Accept what you can't change, and change what you can't accept. Thank you Dr Magee! I'll reference back to this video until I fully understand all of the wisdom and insight you've given us!
Hi, I am a survivor of narcissistic abuse. I have been in a narcissistic abuse from my partner for 18 years. I have suffered parental alienation, I have never realized when I was in a relationship that what is going on with me and until I am out of it. It was such a traumatic and abusive relationship that was a total confusion to me. My kids have suffered a lot. I am healing now and I am happy that I am honest to my self and has accepted the reality. I am facing the reality with of course my own regrets, bad decisions but also I am believing in my self that I am out of it and that abuse is no more in my life any more. This topic is something which has a healing power and if somebody really wants a change and make their lives different can definitely get benefit out of this video.
Thank you for talking about this, I intend to share it with others. It reminds me of the Scripture, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not unto your own understanding; acknowledge Him in all your ways, and He will make your paths straight." I need to trust in God and faithfully endure (as we are encouraged to do in James 1), instead of torturing myself by being disgruntled and allowing myself to be overly stressed and anxious about things I cannot control. Also when it comes to interpersonal relationships, as you mentioned. I want to focus on all the things I can be grateful for.
I do believe that hurt and anger can foment healthy change and action. I tend to turn it in on myself which I am grappling with Thanks for your time and insight!!!!
Writing thoughts. Looking at them later. Even years later. I see I have changed. Some how writing feelings thoughts legitimizes them. No one has to read them but acknowledging my reality and recording it is so helpful! Maybe this is elementary for most of you but I do need to remind myself of these things!
My 78 year old mother is in the current state of losing her mind and dying the death of a thousand cuts. She stayed with my abusive covert narcissist father for 58 years, hoping and praying and waiting for him to change, and being in the constant state of disappointment. She turned her control attempts towards everyone else in her life, thus alienating friends and family that she tried to change and force her will upon. She has become a nasty, bitter, angry person. I will not be her scapegoat. I will not be her punching bag.
They’re more like wile e coyote than Hannibal lectur…thank you for this!! The fear I’ve had under the Hannibal paradigm has been utterly paralyzing…but you are SO correct …he is really wile e coyote, a cartoon on so many levels!
Thank you...perfect topic and description for me today. Very very helpful. Lately my little mantra, to shift focus, has been "Leave that alone and Keep it moving."
Very good explanation of radical acceptable. Yes, it is the most painful thing I have ever had to do but the alternative is worse. Thank you for taking your time educate us!!
I feel like my inner child will wait forever for my mother to have an epiphany so i need to talk to my inner child. Maybe i can peesuade her to give up
Great channel and topics you have, glad I found you, I will watch some more and maybe come up with some comments or questions. May I ask: Are you a Scotsman? Love that accent. I am German but was in Britain many times. Love it. Greetings from Europe!!
I always feel I'm being kind to myself if I buy myself blackberries. I also like dark chocolate because I can manage to have just 2 squares. These are treats that aren't damaging to the health.
We think we are dealing with Hannibal lector but it’s more like Wile E Coyote 😅👏🙌 keep them coming Darren ❤ would be great to hear more on dealing with emotionally immature persons/ family members - Passive aggressive/ insulting undertones - almost under the radar so you’re left not sure how to respond 🤔 ultimately I think they want you to flip & be the asshole 😆
But if I radically accepted my marriage when I was in it i would have never got the guts and motivation to leave…so where is the line, because I don’t think it’s ppls lack of understanding of this phrase on “changing the things we can and accept the rest” I’m pretty sure 100 percent of ppl would agree with that, the problem is knowing which things are possible to change even, or which things to accept, that’s where the water gets muddy…
For me, just before I left, what I radically accepted was that I had made a huge mistake that could *not* be fixed, and that if I left that mistake would be ''publicised'' to all and sundry. So that's what I needed to accept. I also had to face that I'd probably be single forever. I was, I am. But it's ok, I really do accept that. Find it hard to accept my parents' behaviour to me, but that's always going to be harder. You can forgive yourself eventually for picking a really bad man, but you cannot order new parents online.
It doesn’t always catch up with people, but the key is to no longer be concerned about that.
Accept what you can't change, and change what you can't accept. Thank you Dr Magee! I'll reference back to this video until I fully understand all of the wisdom and insight you've given us!
Thank you so much ! I am so glad I found this video. ❤❤❤❤
Hi, I am a survivor of narcissistic abuse. I have been in a narcissistic abuse from my partner for 18 years. I have suffered parental alienation, I have never realized when I was in a relationship that what is going on with me and until I am out of it. It was such a traumatic and abusive relationship that was a total confusion to me. My kids have suffered a lot. I am healing now and I am happy that I am honest to my self and has accepted the reality. I am facing the reality with of course my own regrets, bad decisions but also I am believing in my self that I am out of it and that abuse is no more in my life any more. This topic is something which has a healing power and if somebody really wants a change and make their lives different can definitely get benefit out of this video.
