i honestly just think that a lot of factors and things didnt really cross their minds, maybe because they havent experienced them or maybe something like that
My mom was more upset about me eating bread in the room next to her than she was about my step dad SA’ing me lol. Some ppl’s priorities are outta whack lol.
Thing is those are all crimes and I don't think they are thinking in the crime range. Those are not controversial topics that anyone would have a different opinion about, anyone would agree that that is worse than cheating. So that wouldn't make for a very interesting video.
I hate the whole "all men want only sex" and "all women want only love" thing like its something programmed into us, when in reality, people are just looking for different types of relationships and it doesn't depend on your gender
That's why relationship coaches always say the dumbest shit and end up hurting their "clients" more than helping them. Broad generalizations of a gender are always going to be inaccurate and if you enter the dating world believing that stuff you're never gonna find someone who's right for you.
Exactly. I hooked up with a guy because I wanted something casual. He’d never had casual sex before and decided it wasn’t for him because it made him feel weird. But we’re still friends! I wasn’t interested in a romantic relationship.
@@matt6223I am a grown woman. I don't need to he disciplined, ESPECIALLY not by my partner. Thinking you have that kind of authority to "discipline" me is insane.
Lmao so true, my mind running on all the manipulation and torture that is possible and exists in relationships. There's some terrifying shit out there, I'd much rather someone break my trust and let me end it with some emotional scars than someone break my arm to keep me from leaving with real scars
@@fionahunter1669yea, i was thinking like i want to be that delusional like them and not immediately think about physical and emotional abuse as the one of the worst things my partner could do to me
right like women aren’t murdered by their partners literally every day….. i work at a domestic abuse shelter and if cheating was the worst thing that could happen in a relationship, i simply wouldn’t have a job. maybe to men cheating is the worst thing
Seeing the red dress woman on the strongly disagree side for the cheating question made me almost hopeful that she’d finally have a decent opinion. But then she hits us with the “it’s probably the best thing they could do”. Solid
@@TarahChantelexcept she expects you to stay with that person! Which personally, I think it depends. Many things play into cheating and it just depends on the expectations set, the relationship you're in, and the boundaries each person has.
"There's a problem in the relationship you get to work out!" I don't necessarily agree with that. I would be more like, to the cheater, YOU have problems & my problem is you! 😂 I whole heartedly agree that it's never someone's fault for being cheated on. Unless the cheater expressed their needs time after time. But still.. leave that person if they're not adding to the relationship. No reason to cheat.
I think she holds the opinion that if you have kids you should stay with your spouse, but literally almost every child of divorced parents and spouses who have stayed together all say "never stay because of the kids since it'll ruin everyone's life."
As a couples therapist if that woman in the red is coaching or giving any relationship or sex advice to anyone there’s a large chance she’s doing legitimate damage to people’s lives.
Yeah the whole think of "many men suffer with lack of sex in their relatipnships"... well maybe there is a reason for that?? Maybe their partner doesn't feel valued and heard? Or anything else. Crazy take.
you should watch her debates she has where she talks more about the work she does, she’s actually unhinged. she’s debated destiny a few times and it was entertaining to say the least
yeah exactly. she's a strong believer of this feminine masculine energy type of shit that assumes everyone is heterosexual. there's so many questionable takes that she's made 😵
The idea she had that that men only want sex and only women want intimacy makes me want to gag. no sex drive is different from person to person a women can have just as high if not higher sex drive then her man. Not to mention like bi and gay people exist etc, It not about genders it’s about the individual
Right like id rather my parents get separated and be happy alone or with someone else than together and bitter lol, that’ll mess up your views on relationships
The red dress woman saying “oh so love is conditional?” YES IT IS, when it comes to romance there are certain things that your partner should not do to you especially if it’s something you are both promising to not do to each other or something that is directly harmful to you. Wtf…
yeah i just yelled "YES.... OBVIOUSLY it is" honestly apart from maybe your children your love for basically everybody is conditional. Even if the condition is just that they don't abuse you, that's still a condition
literally 😂 SOO contradictory. Because what about the cheater? His love WAS conditional towards you if he cheated. And how she was blaming the person who gets cheated on for wanting to break up the family. Like the victim didn’t break up the family… the person who went off and cheated is the one who ruined the marriage and destroyed the family. this woman has it so backwards.
I think the ultimate goal of love is to be unconditionnal, but its very rare and comes after countless trials of conditions to be sure both individuals of the relationship understand eachother
@@0111-k9m exactly!!!!!! You can have unconditional love for someone and not take their dysfunction. Love isn’t supposed to be conditional, that’s a cultural misinformed myth. A lot of that belief comes from how people are raised generally. Just because you leave doesn’t mean you love them any less but you know what is good for you and you should respect yourself because that’s the greatest love of all
I think mostly love is unconditional, but a relationship is definitely not. Like if someone cheats on you, those feelings you had aren't gone right away.
You can tell Cody’s gonna be a dad by how much he makes himself laugh with the Joel joke that really wasn’t that funny but he ran the bit so long that his own joy was contagious. Real dad joke there.
I would never be okay to be in a Polyamorous relationship but to call that man lazy... he just said one relationship is in its third year, and one is in its second year. He's putting hard work into multiple relationships.
Yea, I think the forced monogamy by society is the main reason why birthrates have been declining in the modern world. The internet has made it easier for women to be picky about who they date. So there has been this massive trend of women dating just the 1% top guys that aren’t rich, tall and have muscles. Even the girls that settle, they are just biding their time in marriage until they can get a divorce and steal the mans money. In the past you basically knew everyone in town, so there was a huge stigma about divorce and you were forced to basically choose a partner out of like 2,000 people your age near your hometown. Everyone was forced to settle and actually put the work in to commit to each other. Now, I’m not saying its wrong for women to only chase after money or the top 1% guys, but these guys have thousands of hot women throwing theirselves at them. Its really not surprising that these men are just running through women like they are prostitutes. If only society didn’t force monogamy, these men and women could have happy lifes by allowing a rich man to have many wives. If the guy is able to support that many people/families then why not? For the wives life is easier because they don’t have to have sex as frequently or spend as much effort on house chores/raising children as they could share those duties with the other wives. So what we tend to see instead is a lot of great women thinking that all guys are assholes because they’ve only ever dated top1% guys that only want sex, and rich men achieving big families using the workaround of getting divorced 3/4 times and supporting more than one family, but at the expense of him not being able to remain as a father figure in his children’s life. People should be able to choose. I really want a monogamous relationship where both people support eachother unconditionally, but society has made it so difficult to find someone like that. Everyone says they want monogamy even if they are only interested in marriage for the financial security.
yes, polyamory is hard work and requires a lot of commitment to all the partners and to the idea. the reason why it often doesn't work out for people is (except that it's not normalized so we still don't know how to navigate it and make up rules from scratch) is that it's just too much work indeed.
But in a polyamorous relationship you’re not leaning on just one person. I think that’s why it’d be easier then monogamy where you’re pretty much putting all you’re eggs in one basket
I grew up without father figure because he was abusive and unreliable partner to her and thank mum every single day for making that decision. Some people can ruin your life and your children lives if you let them manipulate you. She makes it sound as if it is universal rule for every marriage. She should stop acting like a marriage therapist and just express an opinion rather than giving lectures. Relationships are always more complicated than what it seems on surface
@mariocuric6690 i see it as a really odd way of guilting people into not divorcing their cheating partners lol. If your boundaries are crossed in such a way it can have some pretty devastating affects on your mental health and trying to repair a relationship that's been tainted like that is extremely difficult
I disagree just in regards to the first take about women and men being friends. Strictly platonic male-female relationships exist without ever being more. It was sort of homophobic/heteronotmative to say every person of the opposite sex has thought about sleeping with a friend. Its also a little mysognistic in a way. idrk
@@Jessy22296 thats what codys stance was "strictly platonic male-female relationships exist without ever being more." he was just clowning on the contestant that was saying "you never thought about it though?", but that wasn't cody's belief
@@Jessy22296 you just called a person heteronormative, homophobic and misogynistic in a single sentence without even understanding that his stance was literally the opposite and was just clowning the other contestant.
the worst part is that she talks like someone who gives relationship advice for a living. like the whole "masculine conqueror mindset" thing reminded me of the old scott cramer videos where he watched awful jean smith tedx talks. i guarantee she has tried to build a social media following around relationship advice.
The lore goes crazy in this one. There’s the guy from the guys ranking each other by dick size. There’s the guy from that video where the girl dated by body type. Then there’s the guy that’s from the body count video. Also, Jessica rabbit is here too
when they said “cheating is the worst thing my partner could do to me”, my first thought was, “well, no, my partner beat the shit out of me” - and then cody says, “what if they beat the shit out of you?” so thank you cody
She definitely does. I recognize her from another video, might’ve been jubilee, where she’s on the anti-feminists side of vs feminists. As soon as I saw her here, I knew what type of answers she was going to give.
She actually has a UA-cam channel they tagged in the original video. She makes like sex guru videos and “dating advice” a lot of her vidoe thumbnails look weird like ‘beta man cries over being sex toy’ ‘modern women’s declining value is high’ or talking about Andrew Tate.
yes because if you have any morals or use critical thinking then that makes you an alpha sigma misogynist. people like you are the reason those alpha male podcasts exist. because god forbid anyone disagrees with you on polyamory
relationships do not “get worse” , you get more comfortable , which is a good thing, but also just means you have to continue to work to maintain that spark.
As someone who has been cheated on MULTIPLE times (sucks how common it is), I agree that it is such a heart wrenching thing to go through and you process it in a different way than physical pain. It psychologically screws with you for a very long time. HOWEVER, my relationship afterwards was followed up by getting tormented physically. I had things thrown at me. Fists slammed inches to my face on the wall near me. Getting thrown against walls. Being pushed to the ground. Being yelled at and told I deserved to be cheated on by my ex. My belongings thrown away, broken, or ripped to shreds. All that is way worse than what cheating could have ever done to me. I would have honestly rather them have cheated on me.
The entire bit of him reacting to “relationships get worse” honestly really helped me. I’m in my first serious relationship and we’re just getting over the honeymoon phase and it’s been a huge struggle for me to accept that and to understand that love grows in other ways and it’s not just that exciting flirty getting to know someone phase forever. Hearing that from Cody means a lot because I adore his and Kelsey’s relationship 💜
oh my gosh I totally understand that!! I can promise you that it is work but worth it. I struggled with the change alot when my relationship went through that phase.... however i can promise you that looking back six years later that every fight or bickering moment is worth the depth of love and understanding weve gained through the process.
I’ve been with my bf for almost four years in April. I miss the honeymoon faze because it was so so sweet but I wouldn’t trade what we have now for anything. There’s nothing like growing with your partner and becoming best friends and just living side by side. It’s the greatest comfort you’ll ever experience.
