Let me know if you've struggled with perfectionism before, it's absolutely not something to be ashamed of and it is possible to turn it into something healthy and helpful🥰🧡
The good news is that I'm writing EXACTLY this book now, a book on perfectionism and fear of failure. The bad news is that you have to wait until I get it published 😄. While waiting, here are some other recommendations: Big Magic amzn.to/3Uo2yuT Feel the fear and do it anyway amzn.to/3HnVjer
The difference between demanding parent mode and healthy ambition is a kinder inner voice and an ability to rest. Don't lose the ambition, but be kinder and rest more. Your survival mechanism can actually be helpful if you use it the right way
It's always good to know that the tips help, Emily! Being a Perfectionist is a mindset: we don't need to eradicate it, just turn it to the healthy side 😉
It's me you are talking about. I am definitely a very toxic perfectionist. People around say I changed a lot, all I do is work to achieve more. I can't rest, feel joy, celebrate . 😢 Can't handle it
I understand how you feel, I've been there myself in the past. Just know it is possible to be a healthy perfectionist, I hope my other videos can help you with this🙏
@anastasiiaolkhovyk5112 Also if you're looking for the next step and how to stop this negative mindset from ruining your life, contact me at info@vassiasar.com and letsbdiscuss the next step. Life with achieving but without the toxic perfectionism is so beautiful 😊
I feel like my perfectionism wants me to work hard, so I feel safe, because I was only safe during childhood when I got good grades. It also makes me feel like I'm good or there's something good about me. I think when my dad saw me as bad, because my emotions triggered him, I creatively thought of a way to still believe I was good in his eyes (and it worked sometimes!) If I go to the gym, count my calories and look great, I feel like I'm better than others. This is to make myself fele better, because I have a deep sense of shame otherwise and I feel inferior. Grandiosity is a coping mechanism. I don't know how to feel I'm good enough if no one tells me I am. I found that, the opposite of the persistent negative noticing experienced during childhood, is an unconditional positive regard. Having my therapist see good in me and look at me like I'm good really helps me. With time, I'm learning to believe I'm good. Therapy gives me the safety to be able to believe I'm good: something that was too dangerous during childhood
Let me know if you've struggled with perfectionism before, it's absolutely not something to be ashamed of and it is possible to turn it into something healthy and helpful🥰🧡
Impactful video 💥
Could you suggest some best books to read for fear of failure & inaction ?
The good news is that I'm writing EXACTLY this book now, a book on perfectionism and fear of failure. The bad news is that you have to wait until I get it published 😄. While waiting, here are some other recommendations:
Big Magic
amzn.to/3Uo2yuT
Feel the fear and do it anyway
amzn.to/3HnVjer
The difference between demanding parent mode and healthy ambition is a kinder inner voice and an ability to rest. Don't lose the ambition, but be kinder and rest more. Your survival mechanism can actually be helpful if you use it the right way
Correct! It's the tone of voice that makes such a big difference: more compassionate, understanding, accepting. Thank you for your valuable comment! 🙏
An insightful video Vassia, as a fellow perfectionist that's been working through this in therapy for years I can relate. Thanks for the tips!❤️
It's always good to know that the tips help, Emily! Being a Perfectionist is a mindset: we don't need to eradicate it, just turn it to the healthy side 😉
@@vassiasar I love that😌
It's me you are talking about. I am definitely a very toxic perfectionist. People around say I changed a lot, all I do is work to achieve more. I can't rest, feel joy, celebrate . 😢
Can't handle it
I understand how you feel, I've been there myself in the past. Just know it is possible to be a healthy perfectionist, I hope my other videos can help you with this🙏
@anastasiiaolkhovyk5112 Also if you're looking for the next step and how to stop this negative mindset from ruining your life, contact me at info@vassiasar.com and letsbdiscuss the next step. Life with achieving but without the toxic perfectionism is so beautiful 😊
@@vassiasar thank you 😊
I feel like my perfectionism wants me to work hard, so I feel safe, because I was only safe during childhood when I got good grades.
It also makes me feel like I'm good or there's something good about me.
I think when my dad saw me as bad, because my emotions triggered him, I creatively thought of a way to still believe I was good in his eyes (and it worked sometimes!)
If I go to the gym, count my calories and look great, I feel like I'm better than others. This is to make myself fele better, because I have a deep sense of shame otherwise and I feel inferior. Grandiosity is a coping mechanism.
I don't know how to feel I'm good enough if no one tells me I am.
I found that, the opposite of the persistent negative noticing experienced during childhood, is an unconditional positive regard.
Having my therapist see good in me and look at me like I'm good really helps me. With time, I'm learning to believe I'm good. Therapy gives me the safety to be able to believe I'm good: something that was too dangerous during childhood
I'm so glad therapy has allowed you to work on yourself❤️