Stage 2: Gossip about gossipers. It’s necessary to break from the patterns in social circles, swirling eddies of reverb. Be a solitary person with enough time for reflection. Digest experiences and decide. Vetting friends is slow work. Fewer friends is better. Love the playground rules awareness. I’ve noticed group rules can grab you into places you’d never go individually. Groups with insider/outsider culture are toward the mean side. I prefer to choose my rules and higher ground. I appreciate having friends that are the same recognizing ups and downs and loyalty over the long haul or recognizing the realities of convergence and separation. Venn diagram helps me conceptualize connections and individual differences. Differences are where gossip can occur and they need to be respected vs torn down. Understood vs competed with. I found your chats very helpful, realistic, encouraging and thought-provoking. It represents a lifetime of personal work to get to the point you’ve come to. Thanks for taking time express your thoughts and what’s important to you. And, I appreciate reading comments, too. Very good to find a group of people who think about personal development and who care about the potential of others in a thoughtful, respectful way whether it’s connecting or choosing not to.
If postings on social media are causing you unhappiness, all I can say is drop it. Get off of it. If it doesn't bother you, just move on. Life is far too short to be troubled by these unstable individuals.
Sometimes it’s hard. You know something about someone that’s sooo juicy, but you don’t say it! Yet, sometimes it’s fun knowing something that nobody will ever know except you….
Great topic and wisdom. I’ve learned to either ask the gossiper why this matters to her or just refuse to take the bait and switch the subject. Yes. She is talking badly about you if she’s doing it with others. No room for judgement and wasting my time this way. Sandee
I know someone who gossips to her sisters, her husband and her friends, I know this because she has told me and I have connected the dots when unsure. She even said some very unflattering things about her husband to me, someone she touted was her “best friend”! I found that really upsetting, I’m sure he wouldn’t have liked to know that she was saying such awful things. . I decided I’m not willing to be a friend to her anymore, it’s just too weird to talk to someone who finds delight in repeating conversations to others who weren’t there or invited into the conversation to begin with. I figured anything I said was fr my mouth to the ears of others’. That’s an awful feeling -friendships should be based on mutual trust! She started to make me think of a jester who goes from person to person, looking for the reward of applause. I didn’t say anything to her, I just dropped her. I wonder what others think she says about them when she’s talking to other people?
They seem to do it for attention. I guess there is a real lack of self confidence if they don’t think they are capable of talking about anything else. But their lack of self confidence truly hurts others
I don't have any social media - used to have FB but not anymore. You don't need it. I grew up in the 50s and 60s - it is a choice. I choose to set boundaries and not be around toxic people or situations. There are a lot of things good about the internet but it has caused depersonalized online relatationships, I believe.
Gossiping isn’t beneficial & is petty, but talking about someone with facts can definitely protect people & help others understand who they are dealing with. I was warned about a manager I worked with, people kept telling me watch it, she will turn on you. I did not heed that warning because this woman was so nice to me and never gave me a reason to think otherwise. She was close to another manager and I talked to him and she wanted to know what I said, I told her I wasn’t going to tell her. Her wrath was like nothing I’ve ever experienced, I ended up quitting my job.😂
I always try to avoid these negative type of people. Being positive, upbeat is so much more uplifting! All your points, really So true. I have no time for “drama” anymore. 😂
Yes I lost my mom Kashibaa overseas it is very harder to let her go over the phone she came. to say good bye in my derm and give me hug telling me let me go I am fine that experience will never forget
Gossip is largely seen as a form of female aggression. The objective is character assassination. This type of bullying is meant to isolate and ostracize the person. It speaks to the character of the gossiper and their proclivity to antisocial behavior. Beware of these types, don't be intimidated by them. If they speak about others in an unsavory manner, you too may be caught in their crosshairs. These busybodies have far too much idle time on their hands. Move on and seek others who are worthy of your time, and gifts.
I think what makes me feel uncomfortable about gossip is that it makes me look bored, repressed and untrustworthy. People like to gossip because it’s “spicy” and makes them a part of something secretive. I like to protect my friends privacy and liberty. Gossip takes away peoples freedom - they can’t do what they innocently enjoy doing in case someone perceives it to be gossip worthy.
Someone wise taught me that great people talk about events, topic and ideas; average people talk about things and what they bought at the store and unkind people talk about other people….
Hi Laura, This is such a great topic. I have never been someone to gossip, but I do enjoy listening to my seven sister-in-laws gossip. It is so awful to admit! I love knowing this is going to be a part of our yearly time together. We are so close to each other, and I have never heard anything mean spirited.
