I mean, it IS funny just how much this guy has to say about literal shitting but they clearly have the knowledge and experience to share They uhh know their shit
So do I. While everyone was clamoring for TP, I purchased an in-seat bidet toilet lid. You "demote" shower towels to bidet use (floss method) to dry your rectum. Once you've had enough of that, it becomes a "sopping-up" floor towel until the laundry cycle is ready. The anus acclimates to a higher-pressure environment, so you won't have to deal with leftover feces *ever* if you do it right.
I love how reddit just unanimously crowned this person as the Bidet expert cause let's be honest I use one and I didn't even know there were so many nuances to it till this guy pointed it out
@@aliceiscalling If your stool is so soft that you are always essentially having liquid shits, that isn't normal, if that isn't the case and you're assuming one wipe works, you are really fucking gross
People rarely talk about their habits in the bathroom, so when they finally do they find there is little consensus but some very strong and very specific opinions. Basically everyone that does it slightly different is labelled disgusting, and also everyone does it slightly differently. However edit #5 is just objective fact, people with college degrees were paid serious money to make sure paper towels hold it together when wet but toilet paper does the opposite.
Edit 5 should be obvious but the number times the people working on city sewage pipes have had to remove the giant solid masses those "flushable" wipes turn into over time, prove that it really needs to be said more often.
"Basically everyone that does it slightly different is labelled disgusting, and also everyone does it slightly differently." This is so true. Can't even remember how often people called me disgusting on reddit for saying that washing yourself everyday is enough and it doesn't need to be a full shower every day. People get really judgemental about people they don't even know for the tiniest of things.
The people from the stickiest climates get confused why you _wouldn't_ shower all the time, and the rest decide they have to defend their extra amount of showers instead of just leaving things be. Every couple days is just fine for whole showers.
Gods, I remember going to a really humid seaside city. As soon as I stepped outside the hotel, I was _immediately_ sticky all over. Literally instant. It felt so gross. I can understand why those guys shower every day
@@AklyonX While that's fair, at *least* the down below bits need to be cleaned properly every day. And, frankly, it's faster and more convenient to just hop in the shower to do that process rather than trying to use a bowl and wash cloth or some such. Definitely no need to soap and wash cloth every inch of your body every single day, but if you're engaging in any kind of intimacy with your partner it's pretty important to be clean.
The fact they are playing this completely straight is respectable. Yeah, it's weird, but all knowledge is valid and sharing experiences is how we learn- even in regard to pooping.
@@lemontonk your allowed too pretty much anything, but going into excruciatingly precise detail on how you clean you butt after pooping is by in large seen as a, ehhh, taboo subject. Just because everyone does it doesn't mean everyone wants to hear about it, even in this context.
Bidet tip: never buy the bidet that shoots out a sad, slow, desperate stream of water, preferrably, use the bidet that shoots out a strong, hard and straight stream of water and has recoil, completely removes the poop stains, further reducing the use of toilet paper/hands. Edit: Such inexperienced fellows fret upon mention of “Hands”, While Yes, it may be unsanitary, that’s why you wash your hands after… Learning the technique of ‘Wipe’ with your hands will be of great use to you, so if ever you do not have toilet paper, or other pieces of cloth at your own disposal, your hands will be there for you, as they always were. Ever notice why our fingers are so eccentrically shaped to perfectly get every nook and cranny down there? They were made for cleaning, as they always were. But still, USE TOILET PAPER!! It’s why it exists!
@@eusopao5926not necessarily bolt it, but you should use some sort of binder between the bidet and floor when installing, same thing that keeps the toilet from moving
Technically like 90% of the things in your house aren't really necessary, but they do help to have a better quality of life. Once you've experienced having a washed butthole, you can never go back to toilet paper only. You just feel dirty.
@@moteroargentino7944 I understand feeling more dirty with just toilet paper, however the friction it provides does a well enough job at cleaning all debris off. Sure it probably won't get rid of the bacteria and whatnot, but a lot of it is beneficial for you anyway so whatever.
@@moteroargentino7944True. In SEA almost every house has a bumgun in its restrooms and I don't get how people feel comfortable using only TP to clean their ass.
And this hasn’t even delved into the realm of periods. A bidet is worth it for that alone for us period havers. No more feeling the need to shower when you get home to wash away the dry blood. Glorious.
Period havers? What on earth is a period haver? Is that like a school term? Who do you have next period? I have period 3 as free then Mr Jones. Ah Mr Jones, i hear he has lots of periods. Yes it is true, bag fulls of full-stops, but only a small container of commas. Period haver smh.
Reading this shit from an Italian perspective is surreal. We usually have a bidet (not the spraying surrogate attached to a WC) a dedicated soap (positively more than one to also respect different pHs of genitals) and a personal towel. That's the norm.
@@kricku well yeah but if the waddling upsets you, you can jump screaming "HEY!" Like Edwards or something, if you hit something in the process you can call an "AND ONE!" to an imaginary ref, in the end just whatever incentivizes you to don't go around with a crusty anus and cheesy penis, you know?
im italian and we have a separate bathroom fixture as a bidet (not just a hose attached to your water, although those are usually found in public stalls), its like, a large bowl meant for you to sit on that has a faucet with warm and cool water. we usually sit on it after pooping and wash our bum with both water AND soap (and yes, using hands to clean it all away), and then pat dry with a dedicated towel only for the intimate area.
I've always seen them in rich houses and never understood the reasoning for having a separate bowl for a bidet. Do you just... get up and scooch over while your asshole is filthy?
