S1 hurts because I get the why of their conflicted feelings. You don’t want anyone getting hurt… but you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t. It’s infuriating that parents put their children in such difficult situations like this where they have to be the bearer of bad news. Remember hearing a similar story where OP was basically put in a position of having to tell their father about their mother’s affair… he took his own life a week after OP told him everything. Everyone blamed OP for the father’s death and OP ended up taking their own life a month later. I honestly haven’t cried that hard for someone on Reddit before.
Story 1: OP, remember this: your parents’ divorce IS NOT your fault, because your mother’s actions destroyed the family. However, the deterioration of your relationship with your father IS your fault. You are not the victim. You were complicit and knew that what your mother did was wrong. You did have a choice. The choices were either you be loyal to the truth and tell your father, or you continue the lie and suffer dire consequences for it. You picked the latter, so it’s no one’s fault but your own. Also, remember one more thing: it was not the first time your mom cheated. It was just the first time you caught her. Edit: A lie is like cancer: the more it’s ignored, the more it spreads until there is no way to cure it.
- You loved your dad so much you wanted him to stay with a cheater? Your dad can't trust you anymore because you are not trustworthy and what he needs after his wife and your betrayal is people in his life that he can trust. You don't qualify.
Exactly. This woman left your child with a man she had just broken up with and who had just threatened their dog. But this smooth brain got her dog out of that situation and decided “My dog is no longer in harms way, that’s everyone I care about. Hopefully he’s not going to do this EXACTLY SAME THING with my nephew, but if he does lol not my baby.” She jumped out of the car and left your child there to be killed, I don’t think that’s anything you can come back from
i know op in story 1 is an idiot, but i can’t blame them, idk. they shouldn’t have lied to their father, but, i also understand that breaking news like that is so hard and the fallout is even harder.
There's no replacement for truth. However well intentioned OP might have been, they destroyed their father's trust. No apology, no act, no gesture will ever change that
Story 1 op, at which point do you tell your mother the business? You wanna beg your daddy to forgive your betrayal, but you still aint telling your mom the truth? Why dont you grow a spine and set her straight 1st, before expecting your dad to do all the work youre responsible for?
For people yelling that OP should have told her father everything that was happening, do you even know how hard that is? When someone you know and love betray someone else, and you’re caught in the middle of it. It’s the same premise where parents protect their R*pist/criminal children… even though the mother is a bad person, she might not have been that to her daughter before, cementing a deep bond of love between them thats hard to break. The mother is 100% at blame here, firstly for cheating, then manipulating her daughter into losing her dad, then having the gall to be angry at her? Thats despicable! The daughter should have told her dad yes, but i guarantee that if you were put in her position, you would have done something similar!
@@augustrnning7823 Almost everything you said before the mother is wrong, is also wrong. The fact is, the mother wronged her entire family. The child found out and kept her secret. That means they chose the side of the wrong parent by doing so. And then when crap hit the fan, the situation simply became worse. By the childs own statement, their father is a good man. If they came clean when they should have, their relationship with father wouldnt have suffered. Just like the brothers didnt. In the end, the childs choice ruined the relationship with both parents, instead of just the bad parent.
Story 1: I mean, logically, OP is in the wrong for not telling his dad, but on the other hand, if you have a good relationship with both your parents and you found out one was doing something wrong against the other, it would really be hard to expose that parent to the other one. I highly doubt anyone who has a close relationship with both of their parents would say they would make the easy, logical choice to expose one parent to the other because, in the back of their mind, they will always think they have to be loyal to both of them. That’s why I can understand why OP made that decision.
Not to mention how manipulative the mother is. It can be very hard to have any real defenses against manipulation like that when you’ve been living with it from birth.
Ironically my parent taught me to do the right thing even when nobody’s looking,so snitching on my mom wasn’t even a conflicting thought ,because aside from them teaching me honesty,they made it clear if I fucked up with the law they’d wouldn’t bail me out and would let me rot in jail as long as I deserved , I took that to mean if you fuck up expect consequences.
By not telling his father he chose his mother, he didnt even give an ultimatum to his mom to come clean or he'd tell. This is like an eyewitness to a crime not comming forward until 5 years after an innocent person has been in jail.
So far, there are only a few good things about being an adult. But one of those is not having to improvise places for doing stuff. No more “back seat of the car” sex, or the stairwell of the dorms, because we both have roommates. I have an apartment, with actual furniture in it. Don’t even have to fit two people onto a narrow-ass mattress, either. I can sprawl out, whomever I’m with can sprawl out, and there’s still room for the cats. Even if I got a room for the night, it’d be a hotel, not a motel. Big-ass jacuzzi tub. Valet parking. And I’ll get some loyalty points when I’m done.
