Ending 10 More Overhyped & Overpriced 'Rare' Plants

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  • Опубліковано 29 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,8 тис.

  • @phytosexual
    @phytosexual  3 роки тому +129

    instagram.com/phytosexual
    *Overhyped Rare Plants Part 1! **ua-cam.com/video/VAyAcdGHrRc/v-deo.html*
    *Rare Plants Worth They Hype? **ua-cam.com/video/vFQ94S7hFGo/v-deo.html*

    • @Yoliplanting
      @Yoliplanting 3 роки тому +2

      One of your best.

    • @sherryporsch9349
      @sherryporsch9349 3 роки тому +2

      Always love the unique creativity of your videos 😍

    • @geraldadorna5655
      @geraldadorna5655 3 роки тому +1

      Coz it's serving the fantasy... of a monster wanting 2 b a plant lol she feeling her oats🤭

    • @Real_k8
      @Real_k8 3 роки тому +1

      I liked before the video even started hahah :)

    • @phytosexual
      @phytosexual  3 роки тому +3

      @@RS-re2tp I fixed it, if you’d still like to contribute. Apologies.

  • @alyssastack1213
    @alyssastack1213 3 роки тому +689

    Instead of the Monstera Obliqua, I'm going to buy a fucking house.

    • @cc05jc
      @cc05jc 3 роки тому

      LOL

    • @torilynn1089
      @torilynn1089 3 роки тому +10

      @L I L I T H ・ [ לילית ] Tell me why I read it as horse too and didn't realize it said house until I saw this comment-

    • @torilynn1089
      @torilynn1089 3 роки тому

      @L I L I T H ・ [ לילית ] CTFU I would trade my plants for a horse too XD

    • @dark_baphomet
      @dark_baphomet 3 роки тому +2

      That’s a cheap house, I want a 2k house or even a 10k house ty

    • @torilynn1089
      @torilynn1089 3 роки тому +2

      @@dark_baphomet well it's at least a months worth of rent in Cali! I don't live in Cali, sadly, but someday so 😂

  • @hb5056
    @hb5056 3 роки тому +280

    yess finally someone is addressing the fact that all these 'rare' plants are often super ugly!! I want luscious full plants, not scraggly 3 leaf plant crones!

    • @phytosexual
      @phytosexual  3 роки тому +25

      road kill

    • @neonice
      @neonice 2 роки тому +2

      I just looked at the local listings of variegated monstera adansonii and none of them have rotting leaves like in the vid. Also none cost more than 300 bucks.
      Generally there also are lots of "expensive" plants that do look nice like the basic variegated monstera deliciosa, it's a stunner.

    • @meremeth
      @meremeth 2 роки тому +3

      @@indusingh2013 the variegated monstera deliciosa still goes for around $1500 AUD in my area lol (sydney)

  • @gabriellakosa488
    @gabriellakosa488 3 роки тому +432

    $52 shipping..."Is Beyonce delivering the Philodendron?" lol :D

    • @phytosexual
      @phytosexual  3 роки тому +20

      She is tho

    •  3 роки тому +7

      on the weekends yeah, just for extra cash 😁

    • @Erika70079
      @Erika70079 2 роки тому +1

      Yea, ive seen shipping to Canada for 80-90 bucks. Ridiculous

  • @an.opossum
    @an.opossum 3 роки тому +163

    THANK YOU. What a breath of fresh air it is to see a "plant youtuber" that isn't afraid to use the word "herbicide" and roasts the fuck out of overpriced meme plants + invasives.

  • @alllsn
    @alllsn 3 роки тому +612

    Your brand of houseplant sass is of the highest quality.

    • @phytosexual
      @phytosexual  3 роки тому +33

      quality > quantity

    • @DijhaniStHill-qy6cv
      @DijhaniStHill-qy6cv 3 роки тому +6

      I'm new here but....it's top tier really....lol

    • @krystaleverett5197
      @krystaleverett5197 3 роки тому +1

      Agreed

    • @chatryna
      @chatryna 3 роки тому +2

      I am howling. Very refreshing. I even caught myself coming out of my stupor. Thank you. But btw, New York Times lies about everything...even plants.

