Do you ever have a problem with saying too much? Like when you are having a conversation and you feel like you have to say everything that is on your mind.
Also, with more complex decisions I often don’t know whether I should say/do something or not, even when I take the time to think about it. It can be v stressful as I usually end up spending way too long on trying to figure it out😩😩 but tbh I can’t even pick what I want to eat lol
If I had a nickel for every person who told me I needed a thicker skin, Jeff Bezos would look like a homeless guy on Rodeo drive getting arrested for loitering compared to me
I love that, being ADHD herself, she knows exactly how to capture our (ADD/ADHD folks) attention by putting constantly moving objects, flashing lights, entertaining animations, and using a faster rhythm of speech. Am I still distracted? Yes. But am I LESS distracted? Also, yes. 😊
i never noticed this but now i'm realizing that this is exactly why i can watch these videos with only having to bounce my leg to keep myself stimulated and mostly focused
I initially thought it was too much/quick and a bit annoying but the more I watch them, the more I realise that I'm less distracted haha. I still read comments (because the visuals distract me from her spoken information) while watching the video but I'm listening better lol.
As an ADHD brain who used to edit videos a lot (and HATED the process), I can see adding novel edits to keep oneself from going mad. And then it just so happens to entertain viewers as well 😅
When I get mad, I can't stop being mad... Even when I'm fully aware that I'm overreacting...And I cry like two three times a day sometimes. I've been told I'm oversensitive a million times.
I had this problem big time. Jesus leads me to forgive and he has changed my heart to not be angry. Jesus answers prayers that are His will. I suggest seeking Him out.
Making decisions or choosing is also hard with ADHD...because you're considering all options including variables, while fearing the people around you are getting the impression you don't know what you want out of life!
Same here. It must be why I so strongly indentified with the character Hamlet when I read the play in high school. His indecisiveness and ability to see validity in both sides of an argument is soooooo relatable.
the way my neurotypical family sees my feelings sad = crybaby angry = giving too much attitude disgust = picky anxious = overly sensitive depressed = lazy happy = overly annoying upset = even more overly sensitive no matter what im feeling its either too much or im just being week and its really hard to express myself
I know what you mean.... my whole life I've been told I'm "too ----" too much, too loud, too touchy, too defensive, too emotional, too overbearing, whatever... If I ever HAVE a problem with someone, I'm told I'm just bringing them drama.
I'm a clinical child psychologist. Your videos are painfully correct and professional. Just stumbled upon them two hours ago. Will recommend them in Tuesday's class.
I never knew emotions were tied to ADHD as I’m always over sensitive and will cry if my ponytail isn’t working out after 5 tries or if a teacher is disappointed in me (especially if it’s one I like) and I always get super excited and I get overly affectionate and hug everyone
Hey me toooooo😂 love my brain but I also get why I’m crying because I feel so understood and I just started really watching her videos, learning so much about others and most importantly myself :)
Thank you for this. I’m a parent of a child with ADHD. You’ve helped me to understand what my child is going through. He’s 10 yrs old and has what I used to call temper tantrums. Now I know it’s emotional disregulation. I’m really ashamed that i didn’t quite understand. But now that I do, I can have better conversations with his Psychiatrist and Counselor for ways I can help my child. Your channel has taught me so much.
Thanks for taking the time to understand him! It’s been 13 years since my diagnosis and my parents still don’t take it seriously or know anything about it. 😵💫
Given how often adhd symptoms are interpreted as moral failings and how often it's genetic, the two go together. When you have a mother with emotional dysregulation, walk into a room that a hyperactive child or two have destroyed, possibly injured themselves and definitely not sorted their laundry, screaming is a likely, and therefore, the trauma.
@Rebecca Holcombe Absolutely!!! And if your mother had anxiety problems you can inherit that in utero. Hard for you or your mom to cope with each other. Since we both had fight or flight we sort of withdrew from one another, so no affection, which doesn’t help either.
@@rebeccaholcombe9043 I know this sequence of events well. I'm blessed to have a family that's grown away from it. Mostly. Some still need to acknowledge they have unmet issues in the first place. 😅😵💫
My day yesterday: I got yelled at by some Karen and ended up having a mental breakdown in the middle of the store. After that, I was so upset I curled up in bed and hugged my stuffed sheep for a while. When I felt good enough to do something again, I saw on my phone that Karolina Źebrowska had reposted my video and I spent the rest of the night jumping up and down with excitement. Emotional dysregulation at its worst and best.
I was surprised to see a comment mention Karolina, so I looked at your page to see what video you might have meant, and I found out that I've actually already seen it and thought it was hilarious (assuming it was the P&P as meme mom one). Also, I saw that you posted a video about Ever After the Musical! I never see it getting much recognition, but I've watched the official videos of that show so many times since I discovered it a few years ago--- especially this past week or so since Alliance Theatre posted a clip from the actual show of Sierra Boggess and Tim Rogan performing Cousin's Cousin. Sorry for such a long comment, I just got really excited about all the coincidences involved with finding a person in the comment section with whom I share several interests. Anyway, congrats on Karolina reposting your video!
This adds to understanding my mis diagnosis as a kid. ADHD and PTSD coupled with being a girl... and bam! I got stuck with the bipolar label. So glad I found this. Thank you!
my parents literally don’t believe that i have adhd even though my doctor, therapist, & school counselor say i do, then they get mad when i over react or fidget with something
They probably just don't want to acknowledge what does not fit in their perception of the world or you. Or maybe they don't understand what ADHD is? I had similar situations. And I think its impossible to change those peoples minds, unless they want it themselves.
My parents ignored mine my whole life because my brother had it, and they wanted one “normal” child, so while my brother got 5 different evaluations, I didn’t get any and it’s making it nearly impossible for me at 25 to get a formal diagnosis, and medication. My counselor is helping me with my complex trauma so it doesn’t come up as much but she does agree that I need to be medicated for my ADHD and it’s triggering anxiety and depression occasionally and we need to nip it in the bud. What was most heartbreaking was finding 1st and 3rd grade report cards last week with teachers concerned about my constant talking and lack of attention and work efficiency, they said I loved to talk but I lacked social skills like talking at the appropriate time or sharing appropriate things. My mom recently said “you weren’t a bad kid, just lazy, messy, and talkative, you basically haven’t shut up since you were born”, but now it’s almost cost me my marriage and I’m barely functional on my own without my husband holding my hand through everything. It’s not fair to him, my daughter and I. You’re not alone. It’s frustrating because my brother who has it severely now has a masters and is happily married because he got treatment and a formal diagnosis and I’m struggling with everything even getting a formal diagnosis because my parents ignored mine.
Growing up I was never really allowed to have strong emotions because my sister was such a handful that I was shut up every time I tried to speak up. Of course I still had these emotions but not being able to verbalize them or even let them show through body language meant a LOT of suppressing, and now I have a really hard time expressing my emotions to anyone cause I’m afraid they’ll think I’m “too much”
Yeah, that's me. Go slowly, give little bits of yourself at a time, you'll gradually become more comfortable expressing yourself. Also, write. As a great psychiatrist said, there's no real difference between writing and thinking. You'll learn to think more clearly by writing your thoughts.
Totally same comings from toxic manipulation family now be out of that toxic family live own my own without family help be adult and in relationship and have hard time expressing feelings let alone give him need that he need I don’t know but give him best even tho I know I feel like I’m not give him love but try do best.
This is crazy. I get so unmotivated and depressed over it then become so exciteable and happy, I thought I might be bipolar... But I don't think my joy is mania. I had no idea there was such a strong connection between emotional dysregulation and ADHD. Your videos are really helping me understand ADHD better and helping me understand that I'm not crazy or psychotic. More people need to know about this!!
Ohhh this is definitely me. I have a tendency to just start crying at even the smallest critic or frustration or during a 'heated discussion,' and other people bringing attention to it just makes it worse and it's very difficult to stop. Really embarrassing when it happens in public....
As a child I used to cry because of everyone who disagreed with me and I was so ashamed of it that I trained myself to stop crying infront if people. Now I can't even cry with my best friend, even though I have the strong urge to do so. I wish I could get rid of this mechanism. It can be useful sometimes but honestly I would have needed people to notice that I'm broken at some point of my life. Anyways, try to always have your people that you can cry with. It's important.
this. and like, I'm not even that upset or anything, but as soon as I start to feel even just *slightly* upset the waterworks just can't stop leaking. and trying to explain to others "hey, I'm not actually that upset it's just a thing that happens sometimes" through choked sobs and sniffles isn't exactly convincing........
@@EeveeFlipnoteStudios woa I have the exact same issue. Inside I'm rationally processing what the other person said (either criticism or much-wanted approval) and then it just becomes a whole embarrassing situation for them when I'm trying to explain that no I'm not some thin skinned princess who can't handle constructive criticism - that this is a normal thing that happens and please ignore it. But then their face as they look at me. And the frustration that I can't stop crying just making me cry more. Only option is just to bolt out of there, try and calm down and carry on like nothing happened.
O0o0o0o0o0oooo so that's what it was. Emotional Dysregulation. It's amazing how empowering it is to actually find the name for something that you go through.
Totally! My fiancée has ADHD and today had a massive bad mood / emotional dip triggered by a really small thing. It was so incredible to see that this video was uploaded, and to suddenly have a name for what he was going through. It was wonderful to be able to say “I know this is not your fault” and have science to back it up!!! THANK YOU Jessica and Edward for sharing the knowledge for all us Brains and Hearts 👍😊💚 you are both awesome!!
CutiePieZapZap anyone else got a a radiating headache of contraction emerging in the head each time he or she has to stop to say hello to someone ? How can I stop projecting that?
I can't believe it took me so long to find this channel. I was diagnosed with ADHD and hypersensitivity in my mid 30s. I'm 44. It's a challenge of biblical proportions at times. There is something about Jessica that speaks directly to me. You know that feeling you get when you feel that connection with someone who is a perfect stanger? Yeah. That. Since I found this channel, I've already reduced the repetitive self inflicted verbal/emotional abuse of "I f@&#ing hate myself". "Ugh.. You're such a loser that you can't get this right". "Omg...what is wrong with me??". "I f@&#ing hate myself". It's now a few times a week instead of a few times a day. People have a hard enough time when they think someone doesn't like them. But when you don't completely like yourself? That's a different kind of disappointment/devastation. BTW, it's taken me 22 minutes to write this comment because I had to do the dishes right in the middle of writing this. I mean... Come on!!!
I am 38, diagnosed at 37. You are helping me and my family to connect after misunderstanding eachother for decades. I am going to help others now, just like you. 🤗
@@staYcooL478 Access to amphetamines! Also like most of the weaklings on here who constantly like to shift the blame for their ineptitdue you can legally play the adhd card.
I spend a lot of time being afraid of my emotions because I’ll experience something intensely and then be able to get distracted from that emotion and go into being happy or angry really quickly. It’s so insightful to have more words and better labels than just “crybaby” “overly sensitive” “drama queen” and someone who needs “thicker skin “
I've been binge watching your videos since last night. I am currently crying over the fact I have finally found a possible diagnosis that might fit me. I am currently waiting for help and definitely will mention the possibility of ADHD. Thank you, I finally feel seen and understood. :')
I swear each new video you make is like you're speaking directly to me and what I'm trying to conquer. This was great and sharing it with several people in my life. Thanks for making this!.... Btw, just a thought, but I'm curious as to if this is the reason why so many people with ADHD are also diagnosed as Bipolar? Misdiagnosis maybe? I'd love to see more on that thought.
