Tasha's Trench Tango - WARHAMMER 40K

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  • Опубліковано 7 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 38

  • @h34rtk0rps
    @h34rtk0rps  Місяць тому +32

    Storytime:
    The trenches were alive with chaos, the kind only an Ork WAAAGH! could bring. Mud flew, lasguns barked, and Corporal Tasha-graceful, beautiful, and dangerously playful-was doing what she did best: keeping the greenskins at bay while thoroughly annoying her commanding officer.
    “Corporal Tasha!” Commissar Grimsworth’s voice cut through the din like a chainsword through butter. “Get your tail down and stop prancing about! This is war, not a blasted circus!”
    Tasha, perched precariously on a sandbag, her tail flicking behind her like a metronome, turned and flashed him a grin. “Aw, Commissar, don’t be jealous just ‘cause I look good doing it!” She fired a lasbolt over her shoulder, dropping an Ork mid-charge. “See? Multitasking!”
    Grimsworth’s face went from its usual shade of pale annoyance to a lovely beetroot hue. “You insolent-”
    “INCOMING!” The shout came from Mikey, the regiment’s sarcastic Ratling sniper, who was casually leaning against a trench wall and picking off Orks like it was target practice at the fair.
    Tasha sprang into action, vaulting off the sandbag just as an Ork shell exploded where she’d been sitting. She landed neatly beside Brakk, the towering Ogryn, who was currently using a piece of scrap metal as an impromptu shield.
    “Did you see that, Brakk? Perfect ten!” she said, giving him a wink.
    Brakk scratched his head, his massive hand nearly knocking his helmet off. “What’s a ten?”
    “Never mind, big guy,” Tasha said, patting his arm. “Just keep smashing.”
    Grimsworth stormed into the trench, his pristine greatcoat somehow still immaculate despite the mud and blood flying everywhere. He planted himself in front of Tasha, his scowl so severe it looked like his face might fold in on itself.
    “Corporal Tasha,” he growled, “your insubordination is becoming a liability to this regiment. And you,” he jabbed a finger at Brakk, who was busy reloading his ripper gun, “are an embarrassment to the Emperor’s service! Stand up straight, you lumbering buffoon!”
    Brakk looked down at the Commissar, blinking slowly. “Brakk stands straight. You just small.”
    Mikey snorted so hard he nearly fell off his perch. “Oh, he’s got you there, Grimsworth.”
    “Silence!” the Commissar barked. “I will not have my authority questioned by a mutant, a freak, and-”
    He never got to finish that sentence because at that moment, an Ork grenade sailed into the trench and landed squarely at the Commissar’s feet.
    “GRENADE!” Tasha yelled, diving out of the way.
    Brakk, however, didn’t flinch. He picked up the grenade, inspected it like it was a strange piece of fruit, and then, with surprising precision, lobbed it straight at the Commissar.
    “Here, Commissar! You drop this!”
    The Commissar’s face contorted in terror as the grenade exploded, sending him flying out of the trench and into a nearby mud puddle. When the smoke cleared, all that remained of Grimsworth’s dignity was his hat, which Brakk dutifully picked up and placed on his own oversized head.
    “Tasha,” Brakk said, grinning proudly, “I fixed Commissar!”
    Mikey doubled over with laughter, nearly choking on a mouthful of ration bar. “You sure did, big guy. You sure did.”
    Their celebration was cut short by a deafening roar as a massive Ork Warboss emerged from the smoke, riding what could only be described as a mechanical crab. The monstrosity clattered toward the trench, its metal claws snapping menacingly.
    “Oh, for the love of the Emperor,” Tasha muttered, her ears flattening. “Where do they even find these things?”
    The Warboss pointed a claw at her. “Dat one! Da cat ‘oomie! She’s mine!”
    Tasha rolled her eyes. “Great. Another fan.”
    Brakk stepped forward, ripper gun blazing. “No touch Tasha!”
    The Warboss laughed, the mechanical crab skittering closer. “You fink you can stop me, you big dum-dum? I’m da biggest, da baddest, and-”
    Before he could finish, Mikey took aim and shot the Warboss square in the rear.
    The Ork yelped, losing his balance, and the crab bucked, throwing him off. Tasha seized the moment, leaping onto the crab’s back with feline agility.
    “Alright, big guy,” she purred, “Let’s see how you handle a real rider.”
    The crab, confused but oddly compliant, started spinning in circles as Tasha steered it directly into the Ork lines.
    By the time the dust settled, the trench was littered with crab parts, Ork bodies, and a very dazed Warboss. Tasha hopped down, dusting herself off.
    “Not bad for a day’s work,” she said, her tail swishing happily.
    Brakk handed her the Commissar’s hat, which he’d been wearing sideways. “You want this back, Tasha?”
    She grinned, placing it on her head at a jaunty angle. “Thanks, Brakk. I think it suits me better anyway.”
    Mikey leaned against the trench wall, shaking his head. “You’re insane, you know that?”
    “Maybe,” Tasha said, winking. “But you love me for it.”
    The three of them laughed, their camaraderie shining bright in the grim darkness of the 41st Millennium. And somewhere in the mud behind them, a very soggy Commissar Grimsworth groaned.