  • @JCamilleable
    @JCamilleable 3 роки тому +607

    I high key can’t stand the “rare houseplant” community they are insane

    • @phytosexual
      @phytosexual  3 роки тому +180

      'rare' is a social construct for plants

    • @anythingunderthesun4301
      @anythingunderthesun4301 3 роки тому +1

      So true!

    • @ellefont3813
      @ellefont3813 3 роки тому +34

      That’s why some “common” plants have skyrocketed in price 🤬

    • @ellefont3813
      @ellefont3813 3 роки тому +15

      Even this one plant Company I used to shop at increased their prices on common plants pissed me off.

    • @JCamilleable
      @JCamilleable 3 роки тому +35

      @@ellefont3813 that’s so lame! Plants are meant to bring joy and life to your space. Its a small piece of natural we get to borrow and take care of and to see ppl come in and exploited the whole thing for money makes me crazy! That’s why I love Nick he is so sassy and down to earth...that blonde plant UA-camr with all the rare plant makes my skin crawl... 🥴

  • @deckarddwizardd1909
    @deckarddwizardd1909 3 роки тому +92

    The plants do not deserve the hate they receive. Its the plant owner and sellers who are to blame for the ridiculous prices of these plants.
    I live in a tropical country and deadass some these ornamental plants grow in the forest near our house

    • @NefariousSpineLizard
      @NefariousSpineLizard 2 роки тому +18

      Yeah my family is from Java and when they saw I was buying a crystallinum, they told me it was a "grandma plant" and a "weed" 😂😂

  • @AmbiCahira
    @AmbiCahira 3 роки тому +2

    This rabbit hole of youtube... I was watching crested gecko videos, bioactive vivarium videos, plants to put in a vivarium, now just straight up plant videos and find that the more white a plant has or a crested gecko has (lilly white) the more people are willing to spend. Crazy stuff.

  • @stephanies34
    @stephanies34 3 роки тому +87

    Hoyas and Calatheas are my current obsession, but $25 is my max price unless it’s like a ten foot tall plant that can survive anything.

  • @taylorsmith8460
    @taylorsmith8460 3 роки тому +158

    Instead of an obliqua, I’d like to buy an air fryer so I can make my own obliqwhats

  • @vinessac
    @vinessac 3 роки тому +220

    Plants aside, I want to know your hair care routine.

  • @BeastyBite
    @BeastyBite 3 роки тому +103

    I'm not into houseplants... yet I'm here and I'm oddly entertaint by his snooty behaviour

  • @ais_fun
    @ais_fun 3 роки тому +138

    The fact that most of these plants look diseased to begin with - I could never justify spending any amount of money on these in case the rest of my plants got infected 🤨

  • @Stishwishery
    @Stishwishery 3 роки тому +71

    Instead of a monstera obliqua, I’m going to get a much needed therapy session.

  • @arturopomiano5597
    @arturopomiano5597 3 роки тому +75

    Me: 33 minutes, I can't go through all of this.
    Also me,.33 minutes later
    Me: I need at least 10 hour more of this 😍

  • @VallanaTrue
    @VallanaTrue 3 роки тому +66

    The Shangrila Pothos looks like my spinach when it needs water 😂

    • @lizza4250
      @lizza4250 3 роки тому +1

      Agreed. I love Pothos, but won't get that one.

  • @taylorstewart8309
    @taylorstewart8309 3 роки тому +28

    Instead of an obliqua I would buy 400 regular sweatshirts then cut the bottoms off and start a new fashion line called “Perforated Umbrella”

  • @Roses6858
    @Roses6858 2 роки тому +5

    I should cut a strand of grass on my lawn and sell it on Ebay for $690 and label it 'rare grass that a white rhino stepped on in Antarctica.'