Holy shit me too. I’m also in my first serious relationship and i used to get so scared of differences after the honeymoon phase. but in reality you spend so much time with that person and you’re both growing together so it’s natural that it’s not always going to be that high bar of “perfect”, flirty, excitement. you start to love that person in different ways, and i honestly think that’s so sweet:)
Relationships beyond the honeymoon phase are SO incredible, and rewarding, and bring so much joy in a very different way. I have been with my fiancé for 6 years; we have lived together for 2 years, and been engaged for 1 month. I remember the butterflies and thrill that the relationship brought us in the early years, but I wouldn't trade what we have now for a lifetime of butterflies. He's my absolute rock - every single day I wait impatiently for him to come home from work so I can spend time with him. Every little thing I do is made better if he's there - going grocery shopping, cooking dinner, watching TV, whatever it is, it's better with him. He's my best friend in the entire world, he's the one person whose company I never tire of, who I can trust to the ends of the earth. He's the one person who I'll never be embarrassed around, who loves my quirks and personality traits that I'm ashamed of. Although I don't get butterflies anymore, I still get excited to spend time with him, I still long for him when he's not there. We know each other so well that we can literally finish each other's sentences, we know what the other person is thinking or how they would react to any scenario. He knows the little things that bring me joy, and I know the little things that bring him joy. It's incredible to be so in love that you just feel complete when you're with your partner, and that's something that doesn't go away as long as you nurture and prioritise your relationship! Good luck with your partner, just remember to put your relationship first, pick your battles, and make time for each other 💚
girl i'm here with you!! my longest relationships were 4 months and a 2 month relationship/dating period. i was SO worried i wouldnt have enough "experience" to have a long-term relationship with my current bf now. as of two weeks ago we've hit our 1 year anniversary (!!!! omg!!! i still think about that), but the honeymoon phase and butterflies have definitely subsided and i've had to tell him how afraid i was because i hadn't experienced it prior, which he understood and said it was normal. now i feel a sense of calm, relief, and peace/content when i'm with him. i wouldnt trade that for exciting and spontaneous butterflies tbh. so i'm happy and relate to you a lot
Red dress lady is one of those people that have such a big voice and its really easy to think everything they say is true because they say it with such confidence. Meanwhile, they dont know jack.
The woman saying "relationships get worse not better" and thinking men and woman can't be friend unless they're gay- she gives me bad vibes. She probably thinks everyone is like her so she expects the worse.
Plus thinking that there needs to be a “feminine” gay and “masculine” gay for the relationship because apparently it all harkens back to heteronormativity…yikes.
Ok but loving someone's personality LITERALLY makes them more physically attractive. Idk why but if I see a guy with abs I'm like 'ok', but if a guy I like just so happened to have abs, its the hottest shit ever.
As someone who was SAd by multiple partners, I have a very specific hatred for the idea that "cheating is the worst thing a partner could do to me". I have PTSD and chronic pain from the things my exes did to me. The amount if times I've told my story and had someone say "I get how much pain your in, my ex cheated on me"... makes me see red
I’m really really sorry for what you’ve been put through by people. There’s no reason for it, and it makes me sick thinking you were treated that way. I really hope your life improves for the better in a permanent fashion, because everyone knows you absolutely deserve to have a better life than what you’ve been put through. I wish you the best.
It’s legit kinda scary to hear men say “naw, we can’t be friends.” Because men and women have to interact daily, on professional and personal levels every day. If I thought that my manager thought men and women can’t be friends, I would not be joking around with him and asking him for help at work. Being viewed as a sexual object by my employers and coworkers??? Not the vibe.
"sexual object" "not the vibe" "i don't like that people are attracted to me" "omjjjj people have icky thoughts about me! gwoss!!!" confused zoomer detected. dont worry kid, once you mature at around 40-50 years old and have real things to worry about, you'll realize all your childish insecurities were just that. so funny how western 1st world society seems to slow maturity by so much. people from 3rd world countries dont worry about dumb stuff like this...
poor man's jessica rabbit saying all women and men have an attraction to each other like women are not repulsed by most of the men they interact with on a day to day basis
thats why women are not friends with most men and only with the ones they are comfortable with. also in general, based on your attractivity and sexuality, it is quite obvious to assume that men and women can be attracted to eachother. it's quite immature of you to insult someones physical appearence for lack of a valid opinion or argument.
i think the first one is crazy, women and men can absolutely be friends. Theres not always an underlying sexual thing going on. For example, im a lesbian with tons of female friends who are queer as well, never once have I considered acting on something sexual or romantic with them. Its such a boring mindset to have, not every friend is a potential partner!!!
also like cody mentioned you can consider something sexual/romantic with them and then just...decide not to do that and stay friends, and that doesn't mean your whole friendship is fake lol! i feel like that's super common in queer friend groups, crushes and flirtations come and go and it doesn't have to blow up your whole friendship.
@@friday13thirteen exactly! Being friends with exes is such a queer stereotype but i truly think it is because we have been forced to explore so much of our sexuality on our own, that its become easier for us to separate different types of love , if that makes sense….
i THINK the main argument on to why it wouldn’t work is because of the men💀 women can easily be friends w anyone and we are better overall at controlling ourselves, but men are viewed by society as more animalistic and having no self control- which is not true for all men of course. but i don’t think women was ever the issue in this scenario.
I was friends with a woman who told me she was lesbian. We met online because of our love of photography and other things in common and decide to meet up, hang out, practice photoshoots and street photography. She soon developed feelings for me for some reason and then considered herself bisexual, even though I never tried to get her to like me like that. I tried to make it clear I only wanted to be friends and that our beliefs/differences would clash if we got too close. She still seemed intent on trying to make something work and our friendship was damaged soon after. Does this happen often?
I feel like there's a lot of nuance that they don't really care to mention. Cody touched on this, but a male and female heterosexual friendship can still happen EVEN if one or both have sexual feelings for one another. Obviously they can act on those feelings as "friends", or they can acknowledge the feeling as natural, and then decide not to act on it out of respect for the friendship. This is what mature adults should be expected to do.
That woman in the sparkly red dress is saying some absolutely INSANE stuff, my gosh. If she’s a coach of some kind, I feel bad for any couples she’s coached. 😬
SERIOUSLY!! She seems so deeply unhappy and is trying to drag people to her level to convince herself that her life isn’t sad and unsatisfying. Also, ironic of her to mention kids ending up on stripper poles when she’s dressed like….. that.
It's such a dumb debate to begin with. Yes, there are men and women out there that are just waiting to take advantage of your body, but there are also tons of people with morals that see people as people and can control themselves. Also, just because the other person is of a different sex than you doesn't mean you're attracted to them. Some people just can't think rationally and therefore think everybody is like them.
I mean, there's a lot of factors in that. I, MYSELF, personally think it isn't easy for me because, I'm young, single and the sex drive is crazy. But definetily with maturity and having a partner it get way more managable.
I watched her on Jubilee's Male Feminists vs Female Anti-Feminists and the stuff she was saying was crazy, it was kinda scary how a woman could still think that way
they way they acknowledged it then said "well... But if they murdered me then I wouldn't exist whereas cheating I would still feel the pain...." Like trust me bro you'll eventually get over it let me see you get over them MURDERING YOU
Yeah, presumptuous, but opens in my mind whole discussions in pain avoidance, for lack of a better way of saying it, instant gratification and our sense of danger in America.
How about the 75 trillion other things that are worse than cheating? Cheating is HORRIBLE. But come on bro. We can all think of like 10 things worse than cheating in 2 minutes.
saying cheating is the worst thing someone could do to you is crazy. literally torture exists. like what if they burned down ur house and unalived ur whole family????? how is that not as bad as cheating
@@revalone3944 insane thing to say, im a child of divorced parents and none of my siblings nor me have gotten on a stripper pole (even if you argue children of divorce are sluttier or whatever cause i've heard that, none of us are) I think its just a distasteful thing to say. you can also successfully raise a kid via co-parenting or just completely single.
@@lilymoran7397 but would you not say it’s more common for children of single parents to end up less well off than someone raised (well) by 2 parents? the mother father dynamic is also important you need both. not saying there aren’t a shit ton of ppl who do fine raised by just one
I think emotionally mature people can have friends of the opposite sex. There are plenty of thirsty men and women who's whole life somehow leads back to sex and so when it comes down to it do so friendships. I have two best friends and they are married. I depend on them both and they are both reliable and good to me. It is entirely possible
having known so many women that have been cheated on by physically abusive partners, i can tell you that the cheating was not the WORST thing about it. it is much easier to heal from being cheated on than it is to heal after abuse. the process of getting restraining orders, the PTSD, the nightmares, having to leave your entire life behind to move and escape that person- all of it is much worse than getting cheated on
The cheating question really irked me cause Jubilee could have phrased that as “I would forgive my partner if they cheated on me” and that would have been a better debate and topic of conversation. Pretty lazy work that they kept it phrased like that.
that’s a completely different question though, it was a good question and made a lot of debate and showed that majority of the group are very naive in believing that cheating is the worst that can happen
5:57 thank you Cody for saying that. Because it’s literally disregarding consent for a men. You can’t always assume that men are eagerly giving consent. That’s how you lead to quite literally assaulting people just because of their gender.
I need someone to tell red dress lady about asexuals and try to explain it in a way that she'd eventually accept is real. It'd change so much maybe lol
seeing as she put air quotes around the word gay, I'm almost certain she wouldn't believe we exist no matter how hard someone tried to explain it to her
As a bisexual, I guess I can’t have friends at all LOL (not everyone you’re attracted to is something you’d act on. yes men and women can be and stay friends)
lol as a fellow bi i find myself always having almost equal girl and guy friends but the guy friends assume stuff sadly just bc I’m friendly with both they think I’m flirting or something, so i end up with a lot of gay guy friends instead 😂
Also saying that everyone is attracted to every single person of a certain gender presumption is wild. Like what are they really saying? Let's unpack that lol
i have on multiple occasions, not immediately been physically attracted to a person, but then gotten to know them emotionally, and the physical attraction built and suddenly i saw beauty in them that i hadnt before. which nobody talks about.
My boyfriend of 7 years is this case. I didn't know i was bi until I started to develop romantic feelings for him but he was at a disadvantage because I didn't find men physically attractive. After 6-9 months of dating him is when I started to find him super attractive.
Sometimes these videos shows the LACK of emotional maturity, because why would a man and woman not be able to have a friendship without attraction?? And how did nobody mention abuse as something worse than cheating 😭😭 I’d rather a man cheat on me than beat me because I’m not his ideal partner, cheating definitely does suck but there are worse things.
Right?? Like I was legit expecting more mature, more nuanced opinions. But they all seem like high school kids who've never heard about domestic abuse or that opposite-sex friendships exist.
Most men are attracted to most women. Got nothing to do with emotional maturity, though I don't think that neccassarily makes it something other than a friendship unless we define in that specific way.
good lord i could not have watched this video without cody. 14 minutes in and watching those people think that cheating is the worst thing… you could be beaten?? murdered?? but no definitely cheated on is the worst. humans are crazy
Well, honestly, I'd rather be dead than cheated on. Because in one of those situations, you have to go through the feelings and in the other one, there's nothing to feel . HOWEVER!! That guy that said, "you could kill my mother", now I agree with that guy that cheating is not the worst thing, they could kill your FAMILY! And that's very different. You're alive to suffer about it and your family members are dead? No way, everybody has to be on strongly disagree.
