ACOLYTE Episode 6 ... Seriously WTF are we Watching

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  • Опубліковано 1 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,7 тис.

  • @michaelboots6236
    @michaelboots6236 4 місяці тому +50

    What can I say except: "fix me mommy!"

    • @Alteori
      @Alteori  4 місяці тому +15

      💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

  • @darthhavokk701
    @darthhavokk701 4 місяці тому +883

    Objectifying the guy for the women's pleasure yet they condemn the opposite, hypocrites.

    • @reggie6230
      @reggie6230 4 місяці тому +35

      Never underestimate what some chick's will do to get a man to look at her. What this all boils down to imo.

    • @MamaMOB
      @MamaMOB 4 місяці тому

      And they're only sexually objectifying one type of man. The type that gay men are into. Slender men. We could use some more Jason Momoa thank you very much.

    • @MamaMOB
      @MamaMOB 4 місяці тому

      ​​@@reggie6230I don't think the lesbian wants men to look at her. I'm pretty sure what she's trying to do is to get straight women to look at her show that's about lesbians. Unfortunately she's not using men that straight women are attracted to. I mean over the age of 25 and for longer than one night.

    • @chaz9808
      @chaz9808 4 місяці тому +24

      Yep big time hypocrites

    • @MamaMOB
      @MamaMOB 4 місяці тому +40

      Just to be clear I don't see any problem with sexualizing either men or women. Human beings are in fact sex objects. And there's nothing wrong with that as long as everybody's okay with it. The problem is when outsiders complain. If you don't like it don't watch it like we're not watching this.

  • @mysteriousheroinexalter
    @mysteriousheroinexalter 4 місяці тому +262

    Acolyte fans swear this is some deep philosophical slice of life gray story.

    • @KRobinson-ko1ne
      @KRobinson-ko1ne 4 місяці тому +14

      Not everything needs to be/should be reinterpreted with morally ambiguous mind set
      The prequels may have been flawed but while the OT confirms the allegory of altruism that shapes the lore of the Jedi the prequels are meant to confirm the potency of the force and the consequences of working against it.
      The emotional conditioning may not be desirable from a layman’s perspective but it’s a necessity to avoid personal corruption.
      Theres no gray Jedi: there’s no force user that can wield both sides of the force with no consequences.
      Personal balance within is a third party concept: to bring balance to the force is to dethrone the dark side, the bastardization of the force

    • @zzodysseuszz
      @zzodysseuszz 4 місяці тому +11

      @@KRobinson-ko1ne what are you even talking about? Not only does this not make sense with the op comment but that it isn’t even true. According to George, the force is about balance. Temporary versus permanent satisfaction/pleasure. Gray Jedi are Jedi’s like mace windu who are equal parts dark and light.

    • @MrPGC137
      @MrPGC137 4 місяці тому +2

      Sad part is, they're probably telling the truth; for them, this _IS_ a 'slice of life'...(in between trips to the convenience-store to buy cheap box wine every now & then of course.)

    • @KRobinson-ko1ne
      @KRobinson-ko1ne 4 місяці тому +2

      I’m pretty sure Mace Windu is by no means a “grey Jedi”
      George made it pretty clear but balance in force was and even if he didn’t he has certainly insisted on the definition of balance being the dark side dethroned
      It doesn’t mean internal balance between light and dark like a lot of people want and it certainly doesn’t mean to have an equal amount of dark vs light force users in existence like a lot stil think

    • @DarkSide_Gaming21338
      @DarkSide_Gaming21338 4 місяці тому +3

      @@KRobinson-ko1neexcept we never see that concept in the og trilogy it was only the prequels that talked about balance to the force and the prophecy. A prophecy that the Jedi thought would mean the eradication of the sith along with the darkside of the force. Not to mention in the clone was cartoon on Mortis which talked about how you can’t have one side without the other. The father was litterly the incarnation of keeping a balance between both sides.
      Plus on top of all that the main theme and idea behind the Jedi believing that the prophecy ment all sith die and Dark Side goes away was to show off their flaws. It was to show how far they had fallen from what they should have been by denying both parts of the force. This ultimately showed itself in the fall of Anakin who had gone through so much as a young boy and rather than teaching him to control his feelings they told him to ignore them and not worry. When he was faced with lose after losing his mom which he could’ve saved if the Jedi would have let him they told him to not mourn or be sad but to accept what would happen. Grant it the Jedi meant to do good and help but once again it shows the flaws in their ideology and the perspective they have on the force itself.
      So where are you basing this claim off of? In the og we see Luke using both light and dark but unlike his father he does not fall. He is not by any means a jedi of old and we see that expanded on in legends (which is still canon to me compared to disneys shit) but even aside for the old EU Luke doesn’t deny the dark side he just makes a choice not to give into it…

  • @MrDe4dGuy34
    @MrDe4dGuy34 4 місяці тому +924

    "'Wanna hold my lightsaber?' said Qimir as his naked, muscled body glistened from the ocean's cool waters. Osha was shook." That is how I imagine the script was written. XD

    • @Virtualblueart
      @Virtualblueart 4 місяці тому +135

      Yeah, it's got that fanfic pron vibe.😂

    • @gunn25
      @gunn25 4 місяці тому +61

      Sadly the actress playing Osha/Mae cannot act any emotion whatsoever. She's a Keanu Reeves disciple.

    • @themurmeli88
      @themurmeli88 4 місяці тому +112

      "She woke up on a strange planet, and she knew, she needed to get off...
      ...and I'm not talking about the planet...."
      "...Which was a clear OSHA violation, and she sent straight to horny jail."

    • @vespenegas261
      @vespenegas261 4 місяці тому +29

      @@themurmeli88 BONK!

    • @neonxraven99
      @neonxraven99 4 місяці тому +25

      @@MrDe4dGuy34 lore accurate wattpad writing 😂

  • @aicek
    @aicek 4 місяці тому +395

    when headland said the series would explore the seduction of the dark side I didn't expect it this way😂

    • @Mr.E_Bodhako
      @Mr.E_Bodhako 4 місяці тому +49

      little did we know she meant it literally... ._. xD

    • @paulmurgatroyd6372
      @paulmurgatroyd6372 4 місяці тому +16

      Instead it just shows a woman changing her mind when she feels like it.

    • @falxblade1352
      @falxblade1352 4 місяці тому +17

      I didn't either, but in hindsight, I think we should have given her background

    • @MarkLittle-rq2bq
      @MarkLittle-rq2bq 4 місяці тому +24

      She based it off that one line that Obi-Wan said, "Your father was seduced by the Dark Side." Alas, we all now know the showrunner's true capacity as a writer since she put on display her absolute inability to tell the difference between figurative and literal speech.

    • @MamaMOB
      @MamaMOB 4 місяці тому +10

      What's really sad is that would actually be a very interesting series. Because the dark side is in fact seductive. But didn't they already do that with the prequels?

  • @DarkMayhem666
    @DarkMayhem666 5 місяців тому +767

    What’s up with Disney’s Star Wars and sexualizing the Sith guys? First, we got a shirtless Kylo Ren, and now this emo Sith Ezra Miller lookalike is shirtless. What the hell is going on?
    Both Kylo Ren and the Acolyte Sith: ‘Hey, cute Jedi girl, you like my dark side abs? Join the dark side, and I’ll even let you touch them.’
    What the fuck Disney 😂

    • @Alteori
      @Alteori  5 місяців тому +138

      😂😂😂😂

    • @brunofrance4776
      @brunofrance4776 5 місяців тому +131

      It's modern twilight

    • @akira8393
      @akira8393 5 місяців тому +92

      it's the finest hypocrisy you'll ever witness and they know what they're doing

    • @StayFractalesque
      @StayFractalesque 4 місяці тому

      They love to indentify with evil.. remember when they shipped the Babadook and Freddy Kreuger as "allies" of the alphabet people? ..theyre sociopaths, of course theyre gonna relate..

