MSSP - Bedtime Stories: The History Of Circumcision
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- Опубліковано 26 вер 2024
- From Matt and Shane's secret podcast ep 75 with Adam Zeldis
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My circ looked like the scene in Spiderman 2 where the surgeons try to remove Doc Ocks metal arms
💀
Dang it peepop you spooky joker
I got circumcised at an age where I fully remember the anxiety of the doctor coming to our house the the scalpel cutting my skin, you literally feel it cutting in then you black out and then before u know it I’m playing with my trucks with my little pee pee out… also this was in Iraq
@@osamahashoor2548 I've heard this almost word for word twice this week. Is it common in the middle East?
@@thegarge7476 relative to the rest of the Middle East my parents are progressive (in the logical sense not this bastardized new meaning) all my siblings had it when the where infants cause were like Jews about that shit, but I was an exception for some reason, also was the second kid, which like fuck u mom and dad, but I cannot speak for saudis and Taliban types, there’s some weird fuckers
“Doing drugs makes you smarter.”
“THEYRE CIRCUMCISING BABY WHALES!?”
This is the shaman everybody
He’s so fuggin retarded I love him
He's not very bright but drugs probably can make you smarter in a roundabout way. If that's what it takes for mental stimulation anyway. Some people are too depressed and anxious to be casually amazed. Goddamn lol
And Shane is trying so hard to seem like this whole conversation isn't weird as hell. It's Freudian mumbo jumbo.
@@CJM-rg5rt I like more modern and refined medical mumbo jumbo where if you have a feeling they'll go ahead and remove the entire penis for you. I'm so glad we live in a time where we have all the answers and question nothing
@@CJM-rg5rtok p po pop oki ok pop57o7😅77 on o phonograph kjo
This one's a deep cut
😂😂😢😢
Director’s cut
The razors edge
Tip of the cap
Taking heads
Shamans in ancient times would apply dong wax to promote healing and add thickness to a circed bird
The J's have a guy that applies good neck to the dong to promote healing.
So the Js do that and control the media at the same time? Good time management.
Heard they also use the power of the sun to cure ringworm
@@SuspiciousGanymedeWith simultaneous wine mouthwash
I still apply wax to thicken my bird frrom time to time
Shane is the quickest guy ever. These comedians take years to write jokes and he just murders all day
you don't experience witt often, huh 😂
@@Taskforce1 yeah really, just work around and crew of guys in the labor world. Construction, Lawn Care, Pool Care , HVAC, Ive been around it all and the majority of us are crackin jokes every conversation without skipping a beat or ruining the flow. Shane's funny no doubt but his humor is on par for what I'm around all day. Now what separates Shane from Us is the skill to form and write actual jokes and go on stage and putting together 30 mins to an Hour of skilled joke writing where it all weaves in and out without really skipping a beat.
@@antonlifer4449 truest thing I’ve ever read
@@Taskforce1 If I didn't experience wit often how would I know to appreciate it? Shane is impressively quick witted whoever you are. Maybe alot of what he says is going over your head bud. Judging by your simple comment followed by your laughing emoji I'd assume you spend most your time at the kiddy table.
@@antonlifer4449 a lot of it is also in the restraint to filter out the bad jokes and only letting out the good ones
Not gonna lie boys, my circumcision messed my PP up. Got a huge scar on that bad boy now that makes it lean super far over and the scar pops out. Thanks for listening 🙏🏻
Pics or it didn’t happen
I feel like more guys need to know chicks don't care as long as there's no herpe bumps, you're good!
I feel like more guys need to know chicks don't care as long as there's no herpe bumps, you're good!
same, my circ turned my dick into three different colors. tan shaft, then 2 inches of white below the head, pink head. I call it "neopolitan" then I cry
Haha mine didn’t my wiener is nicely cut has a nice trim
Still rocking my wizard sleeve💯
Proudly.
You should Mohawk it.
Thanks, mom and dad!
Hell yeah dude
One time I saw by Canadian friends, and it scared me.