I'm pansexual. Gender doesn't even come into it for me. I don't care what mish mash of bits and bobs you have. Just because I have the ability to be attracted to anyone, does that mean I'm not capable of being friends with anyone? Because I can most certainly tell you, I have a lot of strictly platonic relationships. Honestly, it's really depressing to not have friends that are a different gender than yourself and friends with different sexual orientation...you can learn so much from each other. My best friend growing up is male, I'm female, we've been strictly platonic for 30 years. And we've learned so much from each other. He's taught me a lot about men and vice versa.
You are not a man. Pansexual men cant be friends with anyone(in general). There are true M/F friendships but they are really rare. If you even once think about sex its not true any more...
I’m so sick of the polyamory and monogamy argument when there’s NO argument to be had omf. It’s literally all about what’s best for you - wholy subjective like neither is bad
The dude is self projecting. It is in fact lazy of him, to just up and call all/most people around lazy for divorcing and breaking up their relationships, instead of him doing some reflection and thought into monogamy/monoamorous type of lifestyle and why it doesn't work. That maybe monogamy/monoamorous type of relationship might be at fault and something that doesn't work for all people. First off, men are kind of, sort of built to be polyamorous. Through pron viewing studies, visually we usually if not always get turned on through novelty. We got a whole bunch of different videos, because one video isn't enough and sometimes we search for more/new ones too. And frankly speaking that might be true for women and pron too. And many people have double standards and are hypocrites. While they wouldn't forgive cheating from their partner, they have cheated or eventually cheat. And other times they would cheat under certain circumstances that simply have not been met/did not occur. Then again Christians(and not only, generally religious people) tend to be very narrow minded, hypocritical, having double standards and preach things that they don't follow and/or they have little to no idea about. So it's not surprising that the dude falls in line with that. Last but not least, do you know how much effort and suffering/ordeal some people have to go through to get that divorce/break up? And what repercussions may follow after that? Doesn't seem like it.
it never crosses the minds of men, who say that women and men can't just be "friends", that they could befriend a women that they're not attracted to. They think men and women can't just be friends because they only want to be "friends" with women that they're attracted to. Therefore putting themselves in the "friendzone".
wow, as a guy, I am completely guilty of this. As someone who's been trying to put themselves out there to find a partner, but also make friends, I've realized that I've unfortunately let the two mix, leading me to gravitate toward women I find attractive out of romantic interest, while also trying to befriend them. It's an important distinction to make, because I have had unfortunate experiences from doing exactly what you said. Thank you for bringing this up
I have a really attractive friend of mine who often grabs the attention of a lot of men. It makes me mad when I see men trying to befriend her just to get with her and or have underlying intentions AND ITS SO OBVIOUS. Its disgusting because shes naive and genuinely thinks they just want to be friends. While their are guys who are genuine, they are rare. I think men and woman can be friends, but not just ALL, obviously their are people who just want a hit and run.
Those are the guys that always expect it to lead somewhere if they only befriend people they are attracted too and then get pised when it doesn't lead to where they expected and they are put in the 'friendzone'. To add, most of those dudes believe they are 'nice guys who finish last'. It's so silly
It's also extra weird that they can't conceive of the idea that they don't need to fuck or date every single woman they find hot. In Scandinavia (where I've lived my whole life), pretty much everyone has friends of different genders. Lots of men have hot female friends they never hit on, and vice versa. For the longest time, I thought the idea that men and women can't be friends was some exaggerated Hollywood thing, because it makes absolutely no sense to view other people as sexual objects to that degree.
yes men and women can be friends, that's obvious. if u say otherwise i assume u think all men/women relationships are inherently sexual which isn't always the case
I've had my three best friends that are women for over a decade. I'm a man. Never once have we crossed that line and once you've gone years, you don't ruin shit over being horny or lonely. It's disrespectful to both people. Plus, if you ACTUALLY have game, you don't get desperate waiting for your friends to like you.
Asking if he cares more about his money than his relationship is such a cheap shot. Like the relationship wasn't dead anyways if his partner stole 250k.
Right? Both getting cheated on and having your money stolen is your partner breaking the trust you are supposed to have in a relationship, so essentially it's the same. They could say the same to her "so you care more about sex than your relationship?". Both are horribly things to do but at the end of the day you can argue that stealing that amount of money is worse than cheating since it both broke trust and his bank account.
saying men and women can’t be just friends means that you’re attracted to every single person you’re friends with and that seems stupid? Like you’re telling me that that guy has NEVER seen a woman he didn’t wanna sleep with? very weird
Yesss! I hate when people say guys and girls can’t be friends cause of this. It honestly grosses me out. I have good guy friends that are strictly platonic and they would 100% say the same.
There are plenty of women I've considered "just a friend" because I wasn't attracted to them in the tiniest bit. There are also girls that, if given the chance, I'd sleep with. But that chance was nearly non-existent, so I didn't even try and kept it as friend (or acquaintance).
@@alaeacusmcfly4353 yeaahh I think that’s usually how it goes! It must be miserable to not have the cognitive ability to put your attraction to someone aside
regarding polyamory and primary/secondary partners: it's not inherently hurtful to be someone's secondary partner. there's many situations where it just works for everyone involved. e.g. for two people who both already have their own primary partners it just makes sense to be each others' secondary. some people don't have primary partners at all - if someone likes to be very independent or has a very demanding job or social life, they might feel more comfortable as a secondary. or they might enjoy dating someone but not see themself becoming so entangled that they become primaries, even if it's their only realtionship. some people don't use these terms at all in their relationships and reject this sort of hierarchy. there's so many configurations in polyam, it's not as easy as "secondary = less important" (of course it can hurt when one person doesn't want to be just someone's secondary, but one person wanting "more" out of a relationship and being hurt is often the case in monogamous dating as well)
Yeah I was thinking and although I'm not poly I think the idea of being a secondary partner as someone who is an introvert and needs a lot of alone time could seem nice because then the person I'm with won't be alone and there won't be pressure to hang out with them as often when I need to recharge. So maybe I am poly 😭😭
Cody saying "murder" at the "cheating is the worst thing my partner could do to me" at the same time I also said "murder" to myself makes me wonder if I've been watching him for too long (and the answer would be yes, been watching him since the beginning of times)
I'm a woman. Every guy friend I've ever gotten close enough with (hanging out one on one) has developed feelings for me. What sucks is when they ask me out and I don't reciprocate those feelings, every single one of them (except my current best guy friend) has stopped talking to me. That's paradoxically been the biggest hit to my self confidence. It's so objectifying
fr I really wanna believe we can all be friends but when this is our experience and the experience of so many women... it's just sad I don't know. I do believe mature men out there exist but it's definitely not as common as I would like
Yeah, me too with maybe one exception. So, I would go on disagree because I absolutely can be just friends with men, but there does seem to be a pattern that like 80% of straight guys cannot develop a CLOSE relationship with women without catching feelings. Just friends or acquaintances is one thing, but every time I get close with a guy they seem to develop physical attraction. I think maybe it would be better off if it was socially acceptable for men to have close friendships like women do. In that way I'd say for me it's a red flag if a guy I want to be friends with never has close friendships with other dudes because that means there's a very high chance that he can't stay just friends with me if I start to open up or hang out one on one with them.
I am a woman and I have had opposite experience than you .- always had friends and best friends even … some are single some are couple up …. Never had feelings for each others. Ever. Only friendship. Such a blessing.
same. i’ve had male friends who sexually assaulted me, lied to people about sleeping with me, and some who try to take me out on dates and others who have admitted to having feelings for me. it really sucks that they can’t just appreciate me as a friend.
as someone who was cheated on by a partner, and in a severe domestic violence situation with a different one, saying cheating is the worst thing that could happen is insane. i would take getting cheated on three more times before ever being in a DV situation. he ruined my life. i’m still recovering years later. yeah getting cheated on sucked, and i actually thought i was gonna marry the person who cheated on me, and i’ve never felt the way about someone like the person before he cheated on me, but i will always pick that over having my head sent through dry wall or almost getting choked out.
im glad that you're recovering, thats a really terrible situation, and yes i agree. like getting cheated on definitely hurts emotionally and is disgusting (and also very disgusting if the person cheating gives you a disease bc of it) but there are a lot of really horrible things that people can do to ruin your life and ruin you physically long term, and ik from watching my parents. getting your partner hooked on drugs is terrible, screaming and hitting is terrible, hurting your own children is VERY terrible. it can get very very dark, which the people in the video weren't considering, so just a regular case of "my boyfriend cheated on me and then we broke up" can be better since you're actually able to escape without a lot of collateral damage (hopefully)
@@iam_crumb no. thats just YOu and its totally legit and understandable. but cheating IS psychological abuse!! cheating can cause severe trauma and ptsd just like physical violence. ITS BOTH EXTREMELY HORRIBLE. some people will never ever get over the fact that someone they trusted with all their heart cheated on them. it literally destroys lives and people dont get that. i know someone who now has to live on the streets because their wife cheated on them and they got into such a big depression spiral so that they were no able to do anything . its so fucked up that cheating nowadays is so normalized and MINIMZED... im TIRED of people minimizing it. YES, violence leaves horrible scars, but cheating does to, but you are not able to see it directly. but the mental pain stays forever
I think living in a toxic environment with parents that hate each other can potentially be worse for a child’s mental health then living in a broken family
Damn, “relationships get worse not better” is the worst piece of advice Ive ever heard. My partner and I have been together for years, and we are stronger now than ever before… Every year we get better as partners and individuals. Lol, I also wasn’t immediately attracted to him (for lame reasons tbh), but then after chatting at hikes and parties the attraction developed naturally. And this is the best relationship Ive ever had, we plan on getting married… I also met him through a platonic girl friend of his that I was also friends with sooo… my life contradicts everything miss red dress had to say.
yeah it's a bad generalization that is oversimplified. It relies on the idea that negative traits come to light more intensely/often as infatuation ceases. But long term, it's very possible to keep things light and grow together as people
The guy and girl who were hitting it off at the end... Crazy how this wasn’t a dating episode and there were two people interested in each other while in so many of The Button episodes (or other similar ones where people are actually looking for someone) there are no matches
People only say 'men and women can't be friends' if they've never been friends with someone of the opposite sex. It's such a childish and close-minded thing to think.
In my opinion the lady in the red dress entire identity is based off of people being sexually attracted to her so she can't imagine people not falling into that slim world view.
I interpreted her views differently; she sounds so much like my mom and many of my mom’s views on relationships and sex stem from her trying to cope with my dad being unfaithful. I don’t see her views as coming from a place of “everyone is attracted to me”, rather it seems it comes from a place of “men are going to be unfaithful no matter what so we women have to accept that”. I think she’s just coping really hard and trying to rationalize whatever shitty situation she may be in
The guy saying he was destroyed by cheating bc he built himself up based on other s' validation...that was sad. Dont base your value on that you have to build it yourself to be happy.
What’s funny is that the guys who say men and women can’t be friends are often the ones that think of women mostly as a means to sex, and having a woman as a friend is SUCH a good way to get dates if you’re a man
or there saying there can be tension regardless. unless your not physically attracted to someone at all its rare to be ''just friends'' it doesn't mean you act on those urges. imo
It’s mad that she’s like oh yes let’s work on this if you cheated on me cuz of my kid. Girl, you can co-parent in a healthy way and teach your kid not to let people disrespect them without staying in a marriage that makes you unhappy.
