Dare I say that we’re not loud enough. So many of the topics that you brought up I’ve been thinking about for some time now. Sexuality and religious aspects. The fact that Africa is psychologically governed by Shaaaamme? It feels so good finally have the lexicon to articulate it. Wow. You have a beautiful mind. Mad respect to you Sofi. From one African to another.
I have a whole lot to say honestly, but imma keep it short. If you listen to what people say, you honestly won't be able to live your life so please live your lie whichever way you choose. That is literally Happiness Thank you so much sofi, this is the more reason why i followed you in the first place. The authenticity and genuineness is what keeps me and i'll forever be an O.G SUBSCRIBER
I’m so glad you brought up shame, I was LITERALLY just talking about this the other day. The day africans as a whole are released from shame, is the day we move forward 😅😭
You should read “Sexuality and The Black Church: A Womanist Perspective,” by Kelly Brown Douglas. You are right. It should not matter, but there is a reason why homophobia exists and our sexuality is de-humanized. Everything that we have been taught about sexuality is more about controlling the masses than it is about ethics and morality. Even your most educated people don’t understand this because there is so much shame and taboo around the human body.
Thank you for starting this important conversation & articulating it so clearly. The level of shame and sexual repression in the African community is honestly so heartbreaking. You just gave someone the courage to honor themselves bc of this❤
Oddity I was crying with a bowl of popcorn listening to this episode, I feel oppressed in my own country and I can't even afford to live, that's what gives me courage to work twice as hard, I always quote Billie eilish -lovely "I hope one day I make it out of here, Even if it takes a day or a thousand years" no one deserves to live in fear like this
Sofi thank you so much for this episode for starting your podcast everything. This topic isn’t only for the queer communities it’s for the people that are different who don’t associate with the societal norms especially here in Nigeria I really love this episode thank you Sofi😊❤️❤️
Just subscribed from this episode, I’m a Nigerian mum and I was brought up to mind my business. Never shame anyone especially when you are not walking in their shoes. I understand how you don’t want to be perceived a certain way especially by your community (Nigeria) but youll be shocked how enlightened most people are these days. Especially the ones online… you did great having this uncomfortable conversation… be you! Everyone else will adjust or be fine ❤
I think this is an important conversation to have, especially within the African community. I think a lot of heterosexual people don’t bring up this topic either because they’re homophobic themselves or they believe I don’t hate gay people so I’m good. But we actually need y’all to speak up for us because that’s how we start changing peoples minds. The only thing I would push back on (even though I’m sure you didn’t mean it this way) is the whole “who cares” conversation, I think this idea of who cares who you have in your bed whittles down our sexuality to just s*x meanwhile it affects so much more than that. I think it’ll be cool to have Amara the Lesbian as a guest, she’s nigerian and lesbian and recently left Nigeria, if you want to open up the conversation that would be a cool way to do it. (She was also bald for a few years so y’all have that in common 😂)
for this conversation, for me its my religion that comes first, i am a muslim and ideally, same sex relationship is just a waste of time, not just for raising a family but just between both parties but where's the fun there....... yes i went to a boarding school too and i understood these things from tender ages but no for me but it doesn't really affect how ill have dealings with gay, i respect boundaries alot. sofi, regardless of what you want or choose for yourself, it doesn't change how i have seen and liked what you do but i don't see you as a gay sha
I haven't reached the point where you answered the question, but the real answer does not matter to me. Like you said, it is your business and I whole heartedly feel that everyone should follow their heart and just make sure not to hurt anyone. That is all
Many comedy skits where men dress as women seem to lack respect for the female experience. It’s often just for laughs, reducing women's lives and struggles to stereotypes and punchlines. This really should spark a deeper conversation-why do so many comedians think the easiest way to succeed is by mocking women? As a society, we need to ask ourselves what it says about us when we find humor in something that diminishes and trivializes women's realities.
I think people wanting to know may not necessarily to be intrusive but some may be looking for that virtual community they may or may not find in you that they’ve not had the bliss of having in real life. It is necessary for these conversations so that it gives grace to black Africans who are imprisoned in a life that only shame awaits them should they dare be themselves unapologetically.
2 episodes down and baabbbyyy!! Top Tier Podcast!!!! 💜💜 #betooloud I really think white colonialism is what brought shame, fear, and violence to queerness.
