What My Daughter’s Mental Health Illness Has Taught Me - V. Gikonyo Gitonga
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- Опубліковано 28 вер 2024
- Daughters have a special place in their daddy’s hearts. Zaria is no different. Her father Gikonyo watched with pride as she grew up. He did everything he knew to provide, guide and protect. Then life started changing. His daughter was fighting an illness that no doctor could diagnose. Following closely was an invisible monster that the daughter had to fight alone. He could only stand aside and watch. Mental illness is hard on those struggling with it. It is also devastating for those who love them. There’s the feeling of helplessness and struggling to understand an unseen illness, questioning our role in it and what we could have done differently. Gikonyo Gitonga has stepped up and is supporting his daughter Zaria who has multiple mental health illnesses. He’s taken time to read up on mental health, watches her interviews, encourages her along and openly shares his experiences. He encourages men to take a keen interest in their children and to stand by them.
#mentalhealth #Bipolar #Fatherhood
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Sometimes we just need to be there, not to fix or do anything in particular but to let our loved ones feel supported and cared for. As a mother/caregiver lv learnt so much about bipolar mood disorder. The highs & lows,, medication/side effects, when to see the doctor, when to see the counselor etc. Iv also realized bipolar disorder doesn’t stop you from achieving your dreams. (Zaria completed her law degree last week. We are so proud of her & we thank God for everything….🙏)
Congratulations Zaria
I wish I had met you or heard this a month ago 😢to be more aware of bipolar
@@estherkamau8739l believe this is the right time. It’s never too late!
this is powerful. Well done Irene, VG and Zaria.
1 pi àq1
Profound! There is no better medication than family's support, love and understanding. Well done Mama Zaria for being a strong pillar to your family. Well done Baba Zaria for standing up as a man for your family. And well done to Zaria, for your insight and courage.
Nice to see you Gikonyo. Thanks so much for being a wonderful parent and so brave to share this. Your daughter is amazing and will go far.
Well done my friend VG for your bravery to discuss this very important subject. So proud of Zaria and how far she has come. Well done to you, Irene and your son.
Amazing. Just because we can't see it doesn't mean it's not there.
Such a great father for supporting your daughter. Blessings!
Thank you for sharing Bro. Gikonyo.
Thank you for your sharing baba Zari.
Thank you SO MUCH for sharing. Would you mind kindly mentioning what were some of the things you noticed when Zaria was younger that made you seek medical advice? How do you know the difference between 'normal' teenage truancy, and a bigger medical issue? Thanks a lot.
Beatrice, i would encourage you to talk to a doctor, preferably a paediatrician who has been seeing your child if you have one, because i have learnt over time, that a parent knows their child, and so when something causes concern, it's best to share with someone, and if you can, seek support, incase early intervention is needed.
❤️🔥
The loveliest thing about this talk is that it's told from a father. A father who didn't shy away from admitting that he didn't go to all the hospital appointments, a father who admitted that he saw no reason for the daughter to be depressed as he had provided for the family, and a father, who credits the mother of his children for doing most of the care.
I hope this gives other men the courage, to walk with their families on this kind of journey.
Thank you sir,for being vulnerable and letting us hear your story.
may it also enlighten and encourage fathers to be there in their children lives not only to provide financially but also emotionally and healthy issues.
I was once here..trust me I try everything to make people feel appreciated..I try to be kind..nomatter what you are facing in life..please be kind to another soul...you might be saving a soul out here..am healed..I have God in my life..I pray more..and I chose to see positivity in everything I be facing in life..
God bless you Zaria's dad for being honest. Honesty and speaking up is very healing. Sad to say that most families aren't like this. When I opened up about my mental illness in 2019 to my family, it was the beginning of a very dark and lonely path. Thankfully I was already a born-again Christian. I have learnt to forgive, I also started learning how to ask for help, I started telling people about my illness, I stopped being ashamed, and I try to educate those willing to listen. I have since learnt that I have been living with the illness since I was a child, and that is a long time ago coz I am 43 today. I suffered in silence with an illness I did not even understand. We need to stop the stigma surrounding mental health. I personally believe that it is by God's Grace that I have made it this far. That Grace becomes clearer as I come to understand how horrible and disruptive mental illness is. To all who are struggling with mental illnesses , I pray for you to find peace today in Jesus name I pray, Amen.
@Frashia Wangare,parents always want the best for their children.
Unfortunately upbringing does not come with a Manual and one cannot generalise.
Each child us unique requiring unique care.
What is good for the gender is not necessarily good for the goose.