    • @phytosexual
      @phytosexual  2 роки тому +1

      YES, perfect it's all about the delivery.

  • @kirsten747
    @kirsten747 3 роки тому +82

    Moving forward, I will be referring to all muted colors as “bashful”

  • @samanthahall6581
    @samanthahall6581 3 роки тому +138

    Him: "Variegated plants are dumb!"
    Also him: Surrounded by variegated plants. XDXDXD
    I, too, have a very conflicted relationship with my variegated plants.

    • @peruperu-jj8zs
      @peruperu-jj8zs 3 роки тому +2

      I feel lucky that i hate varigations... of any kind lol

  • @triciaroy
    @triciaroy 3 роки тому +70

    “D in the front, B in back” - you’re killing me. Lol

    • @phytosexual
      @phytosexual  3 роки тому +21

      I kill everyone sooner or later.

  • @elizabethchurchill2933
    @elizabethchurchill2933 3 роки тому +22

    Before UA-cam I used to write a rose column using the pen name "Dr. Leda Horticulture." When Dorothy Parker was asked to use the word horticulture in a sentence she reportedly quipped, "You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think." Maybe 1% of my readers ever got the joke.

  • @simonepham4832
    @simonepham4832 3 роки тому +27

    Instead of monstera obliqua, I would replace all the plants I lost in the Texas winter storm. RIP my gloriosum and alocasia frydek😭

    • @hvonsus5725
      @hvonsus5725 3 роки тому +1

      i’m so lucky that I didn’t lose any of my plants in that storm. our power was just rolling, so it didn’t make the house super cold for us. sorry for your plant loss though

  • @namelessshameless1505
    @namelessshameless1505 3 роки тому +17

    I think they're called the strawberry shake because it looks like someone drank one and threw it up on a leaf

  • @lisa22630
    @lisa22630 3 роки тому +70

    I would buy a ton of stock in Altoids and eventually get on their board of directors (is that how business works, I don’t know) and have the company name changed to Horse Mints.

  • @KamaileXo
    @KamaileXo 2 роки тому +2

    I found you today. No, not in real life, don't be scared. I mean I found your videos today, and I am so glad. This makes me hopeful for 2022.

  • @MjrIndigo
    @MjrIndigo 3 роки тому +70

    The “Mom, can we get variegation?” Joke sent me!!

  • @keg2140
    @keg2140 3 роки тому +65

    Instead of buying a monstera obliqua I’m going to save my money for some beautiful and cheap Rex begonias! Gorgeous plants don’t need to be expensive 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 great video!

    • @anythingunderthesun4301
      @anythingunderthesun4301 3 роки тому +4

      Totally agree!! There’s a lot of beautiful inexpensive plant.

    • @Nikibaby74
      @Nikibaby74 3 роки тому +4

      I love begonias so much. They are so beautiful!

    • @angelmartin7310
      @angelmartin7310 3 роки тому

      I love rex begonias, but so few I've ordered have survived. They just rot away, and I find these tiny worms on them I can't identify. Do great with cane begonias and have a couple rex begonias from Lowes that are OK but the fancy ones I ordered for good money all died.