Men and women can be friends, but there needs to be a distinct line of where the relationship is. If the relationship is just plain weird and there are there sexual undertones then of course not. My bf had a "girl best friend" where she would send bikini pics to him unprovoked WHILE HE WAS TALKING ABOUT ME, would say "i love youuuu muah" on birthday cards for him, and would ask for steamy photoshoots to "get back at boys" that she was entertaining. (He was a photographer) He never entertained that and i was totally not okay with that. But he ALSO has a group of 3 girls that he chills with that are respectful, kind, and always invite me to their gatherings too. Very wholesome group of girls. Its possible, but it cant be weird and theres boundaries to not touch. I didnt fw the girl best friend but the girl group i respect. Men and women can both be malicious.
@@aldranzam3456 she without a doubt misogynist but it seems like it came from past relationships with men and just accepting that all men will be bad, so she thinks by changing her and other women's behavior will stop the men from acting badly. Instead of attacking the patriarchy she trying the "if you cant beat them join them" mindset.
achieving joals... the headphones falling.... had me dead in this one. I'm so grateful to have your videos to watch Cody. I had a bad day today and this was the only time I really got to laugh. Also physical abuse is worse than cheating and men and women can be friends. Ok goodnight
8:55 someone's looks can actually change in my eyes based on their personality. One guy, who I thought was average (and just not my type) became very attractive to me because of his personality (I even slept with him). Really hot men have become physically ugly to me based on their personality. Typically, it's about the personality, but I have to have been physically attracted to them from the start OR became physically attracted to them via their personality. Great examples: I find Pete Davidson hot for his personality, which was immediately presented to me when watching him on SNL. I did not find Ryan Gosling that attractive, but i was unfamiliar with most of his work, so I just saw him as the guy from the Notebook (a movie I never saw because I hate that genre), but now after seeing him in Barbie, I see the appeal because I got a taste of his humor.
2:38 stuff like this is super hilarious to me. Because it’s obviously anecdotal. It’s about who you interact with. I have friends that have never been attracted to me and I didn’t expect them to. Because everyone is different and you are allowed to be attracted to different things. It’s just absurd.
I think men and women can absolutely just be friends, but it can be tricky to make those friendships happen sometimes, because I feel like so many people take the opposite sex being nice and friendly to them as flirting, rather than... just being friendly. but saying that it can't happen is insane, like, you're cutting yourself off from potential friendships with half of the world's population just because of their sex. that's wild.
Idk who needs to hear this, but: if someone cheats on you, and that results in the family "breaking up" because you chose not to tolerate it... IT'S NOT. YOUR. FAULT. It's theirs. Period. Don't let anyone shame you into staying with someone. Divorce is not always a bad thing.
To have a little Jeeeol just scurrying around the house, to see another Jeeeol cuddled in the arms of your loved one and to see your own eyes reflected on those of your dearest Jeeeol... That's the dream guys... that's truly achieving Jeeeols
Wayyyyyy more of it has to do with if they or their parents were ever evangelical. It just so happens that of course that demographic has a LOT of straight people 💀
I think what she meant by "relationships only get worse" is that it gets harder. And the more initial attraction, similarities, compatibility and chemistry there was, the more incentivised you might be to really work hard on the relationship. If their personality is "all" that you like about them, you might be more inclined to stop working on it once you start to see all the things you don't like about their personality.
This should have been a collab with Kelsey because there's definitely a few times where I think Cody didn't get the girls' perspective. Women becoming physically attracted to people after liking their personality is pretty common. Also women aren't always feeling the sexual energy when in a guy/girl friendship like I think guys are.
defffinitely. codys got somewhat nuanced perspectives, but kelseys def better at understanding different ones, imo. and she wouldve roasted the participants nicely too haha
This is so real. I think it would be fun to have Kelsey join in for more videos like these, or like the Best Friends Being Honest one. Ones that involve controversial questions and opinions like this.
I feel like finding out that your s/o is sexually abusing your child would be significantly more devastating than finding out they cheated
EXACTLY. like there are sadly a MILLION things that are objectively worse than cheating. i guess these people don’t regular consume true crime
@@elanmayes😂😂 fr fr
i honestly just think that a lot of factors and things didnt really cross their minds, maybe because they havent experienced them or maybe something like that
My mom was more upset about me eating bread in the room next to her than she was about my step dad SA’ing me lol. Some ppl’s priorities are outta whack lol.
Thing is those are all crimes and I don't think they are thinking in the crime range. Those are not controversial topics that anyone would have a different opinion about, anyone would agree that that is worse than cheating. So that wouldn't make for a very interesting video.
nightmare blunt rotation
For real! Lady in the red dress won't ever stop talking ever and it is killing the vibe.
Such an underrated comment 😂
Oh boy, what a nightmare that would be lol
Cody pin this comment plsss😂
They should make that a video for Cody to see lmao
Cody making himself laugh over pronouncing 'goals' as 'joals' has confirmed that he is ready to be a dad
honestly, he laughed way too hard for way too long on that one
Can all the real Joel's please stand up
@@wigsontop TRUEE
@@wigsontopI almost busted
I instinctively looked up shouted JOALS and scared my neighbor before I had a self realization and paused the video to look in the comments for joals.
I hate the whole "all men want only sex" and "all women want only love" thing like its something programmed into us, when in reality, people are just looking for different types of relationships and it doesn't depend on your gender
This is cultural misinformation
That's why relationship coaches always say the dumbest shit and end up hurting their "clients" more than helping them. Broad generalizations of a gender are always going to be inaccurate and if you enter the dating world believing that stuff you're never gonna find someone who's right for you.
Exactly. I hooked up with a guy because I wanted something casual. He’d never had casual sex before and decided it wasn’t for him because it made him feel weird. But we’re still friends! I wasn’t interested in a romantic relationship.
the book “sex at dawn” talks about this really well. it challenges those gender stereotypes in regards to sex and relationships
@@halloweendancing "casual sex makes me feel weird" guy code translation: "you being this comfortable with casual sex is a turn off"
not a single person in that room mentioning domestic abuse as something worse than cheating is insane to me
I imagine some of them may believe that you should just endure the violence because divorce is a sin 😒
@@matt6223there’s no way ur real
@@matt6223I am a grown woman. I don't need to he disciplined, ESPECIALLY not by my partner. Thinking you have that kind of authority to "discipline" me is insane.
@@a1ntcry1noveru i highly doubt that's true tbh, because one of the few exceptions/justifications for divorce in the Bible is abuse.
RIGHT???
If these people think cheating is the worst thing that someone could do to you they’re simply not anxious enough
Lmao so true, my mind running on all the manipulation and torture that is possible and exists in relationships. There's some terrifying shit out there, I'd much rather someone break my trust and let me end it with some emotional scars than someone break my arm to keep me from leaving with real scars
FOR REAL.
@@fionahunter1669yea, i was thinking like i want to be that delusional like them and not immediately think about physical and emotional abuse as the one of the worst things my partner could do to me
right like women aren’t murdered by their partners literally every day….. i work at a domestic abuse shelter and if cheating was the worst thing that could happen in a relationship, i simply wouldn’t have a job. maybe to men cheating is the worst thing
They clearly have had a priviledged life fr
Seeing the red dress woman on the strongly disagree side for the cheating question made me almost hopeful that she’d finally have a decent opinion. But then she hits us with the “it’s probably the best thing they could do”. Solid
tbh she right on that because it exposes their true character, like the trash taking itself out
@@TarahChantelexcept she expects you to stay with that person! Which personally, I think it depends. Many things play into cheating and it just depends on the expectations set, the relationship you're in, and the boundaries each person has.
I mean I think she meant it a "best of the worst" type of way (hopefully?) in which case I'd agree, but she said some other wild things that round
"There's a problem in the relationship you get to work out!" I don't necessarily agree with that. I would be more like, to the cheater, YOU have problems & my problem is you! 😂 I whole heartedly agree that it's never someone's fault for being cheated on. Unless the cheater expressed their needs time after time. But still.. leave that person if they're not adding to the relationship. No reason to cheat.
I think she holds the opinion that if you have kids you should stay with your spouse, but literally almost every child of divorced parents and spouses who have stayed together all say "never stay because of the kids since it'll ruin everyone's life."
As a couples therapist if that woman in the red is coaching or giving any relationship or sex advice to anyone there’s a large chance she’s doing legitimate damage to people’s lives.
Yeah the whole think of "many men suffer with lack of sex in their relatipnships"... well maybe there is a reason for that?? Maybe their partner doesn't feel valued and heard? Or anything else. Crazy take.
you should watch her debates she has where she talks more about the work she does, she’s actually unhinged. she’s debated destiny a few times and it was entertaining to say the least
yeah exactly. she's a strong believer of this feminine masculine energy type of shit that assumes everyone is heterosexual. there's so many questionable takes that she's made 😵
Fr, just by her first opinion I couldn’t take her seriously.
The idea she had that that men only want sex and only women want intimacy makes me want to gag. no sex drive is different from person to person a women can have just as high if not higher sex drive then her man. Not to mention like bi and gay people exist etc, It not about genders it’s about the individual
the women in the red dress was getting on my nerves 😭. cheating and staying together can also do damage to ur kids like wtf.
Right like id rather my parents get separated and be happy alone or with someone else than together and bitter lol, that’ll mess up your views on relationships
My mom cheated and I'm glad my parents divorced so they could both seek actual happiness.
That lady looks like a mess ngl
Better that a kid has two happy homes than one broken one
"It's for the kids" is already becoming outdated.
The red dress woman saying “oh so love is conditional?” YES IT IS, when it comes to romance there are certain things that your partner should not do to you especially if it’s something you are both promising to not do to each other or something that is directly harmful to you. Wtf…
yeah i just yelled "YES.... OBVIOUSLY it is" honestly apart from maybe your children your love for basically everybody is conditional. Even if the condition is just that they don't abuse you, that's still a condition
literally 😂 SOO contradictory. Because what about the cheater? His love WAS conditional towards you if he cheated. And how she was blaming the person who gets cheated on for wanting to break up the family. Like the victim didn’t break up the family… the person who went off and cheated is the one who ruined the marriage and destroyed the family. this woman has it so backwards.
I think the ultimate goal of love is to be unconditionnal, but its very rare and comes after countless trials of conditions to be sure both individuals of the relationship understand eachother
@@0111-k9m exactly!!!!!! You can have unconditional love for someone and not take their dysfunction. Love isn’t supposed to be conditional, that’s a cultural misinformed myth. A lot of that belief comes from how people are raised generally. Just because you leave doesn’t mean you love them any less but you know what is good for you and you should respect yourself because that’s the greatest love of all
I think mostly love is unconditional, but a relationship is definitely not. Like if someone cheats on you, those feelings you had aren't gone right away.
You can tell Cody’s gonna be a dad by how much he makes himself laugh with the Joel joke that really wasn’t that funny but he ran the bit so long that his own joy was contagious. Real dad joke there.
it was so funny i was cry
#lifejoals
Joel
imagine he actually names his son joel
@@FULLTECHNOJACKASS i was so lost on the joke i thought THAT was the joke like he was making fun of his own sons name, and that lowkey had me rolling
I would never be okay to be in a Polyamorous relationship but to call that man lazy... he just said one relationship is in its third year, and one is in its second year. He's putting hard work into multiple relationships.