Good word about gossip, etc. New to your channel. I’m 70 next year. Life is indeed short, choose the best and, have integrity if you have to move on out of a friend group. I find my peace in the Lord. Sometimes on Christian circles the gossip is shared by way of a prayer request for someone. If you been shared a confidence, keep it to yourself!! 🩷
I read once that Gossip had ancient roots when we were in tribes. It's utilized to help the tribe when others are acting badly so that it helps protect groups. So it will never stop since it does have positive value. Like many whom comment on here we choose often to keep our lives as private as possible to prevent being the target of Gossipers
When i hear gossip i intentionally assume positive intent or express empathy. If someone talks bad about a woman dating for example, I say, gosh it must be hard to be dating at this age. The gossiping person usually stops or finds a better person to tell 😂
The simple things and reinforcement that there are other people that want positivity and positive relationships learn how to achieve it make me thankful I found your channel !
I had to block two Sister in Laws for this very reason. We are all retired and in our late 60s. I dealt with it when they would only talk about me. 🙄🙄🙄🫤. But when they started gossiping about one of my Sons, they crossed the line and now I am done with them. I also gave Parkinson’s so my dopamine is already 60-80% gone. I just don’t have the brain health to deal with them anymore. 😐😵💫
If someone gossips to you….they will gossip about you.
Agree💯
Stage 2: Gossip about gossipers. It’s necessary to break from the patterns in social circles, swirling eddies of reverb. Be a solitary person with enough time for reflection. Digest experiences and decide. Vetting friends is slow work. Fewer friends is better. Love the playground rules awareness. I’ve noticed group rules can grab you into places you’d never go individually. Groups with insider/outsider culture are toward the mean side. I prefer to choose my rules and higher ground. I appreciate having friends that are the same recognizing ups and downs and loyalty over the long haul or recognizing the realities of convergence and separation. Venn diagram helps me conceptualize connections and individual differences. Differences are where gossip can occur and they need to be respected vs torn down. Understood vs competed with. I found your chats very helpful, realistic, encouraging and thought-provoking. It represents a lifetime of personal work to get to the point you’ve come to. Thanks for taking time express your thoughts and what’s important to you. And, I appreciate reading comments, too. Very good to find a group of people who think about personal development and who care about the potential of others in a thoughtful, respectful way whether it’s connecting or choosing not to.
Thanks so much for taking the time to share this!
If postings on social media are causing you unhappiness, all I can say is drop it. Get off of it. If it doesn't bother you, just move on. Life is far too short to be troubled by these unstable individuals.
Amen, and choose to follow something like this instead!
I am a gossiper, I am not proud of it. I just feel bored and it’s something to do. I will keep working on controlling it and eliminating it. 😢
Sometimes it’s hard. You know something about someone that’s sooo juicy, but you don’t say it! Yet, sometimes it’s fun knowing something that nobody will ever know except you….
I think we’ve all got a bit of it. I like to think I’m a nice gossiper🤷🏻♀️
Nice gossiping can be very powerful. People can associate the sweet stories about someone else with you (when it’s sincere of course)
Agree💯
Great topic and wisdom. I’ve learned to either ask the gossiper why this matters to her or just refuse to take the bait and switch the subject. Yes. She is talking badly about you if she’s doing it with others. No room for judgement and wasting my time this way.
Sandee
Thanks so much for taking the time to share.
I know someone who gossips to her sisters, her husband and her friends, I know this because she has told me and I have connected the dots when unsure. She even said some very unflattering things about her husband to me, someone she touted was her “best friend”! I found that really upsetting, I’m sure he wouldn’t have liked to know that she was saying such awful things. . I decided I’m not willing to be a friend to her anymore, it’s just too weird to talk to someone who finds delight in repeating conversations to others who weren’t there or invited into the conversation to begin with. I figured anything I said was fr my mouth to the ears of others’. That’s an awful feeling -friendships should be based on mutual trust! She started to make me think of a jester who goes from person to person, looking for the reward of applause. I didn’t say anything to her, I just dropped her. I wonder what others think she says about them when she’s talking to other people?
They seem to do it for attention. I guess there is a real lack of self confidence if they don’t think they are capable of talking about anything else. But their lack of self confidence truly hurts others
Thank you Laura
... I'm 66 and enjoy your videos ❤
Thanks so much! Glad you found the channel
I don't have any social media - used to have FB but not anymore. You don't need it. I grew up in the 50s and 60s - it is a choice. I choose to set boundaries and not be around toxic people or situations. There are a lot of things good about the internet but it has caused depersonalized online relatationships, I believe.