+Andrew Ames yep, it's a hard diagnosis to distinguish from and gets misdiagnosed a lot! I linked to an article about the difference in the description :)
What's funny was I literally was trying to figure this very question out yesterday, and see if that was an element of ADHD then she released this video today haha, well i got my answer t.t
@lorie thacker In order to be diagnosed as bipolar depression 1 there needs to have been a full-blown manic episode, this is very, very different than what is seen with ADHD. You can watch a video of someone talking during a manic episode here on youtube I'm sure, it sounds like word salad - because the words are coming out of their mouths so fast. Their ideas are moving that fast. I once knew a woman who would completely renovate her entire house during a manic episode, floors, walls, rooms, ceilings. It would last about 2 weeks and she would be in debt/broke by the end of it. Another sold his family's home, liquidated assets and bought a ticket to Germany. It's characterized by inflated self-esteem and delusions of Granduer ( and so can be confused with, psychosis, etc..) Bipolar depression II are characterized by episodes of "hypomania" which aren't full blown manic episodes, but still quite different than ADHD symptoms. Mania isn't just "being excited" or "hyper" as explained above. Still there is considerable symptom overlap, as with many disorders in the DSM! I'm not aware if there are any correlations between ADHD and Bipolar disorder, but I do know ADHD has a *high* comorbidity with many other disorders such as unipolar depression, anxiety, conduct disorder etc so it could be very possible your son has both. Your best bet is to see a professional (*clinical psychologists* are arguably the best at teasing diagnoses out appropriately, whereas psychiatrists specialize in medications) who specializes in ADHD or ADHD comorbidity. Comorbidity means having 2 or more diagnoses at the same time.
A perfect example of Bi Polar is the UA-camr "The Angry Grandpa Show", basically his son films his dad's epic bipolar freak outs and he has the whole word salad and everything. It hot topic if the videos are staged nowadays, but if you watch the old school ones it's pretty legit, and a good example of what that might look like.
My whole life my mom's been rude when she gets mad about me overreacting/being oversensitive when I told her it might have ADHD she brushed it off as "nah you just are that way" what makes it even more ironic is possibility that she has adhd aswell since it's highly genetic
Lubia I think people who never figure or just don’t get diagnosed morph into that personality and consider it normal and how life it. That’s how I was as a kid, dismissed the adhd kids but had it the whole time.
@@saoirsekelly1815 They actually mostly aren't. It's not right to get upset at and be rude to your child, as well as dismiss their concerns for something serious as their child "just being that way". Most people have parents who will take these things seriously. It's how most people get diagnosed with anything before they're adults i.e. their parents take them seriously and take them to see a professional.
This makes me understand so much more about myself... I have always been so depressed, feeling like I'm broken. Why I can't do things like other people. Why can't I focus? Why do I cry so easily? The more I watch about ADHD Makes things make so much more sense. Why am I only finding this out now? I'm 32...
I think maybe I feel the same way, and I'm 60! I know that sounds super old to me too! Not feeling the need to get diagnosed, kinda paranoid about that. I have a job.
@@ameleh61 I am writing this 6 months after my comment. I am on medication now and I'm in therapy as well. I asked for less brain demanding tasks at my work for a little bit while I get things sorted out. I was in such a depressive state that it was starting to affect lives outside of my own. I felt like I had no purpose :( It was pretty much life or death for me so I had to take the time to find myself. Now I have re-found my life purpose. I have been learning a lot about ADHD, about treatment options, about tips/tricks/tools for daily life. My therapist said that stress exacerbates the symptoms so I'm trying to find ways to ease stress. And in that, I have picked up painting. When I'm painting, it's like I can let everything go. My perfectionism can take a back seat, paint is beautiful no matter how messy. I pop on some lofi music and just vibe out. "give credit to to the things that spark interest in you" (-Valarie Lin). Put your focus on parts that matter most to you :)
Felt this with my whole being. Il be 35 on Wednesday an a friend suggested it to me a few months ago and I'm watch these videos like..wow This makes too much sense... I have have 3 kids so everything jus feels overwhelming by myself.. Feel like I cant n don't get anything done. Although I obviously do... constant struggle in my mind. Always feel like I'm not doin enough.. constant running theme in my brain....
This was actually really helpful! I knew emotional dysregulation is part of ADHD but my skills for managing it consisted of just... maintaining a poker face while my inner monologue turned into a screaming toddler over something as minor as dropping a pen 😅
I just cried watching this. I think I’m ADHD I haven’t been diagnosed but this makes so much sense and I can relate to all of it. 😭😭 I’ve been so scared bc I though Alzheimer’s/ etc
You should definitely talk to your doctor about it! I went into the docs because I was having memory issues that were becoming too much of an issue and found out I had ADHD. Maybe you can get more info too! Best of luck
ADHD has been part of my life since I could remember. But being empathic and sometimes I experience others. It has been a rollercoaster ride because sometimes it helps and sometimes it’s hard to filter out the emotions of other’s versus my own. But through mediation and art it has helped me. Any task that I can focus truly on helps especially with specific and complex jobs.
I understand. I'm also an empath with adhd so it makes it very challenging to separate my feelings from what others are feeling. No idea if my feelings are even real
I think your channel is going to save my life and relationships. I started watching for my son but now I understand I had it first and it’s been getting harder as I’ve grown older (45 next month)
I grew up getting yelled at a lot, so I feel that I've learned how to handle those intense situations pretty well especially when I worked in retail, at gyms, and salons, but I would think about those moments every so often and play it out in my head in different ways and tell myself how I could have done better. What helped me in those intense moments of getting yelled at by a complete stranger was looking at the persons reaction and how ridiculous they looked and how pathetic they were being. My Mom actually told me growing up that I was lucky I was not a sensitive person and that I never cried. I also never let bullies see me cry, not once. I refused to give them the satisfaction.
I for one am known for getting overly excited for things and while I did some research on ADHD, since I also have, I saw this emotional dysregulation video which I have an explanation for. For people with ADHD their serotonin doesn't work right (which is the best way I can explain it). Serotonin is a chemical in the body that allows you to calm down and so its released from the brain when someone feels too stressed or excited and etc, but since for people with ADHD it doesn't work properly it can lead them to be really enthusiastic. This in addition to the impulsive behaviors is one reason why I believe we act this way.
Hi Jessica! Thank you for the video! To be honest, I even didn't realise that ADHD also impacts emotions, but now I see that the impact is immense - in my case it's fear, it fills all my mind and I have hard times regulating it, and it's impeding me hardly. Omg, I wish I knew it earlier
I so relate, buddy. I experience every emotion intensely. Like I sometimes think i feel as much emotion as 100 people all at once, or I experience more emotion than most people experience in a lifetime all in a single moment.
wow! same here man, in fact i came here for an issue i'm having with my girlfriend related to anxiety and fear. I wish we could process emotions normally :/
I couldn’t even get through 25 seconds before I got to side tracked and distracted than I looked back at the screen and the video was over, but I was too focused on the comment section to listen and remember/articulate what she is saying😭😭😭. But that’s just how it’s always been for me not being able to focus enough to complete things enough to get credit at school, forgetting stuff, having an organization system based on disorganization and that I know it’s some where on the ground. But then I realize I lost my phone some where, so I lean over to see if I can see my phone the ground of my floor, but then My leg is practically burning off from my spilled hot coffee that I’ve apparently had in my hand the whole time, however the big inconvenience is that my organization system based on disorganization is ruined because my clothes, carpet, paperwork, and some other random stuff had been stained by the coffee. So now I have to clean up my coffee stain so I get up to get a moist Towlet to clean it up and cleaner stuff for the carpet, however in the process of getting up I yet again spilled my coffee, because I forgot I had it in my hand even though I saw it in my hand, but my brain didn’t process it even after the first coffee spill in my fish tank and all my fish died 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
I'm 37 w/ ADHD and I had no idea that emotional disregulation was part of it. I have done CBT and other therapies over the years, and have discussed my emotional issues with different mental health professionals, but they never explained that it's related to my ADHD. Thank you for explaining this, understanding the how and why is a big step towards better management. I have found many coping skills that help, and keeping a log/journal is a useful tool. Mindfulness is big. But yes the ADHD & emotional disregulation still makes daily life difficult. Thank you for posting this video to help us and neurotypicals have a better understanding.
YES YES YES. for me, emotional dysregulation is one of the most crippling parte of adhd... I'm about half way through the video so I'm not sure if you included this but i would LOVE to see a video on RSD (rejection sensitivity dysphoria)
jewelzdany1 yes please do! rsd is such a big part of my life and its so hard to manage it, i haven't seen many resources about it so if would be super helpful
Mr Misanthrope People with ADHD have normal emotions but have a hard time controlling them. With BPD, the emotions themselves are wilder AND they're harder to control. (Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor.)
Mr Misanthrope bipolar cycles are just that, cycles that last for days. adhd emotional dysregulation is not like that, more like over/under reactions to stimuli... not prolonged reactions like bpd
Chronically Emmett I tried to search that on UA-cam to learn more about it, ... found myself coming back to read your comment about 5 times before I actually fully remembered each word lol
@@alegriart it is weirdly specific that's true, but it is BC it's s big part of a persons emotional life when they have ADHD. RSD basically means that that person reacts very intensely to rejection or what they perceive to be rejection. ADHD people might be emotionally highly wired but have it not be specific about rejection, while ADHD people with RSD react very strongly to rejection or perceived rejection. I hope I'm making sense, English isn't my first language so sorry if it sounds choppy
@@alegriart oh I know that one as well - even tho I've never been able to befriend socially "higher up" people, bc I just existed in my own world, not saying better or worse but I never even got to a potential friend basis with those people around me
Oh my gosh, YES! I’ve lived my life feeling I’m “TOO sensitive…” This video is super helpful, thank you!! *Meanwhile, I actually don’t have a diagnosis yet - at 46 - but honestly, mostly from watching YOUR amazing videos, it is crystal clear to me that I have ADHD. I think I will pursue a diagnosis soon… and in the meantime, I’m just trying to be easier on myself and kinder to myself, as I’m realizing more and more what I have likely been up against my whole life! So it’s time to work more WITH my brain rather than against it… anyway, just wanted to share and say thank you. Your videos - and whole channel - have had a tremendously positive impact on me, and I truly appreciate you, Jessica. 😍
@eg I feel quite like Jordan does, I will try and explain from my point of view... The only person that said 'need' a diagnosis was you. Jordan said he will likely pursue one and the 47yr old with a diagnosis described it as helpful. Let's establish some common truths so that we can have an honest conversation alright. For me, I have been trying to limit my sugar intake to almost zero. In the last 48 hours I have learned I am a posterboy for adult ADHD. In the same first 10 minutes I had ever spent learning anything about it I learned I need to have a little sugar constantly. That may be what Jordan means about working with his brain. When it comes to a proper diagnosis; when I want to take a flight I delegate that task to a person with a relevant education by hiring a pilot. I dont watch a couple of videos and think "I've got this."🤓
This video is life-changing. I think cPTSD has a role to play as well for many of us, but learning that it is a known fact that people with ADHD can have unusually strong emotional responses warms my heart. All my life I've felt shame for my 'overreactions', but I can't control how I feel. I'm determined to see my ADHD diagnosis through, no matter how long it takes. Thank you so much for making these videos.
