. It doesn't matter that you left rehab many times. Find out why, really get someone to help you so that next time you are motivated to turn this around. You CAN and you will. You are truly a sensitive, magnificent person that just got steered wrong. Forget about men and relationships now. The relationship that matters is you to yourself. I am so rooting for you.
Be the living example for your children, and go into treatment away from where you have been using. *Show* them that you love them. No matter how many times it takes...or however long it takes.
Long-term residential treatment is very much needed here, if you wish to save your own life. I hope that you find the courage, and the will, to do that.
Sarah, please don’t lose hope. You’re a SMART beautiful person, there is light in you… you still have a conscience.
I’m sure I’m not the only person in the comments that wants to help you.
Hey Mark, can you do an interview with a residential school survivor? The survivors are getting older and older in our communities and unfortunately they're stories will go with them and I feel like the world needs to know what the US/CANADIAN government has done to our people
I know exactly how that feels. I was SOOO PROUD of being the only person in my first rehab without an arrest....The story was different the second time...Stay in this life long enough and you end up in positions you NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS THOUGHT YOU WOULD BE....
Sarah, you need a break. You need that one person that will help you and truly be there for you. I have been where you are. When all seems hopeless there is a light at the end of the tunnel. God bless you girl. My prayers are with you.
I know this is one year ago ...Sarah , you are so awesome. Wish you the best, sincerely , from a dude you never met. So many people care about you. So much support ...we wish you the best , truly ....because you are worth it🧡🧡
Sarah! God bless you. Not church God, a personal relationship with Jesus. I got sober from alcohol at 27, relapsed and got sober for good at 30 . Got divorced from abusive husband. Many years later, I met the most amazing man& we’re married almost 3 years now. I have a bunch of autoimmune issues and he’s so supportive of me. Happy beyond my wildest dreams. Living alone for years helped me learn how to care about myself.
Blessings keep in the fight sister. Blessings.
Sarah: i can't even imagine the level of pain you went through - and I know that once you detox this is where the hard work start. Depression hits you big time and you feel like an empty soul BUT it won't last. You need to trust the process and put your faith in ex-addicts how succeed. If they did it, you can too. You're stronger than you think. Your kids are waiting for you - you'll be back one day. I have hope, big hope for you!! Sending you love and all the hope that I can share
Sarah, I recovered from a really bad over 20 yr addiction to crack and heroin, I dragged my 3 sons through it all..I had to go through the steps and stay in a recovery home for almost a year..Im clean over a decade. Your boys will always love you. Please give yourself a chance. The past will hold you prisoner. All we have is today 💜💜💜💜💜
Thank you Sarah for sharing your story. There are people who love you unconditionally. Please don't let your guilt hold you back from doing what you want to do going forward. You have so much to offer. Your are a compelling story teller. Sharing your journey will help many others.
First time i actually cried to an interview and some are heart breaking.
She said her age. I knew she was young but her saying her age hit me.
I'm 34 with no kids. At 29 I can't imagine this life with having kids and shit people around.
While she has still has a mind and physical appearance she should make the biggest effort
To get off the drugs.
I wish I could help. Only addicts are not on the same page.
When you said that you have daddy issues, made me feel how proud and loving of my daughter. I feel and am very sorry for you but you have confirmed that what I'm doing is a wonderful thing. Thank you and we wish you all the very best 🤘❤️
I'm so sorry that this sweet woman thinks her family would rather not know what has become of her than help and support her 💔 Sarah, please seek help, you obviously have so much to offer. Shame and guilt can be remedied, people will forgive and move on and there are ways to forgive yourself, I'm sure of it. What can't be remedied is you no longer sharing this life with us. Please continue to share this life with us 🙏🏾 again, you have so much to offer. I think it's safe to say we are all rooting for you. Thank you for sharing, Mark.
Poor Sarah. I feel her pain. I was an addict for 30 plus years. If she can find the right rehab center she can make it and have a wonderful life. I was 61 yrs old when I got clean. You can do it girl. You’re life will be so amazing. You are intelligent and beautiful. All my prayers are with you ❤
wow I didn't know anyone could survive that long as an addict.
