My Stream-Entry Story
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- Опубліковано 18 вер 2024
- I feel this is a very personal video. But maybe you can relate in some way and had similar experiences.
Please share your thoughts in the comments.
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Hope youre doing well. Ive been there and it gets better. Just part of the voyage...but it can get lonely so good thing you made this video.
Great idea to share this friend. The incredible thing is that the world is filled with people trying to get to the same place but from different angles, like a maze that we all get lost in. Reaching out to the other subjects in the maze to see maybe someone hears you and echoes back, is a genuine and great thing to do.
I get a sense from this channel that you are in a similar maze to the one I'm in, and many others. We can simplify it to the "self development" maze. The danger in this maze is when you start asking questions like: "why am I in here? Where is this going? Why is it valuable to develop?"
I do disagree on one key thing you mentioned here when you said "truth". I don't believe that word is useful in this battle. I believe it's a search for "meaning" (like viktor frankel says). The "self development" quickly becomes "self masturbation" and then emptiness hits... suddenly exercising/meditation/cold showers seem exactly the same as shoving ice cream in your face everyday. The crisis of meaning is the hardest to decipher. It's so elusive and never ending, like a question that every time you "climb" another step in the ladder of the answer you find more questions. More then that, you find that you could've dived instead of climbing to reach similar questions.
For the psychedelics, I think you would be surprised how many people have walked this dangerous road, and how many are currently walking it. If some people are taking the camel to get to places, then others (fewer) prefer taking a risk on a faster vehicle like the train. Doing what you did with the shrums is equivalent to jumping on a train you have no idea where it's going, and on top of that moving at a ever changing speed. If you go to "Ozora festival" in Hungary, you will find a lot of "train people" that have chosen similar paths. Of course don't expect the majority to be as expressive about it as you are... some people are experiencing but not communicating afterwards. I recommend you check it out to combat the "it's getting lonely in here" part of the journey.
I think we're are masters of self confusing in this crazy life dance, so it's nice to have some dancing partners :)
There is a scene in the movie "waking life" where a character says: "in romantic evenings of self, I go salsa dancing with my confusion". The sentence itself is a mind fuck, because salsa requires a partner usually...
I really appreciate this video man, and sure it will resonate with many.
If you're interested, it would be great to connect on Facebook and chat for a bit.
Stream entry is a concept from Theravada Buddhism, it has nothing to do with non-dualism, which the Buddha never taught, that is something from zen. It's awesome that you have an interest in those things. One of the first things the Buddha teaches us in his roadmap to stream-entry and enlightenment is to let go of intoxicating substances. You should study and practice the Eightfold Path that the Buddha taught, it'll solve all your problems if you give it time! ;)
Thank you for your input :) I am indeed studying Buddhism quite intensely, especially the Dzogchen lineage, which I find to be precise and evolved. At least compared to those parts of Buddhism that I have studied so far.
Also the video is four years old. In that time my view has evolved a lot...
Well my dear Lauritz, you are indeed feeling a lot of pain. Two years ago, I went through a six month period of ego collapse (that's what I call it) where everything I thought I was, and all of the things I had done all came into a light of understanding. I felt intense shame for awhile, I had loads of regrets, I saw that who I allowed myself to become had caused all of my problems in the past, and worst of all, somehow I didn't seem to have made the progress I thought I had. But I was wrong about this last part. I had made progress or I wouldn't have been able to see any of these aspects of myself. I'm going through another phase of darkness now, a resurgence of behavior I haven't experienced in myself since my twenties. But this time my relationship to this period of darkness is different than the last one I went through. Because now I am seeing it as illuminating and leading me to a deeper understanding of myself. I no longer am depressed about what I see (oh, I'm concerned alright, but not depressed) so I can move forward and drop this little layer of myself away. Our paths upward are very lonely, and even when you join a group thinking that may help, a person arrives at the understanding that one is still alone in a room full of people. Is all of this worth it? Yes sir it is. Your explorations and your resulting videos are not only changing you, but they're changing us too, all the way around the world. The road to happiness is one of pot holes and twisted ankles my friend but by searching and continuing on, I'm convinced that those of us who are seeking answers will arrive at happiness and may just be able to help others. Like you do.