Agree💯and so addictive!
Gossiping isn’t beneficial & is petty, but talking about someone with facts can definitely protect people & help others understand who they are dealing with. I was warned about a manager I worked with, people kept telling me watch it, she will turn on you. I did not heed that warning because this woman was so nice to me and never gave me a reason to think otherwise. She was close to another manager and I talked to him and she wanted to know what I said, I told her I wasn’t going to tell her. Her wrath was like nothing I’ve ever experienced, I ended up quitting my job.😂
Yikes! Thanks for sharing
I always try to avoid these negative type of people. Being positive, upbeat is so much more uplifting! All your points, really So true. I have no time for “drama” anymore. 😂
It’s exhausting !!
Yes I lost my mom Kashibaa overseas it is very harder to let her go over the phone she came. to say good bye in my derm and give me hug telling me let me go I am fine that experience will never forget
I’m so sorry💔 but how wonderful that she came to you in your dream.
Gossip is largely seen as a form of female aggression. The objective is character assassination. This type of bullying is meant to isolate and ostracize the person. It speaks to the character of the gossiper and their proclivity to antisocial behavior. Beware of these types, don't be intimidated by them. If they speak about others in an unsavory manner, you too may be caught in their crosshairs. These busybodies have far too much idle time on their hands. Move on and seek others who are worthy of your time, and gifts.
Agree💯
I think what makes me feel uncomfortable about gossip is that it makes me look bored, repressed and untrustworthy. People like to gossip because it’s “spicy” and makes them a part of something secretive. I like to protect my friends privacy and liberty. Gossip takes away peoples freedom - they can’t do what they innocently enjoy doing in case someone perceives it to be gossip worthy.
Agree💯
Someone wise taught me that great people talk about events, topic and ideas; average people talk about things and what they bought at the store and unkind people talk about other people….
Hello I just found you to on You Tube. Love your conversations.
Glad you found me!! Welcome
Hi Laura, This is such a great topic. I have never been someone to gossip, but I do enjoy listening to my seven sister-in-laws gossip. It is so awful to admit! I love knowing this is going to be a part of our yearly time together. We are so close to each other, and I have never heard anything mean spirited.
Gossip can be fun!! How wonderful to have seven sister-in-laws that you enjoy so much❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Loving your videos and also really enjoying your book. I'm 62 and can relate so well.
Thank you so much for buying my book. Love to hear what you think❤️
Good word about gossip, etc. New to your channel. I’m 70 next year. Life is indeed short, choose the best and, have integrity if you have to move on out of a friend group. I find my peace in the Lord. Sometimes on Christian circles the gossip is shared by way of a prayer request for someone. If you been shared a confidence, keep it to yourself!! 🩷
Glad you found the channel!
I read once that Gossip had ancient roots when we were in tribes. It's utilized to help the tribe when others are acting badly so that it helps protect groups. So it will never stop since it does have positive value. Like many whom comment on here we choose often to keep our lives as private as possible to prevent being the target of Gossipers
That’s so interesting - thanks for sharing. So, basically we need to keep our life private, because it’s in our DNA 🧬 as a human race to gossip.
I agree, it will never stop.
@@MsActor2009 Yes it's a tribal phenomenon to help protect the group
I think it sabotages an individual though and makes someone who’s a little weak feel apart of something big.
@@MsActor2009 That's a good point. A gossiping person also isn't has trusted so much
When i hear gossip i intentionally assume positive intent or express empathy. If someone talks bad about a woman dating for example, I say, gosh it must be hard to be dating at this age. The gossiping person usually stops or finds a better person to tell 😂
💯excellent!!
The simple things and reinforcement that there are other people that want positivity and positive relationships learn how to achieve it make me thankful I found your channel !
I’m glad too. Thanks!
BTW- your skin looks amazing!
Thank you so much.
My mom has beautiful skin at 89, thinking I may have gotten lucky and have her genes.
Hello Mary 🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
I had to block two Sister in Laws for this very reason. We are all retired and in our late 60s. I dealt with it when they would only talk about me. 🙄🙄🙄🫤. But when they started gossiping about one of my Sons, they crossed the line and now I am done with them. I also gave Parkinson’s so my dopamine is already 60-80% gone. I just don’t have the brain health to deal with them anymore. 😐😵💫
Good for you for putting yourself first
Great video! ❤❤❤