Story 1 is way too similar to my own situation Except I found out my dad was / propably is cheating on my mom First found out when I was in 5 grade it fucked with my head so bad I went from laughing and joking to a kid who barely talks with anyone Mom found out when I was in 7 grade and I couldn't tell her that I knew until I was getting ready to leave for college one day . They never got divorced but they were damn close to it , I found the text chains both deleted a few days later about hiring lawyers . I never could stay in a relationship for long because I always punished myself thinking I shouldn't. My college life is about to come to an end they both are happy and still together but deep down I know that dad is still with other woman and mom knows about it Cheating doesn't just fuck with your partner but it does worse for your kids idk how many times I went on top of my school thinking about ending it all but couldn't
I get Op's father was hurt but cut all contact with one of his children and keep it with the other sounds hard to swallow, If I had been Ops father, I would had put the entire fault on his ex-wife.
Yeah I thought that as well. Like I know she fucked up big time, but the father could probably have understood the terrible position OP's mom put her in if he gave her a chance to explain. I feel like OP would have turned into a great support system for him if he gave her the chance.
@RobinSiwula-w4h it's not that black and white though. I've seen stories where a child willingly and maliciously aids a parent in an affair, and if that were OP, then obviously she would be beyond forgiveness to any reasonable person. OP in this story doesn't fit that, though. There's no malice in what she did; only cowardice. She was afraid of hurting her dad, of breaking the family apart, and of retaliation from her mom. I get being pissed that it took a year to come forward, but she still came forward. She concealed it because she was afraid, not because she supported it. That's where I see some nuance.
story1, smh, a grown man with less maturity than a child. he has every right to be upset but he's putting the same exact amount of blame on OP that her mom is putting too, they are equally bad in this scenario with relation to OP
@johnnyhall9154 that says a lot about you as a person. you'd have a child, who you are expected to put yourself on the line for, but abandon them over something that has nothing to do with them? they are a child, they did not ask to get into the middle of that situation, and its their every right to stay out of their parents relationship. he chose his own feelings over the feelings of his child
@maggy-d9j OP is in college, a legal adult probably around 20 to 21 based on when they graduated and got a job. They had every oppurtunity to help their father. Says more about you that you are trying to blame the victim instead of an accomplice. And op was an accomplice
Youre dead wrong. The father alone is the victim. The child, an adult mind you, is an accomplice. The father has every right to feel betrayed by his child. I cannot believe how you think the child is blameless and the father is at fault. You must be a woman. Cause only women in the western world would think like that. They cheat and the victim should pay too. Wow.
1) YTA op i hope you find no love, and if you did i hope you are cheated on as karma, you betrayed him, by allowing your father, a good and kind man, husband, and father, to be used and cheated on, you were on her side, you knew she was cheating, for a YEAR, even though you said it was a one time thing? what is your definition of one time? when they stop? who knows how long and thought it wouldn't destroy the family, her actions may have cause a divorce you only delated the inevitable letting your father be cheated on, you are horrible 2) if any of my blood family did that, they would lose the family part then the blood, don’t defend her actions, cut contact, you are delusional, even a doormat for believing this
S1 hurts because I get the why of their conflicted feelings. You don’t want anyone getting hurt… but you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t. It’s infuriating that parents put their children in such difficult situations like this where they have to be the bearer of bad news. Remember hearing a similar story where OP was basically put in a position of having to tell their father about their mother’s affair… he took his own life a week after OP told him everything. Everyone blamed OP for the father’s death and OP ended up taking their own life a month later. I honestly haven’t cried that hard for someone on Reddit before.
Do you have a link to that story or maybe a title? I’d like to read it.
Story 1: OP, remember this: your parents’ divorce IS NOT your fault, because your mother’s actions destroyed the family. However, the deterioration of your relationship with your father IS your fault. You are not the victim. You were complicit and knew that what your mother did was wrong. You did have a choice. The choices were either you be loyal to the truth and tell your father, or you continue the lie and suffer dire consequences for it. You picked the latter, so it’s no one’s fault but your own. Also, remember one more thing: it was not the first time your mom cheated. It was just the first time you caught her.
Edit: A lie is like cancer: the more it’s ignored, the more it spreads until there is no way to cure it.
I don't understand people who hide the truth because they want to keep the peace and don't want to break their family apart.
OP knew what they saw, knew it continued, knew the trip was a rendezvous, and kept quiet. OP betrayed their dad. No other way about it.
- You loved your dad so much you wanted him to stay with a cheater? Your dad can't trust you anymore because you are not trustworthy and what he needs after his wife and your betrayal is people in his life that he can trust. You don't qualify.
i feel like people are being way too harsh on first OP. Like yeah they messed up, but that is a super difficult position to be in.