    • @mxvega1097
      @mxvega1097 4 місяці тому

      Check out my Sith helmet rising...

  • @liberator8858
    @liberator8858 4 місяці тому +328

    pls don't judge her or she'll sing again. The Internet cannot withstand such a blow. one of administrators will definitely destroy the server

    • @DiscoFinalBoss
      @DiscoFinalBoss 4 місяці тому +28

      I’m still recovering from the last one.

    • @kyze8284
      @kyze8284 4 місяці тому +19

      That was singing? It looked to me like the worst lip syncing mumble thing I have ever not heard over the loud electronics

    • @marhawkman303
      @marhawkman303 4 місяці тому +13

      @@kyze8284 It was auto-tuned to the part it was no longer recognizable as a human voice.

    • @BrandonScott-mi5pz
      @BrandonScott-mi5pz 4 місяці тому +2

      EXCELLENT WORK. AITEORI SEXUAL THE SITH GUY LOL 😂😂😂😂😂😅😅😅😂😂😂

    • @TheKonnoisseur11
      @TheKonnoisseur11 4 місяці тому +6

      These days I’m not sure if people are serious or trolling

  • @notscullytv
    @notscullytv 5 місяців тому +250

    15:09 OMG did you GUYS NOTICE????? Ok walk with me, this is INSANELY DEEP and COMPLEX. Osha and may not ONLY swapped Asian daddies, they ALSO BOTH TRY TO KILL THEIR NEW ASIAN DADDY BUT DONT, GET IT? Cos they’re twins wooooow.

  • @saddlerrye6725
    @saddlerrye6725 4 місяці тому +149

    "He cannot seem like an alpha male-y, intimidating..."
    Yeah, instead of using his physical prowess to dominate her, he's using his physical... prowess... AND mind games to dominate her. Soooo much better, I can feel it's real love!

    • @crizman7032
      @crizman7032 4 місяці тому +17

      it really is like those shitty Wattpad to movie adaptations

    • @worldeater2414
      @worldeater2414 4 місяці тому +21

      "Instead of seeming like a woman is attracted to the strength and confidence the male character exudes, lets make it seems as creepy, predatory and manipulative as possible! Winestein will be so proud!" Headass directors

    • @miltonfine947
      @miltonfine947 4 місяці тому +6

      She looks around and what does she see? Nothing but open beaches. And of course if she did say no, the answer would be no. But she's not gonna say no. Because of the implication...

  • @tfrye1232
    @tfrye1232 5 місяців тому +606

    There are so many stories you could tell in the Star Wars universe and they made this 🤦‍♂️

    • @Alteori
      @Alteori  5 місяців тому +94

      😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 OMG IM CRYIN

    • @shadowfeinrir97_36
      @shadowfeinrir97_36 4 місяці тому +55

      What else do you expect from Weinstien"s assistant

    • @Markunator
      @Markunator 4 місяці тому +2

      @@shadowfeinrir97_36 She was only his assistant for a year, and she has had zero allegations made against her.

    • @theprowler18
      @theprowler18 4 місяці тому +40

      Just cause there was none from her, doesn’t mean she didn’t play a part in playing ball during that time and using it to leverage her way in the industry to get multiple projects made.
      You be amazed how much goes underreported.

    • @deweyDB
      @deweyDB 4 місяці тому +7

      Diversity and Representation

  • @fbi6179
    @fbi6179 4 місяці тому +235

    Ah yes... The innocent former jedi girl alone with a bad boy CEO sith in a beach.

    • @MasticinaAkicta
      @MasticinaAkicta 4 місяці тому +113

      He got her to his private island. We know where this is going.

    • @milkgotzgames
      @milkgotzgames 4 місяці тому +46

      ​@@MasticinaAkictathey are going the basic enemies to lovers to betrayel Disney sadly don't wanna be original

    • @Alteori
      @Alteori  4 місяці тому +50

      ​@@MasticinaAkicta OMG!!! 😩🧠🫀🫁

    • @Mr.E_Bodhako
      @Mr.E_Bodhako 4 місяці тому +35

      @@MasticinaAkicta it's epstein planet not unknown planet, that's why the name is not recorded

    • @marhawkman303
      @marhawkman303 4 місяці тому +14

      @@Mr.E_Bodhako I mean... this was written by someone who was there... IRL... so..... inspiration from real events maybe?

  • @tyrannozilla
    @tyrannozilla 5 місяців тому +115

    1:23 "The thirst is about to get worse." 🤣Pure gold, Alteori.

  • @TheNuclearGeek
    @TheNuclearGeek 4 місяці тому +107

    Princess Leia in a bikini: ❌
    Naked Male Jedi AND Sith: ✅

    • @SaviorCross
      @SaviorCross 4 місяці тому

      I'll take Leia in a bikini...

    • @Renee84
      @Renee84 4 місяці тому

      Hey what's good for the goose lol....

    • @TheNuclearGeek
      @TheNuclearGeek 4 місяці тому +2

      @@Renee84 If both were equally accepted/celebrated these days I would agree.

    • @givmi_more_w9251
      @givmi_more_w9251 4 місяці тому +8

      The thing is, Leia in a bikini in-universe was clearly depicted as something negative, despicable, to show how depraved Jabba was, that he would do that to such a respected leader like Leia. Also, she got to strangle the evil male that stripped her down with the chain.
      And we got to see her in that bikini for a few seconds, to me, it didn't feel gratuitous.

    • @TheNuclearGeek
      @TheNuclearGeek 4 місяці тому +1

      @@givmi_more_w9251 Oh, I couldn't agree more. My comment wasn't one of what I want or anything, it was to point out the hypocrisy of it all. And, you're right, it only makes it worse when people lose the CONTEXT (as seems to always be the case these days) because everything is viewed so superficially.

  • @derangedhermit7981
    @derangedhermit7981 4 місяці тому +182

    Every time I see the green woman all I can think is its the spawn of Krillin and Piccolo .

    • @yagamifire7861
      @yagamifire7861 4 місяці тому +30

      Krillcolo

    • @Travar1410
      @Travar1410 4 місяці тому +21

      @@yagamifire7861 or.. Piccillin

    • @arm514ve5
      @arm514ve5 4 місяці тому +16

      Jedi master nepo

    • @sarkastodon30
      @sarkastodon30 4 місяці тому +16

      I call her Stretch Yoda.

    • @tabaflip
      @tabaflip 4 місяці тому +5

      ​@@Travar1410 my Piccillin... my Piccillin... I want you to play with my Piccillin

  • @TheiLUMInatedOne
    @TheiLUMInatedOne 4 місяці тому +181

    This guy just killed the girl Osha was supposedly just crushing on in a prior episode! And now she’s crushing on him! WTF is happening right now???
    We’re way beyond not making sense now. Way beyond incompetence. This is intentional. To what end I don’t know, but this can’t be a mistake.

    • @Alteori
      @Alteori  4 місяці тому +69

      I think Jecki was into her but they were friends and she's not even crying over them. This just happened by the way. They were just killed 😂 And she's not disgusted by this person but wants to have sex with him. She says the words out loud so that she can justify that she's a good person but she doesn't mean them.

    • @gamedude412
      @gamedude412 4 місяці тому +23

      @@Alteori Its such bad writing Like if they had kept the twin thing a secret til the swap this would be awesome but Its Just come Off As Lifetime movie About a school shooter/Mass murderer

    • @BiggieTrismegistus
      @BiggieTrismegistus 4 місяці тому +15

      There's no problem some Qimir Qock can't fix.

