The Ugliest Most Useless Tank Ever Made

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  • Опубліковано 28 вер 2024
  • New Zealand, 1941. With World War 2 well underway, a top team of government officials are gathered in the picturesque South Island countryside, chattering with excitement as they eagerly await the revelation of the nation’s brand new secret weapon: a fearsome tank designed to crush any Japanese attempt at invading its shores. Among their number, the man behind the machine, Minister of Public Works Bob Semple, promises it will be like nothing they have ever seen before.
    And he’s right. An audible hush descends over the group as, suddenly, the strangest-looking armored vehicle they have ever seen emerges from the hillside. Trundling along at a painstaking 5 miles per hour comes an industrial tractor crudely covered with what appears to be corrugated roofing panels, looking more like a school project than a beast of war - it doesn’t even have a cannon.
    Awkwardly grinding to a complete halt just to change gears, the 12-foot-tall monstrosity then wobbles onwards for a few more yards before hitting a bumpy patch, which sends her top-heavy structure crashing to the ground.
    The silence is broken by a combination of angry outbursts and mocking laughter as the crowd turns to Semple for an explanation. Yet when he asks if anyone has any better ideas, everything soon goes quiet again. The Japanese army could arrive at any moment, and his tank was all New Zealand had…
    -
    As images and footage of actual events are not always available, Dark Docs sometimes utilizes similar historical images and footage for dramatic effect. I do my best to keep it as visually accurate as possible. All content on Dark Docs is researched, produced, and presented in historical context for educational purposes. We are history enthusiasts and are not always experts in some areas, so please don't hesitate to reach out to us with corrections, additional information, or new ideas. -

КОМЕНТАРІ • 85

  • @jokodihaynes419
    @jokodihaynes419 3 місяці тому +20

    Desperate times call for desperate measures

  • @xinixini1826
    @xinixini1826 3 місяці тому +26

    Don't mock tractors without guns. Killdozer was a marvel.

    • @McPh1741
      @McPh1741 3 місяці тому +1

      The YT channel PoPoMedic did a real good video of that incident and what led up to it. It’s short and worth watching

    • @ianray8823
      @ianray8823 3 місяці тому +1

      Marvin's Marvel

  • @cantybrad
    @cantybrad 3 місяці тому +8

    once the japanese saw that new zealand had the bob semple they just turned around and went back, was no point even trying to invade.

  • @robertwhatley9861
    @robertwhatley9861 3 місяці тому +7

    He was the O.G. inspiration for the A-team

  • @kansascityshuffle8526
    @kansascityshuffle8526 3 місяці тому +5

    One fateful battle going another way a short time in the future and this contraption would probably have seen action. I don’t blame mr. Semple for trying in this situation.

  • @clanksshekels
    @clanksshekels 3 місяці тому +16

    The tank which was so terrifying it single handedly made the Japanese cancel their invasion of Oceania.
    Semple-Fi.

    • @Itchyknee88
      @Itchyknee88 3 місяці тому +2

      “Semple-Fi” 😂👌

  • @mirandahotspring4019
    @mirandahotspring4019 3 місяці тому +7

    Yeah, but it worked. The Japanese didn't invade!

  • @stellamcwick8455
    @stellamcwick8455 3 місяці тому +3

    To be fair to bob, it’s not like they had a whole lot of better options available.

  • @NelsonZAPTM
    @NelsonZAPTM 3 місяці тому

    The greatest tank ever built.
    Single handedly deterred the Japanese war machine from invading without firing a shot.
    Bloody legend mate.

  • @bukster1
    @bukster1 3 місяці тому +1

    I knew this had to be about the Bob Semple Tank the moment I saw the headline. New Zealand used to have a 'Can do' or 'Number 8 fencing wire' attitude which we have lost to some extent over the decades. This was a good example of kiwis trying their best. Perhaps building rocket launchers might have been a better use of resources, but this tank is a part of NZ history.

  • @DrivermanO
    @DrivermanO 3 місяці тому +1

    I think the Tank Museum did a tank chat on this.

  • @TexasNationalist1836
    @TexasNationalist1836 3 місяці тому +11

    I think you mean greatest tank ever built

  • @roydrink
    @roydrink 3 місяці тому +2

    I can’t wait to see this in Girls und Panzers…

  • @waynesmith2287
    @waynesmith2287 3 місяці тому +1

    This type of thinking from New Zealanders lead to things like Rocketlab.

  • @Itchyknee88
    @Itchyknee88 3 місяці тому +1

    I hope in reflection that Bob Semple is highly thought of in NZ.