I was diagnosed with ADHD, and I struggled a lot with emotional dysregulation. I remember being bullied in 3rd and 4th grade because I was really emotional, and it was easy for the bullies to get a reaction out of me. Over time, I became ashamed of my emotions and tried to bottle them up. Now , it’s a toss up between lethargy (depression) and emotional breakdowns.
Sailor Enthusiast DUDE THATS ME. RIGHT NOW ALL THE TIME. I’m bungee-jumping from absolute emotional repression and total incapacitation from breakdowns. Help!!!
This is so my struggle since having my daughter. I simply lack the time with my ADHD and also emotional dysregulation 5 y.o. to soothe myself, let alone teach her to help herself. We are an emotional mess. My poor husband gets caught in the middle and does not know what to do to help.
My ADHD is hellish. It's to the point where I dislike having strong emotions entirely. Although, also having Asperger's on top of that probably isn't helping. Happiness/Excitement: I just want to calm down Jealously/Regret: Causes low-self esteem And the list goes on and on and I don't want to ramble tbh I used to think "mental illness" was an exaggeration for ADHD but now I can realize how much damage it's actually causing to me.
Just been diagnosed with it. My whole life and why I am the way I am makes so much sense now. I’ve struggled with loving myself for so many years because no one in my life knew how to deal with me and my insane emotions. I felt like I was just a horrible person. Excited to finally start learning about & working on dealing with this!
I like swearing, not because it makes people feel sad, it is one of the most appropriate visualizations of my anger usually, if I'm angry i will swear, curse, swearing also means your telling the truth of how you feel, not just saying "immmm ok..."
Well, i guess that's were most pervasive mental health problems come from...It is about the emotional and psychological invalidation experienced by the child from the primary care giver(parents) which rejects the reality and inner experiences of the child and so he/she grows into adulthood with that trauma which manifests itself as a neurodevelopmental or personality disorder depending on the genetics and the severity and length of the mistreatment faced by the child. Actually ADHD shares some common traits with BPD and adult patients with the former are misdiagnosed with the later or vice versa
I recently broke up with my partner, and I can remember being in the middle of a huge argument (normally caused because I was bored) and then totally forgetting why we were arguing/what I said/ what he said/ what I actually wanted to achieve. It was so frustrating but also hard to not want to move instantly on and just snap back to being happy. GAH
I feel kind of insane seeing as I do literally everything you recommend as I had been trying hard to cope for years. I use to be super high functioning. I think it got worse over time with stress. Now I am going to get properly diagnosed for cbt and try medication. Wanting to focus on things like editing youtube videos, and keep going to school while my head is so into living life and achieving new heights all the time can be so much. I use to be able to do it all but now my brain just clouds with certain things and I get tired just doing a few things. I end up crying from anxiety and getting depressed if I force certain things on my brain. But I had always just been super sensitive in general. Just not to that degree before 😅
I also have to add that DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy) is also a wonderful tool for helping those who have a hard time regulating emotions among other things. I've gone through years of CBT with very little progress but once I started with DBT, my progress with keeping my emotions and impulses in check has skyrocketed. It's also a nice tool box just to help with every day situations. Honestly, I think DBT should be put into schools. DBT tends to boil down to skills that I can use throughout my day/life and as someone in his 30s who's lived with the diagnosis since 5 years old, any skills or tools that can help me get through my day is something I'll latch onto.
DBT has helped me a lot. I tried CBT first and couldn't put my finger on why it didn't work for me. I think the thing is, you can't just 'logic away' your emotions if you have trouble regulating them. DBT addresses the validity of your emotions and then tells you how to move forward.
I literally get emotional whenever I see a child/baby or animal when I’m working or whatever. If I stop and look at then or think about how cute/little they are, I have this emotional facial expression and I feel tears coming and I’m always confused by it. Like, why am I about to cry because I told this woman her kid was cute? Or when I read something, idk a book or something someone wrote on the internet, something cute/sad or whatever... I’ll get TOO emotional and it’s like I can’t deal with it and my body starts shaking?? I don’t even notice it sometimes until I realize I’m literally trembling kinda violently and like, more than is was just really cold. It’s the weirdest thinnng! I hate it, it’s disturbing, I can’t control my body and I can’t focus on what I’m reading, so I have to either stop for a little while or push through😅
I totally get it!!! The only thing different for me is that when I see the babies I get so happy! And then I want to play with them because everything is so new to them! Therefore, I use that emotion into having a career with babies and children! I get what you said about the extreme emotions! I have bipolar disorder, and it was not until I began therapy and medication that I could do this! I was so weighed down by the depression and anxiety.
“Most of us do have ways to self soothe, but they’re not always healthy” actually me tho. *fails history goes and buys a bag of m&ms and shovels it into mouth crying*
ya I understand that my "self soothe" is usually never trying my hardest so that I can always lessen the impact of failure by saying I could have done it if I had actually tried.
@@vaughnmonkey same (in addition to the eating). And that is why I basically flunked out of college (left before I could properly flunk out) and gained like 20 lbs
Even though emotional symptoms aren't part of the diagnostic criteria people that seek help for those symptoms are diagnosed with *BPD* instead and their ADHD symptoms are ignored. Girls tend to be diagnosed with BPD while boys tends to be diagnosed with ADHD.
Happened to me, except bipolar. Mainly I had meltdowns a lot and school avoidance, depression, self-harm, anxiety. I really don't recommend the experience of being on antidepressants and mood stabilizers that do nothing but give you side-effects for 7 years on and off while your ADHD is going totally unchecked. During that time I dropped out of high school, lost all my friends, picked up a few bad habits, flunked out of college. Diagnosed with ADHD at 19 and a little adderall makes me a straight A student. Kinda feels like I was robbed of a normal childhood tbh.
Girls with aspergers syndrome are usually diagnosed with BPD before the doctor realises they are actually autistic or on the spectrum , there seems to be something very sexist going on with the diagnosis of bpd.
My dad used to get SO mad at me as a kid. I am, and always have been, SUPER emotional and cannot control my emotions. He was the "I'll give you something to cry about" type, and being as emotional as I am, I heard that line A LOT!!!!
This makes so much sense!!!! And also explains How I was Misdiagnosed in my mid 20s, with Borderline Personality Disorder. I can see how they can be mistaken, especially with Anxiety and Depression also being present, due to struggling for so long with no support or understanding of the way my brain worked! By my mid 20s, I had my "Emotional breakdown" as I call it. I almost lost my job, I was in active drug addiction, and ended up at a Psychiatrist who diagnosed me with like 6 or 7 different things. I went to an "Emotion Regulation" therapy course.... And it really did help, and made a HUGE difference. but something still didn't feel right about my Diagnoses.... I didn't quite match the BPD profile, well I did... At that moment... But only for that season of my life. Come to find, after MUCH research, all the symptoms I was having, were a result of going 32 years undiagnosed/treated for my ADHD............
Wow, finally some sort of road map! I'm 55 yrs old and have been doing this on my own for a very long time self taught how to handle a lot of what you just described.. Some of the things that I saw and heard here and saw on your Ted podcast described me to a tee. Made me realize that I'm not the only one out there . I've subscribed to your channel. BTW I have always been wondering why I am this way why I do some of the things I do, now maybe I can get a little light on the subject. Used a lot of the tricks you explained with out even realizing that they are methods to handle ADHD. I'm very smart and like to think outside the box all the time. My current job is to solve very complex issues and I'm good at it especially when it's critically important, Kicked out of school so many times in the 70s drove my mother to drink. And life long friend who's has known me for 50+ years describes me perfectly to my wife all the time. Just to make sure she gets it, Btw I've been married to the same girl for 32 years can you imagine what she's been through :) My god it's like talking to another life long friend! Thank you
My parents are always telling me that I overreact or I'm too affected by something and it makes me feel really bad. I try to control myself, but I end up reacting anyways so I just have to do damage control. I'm considering going to behavioral therapy for it
Sorry Nix, my comment was towards ....people ingeneral. I reread and saw the word PARENTS.......oooops! Not intended to be rude to your parents! I better slow down on reading!!!!
I can’t believe it’s 6am and I think I’m over here harmlessly looking up videos on how to regulate sadness and my mind is getting blown every second with how much I needed to hear some of this and know I wasn’t alone in it 😅 thank you for leaving me feeling validated in my experiences and a little more educated on this as well
I’ve been going down a youtube rabbit hole after my friend was getting her diagnosis and this was the video that eventually made me cry. I’m about to make an appointment but just the thought that maybe there’s a name for what i’m experiencing and that i don’t have to keep living like this makes me so emotional thank you so much
I only started medication 5 months ago. In the first hour, I realized how well my emotions were regulated as I was in a pretty triggering situation and handled it WAYYY better than I normally would have. I tired anti-depressants in the past and had mixed results. Some of them were actually horrible. What I love and ADHD medication is that I feel the same way about an issue, but with emotional regulation I now can think more rationally about it and make better decisions. LIFE CHANGING!!!!
Hey luv you've saved my life few times within the last few months (since I discoverd that I'm ADHD and started studying it). There's nothing else to say than THANK YOU!
Hi, I'm an English teacher in an underserved School in Aurora Illinois. I have a brilliant student who has ADHD and wrote an amazing poem about his experience and the misconceptions about people with ADHD. I was wondering if you would be willing to read it and see what you think of it. This brilliant young man deserves some exposure and the ability to take pride in his work. Could I send it to you somehow?
Wow ! You are the kind of the teacher the world deserves . Thank you Sir ...as an ADHD girl ( diagnosed recently , I'm an adult ) teachers hated me with vengeance .
This video is so relevant to my current struggle. You hit every nail on the head with everything you’ve said. It’s amazing to have reassurance from you and the community. Makes me feel less weird or strange. The emotion tracker is such a good idea and I will definitely try!
On the other hand, we tend to understand other people's emotions so much better! We tend to understand how other people work mentally It's like we have these antennas that picks up things other people miss when interacting with others. We recognize how people respond to things, even when they doesn't say anything! These things might not always apply to situations where we are directly involved, like in relationships, though
Howdy y’all! I have never really made comments on UA-cam much before but I wanted to say thanks for bringing such a positive awareness to ADHD!! you’re videos have helped my wife to better understand me and for me to better understand myself. I was diagnosed about 4-5 years ago and never really figured out what t was all about. Recently I started studying and figured out just how deeply it affects my life. Stuff I thought I was just crazy for now has reasoning and makes sense!
Thank you so much for this today Jessica. I had a spat with my fiance and was frustrated with myself that I was so frustrated with the situation. Especially since it was communication related and the past few days we had been working really hard on improving communication.
lol I say this: “my emotional dysregulation is firing on high today” when it is and I let my friends and support team know so that they know I’m feeling extra feelingsy that day lol
I'm usually referred to as one of the chillest people my acquaintances know, and I think it's in part due to my ADHD. I feel a dullness, a disconnect, like I have to try harder to get upset on people's behalf like others do so easily. Empathy was learned for me, I have to actively take time to think and put myself in someone's shoes before I can feel sympathy for someone most of the time. Yet my anxiety is really bad and I am a very sensitive person to any sort of criticism. I'm a lot different on my meds. I become a lot more empathetic and almost embarrassingly kind. I overdo it and I feel like I'm smothering. I feel the urge to connect with and help people in any way I can on my meds when I'm usually not normally. It's like night and day. This is why I think it's my ADHD that makes me such an introverted cool cucumber. It's very interesting, I just wish I could find a happy neutral
Thank you! On my performance evaluation, my boss wrote: "tends to express negative thoughts verbally and non-verbally." Could you please consider making a video on ADHD and adulting? Like, having an office job or working within an organization with "policies and procedures" 😯 Thanks plenty ❤️
Everyone has always told me I'm too sensitive which of course makes me even more upset. This has led to a life of internalizing my emotions and never dealing with them cause at the time it seemed better than constantly being criticized for being emotional.
