How to Set Boundaries Without Being Fake or Feeling Drained

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  • Опубліковано 1 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 31

  • @Gothicforever1790
    @Gothicforever1790 Місяць тому +11

    This won’t work with insecure, narcissistic people. But with people who are normal enough this strategy is beneficial

  • @MrSimonw58
    @MrSimonw58 Місяць тому +21

    Just tried this with a girl ... response was .... I never want to see you again ... oh well , rejection is protection

  • @victoriahoganson6257
    @victoriahoganson6257 Місяць тому +4

    I love this message Dan! It’s holding the highest good in mind (I’m here to help), using various ways to respond with that in mind, thus steering the conversation and intention back to what’s most important without dissing the other person. It also helps US remember and keep to our ideals, lol! Thank you for taking us to the next level! 🎉❤

  • @gabrielle-AV-n-PFloyd
    @gabrielle-AV-n-PFloyd Місяць тому +3

    This is priceless...thank you!

  • @richardhimes3723
    @richardhimes3723 Місяць тому +16

    Hey Dan the man, Happy Thanksgiving!!! 🦃

  • @Archivist82
    @Archivist82 Місяць тому +10

    It’s flash card time! Need to have this acronym at my desk and ready during meetings. (And maybe practice in the mirror!)

  • @truemanlynch2741
    @truemanlynch2741 Місяць тому +9

    Dan always brings the heat!!!!! I love it.

  • @BlackMasterJoe89
    @BlackMasterJoe89 28 днів тому +1

    Sorry for this long comment. Something happened to me less than a month ago that I can't understand. Long story short, I was in a Discord call with some other people, friends, and we were watching a movie. The person in charge of the movie night has a feature where people can use sound effects and also there's a live chat for people to talk. And I really wanted to concentrate on the movie, but some people we're very chatty and used sound effects A LOT. And eventually it got to the point where I couldn't concentrate and told everyone I had to leave. My words were, "I can't watch this movie, chat is too distracting." One person took that extremely hard. They unfriended me and now they pretty much ignore me. Which was confusing to me because days prior, they had been extremely bubbly and excited to talk to me and pretty much laughed at everything I said. Also, days before the movie night, we shared private messages about our struggles with our family, loneliness, and certain racial issues we had in common. I learned they also struggle with alcoholism and things like self-hatred and low self-esteem. So, was I the asshole in this situation? I felt like I betrayed them but I'm having trouble understanding how me leaving produced such an extreme reaction. They went from hot to cold in a day. I'd really like hearing your thoughts on this. In retrospect, I wished I had just left without saying anything.

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  27 днів тому +4

      I see absolutely nothing wrong with your comment. If this was enough for people to unfriend you--so be it. You don't need friends such as that.

  • @SFGiantsfan_in_NC
    @SFGiantsfan_in_NC 6 днів тому

    I just lol’d at the look at your outfit comment

  • @3941602
    @3941602 Місяць тому +7

    Gold.

  • @Laura8-pearl
    @Laura8-pearl Місяць тому +2

    I love you, Dan. You are a light in the darkness 💡

  • @lhs1221
    @lhs1221 Місяць тому +2

    Great advice for so many situations!

  • @markmower1746
    @markmower1746 Місяць тому +4

    Great!

  • @lisa_loves1621
    @lisa_loves1621 Місяць тому +1

    This is gold! Thank you.

  • @michellestephenson9349
    @michellestephenson9349 Місяць тому +1

    ❤❤❤ that was timely, thank you!

  • @alliehanson9341
    @alliehanson9341 Місяць тому +1

  • @DalesValor
    @DalesValor Місяць тому +1

    Great stuff!

  • @SarahRejsa-oi6bq
    @SarahRejsa-oi6bq Місяць тому +2

    This was an awesome video! The DART approach sounds like a number 1 on the Enneagram! "The Reformer" or "The Improver." So if somebody used the DART approach on me, it would work like a charm because I am a numbet 5, and number 5 is most compatible with number 1 and number 9. Number 9s are "The Peacemakers." So that raises an interesting question.🤔Are there specific Communicatinon Tactics that work better for certain numbers? They are all Universal, but I know that if some Tactics were used on me, I might get my feelings hurt (LOL) because some are more agressive. But I would love the DART because it would focus me back to what I should be doing and it would almost automatically get me to agree with almost anything! Thanks Dan, you have taught me so much. The Enneagram is not a perfect science, but it really comes close to pin pointing our personalities, even though it's not exact. For example, now don't laugh at me, 😁 but I read that the number 5s are the least likely number to get married!😢 when I read that, I literally started to cry a little, it was more like my eyes teared up and I felt sad. But when I read further, I read that the reason why is because most number 5s PREFER to be single. And for me that is not the case at all. I don't prefer to be single. I think it was Shakespear who said "Know Thy Self."🤔 Or maybe it was Buddha? Idk. But when we know our Enneagram number we can also change certain aspects about ourselves that we don't like. The number can be maluable. It's so eerie how accurate the number fits though, eerie in a good way. And we can change the things that we don't like about our number. I still need to order the book you suggested. I was just Googling stuff about the Enneagram. Thank you for bringing it to my attention. I know that you talk more about it in some of your online courses, which I will be taking down the road. 😊💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

  • @Cozy_Cat01
    @Cozy_Cat01 Місяць тому +1

    The concern with yes/no questions is some personalities are completely unable to say yes/no in their answer. They hear your question as open ended and will only answer it in an open ended way. Can you please address this?

  • @Teal_Moon
    @Teal_Moon Місяць тому +1

    😂😂 great stuff. Thank you 👑

  • @user-ov4wr5yu4r
    @user-ov4wr5yu4r Місяць тому

    Someone said to me "I'm trying to have a professional conversation with you." I guess he missed the part where he cites the benefit to me. (I only strayed from the main point a bit, and actually it's very insulting that he implied I wasn't professional.)( If you read this, you may recall you didn't make a sale. )

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  Місяць тому +1

      I'm not sure about the sale comment--but yes, I read these :)

  • @michellejoy6752
    @michellejoy6752 Місяць тому +1

    🎤💥

  • @emmal1641
    @emmal1641 Місяць тому

    yeah, that’s all great, but what about people who widely overstepped boundaries?!?! men who touch woman without their consent; you wanna stay calm at that? as the woman… i don’t think so…

    • @TheWizardOfWords
      @TheWizardOfWords  Місяць тому +3

      @emmal1641 you are describing sexual harassment which goes WAY BEYOND overstepping boundaries. This video is not about sexual harassment.