I apluade Zaria's parents for their courage.
May Zaria overcome.
Hi Baba Zalia, I would recommend Halographic Kinetics To your daughter i have found it quite helpful with depression.
A great father right there....
This is powerful and brave!!
Understanding,...is everything with mental illness. This stigma has to stop...in order for us to understand our children mental states.
The denial of parents to this loud fact, Mental Health, could create a rift with the suffering child to quicken the already worsening condition.
LETS CREATE MENTAL AWARENESS! PARENTS NEED TO UNDERSTAND OUR MENTAL HEALTH AND ITS NEITHER THEIR FAULT NOR OURS.
LETS be woke to MENTAL Health
Well said! It may sound like an oxymoron but the denial comes from a place of love, as a parent you imagine all the possibilities of what your child could become... when faced with such a prognosis, you not only fear for your child and how to love and protect them, but you also start to grieve for the life you had imagined for them.
@ v.Gikonyo congracts for your BOLDNESS to stand with your daughters journey of understing ones'self.
Thank you for having the courage to share your experience publicly. More of us need to do so to combat the stigma. God bless 🙏🏾 ❤
Whats Zaria's Tiktok handle
VG hugging you guys with prayer, our coffee is long overdue.
Thank you so much for this 😭
Thank you for your sharing baba Zari.
Thank you sharing.
Kudos to you Mr Gikonyo. Not many men would speak on such a topic.
Thanks so much for sharing.. I've gone thru similar issues with my daughter for many years.. I'm always doing prayer walks asking God for guidance for her life....
Why in the world do parents of kids who hv exhibited hints of emotional/mental instability proceed to take them abroad for higher learning only for many of them to return days later with a meltdown?? Is image & keeping up with Joneses truly that important?
Why is there stigma when it comes to
‘Mental instability’? Mental Illness is like any other disease,.. (ie diabetes, heart or kidney disease). People with mental illness should be treated like anybody else/being given equal opportunities. These are human beings minding their business & living normal lives despite the stereotype!
@@irenewanguigikonyo5704 with all due respect Ma'am, let's put several things to perspective:
1. Studies have proved that mental health is all health; meaning if one's mental health is compromised, it affects every other area of one's life. Diabetes, Asthma, Hypertension etc don't affect every area of one's life. Which explains why "normal/healthy" looking people, with no physical pain at all commit suicide while others suffering painful cancers, arthritis, kidney failures etc hang on to life till the end. Reason? Bcos mental illness is not like any other illness. It's much more serious.
2. The kids sent abroad for higher learning are mostly below 25 yrs; psychology says the brain's frontal lobe (responsible for decision making) fully matures at 25. Adapting to life abroad is challenging enough for mentally sound adults, very challenging for kids who're mentally sound and for kids who're mentally ill, they totally fall apart or succumb to drugs/alcohol addiction to cope. The reason the university told the father they should hv been notified of Zaria's illness, is bcos of what they've experienced with INTERNATIONAL students with mental illnesses; and that is, that most don't hv skills to adapt in foreign lands & don't make it in those institutions. There hv been reported cases of such students/kids while travelling alone to start school being disoriented when they land & are deported back to Kenya right at the airport! I've never heard though of anyone unable to cope with life abroad cos of Diabetes, Asthma or a physical disability. It's not a case of stigmatizing mental illnesses but appreciating that they're much more serious than other illnesses as they compromise the very organ that controls all bodily functions including patterns of thinking & behavior - the brain.
➡️Therefore, why not enroll your child in our local universities where u can closely monitor his/her progress & where he/she will feel the love & support of family close by in times of emotional distress. It finally worked with Zaria & many more who've returned from abroad. I wasn't suggesting that they shouldn't be given equal learning opportunities like others but taking them abroad is pushing the envelope & more often than not, has disastrous consequences.
@@frashiahwangari2177 the decision to enrol Zaria into a uni abroad involved her psychiatrist who has been part of this journey. Zaria’s dream was to study law abroad and when she got a slot @Liverpool university we were elated. The fact that she had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder wasn’t going to stop her from achieving her dream,, but sadly she fell sick. She wasn’t able to access any psychiatrist/psychologist in the UK, that’s why we made the decision to bring her back home. Stigma surrounding mental illness is huge,
@@irenewanguigikonyo5704 Did the psychiatrist advice on a treatment plan for her when she would occasionally require it in the U.K, i.e ensuring it was available?
@@frashiahwangari2177 I was in contact with my doctor here, I had registered with the national hospital and I was having my therapy sessions just as I would when I was home