  • @quinnhasse9170
    @quinnhasse9170 Місяць тому +39

    this will be good.
    imagine they meet noise marines and tasha challenges them to a dance fight/ music battle and she plays this.

    • @h34rtk0rps
      @h34rtk0rps  Місяць тому +11

      Hahahaha you know, that's a great idea 😂

    • @misterhyde2817
      @misterhyde2817 Місяць тому +3

      Forget about the dance fight just make it a full-blown rap battle

  • @greenfoxgrasstail2534
    @greenfoxgrasstail2534 Місяць тому +12

    Tasha would get Trench Paw for sure xD.
    Those boots aint protecting the paw pads.

  • @h34rtk0rps
    @h34rtk0rps  Місяць тому +3

    Part 2 coming in a few days, just finishing up a few things

  • @conradsmight2220
    @conradsmight2220 Місяць тому +14

    I am confused but entertained

  • @brandedone5188
    @brandedone5188 Місяць тому +20

    And here I thought I had a fun idea with my custom Imperial Knight house...it's a jam either way! Well done.

  • @shigurekago103
    @shigurekago103 Місяць тому +23

    We need Felinid minis like Tash 😂

    • @sovereign6291
      @sovereign6291 Місяць тому

      There's an entire Cat Girl Imperial Guard product line on Etsy if your interested. They're Valhallan looking except the Commissars iirc.

    • @greenfoxgrasstail2534
      @greenfoxgrasstail2534 23 дні тому +1

      Sadly Anime Warhammer is just fan stuff.
      GW correct felinids... are more like thunder cats with hair problem and abusive relationships.
      It's still warhammer, really dark and grimmy.

    • @shigurekago103
      @shigurekago103 23 дні тому

      @greenfoxgrasstail2534 nah they need a re-design to make them look like cat girls

    • @greenfoxgrasstail2534
      @greenfoxgrasstail2534 23 дні тому +1

      @@shigurekago103 Would sell. But GW is to stuck on their lore. xD

  • @ryanabernathy7821
    @ryanabernathy7821 Місяць тому +7

    We're holdin the line with this one boys and gals!

  • @germanmandalorian3514
    @germanmandalorian3514 Місяць тому +5

    Three Times a Husa for our Demihuman Auxillares! HUSA! HUSA! HUSA!

  • @hungthinhnguyen621
    @hungthinhnguyen621 Місяць тому +1

    Ahhh yes, the Sassquad

  • @commissarkilroyvonlatwick6996
    @commissarkilroyvonlatwick6996 8 днів тому

    Abhumans a useful tool for the Imperium.

  • @SupCom78
    @SupCom78 Місяць тому +3

    great song and so funny ;)

  • @ericwhite553
    @ericwhite553 Місяць тому +5

    Is this part of a book? I must have missed a Felinid MC, but honestly it sounds like a good story.
    Brakk sounds like the real MVP, I want to know more about this squad.

    • @h34rtk0rps
      @h34rtk0rps  Місяць тому +2

      Thanks! It's my own story actually haha I'm glad you like it! Wanted to do something light hearted and fun set in the grim darkness of the 41 millennium

    • @ericwhite553
      @ericwhite553 Місяць тому +2

      @@h34rtk0rps I love them all, they deserve a full story

  • @H4zardWarning
    @H4zardWarning Місяць тому +3

    . . . . i need a catgirl guard army

  • @jhr891
    @jhr891 Місяць тому +5

    I don't know what I expected...
    but definitely not this much sass 😅

  • @JeanBono-sm9zq
    @JeanBono-sm9zq Місяць тому +3

    Groovy trench 😃

  • @theguywhoasked6858
    @theguywhoasked6858 Місяць тому

    Average Tasha W

  • @skylordthe1st
    @skylordthe1st Місяць тому +1

    Um what tha sigma?

  • @xavierguerin1
    @xavierguerin1 Місяць тому +3

    Cat girls make everyfing beter😎