🌱🌏💚 Thank you Darren and community.
This is so helpful. You wise, kind and generous thank you ❤️👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Thank you for talking about this, I intend to share it with others. It reminds me of the Scripture, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not unto your own understanding; acknowledge Him in all your ways, and He will make your paths straight." I need to trust in God and faithfully endure (as we are encouraged to do in James 1), instead of torturing myself by being disgruntled and allowing myself to be overly stressed and anxious about things I cannot control. Also when it comes to interpersonal relationships, as you mentioned. I want to focus on all the things I can be grateful for.
We love a tangent!
Darren, Your content is GOLDEN! Thank you so much.
I do believe that hurt and anger can foment healthy change and action. I tend to turn it in on myself which I am grappling with
Thanks for your time and insight!!!!
Writing thoughts. Looking at them later. Even years later. I see I have changed. Some how writing feelings thoughts legitimizes them. No one has to read them but acknowledging my reality and recording it is so helpful! Maybe this is elementary for most of you but I do need to remind myself of these things!
Excellent video extremely helpful Thanks again for your helpful videos
My 78 year old mother is in the current state of losing her mind and dying the death of a thousand cuts. She stayed with my abusive covert narcissist father for 58 years, hoping and praying and waiting for him to change, and being in the constant state of disappointment. She turned her control attempts towards everyone else in her life, thus alienating friends and family that she tried to change and force her will upon. She has become a nasty, bitter, angry person. I will not be her scapegoat. I will not be her punching bag.
❤
I need this one. I will listen to it again.
They’re more like wile e coyote than Hannibal lectur…thank you for this!! The fear I’ve had under the Hannibal paradigm has been utterly paralyzing…but you are SO correct …he is really wile e coyote, a cartoon on so many levels!
To try to change how you think about painful situation-thank you. (Love your dry sense of humor, btw.)
Thank you...perfect topic and description for me today. Very very helpful. Lately my little mantra, to shift focus, has been "Leave that alone and Keep it moving."
I love your tangents. Keep em coming Darren 🤣😇
Thank you for your helpful video’s
Listening again
Very good explanation of radical acceptable. Yes, it is the most painful thing I have ever had to do but the alternative is worse. Thank you for taking your time educate us!!
I feel like my inner child will wait forever for my mother to have an epiphany so i need to talk to my inner child. Maybe i can peesuade her to give up
Yes,accept the reality,not the fake.Reality has the backbone .pseudo reality, just like a dusty cloud. It fades.
Similar to the serenity prayer of AlAnon ✨
Great channel and topics you have, glad I found you, I will watch some more and maybe come up with some comments or questions. May I ask: Are you a Scotsman? Love that accent. I am German but was in Britain many times. Love it. Greetings from Europe!!
Thank I’m glad you find the content interesting. I’m from Northern Ireland
Thank you and all the best for your work, you help to raise and create consciousness, and in a very calm and competent way@@DarrenFMagee
I always feel I'm being kind to myself if I buy myself blackberries. I also like dark chocolate because I can manage to have just 2 squares. These are treats that aren't damaging to the health.
I understand the accent comment. I don't hear mine until its pointed out :)
Hi Darren your audio keeps breaking up .
We think we are dealing with Hannibal lector but it’s more like Wile E Coyote 😅👏🙌 keep them coming Darren ❤ would be great to hear more on dealing with emotionally immature persons/ family members - Passive aggressive/ insulting undertones - almost under the radar so you’re left not sure how to respond 🤔 ultimately I think they want you to flip & be the asshole 😆
You're right 100%
But if I radically accepted my marriage when I was in it i would have never got the guts and motivation to leave…so where is the line, because I don’t think it’s ppls lack of understanding of this phrase on “changing the things we can and accept the rest” I’m pretty sure 100 percent of ppl would agree with that, the problem is knowing which things are possible to change even, or which things to accept, that’s where the water gets muddy…
You accepted that it was so bad you had to leave
For me, just before I left, what I radically accepted was that I had made a huge mistake that could *not* be fixed, and that if I left that mistake would be ''publicised'' to all and sundry. So that's what I needed to accept. I also had to face that I'd probably be single forever. I was, I am. But it's ok, I really do accept that. Find it hard to accept my parents' behaviour to me, but that's always going to be harder. You can forgive yourself eventually for picking a really bad man, but you cannot order new parents online.
You accepted that your bad marriage wasn’t going to get better and then took action. That’s what he’s talking about.
Very helpful. Thank you
This message came at the perfect moment in my journey .. 🤲🏼🌅🩵🫂💯