In your comment i see a reflection of what i learned but tend to forget from time to time. The value of the purifying downs and the lessons they reach. Thank you!
Thank you for sharing you journey brother! Number one thing I can share with you and I know this is 6 months later but finding community is KEY. You are not alone on this journey by any stretch of the imagination. I've heard many stories like yours. "Find the others"
Thanks for sharing this brother.
You're definitely not alone on this journey as you can see from all the responses.
The more deeper I get on this path, the more confusing, depressing & frustrating it's been. I guess what keeps me going is telling myself that there is a reason why I'm on this journey and there's something better for me beyond the ego. And you can't just forget about it because it's hard to fall back into the ego without recognizing it since it's already been identified. The makes me question more about all my choices. But yea I could go on and on about this lol. I say all that to say we appreciate you sharing this because I know for me its hard to talk about to people. Good luck on the dark room meditation experience. I did something similar but not a dark room.
Bless up man.
Rich
+Rich Williams thanks for your feedback. I think you are absolutely right. Opportunities to lower consciousness are around every corner. And its easy to get lost again and again. But the egos grip clearly loosens with meditative and self inquiry practices.
I love your honesty! Very few people have the truth within them to be so raw.. May peace be with and within you my friend! I found your channel at the very time I needed to know that Im not alone on this messed up journey of and to self love.
I am very thankful for your words & wanted to leave you some thoughts on the question whether "Ignorance is bliss" or if there is any benefit in following through on the spiritual journey/awakening. To be honest if you get randomly hit by a car on the street probably not... but if you die as an old man you will have already partially dealt with facing death which is probably the biggest challenge everyone of us has to deal with in his life. Besides that there is no way back once you have discovered that there is more to life than meets the eye. Great distractions like a natural disaster or war or maybe even an extremely busy job might be the only things that could prevent you from looking for more answers now anyway….
On a different note physical skills and improving at them are something that can always give me a sense of moving forward and even though in terms of life and death knowing to juggle 3,4 or 5 balls might mean absolutely nothing, the constant improvement and learning always feels good cause simply being without improvement every day is not satisfying enough for me personally!
+Sebbo V I agree with you!
Our experience is the expansion of the infinite. Therefore it feels so good to evolve and have new experiences. We are he Tee to experience all the possible corners of the infinite creation. I guess thats why enlightenment is so worthwhile. It sets one free from deep within. To do whatever one wants.
Wow glad to hear I am not alone in this search for meaning. I guess what works for me is being comfortable with nothingness and being alone. Good luck with the mediation retreat. please update on your journey with the dark mediation room. Much love
I will keep you updated. Good to hear that I am not alone with some of those questions.
Oh man xx I feel your love. And send my love. You help me every time cuz it real, thinking for yourself and therefore drawing in (manifesting) what u need. For there to be love there must be doubt. You sound sooooooooo in touch connected yet yearning for something more real. Sounds like a nice balance to me. I'll make a video for ya.xx
Great video bud! Personally I've never dabbled in psychedelics (other than a small dose of mushrooms once but I was drinking too so I think it dulled the experience). Unfortunately for me my vice is drinking, I love scotch and beer way too much. I don't know if I can offer up any advice regarding spiritual things, but I figure if everything is connected, and there is no real point to existence, and even if that gets you down and depressed just do things that make you feel good. It is cliche but just live to the fullest and let things happen when they happen. I don't know if you have posted before on your blog or here on youtube, but what books did you read regarding all this (spirituality, meditation, etc. . .)? I've probably tried to meditate a few times in my life, but man it is tough to get the noise out of my head. Keep up the videos man!
I sooooo appreciate you!!!! 🙏🙏🙏 Thank goodness I learned to surf 🏄♀️ before….
🐬✨🐬✨💗✨🐬✨🐬
I loved the video man , it really made me rethink about my spiritual life . Also I can totally relate with you about the feeling and the urge to have a plan about the future (security , money , career .... ) , it gets really frustrating with me sometimes . Anyways , thx for the video and looking forward to talking to you :)
I think I have picked up this need to plan and to have a vision for my life from my family and also from the overall culture we are living in. We are constantly reminded to think outside of the present moment and think about the future instead. When I look back on my life, many actions I did with some future goal in mind. While this has benefits, one has to look out not to get stuck in this mentality forever.