No one has EVER taught me the steps of emotional regulation. Just hearing them described helps so much in realizing what is in my power to do literally anything about my struggles with them! Thank you!
WOW! This was a real eye-opener to me. I have ADHD and (I strongly suspect) my mom had ADHD - the same kind even (inattentive), and we both had this same problem. I always thought of the emotional outbursts as a separate thing. This is very helpful knowledge; thank you.
"Interesting, I'll consider that"...this is something I read in a management book. A How-to guide on leadership. This gives me time to consider, without compulsively blurting out, and they respectfully are replied to. I've found this phrase to be a very helpful tool :)
Great idea. If you ever remember the name of that book, please tell me. If only they would make a book like this for people with ADHD and social anxiety
I love how you made your ADHD a guide for others who struggle with it or have a love one who has it. Even you were diagnosed later you also have the experience of being a layman(not sure if that is the right world to use) in ADHD. I just love your videos, so helpful, so informative
Same! I’m almost grateful I dealt with crippling social anxiety during my teen years and was physically incapable of speaking what was on my mind . . . If I had, it definitely would have gotten me in some trouble.
Erin Crane I'll second this. APD is a huge issue for me though I've developed a lot of coping mechanisms for it, and is the cause for a lot of anxiety about talking to people on phones.
Osric250 Me too. And since I never hear anyone talk about it, it makes having to explain that you didn't understand what they said more difficult. It's honestly nice to see that someone else struggles with this as well, a lot of the time it seems like I'm the only one since nobody ever talks about it
Erin Crane I've seen it brought up several times over on reddit, in fact that's where I learned what it was called. There's enough that I expect a decently high comorbidity rate with us.
Interesting. I used to think I had hearing issues, but it just takes me like an extra second to process what someone says. I feel annoying sometimes with asking people to repeat... and that's when I'm actually able to focus and properly listen. I'm also starting to have dyslexia symptoms, which I never had before. I take notes at university, and I have to write very fast, so I often make typos or skip letters and have to erase. I'm scared of how my ADHD keeps developing.
@Petit Abricot see if your university offers note takers. At my school they have other students volunteer to give their notes through counselling services.
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
YES very sure of bergwilly11__. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
I think my current relationship is falling apart due to my emotional dysregulation, this channel has made some things so clear for me. Thank you for not making me feel so alone out there.
I LOVE THIS GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank u for making me feel normal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And happy at the same time!!! :-D Ive GOT to get my son hooked up with your videos/therapy! Hes got ADHD SOO BAD he cant even find the right words to get his feelings and emotions out so it turns into ANGER and self-degradation dragging us down with him!!!!! TOXIC OVERLOAD!!! Good news though since he started maturing now hes 16, his reactions to his anger and the effects are shorter lived and hes even able to ask me for a hug when hes upset WHICH IS HUGE SINCE IN THE LAST 2 YRS HE WONT LET ME HUG HIM! He used to be in therapy but he doesnt have insurance now and we dont have to pay $114.00 per hour each week for it!!! :( So we are turning to things like this to help us both get thru.... :-) You are AWESOME Thank U for what u do!!!!!
I just wanted to reach out and say thank you for doing what you are doing! I struggle with emotional dysregulation and I started my own channel to help others learn from my mistakes and not be afraid to take the steps to get help. I literally laughed through this whole video because ouch... it's like you know me! My channel is called Here Today Hope Tomorrow. I would love to chat with you sometime about your struggles with ADHD and comorbidities. It's nice to not feel alone in our struggles!
I've just recently been diagnosed with ADHD, and this is super helpful! Thank you. I appreciate how fast you talk, with all the visuals, which help me focus!
My self soothing (especially after anger) is... extremely unhealthy. I have to regulate physically, so when I’m angry I always end up hurting myself and sometimes other things.
This is so helpful! Found your channel through a Ted talk that you did. My 11 year old daughter has ADHD and her emotions are extreme!! Her dad also has ADHD as well but yet he seems to be the most impatient with her instead of being able to relate to her. Thanks so much for this info and this channel!! Helping me a ton to know how to parent an ADHD girl.
I really appreciate your videos. They have helped me understand my child and myself better. Your energy and sense of humor are both perfect for your messages. Keep up the good work.
I'm going back through these old videos and having also read your book, I just want to say thank you.... again.... because these videos make it so clear why I can't do what I can't do and why that is actually "normal" for me. It's helping me to stop beating myself up about those things but to be more aware of the potholes. As a teacher, it's also helping me to make these things explicit to my student(s) with ADHD so that they don't beat themselves up either. 💜
Wow, I had no idea this was a thing!!!thank you so much!!!! No wonder I am always "over dramatic" about everything (which I what my WHOLE family says😂) thank you so much!!!!
This video came at the perfect time for me!!! I experience a lot of changes in my life right now, and it's a quite overwhelming experience!!! And this triggers all sorts of emotions - both good and bad... I've always been (extremely) emotional - but have never been good at expressing my feelings "in the right way". Even though I've lived my whole life with ADHD (I'm 45 years old, didn't get diagnosed until last year!!), I'm still trying to understand all of my "challenges". But, thanks to you guys, I'm glad to repeatedly get confirmation, that I'm "normal" (in a ADHD sense). ;) Love you guys. You're THE BEST!!!
I have suffered with ADD since adolescence. You just explained so much for me. I have never fully understood the depth of my disability. Thank you so much. I have experienced so much self-blame over my life time and very few people have been sympathetic when I have tried to explain my condition. Thank you, you may be saving what remains of my life with this knowledge. I finally feel motivated to seek medical help and to learn more about how to cope with this. I definitely have had emotional dysregulation and so much of what you describe fits with my experience. This condition has damaged so much of my life in ways I am only now beginning to realize. Many treat AD/HD like its nothing serious, or just an excuse for someone who doesn't try or who is lazy. When in truth it is so debilitating and much more serious than many realize.
You know you have ADHD when you're watching something about ADHD and realize you lost focus and have to restart the video
*FACTS*
Facts
Wait hold up, what did she say again?
It helps to put the video at 1.25x
I did this too
Do you ever have a problem with saying too much? Like when you are having a conversation and you feel like you have to say everything that is on your mind.
And then I feel like I shouldn’t have but I keep doing it🙄😭😆
Also, with more complex decisions I often don’t know whether I should say/do something or not, even when I take the time to think about it. It can be v stressful as I usually end up spending way too long on trying to figure it out😩😩 but tbh I can’t even pick what I want to eat lol
Kat FF this is like me.... I can’t decide on little things and the brig things are just off the table completely...
THIS, EXACTLY
Omg yes
If I had a nickel for every person who told me I needed a thicker skin, I could have paid a really good shrink.
Me too!
My dad made a comment on my dark leg hair, which I’m very self conscious abt and I started crying and my own dad told me to “grow thicker skin”
If I had a nickel for every person who told me I needed a thicker skin, Jeff Bezos would look like a homeless guy on Rodeo drive getting arrested for loitering compared to me
Yep. Note: every Person counts one. Not Everytime they said it.
YES
I love that, being ADHD herself, she knows exactly how to capture our (ADD/ADHD folks) attention by putting constantly moving objects, flashing lights, entertaining animations, and using a faster rhythm of speech. Am I still distracted? Yes. But am I LESS distracted? Also, yes. 😊
i never noticed this but now i'm realizing that this is exactly why i can watch these videos with only having to bounce my leg to keep myself stimulated and mostly focused
And she keeps them short
I sent one of her videos to a friend of mine (ADHDer). He told me he played her at 2X. I was surprised since she speaks quite fast 😅
I initially thought it was too much/quick and a bit annoying but the more I watch them, the more I realise that I'm less distracted haha. I still read comments (because the visuals distract me from her spoken information) while watching the video but I'm listening better lol.
As an ADHD brain who used to edit videos a lot (and HATED the process), I can see adding novel edits to keep oneself from going mad. And then it just so happens to entertain viewers as well 😅
When I get mad, I can't stop being mad... Even when I'm fully aware that I'm overreacting...And I cry like two three times a day sometimes. I've been told I'm oversensitive a million times.
L.Croft i feel ya girl
I spent most of my school years crying over every even slightly stressful situation. You aren't alone.
I had this problem big time. Jesus leads me to forgive and he has changed my heart to not be angry. Jesus answers prayers that are His will. I suggest seeking Him out.
@@crystalnichols7224 me tooo
same
Making decisions or choosing is also hard with ADHD...because you're considering all options including variables, while fearing the people around you are getting the impression you don't know what you want out of life!
big mood
Omg yess!
This is literally my life. I overthink EVERYTHING before making choices.
Same here. It must be why I so strongly indentified with the character Hamlet when I read the play in high school. His indecisiveness and ability to see validity in both sides of an argument is soooooo relatable.
TheVaultdweller BIG, big mood
the way my neurotypical family sees my feelings
sad = crybaby
angry = giving too much attitude
disgust = picky
anxious = overly sensitive
depressed = lazy
happy = overly annoying
upset = even more overly sensitive
no matter what im feeling its either too much or im just being week and its really hard to express myself
this is relatable
Bruh same
When Im happy every one thinks I'm of my head and annoying and I'm just like OK would you prefer I live in a constant state of depression
Damn 😂
I know what you mean.... my whole life I've been told I'm "too ----" too much, too loud, too touchy, too defensive, too emotional, too overbearing, whatever...
If I ever HAVE a problem with someone, I'm told I'm just bringing them drama.
I'm a clinical child psychologist. Your videos are painfully correct and professional. Just stumbled upon them two hours ago. Will recommend them in Tuesday's class.
UFO interest? me to and adhd!
Class? I love psychology I need to go there
Create some content
I never knew emotions were tied to ADHD as I’m always over sensitive and will cry if my ponytail isn’t working out after 5 tries or if a teacher is disappointed in me (especially if it’s one I like) and I always get super excited and I get overly affectionate and hug everyone
Yep. :)
I feel you :)
Same here I cry at every inconvenience that happens to me🤦🏾♀️ like every other day
Me too
The one abt feeling sad or rejection when a teacher is disappointed in you is actually called rejection sensitive dysphoria
How appropriate I started to cry while I was watching this. It hit home. Thank you for your help
Canadian Sunrise at the first part she said of crying I wanted to cry I don’t know why
I felt the same way. Almost cried
Hey me toooooo😂 love my brain but I also get why I’m crying because I feel so understood and I just started really watching her videos, learning so much about others and most importantly myself :)
I have aspergers on top of my AD
HD so my Logic often overrids my emotions
Another ADD video almost made me cry. Then I came here lol.
Thank you for this. I’m a parent of a child with ADHD. You’ve helped me to understand what my child is going through. He’s 10 yrs old and has what I used to call temper tantrums. Now I know it’s emotional disregulation. I’m really ashamed that i didn’t quite understand. But now that I do, I can have better conversations with his Psychiatrist and Counselor for ways I can help my child. Your channel has taught me so much.
Thank you for helping your child and getting him help. More parents need to do that. You’re amazing!
Sounds like pms not adhd.
