Honestly, this book ‘Raising Warriors: Preparing Your Children For a Godly Life’ gave me the encouragement I needed to stay strong in raising my kids with Christian values, it’s comforting to know Im not alone on this journey
When I'm on the phone and I know they are secretly listening I talk about how great they are and how they blew me away - how great they help around the house how proud I am of them.
zozishine Such a great technique especially seeing how my daughter ear hustles on a regular basis. Children love to hear you speak well of them in front of others.
Lol.. that is funny! You could really play it up how well they did something and harp on about how great they are! It would be interesting to secretly video their little faces while they were listening to it to see how they react to that talk!
To help my children I modle the behavior I want to see in them. I stay away from put downs and negative frases. I focus on positive. "ok the food is on the floor what should we do?" "I see that your mad, why?" how does that make you feel?" what if it was done to you, how would it make you feel?". I try to guide them to the answer so they have the joy of discovery. if it's a bigger problem like hitting or lieing I try to discover why they felt the need to lie by asking them about it. then ask them for a more positive way to get what they want...manners.
Thank you to you and Mr. umm... (fill in the blank) lol sorry I don't know his name. I‘ll take that in mind. I‘m trying to be the best aunty I possibly can be.
McRae Meyer Questions are powerful approach to helping children to understand their feelings and find think through how to handle conflict. Modeling is key in everything we do with our children, even when we make mistakes.
I am new to teaching, and I am starting to teach kindergarten but I am just 23 years, what I'd like to do is to build an image of prosperity in their minds, and build brain cells by showing them images of greatness, role models and tell them that they can be better than I am
Thanks for the video. Summary for How to raise happy, confident children: 1. Ensure your children have rules. 2. Empower them to make their own decisions. 3. Talk to them in a certain manner.
My children have schedules on the wall that they follow. 7am Breakfast and Praise, 7:45 bathe and brush teeth, 8:00 get dresses for school etc. It has pictures which they helped pick out or draw and color and its always on the wall at their eye level. This has been huge for them! I started my daughter on hers at age4 and now my son has had his since after he turned 4. They like following their schedule, learning how to manage time, read words (its in both English and French) etc. There are morning, afternoon and evening schedules. They get to the point where they know the schedule by heart but we still keep them up and refer to them. For weekends and other non school days, I make it my business to explain to them what plans we have in advance so they are aware BUT sometimes things change and I'm clear about the importance of being willing and able to adapt to changes.
Rashida Davis, Really Nourish Schedules definitely help to establish structure, but more importantly is that you involved your children in the creation of a system that they're apart of. Kudos to you! My children love feeling like they are part of the process and they own it when they are.
I just wanted to tell you that before doing that you should make sure that you are not hearted by what your dad did because if you do you will not love your children cuz you don't know what is parent's love 🚸
Great! I have been listening to you since my daughter was 4. she loves listening to you. I have applied what I learned from you. It's amazing how confident she is about her and she has big goals. thank you for these wonderful teachings. you are an inspiration to my family.
Thank you Brian. I enjoyed your video. My son is now 27, however when he was small I tried to encourage him all the time I tried to praise him and taught him that I believed that he would do well in life ( no matter his race this is important) I always tried to support him. As an only child he was on the computer alot, I tried to discourage this. He didn't like the rules but he did like to make his own decisions. He is now working as a sales manager of a software company. He loves his job. I am now helping out at a saturday school which I too enjoy.
thank you mr Brian I think supporting them plays main role in bonding with them and some times parents laugh on thier children when they are upset its also not the good way of approaching the problem
This is information that ALL parents or future parents need..... People need to learn to be PARENTS and stop being friends to their children.... By bringing a life into this world it is YOUR job to start their teaching and upbringing the correct way OR they will end up paying for it for the rest of their lives.
Thank you, Brian! I encourage my children by commenting how I admire a concrete accomplishment they made, trying not to exaggerate. I also let them decide little things like which haircut they want, which piece of clothing, etc (they're young)
I tell my kiddos to always tell me the truth. I let them know that they are not in trouble and telling me the truth makes it easier to believe them in the future if anything happens!
Thank you Mr. Tracy for such great advise. What i have seen in my child is that he really enjoys painting and sketching. We have gifted him art supplies and he gets to make his own decisions on what he wants to creat or express. I’ve found art to be an incredible way to express himself especially when he is young and life experiences are still so raw and new to him. I also get to join him often and it is a beautiful and peaceful moment to have with the most incredible people in our lives.
Mr. Tracy I only came across your videos today and have listened to about 4 now. Your talks are truly amazing and your soft spoken demeanor is so encouraging and uplifting. Thank you for your effort and biggest of wisdom, I will definitely be picking up your books... I hope one day to shake your hand. God bless!
Im pregnant with my first child right now, Im a psychology student in my last year and all these words of wisdom from this man are true and I intend to follow them !
Can you do a video on how to help children be more assertive (within reason, of course), how to "speak up" louder, and how to find their voice & be more confident in themselves?
Child may not be assertive for many reasons. 1- his views my have been ignored or discounted, 2- he was taught to believe that his input is not important. Reverse this and you will see the change. Start with asking the child questions of importance "Bobby where do you think we should go out to eat tonight as a family? Or "what do you think we should watch for movie night?" Put him in position of leadership incrementally at home.
When I was a child, my was always remain busy with his work, it was my grandfather who nurtured us, but I want to spend good time with my child, I will implement your suggestions. Thank you for invaluable suggestions.
I think parents need to change how they grew up to be able to raise confident children.... I feel like I raise my children exactly the way my parents raised me and I hate it... I wish I can change that... I want to change it... But I don’t know if I will be able to 😔 Being a single parent is so hard and wanting confident, healthy, happy children is even harder. Every time I try to change and raise them different I fail and go back to the way I was raised. Ugh frustrating. I will try again From now on with your great tips and see how it goes. Hope I don’t fail again. Wish me luck
Happy to hear this. I will take it to heart. We need to shine more positivity into our children's lives. Sometimes listening to parents sounds more like war stories - managing the foe! I trust your kids also had a wonderful mother.
Hi Brian... excellent as always! I along with my fiancee are now raising her 5 year old grandson.. His parent have issues drugs and the like, employment etc. we had to take custody to provide for him a safe and emotionally stable environment. 4 years of his life was with his parents ... basically as vagabonds... the street life. So we have a lot of work to do and your suggestions from your programs has been a God-send. Reminding us that positive communications, rituals and structure make a real difference. Again...its work and sometimes a challenge because of the ways he was living his life... but we will win together. Thanks so much for all you've done for me in my life... Mike Husson, Fl
A great book I read on parenting is Bringing Up Bebe by Pamela Druckerman. Amazing! I think giving your kids independence is so important. It makes me cringe watching parents run after their children repeating "don't do this, don't do that, be careful!". Let the kids play on their own and let them make mistakes and get a scratch! That's how they learn!
I don't have children now but I think that it's so important that we understand the decisions we make when raising them. Thanks Brian for the wonderful video! (:
That's awesome, great message to build the life of our children. As a parent will always cherish them by encouraging them doing the right things. And also by admonishing them through the 3 steps of self confidence. Thanks a lot
I am very impressed by the video. We always try to encourage our son for new learning, but sometime criticize, which wont do any more. Thanks for this information.