I am glad to know Europeans (or at least Italians) wash their anus with soap unlike Americans. How could one possibly conceive that you wash your whole body with soap and then *not* soap the part that comes in contact with poop? They're mad.
@Justgreen89925 We don’t have pressure washers in our toilets, but we few Americans who use a bidet connect the bidet toilet attachment to the water lines that fill the toilet tank. That way we don’t have to bother with another fixture to use alongside the toilet we already have, and we get about the same water pressure as your separate bidet fixture does.
Cleaning your teeth is the only time you clean your skeleton. Edit: can you guys please just shut up with the “teeth aren’t bones”? It’s getting annoying, I’ve already answered the same comment many times, please just stop :c
@@devlintaylor9520 The reason you only flush toilet paper is because it is made to break down when it gets wet. Paper towels are made to hold together when they get wet, so they'd be very bad for the plumbing. Those flushable wipes kind of break down, but not as well as toilet paper, so that's why the package says only one per flush.
There is some truth to what he's saying, but I really hope he's the only one on earth exercising their anus to wash itself. On the other hand, you SHOULD use your hands to clean, even if there is poop still on your butt (just clean your hands afterwards), because the water only does some of the job. Last tip, yes you can use toilet paper to check for cleanliness, but please use many layers and if you ARE clean, use a towel to dry off. Sorry for the long reply, but TL:DR he's kinda right and kinda weird af (especially the anus thing)
I've always wiped first and then washed myself on the bidet, never seen it as a way to use less toilet paper but rather as a method to make extra sure that I'm clean.
I shared this exact view when I was a kid. One place I lived had one, but I don't think I ever used it. I don't remember exactly when I learnt the idea was to wash literal chunks of poo from your butt. I know it really changed my view on bidets though. Hard not to see them as some sort of shit basin, which is a big change from a kids view of "that funny sink next too the loo".
@@bg3841 to be honest I think it might be cultural differences or even the fact that people don't like talking about it, where I live bidets are a common thing you find in most houses and I believe most people use them the same way I've always did, but occasionally I've heard people make comments hinting that they use it the other way. Then there's the people that have them in their house but admit to never use it which always confused me a bit, also I'm pretty sure that it's a lot more common for men to use the bidet than it is for women. I remember my dad insisting that he would never live in a place without a bidet while my mom told me she never liked using them. I dunno, I'm 34 and at this point I'm not gonna change my ways.
Exactly, the dedicated bidet should be used to wash what you couldn't get off with the paper, because 1) if you get up with a dirty bum from the toilet to switch places there's a chance you could leave a trace, and 2) it's not directly connected to the main black water pipe, nor is it engineered to easily wash out big chunks of matter the same way as a toilet, so on a bad day you might make a mess. The ones that you CAN use right after you finished your business are the ones that you can install on the lid of the toilet itself, so everything goes in the same place. Those are the best in my opinion.
@@Justgreen89925se il bidet/doccia ha una pressione decente basta il getto d'acqua in realtà, chiaro però che dipende anche dal caso specifico, cioè perdonami la dettagliezza ma se hai due metri quadri di cacarella spruzzata per rimbalzo sulle chiappe forse è meglio usare un po' di carta prima di dover fare il salterello dal cesso al bidet P.S. comunque non capisco tutta questa fobia che hanno sti qui dell'idea di sporcarti una mano che tanto lavi due secondi dopo sotto lo stesso getto magari pure con lo stesso detergente, cioè in caso contrario vai abbastanza alla cieca, tanto valeva non controllare nemmeno
My shower towels are demoted in a specific order: Showers (standard usage) Bum-drying towel (post-bidet usage) Floor (to sop up my kids' wild bath spray)
Usually it doesn't make much difference to me whether I have a bidet or not. But it's really nice to have when I get acidic poops and need to wash that shit off before my ass becomes raw the rest of the day. Toilet paper just rubs the acid in and makes it usually hurt worse.
This is solid advice! I took my first trip outside of the US last year and knew that there would be a bidet in the bathroom of my hotel room. So I did some research and found a lot of the same stuff this person is saying. But naturally, you never know till you try it. I liked it and ought an attachment for my toilet here when I returned. It still took a lot of trial and error to figure out what process made me feel the most clean while reducing toilet paper use and also didn't leave me with wet undies
I have been wanting a bidet and better wipe experience and had so many questions about the bidet. Not only did I manifest the answers but it came thru this video and channel. Magic is all around me.
If you're gonna clean your hands with soap and water after going to the toilet, you should do the same for the direct area of contact if you ask me LMAO
My favorite metaphor to illustrate the importance of water in bathroom hygiene: "Imagine a seagull shat on your hand. Would you just wipe it with a tissue and call it clean?"
Here to add more: reusable cloth TP reduces the use of paper TP even more. It's soft, you get a fresh one every time, and they have cute designs. PS there's sanitizer laundry soap to keep it hospital clean. 😉
I actively use my free hand to wash my hole area. That way i ensure the cleanliness of my hole and prevents future itch. You just need to make sure the spray wasn't too strong so it won't enter the hole because that water could breed other bacteria you don't want inside
Just use a shower bidet. More control on pressure and angle, and very convenient for things like bathroom/toilet cleaning due to extended range and versatility. Also, a very compact installation since it is essentially just a small hose or shower head attached to water pipe and hung up somewhere.