    • @Fire-Queen
      @Fire-Queen 3 роки тому +6

      @@angelmartin7310 ok, let's disseminate: you've ordered: we can thus assume via postal service?( Which can take plants a while to acclimatise after transport and shipping.)
      Be patient, give them high humidity (don't spray your plants, it will not give them the humidity they need, and more chances of rot!!!) And no cold /drafts, And they'll perk back up quickly.
      "They rot away/worms" ... Oopsies! Sounds like you've got some bugs... My guess after reading your comment: mostly worm like creatures? Those are larvea of probably(as it's begonias, which most people keep too wet on the soil) the fungus gnat, which lays it's eggs down in the roots of a plant. I'd strongly advise getting that checked out; if it's mites, or actual worms, from inside a terrarium they're harmless, but if trips or likewise harmful pests, oh boy! Action is needed. (Most fb groups will help you if you place a pic or short video of the worms) But most bugs will Not be super harmful unless you allow them to spread out for a longer time. (No need to panic!)
      And third: you mentioned that higher prized begonias die on you. Well yeah! I've sadly seen this often, special, higher prized begonias often have more extensive care needs than a simple begonia rex, those are cultivars, created for 200years already, and hardier to our indoors climates than any other begonia. Begonias often need to be kept in begonia bubbles, or inside terrariums, in order to keep the humidity at the 80+ % and the temperature in the Tropical rainforest ranges that they need.
      Hope that helps, good luck, and research the species before buying, specifically on heat and humidity range. I do it with begonias and certain kinds of philodendrons etc. If it needs it too high, I don't bother, or know I've got to keep it inside a dome, greenhouse (or our already filled terrarium), which I do not like. I personally like plants to be all around the house.
      🍀👍

    • @angelmartin7310
      @angelmartin7310 3 роки тому +2

      @@Fire-Queen wow, thank you!
      I think I should get the work question out of the way first because it is the 1 constant I notice. My Little Brother Montgomery even had sign of them but luckily it is much less fragile and my pest spray took care of it (not sure if I used anything but neem on the fancy rex begonias I lost, it was a couple years ago). All I know for sure is that these bugs chew tiny holes in the leaves and leave a tiny bit of silk behind near the holes, as well as what looks like some kind of very small shell/skin. They are definitely larvae of some sort but the only time I actually spotted one it was an extremely small white worm/larvae that still seemed to do a crazy amount of damage in a short period of time and ONLY GO AFTER MY BEGONIAS. Isn't that weird? I'm sure if my care of them, including humidity and lighting, was better they would have survived it but it drives me crazy I can't identify what they were
      The begonias I'm referring to are ones like the famous spiral begonia, "satin jazz" (not that exact cultivar but very similar) and "curly fire flush" so not exactly the really rare types but still the kind that cost quite a bit on Etsy, lol. Man I love them so much. My Little Brother Montgomery is a cane begonia iirc and my absolute favorite, thank God I haven't killed it. I was visiting back home in Florida recently and I picked up a 3.5 foot tall angel wing Lana I suppose would be grown as an outdoor shrub down there but here in Indiana I'm HOPING will fare well enough indoor during winter without having to chop off all those giant semi-woody stalks it has right now.
      One day, when prices stop being stupid, I will be complete and self-actualized as a human upon purchasing an amphioxus begonia. Lol.

  • @ThePlantedCarlyflower
    @ThePlantedCarlyflower 3 роки тому +51

    $300 for the grey ghost and they couldn’t even kick the buyer $18 for shipping 😂😂😂

  • @raphe3815
    @raphe3815 3 роки тому +35

    “I don't like good-looking adonsonii. I like them skinny and pale, like they're dying.” -Not Nicole Richie

  • @irislee2944
    @irislee2944 3 роки тому +32

    “Mom, can we have variegation”
    “No, we have variegation at home”
    LMAO 😭😭

    • @phytosexual
      @phytosexual  3 роки тому +6

      I just waaaant a soft pretzel!

  • @Fire-Queen
    @Fire-Queen 3 роки тому +12

    'more of a bashful tangerine' I like your description 🤓

  • @YoutubeUserHello
    @YoutubeUserHello 3 роки тому +44

    I'm like you in that my relationship with plants both predates and exists outside the current houseplant craze. I think a lot of these plants go for such high prices in part because people newer to horticulture are only aware of the things they've seen on social media.

    • @ginathegreat2907
      @ginathegreat2907 3 роки тому +2

      I'm with you. I swear I used to see Hoya compacta in Lowes, can't remember the price but it wasn't that much, saw one at a local nursery and it was $40 🤯

    • @phytosexual
      @phytosexual  3 роки тому +8

      They don't know any better, because they assume things have always been like this.