Piyush Katariya I think every parent should meditate multiple times a day. even if it's only 5 or 10 minutes, and during this meditation think about your children what they're doing how you feel about it and how you can make them feel better about themselves with the things that they're doing or interest they have. if your child is doing something you're not sure about or don't know how to react. then don't say anything negative and take a few moments alone to think about the best way to communicate to your child positively.
Piyush Katariya the fact that you're watching videos like this. Makes me feel like you must be a good parent. Because the bad ones would never take the time to watch this video. instead they would be watching something for their own personal interest.
Program for Adolescents from 12 to 18 years old, which provides all the tools that young people need in this stage of so many changes. go.hotmart.com/N41619965R
I had a mother who never criticised me and told me how great and perfect I am. Turns out now I'm extremely critical of others who aren't so perfect and I want to be perfect all the time. Not being critical and only focusing on the good can create a self entitled and narcissistic adult. So be careful!
Like since he could talk Ive told him "can't" is a cuss word therefore he never says the word cant and neither does my wife and I. I get him to say the words 'Im getting better and better' instead of 'try'.
Thank you Brian, this should come handy. I have tried to handle my boy child with discipline but it is certainly not working out,I elicit the exact opposite of what I set out to achieve, I will surely do things differently with this video and would appreciate any further assistance in this regard.
I enjoyed this video. one thing that i didn't know before and i particularly learnt from this video was ( children subconsciously need guidance and rules in order to build more confidence.
Wise talk! My son is 7 years old, I’m a guilty parent who constantly yells at him for the smallest thing. Also I always tell him how great he is and that I love him no matter what, Reminding him that mistakes happened and that the yelling is about the mistake not the person . He has low self esteem , I praise him all the time but he constantly thinks I can do it, or I know I won’t be able to or I’m this or that. And it makes me feel so bad cuz I feel like I’m the cause due to too much yelling.
Racha, my parenting style is not to yell alot, but more to educate. I find it a better investment to spend 10 minutes properly explaining to a kid how they went wrong so it makes sense to them. Explain it to them slowly. Imagine yourself at a new workplace where it's your first day on the job and you are making mistake after mistake. You wouldn't learn and grow if everyone was simply yelling at you. It would be far better of them to explain why a task is done a certain way so you can learn and grow.
Thank you so very much Brian! I have a long story to tell and I don't know if you are able to read and respond or if you have an email but here goes: I raised three wonderful children, had a firm set of rules and also never criticized them. I only built them up, always told them how much I loved them, how smart they were, how they could be anything they wanted to be, taught them about God's love etc. I took them to parks, made sure they all learned how to swim, ran a swim team for 10 years so they could be involved in a physically and emotionally healthy activity with wholesome children. I never compared them and taught them to always love and be close to each other. It never mattered to me what others thought, I never cared about being popular. From the time they were 4, I began drilling it into their heads, that they'd attend college, and graduate school on academic scholarships. They all did. There was nothing that I wouldn't do for them. I was blessed to be a stay at home mother. I truly gave them my all and I truly was maternal and patient. They weren't hit (except when they ran into the street). I never raised my voice to correct them. Punishments were age appropriate (sitting on the landing of the stairs for 2, 3, 5 minutes depending on age) and writing me a letter or poem about what they had done wrong. They were the joy of my life. A huge problem was their dad, he was a domestic abuser, also insisting his mother live with us our entire married life. She could be kind and helpful but she wasn't consistent. She was borderline personality disorder among other things. They both got nasty when they drank. My ex is an alcoholic. His mother demanded constant attention and would do anything to obtain it. She also too great pleasure in teasing infants to the point of making them cry hysterically, she wondered why my cat used to attack her (I found her twirling around and shaking a pillowcase with him as kitten in it, her taking such glee in doing so). And she professes to be a great animal lover. My ex and his mother had a downright sick and twisted relationship. She admitted to breaking up his first marriage and she always professed to be a faithful Catholic. I am regretful for marrying this man and subjecting my precious children to him and his mother but then they wouldn't be here if I didn't. I honestly didn't know anything but abuse. Both of my parents abused me, my father sexually. My father was also a domestic abuser. This was normal to me and I had no self-esteem. My ex was also 10 years older than me, not much of a difference when you're older but a huge difference at 18. I believe in his way, my ex loved them but he criticized them, yelled and screamed at them, put them down, constantly teased them, was incredibly unreasonable in his expectations, tried to force food and activities and decisions on them that they didn't want. Their grandmother went between loving them and hating them. We never knew who she was going to be. My ex and his mother had knock down drag out fights all the time which the children witnessed with fear. My ex yelled and screamed at me for ridiculous things. I may not have stuck up for myself but with my children, I was the mother bear with her cubs (and he actually used to joke about never getting between the mother and her cubs). I was so involved in my children and was so happy to have someone to love and be loved that I tuned out the rest of the world. I wouldn't have ever left because I was scared to death that about what would happen to them alone during visitation with my ex, his mother and his family. At least keeping the family intact, I knew everything and could comfort my children. My ex was also the classic abuser isolating me from my dear friends, leaving me with no support. I may have been a little too strict during their teen years due to the abuse I suffered which led to many devastating things that I faced alone as a teen. It was my fervent wish to not have anything bad happen to them so I continued with my rules but obviously had to add to them when my children became teens. I was very verbal, repetitious and to the point about talking about the repurcussions of sex, smoking, drinking and drugs and about following the crowd, encouraging them to have the courage to dare to be different.I do have a fault of overdoing things and my middle daughter told me much later that I scared her so much about becoming pregnant before being married since I always told her that I had already raised 3 children so I wouldn't raise anymore so that if she or my other daughter found themselves in that position, they'd be shipped off to the Christian home for unwed mothers. She was angry about it but she was never promiscious and never gave birth until she married and I would of, course, never would have sent my children away. You know why Is said that. To save my life, I had to leave my home when my children were 17 1/2 (my son), 19 1/2 and 21 1/2 (my daughters). My ex not only always physically sexually abused me (delighting in inflicting pain and humiliation), the psychological and verbal abuse was unbearable, then he finally began physically abusing me and then he raped me. During our entire marriage, with no shame and in front of others, he also delighted on a regular basis, demonstrating putting me in a headlock and saying how easy it would be to snap it and kill me (a technique he learned in the Marines). I believed he was going to kill me so I left. I was very suicidal at the time but then became very angry. My children weren't blind or stupid. They all agreed with me before I left that he was abusive. Stupidly, I believed him that he would never let me leave unless I had an affair. I understand how very naive that sounds but I'm being truthful. Unless people are truly aware of what goes on in the mind of a woman who has been abused her entire life, they couldn't possibly understand. Always a moral and faithful woman, but being accused and checked up several times a day every single day during our entire marriage, I began a phone affair that did lead to becoming physical.. If anyone doesn't understand about how horrendous it is to be the victim of domestic abuse, let me tell you it's as if an otherwise intelligent woman is totally brainwashed and so terrified and ashamed to tell anyone. When my ex found out, he called both our daughters at college, my father (they've always been best buddies) and our Pastor. Our Pastor had already told me that he knew my ex was abusing me. Our Pastor chastised my ex, not me.the next day after a meeting that my ex demanded. Our Pastor touched on about 10 key points and when we had returned to the car, my ex denied everything our Pastor had just said. I'm not justifying that my affair was right, but I needed a desperate action to get out and I needed someone to show me some love and to show me what a healthy sexual act between a man and woman was. I had no idea. This man mostly held me and talked to me and that validation gave me the courage to leave. My two youngest children have never forgiven me and have always sided with their abusive father. Only my oldest daughter has been loyal to me. By the way, when I divorced their father, my oldest daughter, finally ended the second abusive relationship she had been involved with and nobody has to tell me that divorcing her father completely changed her life. She married a loving man who values her.I don't understand why my other children won't forgive me. I've apologized so many times. I know I'm a sinner and I know I'll always be one, I've made a lot of mistakes and always will because I'm human. They profess to be Christians but isn't forgiveness the entire reason Jesus Christ came down and took the form of a human man to die on the Cross to redeem us for our sins? They still afford their father respect and also his live-in girlfriend who is quite crass, has a filthy loud mouth and who bosses their father around. I am not putting her down.I am just saying we are very different people.. I'm remarried to a wonderful man who is a Christian and who truly loves me. Why do my children give my ex and his girlfriend (and my father who sexually abused me) so much respect and refuse to speak with me or give my husband any respect? I also gave up my alimony and a lot of other money so that they could all go to graduate school and like I said, they all did. My youngest, my son is an attorney. My middle daughter in an RN with an undergrad in biology and chemistry and my oldest daughter is an attorney. This is heartbreaking to me. If anyone reads this, please, I welcome feedback. I didn't mean to marry such an awful man. That was my normal. That's how my parents treated me. I didn't know anything else. I do now. Thank you.Oh, and my ex made his mother leave when I left, he no longer had me as the buffer. I'm glad, at least my son was happy and could have his friends over in peace without her ruining his life.