    • @inavderhexo
      @inavderhexo 4 місяці тому +6

      It's the stupid overused enemies to lovers trope that they are trying to force here. I think their trying to recreate Rey x Kylo ren here

    • @theprowler18
      @theprowler18 4 місяці тому +3

      And like before, we didn't buy this BS in The Last Jedi and we sure as hell aren't buying it now! X)X)X)

  • @R3tr0w1
    @R3tr0w1 5 місяців тому +105

    50 shades of Star Wars

    • @Alteori
      @Alteori  5 місяців тому +24

      💀💀

    • @KRobinson-ko1ne
      @KRobinson-ko1ne 4 місяці тому +6

      It’s more like 50 Shades of Nebulous Disputes

    • @kicknowledgesmith8608
      @kicknowledgesmith8608 4 місяці тому +5

      Feels like 50 Shades mixed with the show on Netflix called You.

    • @SquidgyPidgy
      @SquidgyPidgy 4 місяці тому +2

      how tf do you even come up with that 💀I refuse to believe you were sober when you typed this🤣

  • @axiss5840
    @axiss5840 4 місяці тому +42

    FYI, the only reason they're doing this 'Osha is hot for sith guy' is because Lesbie Headland is going to make the sisters choose *eachother* and then pretend it's a huge reveal.
    She told us this when she said she's just ripping off Frozen

    • @Kamn_exe
      @Kamn_exe 4 місяці тому +13

      Naw it's Osha, Mae, Qimir throuple ruling the galaxy with the power of many

    • @mikoto7693
      @mikoto7693 4 місяці тому

      Wait, granted I never saw the second movie but there was never an incestuous lesbian romance in Frozen.
      It would be shocking if I didn’t know that she was Epsteins personal assistant, bringing young women to him. I think she might have been perversely affected.

  • @christopherbronson3275
    @christopherbronson3275 5 місяців тому +99

    So many deep and intricate stories they could be telling about the Old Republic. The politics, the rise and fall of the Jedi order, the myths and legends that were born in this era... AND WE GET SEGGSY ASIAN SITH

    • @admech590
      @admech590 4 місяці тому +5

      Oh but you see...this is the High Republic. So much more interesting than the Old Republic. It's so interesting, despite being heavily featured in jedi survivor, the main focus and selling point of the acolyte, and being a massive media campaign to set up a new era with books and comics and so on, barely anybody talks about it or makes lore videos about it.

    • @milkgotzgames
      @milkgotzgames 4 місяці тому +7

      Yeah you're right we could care about lore but hear me out, shirtless guy -writers and director for acolyte

  • @DavidByrden1
    @DavidByrden1 4 місяці тому +90

    Did Ms. Stenberg just work her way through the emotions of curiosity, fear, intrigue, lust and wariness, without displaying any of them on her face?
    Damn, that girl should be a poker player.

    • @marhawkman303
      @marhawkman303 4 місяці тому +4

      Actually if you watch her attempt at making a music video.... she has a wide variety of facial expressions... I think it's just the directing here.

    • @dontbeorbeevil
      @dontbeorbeevil 4 місяці тому +7

      @@marhawkman303 What variety? She had the same face, just rolled her eyes, and shook like a fish out of the water.

    • @marhawkman303
      @marhawkman303 4 місяці тому

      @@dontbeorbeevil Obviously it wasn't acting, but at least her face didn't look like it was made of wood.

  • @smd1876
    @smd1876 5 місяців тому +233

    We are watching soft core explicits....and garbage 😂

    • @usernamealreadytaken9330
      @usernamealreadytaken9330 4 місяці тому +28

      I've seen pron with better script writing.

    • @RandomAnagram.
      @RandomAnagram. 4 місяці тому +14

      Probably because they stole the whole plot/story of this series from a edgy 12 year old on wattpad, just changed the names of characters. 😂
      Or not even changed them because why did they name her OSHA? 🤣

    • @PhillyCh3zSt3ak
      @PhillyCh3zSt3ak 4 місяці тому +4

      @@usernamealreadytaken9330 the worst part is you're right. I've seen better writing in NSFW manga and pr0n.

    • @poijnve3912
      @poijnve3912 4 місяці тому +3

      @@RandomAnagram. idk man, even the fluff without plot, and only for the sake of fluf... it better writer than this show

    • @akl2k7
      @akl2k7 4 місяці тому +2

      ​@@usernamealreadytaken9330I'm pretty sure the Star Trek TNG "parody" had better script writing than this. AND all the couples got together.

  • @imperialguardproductions
    @imperialguardproductions 4 місяці тому +37

    The s3xual tension makes sense because the creator of this show was the former personal assistant of Harvey Weinstein. 💀💀💀💀

  • @quitwastinmytime
    @quitwastinmytime 4 місяці тому +123

    Your dog story reminds me of one I heard on the radio. This guy's family had a donkey that was just used to arouse the mares for breeding, but he never got to do the deed himself. After years of this he finally got in to the mares' barn one night. They found him in the morning dead - presumably of a heart attack and presumably with a big smile on his face.

    • @kyze8284
      @kyze8284 4 місяці тому +34

      That reminds me of a joke about a farmer who wanted a rooster that cost as much as his car because it was guaranteed to breed the chickens... that then went on to the ducks at the pond, the turkeys in another pasture... the farmer kept begging the rooster to slow down or he'd die. He comes out one morning and finds the rooster lying on the ground and is crying over it because it was so expensive and he wanted to keep him around for when he needed more chickens again, buzzards even circling
      Which the rooster opens one eye and whispers "shhhh, they're getting closer"

    • @paulysmallz8095
      @paulysmallz8095 4 місяці тому +6

      Ok I laughed to much at that 😂

    • @hawkeye5955
      @hawkeye5955 4 місяці тому +1

      The donkey had snu snu

    • @hideousruin
      @hideousruin 4 місяці тому

      Hahaha

  • @V0SRU
    @V0SRU 5 місяців тому +149

    That dog will never forget what you did to him. Never.

    • @Alteori
      @Alteori  5 місяців тому +67

      I'm sorry 😭😭😭😭 I did feel really bad after lol

    • @Danzin_Danzibar
      @Danzin_Danzibar 4 місяці тому +14

      ​@Alteori hope there's a part 2 to this story. You can't just leave the dog like that 😢

    • @persephone342
      @persephone342 4 місяці тому +1

      I laughed so hard I was crying! Loved the comparison! 😂

    • @V0SRU
      @V0SRU 4 місяці тому +1

      @@persephone342 how’s life with Hades?

    • @diatractedone9797
      @diatractedone9797 4 місяці тому

      ​​@Alteori
      It's ok. There will be plenty dog parks and embarrassment in the future for that doggy.

  • @Burns_RED
    @Burns_RED 4 місяці тому +54

    Isn't it misappropriation that a "non-binary" actress is playing a female character?? 😂
    Or is it okay because "a woman" can't technically be defined?

    • @thedivine1ite461
      @thedivine1ite461 4 місяці тому +2

      I don't think so. People who complain about actors not matching their roles to a t are just nonsensical. My favorite gay couple so far are Ian & Micky(shameless). Both actors are straight from what I know. So personally I can care less how much a actor represents their role.
      Also I don't think the definition of women matters much in this topic☠️

    • @Burns_RED
      @Burns_RED 4 місяці тому +7

      @@thedivine1ite461 Whoosh

    • @thedivine1ite461
      @thedivine1ite461 4 місяці тому

      @@Burns_RED ?

    • @Adrian-yi8fl
      @Adrian-yi8fl 4 місяці тому +3

      ​@@Burns_REDikr? 😅

  • @Perktube1
    @Perktube1 4 місяці тому +396

    Venestra. Ask your doctor if it's right for you. 💊 😊

    • @Alteori
      @Alteori  4 місяці тому +80

      💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

    • @zarktyark7312
      @zarktyark7312 4 місяці тому +14

      @@Alteori Hey Alteori what's the name of the song you briefly played at 0:04?