She looked deadass directly into the camera when she said she felt "alone." That hit hard. I really hope you live to see your happiness....
Seriously I did it at age 50....i got clean from it and 4 years off of heroin and fentynal. Its much easier to just deal with life than to keep up with an opiate addiction. Please get help....suboxone or methadone ...and therapy.
I hope you read these comments Sarah and are encouraged and strengthened by the many folks who have similar painful lives such as yours , but whom are managing to now live in recovery. The spiritual, emotional and physical dimensions of addiction clarify a common battleground for all of us who’ve become prey to the destructive power of bondage to our substance (s) of choice. You are so correct that when we initiate sobriety the banner of shame and condemnation that we wear seems an unbearable burden to lose without “medication”. We are an epidemic of broken people living shattered lives! I am now 12 years sober and can attest that a solid 12 step recovery group, only a handful of accountability partners, plus filling the spiritual emptiness in your life can help you break free from addiction!!!
Sarah is the first person I've seen that looks good with blue hair!
Yes, the hair is beautiful. She presents so well, it is a shock to hear the story behind.
Helen: I have to agree on her hair. It is a fetching shade. Tee
Here, here! Now GREEN...that's ALWAYS a nooooo!!!😆
Me too! She looks so good with it 🤩
You are a beautiful young lady and God loves you! I pray that you get clean, and I know how hard it is because I’ve been in recovery since 11/15/20. You too can do it!❤
This is my best friend. This is hardest thing I’ve ever heard to watch.
Do you know if she is doing ok.?
It’s been a year since this interview
Sending prayers
@@jeffersonmccoyWonder, too. Did you read Sarah's own comment?
Hit the nail on the head around the 20min mark. Self-medicating. I hope she finds the strength to get treatment.
You're so intelligent and empathetic even in the midst of your own struggle. Your potential is endless. I wish things weren't this hard for you and I hope you find peace and never loose hope. You are cared about and thought about. Be safe and be well xo
That statement from her father was quite telling. That's what scares the absolute shit out of me becoming a father. That one statement broke his daughter. Even if you know your child isn't the brightest or the most capable, be respectful to everyone people. I hope she makes something of her life and gets to a point to mother her kids.
The father was giving good advice .
Awww what she said about the hardest part about getting sober being the shame and memories that are so painful. The only way out is through. Everyone needs to guide themselves or find help to overcome traumas. Prayers ❤
Shame is so destructive.
I’m praying for you Sarah… I hope one day you find the strength to turn your life around and be there for your kids, they need you! ❤❤❤
Ugh this one got to me so much not sure why.. I just want to take her, hug her& help her. You can tell she’s no dummy, she’s very intelligent. Very kind hearted person. If she could get clean she’d have a lot to offer this world!
Thank you for sharing your story Sarah. From one recovering addict to another, thank you for being brave, telling your story, and allowing people to step into your shoes for 37 mins. I think it helps people who aren’t addicts having a better understanding of what addiction does to people, and help them see we don’t all want to be this way. Thank you Sarah❤Thank you Mark😘
Listening to her talk about how callous people in the street can be reminded me of a story from my neighborhood. These two junkies went to get some food. One of them ordered a burger and they went behind the food place and he overdosed. His "friend" panicked and ran away. When he finally came to his senses, he went back, picked up the burger and went about his day. The other guy died.
That’s not callous; that’s hunger.
@@JaimeMesChiens its both.
I’ve watched lots of SWU episodes, and they all feel like a gut-punch, but this one hits extra hard. Sarah, you are smart and beautiful, you can still turn this around. You are a clear, eloquent speaker, and although it broke my heart, I really appreciate you sharing your story with all of us. I think you are a beautiful person with a heart of gold. My sister is a drug addict. She’s been on the streets for close to 20 years now. Her story is similar to yours, and you’ve helped me to better understand and empathize. Wherever the wind takes you, I want you to know there are people who care about you, and I hope you attempt to rekindle those relationships, before it’s too late. I care about you, as do many others who’ve now listened to your story. We were shedding those tears along with you. I wish you all the best, travel well.