I'm glad you're calling out African countries. The fact that we'll jail people for who they want to love in a consenting adult relationship but won't jail pedophiles or rapists is wild
This episode just validated my thought process 😊. At least I’m not alone in this world Minding the Business that pays me and associating with people for being humans without getting worked up about their orientation and personal preferences 😊😊
My problem is all this people judging nd being homophobic are are evil than the people they are even condemning,one should have right to there sexual choice who others decided to sleep with should never be another person business,let everyone be their unapologetic self.love this conversation ❤
Listen to this on Spotify and I had to come here to watch to get your facial expressions to everything you said… whether you are gay or not the few people who loves you will always do regardless I mean we are humans and we don’t get to choose who we are attracted to or who we have feelings for it comes naturally like you said as Africans we tend to fight that spirit of sexually getting attracted to a girl just because of what the society will say or do…you see you’re the most vulnerable and confident person ever to come out and say stuffs like this because a lot of people shy away from this topic and there’s more to this…. regardless I have a different opinion about this gay topic
It’s the heeeh for me 😂… most, of our questions to others could be intrusive. I just hope that on every life issue, rather than worrying about the opinions of others (which they’ll have either way) we sincerely remain true to God and ourselves ✌🏾 And yea I did wait for the tea - very intrusive 🙈😂 Thanks Sophie ❤️
Exactly!!! 35:43 Who made all the rules, why is everything a certain way and the society just wants us to accept it just like that without having to question anything... Someone finally said something about this shit. Cuz at the end of the day everybody has their perspective on how they view things and I think we should all be able to accommodate everyone just the way they are and not having to judge them or feel like they're wrong cuz we don't agree with their perspective.
Everything you have said. I have had to deal with living here in NC. The southern states, or "Bible Belt," are so judgmental of how other people live their lives. At the same time, they would be doing things behind closed doors that would have them being judged. I joined the Air Force when I was 19, in 1997. I ended up in Las Vegas. That was the best experience of my life. Being able to travel outside the US in the Air Force. Have my eyes open to the world and meet new people from different backgrounds.
Everything about survival in Nigeria just revolves around shame Existing as a man or woman, you have to do things that won't put your family into shame We barely get to live life as our authentic self
Hey Sofi. This good topic I will listen. Less typing. Dont want to miss anything 😂. 14 yrs in prison? Wow. Is it not becoming more accepted in Africa? I ask because I watch a lot of Nigerian and South African movies and it’s becoming more prevalent in movies with more gay men and lesbian women; so is it more accepted in the African society? Sofi you have answered the question. You have already had likes towards men or women. You are attracted or like ppl whether man or woman and yes. Confusing to some but some will get it. I admire the beautiful Sofi the influencer/content creator, actress, motivational speaker, fashionista , entrepreneur. Your or anyone’s sexual orientation is their business. Doesn’t take away from your many skills or talents. But yes there are many phobic ppl that may feel differently. I’m older 60 next year , grandmother of 3 and I go with the flow and love and accept family and friends for who they are to me, not who they love. All I need you to do is be yourself, LOUD!!!🤗❤️🙏🏼
31:43 A lot of people can bring up the “Family name “ “ Family Image” “ what would people think” like who cares😩 let’s live our lives the way we want I’m a Nigerian Igbo girl who loves piercings and wears only black and sometimes I question my sexuality I can’t do something’s cause I’m not financially stable to leave my parents house🥺 it’s just sad
People need to understand that sexuality is not a person’s whole being. There are so many bits to a person. People should look or focus on other things In people. Why do you see someone and the important thing for you is who they sleep with?
Here is my very brief takeaway from this episode, combined with a few thoughts that outline principles I am rooted in and live by. Keep an open mind, approach people and have conversations with a desire to understand, regardless of if you agree with them or not. Agreeing or disagreeing is not necessarily always important. I truly believe that prioritizing understanding can and will "take you places" that simply agreeing or disagreeing won't. Beyond that, lead with love and respect. Don't be too quick to judge others, especially harshly, especially by standards that you can't live up to. Simply put, don't be a judgemental. I think that human beings are inherently judgmental, but I also think that we can all be intentional about not passing judgement indiscriminately, at every turn. When it is all said and done, we are all imperfect souls who despite feeling lost sometimes, are on this amazing adventure called life. Support others as they navigate life and attempt to discover who they authentically are and the impact they want to have on their friends, family, community, and maybe the world at large. Love wins, shame doesn't. That is my ramble for the night! Extremely proud of you Ronke, aka Sofi, aka the one and only Odditty ❤
I believe when read, interpreted and followed correctly religion is at least 99% the same. You then start to realise we serve the same Spiritual Being. But anyways that a topic for another day.