    • @IamHomelander
      @IamHomelander 4 місяці тому +21

      The Nepotism is strong with this one

    • @RevoVansen
      @RevoVansen 4 місяці тому +7

      genius lol

    • @TheLandBeyond_Productions
      @TheLandBeyond_Productions 4 місяці тому +27

      Side effects may include: betraying your padawan, headaches, burning, lash marks, loss of your team and disorienting visions in hyperspace, if you experience any of these, please contact your doctor immediately.

  • @insertclevernamehere1186
    @insertclevernamehere1186 4 місяці тому +74

    I think they're taking "seduced by the Dark Side" a little too literally these days. But, I'm not gonna lie. The idea of Mae and Sol arriving at the Unknown Planet only to walk in on Osha and Qimir "doing it" would be too hilarious to pass up...

    • @BiggieTrismegistus
      @BiggieTrismegistus 4 місяці тому +11

      The "unknown planet" is Earth since they're obviously somewhere in Wales.

    • @persephone342
      @persephone342 4 місяці тому +2

      Dude… I’d die! Can you imagine Sol and Mae’s absolute shock at being replaced by their respective counterparts?! 😂😂😂

    • @SaviorCross
      @SaviorCross 4 місяці тому +9

      Sol, "Osha, what are you doing?"
      Osha, "He's going deeper into the force."😂😂😂😂

    • @persephone342
      @persephone342 4 місяці тому +3

      @@SaviorCross 😂😂😂

  • @erikvarela2045
    @erikvarela2045 4 місяці тому +6

    Alteori: "Kylo and Rey... yeah I don't know who they are."
    Every Star Wars Fan: "It's better if it stays that way."

  • @murky1608
    @murky1608 4 місяці тому +19

    You see, Mae didn’t kill him because she was torn between stabbing him to death stealthily… and standing like a moron and saying “attack me… with all of your strength!”

  • @ZorusAgartha
    @ZorusAgartha 5 місяців тому +52

    Hehe I was right this episode would royally piss you off even more
    & I love their double standards of sexualizing & objectifying men as if doing it to men is completely acceptable at all when people preach that objectifying & sexualizing women is horrible

    • @Alteori
      @Alteori  5 місяців тому +33

      RIGHT!!!!! If it was a woman and a man in the different roles. NOT ALLOWED. Same sex? ALLOWED. Woman objectifying man. ALLOWED

    • @zachowon
      @zachowon 4 місяці тому +1

      Maybe rhey are trying to do a gotcha with men?
      We dont care. We think the show is nad for MANY other reasons.

    • @ZorusAgartha
      @ZorusAgartha 4 місяці тому

      @@zachowon I wouldn't put it past them to try something like that

    • @StayFractalesque
      @StayFractalesque 4 місяці тому +6

      If they didnt have double standards, theyd have none at all..

    • @sensaiuriah5440
      @sensaiuriah5440 4 місяці тому +5

      ​@@zachowonnah it's been like that in marvel for a while. I noticed it more when love and thunder came out . And I had to see thors ass 😂

  • @admech590
    @admech590 4 місяці тому +97

    Jeremy Jahns put it best when they said they trying to recapture the reylo lightning in the bottle phenomenon. Forgetting Reylo should have never been a thing in the first place, since it was always awkward and forced.

    • @ChaosZero1031
      @ChaosZero1031 4 місяці тому +15

      It was also a bunch of like mentally ill people shipping them.
      Cause they love to bring up how someone like Rose Tico's actress was bullied off social media, but then mostly ignore how another side of the fanbase was practically doing the same thing of threatening & bullying Adam Driver's wife cause they wanted Reylo in the real world as well.

    • @Keeki95
      @Keeki95 4 місяці тому +2

      The "lightning in a bottle" was that they had acquired the most popular franchise around. So popular that fanboys were willing to push a horrible romance pairing in it. They've ruined that, and apparently don't understand what it is they lost.

    • @zzodysseuszz
      @zzodysseuszz 4 місяці тому

      Ew, Jeremy jahns. Smooth brained psuedo critic.

    • @PhillyCh3zSt3ak
      @PhillyCh3zSt3ak 4 місяці тому +8

      @@ChaosZero1031 the worst part with Rose Tico's actress is that she's a lot more beautiful in real life and they made her look like a potato in the movie. Like, you compare them side by side and it's hard to believe its the same woman.

    • @josephbassey1501
      @josephbassey1501 4 місяці тому +1

      ​@@zzodysseuszzSure, whatever you say bro

  • @Drunk3nferret
    @Drunk3nferret 4 місяці тому +63

    Man I couldn't stop laughing at Alteori's take on 50 Shades of Jedi lol

  • @ian8477
    @ian8477 4 місяці тому +22

    You know, the writing is so bad that I wonder if they might actually have misunderstood and thought that a millenium was 100 years rather than 1000 years, and that Obi Wan's original line about the Jedi being guardians of peace and justice for 1000 generations was only 1000 years... I'd say they couldn't possibly be that dumb, but the show's writing speaks for itself. This is why we hire the people who are qualified for the job, not allow nepotism and diversity quotas to get people through the door.

  • @panos617
    @panos617 4 місяці тому +58

    Alteori : WTF we watch?
    Me : Not STAR WARS.

    • @Mr.E_Bodhako
      @Mr.E_Bodhako 4 місяці тому

      it's Star Was

    • @panos617
      @panos617 4 місяці тому +2

      @@Mr.E_Bodhako Not even close!

    • @itsjusttap3010
      @itsjusttap3010 4 місяці тому

      @@panos617”Was” my man lol I believe was intentional

    • @KRobinson-ko1ne
      @KRobinson-ko1ne 4 місяці тому +1

      I’m sorry but we gotta draw the line somewhere
      This show was made deliberately out of spite towards the creator
      Because that’s the case it’s actually ANTI-Star Wars

    • @Mr.E_Bodhako
      @Mr.E_Bodhako 4 місяці тому

      @@itsjusttap3010 yup ;p

  • @Dazgul
    @Dazgul 4 місяці тому +14

    After gripping his shaft with 2 hands, she moved to his helmet.

    • @Hiccuple
      @Hiccuple 4 місяці тому +6

      She could sense how powerful his dark side was...

  • @makdaddi3921
    @makdaddi3921 4 місяці тому +46

    A blatant Harvey Weinstein insert call out. Not a movie for children.

    • @marhawkman303
      @marhawkman303 4 місяці тому +6

      Yeah.... it's pretty much a RW parody.

  • @johannesseyfried7933
    @johannesseyfried7933 4 місяці тому +3

    Padawan: "Master Sol's team must have been wiped out by Ambermoths. It only makes sense: Bug Types are very effective against Psychic Types."
    Venestra: "I knew I shouldn't have let you play so much Pokemon...."

    • @TaoScribble
      @TaoScribble 2 місяці тому +1

      Someone needs to make Acolyte: The Abridged Series. XD

  • @ahsokafan8959
    @ahsokafan8959 4 місяці тому +18

    I think it’s more fun if you think of Mae as Dory from Finding Nemo. She starts doing something then 30 seconds later completely forgets what she’s doing. Short term memory loss

  • @aclevername7613
    @aclevername7613 4 місяці тому +12

    "The Jedi teach there is only one way to access the force." Nooooo they do teach about the darkside and give warnings about it and so on. What is he smoking.