You’re a wonderful parent
You go mama! 🥰
Thanks for taking the time to understand him! It’s been 13 years since my diagnosis and my parents still don’t take it seriously or know anything about it. 😵💫
Another thing is that it's important to realise this emotional dysregulation is often a trauma response, and in fact (c)PTSD.
Was wondering when someone would say it
Given how often adhd symptoms are interpreted as moral failings and how often it's genetic, the two go together. When you have a mother with emotional dysregulation, walk into a room that a hyperactive child or two have destroyed, possibly injured themselves and definitely not sorted their laundry, screaming is a likely, and therefore, the trauma.
@Rebecca Holcombe Absolutely!!! And if your mother had anxiety problems you can inherit that in utero. Hard for you or your mom to cope with each other. Since we both had fight or flight we sort of withdrew from one another, so no affection, which doesn’t help either.
@@rebeccaholcombe9043 I know this sequence of events well. I'm blessed to have a family that's grown away from it. Mostly. Some still need to acknowledge they have unmet issues in the first place. 😅😵💫
Yea
My day yesterday:
I got yelled at by some Karen and ended up having a mental breakdown in the middle of the store. After that, I was so upset I curled up in bed and hugged my stuffed sheep for a while. When I felt good enough to do something again, I saw on my phone that Karolina Źebrowska had reposted my video and I spent the rest of the night jumping up and down with excitement.
Emotional dysregulation at its worst and best.
I was surprised to see a comment mention Karolina, so I looked at your page to see what video you might have meant, and I found out that I've actually already seen it and thought it was hilarious (assuming it was the P&P as meme mom one). Also, I saw that you posted a video about Ever After the Musical! I never see it getting much recognition, but I've watched the official videos of that show so many times since I discovered it a few years ago--- especially this past week or so since Alliance Theatre posted a clip from the actual show of Sierra Boggess and Tim Rogan performing Cousin's Cousin.
Sorry for such a long comment, I just got really excited about all the coincidences involved with finding a person in the comment section with whom I share several interests. Anyway, congrats on Karolina reposting your video!
Karolina's content is great! Yours must be too :D
HECJEEVUAGYWG I WANNA WATCH THE VIDEO SHE REPOSTED NOW BUT THIS VIDEO ISN'T DONE- ;-;
@@emilyt2314 Haha yes that's the one! Thank you for your sweet comments!
@@val-kd7lh You can watch it after😂
This adds to understanding my mis diagnosis as a kid. ADHD and PTSD coupled with being a girl... and bam! I got stuck with the bipolar label.
So glad I found this. Thank you!
This is my exact story.
Also! Struggle is real
They always try and give me Bipolar. But I'm like nahh I just have all the observations. I got the ADD, the PTSD, the OCD.
Sigh.
how do you differentiate your ptsd and adhd? I am struggling with finding out wether I really have adhd or "just" ptsd
@@RababaInc they are comorbid, childhood ptsd can lead to worsening ADHD.
my parents literally don’t believe that i have adhd even though my doctor, therapist, & school counselor say i do, then they get mad when i over react or fidget with something
They probably just don't want to acknowledge what does not fit in their perception of the world or you. Or maybe they don't understand what ADHD is? I had similar situations. And I think its impossible to change those peoples minds, unless they want it themselves.
or they don't wanna acknowledge they have it.
My parents ignored mine my whole life because my brother had it, and they wanted one “normal” child, so while my brother got 5 different evaluations, I didn’t get any and it’s making it nearly impossible for me at 25 to get a formal diagnosis, and medication. My counselor is helping me with my complex trauma so it doesn’t come up as much but she does agree that I need to be medicated for my ADHD and it’s triggering anxiety and depression occasionally and we need to nip it in the bud. What was most heartbreaking was finding 1st and 3rd grade report cards last week with teachers concerned about my constant talking and lack of attention and work efficiency, they said I loved to talk but I lacked social skills like talking at the appropriate time or sharing appropriate things. My mom recently said “you weren’t a bad kid, just lazy, messy, and talkative, you basically haven’t shut up since you were born”, but now it’s almost cost me my marriage and I’m barely functional on my own without my husband holding my hand through everything. It’s not fair to him, my daughter and I. You’re not alone. It’s frustrating because my brother who has it severely now has a masters and is happily married because he got treatment and a formal diagnosis and I’m struggling with everything even getting a formal diagnosis because my parents ignored mine.
Poor, poor you, I mean that, sounds familiar.
because they very likely caused your ADHD... adhd has link to early trauma
Growing up I was never really allowed to have strong emotions because my sister was such a handful that I was shut up every time I tried to speak up. Of course I still had these emotions but not being able to verbalize them or even let them show through body language meant a LOT of suppressing, and now I have a really hard time expressing my emotions to anyone cause I’m afraid they’ll think I’m “too much”
Hugs 🤗. I know I suppress my symptoms...if I have adhd, which I probably do.
Yeah, that's me. Go slowly, give little bits of yourself at a time, you'll gradually become more comfortable expressing yourself.
Also, write. As a great psychiatrist said, there's no real difference between writing and thinking. You'll learn to think more clearly by writing your thoughts.
You are not too much.
Bruh same
Totally same comings from toxic manipulation family now be out of that toxic family live own my own without family help be adult and in relationship and have hard time expressing feelings let alone give him need that he need I don’t know but give him best even tho I know I feel like I’m not give him love but try do best.
This is crazy. I get so unmotivated and depressed over it then become so exciteable and happy, I thought I might be bipolar... But I don't think my joy is mania. I had no idea there was such a strong connection between emotional dysregulation and ADHD. Your videos are really helping me understand ADHD better and helping me understand that I'm not crazy or psychotic. More people need to know about this!!
ExCtly how I felt you put it into words I couldn’t!
I was the exact same too!
me too! i went from thinking i might be bipolar, to having BPD, & now i think adhd sounds about right lol
I completely agree!
@@justagurlllllllllll I’m the same !!! This is such a relief
Ohhh this is definitely me. I have a tendency to just start crying at even the smallest critic or frustration or during a 'heated discussion,' and other people bringing attention to it just makes it worse and it's very difficult to stop. Really embarrassing when it happens in public....
SatiricalSunflower AND THEN YOURE PARENTS SAY YOURE ELEVEN YEARS OLD SMH
Why is this me tho?
As a child I used to cry because of everyone who disagreed with me and I was so ashamed of it that I trained myself to stop crying infront if people. Now I can't even cry with my best friend, even though I have the strong urge to do so. I wish I could get rid of this mechanism. It can be useful sometimes but honestly I would have needed people to notice that I'm broken at some point of my life. Anyways, try to always have your people that you can cry with. It's important.
this. and like, I'm not even that upset or anything, but as soon as I start to feel even just *slightly* upset the waterworks just can't stop leaking. and trying to explain to others "hey, I'm not actually that upset it's just a thing that happens sometimes" through choked sobs and sniffles isn't exactly convincing........
@@EeveeFlipnoteStudios woa I have the exact same issue. Inside I'm rationally processing what the other person said (either criticism or much-wanted approval) and then it just becomes a whole embarrassing situation for them when I'm trying to explain that no I'm not some thin skinned princess who can't handle constructive criticism - that this is a normal thing that happens and please ignore it. But then their face as they look at me. And the frustration that I can't stop crying just making me cry more. Only option is just to bolt out of there, try and calm down and carry on like nothing happened.
O0o0o0o0o0oooo so that's what it was. Emotional Dysregulation. It's amazing how empowering it is to actually find the name for something that you go through.
+CutiePieZapZap right???
Yes!!! Thanks for knowledge :D !
Totally! My fiancée has ADHD and today had a massive bad mood / emotional dip triggered by a really small thing.
It was so incredible to see that this video was uploaded, and to suddenly have a name for what he was going through.
It was wonderful to be able to say “I know this is not your fault” and have science to back it up!!!
THANK YOU Jessica and Edward for sharing the knowledge for all us Brains and Hearts 👍😊💚 you are both awesome!!
CutiePieZapZap exactly I just smiled the whole time because it all made sense I thought I was alone lol
CutiePieZapZap anyone else got a a radiating headache of contraction emerging in the head each time he or she has to stop to say hello to someone ? How can I stop projecting that?
I can't believe it took me so long to find this channel. I was diagnosed with ADHD and hypersensitivity in my mid 30s. I'm 44. It's a challenge of biblical proportions at times.
There is something about Jessica that speaks directly to me. You know that feeling you get when you feel that connection with someone who is a perfect stanger? Yeah. That.
Since I found this channel, I've already reduced the repetitive self inflicted verbal/emotional abuse of "I f@&#ing hate myself". "Ugh.. You're such a loser that you can't get this right". "Omg...what is wrong with me??". "I f@&#ing hate myself". It's now a few times a week instead of a few times a day.
People have a hard enough time when they think someone doesn't like them. But when you don't completely like yourself? That's a different kind of disappointment/devastation.
BTW, it's taken me 22 minutes to write this comment because I had to do the dishes right in the middle of writing this. I mean... Come on!!!
i say the same things to myself have been for years and years - I don’t want to be like that … just started meds
I need to be diagnosed. This me so feel dumb, and feel so bad about myself. My life is full of wholes.
Me:*in my room*
Mom: dinner is ready!
Me: ok!
Also me: *sees something*
20min later
Mom: Anaïs!
Me* super confuesed
soo true
hows gumbal
Avery.S bruh ask about darwin too kinda rude ....
Avery.S huh?
amynicj _06 huh?
I am 38, diagnosed at 37. You are helping me and my family to connect after misunderstanding eachother for decades. I am going to help others now, just like you. 🤗
nobody cares as seen by the absence of comments in reponse to your comment,
I am 32. My parents want me to get diagnosed now. I've always known i have it. But now diagnose? Whats the point!
@@staYcooL478 Access to amphetamines! Also like most of the weaklings on here who constantly like to shift the blame for their ineptitdue you can legally play the adhd card.
@@bastadtroll8922 oh the irony of your comment lol
@@delgat000 I believe its called an oxymoron.
I spend a lot of time being afraid of my emotions because I’ll experience something intensely and then be able to get distracted from that emotion and go into being happy or angry really quickly. It’s so insightful to have more words and better labels than just “crybaby” “overly sensitive” “drama queen” and someone who needs “thicker skin “
I was looking though the comments to see if anyone would have a similar thought to me. Thanks for sharing.
I've been binge watching your videos since last night. I am currently crying over the fact I have finally found a possible diagnosis that might fit me. I am currently waiting for help and definitely will mention the possibility of ADHD. Thank you, I finally feel seen and understood. :')
Did you get a diagnosis?
same but i have to wait til june for a first appointment and then at least 6 months for therapy
Any news anyone?
I swear each new video you make is like you're speaking directly to me and what I'm trying to conquer. This was great and sharing it with several people in my life. Thanks for making this!.... Btw, just a thought, but I'm curious as to if this is the reason why so many people with ADHD are also diagnosed as Bipolar? Misdiagnosis maybe? I'd love to see more on that thought.
+Andrew Ames yep, it's a hard diagnosis to distinguish from and gets misdiagnosed a lot! I linked to an article about the difference in the description :)
What's funny was I literally was trying to figure this very question out yesterday, and see if that was an element of ADHD then she released this video today haha, well i got my answer t.t
YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IVE BEEN THINKING my sons BI-POLAR FOR 2 YRS NOW!!!!!! Could it be just the ADHD?