Is his dick chopped off? Is my dick huge? Either way I’m doing better than him. Little did I know I was chopped
Listening to the breakdown of the circumsision video was like waking up in the middle of the night one night when you're 40 covered in sweat because you just remembered the time you were molested that you had repressed since childhood
How on earth is it like that?
@@therainman7777the feeling of
“Oh god, that happened to me…”
Only legends get it
@lindboknifetool9546 I heard Shane has a micropenis thats uncircumcised
@@lindboknifeandtooland then push it down further and hope it stays down until you croak
It's quite natural to be triggered by the memories of being mutilated
11:50 “he’s just sitting there, his balls are like a head of cauliflower” Matt is truly one of a kind
I’m against circumcising. I think the biggest problem with changing people’s attitudes is that if they’ve already done that to their son(s), it’s really hard to convince them that they did something wrong. No one likes to admit they made a mistake especially if it involves their infant child.
This. No one wants to admit that they done something absolutely horrific to their kid.
Nor do they want to admit it was done to them
Imagine cutting 15 square inches off your sons dick because you’re a pussy who can’t admit they got cucked by the medical industry
Hard agree brother, it's a disgusting practice
My dad still won't say sorry
"They circumcise baby whales!?" 😰
-Matt
I read this comment with just enough time to think to myself, I wonder how they get there…before hearing just this. Made me laugh so hard i cried
Easily one of the funniest podcast moments 😂
Hearing that reinforced my love of Matt
The bolt cutters are for Superman's kid 😂
Another one I loved was on o and a with a retired male pornstar. They were all reviewing homemade stuff and one of the boys said "you're not reacting to the BJ at all. Like Superman getting blown."
Matt was on a roll in this one 😂
thank you Peepop once again, bedtime stories with the dawgz are my fav
imma go thank my parents for saving me real quick
Shane, also in the Philippines, it’s not right away it’s actually at like 13 or something like that. It’s insane
Maybe it’s safer that way, by that time the bird and it’s hood should be separated enough. Still wouldn’t want to do it though. Let the dongs be
@@Joppuman They stretch it out onto a tree stump and whack that shit off. Put some chewed guava leaf on that shit and kick it.
Korea and the Middle East also do it later in adolescence. Those males seem to have more allegiance to it because they're involved in the decision, but it's still sexual assault of a minor. A 14-year-old can't consent, especially when getting restrained on a table by family members.
I have a Filipino friend that’s from the Philippines and he said he didn’t get it until he was 13. He also got a botched thyroid surgery there that fucked up his growth.
@@TurdFerguson884 Nope. Him being filipino fucked up his growth
Had my oldest cut as a baby and it was the most horrific thing Iv been a part of, couldn’t do it to his younger brother.
dauymn
You should feel ashamed tbh mutilating your child because...? You never thought about it before you decided to cut your child's penis?
That might actually be one of the reasons my dad did that also. Older brother is cut and I am un-cut. And as a 32 year old, I am still forever grateful to my dad for not getting me cut
Talk about being envious of your siblings...
@@Xphyzeek With my understanding, I'd straight up kms if my younger brother got to escape the snip
As soon as they set separate from the head, I'm out 😂. Hell no bro wtf did my parents do to me!
!!!
Peepop coming through when I needed him most. Legendary DAWG.
This is trippy because last night i got pretty high on the way home from work and had a deep deep thought about this shit. Maybe it’s because it was high but when i thought about it i did feel pretty violated and angry i didnt get a choice.
You’ll get over it lol. Don’t make yourself a victim
ua-cam.com/video/XxtELE4E2to/v-deo.html
Dude, trust me you don't want the choice. My parents didn't have me cut when I was a baby. When I was 18 I started having problems with it. My foreskin never came all the way back, and it hurt like hell to have sex. Needless to say... you do not want that shit done while you're an adult, and can remember the pain. They knock you out during the surgery, but the healing process is fucking hell😂
@@MilesWilliams88 Your donger genes being broken doesn’t mean we should preemptively cut all babies just in case.
@@MilesWilliams88 So cut every baby and sell the parts to cosmetic companies instead.
I had two buddies in highschool that were brothers, and their father was a urologist. The older one was cut and the younger uncut. Something changed his mind.