Exactly. It's like calling people with two jobs lazier than a person with one.
Exactly, thank you!
Yea, I think the forced monogamy by society is the main reason why birthrates have been declining in the modern world. The internet has made it easier for women to be picky about who they date. So there has been this massive trend of women dating just the 1% top guys that aren’t rich, tall and have muscles.
Even the girls that settle, they are just biding their time in marriage until they can get a divorce and steal the mans money.
In the past you basically knew everyone in town, so there was a huge stigma about divorce and you were forced to basically choose a partner out of like 2,000 people your age near your hometown. Everyone was forced to settle and actually put the work in to commit to each other.
Now, I’m not saying its wrong for women to only chase after money or the top 1% guys, but these guys have thousands of hot women throwing theirselves at them. Its really not surprising that these men are just running through women like they are prostitutes. If only society didn’t force monogamy, these men and women could have happy lifes by allowing a rich man to have many wives. If the guy is able to support that many people/families then why not? For the wives life is easier because they don’t have to have sex as frequently or spend as much effort on house chores/raising children as they could share those duties with the other wives.
So what we tend to see instead is a lot of great women thinking that all guys are assholes because they’ve only ever dated top1% guys that only want sex, and rich men achieving big families using the workaround of getting divorced 3/4 times and supporting more than one family, but at the expense of him not being able to remain as a father figure in his children’s life.
People should be able to choose. I really want a monogamous relationship where both people support eachother unconditionally, but society has made it so difficult to find someone like that. Everyone says they want monogamy even if they are only interested in marriage for the financial security.
yes, polyamory is hard work and requires a lot of commitment to all the partners and to the idea. the reason why it often doesn't work out for people is (except that it's not normalized so we still don't know how to navigate it and make up rules from scratch) is that it's just too much work indeed.
But in a polyamorous relationship you’re not leaning on just one person. I think that’s why it’d be easier then monogamy where you’re pretty much putting all you’re eggs in one basket
Saying you’re sending your daughter to the “stripping pole” for divorcing your partner is insane.
bc a stripper is the worst thing a girl could become 😂
You know what she means. Growing up without a father figure which is very important
I grew up without father figure because he was abusive and unreliable partner to her and thank mum every single day for making that decision. Some people can ruin your life and your children lives if you let them manipulate you.
She makes it sound as if it is universal rule for every marriage. She should stop acting like a marriage therapist and just express an opinion rather than giving lectures. Relationships are always more complicated than what it seems on surface
It's true though
@mariocuric6690 i see it as a really odd way of guilting people into not divorcing their cheating partners lol. If your boundaries are crossed in such a way it can have some pretty devastating affects on your mental health and trying to repair a relationship that's been tainted like that is extremely difficult
no ones talking about how great Cody's takes were. really shows his character and how healthy his relationships are.
fr
I disagree just in regards to the first take about women and men being friends. Strictly platonic male-female relationships exist without ever being more. It was sort of homophobic/heteronotmative to say every person of the opposite sex has thought about sleeping with a friend. Its also a little mysognistic in a way. idrk
@@Jessy22296 thats what codys stance was "strictly platonic male-female relationships exist without ever being more." he was just clowning on the contestant that was saying "you never thought about it though?", but that wasn't cody's belief
@@Jessy22296 you just called a person heteronormative, homophobic and misogynistic in a single sentence without even understanding that his stance was literally the opposite and was just clowning the other contestant.
fr and his marriage seems like the cutest couple ever and now theyre parents 🥹 very happy for them
ok so what we learned is nobody should go to red dress lady for relationship advice.
the worst part is that she talks like someone who gives relationship advice for a living. like the whole "masculine conqueror mindset" thing reminded me of the old scott cramer videos where he watched awful jean smith tedx talks. i guarantee she has tried to build a social media following around relationship advice.
@@thehousecat93true, and next up she’s gonna join a pyramid scheme and promote “womanly” things only
She has a UA-cam channel and is a self-proclaimed sex and relationship guru.
She’s trying so hard to be different
The cheating take was just way too far, up until that moment I didn't mind her, but that was victim-blaming to the max.
As a member of the Joel community, I can attest that true happiness comes from achieving Joel
Who the fuck is joel
I bet your parents must be really happy they achieved a joel😂
Ending it with "I would date someone in this room" is so fucking funny
The looks passed between the Christian duo throughout the whole thing....the producers were doing them a favor 🤣
@@natalieschopen6158 YESS
@@natalieschopen6158 as soon as i saw them both over there i knew what was about to happen
The lore goes crazy in this one. There’s the guy from the guys ranking each other by dick size. There’s the guy from that video where the girl dated by body type. Then there’s the guy that’s from the body count video. Also, Jessica rabbit is here too
Jessica rabbit 😂
i swear the red hair girl is a tiktok tarot reader too
And Feenix was in a video on Kevin Langue's YT channel in guess the democrat.
@@kristinagregor5492She’s an astrologer, Maren Altman, but yeah she also does some tarot with it
Which one is which though 😭
when they said “cheating is the worst thing my partner could do to me”, my first thought was, “well, no, my partner beat the shit out of me” - and then cody says, “what if they beat the shit out of you?” so thank you cody
seriously. my first thought was "well i've been cheated on and I've been abused and i would for sure pick the former over the latter."
Sadly, as a guy, i would honestly rather be slapped up. Same outcome, the relationship ends but at least it's easier yk?
Just remember, someone cheating on you is a reflection of who they are and not because of what you're lacking. That shit is on them.
No its all your fault
@Doordashjonathon Try harder next time. bait used to be believable smh
@@g00se_noosewhat if you are the problem and they cheated because you are like that?
ive been seeing Cody more than my own dad lately
Same (he’s dead)
Cody is your dad now
same but it's true about anyone i'm seeing
He's still out for that gallon milk huh?
Cody’s my daddy
the woman in the ballgown is the female version of alpha male podcasts
Oh yeah, and I don't think she's a pick me, I think she genuinely believes in the "alpha male mindset"
She definitely does. I recognize her from another video, might’ve been jubilee, where she’s on the anti-feminists side of vs feminists. As soon as I saw her here, I knew what type of answers she was going to give.
She actually has a UA-cam channel they tagged in the original video. She makes like sex guru videos and “dating advice” a lot of her vidoe thumbnails look weird like ‘beta man cries over being sex toy’ ‘modern women’s declining value is high’ or talking about Andrew Tate.
that’s what we call a “pick me”
yes because if you have any morals or use critical thinking then that makes you an alpha sigma misogynist. people like you are the reason those alpha male podcasts exist. because god forbid anyone disagrees with you on polyamory
relationships do not “get worse” , you get more comfortable , which is a good thing, but also just means you have to continue to work to maintain that spark.
Yeah! complacency is what kills anything, relationships included.
As someone who has been cheated on MULTIPLE times (sucks how common it is), I agree that it is such a heart wrenching thing to go through and you process it in a different way than physical pain. It psychologically screws with you for a very long time. HOWEVER, my relationship afterwards was followed up by getting tormented physically. I had things thrown at me. Fists slammed inches to my face on the wall near me. Getting thrown against walls. Being pushed to the ground. Being yelled at and told I deserved to be cheated on by my ex. My belongings thrown away, broken, or ripped to shreds. All that is way worse than what cheating could have ever done to me. I would have honestly rather them have cheated on me.
I'm so sorry you've gone through that, and truly hope you're able to heal.
@@amandavergara8043 I’m okay now thankfully, I appreciate your kindness c:
The entire bit of him reacting to “relationships get worse” honestly really helped me. I’m in my first serious relationship and we’re just getting over the honeymoon phase and it’s been a huge struggle for me to accept that and to understand that love grows in other ways and it’s not just that exciting flirty getting to know someone phase forever. Hearing that from Cody means a lot because I adore his and Kelsey’s relationship 💜
oh my gosh I totally understand that!! I can promise you that it is work but worth it. I struggled with the change alot when my relationship went through that phase.... however i can promise you that looking back six years later that every fight or bickering moment is worth the depth of love and understanding weve gained through the process.
I’ve been with my bf for almost four years in April. I miss the honeymoon faze because it was so so sweet but I wouldn’t trade what we have now for anything. There’s nothing like growing with your partner and becoming best friends and just living side by side. It’s the greatest comfort you’ll ever experience.
Holy shit me too. I’m also in my first serious relationship and i used to get so scared of differences after the honeymoon phase. but in reality you spend so much time with that person and you’re both growing together so it’s natural that it’s not always going to be that high bar of “perfect”, flirty, excitement. you start to love that person in different ways, and i honestly think that’s so sweet:)
Relationships beyond the honeymoon phase are SO incredible, and rewarding, and bring so much joy in a very different way. I have been with my fiancé for 6 years; we have lived together for 2 years, and been engaged for 1 month. I remember the butterflies and thrill that the relationship brought us in the early years, but I wouldn't trade what we have now for a lifetime of butterflies. He's my absolute rock - every single day I wait impatiently for him to come home from work so I can spend time with him. Every little thing I do is made better if he's there - going grocery shopping, cooking dinner, watching TV, whatever it is, it's better with him. He's my best friend in the entire world, he's the one person whose company I never tire of, who I can trust to the ends of the earth. He's the one person who I'll never be embarrassed around, who loves my quirks and personality traits that I'm ashamed of. Although I don't get butterflies anymore, I still get excited to spend time with him, I still long for him when he's not there. We know each other so well that we can literally finish each other's sentences, we know what the other person is thinking or how they would react to any scenario. He knows the little things that bring me joy, and I know the little things that bring him joy. It's incredible to be so in love that you just feel complete when you're with your partner, and that's something that doesn't go away as long as you nurture and prioritise your relationship! Good luck with your partner, just remember to put your relationship first, pick your battles, and make time for each other 💚
girl i'm here with you!! my longest relationships were 4 months and a 2 month relationship/dating period. i was SO worried i wouldnt have enough "experience" to have a long-term relationship with my current bf now. as of two weeks ago we've hit our 1 year anniversary (!!!! omg!!! i still think about that), but the honeymoon phase and butterflies have definitely subsided and i've had to tell him how afraid i was because i hadn't experienced it prior, which he understood and said it was normal. now i feel a sense of calm, relief, and peace/content when i'm with him. i wouldnt trade that for exciting and spontaneous butterflies tbh. so i'm happy and relate to you a lot
Red dress lady is one of those people that have such a big voice and its really easy to think everything they say is true because they say it with such confidence. Meanwhile, they dont know jack.
fr the hand motions and the cadence are so patronizing... so loud and so wrong
The woman saying "relationships get worse not better" and thinking men and woman can't be friend unless they're gay- she gives me bad vibes. She probably thinks everyone is like her so she expects the worse.
Also the "sending her to the strip pole" confirms she's very sexist
And the way she said "gay" with finger quotes... does it smell like homophobia in here 🤔
Plus thinking that there needs to be a “feminine” gay and “masculine” gay for the relationship because apparently it all harkens back to heteronormativity…yikes.