Wow this is a long sad story.. i dont know how it is to grow up in a sad terrible situation as that. I have lived a very beautiful and caring family where my needs are met well. I cant speak for you and I cannot judge you because we are both coming from different backgrounds but the only thing I can advice is to make yourself a priority. Show value to yourself. Your kids are grown up and they are now completely aware of what they are doing. Let them make their own choices and continue to do the right thing. Even if they misunderstand you, just be confident you know yourself more than anyone else does. Enough of loving other people and compromising yourself. Inorder to truly love our family and others, we need to truly love ourself first. Do things that make you happy, take care of yourself and how you look. Make yourself beautiful for your own happiness, take time to rest and be healthy. How you respect yourself will be the measure of how other people will respect you. Never let anyone hurt and disrespect you by creating boundaries. I hope you will have the best years for the rest of your life. God bless you
This is a very nice video. I already knew I was doing something wrong, but this clarified it. My daughter needs structure. I tell her to make sure she cleans up after playing with anything, but she doesn't. And if I try to enforce it, her response is "Fine. I will never play then." I try to explain everything to her. But sometimes I get the feeling I am too soft. I really don't know how to handle this. Her father sends her to time out. I just don't see that anything is working with her unwillingness to follow commands. If you could offer any advice, I'm all ears. I want to raise a strong, confident and happy child. She seems happy, but I'm not sure about the rest. We praise her all the time and teach her to be proud of herself. If we could teach her to follow instructions without the whining and threats... without the instant negative reponses, it would be wonderful! She is 6 years old already. I feel like I am losing that chance to help her with this. Thank you for your time.
Thanks Sir, This video is so beneficial! Thought i will share with you what i do on a regular basis....I ask my 9 yr old girl to make a list of 5 things she did during the day which makes her feel good/ proud of herself. This way i have evidence to strengthen her self-confidence.
My middle son isn't very confident in school and he's somewhat a perfectionist. He's very consciousness and cautious . He doesn't like to disappoint. My other two are extremely confident and outgoing. Right now, it's a struggle to get him to write independently. He only wants to write if his teacher is right there helping him every step of the way. Any advice? I want to help him, but I'm unsure how.
I don’t have kids yet but I take care of my sisters kids and this is really helping me learn how to be a better parent to them, I pray that I teach them real love and respect for themselves
This is just superb, I have been researching "early childhood studies courses" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Ever heard of - Elilan Coachify Domination - (just google it ) ? Ive heard some awesome things about it and my buddy got amazing results with it.
I will admit I was brought up by my parents and grandparents which I ended up with conflicting messages and upbringing, which I also spent years going through speech / physical therapy plus both of my parents (when we moved away from the grandparents) turned into workaholics although I was bought up to put the needs of others first even though it did dampen my childhood... It is HIGHLY important to show and tell your children you love them, encourage them, and show them by example how to live a good and healthy life.... It took me going on a family vacation as a youth driving out East to find out that my dad has a temper and is / was racist and after hearing that I vowed to be NOTHING like my father. Just because my parents had friends who 'tried" an MLM and they also tried their own business they had told me that I was not able to do it (this was in 2005 and I am still working on getting rid of that message in my mind).
I'm sorry to hear you were always criticised but happy that you have healed that and are able to help so many people. I help my children feel confident by doing different things with them daily like painting or making things out of different items around the house and yard 😊 It always makes them proud of themselves because they do such wonderful creative projects. Thankyou for your videos
I told my depressed 13 year old son to give me three reasons why the girl at school should like him, he couldn't answer. So I gave him a homework assignment, FIND THEM.
Hello sir, I have been watching your videos and it truly amazing and helpful. I need your advise to solve problems. I am 21 year old guy. I have three problems, 1) having no self confidence and 2) decision making problem. In Decision making, sometime I act or react by thinking but then I do realise that whatever I did was wrong. and sometimes mistakes repeat twice. I don't know why I am so poor to think properly or poor in decision making. 3) Emotions: in emotions, sometime I feel so much lonely and sometime I spell out without seeing whether the person is faithful or (I don't know how to say) need your advise, sir.
i dont mean to be offtopic but does anyone know a method to log back into an instagram account?? I was dumb forgot my account password. I would love any tricks you can give me.
+Hakan T. Affirmations do work well but it has to be more than that. It has to be a lifestyle. You have to be continuously learning and developing yourself. If you make it a lifestyle your subconscious will automatically adjust to your new mind set. Make it a goal to go to bed a little wiser every day and use your goals to stay on track of your development.
hi Lisa, nice talk, Im glad that you are regaining the rightful feelings that God programmed you to be. I just want to say that I am Catholic and Im blessed because I know that people will be imperfect and will sometimes or often mean to us but someone got tell us that Jesus loves us that He came down from the high state of being and become one of us yet did not sin, yet died on the cross to redeem us from our sins. if you believe that by God s grace you will change your self perception. As someone who is WORTHY of all the love and is an avenue of that love.
Hello Brian! Thank you so much for this beautiful video. I have a 14 year old boy and 10 year old girl. I always shout at them when they don't follow the rules. Sometimes I say hurtful speech, but I would like to change all of that and start boosting their confidence. How best can I change that and start respecting my children? Sometimes I really try but most of the times I see myself going back to shouting and saying hurtful speech whenever they don't follow the rules. Please help me bring back my children's confidence and be a better mum.
Same for me as well... I have a 10 year old son... and I, too, have the same problem... I don't want to criticize my son all the time... but I do it subconsciously as I was treated that way in my childhood... please help me to stop abusive behavior and bring back my child's confidence...