Tell us how you became acquainted with both of their penises.
yeah, his wallet
@@dre009Nope, they still sucker poor people with that shit, my family was borderline penniless when it happened and that fucking quack still talked my mom and dad into it.
How did you know lol
needed more flavour
My hardcore babtist granny did not circumsize my dad so Jesus would recognise him 😮
Nice
Hmm... Everything checks out.. wait, what's this? This isn't the penis I gave him. Who is this? What's happening?
This just made me picture Saint Peter at the pearly gates with a magnifying glass making dudes drop trou for the ultimate and final penis inspection day
A cheap circumcision is called a rip off
😂
Finally went to some open mics. Been killing with a bit about how if Oscar the Grouch were real Chinese people would eat him
Barney too.
Yo that’s a sick premise, keep it up dawg
Holy fucking shit 😂
@@Trundle_TheGreat Thank you man, I've been enjoying it. Wrote jokes for legit 4-5 years before I tried an open mic this year.
If any of you are on the fence of trying an open mic, go to a couple as an audience member, and it might give you the confidence.
@TraGiiXzaze that is really awesome man. I hope you fucking kill it hard!!! What general city are you doing open mic in? (Just wondering) this kinda inspired me too go see open mics
“Just the wails will get ya…”
“They circumcise baby whales?!”
😂😂😂
My foreskin survived 🎉
@Barnaby Jones someone mad they can’t feel pleasure
Damn, I wonder how it feels to have parents not molest you. I'm sure it helped with trusting them later on.
Lol this is too good
It's weird how American men are circumcised. In the UK it's simply not done, same in all other western countries. America is the only western country that practises circumcision.
It's a racket. Another bill to add to the childbirth and scan costs....
Yeah the idea that you’re basically molested as an infant to get a cosmetic surgery you didn’t even want makes sick and my kid won’t be Circumcised like me.
Weirdest thing is a lot of mothers are super ok with it with NO Evidence of this "procedure" doing anything good at all. This is going to be considered barbaric in 15-20 years
@@griffin.xxxxxx yep. Ive only had a daughter but if I ever have a son, the circumcision line in my family will end with me.
Not the only western country if you count Israel (basically Europeans), Korea (basically America of the Far East), and the Phillipines (another America of the Far East). Australia, Canada, and South Africa also still have galling rates. It is almost 0% in a sane society where the outliers are tried in court for sexual assault and malpractice.
2:33 "if you drive down the roads in Africa" that's such an American thing to say lmaooooo
I’ve convinced 2 of my friends not to do this to there sons. It’s legal torture that was done to slaves to stop reproduction and to show them they are lesser. This practice needs to be completely striked from the social zeitgeist. The only argument for it with any merit, is the idea that it makes your dick easier to be kept clean. Yet this idea treats men as if they don’t have the common since to pull back the skin and wash when bathing, so its “merit” is minuscule. It’s cosmetic a best and child mutilation at worst. Just because that choice was taken from you as a child and you don’t want to come to terms with it. Doesn’t mean you need to continue the horrific and torturous practice on your own children.
If cutting things off to keep them clean made any sense then we'd live in stainless steel boxes with no furniture, fingernails, or eyelids.
Wow, no I actually just have a circumcised dick and it's fine and it doesn't look weird. You and this guy clearly must have a weird dick, which is a bummer but it's not the case for everyone.
Chill bro.
Well current procedure’s definitely do not stop men from reproducing, as 81% of aged 14-50 males in the US are cut. Foreskin can cause problems, such as a higher risk of UTI and cancer. Many teen boys have to get circumcised later in life because foreskin can block the urethra if it’s too long, even while erect.
@@lileighth Sounds like you're coming to grips with your trauma. It's okay, we were all mutilated. Just don't let anyone do it to your boys.
This one's super personal to me.
Same😂 Had that shit done when I was 18 unfortunately.
@@MilesWilliams88 wtf why??
@@asap5629 My dad talked my mom out of it when I was a baby. He wasn't when he was a baby. I started having problems from it when I was a teen. My foreskin never went back, and it started to hurt when I had sex. I had to either get it done, or feel pain during sex for the rest of my life.