  • @IamQuietKrys
    @IamQuietKrys 4 місяці тому +5

    OMG, I can't wait for the forcegasm in the next episode.
    Keep up the great work Alteori 🙂

  • @RolTickler
    @RolTickler 4 місяці тому +7

    "Kylo Ren and Rey... I dont know who the fuck those people are"
    I envy you so much 😭

  • @What_do_I_Think
    @What_do_I_Think 5 місяців тому +74

    What are we watching: I would say, we are watching bad propaganda. And I mean real BAD!
    What they want to teach us, is said in this episode: *"Good and evil are just a matter of perspective"*
    One of the leading creators at Lucasfilm has a spouse that is alleged to be wiccan or a witch of some sort. We can see that in how the Jedi are portrait and how good and evil is switched all the time. "Jedi bad, Jedi gulity, Sith are just the despised, persecuted ones but they just have to defend themselves." That is what is conveyed
    This is simply NOT Star Wars. George Lucas always made a distinction between Good and evil and always stayed clearly on the side of Good, even in the prequels, where he showed the weeknesses of the Jedi.
    The new Lucasfilm tries to portray everything as just grey. "Choose your side, everything is equal, just a matter of perspective."
    No it is NOT. *What we are "taught" here, is the recipe to destroy civilizations!*

    • @admech590
      @admech590 4 місяці тому +19

      The night sisters themselves may have been classified as "greyish" characters compared to Darth sidious and the sith. But make no mistake, the clone wars knew that they were still ruthless and selfish and came from a deeply sexist, war-like society that valued strength and cunning over compassion. The only really bright spot the night sisters had was their love for each other. Plus, even they knew that delving fully into the dark side was a recipe for self destruction. That's why merrin from fallen order can use dark side alchemy but remain generally sane. But this show...this show thinks that making everything grey somehow adds nuance to the world. It doesn't. This isn't dune or game of thrones, the heart of star wars is the struggle between good and evil and how difficult it is to remain on the light side when the whole galaxy is against you. It's about the slippery slope into evil because of how fast it is to achieve results. It's about maintaining a balance between the light and dark sides of yourself and learning to accept your strengths and your faults. This show is written by people who don't understand star wars, one of the most simple, appealing and digestible sci fi franchises of all time, and don't care to understand star wars.

    • @What_do_I_Think
      @What_do_I_Think 4 місяці тому +7

      @@admech590 I can not say anything about the night sisters, because I did not watch that show.
      In one regard, I completely agree with you: The writers of this show do not understand Star Wars and as much I heard, it is by design. They wanted specifically writers, that are not familiar with the lore. They want to change it and make it their own IP. Lucasfilm and Dismay today just rides on the success of former Star Wars, uses the name to sell us Stuff!
      And as I stated, somebody or some persons also try to "teach" us their own believes.

    • @callumholland8932
      @callumholland8932 4 місяці тому +2

      ​@@What_do_I_Think did you know the original storyboard and script was done by the current HOTD writers to have to phenomenal writers (there credited in every episode) to then butcher their work with DEI and because Leslie wanted the sith in more that the last episode wow could have been special I bet
      Would also love to see the two screenings that failed imagen them if this is the final project

    • @admech590
      @admech590 4 місяці тому +2

      ​@@What_do_I_Thinkthe idea of getting fresh ideas and fresh perspectives doesn't inherently mean the product will fail. Looks at andor...BUT, the people they bring in need to at the very least have some respect for what they're adapting, and put in the work to do it justice. None of that was attempted in this show.

    • @What_do_I_Think
      @What_do_I_Think 4 місяці тому +2

      @@admech590 I did not argue, that the product would fail, but that the product is bad and involves an evil influence on ppl.
      A new perspective should not throw out the dignity of the franchise just for kicks or because they are driving some kind of agenda.

  • @andit1265
    @andit1265 4 місяці тому +28

    When you really want to be creeped out you habe to listen to the audio commentary describing the scene 😂

    • @Alteori
      @Alteori  4 місяці тому +10

      Where do I get these audio commentaries people are talking about? 😂

    • @blackforestgiant648
      @blackforestgiant648 4 місяці тому +6

      @@Alteori I think it is an accesibility feature for visually impaired people like subtitles for people with auditive issues. It should be on the platform itself.
      Disparu had it in his review if I remember correctly.

    • @IamHomelander
      @IamHomelander 4 місяці тому +2

      Imagine someone who understands human connection writing the story.

    • @talroitberg5913
      @talroitberg5913 4 місяці тому +1

      @@Alteori Go to the settings box on Disney Plus while watching the episode. Change the audio settings from English to English [Audio Description]

  • @carlthelongshoreman1979
    @carlthelongshoreman1979 5 місяців тому +76

    moderns SW is good at one thing, surprising people
    surprising people on how not matter how bad things are
    IT CAN GET WORSE

    • @Alteori
      @Alteori  5 місяців тому +19

      Stop challenging them 😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @carlthelongshoreman1979
      @carlthelongshoreman1979 5 місяців тому +4

      @@Alteori I CANT! I just keep wishing it doesn't get worse BGUT IT DOES!!! I have given up at this point after episode 6, I have realized no matter how bad it can get it will get worse

    • @nont18411
      @nont18411 5 місяців тому +2

      Because it’s subverting our expectations😂

    • @Markunator
      @Markunator 4 місяці тому

      Didn’t _Andor_ surprise everyone with how _good_ it was, though?

    • @Spawned-uy8ip
      @Spawned-uy8ip 4 місяці тому +1

      With Disney you kind of expect it to be terrible now. The surprise comes when they do something right.

  • @Spamkromite
    @Spamkromite 4 місяці тому +8

    I'm relieved to see that I'm not the only one who saw the double entendre of that Blue Lagoon scene between the two when he came out of the water 🤣
    She should wait for the low-tide to be able to reach that ship.... IF THE UNKNOW PLANET HAS ANY MOONS. Because if it has low-tide but no moons... Well, my suspension of disbelief vacated the place since chapter 1.

  • @AncestralDestructionPot
    @AncestralDestructionPot 5 місяців тому +45

    Mai is literally a Sith herself at this point.

  • @PenguinDust1969
    @PenguinDust1969 4 місяці тому +4

    This breakdown and review made me laugh several times. 😆 It was certainly much more entertaining than the actual episode.

  • @asherkosmos4312
    @asherkosmos4312 5 місяців тому +32

    Thank you for your -suffering- service Alteori. May you stay sane for you and for us netizens.

    • @Alteori
      @Alteori  5 місяців тому +20

      I think this episode made me snap bc I reaaaaaaally believe they are making it this bad on purpose lol

    • @zzodysseuszz
      @zzodysseuszz 4 місяці тому +4

      @@Alteori they seem to think the controversies around shows produce more money than the quality of the show…..but then they lose money and they keep doing it 😂
      Edit: the dude below me clearly doesn’t pay attention to the media activities the writers for each show go on.

    • @BrandonDenny-we1rw
      @BrandonDenny-we1rw 4 місяці тому +4

      ​@@zzodysseuszz no thats Velma.
      These writers genuinely believe theyre the greatest gift to humanity.

    • @zzodysseuszz
      @zzodysseuszz 4 місяці тому +1

      @@BrandonDenny-we1rwno 😂 Velma was simply benefiting from the controversies. Disney so far had purely relied on it to market and stopped actually putting effort into writing.

    • @BrandonDenny-we1rw
      @BrandonDenny-we1rw 4 місяці тому +3

      @@zzodysseuszz ehhh personally disagreed.
      The showrunners and writers are defending Acolyte to their dying breath because they genuinely think its good.
      Amazon knows damn well its hot garbage but they actually are using that as its talking point.

  • @stevenalexander6713
    @stevenalexander6713 4 місяці тому +45

    Osha wanting to determine the size of his Schwarz.....for science.

    • @zachrohler1047
      @zachrohler1047 4 місяці тому +7

      "I see your Schwarz is as big as mine"

    • @stevenalexander6713
      @stevenalexander6713 4 місяці тому +7

      @@zachrohler1047 Let us see how you... handle it.

    • @Josue-mv2fo
      @Josue-mv2fo 4 місяці тому +5

      OSHA performing tool inspections

    • @md_vandenberg
      @md_vandenberg 4 місяці тому

      @@Josue-mv2fo _golf clap_

  • @shadowfeinrir97_36
    @shadowfeinrir97_36 5 місяців тому +126

    Is Disney a CIA program at this point for weaponizing potential lethal levels of cringe for torture?

    • @wartyrant8627
      @wartyrant8627 5 місяців тому +6

      Me: You mean rendition, right?
      Qimir: Semantics.