@@Ravie3 Yeah, it's basically just a handheld bidet, and it's not really a shower head, just kinda looks like one shrunk down (more like a garden hose to be honest). It's very convenient and works as sort of an add-on to the toilet or sink that you can pull wherever you need to spray water. It may seem weird if you are not used to it, but it's basically as if you are wiping with paper-just with a handheld water stream. I literally cannot go back from using it, and a regular bidet feels baffling in comparison: why do you need a whole different basin for cleaning your backside, when you can pull the water to you with a compact hose? Cleaning the bathroom is also always trivial when you have a hose at hand. I do not get why it isn't more popular globally, it's literally in almost every house in my home country of Finland since it is so easy to implement and massively useful. (Also, I just realized I mixed up the name: it's bidet shower and not shower bidet.)
Toilet paper first to remove the excess poop. Then a quick spray of water from the bidet, then soap, wash (yes, with your hand, you wimp) rinse, dry with a dedicated personal towel that gets washed and bleached obsessively often. I've always used soap, and I've never suffered from a dry and cracked butthole. A squeaky clean butthole, yes. That's for number two. Number one gets water only and then towel. Never use soap for number one if you've got the bits that are hiding instead of hanging.
@@sokjeong-ho7033 wtf, it's equivalent to dropping food on fresh bird poo and then picking it up to eat anyway please! At least wash your hands so no one and nothing gets touched by your dirty ass hands!
Ditch that toilet paper nonsense altogether, you wimp, *and let the water remove the poop.* That’s what it’s there for. After all, we _are_ using soap like pros anyway, and 5-10 seconds of water isn’t going to kill your water bill. TP is kept under the sink pretty much only for the weakling degenerates who drop by that still need their blankie. Courage up and make it happen.
As a British person I can confirm that that post was written by a British person, because we as a species exclusively use words such as: ‘noggin’’ and ‘bum’. Noggin’ referring to the head for people not native to Britland or have never come to this chaotic jungle of wacky language and frequent disagreements about how you arrange jam and cream on a scone.
A British person who watches enough American tv to use "y'all". I'm not even from the Southern USA but "y'all" is such good catchall word. Ex: "Y'all motherfuckers need Jesus"
This person is the hero all new bidet users need, and their contributions will continue to be appreciated by each new generation of bidet users who search up "how to use a bidet reddit".
my brain autocorrected to bidget which autocorrected to bridget and i thought this was gonna be about guilty gear i'm not gonna watch more of thos video
You know what will *guarantee* that you are clean down there? Steel wool. For those of you who just audibly yelped at the thought of this, you should definitely be doing a fair bit of bum-time fun time because you have the sensitivity for it.
As an Asian, I just bidet until I’m done and just put on my underwear, handfree, no toilet paper(because you never met any in your whole life, mere legends on the internet)
@@faceless1434 I don't know about you, but the underwear just absorb what little bit of water is sticking. It's like a little towel. If you feel uncomfortable it'll dry off eventually, unless it's extremely humid that day.
Also, toilet paper doesn’t clean you properly Ask anyone who lives in a country with a Muslim shower and they’ll tell you that they have to take a shower every time after they go to the bathroom to not feel DISGUSTING
I would love to join Team Bidet, but good luck finding a flat that features one over here. ("Over here" is Germany, btw.) I guess I have to build my own house or something just because I want a bidet.
I got one off amazon but I cant install it myself. Apparently I would have to unscrew my toilet from the wall for the extension pipe and it's dangerous to do without the water being shut off and having the proper tools. I asked my family about one and they said they didn't want a bidet because they're not uncivilized???
America is a conservative, prude and priggish country that looks down on European culture, especially French, as immoral, hyper-sexual and frivolous and one of the reasons bidets never caught on here is Americans associated them with sex work after soldiers saw them in brothels during WWII. There were other reasons for the lack of bidets, including the small bathroom size and plumbing types in most American homes, but for the most part, the bidet represents everything Americans dislike - a focus on bodily functions & intimate body parts and the French
@@lonestarr1490 You can get a bidet attachment for standard toilets. Since 2020, bidets have become popular here in the US but most bathrooms don't have the space or plumbing needed for a separate one. A quick Google search brings up a ton of info on installation, requirements, most popular/best models lists...etc.
It’s usually attached to the inside of the toilet (here at least) and sprays water at your butt when you’re done pooping to clean it off. They’re in every toilet in most of Africa and SEA (maybe all of Asia idk). I was so confused learning it didn’t exist everywhere.
I love this because bidets are different in Italy. You sit face forward with a faucet in between your bare groin. Then, you use your hands to direct and wipe your area along with gentle purpose made soap.
o O o O o O o ❌
O o O o O o O ✅
In THIS economy?!
@@queenoforeos3057 yes
This is awful jeany why would you do this 😭
Perchance.
o O o O o O o ❌
O o O o O o O ✅
Translate to English
(sometimes I love the machines' humor)
I mean, it IS funny just how much this guy has to say about literal shitting but they clearly have the knowledge and experience to share
They uhh know their shit
Well there it is
I hate you for this, but I'm still giving you a thumbs up for the good punchline, hate with mad respect
r/AngryUpvote
This is my favourite shitpost.
Ba-doom-boom tissshhhhh~
I appreciate an extensive and detailed answer but by god it just keeps going 😭😭
Typical redditor
Don't blame the OP, blame the commenters for replying to his comment with stupid shit like "well I just use my hands to remove the poop from my bum"
@@TrustyGun2technically that sounds better tbh, since you won’t be wasting any toilet papers at all
@@TrustyGun2It's the only way you can be sure that you are completely clean. Of course, washing the hand with soap is a necessity.