    • @ginathegreat2907
      @ginathegreat2907 3 роки тому +1

      Reminds me of the saying -- you don't know what you don't know.

    • @nolaray1062
      @nolaray1062 3 роки тому +4

      I’ve been obsessed with houseplants since I was a teenager about 18 years ago. It boggles my mind how much quarantine has inflated prices. I want to be happy that more ppl are getting into it but, it’s frustrating seeing prices go up for ppl who are already starting to get over their new obsession. 😢

  • @repulsethemonkey1396
    @repulsethemonkey1396 3 роки тому +57

    The bit about horse mints was like when the teacher stops the lesson for a few minutes to tell the class a story

    • @phytosexual
      @phytosexual  3 роки тому +14

      I always loved those, and wish they would never stop.

  • @jesselabaniqued8283
    @jesselabaniqued8283 3 роки тому +12

    I really love the shangri la pothos. I got it with 4 fully rooted plants for $20. I’ve never seen it get posted anywhere and when I saw it for the first time in local nursery, I fell in love.

  • @Plantlovr323
    @Plantlovr323 3 роки тому +23

    Didn’t know I was going to get houseplant tea and horse dental care all in one video

    • @phytosexual
      @phytosexual  3 роки тому +5

      I'm like a box of chocolates.

    • @zay_rat8942
      @zay_rat8942 3 роки тому +2

      @@phytosexual a box of chocolate diamonds, preferably?

  • @annismildelupin
    @annismildelupin 3 роки тому +20

    Instead of an obliqua, I'm going to use the money to patent horse mints.

  • @wanderingwanda6090
    @wanderingwanda6090 3 роки тому +12

    I’m mostly here for your sense of humor but also your amazing plant knowledge. Love the video! Instead of a monstera obliqwhy I’m spending a few grand on a new kitchen.
    Also it’s great to have someone reminding me to make smart plant purchases instead of just following the hype and trends!

  • @psychadelaxy
    @psychadelaxy 3 роки тому +6

    i have never found a plant account that generates such chaotically funny energy i love this

  • @wavesandisles
    @wavesandisles 3 роки тому +17

    I bought my monsterra adansonii here in the Philippines for 350 pesos lol. Thats less than $7

    • @buttercupslongnails
      @buttercupslongnails 3 роки тому +1

      Lol I bought mine from some lady selling her garden plants outside a grocery store for $4 🤣

    • @EdlynJoyce
      @EdlynJoyce 3 роки тому

      Before the plant craze i saw a mature adansonii for 150 pesos in QC circle haha 🤣

  • @paphiopedilum1202
    @paphiopedilum1202 3 роки тому +42

    instead of buying an obliqua, id rather buy what kind of hair products you’re using

  • @MaddyBlu9724
    @MaddyBlu9724 3 роки тому +15

    "The whole point of a diamond is to sparkle" naaah man the whole diamond industry is based on that "you only want it because it is expensive" thing. Thats the same phenomenon you are criticizing when you talk about these plants. If the point was just to have a pretty sparkly rock everyone would just buy quartz rings or synthetic diamonds.
    (I dont know that diamonds are even rare, I think I heard that the big diamond businesses artificially maintain the scarcity/prices.)

  • @H3arme3r0ar
    @H3arme3r0ar 3 роки тому +16

    Haha I’m obsessed with variegation ... but I’d never spend more than 30 bucks on a mature plant.

  • @odd_ish5347
    @odd_ish5347 3 роки тому +31

    People in 2021: lets spent 300$ for a small plant / cutting
    Me: sitting in my apartment with 20 pothos because they are easy to propagate and care for.