    • @kiwibonsai2355
      @kiwibonsai2355 3 місяці тому +1

      It's called the New Zealand "Number 8 wire" mentality.
      The Worlds Fastest Indian is a great movie of what Kiwis get up to in their sheds, then there's John Britten another fine example.

  • @Btester2
    @Btester2 3 місяці тому +11

    Just because you are unique doesnt mean you are useful.

    • @tHEHEAd1138
      @tHEHEAd1138 3 місяці тому +4

      How many 20 somethings need to hear that! 😅

    • @sgtjohnnywallsmith8720
      @sgtjohnnywallsmith8720 3 місяці тому +3

      ​@tHEHEAd1138 , exactly right! That would make them think, " maybe I'm not the special little angel my mama always said I was"!

    • @SashaTheDog
      @SashaTheDog 3 місяці тому +1

      If I was infantry with no armored support in a tight city setting seing that thing even when stationary shooting at me would be scary. As well with the all arround BREN gun protection making infantry attacks harder.
      It would actually have been a good moveable weapons platform for urban warfare to some extent.

  • @Bonserak23
    @Bonserak23 3 місяці тому +1

    This should be in war thunder.

  • @rogergoodman8665
    @rogergoodman8665 3 місяці тому

    Hey, at least he tried. I admire that.

  • @gregatkinson7276
    @gregatkinson7276 3 місяці тому +1

    Shame this is only a military channel. Like that is the only dark that ever happened.

  • @clearcreek69
    @clearcreek69 3 місяці тому +1

    Looks like a garden shed

  • @stevenclaeys6252
    @stevenclaeys6252 3 місяці тому

    Something is always better than nothing.

  • @philprice3870
    @philprice3870 3 місяці тому +1

    Something is always better than Nothing !.

    • @Farquad76.547
      @Farquad76.547 3 місяці тому

      More dignity in doing nothing to be honest.

    • @JohnSmith-pl2bk
      @JohnSmith-pl2bk 3 місяці тому

      @@Farquad76.547
      It boosts morale to do SOMETHING.
      I mean the next thing was constructing a machine gun from a .303 bolt action rifle...the Charlton...
      and they made 1500 of those..because it worked!
      YT vids on that...

  • @CameronMcCreary
    @CameronMcCreary 3 місяці тому +1

    That's a gag for a tank! 😅

  • @trickydicky2908
    @trickydicky2908 3 місяці тому

    Reminds me of the 'Killdozer'.

  • @FrankOdonnell-ej3hd
    @FrankOdonnell-ej3hd 3 місяці тому +1

    well the waffle armor design is eye-catching too bad they didn't keep just one it could have been popular as an interesting modern art installation⚛😀

  • @ethimself5064
    @ethimself5064 3 місяці тому

    Yep, weirder than weird

  • @Averagevenator
    @Averagevenator 3 місяці тому +1

    How dare you insulting him so badly god damn😭

  • @Sm00th-0perator
    @Sm00th-0perator 3 місяці тому +1

    T-14 Armata?

  • @tachyon8317
    @tachyon8317 3 місяці тому

    I dunno, one of those weapon sim channels did a video about the BS, and showed it could stop an entire Sherman tank being fired at it traveling at hundreds of KM/h. I'm sure the video being released on April 1st is merely a coincidence for such a scientific video.

  • @alastairduncan1944
    @alastairduncan1944 3 місяці тому

    We done what we could woth not much! Good old kiwi ingenuity. We still dont have much better today 😬

  • @renewebsdale2719
    @renewebsdale2719 3 місяці тому

    great vid. something from nothing. better than nothing

  • @auro1986
    @auro1986 3 місяці тому

    who bothers going down south for a little island, so why not make useless tank

  • @barrymccokiner7559
    @barrymccokiner7559 3 місяці тому

    Australia built its own tank. It was the sentinel tank. The AC4 sentinel was a great tank.

  • @brennanleadbetter9708
    @brennanleadbetter9708 3 місяці тому

    HERESY!

  • @Mind-Crush
    @Mind-Crush 3 місяці тому

    Bob semple is a tankette not a tank smh

  • @stevem3605
    @stevem3605 3 місяці тому

    It’s almost cartoonish.