Your pfp is that person learning about people using their hands to wipe
Bro has a masters degree in bidet usage 💀
So do I. While everyone was clamoring for TP, I purchased an in-seat bidet toilet lid. You "demote" shower towels to bidet use (floss method) to dry your rectum. Once you've had enough of that, it becomes a "sopping-up" floor towel until the laundry cycle is ready.
The anus acclimates to a higher-pressure environment, so you won't have to deal with leftover feces *ever* if you do it right.
Everybody will know why this comment has so many likes
@@GldnClaw well there's a (part of a) sentence I never thought I'd hear. "The anus acclimates to a higher-pressure environment"
And an associates in enemas
SKULL EMOJIIIIII
I love how reddit just unanimously crowned this person as the Bidet expert cause let's be honest I use one and I didn't even know there were so many nuances to it till this guy pointed it out
I believe all the edits come from his reaction on dumb comments below, so he updated OC as well to prevent stupid ideas spreading.
i dodnt know the O o O o O o O technique until now
@@sanddr.not to be confused with o O o O o O o
@@dolphin1418 yeah because with one you are pushing in with the other you are pushing out
I mean, let's be honest, these are all things that you oughta have figured out for yourself within your first week.
"Just use a Bidet! It's S o O o O o O easy!"
You seem to be confusing stuff.
it's actually "S O o O o O o O"
You’re doing in w r O o O o O o n g!
Here's a better way to put it
Have you ever had a 1 wiper? A bidet makes almost every number 2 a 1 wiper
There that's it
@@Aurelius_unofficial I've never had that problem without a bidet. Maybe just get a good diet instead?
@@aliceiscalling If your stool is so soft that you are always essentially having liquid shits, that isn't normal, if that isn't the case and you're assuming one wipe works, you are really fucking gross
Alternative title: All you'll ever need to know about your bidet in 3 mins
I'm ashamed to admit this, but... it was all information answering questions I've actually had for a long while. 😅
People rarely talk about their habits in the bathroom, so when they finally do they find there is little consensus but some very strong and very specific opinions. Basically everyone that does it slightly different is labelled disgusting, and also everyone does it slightly differently.
However edit #5 is just objective fact, people with college degrees were paid serious money to make sure paper towels hold it together when wet but toilet paper does the opposite.
Edit 5 should be obvious but the number times the people working on city sewage pipes have had to remove the giant solid masses those "flushable" wipes turn into over time, prove that it really needs to be said more often.
"Basically everyone that does it slightly different is labelled disgusting, and also everyone does it slightly differently."
This is so true. Can't even remember how often people called me disgusting on reddit for saying that washing yourself everyday is enough and it doesn't need to be a full shower every day. People get really judgemental about people they don't even know for the tiniest of things.
The people from the stickiest climates get confused why you _wouldn't_ shower all the time, and the rest decide they have to defend their extra amount of showers instead of just leaving things be. Every couple days is just fine for whole showers.
Gods, I remember going to a really humid seaside city. As soon as I stepped outside the hotel, I was _immediately_ sticky all over. Literally instant. It felt so gross. I can understand why those guys shower every day
@@AklyonX While that's fair, at *least* the down below bits need to be cleaned properly every day. And, frankly, it's faster and more convenient to just hop in the shower to do that process rather than trying to use a bowl and wash cloth or some such. Definitely no need to soap and wash cloth every inch of your body every single day, but if you're engaging in any kind of intimacy with your partner it's pretty important to be clean.
The fact they are playing this completely straight is respectable. Yeah, it's weird, but all knowledge is valid and sharing experiences is how we learn- even in regard to pooping.
that's r/NoStupidQuestions for ya
how is it weird? are we not allowed to talk about a thing every single person does almost every single day? come on now
@@lemontonk your allowed too pretty much anything, but going into excruciatingly precise detail on how you clean you butt after pooping is by in large seen as a, ehhh, taboo subject. Just because everyone does it doesn't mean everyone wants to hear about it, even in this context.
@@moderndavinci6599 it was a Reddit post asking about it. Like what
@@lemontonk *CONCEPTUALIZATION* [Easy: Failed] - You grasp at the words this internet stranger has typed but the meaning within them eludes you.
Bidet tip: never buy the bidet that shoots out a sad, slow, desperate stream of water, preferrably, use the bidet that shoots out a strong, hard and straight stream of water and has recoil, completely removes the poop stains, further reducing the use of toilet paper/hands.
Edit: Such inexperienced fellows fret upon mention of “Hands”, While Yes, it may be unsanitary, that’s why you wash your hands after…
Learning the technique of ‘Wipe’ with your hands will be of great use to you, so if ever you do not have toilet paper, or other pieces of cloth at your own disposal, your hands will be there for you, as they always were.
Ever notice why our fingers are so eccentrically shaped to perfectly get every nook and cranny down there? They were made for cleaning, as they always were.
But still, USE TOILET PAPER!! It’s why it exists!
RECOIL?!?! Do I have to screw it to the ground or something???
@@eusopao5926not necessarily bolt it, but you should use some sort of binder between the bidet and floor when installing, same thing that keeps the toilet from moving
@@eusopao5926 To master the art of washing your anus, Such must master the bidet, Recoil is such a mere obstacle to conquer.
I like my bidets to kick when I fire them. That way I know its hitting it's target.
@@eusopao5926 To master the art of washing, One must master the bidet. Recoil is such a mere obstacle to conquer.
What is all this about? I just use the three seashells on the shelf next to the toilet.
Do none of you know how to use the three seashells?
You will probably never have such a good situation to do this Demolition Man ref
Noob, I use the tiles on the bathroom floor
@@MINICUBANT No. No I won't. I'm taking it while I have it.