@@MilesWilliams88 roblox sound: 𝙤𝙤𝙛
@@asap5629 Yeah, I don't recommend it.
Believe it or not all that pain at birth can cause mental issues like adhd, lower pain threshold and many other things. If you think about it your flooding the brain with an extreme amount of negative emotions and chemicals at birth, the very first moments you spend on this planet your brain chemistry is immediately altered by the most pain you’ll ever feel. Even if you don’t consciously remember it your body still has physical systems that react the same as if you do remember it. All that pain and negative experience before the brain even starts developing has a terrible effect
Do you have any studies that back that first sentence up?
@@ALswampfoxeven if there is no science paper written by fauci to back it up, use common fucking sense moron
@@ALswampfox Multiple studies have been done
The point of UA-cam replies is to create curiosity, go look it up yourself if you want to know
@@lngbenn nah, dude made a claim
@@ALswampfox Which you have the ability to look into
UA-cam tends to not allow links in the comments anyways
If you are curious, literally do something called "search it"
Bill Gates knows exactly what he's doing...
Finally the intactivist content i've been searching for
Just watched a video of a baby getting his hog chopped up. What a glorious Friday night! Have a good weekend dawgs
The thumbnail with the bolt cutters made me laugh before i even clicked
Anyone who ever tries to take a sharp implement to my child's genitals better know kung fu.
I had to have it done when I was 18 because my dad thought the same way when I was a baby😂 I can tell you it's better to get it over with when they're a baby, and not when they're an adult. The recovery was absolute hell. I had problems with mine though. I think that's pretty rare.
@@MilesWilliams88 More people have botched circumcisions than people have issues with their foreskin. Don’t cut your kids, it’s moronic.
@@MilesWilliams88 I dunno man, I don't want my kid's first memories to include the most painful thing imaginable done to you
@@TozWozEar That's the point though. If they're a baby, they won't remember it.
@@MilesWilliams88 and they can't demand their foreskin back
The scene with Hank Azaria in yr one explaining circumcision was classic
All-time great thumbnail right here
Google metzitzah b'peh 🤢
You sayin there’s something wrong wit nibblin on baby teenis?
@@philthh Not for gods chosen...
So basically because I was circumcised.... that probably explains why my jerk off prep looks like the final fight in kickboxer
I recently found magnum extacy rubbers. The tip is loose so it moves around and is a night and day difference
These thumbnails are magical
Mine is so big, it has a 50 yard line, so big that even in the summer it still has snow on top...
I used to work in a pediatric clinic and had to help with a couple circumcisions. It's pretty fucking horrifying.
Tom Segura would hate this conversation. Dude is all about cutting baby meat.
Cutting edge convo here
I still have my turtleneck. They call me the anteater.
The true detective reference 😂
Protect our Parks? More like, Protect our Parts
Pretty sure this was gonna be longer but they cut it shorter
You know some Moyl is slinging keychains and hair scrunchies at 20% off
Rip G Baby! Such a random shout out but Hardball was such a good movie and one of the very few movies that made me cry
Shane’s on to something with the circ’d -> school shooter correlation
I bet you had fun with this photo edit 😉
I got a 150lb Alaskan malamute, bro has a HOG on him. It’s shockingly large, he knows it too
Ew dude
“Baby’s can get rock hard” is a sentence I never needed to hear uttered…. EVER 😅😅😅😅😅
I'm Australian and they took it from me without asking when I was a baby.
Don't know where it is right now but it might turn up. Stranger things have happened.
Maby some old nurse has a collection she chews on to relax while watching NCIS.
don't quit your day job bro
Typical not funny aussy
@@OhHeBustinIt was actually pretty funny
Your local rabbi may have it in his collection
The foreskin of a newborn baby (in other countries at least) is used for skin cream that runs for 10's of thousands of dollars a bottle. Sandra Bullock and Ellen talked about it openly on her show. Of course, the unwilling donors don't see a dime.
Also not how a circumcision is done. This dude just basically showed him a BME pain Olympics on a baby
This guys page is giving me life
9:41 "They circumcise baby whales?" 😂
Eric Clopper Sex & Circumcision covers this very well. It's disgusting and needs to be rooted out.
