The Struggle: an Art Process Video Influenced by Unknown Trauma Triggers + tips on trauma recovery.

This is an art process video of a mixed media painting. The starting point is a doodle done in a black sharpie, which I add onto with Caran d'Ache neocolor 2 crayons, Rosa Gallery watercolors, collage, water soluable pencils, a china marker, pan pastels, oil pastels, distress oxide sprays, metallic watercolors, crackle paste and gloss glaze medium. I do make use of my geli plate directly onto the painting, but not successfully other than to tone it down. I struggled with this painting, which is why I came up with the name, "The Struggle." I went back and forth between bright colors and dull colors. I made marks I eventually covered up. I did and undid. I struggled with a chaotic looking painting or the "messy middle" for the majority of the time. Eventually, I realized that unresolved trauma was trying to speak out in my art-making despite me being in an upbeat, bright, playful, and energetic mood. I gave my trauma a voice. I gave it an expression. The conflicts resolved, and this turned into a beautiful painting that I am happy with. Towards the end, I began to speak words of healing and encouragement to myself and to the viewers. I released prayers. I felt the anointing of God come upon me. I gave tips about recovering from complex trauma. This video will be most useful for those of you struggling with complex trauma, but others might find it interesting to see how the trauma plays out in art making. Despite the heavy theme, this is a fun video, and my approach is very playful, intuitive, and childlike. I narrate my entire process. It is a long video, about an hour and 23 minutes, so grab a cup of coffee or tea and sit down and watch it when you have some time or make some art alongside me. I've divided it into chapters to make it easier for you, and in case you can't watch it all in one sitting. Be blessed!
I'm going to give a possible trigger warning because of the subject matter, although more so I think it will be helpful. Maybe only one word in a subtitle describing my abuse in general terms could be triggering.
Chapters:
00:00:00:00 Chapter 1: Introduction
00:02:20:21 Chapter 2: Adding Watercolor Crayons to a Doodle
00:08:06:16 Chapter 3: Adding Watercolor Paints
00:09:54:29 Chapter 4: Adding Distress Oxide Sprays; First Round
00:10:40:24 Chapter 5: Adding Collage
00:22:05:19 Chapter 6: Adding Oil Pastels
00:25:46:20 Chapter 7: Using the Gel Plate with Stamps
00:29:11:23 Chapter 8: Adding a Transparent Glaze to Pull a Print on the Gel Plate
00:31:05:14 Chapter 9: Adding a Collage to the Back While the Gel Print Dries
00:34:32:20 Chapter 10: Pulling the Gel Print
00:35:36:25 Chapter 11: Adding More Collage
00:39:20:06 Chapter 12: Using Leftover Glaze to Tone Things Down
00:40:31:02 Chapter 13: Adding More Oil Pastels
00:43:52:09 Chapter 14: Adding More Distress Oxide Sprays; 2nd Round
00:45:31:06 Chapter 15: Adding Stamps
00:46:52:20 Chapter 16: Adding Panpastels through Stencils
00:49:03:23 Chapter 17:Adding Crackle Paste through Stencils
00:53:32:16 Chapter 18: 3rd Round of Distress Oxide Sprays
00:56:28:17 Chapter 19: Adding Metallic Watercolors, China Markers, and Water Soluble Pencils
00:57:30:08 Chapter 20: Reflection and Tips on Healing for Complex Trauma
01:04:06:23 Chapter 21: What God Shows Me in the Art; Encouragement from God
01:20:31:01 Chapter 22: The Final Results and More Encouragement
Music credits:
Eyes Closed, Tobias Voigt
Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
uppbeat.io/t/tobias-voigt/eye...
License code: FEA9U2RMXDYW0CMS
Blessedness by Sound Jewel
Candlelight Acoustic by Sound Ideas
Revival by Papercastle, RC Music
Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
uppbeat.io/t/papercastle/revival
License code: 35VDTW0TZ20PCOAQ

[@christinecrow1410]

In this painting, I feel many emotions. I love it. It's beautiful. Thank you. ❤