Not sure I agree with number 3. Constant positive feedback is not how the world works, and though the family should be a safe space at all times, some resilience should be allowed to be built up in said safe environment prior to being exposed to the "realness" of the outside world. Only positive affirmation without negative feedback might create children that aren't resentful to their parents: but sure enough, they will end up resenting the rest of the world for not wanting to bathe in the bliss of their ignorance. Also, in point number one you mention "rules" having to be laid out. The upholding of certain kinds of rules requires enforcement by means of repercussions, which in itself, cannot be positive nor pleasant in nature in order for the consequences of actions to be considered in the future, which is the whole point of education (and domestication general); in its positive as well as negative aspects.
I have come to realise that relationships wether with our partners or children, should offer us a safe place where we can be our true authentic self , we need for our voices to be heard and we need to be seen. Plus healthy loving critism when necessary
Thanks for your comment..I try to use their time in something productive...I try to teach them myself mostly..provide them good books.. But inspite of doing all good as per me...they kip fighting aged 11 n 8...younger one doesn't listen to me.. I m worried as time is flying.. I want to confess that sometimes I hit them n then feel guilty all d time..due to work stress
I have been raised by a restricted atmosphere where everyone judged me and i have been facing lack of confidence all my academic and youth time. Now im a mother and im afriad that if i get tired because of daily home chores or due to any reason i dont repeat the same mistakes my parents did to me. Please guide me more about how i can raise a confident well mannered child. Thanks
love4hair Congrats on beginning the journey. We train for jobs and races. Yet, parenting we leave to figure out as we go. I applaud you for gaining the tools early. All the best.
Hi Brian, writing you for the promise you made to follow up. I'm exceptionally worried for my teenage kid, who has gone too low in her confidence. There's stress and anxiety to a great level. I agree my speech was not write for a certain time in the past. My anger produced some sharp words. Now it's been yrs no amount of talk, love, assurance is able to bring her confidence back. We both are in sync and are trying each day to bring back that happy child . Please help me how can I erase her "being scared" feelings
First of all forgive yourself we cannot give what we do not have. Now you are doing your best. One thing I have learned about teenage children they go through their own process and sometimes we as parents spend a lot of time trying to fix things for them. I know for my daughter I let her know that I am here, I would do my best to speak her love language and just wait until she work through some things out.
Thank you Mr. Tracy so much, this is just what I needed today! Our 4 year old is acting out at the moment in Kindergarden and I worried if I handle the situation appropriately. We tell him everyday that he is the love of our lives, how proud we are of him etc. So when he is acting out (being rude, not listening, not participating in activities...) we are disappointed and even if we do not tell him that we are disappointed, I am sure he feels it. He does not talk about his day and when we ask, he changes the subject. What can we do to make him trust us more?
Iris Odin (coming from a behavior therapist for children and not the maker of the video, obviously :) ) You could ask him what he needs from you to help him have better behavior in school? Maybe ask him why he is having a hard time listening, participating, etc. Communicate with his teacher. If he has had a good day, create a reward chart so he could earn stickers for "good days" that will add up for a fun outing with you (I find this more effective than toys or treats). He will trust you if you help him succeed and try to get to the root of the issue. But setting limits is also important. Kids build trust off of consistency. If he's had a "bad day" at school, briefly explain to him that "i can't give you a sticker today because you had a hard time listening and following directions. You can try again tomorrow." (If you use a reward chart or something tangible).
Iris Odin In addition to reward systems, I would add that sometimes we have to remove the conversation from parent to child to something neutral. Example, read stories together that relate to characters that go through different scenarios at school. Discuss the character in order to gain entry into your child talking. This becomes a great segway to both parentand child opening up about how they feel. Trust us gained from feeling safe also. All the best!
The key to raising children right is putting God first in everything, just like in your marriage. The Bible teaches you everything you need to know about faith, hope and love.
Traveling with childrens to Europe from our R.Federation to see how people can live and work. Listening and explaining good classical music. Try to build a discipline.
Hi Brian..Will follow your wonderful inputs..in fact mostly do e Sept there the rules are bendy in my place,which irks me a bit😊otherwise !y daughter is fairly sorted.That said,this is a constant process .
As a child I was very unhappy because of my appearance. Most children don't care how they look, but I was born with facial birth defects. My parents told me I was beautiful, but it never made me feel any better.
He is completely right , never criticize your children. My mother was perfect , se did a lot of sacrifice for us , she has always put her children ahead but there was one negative thing, I know that my mother loved us with every fiber of her being but she has always compared us with other children and when we grew up, she started compared us with other guys ,I am 32 yeas old, I have a well paid job, I am an handsome man and people around me love me but my self esteem is too law that people think that I play the victim but the true is that I had never been able to develop my confidence and self-esteem I feel as I was the last of the list.
Thanks for the very consice informative video I call them with lovely names and i never ever revile them I watch this video to know how to build their self confidence
Honestly, this book ‘Raising Warriors: Preparing Your Children For a Godly Life’ gave me the encouragement I needed to stay strong in raising my kids with Christian values, it’s comforting to know Im not alone on this journey
When I'm on the phone and I know they are secretly listening I talk about how great they are and how they blew me away - how great they help around the house how proud I am of them.
zozishine Such a great technique especially seeing how my daughter ear hustles on a regular basis. Children love to hear you speak well of them in front of others.
Lol.. that is funny! You could really play it up how well they did something and harp on about how great they are! It would be interesting to secretly video their little faces while they were listening to it to see how they react to that talk!
Such a great tip ❤️❤️
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To help my children I modle the behavior I want to see in them. I stay away from put downs and negative frases. I focus on positive. "ok the food is on the floor what should we do?" "I see that your mad, why?" how does that make you feel?" what if it was done to you, how would it make you feel?". I try to guide them to the answer so they have the joy of discovery. if it's a bigger problem like hitting or lieing I try to discover why they felt the need to lie by asking them about it. then ask them for a more positive way to get what they want...manners.
Thank you to you and Mr. umm... (fill in the blank) lol sorry I don't know his name. I‘ll take that in mind. I‘m trying to be the best aunty I possibly can be.
McRae Meyer Questions are powerful approach to helping children to understand their feelings and find think through how to handle conflict. Modeling is key in everything we do with our children, even when we make mistakes.
@@DrZlessons
Thank you!
I am new to teaching, and I am starting to teach kindergarten but I am just 23 years, what I'd like to do is to build an image of prosperity in their minds, and build brain cells by showing them images of greatness, role models and tell them that they can be better than I am
Thanks for the video.
Summary for How to raise happy, confident children:
1. Ensure your children have rules.
2. Empower them to make their own decisions.
3. Talk to them in a certain manner.
Thank you for taking such great notes
My children have schedules on the wall that they follow. 7am Breakfast and Praise, 7:45 bathe and brush teeth, 8:00 get dresses for school etc. It has pictures which they helped pick out or draw and color and its always on the wall at their eye level. This has been huge for them! I started my daughter on hers at age4 and now my son has had his since after he turned 4. They like following their schedule, learning how to manage time, read words (its in both English and French) etc. There are morning, afternoon and evening schedules. They get to the point where they know the schedule by heart but we still keep them up and refer to them. For weekends and other non school days, I make it my business to explain to them what plans we have in advance so they are aware BUT sometimes things change and I'm clear about the importance of being willing and able to adapt to changes.