  • @mahbubsamad9006
    @mahbubsamad9006 3 місяці тому

    Homemade tank

  • @olivercooney6645
    @olivercooney6645 3 місяці тому

    Waste of a tractor

  • @mugwump-bk7os
    @mugwump-bk7os 3 місяці тому +1

    Looks like what the russian tanks in Ukraine have devolved into...😂

  • @AndyShell
    @AndyShell 3 місяці тому

    If you cant manufacture or import the raw metal needed....its pointless to build. They couldnt ship in from Australia or usa? Obv a risk uboat sinking the ship but still

    • @waynesmith2287
      @waynesmith2287 3 місяці тому

      It was said in this video Australia didn't have any as well. So New Zealand once again ahead of Australia.

  • @rc59191
    @rc59191 3 місяці тому

    Ughhhh im so tired of the memes around this thing.

  • @shindogoo1899
    @shindogoo1899 3 місяці тому +10

    Anything is better than nothing

  • @lastguy8613
    @lastguy8613 3 місяці тому +6

    Thanks for surpringly in depth video of the Semple tank, explaining the whys and hows rather than just mocking it.
    At the time NZ had a population of around 1.6 million and no heavy industry capable of even building a car, let alone a tank and still dosnt lol.

  • @Espo11B
    @Espo11B 3 місяці тому +19

    How dare he build a tank without a cannon when he had no way of getting his hands on a cannon! His country needed a tank. He built the best tank he could with what he had. He stepped up when no one else would.

    • @tomkinstle1925
      @tomkinstle1925 3 місяці тому +1

      Had Hitler prioritized a nuclear weapon, instead of numerous other projects that were dead ends, the Germans could of easily beat the US to a bomb.
      Ukraine today though is an excellent example of asymmetrical warfare.
      Also due to the mountainous terrain of New Zealand they had a natural advantage....but not with tanks.

  • @commonsensegunlaw
    @commonsensegunlaw 3 місяці тому +4

    I find him very smart and a person who did his best with what he had, "Adapt, overcome and persevere"....

  • @davidhudson5452
    @davidhudson5452 3 місяці тому +3

    He tried better than sitting on your hand

  • @kiwibonsai2355
    @kiwibonsai2355 3 місяці тому +1

    I think of New Zealander Earnest Ratherford and what he came up with for WW2 victory.
    ✌️❤️🇳🇿

  • @devo1977s
    @devo1977s 3 місяці тому +1

    Too bad Marvin Heemeyer wasn't born in New Zealand back in the 1900s, he would have shown them how to build a tank off a dozer platform

  • @sirskidney7998
    @sirskidney7998 3 місяці тому +1

    Fascinating story and great video. Many thanks 🙏

  • @justme_gb
    @justme_gb 3 місяці тому +1

    No one was laughing about a Komatsu years later.

  • @joshuabessire9169
    @joshuabessire9169 3 місяці тому

    The Soviets built something similar called the "Ni" tank. Not only did Japan never invade Crimea, but they managed to surround and capture the German 8th Shrubbery Division.

  • @spacewater7
    @spacewater7 3 місяці тому

    Instead of this of course, they could've just stolen some Italian tanks. Or invested in a few hundred Boys AT Rifles. Strikes me that this is definitely an Emperor Has No Clothes situation.

  • @robertshields2066
    @robertshields2066 3 місяці тому

    Well laughter can be very disarming and let's face the Japanese would be rolling on the ground in fits of laughter, making easy targets.

  • @TheRealBelisariusCawl
    @TheRealBelisariusCawl 3 місяці тому

    If you’ve ever been shot at, you’ll appreciate how useful a rolling bulletproof shed would be

  • @olivercooney6645
    @olivercooney6645 3 місяці тому

    I cycle back from work at 4am at 12mph

  • @mattdale4340
    @mattdale4340 3 місяці тому

    tka all the way.if ya know ya know

  • @michaelhowell2326
    @michaelhowell2326 3 місяці тому

    You don't get your audience one damn bit, do you?

  • @KrzysztofDanielCiba
    @KrzysztofDanielCiba 3 місяці тому

    Original killdozer.

  • @monomarino5349
    @monomarino5349 3 місяці тому

    Some say that New Zealand still uses these tanktractors.

  • @gazmach1685
    @gazmach1685 3 місяці тому

    I expected to see Abbott

  • @wiiztec
    @wiiztec 3 місяці тому

    I don't know why but the thumbail gave me the impression that this thing was fucking gigantic

  • @larryjohnson7591
    @larryjohnson7591 3 місяці тому

    I love the spirit of the thing. Military people will always say that we can do everything with nothing. He made something work with what he had. I am sure he could have built a beautiful tank if he had the equipment and the parts to do it with.