  • @LauraaC
    @LauraaC 3 роки тому +53

    Instead of an oblique I'd rather pay off my student loans *cries*

    • @zenlamb5844
      @zenlamb5844 3 роки тому +2

      Omg this, I was gonna write that but mine are unfortunately more expensive than the Obliqua😭😭😭

    • @LauraaC
      @LauraaC 3 роки тому +2

      @@zenlamb5844 ahaha same though. Correction: I could pay off 1/10000 of my student loans lol

  • @kalely_rae1844
    @kalely_rae1844 3 роки тому +8

    I’m so jealous of your ficus triangularis in the background, absolutely stunning and on my wish list!

  • @tracystropicalgreenhouse8055
    @tracystropicalgreenhouse8055 3 роки тому +12

    My Hoya carnosa is 7ft tall and over 70 years old. She has large leaves, small leaves, splashy silver leaves, bright veiny leaves, every leaf is different. I nearly have most Hoya leaves in one plant. She’s my favourite plant 🌱. Great video hunnie. So instead of oblique I’d buy another carnosa 🤩. Can’t participate in your give away I’m too far away 😭 good luck everyone though. And So dam true everything you said. Big plant hugs from the U.K. 🤗🌱💚🌿🍀🥰

    • @bostonsandatot4948
      @bostonsandatot4948 Рік тому

      I'm going to add another Hoya carnosa in a variegated variety to my collection then as I love the idea of passing down plants to my kids. I have my deceased ex-husband's dracaena and ponytail palm from his office, luckily they're low maintenance.

  • @Meanchin
    @Meanchin 3 роки тому +8

    Bought a silver lady pre-plantdemic for a fairly cheap price (I thought it was expensive THEN). They’re fast growers and require very little care so I’ve been giving away long cuttings to my friends. Imagine my shock when I found out the prices have increased exponentially. I’ve been giving away a looot of money 😂

  • @cassiecovey2265
    @cassiecovey2265 2 роки тому +3

    I’m living for your personality

  • @scubamage
    @scubamage 3 роки тому +10

    "Well, this isn't eHarmony, and I'm not paying $150 for a coquettish aroid."
    I think i died laughing.

  • @elJefe-Dislyte
    @elJefe-Dislyte 3 роки тому +18

    Instead of an Obliqua, I’d buy myself an iPad so that I could tap tap tap on it like you do

  • @weareorigin
    @weareorigin 3 роки тому +42

    "I'll sell you a houseplant that's 98% unable to do photosynthesis. I'll throw in a free bag of my cat's used litter poop too. It's like fertilizer or something. Minimum bid $1000 US dollars."

  • @PoorAcres
    @PoorAcres 3 роки тому +9

    I'm going to buy SO MANY chocolate diamonds 💎 with all the money I'm saving by not buying an obliqua. Thanks for the tip! 🙃

  • @allthingsmaloney5634
    @allthingsmaloney5634 3 роки тому +7

    I got my exotica for SOO cheap! I got a huge 8'' basket with some trails for $50. I've taken so many cuttings (probably 20) and it barely looks like I took a dent out of it. Its already grown back new leaves in the last 3 weeks. The plant was listed as "silver satin" and while I know these are listed as two separate scindapsus online but three separate nurseries told me they are actually exotica. Two weeks later I went to 2 more nurseries and there were "silver satin" for sale with 2-3 small strands in a 4 inch pot for 36 bucks! So glad I jumped on the large basket when I saw it. I also scored a Pothos pearls and jade which I haven't seen for over a year now. It was hidden among common golden Pothos. Now THAT was expensive relative to a few years ago. It was $25 vs a few years ago when it was $16 for the same sized basket. In 2019 I almost bought a pink princess cutting for $15. I was a super poor student so I couldnt afford it. Boy do I wish I bought it now haha.

    • @zay_rat8942
      @zay_rat8942 3 роки тому +1

      I got my jade plant as a gift like 2 years ago at thanksgiving and that was a huge save looking at some of the prices

    • @neonice
      @neonice 2 роки тому

      Is the pothos pearls and jade even real? Because the Scindapsus N'joy I have has the same leaves with the fine speckles and diffrent greyish-green tones.