    • @StayFractalesque
      @StayFractalesque 4 місяці тому +13

      ..they actually did this in guantanamo.. they would play disney songs full blast for days on end to keep folks from falling asleep..

    • @wartyrant8627
      @wartyrant8627 4 місяці тому +7

      @@StayFractalesque *oof* 🎶“you ain’t never had a friend never had a friend”🎶

    • @StayFractalesque
      @StayFractalesque 4 місяці тому +5

      @@wartyrant8627 🎶 ..remember what your old pal said, boy, yoou gotta friend in me.. 🎵

    • @Spawned-uy8ip
      @Spawned-uy8ip 4 місяці тому +9

      @@StayFractalesque Oh hell no. Plz tell me they didn't make them listen to Awkwafina's singing over and over. That's inhumane and demonic.

  • @adigaw587
    @adigaw587 4 місяці тому +21

    This entire show feels like a sandbox.
    Like Gmod, you chilling with your friends and someone just does something stupid and it explodes into some giant clusterfuck of stupid things happening

    • @gabe5918
      @gabe5918 4 місяці тому

      Damn now i wanna play gmod sandbox

    • @gamingjunkie6308
      @gamingjunkie6308 4 місяці тому

      Oh god, IT'S JUST ONE BIG VANOSS VIDEO!!!!!!
      ...Actually, no. That's an insult to Vanoss. At least those videos are actually entertaining.

  • @coulsonintahiti
    @coulsonintahiti 4 місяці тому +17

    We could have had Thrawn dismantling the New Republic, one artful master plan at a time.
    We could have had an Old Republic show about Revan and Malgus.
    Instead we got poorly-written show about Lesley Headland transporting unconscious women to naked men.

  • @xlikeex5642
    @xlikeex5642 4 місяці тому +10

    Was I the only one who was confused when Mae, who had a throwing knife, which, ya know, she used to kill a Jedi master with by THROWING it, decided to not throw a throwing knife and instead try to sneak up on them? Great assassin

  • @DaydreamerRonin
    @DaydreamerRonin 4 місяці тому +7

    Alteori is getting so good with these edits. The intro is so funny😂 "Come to dark side, baby girl!"

  • @Ixorpehc
    @Ixorpehc 4 місяці тому +12

    The Disney shills and loyalists act very childishly when they attack the critics just for pointing out the flaws in The Acolyte. So many "-ist" and "-phobe" accusations. It's very comical, like the lack of clarity, cohesion and quality in this writing.

  • @rnbnatl
    @rnbnatl 4 місяці тому +31

    Alterori’s glee at this train wreck is intoxicating. 🤣

    • @Senkoau
      @Senkoau 4 місяці тому +1

      And yet even that isn't enough to make me sit through this in one setting because the acolyte writing is so bad.

  • @_moegreen5770
    @_moegreen5770 4 місяці тому +8

    The way they turned this show into a smut book after seeing this man mercilessly killing 8 people last episode is wildddd . One of them was a child btw 😂

  • @squirlking2
    @squirlking2 4 місяці тому +67

    lets be real the whole show is crap. Disney cannot make good star wars at all. Just about everything star wars thing they have made has been garbage. Hell 95% of what we get in media nowadays is total trash.

    • @magnuscarlsson9969
      @magnuscarlsson9969 4 місяці тому +3

      You know they could made Dark frost Elsa vs Mulan with a light-saber... and we got this? Or perhaps Princess Merida, bounty hunter and expert with a blaster. I mean if you going Disney, why not go full Disney? 🤔

    • @itsjusttap3010
      @itsjusttap3010 4 місяці тому +5

      Still don’t know why peeps think this is entertaining other than making fun of peeps acting intentionally stupid and incompetent. It ain’t good. I know you should like what you like but like….. it’s 2024 I think I rather expect more that this

    • @mostcomplicatedman8115
      @mostcomplicatedman8115 4 місяці тому

      Forced DEI , woke racism , forced diversity , activists as writers and actors

    • @magnuscarlsson9969
      @magnuscarlsson9969 4 місяці тому

      @@itsjusttap3010 I think it's mostly related to the industry shifting it's focus, the shows we see on streaming services isn't made for a broad audience which is able to make a lot of money, by itself anymore... the whole purpose seem to be to complete a page in a catalogue of shows targeting many different audiences to maximize subscribers.
      So i imagine that "the most gay star wars ever" pitch, sort of filled a few key-boxes in their catalogue of star wars content... and within the Disney+ "streaming world" this show have "plenty of viewers", but i highly doubt the show caused a massive surge of longtime new subscribers.
      Perhaps a few renewed/signed up for a subscription on the brand name alone... at least the amount of viewer minutes suggest that is the case, that someone bought a month watched 3-4 episodes because they payed etc.

    • @EmiL_from_NieR
      @EmiL_from_NieR 4 місяці тому

      That’s why I watch commentary UA-camrs like Alteori and then just watch old anime or play video games like Stellar Blade, which I’m doing rn and it’s a WAY better sci fi story than whatever this show is. Eve being hot and not making terrible diss tracks helps too 😂

  • @GeraltofRivia22
    @GeraltofRivia22 4 місяці тому +13

    The writers really took "being seduced by the dark side" too literally.

  • @AC-03
    @AC-03 5 місяців тому +125

    My brain clocked out when 8 of them jumped him last episode and lost…the only time I pay attention is when he takes his shirt off at this point

    • @Alteori
      @Alteori  5 місяців тому +49

      😂😂😂😂 tbf he's the ONLY decent thing about the show and that's still not enough to save it

    • @Mr.E_Bodhako
      @Mr.E_Bodhako 4 місяці тому +1

      My Brain is slipping into my feet!!!!

    • @station7thedoor
      @station7thedoor 4 місяці тому +20

      It's dumber than that. 8 Jedi didn't jump the Sith, the Sith Jumped 8 Jedi! He wasn't cornered, he CHOSE to attack them and expose himself.

    • @milkgotzgames
      @milkgotzgames 4 місяці тому +1

      The show has that horror movie effect for me I don't care about any of the characters and thr villain is the most interesting part and they still ruin it 😂

    • @IamHomelander
      @IamHomelander 4 місяці тому

      Reread your comment and switch he/him with she/her. 💀

  • @AlSemz
    @AlSemz 4 місяці тому +8

    Who would have thought Darth Chad would go Wienstien on Osha and expose himself to her at his hotel room. "Be my personal assistant Osha". - Wiens..Qimir.

  • @TearDownGenesis
    @TearDownGenesis 5 місяців тому +18

    My bet, Osha will become Darth Plaguis, the epic Sith that was Palpatine's master mentioned in the prequel trilogy.
    Its a horrible action to do that to the lore but I'm pretty sure that's what they are preparing to do.
    The showrunner mentioned how she really liked the phrase "seduced by the dark side" specifically "seduced" and since she lacks any understanding of metaphor she's making it a literal seduction by Qumir on Osha.

    • @michaelfields7088
      @michaelfields7088 4 місяці тому +2

      I mean, if you are going to destroy the lore, then they might as well go all out. Destroy Star Wars until it's no longer Star Wars. I'm sure the fans will come back.

  • @Frienddudebroguy
    @Frienddudebroguy 4 місяці тому +7

    not even 2 minutes in and now im worried about how i squat of all things. thanks

  • @theknightjester
    @theknightjester 5 місяців тому +126

    The purple haired phase of American culture will lead to generations of roasting.

    • @sensaiuriah5440
      @sensaiuriah5440 4 місяці тому +2

      Especiallyyyyyyy cause they have kids that think like them 😂

    • @Markunator
      @Markunator 4 місяці тому

      What is “the purple-haired phase”?

    • @BiggieTrismegistus
      @BiggieTrismegistus 4 місяці тому +15

      Excuse me. You forgot the septum piercing that goes along with the purple hair.