May you guys enlighten the uncultured ones on the joke?
My head-cannon is that the three seashells are just controls for a bidet.
Legend says he is still adding edits.
I love his proper use of punctuation and the layout is so consistent and clean, as a perfectionist I LOVE IT
Bidets are like air fryers, you don't need them but you do feel more elite whilst using them
I'd argue you need to clean your butthole immediatly after pooping or freshen up your downstairs as needed
Technically like 90% of the things in your house aren't really necessary, but they do help to have a better quality of life.
Once you've experienced having a washed butthole, you can never go back to toilet paper only. You just feel dirty.
Everybody thinks they don't need them until they actually get one.
@@moteroargentino7944 I understand feeling more dirty with just toilet paper, however the friction it provides does a well enough job at cleaning all debris off. Sure it probably won't get rid of the bacteria and whatnot, but a lot of it is beneficial for you anyway so whatever.
@@moteroargentino7944True. In SEA almost every house has a bumgun in its restrooms and I don't get how people feel comfortable using only TP to clean their ass.
Bidet Guilty Gear
the bidet got a whole -town- sewer inside it !
my bathroom is really good at yo-yo tricks wtf
brisket
basket :3
basket
"O o O o O o O, not to be confused with o O o O o O o"
Im literally cackling in a bathroom
with your bidet, presumably?
And this hasn’t even delved into the realm of periods. A bidet is worth it for that alone for us period havers. No more feeling the need to shower when you get home to wash away the dry blood. Glorious.
From the creators of "Womb Holders" and "Bonus Holes"... this summer:
"Period Havers"!
@@themaxterz0169 the hell is “bonus holes”
Period havers? What on earth is a period haver? Is that like a school term? Who do you have next period? I have period 3 as free then Mr Jones. Ah Mr Jones, i hear he has lots of periods. Yes it is true, bag fulls of full-stops, but only a small container of commas. Period haver smh.
@@MisterGames I just thought it was a goofy way to say people who get periods :(
@@MisterGames "What on earth is a period haver?"
A person who... has periods?
non-menopausal women
I love how this is read in the exact tone as the barman from Disco Elysium
that's suprisingly accurate
So true!
Real
I can't unhear this help
Not so fast! You owe me 130 in toilet paper.
Reading this shit from an Italian perspective is surreal. We usually have a bidet (not the spraying surrogate attached to a WC) a dedicated soap (positively more than one to also respect different pHs of genitals) and a personal towel. That's the norm.
Surreale vero??
So you just waddle over and crouch wash?
@@kricku yeah! but you wipe a little first. so it doesnt completely replace TP, its just to make sure you are clean.
@@kricku well yeah but if the waddling upsets you, you can jump screaming "HEY!" Like Edwards or something, if you hit something in the process you can call an "AND ONE!" to an imaginary ref, in the end just whatever incentivizes you to don't go around with a crusty anus and cheesy penis, you know?
@kricku Is normal walking not an option on your home planet? Must be some hella gravity there goddamn
Thank you for providing me with such wisdom on a Saturday afternoon
so true, its like we're on the same planet or something
Nice pfp
"...and maybe hot wheels."
Got ourselves a Matchbox fanboy right here.
Hey, I'm normally all for whimsy but hot wheels just ain't my type of whimsy, gotta go with the grounded option sometimes you know?
What in the workd is a marchbox
youre welcome
i was eating chocolate pudding
It became 2 girls 1 cup now 😂
It's your fault for clicking on a bidet video while eating chocolate
Well that pudding’s gotta go somewhere after being eaten, and this is exactly why a bidet might come in handy
Skill issue
No bud, look, you didn't see anything, you can just eat your pudding and continue scrolling :D
Y’know what, he’s got a point. Like 7 or 8 of them.
im italian and we have a separate bathroom fixture as a bidet (not just a hose attached to your water, although those are usually found in public stalls), its like, a large bowl meant for you to sit on that has a faucet with warm and cool water. we usually sit on it after pooping and wash our bum with both water AND soap (and yes, using hands to clean it all away), and then pat dry with a dedicated towel only for the intimate area.
I've always seen them in rich houses and never understood the reasoning for having a separate bowl for a bidet. Do you just... get up and scooch over while your asshole is filthy?
Sti americani si fanno il bidet con un idropulitrice apparentemente
I am glad to know Europeans (or at least Italians) wash their anus with soap unlike Americans. How could one possibly conceive that you wash your whole body with soap and then *not* soap the part that comes in contact with poop? They're mad.
@@Justgreen89925 ma veramente ahahahah
@Justgreen89925 We don’t have pressure washers in our toilets, but we few Americans who use a bidet connect the bidet toilet attachment to the water lines that fill the toilet tank.
That way we don’t have to bother with another fixture to use alongside the toilet we already have, and we get about the same water pressure as your separate bidet fixture does.
Never did I learn so much from a JeaneyCollects vid. Except maybe for the tungsten one, that one was enlightening
Wishing you a happy bidet
Lol!
“…And maybe Hot Wheels” Oh thank God I was worried I’d have to stop wiping my ass with toy cars.
I was so confused lol
Sometimes the internet tells you things that are so useful you'd never even think to look them up.
I think it was really informative, somebody with a lot of experience and kindness in his heart to share it
(moment of silence)
(deep breath)
*E D I T 8:*
The name’s edit,
*EDIT 9:*
*EDIT 10:* Fucked up making things *bold*.
*EDIT 11:* Fucked up making the word bold, *bold*.