For me the main thing said in this episode was WETIN CONCERN YOU Like personally I just don’t care. I’m thinking of making money and I should still be thinking about why Jamiu is gay or why grace is a lesbian or why do some people all Jesus God. Oh why muslims can’t keep dogs. E no really concern any is. Just live your life, make money and have fun
To be really honest, I don’t think our society is ready to have this conversation. Realities are different - cultures are different. Especially for Africans. It’s only like 1 in 10 African (Nigerian) kids that grow up questioning the norm. Upbringings are reeeaaally different.
I think more people that we think are part of a spectrum and not allowing this conversation to happen is not allowing them to even explore the possibility of them being part of the spectrum. I am also think about people who have ADHD or autism or who are neurodivergent here...
It’s just interesting because I think the younger the generations, the more enlightenment. And it’s part of why people complain about social media being ‘too much’. It was the major channel “Westernization” was introduced to our region. It’s why the older generations would always hate. They didn’t have all of these enlightenment. There was no avenue to have these conversations. I can’t even imagine seeing my parents talk about sexuality right now. Let’s not even talk about religion. Lol.
Jah & Jahes love siSTAR. I would like to see you talk about the problems of black folks there is: immigration, poverty, and the legacies of slavery and colonialism. I kinda knew that you were not LGBTQAI because you did a pregnancy test and you have a man who keeps your puppy. Thanks for addressing domestic violence problems in black relationships. Blessed love.#1804#Ayiti#ToutMounseMoun#AbolishCPS#AbolishPoverty#DefundFosterCare#ProChoice#RawVeganforLife#HR40NOW#220YearsFREE#FreeAyiti#BwaKale#LandBackNoW
If you went home to Nigeria to visit your family, would you be afraid? Not of your family's reaction, but of the Nigerian government...of being arrested or detained? You have not actually answered the question, as that was not the point of the podcast, but would the question of it put you in any danger in Nigeria?
Are there gay practising Muslims in America ? I ask bcos I haven’t seen any. Also because the religion itself with its many do’s and don’ts and some people following the Quran will have issues with it. And yes at the end of the day, it really is no ones business what their sexuality is, people shouldn’t get judged for that
I love your accent. I can hear the yuroba in it (sorry if I’m wrong about the tribe) and the American accent that glasses right over it. Your tone is so bold and it reminds me a lot of mine. I love the switching… it just makes me feel like there’s more that makes you you than I be sound of your voice but at the same time it’s your voice that gives you your power…. So inspiring ❤ love you Sofi
Dare I say that we’re not loud enough. So many of the topics that you brought up I’ve been thinking about for some time now.
Sexuality and religious aspects. The fact that Africa is psychologically governed by Shaaaamme? It feels so good finally have the lexicon to articulate it. Wow. You have a beautiful mind. Mad respect to you Sofi. From one African to another.
In my personal experience, most people publicly hate on things that they privately yearn for.
I have a whole lot to say honestly, but imma keep it short.
If you listen to what people say, you honestly won't be able to live your life
so please live your lie whichever way you choose. That is literally Happiness
Thank you so much sofi, this is the more reason why i followed you in the first place. The authenticity and genuineness is what keeps me and i'll forever be an O.G SUBSCRIBER
I’m so glad you brought up shame, I was LITERALLY just talking about this the other day. The day africans as a whole are released from shame, is the day we move forward 😅😭
You should read “Sexuality and The Black Church: A Womanist Perspective,” by Kelly Brown Douglas. You are right. It should not matter, but there is a reason why homophobia exists and our sexuality is de-humanized. Everything that we have been taught about sexuality is more about controlling the masses than it is about ethics and morality. Even your most educated people don’t understand this because there is so much shame and taboo around the human body.