    • @BiggieTrismegistus
      @BiggieTrismegistus 4 місяці тому +13

      ​@@MarkunatorIs that serious question? How can that be a serious question?

    • @jasonmaclean719
      @jasonmaclean719 4 місяці тому +11

      ​@@Markunator feminist lesbians on a power trip

  • @Johnf2022
    @Johnf2022 4 місяці тому +18

    There was romance between Han Solo and Princess Leia but it was very much a background thing, not front and center, then the last crap movies had Ray and Ren have some retarded romance that makes no sense. Kylo Ren was a Sith. Sith romance has only been a thing since Disney took over.

  • @MarkLittle-rq2bq
    @MarkLittle-rq2bq 4 місяці тому +15

    When Obi-Wan said, "Your father was seduced by the Dark Side of the Force."...it was a figure of speech, Leslye...you know, metaphorical? Not literal?...are you sure you're an actual writer, Leslye?

  • @GeoffInfield
    @GeoffInfield 4 місяці тому +9

    In a universe with faster than light travel, energy weapon and the for- the thread, one man stands alone, blind and mildly hypoxic in a gimp helmet he made himself. Stunning and brave.

  • @othertalk3313
    @othertalk3313 4 місяці тому +12

    2:31 - Can these elephant chickens be milked? Asking for a master.

    • @Alteori
      @Alteori  4 місяці тому +6

      EEEEWWWWWWWW 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @TheMandaloreAnimation
      @TheMandaloreAnimation 4 місяці тому

      ​@@Alteorido you like all this character?🤭☠️

  • @CPPpotkustartti
    @CPPpotkustartti 4 місяці тому +18

    Why, why they merged Twilight and perhaps even Fifty Shades of Grey into Star Wars universe?

    • @zachrohler1047
      @zachrohler1047 4 місяці тому +4

      Ask the lesbian assistant to Harvey Weinstein

  • @luiscossio296
    @luiscossio296 4 місяці тому +3

    Poor Alt. Descending into madness with each episode.

  • @BiriBiri925
    @BiriBiri925 3 місяці тому +2

    Hey, she held up his big lightsaber. Literally.
    God, what a bottom we're already at.

  • @Africanus1
    @Africanus1 4 місяці тому +2

    You had way too much fun with this!!

  • @ryanmaddugal
    @ryanmaddugal 5 місяців тому +47

    The little elephant chicken thingies look like a scrapped at the last minute idea for Tim Burton’s
    *The Nightmare before Christmas* movie.
    Btw, apparently when
    the Smilo ren actor saw the script
    of this scene (that he’d be butt naked?)
    He was like: «No way» and Lesle forcibly
    said to him: *«Ohh,Yesss»*
    Damn, Harvey Weinstein much?

    • @StayFractalesque
      @StayFractalesque 4 місяці тому

      Its the most obvious shlongy phallic imagery ive ever seen done unironically.. ..those fleshy trunks are all osha and the filmmakers have on their mind during this one.. ..where are the plushie merch shlongers?

    • @zachowon
      @zachowon 4 місяці тому

      When women do it to men, it is fine according to those in charge
      And isnt she a lesbiqn? Why.would she want to see men naked?

    • @admech590
      @admech590 4 місяці тому +12

      Ah yes...because it's completely fine to sexualise the guys, but the women, oh that would be sexist...I don't want to sound like that guy, but it's hard not to see the hypocrisy

    • @Mr.E_Bodhako
      @Mr.E_Bodhako 4 місяці тому +8

      she used force to make him do it, err I mean The force... no wait I meant force... ._.

    • @KRobinson-ko1ne
      @KRobinson-ko1ne 4 місяці тому +2

      Did this REALLY happen?
      Do you have any sources?

  • @quito787
    @quito787 4 місяці тому +12

    He's naked and she grabs his "lightsaber"??? Lol there's no subtlety there.

  • @dandare9055
    @dandare9055 5 місяців тому +27

    Soft Pron?
    I mean: the writing makes no sense... most Hentai would be embarrassed with something that boring yet convoluted. So a low tier soft pron?

    • @StayFractalesque
      @StayFractalesque 4 місяці тому

      Written by a gay woman for other gay women who want to see a straight woman oogle a naked straight man..

  • @mikoto7693
    @mikoto7693 4 місяці тому +2

    Sol didn’t say “My team was wiped out by the Sith” because the writers initially know they had chosen an era where the Sith hadn’t been seen for centuries and were believed to be extinct.
    And then presumably at some point they found out that they had made that huge timeline mistake so they’re scrambling now to not mention the word “Sith.”

    • @gruenekatze0
      @gruenekatze0 3 місяці тому

      Canon: What that?
      *guy with red lightsabers floating above a pile of jedi corpses*
      Leslye: A smoothie

  • @bananaman2487
    @bananaman2487 5 місяців тому +21

    SOME HOW, YOU ARE SUS
    It feels like this is your favourite episode. -.-

    • @Alteori
      @Alteori  5 місяців тому +18

      😂😂 Not you with the woman lips about to suck a banana pfp

    • @Bunny2319b
      @Bunny2319b 4 місяці тому +5

      LMAO

    • @bananaman2487
      @bananaman2487 4 місяці тому +2

      @@Alteori haha

  • @rayvonvelez3129
    @rayvonvelez3129 4 місяці тому +4

    Last episode you called it. And I did not expect it at all. They actually went the fan fiction route.

    • @Alteori
      @Alteori  4 місяці тому +3

      Right!! I mean they were implying But I didn't think 100% they would lean into it like this. I can't even take the show seriously so that's why I'm laughing.

    • @rayvonvelez3129
      @rayvonvelez3129 4 місяці тому

      same 😂😂.. I was like Alteori video is gonna be so funny on this episode. Didn't disappoint 👍

  • @ElTio-mony631
    @ElTio-mony631 5 місяців тому +96

    Now they know porn is actually popular 💀

    • @n4m31355h4dow
      @n4m31355h4dow 5 місяців тому

      Not porn but shipping for mature women this is fifty Shade of Grey. That why there is not attractive women

    • @StayFractalesque
      @StayFractalesque 4 місяці тому +13

      Smylo Rens helmet is literally ELFEN LIED.. ponder on that for a moment..

    • @Mr.E_Bodhako
      @Mr.E_Bodhako 4 місяці тому +8

      i mean osha tried his helmet on for size to see how it fits... if it fits she sits @@StayFractalesque

    • @TheMandaloreAnimation
      @TheMandaloreAnimation 4 місяці тому

      Porn they like. The Force is strong strong this one.

  • @terraventusaqua123
    @terraventusaqua123 4 місяці тому +80

    I was promised the gayest Star Wars story to date and I got the most heterosexually Wattpad crap I’ve ever bore witness to.
    They can’t even follow through with that…

    • @Tossler
      @Tossler 4 місяці тому +8

      Oh my God true. I didn't even notice that

    • @Lemmiwings
      @Lemmiwings 4 місяці тому +12

      They want to release it China, so they have to be able to cut the gay without it being to noticable.

    • @persephone342
      @persephone342 4 місяці тому

      Jecki and Osha had so much more chemistry too! But I’m enjoying hot Asian Sith and older Asian Jedi… the Asian daddies are hot!!

    • @RoseBaggins
      @RoseBaggins 4 місяці тому

      Lol, Right?

  • @mrnixon2287
    @mrnixon2287 4 місяці тому +7

    The Ballsackolyte.
    In a blue lagoon filled with frigid waterfalls,
    Swam a naked, dark jedi, with shrinking balls.
    They danced on the surface, weightless and spry,
    Soggy and shrivelled, like a pea in the sky.
    With a twirl and a whirl, they banged with a bounce,
    The fans, were excited and waited to pounce.
    A marvel to see, two force sensitive spheres,
    Their secrets revealed as Osha hungrily peers.
    He is the Ballsackolyte, a handsome dark knight
    His helmet keeps his identity locked tight
    The naked sith lord, with luminous balls
    A Darthmaul clone, minus facepaint, horns and overalls.