*EDIT 12:* GODDAMNIT
@@Nekuma54 Yeah that bothered me too!
Put the punctuation in between the *boldening asterisks.*
It needs space... *O* o *O*
I'm saving this to my Useful playlist.
The bidets with adjustable stream direction are peeeeeaaakkkk ! Gets RIGHT there ,you feel super clean afterwards 😂😂
It’s called “NoStupidQuestions” for a reason. Answers are taken very seriously in every situation.
Cleaning your teeth is the only time you clean your skeleton.
Edit: can you guys please just shut up with the “teeth aren’t bones”? It’s getting annoying, I’ve already answered the same comment many times, please just stop :c
Okay good to know
Sort of. Because all bones in your body are constantly wet.
speak for yourself
That’s why I clean multiple
@@FleshG8 And that means you're alive
As an Italian, I'm horrified.
It kept getting worse and worse...
They’re using a different kind of bidet that’s attached directly to the toilet. So there’s no two separate appliances, only the toilet.
I don't know whether this guy is a connoisseur of the fine art of using a bidet, or just a plain idiot, but I trust him.
An idiot wouldn't know not to flush literal wet wipes so I trust him.
he sounds good to me
@@MusicComethe also said paper towels don't flush. Which I don't believe
@@devlintaylor9520 The reason you only flush toilet paper is because it is made to break down when it gets wet. Paper towels are made to hold together when they get wet, so they'd be very bad for the plumbing. Those flushable wipes kind of break down, but not as well as toilet paper, so that's why the package says only one per flush.
There is some truth to what he's saying, but I really hope he's the only one on earth exercising their anus to wash itself. On the other hand, you SHOULD use your hands to clean, even if there is poop still on your butt (just clean your hands afterwards), because the water only does some of the job. Last tip, yes you can use toilet paper to check for cleanliness, but please use many layers and if you ARE clean, use a towel to dry off.
Sorry for the long reply, but TL:DR he's kinda right and kinda weird af (especially the anus thing)
I've always wiped first and then washed myself on the bidet, never seen it as a way to use less toilet paper but rather as a method to make extra sure that I'm clean.
I shared this exact view when I was a kid. One place I lived had one, but I don't think I ever used it.
I don't remember exactly when I learnt the idea was to wash literal chunks of poo from your butt. I know it really changed my view on bidets though. Hard not to see them as some sort of shit basin, which is a big change from a kids view of "that funny sink next too the loo".
@@bg3841 to be honest I think it might be cultural differences or even the fact that people don't like talking about it, where I live bidets are a common thing you find in most houses and I believe most people use them the same way I've always did, but occasionally I've heard people make comments hinting that they use it the other way.
Then there's the people that have them in their house but admit to never use it which always confused me a bit, also I'm pretty sure that it's a lot more common for men to use the bidet than it is for women. I remember my dad insisting that he would never live in a place without a bidet while my mom told me she never liked using them.
I dunno, I'm 34 and at this point I'm not gonna change my ways.
Exactly, the dedicated bidet should be used to wash what you couldn't get off with the paper, because 1) if you get up with a dirty bum from the toilet to switch places there's a chance you could leave a trace, and 2) it's not directly connected to the main black water pipe, nor is it engineered to easily wash out big chunks of matter the same way as a toilet, so on a bad day you might make a mess.
The ones that you CAN use right after you finished your business are the ones that you can install on the lid of the toilet itself, so everything goes in the same place. Those are the best in my opinion.
same, it helps with the extra disgusting stuff
@@moteroargentino7944 _Chunks_ of poo?! *_CHUNKS_* of poo?!
I love that this is both funny and genuinely informative. Many thanks, excellent delivery.
As an italian lad, i do this every day
USA is yet to learn.
im italian and had no odea about the O o O o O o O o O technique
scusa ma non dovrebbe essere
carta igienica -> lavi con acqua e sapone -> asciughi con asciugamano apposito?
@@Justgreen89925se il bidet/doccia ha una pressione decente basta il getto d'acqua in realtà, chiaro però che dipende anche dal caso specifico, cioè perdonami la dettagliezza ma se hai due metri quadri di cacarella spruzzata per rimbalzo sulle chiappe forse è meglio usare un po' di carta prima di dover fare il salterello dal cesso al bidet
P.S. comunque non capisco tutta questa fobia che hanno sti qui dell'idea di sporcarti una mano che tanto lavi due secondi dopo sotto lo stesso getto magari pure con lo stesso detergente, cioè in caso contrario vai abbastanza alla cieca, tanto valeva non controllare nemmeno
@@Justgreen89925 Eh appunto ahaha, il sapone!
My shower towels are demoted in a specific order:
Showers (standard usage)
Bum-drying towel (post-bidet usage)
Floor (to sop up my kids' wild bath spray)
a wild ride from start to finish
Usually it doesn't make much difference to me whether I have a bidet or not. But it's really nice to have when I get acidic poops and need to wash that shit off before my ass becomes raw the rest of the day. Toilet paper just rubs the acid in and makes it usually hurt worse.
Christ. Somehow this makes your name make total sense.
That comment is making me go insane...
THERE IS SOAP SPECIFICALLY FOR THAT YOU DINGUS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD USE THAT
Washed butt with body soap for my entire 32 years in the shower, never felt dry or crackly down there.
ANYTHING ELSE THAN TRUE MILD SOAP IS A LITERAL RIP OFF.
@@CrizzyEyessame, I use bidet and use body soap and rinse my butt with bidet again and then wipe it with towel or toilet paper
If O o O is about clenching and uncle ching does that mean that OwO is about biti...