@@stinkusbinkus8758no i saw that too… such a weird person 🙄
also her views on cheating and how the one she blames is the one who wants the divorce not the one that cheated.
Ok but loving someone's personality LITERALLY makes them more physically attractive. Idk why but if I see a guy with abs I'm like 'ok', but if a guy I like just so happened to have abs, its the hottest shit ever.
As someone who was SAd by multiple partners, I have a very specific hatred for the idea that "cheating is the worst thing a partner could do to me". I have PTSD and chronic pain from the things my exes did to me. The amount if times I've told my story and had someone say "I get how much pain your in, my ex cheated on me"... makes me see red
The fact that people actually said that makes me feel so disappointed in the human race
I’m so sorry that happened to you
Totally agree. I feel like a first grader could’ve answered that question better than those adults.
I’m really really sorry for what you’ve been put through by people. There’s no reason for it, and it makes me sick thinking you were treated that way. I really hope your life improves for the better in a permanent fashion, because everyone knows you absolutely deserve to have a better life than what you’ve been put through. I wish you the best.
they are definitely wrong but so are you to lower yourself to hatred over people you dont know, save your energy sis
It’s legit kinda scary to hear men say “naw, we can’t be friends.” Because men and women have to interact daily, on professional and personal levels every day. If I thought that my manager thought men and women can’t be friends, I would not be joking around with him and asking him for help at work. Being viewed as a sexual object by my employers and coworkers??? Not the vibe.
yep 100%
Exactly
100%
"sexual object" "not the vibe" "i don't like that people are attracted to me" "omjjjj people have icky thoughts about me! gwoss!!!" confused zoomer detected. dont worry kid, once you mature at around 40-50 years old and have real things to worry about, you'll realize all your childish insecurities were just that. so funny how western 1st world society seems to slow maturity by so much. people from 3rd world countries dont worry about dumb stuff like this...
exactlyyyy
poor man's jessica rabbit saying all women and men have an attraction to each other like women are not repulsed by most of the men they interact with on a day to day basis
not “poor man’s Jessica rabbit” 😂
thats why women are not friends with most men and only with the ones they are comfortable with. also in general, based on your attractivity and sexuality, it is quite obvious to assume that men and women can be attracted to eachother. it's quite immature of you to insult someones physical appearence for lack of a valid opinion or argument.
omg thank youuuu
She's saying generally speaking, not that all men want all women and vice versa
Saying there is sexual attraction between every man and every woman is odd.
depends on the people involved, some people are just very sexuall and are always looking for that on a subconsious level
@@Puuws exactly, some people. Speaking in absolutes is silly.
People that think like that are the weird ones truly...they would prob boink a sheep 🐑 too
@@seasyrenn exactly! Not everything is about sex!
@@Leiasart definitely absurd!
i think the first one is crazy, women and men can absolutely be friends. Theres not always an underlying sexual thing going on. For example, im a lesbian with tons of female friends who are queer as well, never once have I considered acting on something sexual or romantic with them. Its such a boring mindset to have, not every friend is a potential partner!!!
also like cody mentioned you can consider something sexual/romantic with them and then just...decide not to do that and stay friends, and that doesn't mean your whole friendship is fake lol! i feel like that's super common in queer friend groups, crushes and flirtations come and go and it doesn't have to blow up your whole friendship.
@@friday13thirteen exactly! Being friends with exes is such a queer stereotype but i truly think it is because we have been forced to explore so much of our sexuality on our own, that its become easier for us to separate different types of love , if that makes sense….
i THINK the main argument on to why it wouldn’t work is because of the men💀 women can easily be friends w anyone and we are better overall at controlling ourselves, but men are viewed by society as more animalistic and having no self control- which is not true for all men of course. but i don’t think women was ever the issue in this scenario.
This is EXACTLY what I was thinking, like it happens in the queer community all the time so why can't straight people do it?
I was friends with a woman who told me she was lesbian. We met online because of our love of photography and other things in common and decide to meet up, hang out, practice photoshoots and street photography. She soon developed feelings for me for some reason and then considered herself bisexual, even though I never tried to get her to like me like that. I tried to make it clear I only wanted to be friends and that our beliefs/differences would clash if we got too close. She still seemed intent on trying to make something work and our friendship was damaged soon after. Does this happen often?
If you’re only in it for the honeymoon phase, it’s about lust not love.
Facttsss
I feel like there's a lot of nuance that they don't really care to mention. Cody touched on this, but a male and female heterosexual friendship can still happen EVEN if one or both have sexual feelings for one another. Obviously they can act on those feelings as "friends", or they can acknowledge the feeling as natural, and then decide not to act on it out of respect for the friendship. This is what mature adults should be expected to do.
Most sane stance.
Almost like there are many facets to a romantic relationship. Met attractive people who I dont vibe with and the opposite
That woman in the sparkly red dress is saying some absolutely INSANE stuff, my gosh. If she’s a coach of some kind, I feel bad for any couples she’s coached. 😬
Most relationship coaches seem lost tbh.
SERIOUSLY!! She seems so deeply unhappy and is trying to drag people to her level to convince herself that her life isn’t sad and unsatisfying.
Also, ironic of her to mention kids ending up on stripper poles when she’s dressed like….. that.
I cannot get over her putting air quotes around “gay” during that first statement discussion omg
I bet she’s one of those «sprinkle sprinkle» alpha female people
@@ourxstorybeginsno fr like wdym they’re “gay” , they’re just gay 😭😭😭 why the quotes
The glitter gal is wild. I’ve heard her debate other YTers and she’s just… a lot.
She doesn’t even look like she’s in the same age range as the rest of these people- and she’s always the odd man out
Yeah, I immediately recognized her. I end up disagreeing with 95% of what comes out of her mouth
Oh…lord
Oh jesus...
Great way of putting it 😂
The biggest thing for me with the “can men and women be just friends” is like… as a bisexual woman… can I just never have friends? Lmao
It's such a dumb debate to begin with. Yes, there are men and women out there that are just waiting to take advantage of your body, but there are also tons of people with morals that see people as people and can control themselves. Also, just because the other person is of a different sex than you doesn't mean you're attracted to them. Some people just can't think rationally and therefore think everybody is like them.
That part! It's a very cis hetero debate
@@cooki3monstrrr cis hetero? What? Literally the same thing.
@@mathiasnkristensen No, because technically a transgender person could be in a hetero relationship.
I mean, there's a lot of factors in that. I, MYSELF, personally think it isn't easy for me because, I'm young, single and the sex drive is crazy. But definetily with maturity and having a partner it get way more managable.
Them almost unanimously agreeing that cheating is the worst thing your partner can do to you is so absolutely insane and naive
Seriously. I could think of like a dozen worse things off the top of my head
She justifies cheating as a "carnal indiscretion" girl who brainwashed you into letting men get away with infidelity lmfao
Men
I watched her on Jubilee's Male Feminists vs Female Anti-Feminists and the stuff she was saying was crazy, it was kinda scary how a woman could still think that way
i really cant believe they didnt all think murder is worse than cheating
they way they acknowledged it then said "well... But if they murdered me then I wouldn't exist whereas cheating I would still feel the pain...." Like trust me bro you'll eventually get over it let me see you get over them MURDERING YOU
@@loonartmsyou won’t see him getting over murder 😂
Yeah, presumptuous, but opens in my mind whole discussions in pain avoidance, for lack of a better way of saying it, instant gratification and our sense of danger in America.
How about the 75 trillion other things that are worse than cheating? Cheating is HORRIBLE. But come on bro. We can all think of like 10 things worse than cheating in 2 minutes.
Do you honestly think that the 'muder' answer from everyone would be an interesting response to this question??
saying cheating is the worst thing someone could do to you is crazy. literally torture exists. like what if they burned down ur house and unalived ur whole family????? how is that not as bad as cheating
It’s a stupidly worded prompt
@@MaidenHelll they definitely needed to put "that isn't illegal/physically harmful" at the end of that.
One of the girls mentioned your partner offing you…pay attention to the video
@@57goku one single mention. no need to be rude
I don't think they expected everyone to take it so literally lmao
is nobody going to adress the woman in red saying divorce leads children to the stripper pole?????? absolutely insane thing to say
Crazy jump lol I was floored that Cody didn't say anything and that Jubilee didn't show the others' reactions in the edit
Right,
is it tho?
@@revalone3944 insane thing to say, im a child of divorced parents and none of my siblings nor me have gotten on a stripper pole (even if you argue children of divorce are sluttier or whatever cause i've heard that, none of us are) I think its just a distasteful thing to say. you can also successfully raise a kid via co-parenting or just completely single.
@@lilymoran7397 but would you not say it’s more common for children of single parents to end up less well off than someone raised (well) by 2 parents? the mother father dynamic is also important you need both. not saying there aren’t a shit ton of ppl who do fine raised by just one
I think emotionally mature people can have friends of the opposite sex. There are plenty of thirsty men and women who's whole life somehow leads back to sex and so when it comes down to it do so friendships. I have two best friends and they are married. I depend on them both and they are both reliable and good to me. It is entirely possible
Exactly
Absolutely, just because you want to doesn't mean you should😂
Key word is emotionally mature, and let’s be real, most people aren’t.
It's just that people are rather impulsive and cheating seems maybe even attractive to seem people
Ya like people who go on these kind of shows are thirsty from the start- that’s why I couldn’t take red sparkly dress seriously from the get
Cheating on me would devastate me but messing with my family would be incomprehensible
Yeah, it’s just a horribly phrased question. Like domestic abuse exists and I think most of us can agree that this is worse than cheating
@@Flammewar me personally, i would rather get beaten to death by my partner than be cheated on
having known so many women that have been cheated on by physically abusive partners, i can tell you that the cheating was not the WORST thing about it. it is much easier to heal from being cheated on than it is to heal after abuse. the process of getting restraining orders, the PTSD, the nightmares, having to leave your entire life behind to move and escape that person- all of it is much worse than getting cheated on
The cheating question really irked me cause Jubilee could have phrased that as “I would forgive my partner if they cheated on me” and that would have been a better debate and topic of conversation. Pretty lazy work that they kept it phrased like that.
that’s a completely different question though, it was a good question and made a lot of debate and showed that majority of the group are very naive in believing that cheating is the worst that can happen
The real treasure was the Joels we made along the way.
And the Joels that we wish to achieve in the future
5:57 thank you Cody for saying that. Because it’s literally disregarding consent for a men. You can’t always assume that men are eagerly giving consent. That’s how you lead to quite literally assaulting people just because of their gender.
i love how cody is always so lost in the begginning of vids like this bc he gets confused of who’s agreeing with the statement and who’s not
I need someone to tell red dress lady about asexuals and try to explain it in a way that she'd eventually accept is real. It'd change so much maybe lol
and also bisexuals, would she think they arent allowed any friends 🤔🤔
seeing as she put air quotes around the word gay, I'm almost certain she wouldn't believe we exist no matter how hard someone tried to explain it to her
I mean, I'm not asexual but everything she said I pretty much disagreed with. Horrible takes imo
As a bisexual, I guess I can’t have friends at all LOL (not everyone you’re attracted to is something you’d act on. yes men and women can be and stay friends)
All bi yourself
i’m bi too, guess that’s why i don’t have friends. it’s all making sense now lol.
idk we should all be friends and prove em wrong
lol as a fellow bi i find myself always having almost equal girl and guy friends but the guy friends assume stuff sadly just bc I’m friendly with both they think I’m flirting or something, so i end up with a lot of gay guy friends instead 😂
Also saying that everyone is attracted to every single person of a certain gender presumption is wild. Like what are they really saying? Let's unpack that lol
i have on multiple occasions, not immediately been physically attracted to a person, but then gotten to know them emotionally, and the physical attraction built and suddenly i saw beauty in them that i hadnt before. which nobody talks about.