@lorie thacker In order to be diagnosed as bipolar depression 1 there needs to have been a full-blown manic episode, this is very, very different than what is seen with ADHD. You can watch a video of someone talking during a manic episode here on youtube I'm sure, it sounds like word salad - because the words are coming out of their mouths so fast. Their ideas are moving that fast. I once knew a woman who would completely renovate her entire house during a manic episode, floors, walls, rooms, ceilings. It would last about 2 weeks and she would be in debt/broke by the end of it. Another sold his family's home, liquidated assets and bought a ticket to Germany. It's characterized by inflated self-esteem and delusions of Granduer ( and so can be confused with, psychosis, etc..)
Bipolar depression II are characterized by episodes of "hypomania" which aren't full blown manic episodes, but still quite different than ADHD symptoms. Mania isn't just "being excited" or "hyper" as explained above. Still there is considerable symptom overlap, as with many disorders in the DSM! I'm not aware if there are any correlations between ADHD and Bipolar disorder, but I do know ADHD has a *high* comorbidity with many other disorders such as unipolar depression, anxiety, conduct disorder etc so it could be very possible your son has both. Your best bet is to see a professional (*clinical psychologists* are arguably the best at teasing diagnoses out appropriately, whereas psychiatrists specialize in medications) who specializes in ADHD or ADHD comorbidity. Comorbidity means having 2 or more diagnoses at the same time.
A perfect example of Bi Polar is the UA-camr "The Angry Grandpa Show", basically his son films his dad's epic bipolar freak outs and he has the whole word salad and everything. It hot topic if the videos are staged nowadays, but if you watch the old school ones it's pretty legit, and a good example of what that might look like.
You should do a video on the "limited working memory" you mentioned
Yeah I'd really like that to be featured as well!
Yes please
My whole life my mom's been rude when she gets mad about me overreacting/being oversensitive
when I told her it might have ADHD she brushed it off as "nah you just are that way"
what makes it even more ironic is possibility that she has adhd aswell since it's highly genetic
Lubia i have the same problem smh -_-
Lubia I think people who never figure or just don’t get diagnosed morph into that personality and consider it normal and how life it. That’s how I was as a kid, dismissed the adhd kids but had it the whole time.
Parents are always like this, in my experience. Most of them lack all self-awareness.
I feel the same about my mom
@@saoirsekelly1815 They actually mostly aren't. It's not right to get upset at and be rude to your child, as well as dismiss their concerns for something serious as their child "just being that way". Most people have parents who will take these things seriously. It's how most people get diagnosed with anything before they're adults i.e. their parents take them seriously and take them to see a professional.
This makes me understand so much more about myself... I have always been so depressed, feeling like I'm broken. Why I can't do things like other people. Why can't I focus? Why do I cry so easily? The more I watch about ADHD Makes things make so much more sense. Why am I only finding this out now? I'm 32...
I feel the same exact way, and I’m 26. We still have years and years to use this info to improve our lives 💕
I think maybe I feel the same way, and I'm 60! I know that sounds super old to me too! Not feeling the need to get diagnosed, kinda paranoid about that. I have a job.
@@ameleh61
I am writing this 6 months after my comment. I am on medication now and I'm in therapy as well. I asked for less brain demanding tasks at my work for a little bit while I get things sorted out. I was in such a depressive state that it was starting to affect lives outside of my own. I felt like I had no purpose :( It was pretty much life or death for me so I had to take the time to find myself.
Now I have re-found my life purpose. I have been learning a lot about ADHD, about treatment options, about tips/tricks/tools for daily life. My therapist said that stress exacerbates the symptoms so I'm trying to find ways to ease stress. And in that, I have picked up painting.
When I'm painting, it's like I can let everything go. My perfectionism can take a back seat, paint is beautiful no matter how messy. I pop on some lofi music and just vibe out.
"give credit to to the things that spark interest in you" (-Valarie Lin). Put your focus on parts that matter most to you :)
Felt this with my whole being. Il be 35 on Wednesday an a friend suggested it to me a few months ago and I'm watch these videos like..wow
This makes too much sense...
I have have 3 kids so everything jus feels overwhelming by myself..
Feel like I cant n don't get anything done. Although I obviously do... constant struggle in my mind. Always feel like I'm not doin enough.. constant running theme in my brain....
Aww nice that you came bk to update. Glad things are brighter for u✨👌🏾💯💜
I have never in my life heard someone describe my mental processes so perfectly. Your videos are eye opening and life changing, thank you so much!
This was actually really helpful! I knew emotional dysregulation is part of ADHD but my skills for managing it consisted of just... maintaining a poker face while my inner monologue turned into a screaming toddler over something as minor as dropping a pen 😅
I literally have 0 outlets to let out my anger and ive been angry my whole life
@@nighcalmoutlaw right! 😭 I scream sometimes into my pillow tho
I just cried watching this. I think I’m ADHD I haven’t been diagnosed but this makes so much sense and I can relate to all of it. 😭😭 I’ve been so scared bc I though Alzheimer’s/ etc
You should definitely talk to your doctor about it! I went into the docs because I was having memory issues that were becoming too much of an issue and found out I had ADHD. Maybe you can get more info too! Best of luck
@@mulv3410 hi I want the emotional. Tracker
Same..
I highly recommend the book Divergent Mind. I think you'll find some good stuff there. It's so empowering and enlightening.
I think I might have adhd. My mom thinks she's losing her memory. Should I get her checked?
ADHD has been part of my life since I could remember. But being empathic and sometimes I experience others. It has been a rollercoaster ride because sometimes it helps and sometimes it’s hard to filter out the emotions of other’s versus my own. But through mediation and art it has helped me. Any task that I can focus truly on helps especially with specific and complex jobs.
I understand. I'm also an empath with adhd so it makes it very challenging to separate my feelings from what others are feeling. No idea if my feelings are even real
3:24 We have ANY working memory!? Where!?
It's right....never mind, I forgot.
@@lindseysquire8417It's clearly...what were we talking about
5:02 She even gives out relatable examples? Love it! Thank you for all the work you guys put into videos!
I think your channel is going to save my life and relationships. I started watching for my son but now I understand I had it first and it’s been getting harder as I’ve grown older (45 next month)
I grew up getting yelled at a lot, so I feel that I've learned how to handle those intense situations pretty well especially when I worked in retail, at gyms, and salons, but I would think about those moments every so often and play it out in my head in different ways and tell myself how I could have done better.
What helped me in those intense moments of getting yelled at by a complete stranger was looking at the persons reaction and how ridiculous they looked and how pathetic they were being.
My Mom actually told me growing up that I was lucky I was not a sensitive person and that I never cried. I also never let bullies see me cry, not once. I refused to give them the satisfaction.
I for one am known for getting overly excited for things and while I did some research on ADHD, since I also have, I saw this emotional dysregulation video which I have an explanation for. For people with ADHD their serotonin doesn't work right (which is the best way I can explain it). Serotonin is a chemical in the body that allows you to calm down and so its released from the brain when someone feels too stressed or excited and etc, but since for people with ADHD it doesn't work properly it can lead them to be really enthusiastic. This in addition to the impulsive behaviors is one reason why I believe we act this way.
God, I'm so ADD I sometimes forget I have it.
Making decisions has got to be the hardest. What do you mean "prioritize" they're ALL important LOL :)
Same for me except i got ADD and dyslexia.
Legitimately SO hard lol
Hi Jessica! Thank you for the video!
To be honest, I even didn't realise that ADHD also impacts emotions, but now I see that the impact is immense - in my case it's fear, it fills all my mind and I have hard times regulating it, and it's impeding me hardly. Omg, I wish I knew it earlier
I so relate, buddy. I experience every emotion intensely. Like I sometimes think i feel as much emotion as 100 people all at once, or I experience more emotion than most people experience in a lifetime all in a single moment.
wow! same here man, in fact i came here for an issue i'm having with my girlfriend related to anxiety and fear. I wish we could process emotions normally :/
oh my god i didnt relize that
I couldn’t even get through 25 seconds before I got to side tracked and distracted than I looked back at the screen and the video was over, but I was too focused on the comment section to listen and remember/articulate what she is saying😭😭😭. But that’s just how it’s always been for me not being able to focus enough to complete things enough to get credit at school, forgetting stuff, having an organization system based on disorganization and that I know it’s some where on the ground. But then I realize I lost my phone some where, so I lean over to see if I can see my phone the ground of my floor, but then My leg is practically burning off from my spilled hot coffee that I’ve apparently had in my hand the whole time, however the big inconvenience is that my organization system based on disorganization is ruined because my clothes, carpet, paperwork, and some other random stuff had been stained by the coffee. So now I have to clean up my coffee stain so I get up to get a moist Towlet to clean it up and cleaner stuff for the carpet, however in the process of getting up I yet again spilled my coffee, because I forgot I had it in my hand even though I saw it in my hand, but my brain didn’t process it even after the first coffee spill in my fish tank and all my fish died 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
How funny the same exact thing happened to me a few minutes ago
I'm 37 w/ ADHD and I had no idea that emotional disregulation was part of it. I have done CBT and other therapies over the years, and have discussed my emotional issues with different mental health professionals, but they never explained that it's related to my ADHD. Thank you for explaining this, understanding the how and why is a big step towards better management. I have found many coping skills that help, and keeping a log/journal is a useful tool. Mindfulness is big. But yes the ADHD & emotional disregulation still makes daily life difficult. Thank you for posting this video to help us and neurotypicals have a better understanding.
YES YES YES. for me, emotional dysregulation is one of the most crippling parte of adhd... I'm about half way through the video so I'm not sure if you included this but i would LOVE to see a video on RSD (rejection sensitivity dysphoria)
I found resources for people with BPD really helpfully.
I believe BPD is the emotional side of ADHD but it is thought as a different disorder.
jewelzdany1 yes please do! rsd is such a big part of my life and its so hard to manage it, i haven't seen many resources about it so if would be super helpful
Mr Misanthrope People with ADHD have normal emotions but have a hard time controlling them. With BPD, the emotions themselves are wilder AND they're harder to control. (Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor.)
invadercspy how would you tell the difference , it really just semantics .
Mr Misanthrope bipolar cycles are just that, cycles that last for days. adhd emotional dysregulation is not like that, more like over/under reactions to stimuli... not prolonged reactions like bpd
You should talk about rejection sensitive dysphoria some time! I rarely see people talk about it but its super common in Adhd people.
Chronically Emmett I tried to search that on UA-cam to learn more about it, ... found myself coming back to read your comment about 5 times before I actually fully remembered each word lol
@@alegriart it is weirdly specific that's true, but it is BC it's s big part of a persons emotional life when they have ADHD. RSD basically means that that person reacts very intensely to rejection or what they perceive to be rejection. ADHD people might be emotionally highly wired but have it not be specific about rejection, while ADHD people with RSD react very strongly to rejection or perceived rejection. I hope I'm making sense, English isn't my first language so sorry if it sounds choppy
@@alegriart oh I know that one as well - even tho I've never been able to befriend socially "higher up" people, bc I just existed in my own world, not saying better or worse but I never even got to a potential friend basis with those people around me
Oh my gosh, YES! I’ve lived my life feeling I’m “TOO sensitive…” This video is super helpful, thank you!! *Meanwhile, I actually don’t have a diagnosis yet - at 46 - but honestly, mostly from watching YOUR amazing videos, it is crystal clear to me that I have ADHD. I think I will pursue a diagnosis soon… and in the meantime, I’m just trying to be easier on myself and kinder to myself, as I’m realizing more and more what I have likely been up against my whole life! So it’s time to work more WITH my brain rather than against it… anyway, just wanted to share and say thank you. Your videos - and whole channel - have had a tremendously positive impact on me, and I truly appreciate you, Jessica. 😍
I’m 47 and have been diagnosed for a little less than 20 years. The diagnosis was so helpful for me to understand myself.