Rashida Davis, Really Nourish Schedules definitely help to establish structure, but more importantly is that you involved your children in the creation of a system that they're apart of. Kudos to you! My children love feeling like they are part of the process and they own it when they are.
where is their fun why do they need to praise
I will do the opposite of what my father did. I will make my son feel like the most loved person on the planet.
I just wanted to tell you that before doing that you should make sure that you are not hearted by what your dad did because if you do you will not love your children cuz you don't know what is parent's love 🚸
@@khadijaouzidane2204 I agree with you totally
❤️❤️❤️
No dont I now have depression
But don't show this message to your children and specially to your father....
Parents always love their children but styles may b different...
Great! I have been listening to you since my daughter was 4. she loves listening to you. I have applied what I learned from you. It's amazing how confident she is about her and she has big goals.
thank you for these wonderful teachings. you are an inspiration to my family.
Thank you Brian. I enjoyed your video. My son is now 27, however when he was small I tried to encourage him all the time I tried to praise him and taught him that I believed that he would do well in life ( no matter his race this is important) I always tried to support him. As an only child he was on the computer alot, I tried to discourage this. He didn't like the rules but he did like to make his own decisions. He is now working as a sales manager of a software company. He loves his job. I am now helping out at a saturday school which I too enjoy.
thank you mr Brian
I think supporting them plays main role in bonding with them
and some times parents laugh on thier children when they are upset its also not the good way of approaching the problem
This is information that ALL parents or future parents need..... People need to learn to be PARENTS and stop being friends to their children.... By bringing a life into this world it is YOUR job to start their teaching and upbringing the correct way OR they will end up paying for it for the rest of their lives.
Thank you, Brian! I encourage my children by commenting how I admire a concrete accomplishment they made, trying not to exaggerate. I also let them decide little things like which haircut they want, which piece of clothing, etc (they're young)
I tell my kiddos to always tell me the truth. I let them know that they are not in trouble and telling me the truth makes it easier to believe them in the future if anything happens!
I am not always saying the right thing to my 8yr old son, but it's so funny, when I say he's a smart boy and I get an "I know, dad" :)
It's been 7 years haha How's your smart boy now?
@@ChiMilleylol
Thank you Mr. Tracy for such great advise. What i have seen in my child is that he really enjoys painting and sketching. We have gifted him art supplies and he gets to make his own decisions on what he wants to creat or express. I’ve found art to be an incredible way to express himself especially when he is young and life experiences are still so raw and new to him. I also get to join him often and it is a beautiful and peaceful moment to have with the most incredible people in our lives.
I do have difficulties with raising my child alone, but try everyday to teach him respect for himself and to accept himself exactly the way he are.
thank you so much for this line of accepting oneself, I think is a beautiful thing, is so much harder doing the opposite
Mr. Tracy I only came across your videos today and have listened to about 4 now. Your talks are truly amazing and your soft spoken demeanor is so encouraging and uplifting.
Thank you for your effort and biggest of wisdom, I will definitely be picking up your books... I hope one day to shake your hand. God bless!
* nuggets of wisdom
Thank you for your kind words, Robert.
Im pregnant with my first child right now, Im a psychology student in my last year and all these words of wisdom from this man are true and I intend to follow them !
Can you do a video on how to help children be more assertive (within reason, of course), how to "speak up" louder, and how to find their voice & be more confident in themselves?
I was trying to get some help with this as well. Did you find any ? Please let us know.
Child may not be assertive for many reasons. 1- his views my have been ignored or discounted, 2- he was taught to believe that his input is not important. Reverse this and you will see the change. Start with asking the child questions of importance "Bobby where do you think we should go out to eat tonight as a family? Or "what do you think we should watch for movie night?" Put him in position of leadership incrementally at home.
When I was a child, my was always remain busy with his work, it was my grandfather who nurtured us, but I want to spend good time with my child, I will implement your suggestions. Thank you for invaluable suggestions.
I think parents need to change how they grew up to be able to raise confident children.... I feel like I raise my children exactly the way my parents raised me and I hate it... I wish I can change that... I want to change it... But I don’t know if I will be able to 😔 Being a single parent is so hard and wanting confident, healthy, happy children is even harder. Every time I try to change and raise them different I fail and go back to the way I was raised. Ugh frustrating. I will try again From now on with your great tips and see how it goes. Hope I don’t fail again. Wish me luck
You need frequent coaching my dear ....
Oh my god , I was doing all things wrong. Thank you for the good work. May god bless you.
Happy to hear this. I will take it to heart. We need to shine more positivity into our children's lives. Sometimes listening to parents sounds more like war stories - managing the foe!
I trust your kids also had a wonderful mother.
Recognizing the good parts of children is often sacred, and when it is given, the seed planted slowly develops the roots.
I don't have children. But this video is useful for me too, because I understood that we have to care about self-esttem of other people.
Wow! Yes!
Thank you so much Brian! Those tips are such a helpful and practical tips. You're amazing!
About to become a father for the first time in a few weeks. These points will be in the back of my head as my daughter grows up.
Stay patient and give love, hope it's going well for you.
Hi Brian... excellent as always! I along with my fiancee are now raising her 5 year old grandson.. His parent have issues drugs and the like, employment etc. we had to take custody to provide for him a safe and emotionally stable environment. 4 years of his life was with his parents ... basically as vagabonds... the street life. So we have a lot of work to do and your suggestions from your programs has been a God-send. Reminding us that positive communications, rituals and structure make a real difference. Again...its work and sometimes a challenge because of the ways he was living his life... but we will win together. Thanks so much for all you've done for me in my life... Mike Husson, Fl
How has it been going?
A great book I read on parenting is Bringing Up Bebe by Pamela Druckerman. Amazing!
I think giving your kids independence is so important. It makes me cringe watching parents run after their children repeating "don't do this, don't do that, be careful!". Let the kids play on their own and let them make mistakes and get a scratch! That's how they learn!
My wife is reading that book and has shared quite a bit from it. I agree, it sounds like a great book so far!
John Novay I hope you've read it by now ☺
I really liked and agree to your words "let the kids play......" will surely buy this book first thing tomorrow
Thank you very much Brian. I love listening to your different talks.You are always right to the point. You are one of my teachers.
I don't have children now but I think that it's so important that we understand the decisions we make when raising them. Thanks Brian for the wonderful video! (:
That's awesome, great message to build the life of our children.
As a parent will always cherish them by encouraging them doing the right things. And also by admonishing them through the 3 steps of self confidence.
Thanks a lot
I am very impressed by the video. We always try to encourage our son for new learning, but sometime criticize, which wont do any more. Thanks for this information.
3instrumentman too much criticize make your kid stressed out and depressed. I think parent should be balance not too criticizing yet not to soft.
3instrumentman too much criticize make your kid stressed out and depressed. I think parent should be balance not too criticizing yet not to soft.
Piyush Katariya I think every parent should meditate multiple times a day. even if it's only 5 or 10 minutes, and during this meditation think about your children what they're doing how you feel about it and how you can make them feel better about themselves with the things that they're doing or interest they have. if your child is doing something you're not sure about or don't know how to react. then don't say anything negative and take a few moments alone to think about the best way to communicate to your child positively.
Piyush Katariya the fact that you're watching videos like this. Makes me feel like you must be a good parent. Because the bad ones would never take the time to watch this video. instead they would be watching something for their own personal interest.