This is why you can't stay silent when you know something that important and not telling the truth.
Story 2: OP was as delusional as her sister. That was not the type of stuff to explain away while making excuses for her sister.
Amen to that. My sister would be dead to me after that.
Exactly. This woman left your child with a man she had just broken up with and who had just threatened their dog. But this smooth brain got her dog out of that situation and decided “My dog is no longer in harms way, that’s everyone I care about. Hopefully he’s not going to do this EXACTLY SAME THING with my nephew, but if he does lol not my baby.” She jumped out of the car and left your child there to be killed, I don’t think that’s anything you can come back from
i know op in story 1 is an idiot, but i can’t blame them, idk. they shouldn’t have lied to their father, but, i also understand that breaking news like that is so hard and the fallout is even harder.
Op is scum
Oop is a doormat I would've took pictures and sang like a canary to my dad.
So you are a coward too
@@laquietagray9323😂💯 be out here in my church clothes sanging l
There's no replacement for truth. However well intentioned OP might have been, they destroyed their father's trust. No apology, no act, no gesture will ever change that
Story 1 op, at which point do you tell your mother the business? You wanna beg your daddy to forgive your betrayal, but you still aint telling your mom the truth? Why dont you grow a spine and set her straight 1st, before expecting your dad to do all the work youre responsible for?
Story 1: OP was a fool like I get it the dilemma but he stewed and should have told immediately or at some point
A YEAR?! No wonder the dad hated your guys for a while...
I can’t blame the dad. OP kept it a secret for a year
Neither OP or dad are at fault. They both put themselves first. It’s a very normal position that lots of people take.
@@Solkard OP is pretty much an accomplice.
@ In effect, yeah. His motivation was to not to help his mom, but to avoid inconvenience for himself though. You see it all the time these days.
Damn Skippy
@Solkard OP is at fault, she allowed the affair for over a year.
Last story: op sister is one of those people who keeps getting themselves in trouble and dragging other people around her into the mud with her.
STORY 1:
You are not the victim, you are the accomplice in hiding his mom affairs.. not 1 week or a month... But for a year
S2 what the hell is this mother leaving
Her baby just to have a FUN night
What is that, damn someone needs to
Call CPS YESTERDAY
Op should have told her dad the truth about her mom cheating story 1
For people yelling that OP should have told her father everything that was happening, do you even know how hard that is?
When someone you know and love betray someone else, and you’re caught in the middle of it. It’s the same premise where parents protect their R*pist/criminal children… even though the mother is a bad person, she might not have been that to her daughter before, cementing a deep bond of love between them thats hard to break.
The mother is 100% at blame here, firstly for cheating, then manipulating her daughter into losing her dad, then having the gall to be angry at her? Thats despicable! The daughter should have told her dad yes, but i guarantee that if you were put in her position, you would have done something similar!
As a college student shouldn't it be common sense at that age that cheating is bad
What adult thinks it better for their dad to be cheated on and lied to for a year to "protect" him
No I would of did the right thing not all of us are weak
@@augustrnning7823 Almost everything you said before the mother is wrong, is also wrong. The fact is, the mother wronged her entire family. The child found out and kept her secret. That means they chose the side of the wrong parent by doing so. And then when crap hit the fan, the situation simply became worse. By the childs own statement, their father is a good man. If they came clean when they should have, their relationship with father wouldnt have suffered. Just like the brothers didnt. In the end, the childs choice ruined the relationship with both parents, instead of just the bad parent.
skill issue. it's easy.
Story 1:
I mean, logically, OP is in the wrong for not telling his dad, but on the other hand, if you have a good relationship with both your parents and you found out one was doing something wrong against the other, it would really be hard to expose that parent to the other one. I highly doubt anyone who has a close relationship with both of their parents would say they would make the easy, logical choice to expose one parent to the other because, in the back of their mind, they will always think they have to be loyal to both of them. That’s why I can understand why OP made that decision.
Nah, no amount of loyalty would make me lie about something so heinous. Birthed me or not, scum is scum.
Not to mention how manipulative the mother is.
It can be very hard to have any real defenses against manipulation like that when you’ve been living with it from birth.
Ironically my parent taught me to do the right thing even when nobody’s looking,so snitching on my mom wasn’t even a conflicting thought ,because aside from them teaching me honesty,they made it clear if I fucked up with the law they’d wouldn’t bail me out and would let me rot in jail as long as I deserved , I took that to mean if you fuck up expect consequences.
@@farhaanali5311 Agreed.
By not telling his father he chose his mother, he didnt even give an ultimatum to his mom to come clean or he'd tell. This is like an eyewitness to a crime not comming forward until 5 years after an innocent person has been in jail.