    • @persephone342
      @persephone342 4 місяці тому +2

      It’s just like poetry, it rhymes!

  • @kevinsantos8439
    @kevinsantos8439 4 місяці тому +1

    fun fact: the place Osha was brought used to be a desert before the writers started writing their fanfiction, they had to be flexible after the place mysteriously flooded

  • @donaldspage5157
    @donaldspage5157 4 місяці тому +7

    Identical twins separated at birth, one trained by a Jedi Master and the other trained by a Sith Lord sounds amazing. What they should have done is (The twins after fighting each other notice they are identical. The twin trained by the “Sith” gets hope and turns to the Light side. The twin trained by the “Jedi” gets angry because they lied to her about her twin dying and turns to the Dark Side).

    • @zachrohler1047
      @zachrohler1047 4 місяці тому +2

      I feel like I've seen exactly that? Like either a fan film on UA-cam or maybe one of the books from ba k before Disney burned all the eu

    • @Logan-nd3ho
      @Logan-nd3ho 4 місяці тому +1

      Not exactly the same but the twins from star wars the old republic: the fallen empire.

    • @addieroth5201
      @addieroth5201 4 місяці тому

      @@donaldspage5157 OMG that would have been way better

  • @aldente3868
    @aldente3868 4 місяці тому +2

    Alteori has done the impossible.
    She's made The Acolyte entertaining.🤣

    • @Alteori
      @Alteori  4 місяці тому

      How can we not be entertained by what is clearly a show made bad on purpose... I don't even know anymore LOL.

  • @Crux_Riajuu
    @Crux_Riajuu 5 місяців тому +15

    When SJW writers don't know what it means to be seduced by the dark side and end up taking it literally.

  • @Azor_Ahai031
    @Azor_Ahai031 4 місяці тому +1

    Alteori being absolutely unhinged this video is the best thing ive seen all week ngl

  • @BrettCaton
    @BrettCaton 4 місяці тому +26

    Osha: You killed everyone I care about!
    Badboy: Wanna hold my lightsabre? (*flexes*)
    Osha: There was a desert here five minutes ago ....

  • @AristeaSturmschwinge
    @AristeaSturmschwinge 4 місяці тому +2

    Disney clearly failed with giving Kylo and Rey a reasonable romantic relationship and somehow they making a WORSE one in the Acolyte. And compared to Osha and this Sith guy, Reylo even starts to make sense.
    I'm not even kidding. Rey despised Kylo Ren and tried to kill him multiple times, before they were able to have a conversation that wasn't out of hatred. On top of that, they had a force bond, which made them soulmates. Also, they never had a romantic relationship. They had feelings for each other, but couldn't develop any kind of romance, because Kylo died, before that could happen.
    Just watching Osha with this Sith hottie makes me uncomfortable. Why would anyone follow the murderer of their friends around like a lost puppy? It cannot all be the power of masculine, right? Also he abducted her and instead of trying to escape, she watches him bathe. I don't understand how the showrunners think this is a good the start of a romance. I'm in for a dark side romance, but but approach the whole thing with common sense please.
    Just saying, if Rey would have woken up on that planet and found Kylo Ren alone after their first encounter, she would have fired every weapon she could find at him.

  • @FrostbiteDigital
    @FrostbiteDigital 4 місяці тому +11

    Leslye Headland's Star Wars ladies and gentlemen... This is the new standard now

  • @veraanastasiaramirezrozas1633
    @veraanastasiaramirezrozas1633 4 місяці тому +2

    What are we watching? Fanfiction written by ChatGPT that somehow got adapted on screen. At least that it feels like to me.

  • @mechgouki7999
    @mechgouki7999 4 місяці тому +6

    Damn! My dog just left a big pile of acolyte on the carpet!

    • @Alteori
      @Alteori  4 місяці тому +4

      😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @moret25
    @moret25 4 місяці тому +39

    This is why the Male Gaze theory is a foolish and shortsighted idea, we should've discarded it long ago.
    Anyone who says "Male Gaze" or "objectify" knows nothing about the visual arts or perspective or *VISION* . It's not in Bisexual or Gay culture we don't find the "Male Gaze". I mean even Lesbians enjoy looking at sexy idealized ladies. Even the women in Naked and Afraid wouldn't stop talking about the male nudity, always saying something about the penis sizes in that show, meanwhile most of the men got over the female nudity within several minutes and were focused on surviving on the island.
    Men don't just feel lust and love when they see a gorgeous lady walking by, those two emotions are overwhelmed by happiness, shock, confusion, fear, doubt and so on.

    • @lukeari9890
      @lukeari9890 4 місяці тому

      Male Gaze is when you have the camera zoomed in on a character's ass when there's no reason for it in the scene. I am a straight man, but even I find that sort of thing annoying.

  • @CaptGrout
    @CaptGrout 4 місяці тому +3

    You and Rich Evans have the best, most infectious laughs on the internet

    • @Alteori
      @Alteori  4 місяці тому +1

      Awww thanks. Now I have to look up who that is. 😅

  • @Mr.E_Bodhako
    @Mr.E_Bodhako 4 місяці тому +13

    there's two sides to every Schwartz, it's a double ended Schwartz

  • @RREvilMonk
    @RREvilMonk 5 місяців тому +8

    Thank you for your suffering.
    It’s hilarious!😂

  • @Sourcecode01
    @Sourcecode01 4 місяці тому +3

    I just found you recently, I love the reviews of this you are doing, so detailed and so funny!

  • @Drunk3nferret
    @Drunk3nferret 4 місяці тому +12

    You know what I'm actually thankful that this show exists now because Alteori's commentary carries this bish. I'm having a delightful time laugh crying my butt off XD

    • @Alteori
      @Alteori  4 місяці тому +3

      We just gotta laugh 😂😂

    • @StayFractalesque
      @StayFractalesque 4 місяці тому +3

      Alt has such an infectious laugh too.. "heehee hee hee HEEEEE"

    • @stevenalexander6713
      @stevenalexander6713 4 місяці тому +2

      The commentary by Alteori is way better than the show itself.

    • @Drunk3nferret
      @Drunk3nferret 4 місяці тому

      @@Alteori ur not wrong lmfao

    • @Drunk3nferret
      @Drunk3nferret 4 місяці тому

      @@stevenalexander6713 Alteori's interaction is the show honestly

  • @CodexisInkwind
    @CodexisInkwind 4 місяці тому +3

    Its very clear that these people have no idea how the Jedi work or how the force works. The Jedi arent supposed to be 'emotionless' they are supposed to be mentally disciplined enough to control their own emotions. They still feel but they are supposed to be trained and in control to not let their emotions control their actions. Because if they are using the Force while emotional they run the risk of loosing control and causing fsr more damage or harm. Thats part of what makes the Sith so powerful and dangerous. They dont have the fine tune control Jedi are supposed to have, but they can usually use far more powerful force powers due to their emotions driving them

  • @Firey-penguin82
    @Firey-penguin82 4 місяці тому +6

    If factory resetting pip turned him evil does that mean Osha had to reprogram it at some point to make it good? And if the default setting is evil why would a good guy even have it in the first place

  • @kidcthulhufortney1320
    @kidcthulhufortney1320 4 місяці тому +10

    So much for the "gayest Star Wars ever" 🤣 Didn't they just queerbait Jecki two episodes ago before fridging her? And now we got Kylo/Rei fan-fic with totally new OC's (do not steal!)
    The inconsistency is strong with this one!

  • @gboy1973
    @gboy1973 4 місяці тому +12

    Star Wars Episode XXX :A Journey Into Thirst: The Thirst Awakens

    • @Erik-z5g
      @Erik-z5g 4 місяці тому

      Honestly...give women what they want for a change...geez