Thank you for starting this important conversation & articulating it so clearly. The level of shame and sexual repression in the African community is honestly so heartbreaking. You just gave someone the courage to honor themselves bc of this❤
Apart from the sexuality aspect
It’s feels so hard sometimes to express yourself because you feel people won’t even understand where you come from
Oddity I was crying with a bowl of popcorn listening to this episode, I feel oppressed in my own country and I can't even afford to live, that's what gives me courage to work twice as hard, I always quote Billie eilish -lovely "I hope one day I make it out of here, Even if it takes a day or a thousand years" no one deserves to live in fear like this
My Mom told me from a young age to mind my own business, and i go about life accepting people exactly the way they are. Respect ❤
I was here for the tea. But as a counselor and first generation American love this!!!! We need to be having these conversations ❤❤
Those who know already knew and who cares, live your life to the fullest, that's what really matters.
Wow you are such an intelligent woman. I am in awe of you. Just amazing Sofi. Thank you dooo much for this.
Sofi thank you so much for this episode for starting your podcast everything. This topic isn’t only for the queer communities it’s for the people that are different who don’t associate with the societal norms especially here in Nigeria
I really love this episode thank you Sofi😊❤️❤️
Great episode. I always ask people, "Why do you care? Is it affecting your life in any way?"
Just subscribed from this episode, I’m a Nigerian mum and I was brought up to mind my business. Never shame anyone especially when you are not walking in their shoes. I understand how you don’t want to be perceived a certain way especially by your community (Nigeria) but youll be shocked how enlightened most people are these days. Especially the ones online… you did great having this uncomfortable conversation… be you! Everyone else will adjust or be fine ❤
This is the type of conversation I expected and here it is. We really need to be loud 📢 Period 🤌
The Theme is well deserved "AM I TOO LOUD" ❤❤💯
I think this is an important conversation to have, especially within the African community. I think a lot of heterosexual people don’t bring up this topic either because they’re homophobic themselves or they believe I don’t hate gay people so I’m good. But we actually need y’all to speak up for us because that’s how we start changing peoples minds. The only thing I would push back on (even though I’m sure you didn’t mean it this way) is the whole “who cares” conversation, I think this idea of who cares who you have in your bed whittles down our sexuality to just s*x meanwhile it affects so much more than that. I think it’ll be cool to have Amara the Lesbian as a guest, she’s nigerian and lesbian and recently left Nigeria, if you want to open up the conversation that would be a cool way to do it. (She was also bald for a few years so y’all have that in common 😂)
I enjoyed this so much…love you Sophie🥰
for this conversation, for me its my religion that comes first, i am a muslim and ideally, same sex relationship is just a waste of time, not just for raising a family but just between both parties but where's the fun there....... yes i went to a boarding school too and i understood these things from tender ages but no for me but it doesn't really affect how ill have dealings with gay, i respect boundaries alot.
sofi, regardless of what you want or choose for yourself, it doesn't change how i have seen and liked what you do but i don't see you as a gay sha
Mehn ❤✨
Your a strong woman oddity
I haven't reached the point where you answered the question, but the real answer does not matter to me. Like you said, it is your business and I whole heartedly feel that everyone should follow their heart and just make sure not to hurt anyone. That is all
Wait this is too good omg
You being gay for change anything. I love you regardless of your sexuality and love interests. have always been a huge fan
Many comedy skits where men dress as women seem to lack respect for the female experience. It’s often just for laughs, reducing women's lives and struggles to stereotypes and punchlines. This really should spark a deeper conversation-why do so many comedians think the easiest way to succeed is by mocking women? As a society, we need to ask ourselves what it says about us when we find humor in something that diminishes and trivializes women's realities.
Loveee this episode!
Like let people be themselves!
Pretty Good. You won't get cancelled. There are podcast way more outlandish. This is not even a heavy topic Sofi. You are good ya dig??😊
You are amazing, and I hope you keep being you, regardless. I pray for success in this new channel and I what ever you put your hands into. Love you ❤
I think people wanting to know may not necessarily to be intrusive but some may be looking for that virtual community they may or may not find in you that they’ve not had the bliss of having in real life. It is necessary for these conversations so that it gives grace to black Africans who are imprisoned in a life that only shame awaits them should they dare be themselves unapologetically.
2 episodes down and baabbbyyy!! Top Tier Podcast!!!! 💜💜 #betooloud
I really think white colonialism is what brought shame, fear, and violence to queerness.