Program for Adolescents from 12 to 18 years old, which provides all the tools that young people need in this stage of so many changes. go.hotmart.com/N41619965R
I had a mother who never criticised me and told me how great and perfect I am. Turns out now I'm extremely critical of others who aren't so perfect and I want to be perfect all the time. Not being critical and only focusing on the good can create a self entitled and narcissistic adult. So be careful!
At 39 I still have self esteem issues. I want to raise confident children by giving them positive feed back.
thank you dear. this is very informative specially for me being a father of three children.
very useful.
I have always encouraged my child to express her views and given ear to it and treated her with respect
Hi Brian, great video. Im always mindful of the language I use towards my son.
in what ways specifically?
Like since he could talk Ive told him "can't" is a cuss word therefore he never says the word cant and neither does my wife and I. I get him to say the words 'Im getting better and better' instead of 'try'.
That is great! I will do that.
Thank you Brian, this should come handy. I have tried to handle my boy child with discipline but it is certainly not working out,I elicit the exact opposite of what I set out to achieve, I will surely do things differently with this video and would appreciate any further assistance in this regard.
I enjoyed this video. one thing that i didn't know before and i particularly learnt from this video was ( children subconsciously need guidance and rules in order to build more confidence.
Wise talk! My son is 7 years old, I’m a guilty parent who constantly yells at him for the smallest thing. Also I always tell him how great he is and that I love him no matter what, Reminding him that mistakes happened and that the yelling is about the mistake not the person . He has low self esteem , I praise him all the time but he constantly thinks I can do it, or I know I won’t be able to or I’m this or that. And it makes me feel so bad cuz I feel like I’m the cause due to too much yelling.
Racha, my parenting style is not to yell alot, but more to educate. I find it a better investment to spend 10 minutes properly explaining to a kid how they went wrong so it makes sense to them. Explain it to them slowly. Imagine yourself at a new workplace where it's your first day on the job and you are making mistake after mistake. You wouldn't learn and grow if everyone was simply yelling at you. It would be far better of them to explain why a task is done a certain way so you can learn and grow.
Healthy psychological foundation is the soil....self esteem is the stem... and confidence is the flower 💐
Thank you so very much Brian! I have a long story to tell and I don't know if you are able to read and respond or if you have an email but here goes: I raised three wonderful children, had a firm set of rules and also never criticized them. I only built them up, always told them how much I loved them, how smart they were, how they could be anything they wanted to be, taught them about God's love etc. I took them to parks, made sure they all learned how to swim, ran a swim team for 10 years so they could be involved in a physically and emotionally healthy activity with wholesome children. I never compared them and taught them to always love and be close to each other. It never mattered to me what others thought, I never cared about being popular. From the time they were 4, I began drilling it into their heads, that they'd attend college, and graduate school on academic scholarships. They all did. There was nothing that I wouldn't do for them. I was blessed to be a stay at home mother. I truly gave them my all and I truly was maternal and patient. They weren't hit (except when they ran into the street). I never raised my voice to correct them. Punishments were age appropriate (sitting on the landing of the stairs for 2, 3, 5 minutes depending on age) and writing me a letter or poem about what they had done wrong. They were the joy of my life. A huge problem was their dad, he was a domestic abuser, also insisting his mother live with us our entire married life. She could be kind and helpful but she wasn't consistent. She was borderline personality disorder among other things. They both got nasty when they drank. My ex is an alcoholic. His mother demanded constant attention and would do anything to obtain it. She also too great pleasure in teasing infants to the point of making them cry hysterically, she wondered why my cat used to attack her (I found her twirling around and shaking a pillowcase with him as kitten in it, her taking such glee in doing so). And she professes to be a great animal lover. My ex and his mother had a downright sick and twisted relationship. She admitted to breaking up his first marriage and she always professed to be a faithful Catholic. I am regretful for marrying this man and subjecting my precious children to him and his mother but then they wouldn't be here if I didn't. I honestly didn't know anything but abuse. Both of my parents abused me, my father sexually. My father was also a domestic abuser. This was normal to me and I had no self-esteem. My ex was also 10 years older than me, not much of a difference when you're older but a huge difference at 18. I believe in his way, my ex loved them but he criticized them, yelled and screamed at them, put them down, constantly teased them, was incredibly unreasonable in his expectations, tried to force food and activities and decisions on them that they didn't want. Their grandmother went between loving them and hating them. We never knew who she was going to be. My ex and his mother had knock down drag out fights all the time which the children witnessed with fear. My ex yelled and screamed at me for ridiculous things. I may not have stuck up for myself but with my children, I was the mother bear with her cubs (and he actually used to joke about never getting between the mother and her cubs). I was so involved in my children and was so happy to have someone to love and be loved that I tuned out the rest of the world. I wouldn't have ever left because I was scared to death that about what would happen to them alone during visitation with my ex, his mother and his family. At least keeping the family intact, I knew everything and could comfort my children. My ex was also the classic abuser isolating me from my dear friends, leaving me with no support. I may have been a little too strict during their teen years due to the abuse I suffered which led to many devastating things that I faced alone as a teen. It was my fervent wish to not have anything bad happen to them so I continued with my rules but obviously had to add to them when my children became teens. I was very verbal, repetitious and to the point about talking about the repurcussions of sex, smoking, drinking and drugs and about following the crowd, encouraging them to have the courage to dare to be different.I do have a fault of overdoing things and my middle daughter told me much later that I scared her so much about becoming pregnant before being married since I always told her that I had already raised 3 children so I wouldn't raise anymore so that if she or my other daughter found themselves in that position, they'd be shipped off to the Christian home for unwed mothers. She was angry about it but she was never promiscious and never gave birth until she married and I would of, course, never would have sent my children away. You know why Is said that. To save my life, I had to leave my home when my children were 17 1/2 (my son), 19 1/2 and 21 1/2 (my daughters). My ex not only always physically sexually abused me (delighting in inflicting pain and humiliation), the psychological and verbal abuse was unbearable, then he finally began physically abusing me and then he raped me. During our entire marriage, with no shame and in front of others, he also delighted on a regular basis, demonstrating putting me in a headlock and saying how easy it would be to snap it and kill me (a technique he learned in the Marines). I believed he was going to kill me so I left. I was very suicidal at the time but then became very angry. My children weren't blind or stupid. They all agreed with me before I left that he was abusive. Stupidly, I believed him that he would never let me leave unless I had an affair. I understand how very naive that sounds but I'm being truthful. Unless people are truly aware of what goes on in the mind of a woman who has been abused her entire life, they couldn't possibly understand. Always a moral and faithful woman, but being accused and checked up several times a day every single day during our entire marriage, I began a phone affair that did lead to becoming physical.. If anyone doesn't understand about how horrendous it is to be the victim of domestic abuse, let me tell you it's as if an otherwise intelligent woman is totally brainwashed and so terrified and ashamed to tell anyone. When my ex found out, he called both our daughters at college, my father (they've always been best buddies) and our Pastor. Our Pastor had already told me that he knew my ex was abusing me. Our Pastor chastised my ex, not me.the next day after a meeting that my ex demanded. Our Pastor touched on about 10 key points and when we had returned to the car, my ex denied everything our Pastor had just said. I'm not justifying that my affair was right, but I needed a desperate action to get out and I needed someone to show me some love and to show me what a healthy sexual act between a man and woman was. I had no idea. This man mostly held me and talked to me and that validation gave me the courage to leave. My two youngest children have never forgiven me and have always sided with their abusive father. Only my oldest daughter has been loyal to me. By the way, when I divorced their father, my oldest daughter, finally ended the second abusive relationship she had been involved with and nobody has to tell me that divorcing her father completely changed her life. She married a loving man who values her.I don't understand why my other children won't forgive me. I've apologized so many times. I know I'm a sinner and I know I'll always be one, I've made a lot of mistakes and always will because I'm human. They profess to be Christians but isn't forgiveness the entire reason Jesus Christ came down and took the form of a human man to die on the Cross to redeem us for our sins? They still afford their father respect and also his live-in girlfriend who is quite crass, has a filthy loud mouth and who bosses their father around. I am not putting her down.I am just saying we are very different people.. I'm remarried to a wonderful man who is a Christian and who truly loves me. Why do my children give my ex and his girlfriend (and my father who sexually abused me) so much respect and refuse to speak with me or give my husband any respect? I also gave up my alimony and a lot of other money so that they could all go to graduate school and like I said, they all did. My youngest, my son is an attorney. My middle daughter in an RN with an undergrad in biology and chemistry and my oldest daughter is an attorney. This is heartbreaking to me. If anyone reads this, please, I welcome feedback. I didn't mean to marry such an awful man. That was my normal. That's how my parents treated me. I didn't know anything else. I do now. Thank you.Oh, and my ex made his mother leave when I left, he no longer had me as the buffer. I'm glad, at least my son was happy and could have his friends over in peace without her ruining his life.