Aye in story 2 did she just admit that her sister cares more about a dog than her own nephew
This is op's fault
Agreed. OP made his bed, now, he has to lie in it.😒
Agree
So far, there are only a few good things about being an adult. But one of those is not having to improvise places for doing stuff. No more “back seat of the car” sex, or the stairwell of the dorms, because we both have roommates. I have an apartment, with actual furniture in it. Don’t even have to fit two people onto a narrow-ass mattress, either. I can sprawl out, whomever I’m with can sprawl out, and there’s still room for the cats. Even if I got a room for the night, it’d be a hotel, not a motel. Big-ass jacuzzi tub. Valet parking. And I’ll get some loyalty points when I’m done.
"And nothing of value was lost."
Oh dear, how sad; nevermind.
I would go no contact with the sister and anyone who side with the sister
You were in college… you’re old enough to know right from wrong… you are sleeping in the bed you made.
Story 2: sister is a coward and not a real woman
Story 1 is way too similar to my own situation
Except I found out my dad was / propably is cheating on my mom
First found out when I was in 5 grade it fucked with my head so bad I went from laughing and joking to a kid who barely talks with anyone
Mom found out when I was in 7 grade and I couldn't tell her that I knew until I was getting ready to leave for college one day . They never got divorced but they were damn close to it , I found the text chains both deleted a few days later about hiring lawyers .
I never could stay in a relationship for long because I always punished myself thinking I shouldn't.
My college life is about to come to an end they both are happy and still together but deep down I know that dad is still with other woman and mom knows about it
Cheating doesn't just fuck with your partner but it does worse for your kids idk how many times I went on top of my school thinking about ending it all but couldn't
Also it's not like dad is the bread winner in this dynamic
My mom earns a lot more than him but he still cheated
Story 1 Op is the scapegoat
No she knew and didn't tell father.
I get Op's father was hurt but cut all contact with one of his children and keep it with the other sounds hard to swallow, If I had been Ops father, I would had put the entire fault on his ex-wife.
Yeah I thought that as well. Like I know she fucked up big time, but the father could probably have understood the terrible position OP's mom put her in if he gave her a chance to explain. I feel like OP would have turned into a great support system for him if he gave her the chance.
Op knows right from wrong they screwed up I don't blame the dad he was justified
@RobinSiwula-w4h it's not that black and white though. I've seen stories where a child willingly and maliciously aids a parent in an affair, and if that were OP, then obviously she would be beyond forgiveness to any reasonable person. OP in this story doesn't fit that, though. There's no malice in what she did; only cowardice. She was afraid of hurting her dad, of breaking the family apart, and of retaliation from her mom. I get being pissed that it took a year to come forward, but she still came forward. She concealed it because she was afraid, not because she supported it. That's where I see some nuance.
Please teach your kids to own their screw ups and be better. Thus preventing shit like this before it starts and wondering “what went wrong”
Story 1 has been posted here before
OP1 is a moron, shouldve told him immediately, but atleast at some point jesus.
EDIT: Nvm definitely a fake story
Fake or not op still a coward
We don’t know if it fake or nor
story1, smh, a grown man with less maturity than a child. he has every right to be upset but he's putting the same exact amount of blame on OP that her mom is putting too, they are equally bad in this scenario with relation to OP
Nah, if I found out my wife got my child involved and that child kept it from me for months, I'd be done too
@johnnyhall9154 that says a lot about you as a person. you'd have a child, who you are expected to put yourself on the line for, but abandon them over something that has nothing to do with them? they are a child, they did not ask to get into the middle of that situation, and its their every right to stay out of their parents relationship. he chose his own feelings over the feelings of his child
@maggy-d9j OP is in college, a legal adult probably around 20 to 21 based on when they graduated and got a job. They had every oppurtunity to help their father. Says more about you that you are trying to blame the victim instead of an accomplice. And op was an accomplice
Youre dead wrong. The father alone is the victim. The child, an adult mind you, is an accomplice. The father has every right to feel betrayed by his child. I cannot believe how you think the child is blameless and the father is at fault. You must be a woman. Cause only women in the western world would think like that. They cheat and the victim should pay too. Wow.
Women taking accountability challenge: impossible
1) YTA op i hope you find no love, and if you did i hope you are cheated on as karma, you betrayed him, by allowing your father, a good and kind man, husband, and father, to be used and cheated on, you were on her side, you knew she was cheating, for a YEAR, even though you said it was a one time thing? what is your definition of one time? when they stop? who knows how long and thought it wouldn't destroy the family, her actions may have cause a divorce you only delated the inevitable letting your father be cheated on, you are horrible
2) if any of my blood family did that, they would lose the family part then the blood, don’t defend her actions, cut contact, you are delusional, even a doormat for believing this