Dude i get it. I highly recommend Jordan b Peterson on UA-cam. About 12 lectures called maps of meaning. They greatly helped me figure out where I'm going and what is worth valuing.
BernieG Reene JP is da best
+BernieG Reene thanks a lot. I will look into his content. :)
To be a stream enterer, you will have unshakable faith in Buddha, Dhamma, Sangha, and Sila, according to the Suttas. These qualities are touchstones.
@Conscious Explorations: Given the use of “Stream-Entry” in the title, you’re doubtlessly aware of the concept of sotāpanna, yet, considering the questions that you posed in this video and the ongoing disturbances that you describe occasionally experiencing, perhaps returning to contemplate The Three Fetters (www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/study/into_the_stream.html#fetters) might prove beneficial. 🌑
Very relatable actually. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you so much for sharing! I hear you. This morning I was feeling that sense of aloneness...wanting to be within a group of supportive, likeminded people. And then I remembered that here and now is as perfect a place for me as any. There is a reason why my journey has unfolded in such a way... And then I got to hear you and feel connected 😁 Recently I have been listening a lot to Mooji (lots of youtube vids to watch). He emphasises awareness of the illusion of complexity that is created by our psychological mind...truth is simple...and it is not to be found because it already is within you. Like the sun constantly shining, even if the sky is grey. Have you listened to Mooji? I really love his warmth and sense of humour 😀
+Tatum Robinson hey! No i have not yet listened to mooji. Thanks for the recommendation.
Finding like minded people is not easy. But with the internet a lot easier than without.
Fun video, thank you. How are you doing now?
I am doing good! The path is continuing to unfold on ever deeper levels.
I believe in you!!!!!!! Let the breath go! It will come back to you :)
+John Cummings thanks for your comment! I appreciate the feedback. So that i know others feel similar things on their path.
after having learned to love myself fully, I know I can also love orhers now.
AlanWattsIdeas , you got it! But, to throw you for a spin, I will provide you with this question: is there any self to love?
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Please do freestyle Vlogs on all your ideas? I like this style because you are also showing me that I am not entirely alone either. Keep it up and continue being your self. Ha you made me laugh at the part where you said you did a 7 day fast and ate the dried mushrooms, then smacked your lips with the nod gesturing your total disillusionment! Good stuff. Yes, psychedelics aren’t very gentle. They caused me a lot of moral strife with my friends I took them with, and society at large.
AlanWattsIdeas , when you have about an hour of downtime, please check this link out: 8tracks.com/abchanel/alan-watts
I know you have probably heard these many times, but I was listening to this in the gym the other evening after a year or so had passed since my last viewing, and came to some interesting conclusions. I also had to be reminded of something I didn’t fully absorb, similar to what you’re talking about here. Focus on the one where he is talking about the act of the thing doing it’s self of is own process. You mention it here quite well, but bring the knowledge of the experience and internalize it by experiencing it. “You must love, because you are told you ought to” part. Just a suggestion, and in no way am I telling you because I think I’ve already got it figured out. We shall both sit in amazement, baffled at the complexity of life’s forces.
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Sometimes letting go of things, so they can come back to you on their own accord is best. Just as letting your love go (significant other), and letting them come back to you in their own way on their own time shows the deepest reverence, because you are not forcing them into a position or institution, such as the title of girl/boyfriend, or that you are married to me and mine.
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I told my ex if she found someone better to go with that, because I wanted to show her a love I felt she needed to see. Too bad she was a narcissist, which impacted her understanding of this. She opted to have the cake and eat it too so to speak. We were children too.
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Anyways, I mean to say: let go of the thought you have. Let it come back, just to see how -IT- chooses to reappear in your life, not how you try to morph it into animation. It will come about it’s own expression, naturally.
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I think you know all this very well. You seem to have gotten in the way of your self.
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Yoga’s final position helped me learn this. Savasana, relaxation pose, taught me that at the end of experience it is important to appreciate what has been done and to accept both achievement and failure in trying to enter new positions. They are necessary tools, equally powerful. Like pieces in a game of chess. One is not greater than the other, but a piece of the whole.