Why would you need a diagnosis to understand/accept yourself? Self- labelling from outside criteria seems counterintuitive.
@eg I feel quite like Jordan does, I will try and explain from my point of view...
The only person that said 'need' a diagnosis was you. Jordan said he will likely pursue one and the 47yr old with a diagnosis described it as helpful. Let's establish some common truths so that we can have an honest conversation alright.
For me, I have been trying to limit my sugar intake to almost zero. In the last 48 hours I have learned I am a posterboy for adult ADHD. In the same first 10 minutes I had ever spent learning anything about it I learned I need to have a little sugar constantly.
That may be what Jordan means about working with his brain.
When it comes to a proper diagnosis; when I want to take a flight I delegate that task to a person with a relevant education by hiring a pilot.
I dont watch a couple of videos and think "I've got this."🤓
This video is life-changing. I think cPTSD has a role to play as well for many of us, but learning that it is a known fact that people with ADHD can have unusually strong emotional responses warms my heart. All my life I've felt shame for my 'overreactions', but I can't control how I feel. I'm determined to see my ADHD diagnosis through, no matter how long it takes. Thank you so much for making these videos.
| think Barkley's description of ADHD as executive function deficit disorder is really awesome!
Yes!!! Me too!!! For the first time it really clicked with me in my head!!! So well put!!! Agreed!!
I was diagnosed with ADHD, and I struggled a lot with emotional dysregulation. I remember being bullied in 3rd and 4th grade because I was really emotional, and it was easy for the bullies to get a reaction out of me. Over time, I became ashamed of my emotions and tried to bottle them up. Now , it’s a toss up between lethargy (depression) and emotional breakdowns.
Sailor Enthusiast DUDE THATS ME. RIGHT NOW ALL THE TIME. I’m bungee-jumping from absolute emotional repression and total incapacitation from breakdowns. Help!!!
This is so my struggle since having my daughter. I simply lack the time with my ADHD and also emotional dysregulation 5 y.o. to soothe myself, let alone teach her to help herself. We are an emotional mess. My poor husband gets caught in the middle and does not know what to do to help.
I sincerely hope you guys are doing much better now. It's been a while, have you figured out some healthy coping strategies? 🌟
As a kid, I was ostracized a lot, so at recess, I ended up acting like a dinosaur and chasing everyone around.
Sending light and love to everyone one!!!
I cry at everything no matter what my emotion is. I have no idea how to stop the tears!
Yometoofuckkk
My ADHD is hellish. It's to the point where I dislike having strong emotions entirely. Although, also having Asperger's on top of that probably isn't helping.
Happiness/Excitement: I just want to calm down
Jealously/Regret: Causes low-self esteem
And the list goes on and on and I don't want to ramble tbh
I used to think "mental illness" was an exaggeration for ADHD but now I can realize how much damage it's actually causing to me.
My adhd dose the opposite to where most of the time I feel extremely week emotions
haha, same! i’m crying right now
i either cry and cry and cry or feel nothing at all. no in between.
Just been diagnosed with it. My whole life and why I am the way I am makes so much sense now. I’ve struggled with loving myself for so many years because no one in my life knew how to deal with me and my insane emotions. I felt like I was just a horrible person.
Excited to finally start learning about & working on dealing with this!
I like swearing, not because it makes people feel sad, it is one of the most appropriate visualizations of my anger usually, if I'm angry i will swear, curse, swearing also means your telling the truth of how you feel, not just saying "immmm ok..."
I love cussing too.
Omg me
Hit the likes at the words "I've always been told I was too sesitive" (then posted this comment)
Well, i guess that's were most pervasive mental health problems come from...It is about the emotional and psychological invalidation experienced by the child from the primary care giver(parents) which rejects the reality and inner experiences of the child and so he/she grows into adulthood with that trauma which manifests itself as a neurodevelopmental or personality disorder depending on the genetics and the severity and length of the mistreatment faced by the child. Actually ADHD shares some common traits with BPD and adult patients with the former are misdiagnosed with the later or vice versa
I recently broke up with my partner, and I can remember being in the middle of a huge argument (normally caused because I was bored) and then totally forgetting why we were arguing/what I said/ what he said/ what I actually wanted to achieve. It was so frustrating but also hard to not want to move instantly on and just snap back to being happy. GAH
I can totally relate
Hello to the person who got distracted and came to the comments
Hi 👋
I hate it here
You cracked me up!!😂 That’s totally how I ended up in the comments!😂
"it's called mindfulness"
*remembers a time I did a mindfulness activity*
*_bursts out laughing_*
*remembers video*
oh
SAME
Oddly enough, my therapist encouraged me to indulge my hobby of model making as a mindfulness activity. It seems to be working.
Did she say that in the video?
I feel like you are speaking to me personally.
Everytime you say something I’m like “YES”
Literally learn so much, keep it up
I feel kind of insane seeing as I do literally everything you recommend as I had been trying hard to cope for years. I use to be super high functioning. I think it got worse over time with stress. Now I am going to get properly diagnosed for cbt and try medication. Wanting to focus on things like editing youtube videos, and keep going to school while my head is so into living life and achieving new heights all the time can be so much. I use to be able to do it all but now my brain just clouds with certain things and I get tired just doing a few things. I end up crying from anxiety and getting depressed if I force certain things on my brain. But I had always just been super sensitive in general. Just not to that degree before 😅
Hello! may I ask how are you doing now? I'm going through a similar situation
same !
Same. And... What is cbt?
@@aisorymizy1580 It means Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
@@crisrodriguez5693 oh cool thanks
I also have to add that DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy) is also a wonderful tool for helping those who have a hard time regulating emotions among other things. I've gone through years of CBT with very little progress but once I started with DBT, my progress with keeping my emotions and impulses in check has skyrocketed. It's also a nice tool box just to help with every day situations. Honestly, I think DBT should be put into schools. DBT tends to boil down to skills that I can use throughout my day/life and as someone in his 30s who's lived with the diagnosis since 5 years old, any skills or tools that can help me get through my day is something I'll latch onto.
DBT has helped me a lot. I tried CBT first and couldn't put my finger on why it didn't work for me. I think the thing is, you can't just 'logic away' your emotions if you have trouble regulating them. DBT addresses the validity of your emotions and then tells you how to move forward.
I literally get emotional whenever I see a child/baby or animal when I’m working or whatever. If I stop and look at then or think about how cute/little they are, I have this emotional facial expression and I feel tears coming and I’m always confused by it. Like, why am I about to cry because I told this woman her kid was cute? Or when I read something, idk a book or something someone wrote on the internet, something cute/sad or whatever... I’ll get TOO emotional and it’s like I can’t deal with it and my body starts shaking?? I don’t even notice it sometimes until I realize I’m literally trembling kinda violently and like, more than is was just really cold. It’s the weirdest thinnng! I hate it, it’s disturbing, I can’t control my body and I can’t focus on what I’m reading, so I have to either stop for a little while or push through😅
Yup thats how went vegan... saw a pig play with a ball and cried
I totally get it!!! The only thing different for me is that when I see the babies I get so happy! And then I want to play with them because everything is so new to them! Therefore, I use that emotion into having a career with babies and children! I get what you said about the extreme emotions! I have bipolar disorder, and it was not until I began therapy and medication that I could do this! I was so weighed down by the depression and anxiety.
You sound like a very loving person! Appreciative too! Nothing wrong with that!
Girlllll this is meeeee
Whoa, I thought I was super weird for that! 🤯
“Most of us do have ways to self soothe, but they’re not always healthy” actually me tho. *fails history goes and buys a bag of m&ms and shovels it into mouth crying*
Mood
ya I understand that my "self soothe" is usually never trying my hardest so that I can always lessen the impact of failure by saying I could have done it if I had actually tried.
This is painfully relatable
I have bought three cars, on different occasions... not the best decision you could say
@@vaughnmonkey same (in addition to the eating). And that is why I basically flunked out of college (left before I could properly flunk out) and gained like 20 lbs
Even though emotional symptoms aren't part of the diagnostic criteria people that seek help for those symptoms are diagnosed with *BPD* instead and their ADHD symptoms are ignored.
Girls tend to be diagnosed with BPD while boys tends to be diagnosed with ADHD.
Happened to me, except bipolar. Mainly I had meltdowns a lot and school avoidance, depression, self-harm, anxiety. I really don't recommend the experience of being on antidepressants and mood stabilizers that do nothing but give you side-effects for 7 years on and off while your ADHD is going totally unchecked. During that time I dropped out of high school, lost all my friends, picked up a few bad habits, flunked out of college. Diagnosed with ADHD at 19 and a little adderall makes me a straight A student. Kinda feels like I was robbed of a normal childhood tbh.
Girls with aspergers syndrome are usually diagnosed with BPD before the doctor realises they are actually autistic or on the spectrum , there seems to be something very sexist going on with the diagnosis of bpd.
I was diagnosed bipolar 2 for being overemotional.. :(
It's the intense emotions
My dad used to get SO mad at me as a kid. I am, and always have been, SUPER emotional and cannot control my emotions. He was the "I'll give you something to cry about" type, and being as emotional as I am, I heard that line A LOT!!!!
Love this. Always get called immature for my emotions and I hate it. Wish people would take the time to understand more
Unfortunately our only options are to get better or keep getting pressure from other people
This makes so much sense!!!! And also explains How I was Misdiagnosed in my mid 20s, with Borderline Personality Disorder. I can see how they can be mistaken, especially with Anxiety and Depression also being present, due to struggling for so long with no support or understanding of the way my brain worked! By my mid 20s, I had my "Emotional breakdown" as I call it. I almost lost my job, I was in active drug addiction, and ended up at a Psychiatrist who diagnosed me with like 6 or 7 different things. I went to an "Emotion Regulation" therapy course.... And it really did help, and made a HUGE difference. but something still didn't feel right about my Diagnoses.... I didn't quite match the BPD profile, well I did... At that moment... But only for that season of my life. Come to find, after MUCH research, all the symptoms I was having, were a result of going 32 years undiagnosed/treated for my ADHD............
Wow, finally some sort of road map! I'm 55 yrs old and have been doing this on my own for a very long time self taught how to handle a lot of what you just described.. Some of the things that I saw and heard here and saw on your Ted podcast described me to a tee. Made me realize that I'm not the only one out there . I've subscribed to your channel. BTW I have always been wondering why I am this way why I do some of the things I do, now maybe I can get a little light on the subject. Used a lot of the tricks you explained with out even realizing that they are methods to handle ADHD. I'm very smart and like to think outside the box all the time. My current job is to solve very complex issues and I'm good at it especially when it's critically important, Kicked out of school so many times in the 70s drove my mother to drink. And life long friend who's has known me for 50+ years describes me perfectly to my wife all the time. Just to make sure she gets it, Btw I've been married to the same girl for 32 years can you imagine what she's been through :)
My god it's like talking to another life long friend! Thank you
Brad Marlin Hi! I’m a 55 yo brain!
I call us (GR)A(Y)DHDers!
its a good thing she makes these short because now i can watch one of these videos in 14 minutes rather than 30.
My parents are always telling me that I overreact or I'm too affected by something and it makes me feel really bad. I try to control myself, but I end up reacting anyways so I just have to do damage control. I'm considering going to behavioral therapy for it
Maybe you could also show them this video? So that they understand better?