Wen you like someone you like them irrespective of their sexuality,dont care live ur life dear love you so much more❤
I'm glad you're calling out African countries. The fact that we'll jail people for who they want to love in a consenting adult relationship but won't jail pedophiles or rapists is wild
Watching this episode now is shifting my mind and reasoning about my life decisions ❤😢
The type of conversations we need to be having!!!!!
Am listening and making sure your messages are heard
Thank you so much
Before I go any further, respect the respect pleeeeeaaaassseeee!!!
This episode just validated my thought process 😊.
At least I’m not alone in this world Minding the Business that pays me and associating with people for being humans without getting worked up about their orientation and personal preferences 😊😊
My problem is all this people judging nd being homophobic are are evil than the people they are even condemning,one should have right to there sexual choice who others decided to sleep with should never be another person business,let everyone be their unapologetic self.love this conversation ❤
You are you and that’s more than enough ❤❤❤
Listen to this on Spotify and I had to come here to watch to get your facial expressions to everything you said… whether you are gay or not the few people who loves you will always do regardless I mean we are humans and we don’t get to choose who we are attracted to or who we have feelings for it comes naturally like you said as Africans we tend to fight that spirit of sexually getting attracted to a girl just because of what the society will say or do…you see you’re the most vulnerable and confident person ever to come out and say stuffs like this because a lot of people shy away from this topic and there’s more to this…. regardless I have a different opinion about this gay topic
Respect other people and respect their decisions
It’s the heeeh for me 😂… most, of our questions to others could be intrusive. I just hope that on every life issue, rather than worrying about the opinions of others (which they’ll have either way) we sincerely remain true to God and ourselves ✌🏾
And yea I did wait for the tea - very intrusive 🙈😂
Thanks Sophie ❤️
Damn! Sophie is so smart 🥺
Great vlog. Nice interaction between you and Donald. Looking forward to more
Sofie we love you regardless ❤ may your light always shine bright 🥰
Exactly!!! 35:43
Who made all the rules, why is everything a certain way and the society just wants us to accept it just like that without having to question anything... Someone finally said something about this shit. Cuz at the end of the day everybody has their perspective on how they view things and I think we should all be able to accommodate everyone just the way they are and not having to judge them or feel like they're wrong cuz we don't agree with their perspective.
Everything you have said. I have had to deal with living here in NC. The southern states, or "Bible Belt," are so judgmental of how other people live their lives. At the same time, they would be doing things behind closed doors that would have them being judged. I joined the Air Force when I was 19, in 1997. I ended up in Las Vegas. That was the best experience of my life. Being able to travel outside the US in the Air Force. Have my eyes open to the world and meet new people from different backgrounds.
Everything about survival in Nigeria just revolves around shame
Existing as a man or woman, you have to do things that won't put your family into shame
We barely get to live life as our authentic self
You actually answered the question
It shouldn’t be anyone’s business truly as long as there are 2 consenting adults!
Hey Sofi. This good topic I will listen. Less typing. Dont want to miss anything 😂. 14 yrs in prison? Wow. Is it not becoming more accepted in Africa? I ask because I watch a lot of Nigerian and South African movies and it’s becoming more prevalent in movies with more gay men and lesbian women; so is it more accepted in the African society? Sofi you have answered the question. You have already had likes towards men or women. You are attracted or like ppl whether man or woman and yes. Confusing to some but some will get it. I admire the beautiful Sofi the influencer/content creator, actress, motivational speaker, fashionista , entrepreneur. Your or anyone’s sexual orientation is their business. Doesn’t take away from your many skills or talents. But yes there are many phobic ppl that may feel differently. I’m older 60 next year , grandmother of 3 and I go with the flow and love and accept family and friends for who they are to me, not who they love. All I need you to do is be yourself, LOUD!!!🤗❤️🙏🏼
31:43 A lot of people can bring up the “Family name “ “ Family Image” “ what would people think” like who cares😩 let’s live our lives the way we want
I’m a Nigerian Igbo girl who loves piercings and wears only black and sometimes I question my sexuality I can’t do something’s cause I’m not financially stable to leave my parents house🥺 it’s just sad
👏 love her
People need to understand that sexuality is not a person’s whole being. There are so many bits to a person. People should look or focus on other things In people. Why do you see someone and the important thing for you is who they sleep with?