Donna Pierotti l
Wow this is a long sad story.. i dont know how it is to grow up in a sad terrible situation as that. I have lived a very beautiful and caring family where my needs are met well. I cant speak for you and I cannot judge you because we are both coming from different backgrounds but the only thing I can advice is to make yourself a priority. Show value to yourself. Your kids are grown up and they are now completely aware of what they are doing. Let them make their own choices and continue to do the right thing. Even if they misunderstand you, just be confident you know yourself more than anyone else does. Enough of loving other people and compromising yourself. Inorder to truly love our family and others, we need to truly love ourself first. Do things that make you happy, take care of yourself and how you look. Make yourself beautiful for your own happiness, take time to rest and be healthy. How you respect yourself will be the measure of how other people will respect you. Never let anyone hurt and disrespect you by creating boundaries. I hope you will have the best years for the rest of your life. God bless you
This is a very nice video. I already knew I was doing something wrong, but this clarified it. My daughter needs structure. I tell her to make sure she cleans up after playing with anything, but she doesn't. And if I try to enforce it, her response is "Fine. I will never play then." I try to explain everything to her. But sometimes I get the feeling I am too soft. I really don't know how to handle this. Her father sends her to time out. I just don't see that anything is working with her unwillingness to follow commands. If you could offer any advice, I'm all ears. I want to raise a strong, confident and happy child. She seems happy, but I'm not sure about the rest. We praise her all the time and teach her to be proud of herself. If we could teach her to follow instructions without the whining and threats... without the instant negative reponses, it would be wonderful! She is 6 years old already. I feel like I am losing that chance to help her with this. Thank you for your time.
It happens. She is being lazy.
I totally agree.Thank you ☺
How kind you are!😭💗Thanks a million for this wonderful video.
thanks sir I don't do anything special right now but from today I will follow your advice to raise my 9yr and4yr kids.thanks again
Thanks Sir, This video is so beneficial! Thought i will share with you what i do on a regular basis....I ask my 9 yr old girl to make a list of 5 things she did during the day which makes her feel good/ proud of herself. This way i have evidence to strengthen her self-confidence.
I'm glad
Excellent. Loveliest advise for the parents, teacher and elders.
This video was so valuable and useful and it’s my go to video as reinforcement for greatness. Thank you for this amazing video.
My middle son isn't very confident in school and he's somewhat a perfectionist. He's very consciousness and cautious . He doesn't like to disappoint. My other two are extremely confident and outgoing. Right now, it's a struggle to get him to write independently. He only wants to write if his teacher is right there helping him every step of the way. Any advice? I want to help him, but I'm unsure how.
Thank you
I don’t have kids yet but I take care of my sisters kids and this is really helping me learn how to be a better parent to them, I pray that I teach them real love and respect for themselves
Raising a confident child is a universal aspiration for parents. thank video so much
Thanks Brian, one day these will be useful :)
😂😂
I see what you mean I'm not a parent but I got all brothers sooo..
I'll be experimenting see how it goes for them
I do already do these things with my brothers though so, hehe😂😁✌️
Ps:hope you have a nice day or night whatever it is for you ✌️
This is just superb, I have been researching "early childhood studies courses" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Ever heard of - Elilan Coachify Domination - (just google it ) ? Ive heard some awesome things about it and my buddy got amazing results with it.
Has this day come for you yet? Lol
I will admit I was brought up by my parents and grandparents which I ended up with conflicting messages and upbringing, which I also spent years going through speech / physical therapy plus both of my parents (when we moved away from the grandparents) turned into workaholics although I was bought up to put the needs of others first even though it did dampen my childhood... It is HIGHLY important to show and tell your children you love them, encourage them, and show them by example how to live a good and healthy life.... It took me going on a family vacation as a youth driving out East to find out that my dad has a temper and is / was racist and after hearing that I vowed to be NOTHING like my father. Just because my parents had friends who 'tried" an MLM and they also tried their own business they had told me that I was not able to do it (this was in 2005 and I am still working on getting rid of that message in my mind).
Oh my youll get through.... Keep it up
I'm sorry to hear you were always criticised but happy that you have healed that and are able to help so many people. I help my children feel confident by doing different things with them daily like painting or making things out of different items around the house and yard 😊 It always makes them proud of themselves because they do such wonderful creative projects. Thankyou for your videos
That is a great thing to do. Your children will be thankful for the time they have spent with you growing up. Best of luck to you!
Do you document these things in a website or a blog?
I told my depressed 13 year old son to give me three reasons why the girl at school should like him, he couldn't answer. So I gave him a homework assignment, FIND THEM.
Hello sir, I have been watching your videos and it truly amazing and helpful.
I need your advise to solve problems. I am 21 year old guy. I have three problems, 1) having no self confidence and 2) decision making problem.
In Decision making, sometime I act or react by thinking but then I do realise that whatever I did was wrong. and sometimes mistakes repeat twice. I don't know why I am so poor to think properly or poor in decision making.
3) Emotions: in emotions, sometime I feel so much lonely and sometime I spell out without seeing whether the person is faithful or (I don't know how to say)
need your advise, sir.
I think u smoke weed and it's giving u a hard time brother
I'll always encourage and support my child in a good way
All 3 tips are great. Thank you Brian, keep up the good work!
i dont mean to be offtopic but does anyone know a method to log back into an instagram account??
I was dumb forgot my account password. I would love any tricks you can give me.
@Adonis Sterling instablaster =)
I ask my child to find and say minimum 3 situation she had through the day when she was feeling proud of herself just before she go to sleep.
Sounds like you are pushing hard. That is the reverse meaning of what Brian teaches.
.. 3 is alot.
How did you overcome the way you were raised and became a confident successful human being?
Practice alchemy.
I asked myself the same question.
Reprogramming his minds for success which we all should do.