Ispassion,apreciation,admiration wrong??? I think its just as normal as a poker face,intitled ingrate that is to scared to show emos!! Moutons!!!!
Sorry Nix, my comment was towards ....people ingeneral. I reread and saw the word PARENTS.......oooops! Not intended to be rude to your parents! I better slow down on reading!!!!
I can’t believe it’s 6am and I think I’m over here harmlessly looking up videos on how to regulate sadness and my mind is getting blown every second with how much I needed to hear some of this and know I wasn’t alone in it 😅 thank you for leaving me feeling validated in my experiences and a little more educated on this as well
I’ve been going down a youtube rabbit hole after my friend was getting her diagnosis and this was the video that eventually made me cry. I’m about to make an appointment but just the thought that maybe there’s a name for what i’m experiencing and that i don’t have to keep living like this makes me so emotional thank you so much
I only started medication 5 months ago. In the first hour, I realized how well my emotions were regulated as I was in a pretty triggering situation and handled it WAYYY better than I normally would have. I tired anti-depressants in the past and had mixed results. Some of them were actually horrible. What I love and ADHD medication is that I feel the same way about an issue, but with emotional regulation I now can think more rationally about it and make better decisions. LIFE CHANGING!!!!
Which med are you using?
Hey luv you've saved my life few times within the last few months (since I discoverd that I'm ADHD and started studying it).
There's nothing else to say than THANK YOU!
Hi, I'm an English teacher in an underserved School in Aurora Illinois. I have a brilliant student who has ADHD and wrote an amazing poem about his experience and the misconceptions about people with ADHD. I was wondering if you would be willing to read it and see what you think of it. This brilliant young man deserves some exposure and the ability to take pride in his work. Could I send it to you somehow?
Can we hear the poem?! I'm interested.
Wow ! You are the kind of the teacher the world deserves . Thank you Sir ...as an ADHD girl ( diagnosed recently , I'm an adult ) teachers hated me with vengeance .
Mike, I would love to hear it as well.
I adore you for being a teacher who takes time to understand individuals with ADHD
Where is the poem?
This video is so relevant to my current struggle. You hit every nail on the head with everything you’ve said. It’s amazing to have reassurance from you and the community. Makes me feel less weird or strange. The emotion tracker is such a good idea and I will definitely try!
Conner Skeen yep! Same!
On the other hand, we tend to understand other people's emotions so much better!
We tend to understand how other people work mentally
It's like we have these antennas that picks up things other people miss when interacting with others. We recognize how people respond to things, even when they doesn't say anything!
These things might not always apply to situations where we are directly involved, like in relationships, though
Howdy y’all! I have never really made comments on UA-cam much before but I wanted to say thanks for bringing such a positive awareness to ADHD!! you’re videos have helped my wife to better understand me and for me to better understand myself.
I was diagnosed about 4-5 years ago and never really figured out what t was all about. Recently I started studying and figured out just how deeply it affects my life. Stuff I thought I was just crazy for now has reasoning and makes sense!
Thank you so much for this today Jessica. I had a spat with my fiance and was frustrated with myself that I was so frustrated with the situation. Especially since it was communication related and the past few days we had been working really hard on improving communication.
lol I say this: “my emotional dysregulation is firing on high today” when it is and I let my friends and support team know so that they know I’m feeling extra feelingsy that day lol
Nik in The Midwest that’s awesome!!!
I straight up cry every time I watch an episode
I'm usually referred to as one of the chillest people my acquaintances know, and I think it's in part due to my ADHD. I feel a dullness, a disconnect, like I have to try harder to get upset on people's behalf like others do so easily. Empathy was learned for me, I have to actively take time to think and put myself in someone's shoes before I can feel sympathy for someone most of the time. Yet my anxiety is really bad and I am a very sensitive person to any sort of criticism. I'm a lot different on my meds. I become a lot more empathetic and almost embarrassingly kind. I overdo it and I feel like I'm smothering. I feel the urge to connect with and help people in any way I can on my meds when I'm usually not normally. It's like night and day. This is why I think it's my ADHD that makes me such an introverted cool cucumber. It's very interesting, I just wish I could find a happy neutral
Thank you!
On my performance evaluation, my boss wrote: "tends to express negative thoughts verbally and non-verbally."
Could you please consider making a video on ADHD and adulting? Like, having an office job or working within an organization with "policies and procedures" 😯
Thanks plenty ❤️
Ginger Ed and schools for the kids here
Sa'ed Abu-Haltam damn that woud be a hard job for me lol i canot talk with strangers totaly introvert when in public lol
Everyone has always told me I'm too sensitive which of course makes me even more upset. This has led to a life of internalizing my emotions and never dealing with them cause at the time it seemed better than constantly being criticized for being emotional.
No one has EVER taught me the steps of emotional regulation. Just hearing them described helps so much in realizing what is in my power to do literally anything about my struggles with them! Thank you!
WOW! This was a real eye-opener to me. I have ADHD and (I strongly suspect) my mom had ADHD - the same kind even (inattentive), and we both had this same problem. I always thought of the emotional outbursts as a separate thing. This is very helpful knowledge; thank you.
sounds like you and your mom are pmsing and also in sync.
"Interesting, I'll consider that"...this is something I read in a management book. A How-to guide on leadership. This gives me time to consider, without compulsively blurting out, and they respectfully are replied to. I've found this phrase to be a very helpful tool :)
Great idea. If you ever remember the name of that book, please tell me. If only they would make a book like this for people with ADHD and social anxiety
I love how you made your ADHD a guide for others who struggle with it or have a love one who has it. Even you were diagnosed later you also have the experience of being a layman(not sure if that is the right world to use) in ADHD. I just love your videos, so helpful, so informative
"Me acting impulsively on my emotions is the reason this channel exists."
That one hit hard. ❤
.... Meanwhile I've spent my life beating myself down to shape myself into the perfect quiet kid ... Oops.
Foxy Turnez oof, hope you can take the time to heal yourself! :)
Same! I’m almost grateful I dealt with crippling social anxiety during my teen years and was physically incapable of speaking what was on my mind . . . If I had, it definitely would have gotten me in some trouble.
RIGHT?!
Can you do a video about ADHD and Auditory Processing Disorders?
Erin Crane I'll second this. APD is a huge issue for me though I've developed a lot of coping mechanisms for it, and is the cause for a lot of anxiety about talking to people on phones.
Osric250 Me too. And since I never hear anyone talk about it, it makes having to explain that you didn't understand what they said more difficult. It's honestly nice to see that someone else struggles with this as well, a lot of the time it seems like I'm the only one since nobody ever talks about it
Erin Crane I've seen it brought up several times over on reddit, in fact that's where I learned what it was called. There's enough that I expect a decently high comorbidity rate with us.
Interesting. I used to think I had hearing issues, but it just takes me like an extra second to process what someone says. I feel annoying sometimes with asking people to repeat... and that's when I'm actually able to focus and properly listen.
I'm also starting to have dyslexia symptoms, which I never had before. I take notes at university, and I have to write very fast, so I often make typos or skip letters and have to erase. I'm scared of how my ADHD keeps developing.
@Petit Abricot see if your university offers note takers. At my school they have other students volunteer to give their notes through counselling services.
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
YES very sure of bergwilly11__. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
@@jorgparker2463Is he on instegram?
Microdosing helped me get out of the pit of my worst depressive episode, a three year long episode, enough to start working on my mental health.
I think my current relationship is falling apart due to my emotional dysregulation, this channel has made some things so clear for me. Thank you for not making me feel so alone out there.
I LOVE THIS GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank u for making me feel normal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And happy at the same time!!! :-D Ive GOT to get my son hooked up with your videos/therapy! Hes got ADHD SOO BAD he cant even find the right words to get his feelings and emotions out so it turns into ANGER and self-degradation dragging us down with him!!!!! TOXIC OVERLOAD!!! Good news though since he started maturing now hes 16, his reactions to his anger and the effects are shorter lived and hes even able to ask me for a hug when hes upset WHICH IS HUGE SINCE IN THE LAST 2 YRS HE WONT LET ME HUG HIM! He used to be in therapy but he doesnt have insurance now and we dont have to pay $114.00 per hour each week for it!!! :( So we are turning to things like this to help us both get thru.... :-) You are AWESOME Thank U for what u do!!!!!
I almost cried because I lost three hats today.
Thank you for this, it helped me understand more of why things like that happen to me :) .
I just wanted to reach out and say thank you for doing what you are doing! I struggle with emotional dysregulation and I started my own channel to help others learn from my mistakes and not be afraid to take the steps to get help. I literally laughed through this whole video because ouch... it's like you know me! My channel is called Here Today Hope Tomorrow. I would love to chat with you sometime about your struggles with ADHD and comorbidities. It's nice to not feel alone in our struggles!
I've just recently been diagnosed with ADHD, and this is super helpful! Thank you. I appreciate how fast you talk, with all the visuals, which help me focus!
My self soothing (especially after anger) is... extremely unhealthy. I have to regulate physically, so when I’m angry I always end up hurting myself and sometimes other things.
Self soothing is not related to ADHD. It’s something EVERY SINGLE HUMAN does. This person doesn’t really know what she’s talking about, unfortunately.
This is so helpful! Found your channel through a Ted talk that you did. My 11 year old daughter has ADHD and her emotions are extreme!! Her dad also has ADHD as well but yet he seems to be the most impatient with her instead of being able to relate to her. Thanks so much for this info and this channel!! Helping me a ton to know how to parent an ADHD girl.
I really appreciate your videos. They have helped me understand my child and myself better.
Your energy and sense of humor are both perfect for your messages.
Keep up the good work.
I'm going back through these old videos and having also read your book, I just want to say thank you.... again.... because these videos make it so clear why I can't do what I can't do and why that is actually "normal" for me. It's helping me to stop beating myself up about those things but to be more aware of the potholes. As a teacher, it's also helping me to make these things explicit to my student(s) with ADHD so that they don't beat themselves up either. 💜
The executive functioning portion of things is my biggest issue.
Mine too
Wow, I had no idea this was a thing!!!thank you so much!!!! No wonder I am always "over dramatic" about everything (which I what my WHOLE family says😂) thank you so much!!!!
This video came at the perfect time for me!!!
I experience a lot of changes in my life right now, and it's a quite overwhelming experience!!!
And this triggers all sorts of emotions - both good and bad...
I've always been (extremely) emotional - but have never been good at expressing my feelings "in the right way".
Even though I've lived my whole life with ADHD (I'm 45 years old, didn't get diagnosed until last year!!), I'm still trying to understand all of my "challenges".
But, thanks to you guys, I'm glad to repeatedly get confirmation, that I'm "normal" (in a ADHD sense). ;)
Love you guys. You're THE BEST!!!
+
Some here
I have suffered with ADD since adolescence. You just explained so much for me. I have never fully understood the depth of my disability. Thank you so much. I have experienced so much self-blame over my life time and very few people have been sympathetic when I have tried to explain my condition. Thank you, you may be saving what remains of my life with this knowledge. I finally feel motivated to seek medical help and to learn more about how to cope with this. I definitely have had emotional dysregulation and so much of what you describe fits with my experience. This condition has damaged so much of my life in ways I am only now beginning to realize. Many treat AD/HD like its nothing serious, or just an excuse for someone who doesn't try or who is lazy. When in truth it is so debilitating and much more serious than many realize.