Here is my very brief takeaway from this episode, combined with a few thoughts that outline principles I am rooted in and live by.
Keep an open mind, approach people and have conversations with a desire to understand, regardless of if you agree with them or not. Agreeing or disagreeing is not necessarily always important. I truly believe that prioritizing understanding can and will "take you places" that simply agreeing or disagreeing won't. Beyond that, lead with love and respect. Don't be too quick to judge others, especially harshly, especially by standards that you can't live up to. Simply put, don't be a judgemental. I think that human beings are inherently judgmental, but I also think that we can all be intentional about not passing judgement indiscriminately, at every turn.
When it is all said and done, we are all imperfect souls who despite feeling lost sometimes, are on this amazing adventure called life. Support others as they navigate life and attempt to discover who they authentically are and the impact they want to have on their friends, family, community, and maybe the world at large.
Love wins, shame doesn't. That is my ramble for the night!
Extremely proud of you Ronke, aka Sofi, aka the one and only Odditty ❤
Proud of you Sofi 🫶🏾
I believe when read, interpreted and followed correctly religion is at least 99% the same. You then start to realise we serve the same Spiritual Being. But anyways that a topic for another day.
For me the main thing said in this episode was WETIN CONCERN YOU Like personally I just don’t care. I’m thinking of making money and I should still be thinking about why Jamiu is gay or why grace is a lesbian or why do some people all Jesus God. Oh why muslims can’t keep dogs. E no really concern any is. Just live your life, make money and have fun
You're a very smart and brilliant woman sofi❤
To be really honest, I don’t think our society is ready to have this conversation.
Realities are different - cultures are different. Especially for Africans.
It’s only like 1 in 10 African (Nigerian) kids that grow up questioning the norm. Upbringings are reeeaaally different.
I think more people that we think are part of a spectrum and not allowing this conversation to happen is not allowing them to even explore the possibility of them being part of the spectrum. I am also think about people who have ADHD or autism or who are neurodivergent here...
It’s just interesting because I think the younger the generations, the more enlightenment. And it’s part of why people complain about social media being ‘too much’. It was the major channel “Westernization” was introduced to our region.
It’s why the older generations would always hate. They didn’t have all of these enlightenment. There was no avenue to have these conversations.
I can’t even imagine seeing my parents talk about sexuality right now. Let’s not even talk about religion. Lol.
Well done Sofi! 😊
Allah’s guidance always
Editing on IG love it😂😂😂
Jah & Jahes love siSTAR. I would like to see you talk about the problems of black folks there is: immigration, poverty, and the legacies of slavery and colonialism. I kinda knew that you were not LGBTQAI because you did a pregnancy test and you have a man who keeps your puppy. Thanks for addressing domestic violence problems in black relationships. Blessed love.#1804#Ayiti#ToutMounseMoun#AbolishCPS#AbolishPoverty#DefundFosterCare#ProChoice#RawVeganforLife#HR40NOW#220YearsFREE#FreeAyiti#BwaKale#LandBackNoW
❤❤❤
We need to ask more questions!
If you went home to Nigeria to visit your family, would you be afraid? Not of your family's reaction, but of the Nigerian government...of being arrested or detained? You have not actually answered the question, as that was not the point of the podcast, but would the question of it put you in any danger in Nigeria?
I was literally sitting patiently waiting for this to drop 😩😩😩, I'm loving this podcast 🙂❤️❤️🤭🤭
First one hereeee🎉
🎉🎉🎉
Are there gay practising Muslims in America ? I ask bcos I haven’t seen any. Also because the religion itself with its many do’s and don’ts and some people following the Quran will have issues with it.
And yes at the end of the day, it really is no ones business what their sexuality is, people shouldn’t get judged for that
♥️♥️♥️
😇
I love your accent. I can hear the yuroba in it (sorry if I’m wrong about the tribe) and the American accent that glasses right over it. Your tone is so bold and it reminds me a lot of mine. I love the switching… it just makes me feel like there’s more that makes you you than I be sound of your voice but at the same time it’s your voice that gives you your power…. So inspiring ❤ love you Sofi
1:10 🤭❤️❤️
so are you GAY?
Did you listen at all..?
I almost fell down on my way to the comments section😂
They'd bring up reproduction n end of humanity.