Exactly how I am. They become uniquely beautiful because of how I know them. It is intertwined.
ya i feel like more often then not this happens with a lot of men and their girl "friends"
Spectrum
My boyfriend of 7 years is this case. I didn't know i was bi until I started to develop romantic feelings for him but he was at a disadvantage because I didn't find men physically attractive. After 6-9 months of dating him is when I started to find him super attractive.
That might be true for women but not for men, we need to be physically attracted otherwise it’ll never happen
The first debate is the dumbest and longest running question i've heard all my life
cody laughing so hard at him saying “joal” instead of “goal” had me weakkk😭
Sometimes these videos shows the LACK of emotional maturity, because why would a man and woman not be able to have a friendship without attraction?? And how did nobody mention abuse as something worse than cheating 😭😭 I’d rather a man cheat on me than beat me because I’m not his ideal partner, cheating definitely does suck but there are worse things.
Right?? Like I was legit expecting more mature, more nuanced opinions. But they all seem like high school kids who've never heard about domestic abuse or that opposite-sex friendships exist.
Yes a bunch of emotional immature people here
Maybe cause most men dont see women as people
Most men are attracted to most women. Got nothing to do with emotional maturity, though I don't think that neccassarily makes it something other than a friendship unless we define in that specific way.
cody repeatedly calling it on the spectrum has me dead 💀
Like, this whole Jubilee program is autistic itself.
Lmaooo
good lord i could not have watched this video without cody. 14 minutes in and watching those people think that cheating is the worst thing… you could be beaten?? murdered?? but no definitely cheated on is the worst. humans are crazy
I think most of them would've changed their mind if someone put it in perspective
Even getting murdered isn't the worst thing that could happen to someone. Cheating shouldn't make top 10 of worst things on any list for anyone
Well, honestly, I'd rather be dead than cheated on. Because in one of those situations, you have to go through the feelings and in the other one, there's nothing to feel . HOWEVER!! That guy that said, "you could kill my mother", now I agree with that guy that cheating is not the worst thing, they could kill your FAMILY! And that's very different. You're alive to suffer about it and your family members are dead? No way, everybody has to be on strongly disagree.
@@Phil-tn5ny you're tripping dude lol
@@Phil-tn5nythat’s ridiculous and I’m very sorry you feel that way. Getting cheated on is not the end of the world. It’s the start of a new chapter.
I'm pansexual. Gender doesn't even come into it for me. I don't care what mish mash of bits and bobs you have. Just because I have the ability to be attracted to anyone, does that mean I'm not capable of being friends with anyone? Because I can most certainly tell you, I have a lot of strictly platonic relationships.
Honestly, it's really depressing to not have friends that are a different gender than yourself and friends with different sexual orientation...you can learn so much from each other.
My best friend growing up is male, I'm female, we've been strictly platonic for 30 years. And we've learned so much from each other. He's taught me a lot about men and vice versa.
I am also pansexual and that's what I've been saying!!
You are not a man. Pansexual men cant be friends with anyone(in general). There are true M/F friendships but they are really rare. If you even once think about sex its not true any more...
“From a Christian standpoint men and women can’t be friends” is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard
Jesus famously never hung out with Mary
it doesnt even make any sense too lmfao
@@clowncargaming8046bruh that’s his mom
@@nateskate11Mary Magdalene, different Mary.
@@nateskate11there’s another Mary in the Bible. Magdeline
I’m so sick of the polyamory and monogamy argument when there’s NO argument to be had omf. It’s literally all about what’s best for you - wholy subjective like neither is bad
omg exactly. it's extremely annoying imo. like who gives a flying fuck lmao
As long as people are respectful to each other and not shitty humans who gives a fuck lmao
and the guy just straight up calling him lazy and a "sin" IMMEDIATELY after he explained why it works for him like omf plz
@@e-dogg34 already know he's homophobic
The dude is self projecting.
It is in fact lazy of him, to just up and call all/most people around lazy for divorcing and breaking up their relationships, instead of him doing some reflection and thought into monogamy/monoamorous type of lifestyle and why it doesn't work. That maybe monogamy/monoamorous type of relationship might be at fault and something that doesn't work for all people.
First off, men are kind of, sort of built to be polyamorous.
Through pron viewing studies, visually we usually if not always get turned on through novelty. We got a whole bunch of different videos, because one video isn't enough and sometimes we search for more/new ones too.
And frankly speaking that might be true for women and pron too.
And many people have double standards and are hypocrites. While they wouldn't forgive cheating from their partner, they have cheated or eventually cheat. And other times they would cheat under certain circumstances that simply have not been met/did not occur.
Then again Christians(and not only, generally religious people) tend to be very narrow minded, hypocritical, having double standards and preach things that they don't follow and/or they have little to no idea about. So it's not surprising that the dude falls in line with that.
Last but not least, do you know how much effort and suffering/ordeal some people have to go through to get that divorce/break up? And what repercussions may follow after that?
Doesn't seem like it.
I love how people laughed when she said “they could kill you” as if domestic violence or feminicides aren’t a real issue
Awkward laughs bro, it’s not that deep
That's so real
Women are more likely to commit domestic violence, which isn't talked about enough btw.
wait i swear i see you in so many comment sections??
@@lilacfields Me or birdie?
"But right now is fucking beautiful" is such a good quote i love that
it never crosses the minds of men, who say that women and men can't just be "friends", that they could befriend a women that they're not attracted to. They think men and women can't just be friends because they only want to be "friends" with women that they're attracted to. Therefore putting themselves in the "friendzone".
wow, as a guy, I am completely guilty of this. As someone who's been trying to put themselves out there to find a partner, but also make friends, I've realized that I've unfortunately let the two mix, leading me to gravitate toward women I find attractive out of romantic interest, while also trying to befriend them. It's an important distinction to make, because I have had unfortunate experiences from doing exactly what you said. Thank you for bringing this up
I have a really attractive friend of mine who often grabs the attention of a lot of men. It makes me mad when I see men trying to befriend her just to get with her and or have underlying intentions AND ITS SO OBVIOUS. Its disgusting because shes naive and genuinely thinks they just want to be friends. While their are guys who are genuine, they are rare. I think men and woman can be friends, but not just ALL, obviously their are people who just want a hit and run.
Those are the guys that always expect it to lead somewhere if they only befriend people they are attracted too and then get pised when it doesn't lead to where they expected and they are put in the 'friendzone'. To add, most of those dudes believe they are 'nice guys who finish last'. It's so silly
It's also extra weird that they can't conceive of the idea that they don't need to fuck or date every single woman they find hot. In Scandinavia (where I've lived my whole life), pretty much everyone has friends of different genders. Lots of men have hot female friends they never hit on, and vice versa. For the longest time, I thought the idea that men and women can't be friends was some exaggerated Hollywood thing, because it makes absolutely no sense to view other people as sexual objects to that degree.
And women.
yes men and women can be friends, that's obvious. if u say otherwise i assume u think all men/women relationships are inherently sexual which isn't always the case
i think the question should of been if you find the person attractive can you be freinds
@@tezzz4208yea that would’ve been a better way to phrase it - would’ve liked to see that
yeah half of these people are genuinely deranged
I've had my three best friends that are women for over a decade. I'm a man. Never once have we crossed that line and once you've gone years, you don't ruin shit over being horny or lonely. It's disrespectful to both people. Plus, if you ACTUALLY have game, you don't get desperate waiting for your friends to like you.
Exactly! I am a woman and I have had always, always!!, friends of the opposite sex and no…. No lust involved at all.
Fr, I have female friends that were my roommates in university and they're like sisters to me.
Cody,if this social media gig implodes,you have a bright future in marriage counseling😊
Asking if he cares more about his money than his relationship is such a cheap shot. Like the relationship wasn't dead anyways if his partner stole 250k.
Most of these kids are probably in college, they haven't lived through much yet.
Right? Both getting cheated on and having your money stolen is your partner breaking the trust you are supposed to have in a relationship, so essentially it's the same. They could say the same to her "so you care more about sex than your relationship?". Both are horribly things to do but at the end of the day you can argue that stealing that amount of money is worse than cheating since it both broke trust and his bank account.
saying men and women can’t be just friends means that you’re attracted to every single person you’re friends with and that seems stupid? Like you’re telling me that that guy has NEVER seen a woman he didn’t wanna sleep with? very weird
Yesss! I hate when people say guys and girls can’t be friends cause of this. It honestly grosses me out. I have good guy friends that are strictly platonic and they would 100% say the same.
There are plenty of women I've considered "just a friend" because I wasn't attracted to them in the tiniest bit. There are also girls that, if given the chance, I'd sleep with. But that chance was nearly non-existent, so I didn't even try and kept it as friend (or acquaintance).
@@alaeacusmcfly4353oh…so you’re just friends with girls you don’t consider attractive? pls elaborate if i’m wrong
sorry not sorry most men will stick it anywhere. true statement. cant trust em. testosterone destroys them.
@@alaeacusmcfly4353 yeaahh I think that’s usually how it goes! It must be miserable to not have the cognitive ability to put your attraction to someone aside
polyamorous guy was FROTHING at the mouth when that guy called him lazy for not commiting to one person
regarding polyamory and primary/secondary partners: it's not inherently hurtful to be someone's secondary partner. there's many situations where it just works for everyone involved. e.g. for two people who both already have their own primary partners it just makes sense to be each others' secondary. some people don't have primary partners at all - if someone likes to be very independent or has a very demanding job or social life, they might feel more comfortable as a secondary. or they might enjoy dating someone but not see themself becoming so entangled that they become primaries, even if it's their only realtionship. some people don't use these terms at all in their relationships and reject this sort of hierarchy. there's so many configurations in polyam, it's not as easy as "secondary = less important"
(of course it can hurt when one person doesn't want to be just someone's secondary, but one person wanting "more" out of a relationship and being hurt is often the case in monogamous dating as well)
Yeah I was thinking and although I'm not poly I think the idea of being a secondary partner as someone who is an introvert and needs a lot of alone time could seem nice because then the person I'm with won't be alone and there won't be pressure to hang out with them as often when I need to recharge. So maybe I am poly 😭😭
Cody saying "murder" at the "cheating is the worst thing my partner could do to me" at the same time I also said "murder" to myself makes me wonder if I've been watching him for too long (and the answer would be yes, been watching him since the beginning of times)
Okay, nobody asked.