Anteater detected
@@whisperingeye4968 loud and proud, brother
@@whisperingeye4968bro u got a mutilated dick and ur tryina make fun of some pure dicked dude? 😂😂😂 pathetic
@@whisperingeye4968 Cut cope:
So weird to me that this is so popular in America. I’m Australian I don’t know anyone who’s circumcised without it being for medical reasons
The fact that there's medical reasons that require it at all is good enough reason to keep doing it. My friend had to get circumcised at 13. What a horribly traumatic situation.
@@Ozhull Well done ignoring that nearly the entire population of Australia has zero urological problems. Meanwhile dozens of Americans die from complications every year, thousands just get mangled without dying, and none of them will ever know what sex actually feels like because they lost their ability to grow a complete nervous system on day one.
@@OzhullThat's like saying we should do pre-emptive appendectomies because people might have their appendix burst later in life
@@VIEWITIScrazy how statistically speaking many Australians have this procedure done 😂. No wonder the Aus population is so low one being their reproductive systems fcking suck
@@Ozhullbotched Circumcisions happen
What an enlightening cast
They say that you lose sensitivity n stuff so I’m envious. Cuz as a cut dude it already feels dope lol so y’all must go crazyyyy lol
Lol why do only uncircumcised dudes care so much about circumcision? Haha
Probably has something to do with an aversion to mixing knives and genitals...
@@bigkingspeakerdwestemperor5068 but if they weren't circumcised, why do they care so much? It didn't happen to them lol dudes who got the snip could care less haha
@@Danno_87 I’m circumcised and I think it’s wrong. I feel like circumcised guys get super defensive about this discussion because nobody wants to admit something wrong was done to them. At least that’s what I was like before I allowed myself to really think about it.
@@dnarbredlih well clearly you're defensive of it lol.
@@Danno_87 I don't think you get what being defensive means man. Hope you get things figured out 👍
Automatic click when I read the tittle of this😭😭😭😭
Shane loves Boondock Saints
No more circumcisions
I will not sit here and be subjected to this anteater propaganda.
About 4 or 5 years ago my medium sized dog was sitting in the backseat with my son who was in his car seat and Gunner’s (dog) dick popped out and Easton (son) said, “ew, Gunner put your lipstick away!”
Red rocket 🚀
Dog crayon.
I had a botched circumcision. Nothing impacting, but when the doctor stitched it up there was a crevice(idk) that filled with dead cells over the years. This was resolved when I was like 8. Needless to say my son is not circumcised
Found a CLIP I haven't listened to. Love ya pops
Class action lawsuit incoming
Matt has skin in the game on this one
This was some serious dong history and science.
Mate of mine had to get his done in his late 30’s because it grew over, that’s intense
whoever made that noise at 14:24 😂😂😂😂
The cut of the before/after they watch the video is so loud lmfao
Loving this.
Uncut duck forever.
@@kelseychristianson128
Oh we have a cheese connoisseur present today. How fancy.
Agreed! Uncut dicks are also my preference for my partners. I find cut ones to be very boring.
Word up to the circled bird gang, bruh - fuck the uncuts BUT I AM NOT A JEW
I'm clipped and have yet to regret it. I'll admit I will consider not doing it to my son if i have one though.
Hood gang coming back!!
Dude, people that freak out and go full on sperg over circumcision even though they don’t have children is wild to me.
Also, I would be so pissed if I wasn’t circumcised. Come on now.
As a proud Asperger human, I need to ask you why you'd be pissed if you were'nt circumcised? lol
Lmao I was thinking “whales” too
I got circ rage dawg. So pissed that my parents chopped the birdie.
RIP your foreskin. Stay strong brotha ✊️
If it makes you feel any better Hollywood milfs are rubbing parts of your baby bird on their face.