You know what, better not to continue that train of thought
uncle ching from china?
what class do you think uncle ching mains in Titanfall 2
best comment here
uncle ching
"you don't fuck with chin"
2:18 I've been waiting for the extremely white edit 6
You know it wouldn't be this confusing and complex if they just got a Chia seed toilet seat so the bugs take care of everything
I misread the title as "Biden tips" and thought it was gonna be a video about tips on how to operate your own Joe Biden
As a prospective future bidet user I found this post very informative and helpful.
This 1:25 was my favorite part and also “No one wants a dry and crackly anus” 😂
This is solid advice! I took my first trip outside of the US last year and knew that there would be a bidet in the bathroom of my hotel room. So I did some research and found a lot of the same stuff this person is saying.
But naturally, you never know till you try it. I liked it and ought an attachment for my toilet here when I returned. It still took a lot of trial and error to figure out what process made me feel the most clean while reducing toilet paper use and also didn't leave me with wet undies
We got a fucking toilologist here
I have been wanting a bidet and better wipe experience and had so many questions about the bidet. Not only did I manifest the answers but it came thru this video and channel. Magic is all around me.
Desperately need to know what replies prompted each individual edit
If you're gonna clean your hands with soap and water after going to the toilet, you should do the same for the direct area of contact if you ask me LMAO
This post needs to be in every instructions manual to customer bought bidets
"...and maybe Hot Wheels"
My favorite metaphor to illustrate the importance of water in bathroom hygiene:
"Imagine a seagull shat on your hand. Would you just wipe it with a tissue and call it clean?"
This is, both ironically and unironically, an excellent video to send to someone if they've never heard of reddit and curious what it is.
Here to add more: reusable cloth TP reduces the use of paper TP even more. It's soft, you get a fresh one every time, and they have cute designs. PS there's sanitizer laundry soap to keep it hospital clean. 😉
This is what the internet is for, shame free questions.
I actively use my free hand to wash my hole area. That way i ensure the cleanliness of my hole and prevents future itch. You just need to make sure the spray wasn't too strong so it won't enter the hole because that water could breed other bacteria you don't want inside
Why are you so damn unhygienic
I love how you pronounced the Os.
That felt like an eternity... Atleast now I know that now
Flex Uranus ✨🔵
Sounds like a fucking Name and a Surname.
Just letting it flow is such a waste of water 😭😭
nowhere as bad as the amount of paper that a person uses for toilet paper every day.
i just know every viewer did O o O o O o O while watching this
Just use a shower bidet. More control on pressure and angle, and very convenient for things like bathroom/toilet cleaning due to extended range and versatility. Also, a very compact installation since it is essentially just a small hose or shower head attached to water pipe and hung up somewhere.
Yea, and you can scrape off any extra crumbs from your anus with the head of the bidet. No need to use hands or paper.
I don’t understand this. Do you use it while you are still sitting on the toilet? I would rather not mix toilet features with shower features.
@@Ravie3 Yeah, it's basically just a handheld bidet, and it's not really a shower head, just kinda looks like one shrunk down (more like a garden hose to be honest).
It's very convenient and works as sort of an add-on to the toilet or sink that you can pull wherever you need to spray water. It may seem weird if you are not used to it, but it's basically as if you are wiping with paper-just with a handheld water stream. I literally cannot go back from using it, and a regular bidet feels baffling in comparison: why do you need a whole different basin for cleaning your backside, when you can pull the water to you with a compact hose?
Cleaning the bathroom is also always trivial when you have a hose at hand. I do not get why it isn't more popular globally, it's literally in almost every house in my home country of Finland since it is so easy to implement and massively useful.
(Also, I just realized I mixed up the name: it's bidet shower and not shower bidet.)
Toilet paper first to remove the excess poop. Then a quick spray of water from the bidet, then soap, wash (yes, with your hand, you wimp) rinse, dry with a dedicated personal towel that gets washed and bleached obsessively often.
I've always used soap, and I've never suffered from a dry and cracked butthole. A squeaky clean butthole, yes.
That's for number two. Number one gets water only and then towel. Never use soap for number one if you've got the bits that are hiding instead of hanging.
💀💀💀
i do not wipe after poo , nor do i wash my hand
@@sokjeong-ho7033 wtf, it's equivalent to dropping food on fresh bird poo and then picking it up to eat anyway
please! At least wash your hands so no one and nothing gets touched by your dirty ass hands!
Ditch that toilet paper nonsense altogether, you wimp, *and let the water remove the poop.* That’s what it’s there for. After all, we _are_ using soap like pros anyway, and 5-10 seconds of water isn’t going to kill your water bill.
TP is kept under the sink pretty much only for the weakling degenerates who drop by that still need their blankie.
Courage up and make it happen.
I've heard soap is not kind even for number 2. Use a soap free cleanser if you must.
as an American, this has officially cleared up any and all confusion I had about the bidet. I’ve also gained knowledge I did not really need but hey
As a British person I can confirm that that post was written by a British person, because we as a species exclusively use words such as: ‘noggin’’ and ‘bum’. Noggin’ referring to the head for people not native to Britland or have never come to this chaotic jungle of wacky language and frequent disagreements about how you arrange jam and cream on a scone.
A British person who watches enough American tv to use "y'all". I'm not even from the Southern USA but "y'all" is such good catchall word. Ex: "Y'all motherfuckers need Jesus"
Pretty sure everyone knows that’s a dialectal difference?