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Hope this helps further, and you know my words come from profound respect for your work, not from myself assuming a position of greater importance or achievement than you. Together, we are One.
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Peace! (~)=}
I'm struggling with derealisation, for me training and running and getting good sleep helps when feeling down.🙏 My belief is that the only thing worth doing is the things that we enjoy.
Oh yes you are right. I also like to focus on my health and my fitness. Seeing the body improve is a great joy. And I finally do it because I enjoy the process instead of wanting to reach a certain state or look.
AlanWattsIdeas Yes exactly, it's wonderful!
Great video, man. Wow, my story is very similar. I did ayahuasca 18 months ago, and have done mushrooms a number of times since then, and have started all sorts of changes in my life. Daily meditation for an hour, self-inquiry, waking up at 3 in the morning to meditate for an hour, trying to meditate all day long, dropped alcohol, got in shape, started really really caring about other people. My username is PsiloPutty if you ever go to the forum at actualized.org And if you've never been there before, I think it was made for you. Thanks again.
Hey I am struggling along this wiggly path too, it's interesting that you mention loneliness during your mushroom trip. I also experienced a very very intense shroom trip and the main theme was loneliness, as if the intelligence of the universe had done all it could for itself but was still so crippling and madly lonely, scary stuff, but this was most likely an aspect of my egoic self trying and failing to understand the enormity of what I actually am. Although "I" know it's impossible to comprehend with the mind, "I" still tried as the shrooms kind of took away any sort of control I had. Listening to teachers on this point they say the real you is even beyond any concept or feeling of aloneness.
Thanks for your comment! Yes the psychedelics take you beyond anything that the mind can comprehend. From the infinite point of view that loneliness is true. It is by definition all that could ever be. Nothing is separate from it. So from that state of being, it could be described as loneliness. Which is again a human concept. So it does not apply in that state, as you said. It is just the way the human mind tries explain the experience. If not fully understood this can leave one feeling unimaginable lonely. At least that is what I experienced a while after my trip.
Realization is to know there is no end destination it's all ready present in the now. The search for answers will stop when your ready, then you see that balance perfection is all ready here. It's all inevitable.
I see you clearly, wayward traveller. As I understand it, there are no answers to the question this video implies, only better questions. If I believed I was stuck I'd take a look at the question I was asking, and the context in which such a question could arise. So to speak.
If we bring to mind the phrase "there is no other", and filter our experiences through this understanding, we will serve to level the observational playing field a little bit.
We can further clear the way by taking a look at any baseless assumptions we've made which form the context in which our "dilemma" rests; if I believe I'm a human on planet earth, subject to the laws of physics or karma or the ebb and flow of mother earth... or whatever, I've erected a barrier between my supposed self and whatever I'm supposedly observing. I'm using my energy to craft lenses through which I can see what I want, and not what's there. What's here.
What assumptions are you making? Do you want to wake up? Do you want to grow up? What has been the theme of your life? Do you know what you want?
What does "wake up" mean to you that it insights such turmoil? Why are you afraid? Is your fear justified?
If you'd like to talk more, send me a message and we can trade email.
Love ya,
Eric
A great burden is lifted by realizing truth. And that is the burden of thinking one is actually a human being with only this life. Truth sets me free to enjoy what "I" (god or existence) created for myself. Infinity actually wants to experience itself in its finiteness instead of abiding in its own infinity forever. Fully actualized human beings realize this and ultimately make god enjoy itself more because he becomes more free. But than again from the infinite point of view there is nothing to achieve. It already contains every possible state.
So let's enjoy the ride while it lasts (forever). ;)
AlanWattsIdeas... take it further, brah. Beyond a personification of yourself, and the constraints of language or thought. Do you fancy yourself a teacher?
Thanks for making this video. I subscribed to your channel. I hope you are well.
I could be wrong here,
but maybe you are still clinging on to "things"? Like fixating on feeling good, or being "enlightened"? Just let go, and simply accept the wave of things.
I very much like to introduce Krishnamurti his saying that the "center" isn't a fixed thing, but more a dynamic given.
Next to that, take your time to process your experiences.
just my two cents, out of my own, quite similar experiences.
+wandering neone i can agree with you. I definitely have my attachments. But they truly are having less of a pull on me. I can see them more for the dance of experiences that they are.
yeah, like spectacles maybe?