+Hakan T. Affirmations do work well but it has to be more than that. It has to be a lifestyle. You have to be continuously learning and developing yourself. If you make it a lifestyle your subconscious will automatically adjust to your new mind set. Make it a goal to go to bed a little wiser every day and use your goals to stay on track of your development.
@@skepticalbutopen4620 i know self image right.
hi Lisa, nice talk, Im glad that you are regaining the rightful feelings that God programmed you to be. I just want to say that I am Catholic and Im blessed because I know that people will be imperfect and will sometimes or often mean to us
but someone got tell us that Jesus loves us that He came down from the high state of being and become one of us yet did not sin, yet died on the cross to redeem us from our sins. if you believe that by God s grace you will change your self perception. As someone who is WORTHY of all the love and is an avenue of that love.
Hello Brian! Thank you so much for this beautiful video. I have a 14 year old boy and 10 year old girl. I always shout at them when they don't follow the rules. Sometimes I say hurtful speech, but I would like to change all of that and start boosting their confidence. How best can I change that and start respecting my children? Sometimes I really try but most of the times I see myself going back to shouting and saying hurtful speech whenever they don't follow the rules.
Please help me bring back my children's confidence and be a better mum.
Same for me as well... I have a 10 year old son... and I, too, have the same problem... I don't want to criticize my son all the time... but I do it subconsciously as I was treated that way in my childhood... please help me to stop abusive behavior and bring back my child's confidence...
thank you sir! I will follow those tips
Overlook their failures and encourage them to keep trying. Give them guidelines rather than spoonfeed to find the best ways to solve a problem.
Not sure I agree with number 3. Constant positive feedback is not how the world works, and though the family should be a safe space at all times, some resilience should be allowed to be built up in said safe environment prior to being exposed to the "realness" of the outside world.
Only positive affirmation without negative feedback might create children that aren't resentful to their parents: but sure enough, they will end up resenting the rest of the world for not wanting to bathe in the bliss of their ignorance.
Also, in point number one you mention "rules" having to be laid out. The upholding of certain kinds of rules requires enforcement by means of repercussions, which in itself, cannot be positive nor pleasant in nature in order for the consequences of actions to be considered in the future, which is the whole point of education (and domestication general); in its positive as well as negative aspects.
I always tell them that I love them, no matter what.
I have come to realise that relationships wether with our partners or children, should offer us a safe place where we can be our true authentic self , we need for our voices to be heard and we need to be seen. Plus healthy loving critism when necessary
Thank you sir. I have learnt some good things.
Thank you sooo much!!!
Thanks for your comment..I try to use their time in something productive...I try to teach them myself mostly..provide them good books..
But inspite of doing all good as per me...they kip fighting aged 11 n 8...younger one doesn't listen to me..
I m worried as time is flying..
I want to confess that sometimes I hit them n then feel guilty all d time..due to work stress
Thank u
I have been raised by a restricted atmosphere where everyone judged me and i have been facing lack of confidence all my academic and youth time. Now im a mother and im afriad that if i get tired because of daily home chores or due to any reason i dont repeat the same mistakes my parents did to me. Please guide me more about how i can raise a confident well mannered child. Thanks
Thanks for sharing
I have my three years old daughter taking responsibility for her own action. And also, I show her the difference between right and wrong.
Good for you
Thanks! I have a 8 mth old and needed to hear this👏🏽
love4hair Congrats on beginning the journey. We train for jobs and races. Yet, parenting we leave to figure out as we go. I applaud you for gaining the tools early. All the best.
Thank you very much sir.
Hi Brian, writing you for the promise you made to follow up. I'm exceptionally worried for my teenage kid, who has gone too low in her confidence. There's stress and anxiety to a great level. I agree my speech was not write for a certain time in the past. My anger produced some sharp words. Now it's been yrs no amount of talk, love, assurance is able to bring her confidence back. We both are in sync and are trying each day to bring back that happy child . Please help me how can I erase her "being scared" feelings
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First of all forgive yourself we cannot give what we do not have. Now you are doing your best. One thing I have learned about teenage children they go through their own process and sometimes we as parents spend a lot of time trying to fix things for them. I know for my daughter I let her know that I am here, I would do my best to speak her love language and just wait until she work through some things out.
Thanks
Very positive talk. And so so True.
Thank you Mr. Tracy so much, this is just what I needed today! Our 4 year old is acting out at the moment in Kindergarden and I worried if I handle the situation appropriately. We tell him everyday that he is the love of our lives, how proud we are of him etc. So when he is acting out (being rude, not listening, not participating in activities...) we are disappointed and even if we do not tell him that we are disappointed, I am sure he feels it. He does not talk about his day and when we ask, he changes the subject. What can we do to make him trust us more?
Iris Odin (coming from a behavior therapist for children and not the maker of the video, obviously :) ) You could ask him what he needs from you to help him have better behavior in school? Maybe ask him why he is having a hard time listening, participating, etc. Communicate with his teacher. If he has had a good day, create a reward chart so he could earn stickers for "good days" that will add up for a fun outing with you (I find this more effective than toys or treats). He will trust you if you help him succeed and try to get to the root of the issue. But setting limits is also important. Kids build trust off of consistency. If he's had a "bad day" at school, briefly explain to him that "i can't give you a sticker today because you had a hard time listening and following directions. You can try again tomorrow." (If you use a reward chart or something tangible).
Iris Odin In addition to reward systems, I would add that sometimes we have to remove the conversation from parent to child to something neutral. Example, read stories together that relate to characters that go through different scenarios at school. Discuss the character in order to gain entry into your child talking. This becomes a great segway to both parentand child opening up about how they feel. Trust us gained from feeling safe also. All the best!
i will go on a walk and let one of the children lead the way ... we all have to follow.
Thanks Sir...
the way you talk to your kids, becomes their inner voice.
Very true statement...thanks 4 sharing
I talk to them all the time ..and be open about lots of things 😌
The key to raising children right is putting God first in everything, just like in your marriage.
The Bible teaches you everything you need to know about faith, hope and love.
Traveling with childrens to Europe from our R.Federation to see how people can live and work. Listening and explaining good classical music. Try to build a discipline.
amazing , thank you so much, I wish it was that easy !
Thank you Brian
Thankyou
Hi Brian..Will follow your wonderful inputs..in fact mostly do e Sept there the rules are bendy in my place,which irks me a bit😊otherwise !y daughter is fairly sorted.That said,this is a constant process .
As a child I was very unhappy because of my appearance. Most children don't care how they look, but I was born with facial birth defects. My parents told me I was beautiful, but it never made me feel any better.
Yes, it is so hard to deal with for girl. I feel for you and hope you get to love yourself dearly.
Thank you sir!
He is completely right , never criticize your children. My mother was perfect , se did a lot of sacrifice for us , she has always put her children ahead but there was one negative thing, I know that my mother loved us with every fiber of her being but she has always compared us with other children and when we grew up, she started compared us with other guys ,I am 32 yeas old, I have a well paid job, I am an handsome man and people around me love me but my self esteem is too law that people think that I play the victim but the true is that I had never been able to develop my confidence and self-esteem I feel as I was the last of the list.
my parents gave me negative criticism when i was young ...that absolutely affect children deeply !!! thanks for this video, Brain :)
I praise them when they make good job .
Thanks for the very consice informative video
I call them with lovely names and i never ever revile them
I watch this video to know how to build their self confidence
Thanks for this wonderful advice!!!