@@misanthropexoxo9618 damn chill, shes jsut making a happy comments dont gotta ruin the vibe
I'm a woman. Every guy friend I've ever gotten close enough with (hanging out one on one) has developed feelings for me. What sucks is when they ask me out and I don't reciprocate those feelings, every single one of them (except my current best guy friend) has stopped talking to me. That's paradoxically been the biggest hit to my self confidence. It's so objectifying
fr I really wanna believe we can all be friends but when this is our experience and the experience of so many women... it's just sad I don't know. I do believe mature men out there exist but it's definitely not as common as I would like
Yeah almost all my male friends disappeared the moment I was in a relationship. Feels bad knowing they never actually cared about me as a friend
Yeah, me too with maybe one exception. So, I would go on disagree because I absolutely can be just friends with men, but there does seem to be a pattern that like 80% of straight guys cannot develop a CLOSE relationship with women without catching feelings. Just friends or acquaintances is one thing, but every time I get close with a guy they seem to develop physical attraction. I think maybe it would be better off if it was socially acceptable for men to have close friendships like women do. In that way I'd say for me it's a red flag if a guy I want to be friends with never has close friendships with other dudes because that means there's a very high chance that he can't stay just friends with me if I start to open up or hang out one on one with them.
I am a woman and I have had opposite experience than you .- always had friends and best friends even … some are single some are couple up …. Never had feelings for each others. Ever. Only friendship. Such a blessing.
same. i’ve had male friends who sexually assaulted me, lied to people about sleeping with me, and some who try to take me out on dates and others who have admitted to having feelings for me. it really sucks that they can’t just appreciate me as a friend.
as someone who was cheated on by a partner, and in a severe domestic violence situation with a different one, saying cheating is the worst thing that could happen is insane. i would take getting cheated on three more times before ever being in a DV situation. he ruined my life. i’m still recovering years later. yeah getting cheated on sucked, and i actually thought i was gonna marry the person who cheated on me, and i’ve never felt the way about someone like the person before he cheated on me, but i will always pick that over having my head sent through dry wall or almost getting choked out.
im glad that you're recovering, thats a really terrible situation, and yes i agree. like getting cheated on definitely hurts emotionally and is disgusting (and also very disgusting if the person cheating gives you a disease bc of it) but there are a lot of really horrible things that people can do to ruin your life and ruin you physically long term, and ik from watching my parents. getting your partner hooked on drugs is terrible, screaming and hitting is terrible, hurting your own children is VERY terrible. it can get very very dark, which the people in the video weren't considering, so just a regular case of "my boyfriend cheated on me and then we broke up" can be better since you're actually able to escape without a lot of collateral damage (hopefully)
@@iam_crumb no. thats just YOu and its totally legit and understandable. but cheating IS psychological abuse!! cheating can cause severe trauma and ptsd just like physical violence. ITS BOTH EXTREMELY HORRIBLE. some people will never ever get over the fact that someone they trusted with all their heart cheated on them. it literally destroys lives and people dont get that. i know someone who now has to live on the streets because their wife cheated on them and they got into such a big depression spiral so that they were no able to do anything . its so fucked up that cheating nowadays is so normalized and MINIMZED... im TIRED of people minimizing it. YES, violence leaves horrible scars, but cheating does to, but you are not able to see it directly. but the mental pain stays forever
I think living in a toxic environment with parents that hate each other can potentially be worse for a child’s mental health then living in a broken family
cody commiting to the bit of saying "joels" instead of goals throughout the entire vid made me so happy.
He takes jokes and runs with them
Damn, “relationships get worse not better” is the worst piece of advice Ive ever heard. My partner and I have been together for years, and we are stronger now than ever before… Every year we get better as partners and individuals. Lol, I also wasn’t immediately attracted to him (for lame reasons tbh), but then after chatting at hikes and parties the attraction developed naturally. And this is the best relationship Ive ever had, we plan on getting married… I also met him through a platonic girl friend of his that I was also friends with sooo… my life contradicts everything miss red dress had to say.
yeah, you could say relationship get harder not easier, but if you put in the work they definitely get better and stronger.
yeah it's a bad generalization that is oversimplified. It relies on the idea that negative traits come to light more intensely/often as infatuation ceases. But long term, it's very possible to keep things light and grow together as people
Achieving joals was ONLY funny because of how funny Cody found it 😂😂😂
The guy and girl who were hitting it off at the end... Crazy how this wasn’t a dating episode and there were two people interested in each other while in so many of The Button episodes (or other similar ones where people are actually looking for someone) there are no matches
People only say 'men and women can't be friends' if they've never been friends with someone of the opposite sex. It's such a childish and close-minded thing to think.
my Asexual ass is very confused why people have the notion everyone wants to sleep with everyone
And she looks too old to be saying that
In my opinion the lady in the red dress entire identity is based off of people being sexually attracted to her so she can't imagine people not falling into that slim world view.
Absolutely
It’s very obvious and it makes me feel bad for her
I interpreted her views differently; she sounds so much like my mom and many of my mom’s views on relationships and sex stem from her trying to cope with my dad being unfaithful. I don’t see her views as coming from a place of “everyone is attracted to me”, rather it seems it comes from a place of “men are going to be unfaithful no matter what so we women have to accept that”. I think she’s just coping really hard and trying to rationalize whatever shitty situation she may be in
1000% agree with you, Trang! Maybe she also dresses that way in an effort to keep her man’s wandering eyes on her only.
chick looks like a caricature
@@sierrahultgren945 yesss that would totally make sense!!
bro i am literally crying in the gym rn from the acheiving joels bit
The guy saying he was destroyed by cheating bc he built himself up based on other s' validation...that was sad. Dont base your value on that you have to build it yourself to be happy.
Yeah, he seems like a guy who would get cheated on - which is kind of a gross thing to say but true
Men who claim they can't be friends with women without underlying romantic intentions is the biggest self report lol
exactlyyy!! like thanks for telling me you don’t see women as anything other than sex objects lmao
@@kaycuties hahah exactly
What’s funny is that the guys who say men and women can’t be friends are often the ones that think of women mostly as a means to sex, and having a woman as a friend is SUCH a good way to get dates if you’re a man
or there saying there can be tension regardless. unless your not physically attracted to someone at all its rare to be ''just friends'' it doesn't mean you act on those urges. imo
It’s mad that she’s like oh yes let’s work on this if you cheated on me cuz of my kid.
Girl, you can co-parent in a healthy way and teach your kid not to let people disrespect them without staying in a marriage that makes you unhappy.
Men and women can be friends, but there needs to be a distinct line of where the relationship is. If the relationship is just plain weird and there are there sexual undertones then of course not. My bf had a "girl best friend" where she would send bikini pics to him unprovoked WHILE HE WAS TALKING ABOUT ME, would say "i love youuuu muah" on birthday cards for him, and would ask for steamy photoshoots to "get back at boys" that she was entertaining. (He was a photographer) He never entertained that and i was totally not okay with that. But he ALSO has a group of 3 girls that he chills with that are respectful, kind, and always invite me to their gatherings too. Very wholesome group of girls. Its possible, but it cant be weird and theres boundaries to not touch. I didnt fw the girl best friend but the girl group i respect. Men and women can both be malicious.
Yeah, it’s almost as if people are people and every person is different despite their gender
@@ballooneyjr4294 just sharing my experience dude
@@cindylouhoo5641they’re agreeing with you, dude
Lol thank you yes I was@@steph2190
The women in the red dress seems like she’s just used to toxic relationships and just accepts men treating her poorly :/
nah she's sexist herself, looks down on other women and has very traditional views on gender.
@@aldranzam3456 she without a doubt misogynist but it seems like it came from past relationships with men and just accepting that all men will be bad, so she thinks by changing her and other women's behavior will stop the men from acting badly. Instead of attacking the patriarchy she trying the "if you cant beat them join them" mindset.
yep, she reminds me lot of my mother
@@aldranzam3456 yes but I think that was a result of toxic relationships and being treated poorly, she accepted it
She seems both misogynistic and still kinda misandrist at the same time
the joel bit was so good and the call back at the end 😭😭 “jeeol” it hits different when cody is dying too 😂
achieving joals... the headphones falling.... had me dead in this one. I'm so grateful to have your videos to watch Cody. I had a bad day today and this was the only time I really got to laugh. Also physical abuse is worse than cheating and men and women can be friends. Ok goodnight
8:55 someone's looks can actually change in my eyes based on their personality. One guy, who I thought was average (and just not my type) became very attractive to me because of his personality (I even slept with him). Really hot men have become physically ugly to me based on their personality. Typically, it's about the personality, but I have to have been physically attracted to them from the start OR became physically attracted to them via their personality. Great examples: I find Pete Davidson hot for his personality, which was immediately presented to me when watching him on SNL. I did not find Ryan Gosling that attractive, but i was unfamiliar with most of his work, so I just saw him as the guy from the Notebook (a movie I never saw because I hate that genre), but now after seeing him in Barbie, I see the appeal because I got a taste of his humor.
2:38 stuff like this is super hilarious to me. Because it’s obviously anecdotal. It’s about who you interact with. I have friends that have never been attracted to me and I didn’t expect them to. Because everyone is different and you are allowed to be attracted to different things. It’s just absurd.
Exactly I had so many guy friends that were not attracted to me. They exist they’re not rare 😭
I think men and women can absolutely just be friends, but it can be tricky to make those friendships happen sometimes, because I feel like so many people take the opposite sex being nice and friendly to them as flirting, rather than... just being friendly. but saying that it can't happen is insane, like, you're cutting yourself off from potential friendships with half of the world's population just because of their sex. that's wild.
Idk who needs to hear this, but: if someone cheats on you, and that results in the family "breaking up" because you chose not to tolerate it...
IT'S NOT. YOUR. FAULT.
It's theirs. Period.
Don't let anyone shame you into staying with someone. Divorce is not always a bad thing.
“Relationships get worse not better.”
Yikes my girl. Can’t relate.
To have a little Jeeeol just scurrying around the house, to see another Jeeeol cuddled in the arms of your loved one and to see your own eyes reflected on those of your dearest Jeeeol... That's the dream guys... that's truly achieving Jeeeols
I love learning about straight culture through watching cody ko watch these videos
YEAH LMFAOOO
Wayyyyyy more of it has to do with if they or their parents were ever evangelical. It just so happens that of course that demographic has a LOT of straight people 💀
I, as straight person, also love learning about straight culture through Cody Ko videos b/c omg
Ohh this is why these people seem crazy to me
Listening to the lady in red as an ace is sooo exhausting 😭😭
I think what she meant by "relationships only get worse" is that it gets harder. And the more initial attraction, similarities, compatibility and chemistry there was, the more incentivised you might be to really work hard on the relationship. If their personality is "all" that you like about them, you might be more inclined to stop working on it once you start to see all the things you don't like about their personality.
This should have been a collab with Kelsey because there's definitely a few times where I think Cody didn't get the girls' perspective. Women becoming physically attracted to people after liking their personality is pretty common. Also women aren't always feeling the sexual energy when in a guy/girl friendship like I think guys are.
defffinitely. codys got somewhat nuanced perspectives, but kelseys def better at understanding different ones, imo. and she wouldve roasted the participants nicely too haha
This is so real. I think it would be fun to have Kelsey join in for more videos like these, or like the Best Friends Being Honest one. Ones that involve controversial questions and opinions like this.
The girl in the red corset and black skirt was styled so well and so pretty!
I think she’s an astrology tiktoker