Anyway, if you experience this again, and the same thing goes with more positive insights and moments (that you might try to cling onto),
just accept them as they are, they come and go, like waves on a beach ...
(and before you know it you get more in touch with the natural, biological side of things, that in it's turn conflicts with the limited mechanical approach to society ... but that's a complete other matter;)
Hi there; I see this video is about a year old; but I just discovered it last night. Thank you for sharing your personal story with us. It takes courage to do that. I was wondering, is there an e-mail address I can message you at? Are you on Facebook or anything? I watch UA-cam, but do not really comment! I take it you have likely gained some clarity and understanding around the experience you described, since you shared this video? I will watch your other videos as well. I did watch the one in which you described your dark meditation period at home. That also is brave! I'll get caught up on your videos, as I want to know more about your experiences! :) What I can say, is that what you have described is not an uncommon occurrence regarding the use of psychedelics, or even with non-psychedelic related awakening experiences. I speak from personal experience, but also from the knowledge I have gained via studies (both informal self-studies and formal university education). I have a master's degree in counselling psychology and am working toward becoming a psychologist; but my area of interest is truly Transpersonal Psychology (including mindfulness, eco-psychology etc). Perhaps this is an area that may interest you as well. I have had and am having personal struggles too, trying to come to terms with what I have come to know to be true/nature of reality etc; while living in and being aware of this matrix/illusion. It is not easy being "awake". Have you ever spoken with a therapist, or had sessions with shamans or other holistic healers or anything? TBH, I haven't even spoken of my awakening experiences with my therapist; but I do know if you find the right one, there are many open-minded therapists who would gladly hold space for such discussion. This may be an avenue to explore. I definitely can relate to what you've shared so far, especially about how lonely or isolating the spiritual journey can be, and knowing who you can speak to or finding other like-minded people who can relate. I find that nature is one of my greatest resources, more so than people! Not that I get answers about the deep existential stuff of life necessarily; but I find peace, support, a sense of wellbeing and connection there. I guess I do learn things by witnessing nature and its rhythms and cycles too! In any case, I'd love to have a private discussion with you and connect with you sometime. Peace
Thanks for your comment! Wow I really like your perspective and your idea of following this as a profession. :) I have never talked to any professional about this. In fact I never had any psychotherapy. But I am not hesitant to talk to anyone who is interested about these subjects. So, I have spoken about it with quite a few people and gotten their perspective. But usually, as I mentioned, not many people around me can relate.
It's great you are doing your videos then; I bet you will attract many people who can relate! From what I've seen of your videos, I've related with all you've said (with exception of the dark meditation, as I haven't experienced this before/yet). But I've tried floating before (sensory deprivation) and got a small taste of the darkness. You are brave! I think there is a lack of support/info in mainstream society regarding such experiences. It's mostly on the fringes in conscious circles/holistic healing/possibly psychotherapy that we may find others who can relate. But by sharing with us in your videos, you are creating a space for open authentic dialogue, relating, & connection. Awesome! Thank you.
What did you mean by “okay it’s happening again”?
It's a deep sense of recognition that without doubt you are that infinite, eternal godhead and you have realized that before. It's like coming home to a place you have always known. A state of consciousness that is always their but we usually cannot recognize it in our ego mind.
It's very difficult to explain though in words. And unfortunately no conceptual understanding will get you their either. 😉
While it is true that God's spirit lives in all of us we are not all one and the same. Even god himself is composed of three persons, which is the minimum number of entities required for agape love to manifest. The universe is relational and it's governing law is "other-centeredness". “But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and with all your soul”.
+Glass Box cant say much about that. I only talk about what I experience. Evrrything else is theory and should be seen as a hypothesis. Truth is only in the experience.
What if my experience is different from your experience? Whose is true?
Hey man, I've watched a lot of your videos over the last few years. I've tried a lot of spiritual stuff including Alan Watts books, Adyashanti, etc. I can recommend a few good sources for you. Lately I've been trying water fasting and just wrapped up a 30 day water-only fast. PM me and I'll send you a name of a non-duality teacher I've been listening to and saw in person, would like to connect.
just say No
May I ask you where you're from?
+Rudolf Delort Laval i am from germany