@@VIEWITISThat's the only poon I get
Clipped wing but your bird will fly again
@@theempirestrikesback inshallah, right into some poosy
When they did my son, it was just a plastic cap and a little rubber band and yeah he was uncomfortable for the first day or two, but after that it took about a week before it fell off and he was just fine
Say that about clit cuts now
"Dr.Ennis comes and outs a needle in your girl bird" - Matt
18:07 I just started crying. Literally. I did not want to do this to my baby! My stupid ex-husband demanded it, and then wouldn’t go to the fucking appointment so I had to! And he was an awful husband yeah, but I will always hate him forever more because of this
Trust me. Your son is grateful. If you think I’m full of it then look up anyone who got an adult circumcision and see what they have to say.
Also your son will not really think about what is not there... and he wont have to deal with constant dick cheese
Not the bolt cutters😂
As an uncircumcised guy, I wish I could hop in this conversation so bad.
its not too late goyim
As a fellow uncut man what we do is we let dudes that are cut know that they’ll never know how good a blow job can actually feel lol. Then we say don’t take that away from your son 😂
What good is bad captain without a cap?
*Actually.... trepanation is the oldest known surgery with evidence of successful procedures dating 7,000 to 10,000 y ago. However circumcision is horrible, archaic and straight up unauthorized genital mutilation of a minor and IMHO perpetrators of this felonious act should have their ears and noses cut off (to prevent ear and nasal infections of course).
Dont cut any little dawgs!!! Leave the baby dawgs alone!!!
Matt: I knew I was missing a little. God that’s all I needed too dude… I knew it … if I could only have a fuckin smidge…
I feel ya Matt
Just what I need rn
I have absolutely…no recollection of getting snipped as a newborn, and I’m not walking around with a permanent hoodie on so…cirq dawgz for life? 🤷♂️
Imagine thinking of your natural body as a lifelong hoodie. Americans are truly fascinating specimens
@humblestumble go wash your nasty little skin flap dude
@@humblestumble497 hell yea dude, we keep our peckers high and tight over here. 🫡
It’s hilarious how often uncircumcised dudes feel the need to tell circumcised dudes how bad they have it. They are trying to convince themselves so hard 😂
@@humblestumble497 you’re an idiot. It’s a Muslim and Jewish thing also and billions of people are circed. It’s not an American thing. This channel is funny but there’s so many dummies
This is one of the funniest things I've ever heard.
I love MSSP but I can’t listen to this shit about how it’s because of Christian Puritanism and not one mentioned of Judaism and it’s influence over this issue.
In America it was kicked off by a Seventh Day Adventist alongside his corn flake cereal and squirting yogurt up his ass. I'm sure the Js have boosted it being doctors and being in Hollywood mocking natural dongers, but they didn't start it.
Shane, the history nut, talked about the revolutionary war on the podcast for less time than he did on circumcision
Can’t trim the curtains but can tailor the sleeve tf🤣🧙🏽♂️🧙🏾
My wife complained bc I didn't want my son to get it. She was scared that he would feel bad for looking different....like we're going to compare dongs.
My dad did the same thing when I was a baby. When I was 18, I had to get it done. My foreskin never came all the way back, and it hurt like hell while having sex. Do your kid a favor, and do that shit while they can't remember it😂 It's fucking brutal when they're an adult.
@@MilesWilliams88 hey man I’ve seen your comments on a couple times here. I don’t have any skin in the game (circumcised, but not opinionated) I have a degree in physiology so unfortunately I have just done more research about dick health then I ever wanted too. While what happened to you is unfortunate, it is extremely rare. Less then 0.1 percent of men have problems with their natural foreskin that circumcision solves (like in your case). However, 1.3 percent of all neonatal deaths each year are caused from circumcision (usually infection). Essentially you are saying, definitely do this more dangerous thing now to prevent issues from something you 99 percent won’t deal with. Humans just wouldn’t have foreskins if we weren’t meant to have them. Doesn’t mean problems won’t arise with them like any other body part but that is the outlier.
@@soxfan182 I say it mostly in jest. You are correct... I don't know the science or statistics behind it. All I can go off is my own experience. You and my dad would of got along, haha.
@@ww3662 People needed them when they were cavemen.
@@soxfan182 Its basically like cutting off your fingers so you'll never have to deal with a hangnail