This person is the hero all new bidet users need, and their contributions will continue to be appreciated by each new generation of bidet users who search up "how to use a bidet reddit".
my brain autocorrected to bidget which autocorrected to bridget and i thought this was gonna be about guilty gear
i'm not gonna watch more of thos video
I thought it was biden
There is no escape
Guilty Gear brainrot too strong
Bridget's a bidet
𝓓𝓪𝓷𝓭𝔂
@@weswolever7477 Imagine these two interacting:
A bot with a questionable profile picture stole your comment and got 108 likes.
@@unsightedmetal6857 THEY EVEN HAVE A FORMATTING ERROR FROM THE BOT COPYING MY MESSAGE I HATE THEM SO MUCH >:(
As someone who use bidets my whole life, I can’t imagine myself living in a country without it.
You know what will *guarantee* that you are clean down there? Steel wool. For those of you who just audibly yelped at the thought of this, you should definitely be doing a fair bit of bum-time fun time because you have the sensitivity for it.
Steel wool? lmao Fluoroantimonic acid, you weakling, or you aren’t even trying.
genuinely appreciate this person
I didn't truly process the fact this is a three minute Jeaney Collects video until it had finished.
Ok, but his punctuation is stunning!! 🤩 🏆
As an Asian, I just bidet until I’m done and just put on my underwear, handfree, no toilet paper(because you never met any in your whole life, mere legends on the internet)
I was curious how countries that just use a bidet/hose dry off? I can only assume it doesn't cause problems or isn't uncomfortable being wet
@@faceless1434 yeah, it doesn’t bother me one bit, I can only assume the same goes for others
I guess you don't mind a wet bum when it's 40°C outside
@@faceless1434 I don't know about you, but the underwear just absorb what little bit of water is sticking. It's like a little towel. If you feel uncomfortable it'll dry off eventually, unless it's extremely humid that day.
@@hanifarroisimukhlis5989 I personally just sit still for a few seconds. It's good enough.
I genuinely think we’ve just found the wisest person on earth that still contains some level of normality.
Also, toilet paper doesn’t clean you properly
Ask anyone who lives in a country with a Muslim shower and they’ll tell you that they have to take a shower every time after they go to the bathroom to not feel DISGUSTING
Wtf is a Muslim shower
A Muslim shower is different from a normal shower?
I didn't know what a muslim shower was. I searched it up. I thought it was common to have one??
@@Pi4ever I guess I have a muslim shower then. We call it bidet.
@@GamingNationShm We don't call it bidet, even when the latter isn't very common in my country. The closest translation I can find is ‘hose’.
“Just got a bday”
Great for flushing out corn. Saves on floss.
Anus flossing. Didn’t know that was a thing. TIL
Dudes going to answer every question you never wanted to ask.
It is still alarming to me that Americans don't use bidet. Some even claimed it is gay to use bidet. I'm speechless.
I would love to join Team Bidet, but good luck finding a flat that features one over here. ("Over here" is Germany, btw.) I guess I have to build my own house or something just because I want a bidet.
I got one off amazon but I cant install it myself. Apparently I would have to unscrew my toilet from the wall for the extension pipe and it's dangerous to do without the water being shut off and having the proper tools. I asked my family about one and they said they didn't want a bidet because they're not uncivilized???
America is a conservative, prude and priggish country that looks down on European culture, especially French, as immoral, hyper-sexual and frivolous and one of the reasons bidets never caught on here is Americans associated them with sex work after soldiers saw them in brothels during WWII. There were other reasons for the lack of bidets, including the small bathroom size and plumbing types in most American homes, but for the most part, the bidet represents everything Americans dislike - a focus on bodily functions & intimate body parts and the French
I’m American and I use one
@@lonestarr1490 You can get a bidet attachment for standard toilets. Since 2020, bidets have become popular here in the US but most bathrooms don't have the space or plumbing needed for a separate one. A quick Google search brings up a ton of info on installation, requirements, most popular/best models lists...etc.
Oh god when the guy hit OP with the “o O o O o O” I knew this was a gem
o O o O o O o
These edits are borderline conversations with specific comments 😭💀
This is crazy, bidet is the cleaner than toilet paper
Only those who don’t use bidets don’t know this. Poor sods.
things heating up in the bidet fandom
Uh…do I want to know what a bidet is
Fancy toilet
It’s usually attached to the inside of the toilet (here at least) and sprays water at your butt when you’re done pooping to clean it off. They’re in every toilet in most of Africa and SEA (maybe all of Asia idk). I was so confused learning it didn’t exist everywhere.
It's basically a tap you install in your toilet that will spray water on your poophole to clean it
@@Ksescel DON'T SHIT IN A BIDET
@@-HamzaThe story I heard is that bidets never caught on in the US because they were associated with bordellos.
If only teachers and professors gave such detailed answers in school
bidet tip: return it
Nah just give the toilet paper to the weaklings that still insist on using it, or throw it out. No point in going through the hassle to return paper.
I was having dinner and let it autoplay, I have lost all sense of taste as in instinctive precaution but it's too entertaining to pause.
16 secs ago?? Damn I'm early
Cool
@@robo5409thanks
I love this because bidets are different in Italy. You sit face forward with a faucet in between your bare groin. Then, you use your hands to direct and wipe your area along with gentle purpose made soap.
This is more detail than I ever thought I needed to know, thanks!
This is the ultimate guide to bidets
I got to edit 6 and decided that's enough internet for today
They way it just keeps going lmaoo
Bro just wanted to use every synonym for ‘Butt’ in under 5 minutes.