  • @xtinevelvet
    @xtinevelvet 3 роки тому +12

    Instead of an obliqua, I'm going to replace my main water line to my house.

  • @claudekim7876
    @claudekim7876 3 роки тому +7

    thats why i like cactus, the price goes up as 1. seeds are harder to germinate 2. grows slow as fuck 3. look absolutely beautiful or whacky and unique 4. all variegation (genetically) is stable and will never fade. my fav example is astrophytum kikko koh-yo. looks literally like a jolly rancher and are decently expensive (80 to 200 bux)

  • @JCamilleable
    @JCamilleable 3 роки тому +17

    Instead of an obliqwhy I’d buy a clone of my dog penny cause she’s the best.

  • @emilio5179
    @emilio5179 3 роки тому +21

    I would rather pay of my student loan than get an obliqua💀

  • @christopherwelsh6665
    @christopherwelsh6665 3 роки тому +7

    Jaw dropping with regard to the rare plant craze that drives these ghastly auction prices. Logee's got on the auction band wagon recently, and it's been amusing, to say the least, to watch those bids get ridiculously high. Thanks for another very entertaining video.

  • @MsMak12356
    @MsMak12356 3 роки тому +5

    I have an Aglaonema Siam Aurora (Chinese Evergreen) living in my bathroom that looks almost identical to your Firecracker. It didn't cost a fortune and it's growing like an SOB.

  • @sedumzz3289
    @sedumzz3289 3 роки тому +4

    I have an extensive collection chapsticks because my lip become so- CUCUMBER MELON

  • @jancar003
    @jancar003 3 роки тому +6

    I would buy wine instead of a Obliqua.
    I love how you truly appreciate common plants, they are so pretty!

  • @chowfun1976
    @chowfun1976 3 роки тому +4

    I swear collectors want to pay premium for the most unstable of variegated plants. The more unstable the more expensive. Then you have a show stopper like the Stromanthe triostar which has gorgeous and stable leaves of pink, green, and white which are so affordable. I bought one for $20 and it’s a dense and beautiful showpiece in my living room.

  • @anadelleramirez
    @anadelleramirez 3 роки тому +20

    How to get your very own Hoya Carnosa Grey Ghost at 3:30 💀

  • @shawnajoplin9756
    @shawnajoplin9756 3 роки тому +3

    Instead of an obliqua, I’m going on a Sephora spree. You are giving me hair and skin goals.

  • @Rhumnchoke
    @Rhumnchoke 3 роки тому +32

    Also strawberry shake is freaking ugly, it looks soooo unhealthy I can’t even

    • @tiffanyurena8796
      @tiffanyurena8796 3 роки тому +1

      Reminds me on dna degradation

    • @Rhumnchoke
      @Rhumnchoke 3 роки тому

      @@tiffanyurena8796 exactly !

    • @joshg11
      @joshg11 3 роки тому +2

      @@tiffanyurena8796 I mean that’s generally what variegation is lmao

  • @elizabethjames213
    @elizabethjames213 2 роки тому +1

    I am from Jamaica and I came across your channel because I love flowers and you keep cracking me up. Nuff nuff love

    • @phytosexual
      @phytosexual  Рік тому

      Enjoy all the pretty tropicalness for me. Plant lots of gardenias and jasmine so the indolic scent can billow through your tropical curtains with the ocean breeze along with the fiery rays of the Caribbean sunset.

  • @lyndseymichele
    @lyndseymichele 3 роки тому +6

    HOLY f**}% I did not know how much I needed you in my life until you were here 😪😪

  • @maylani3697
    @maylani3697 3 роки тому +2

    Like a great rerun, I never get tired of watching your videos. I love your smart sense of humor and wit. You’ve got that great variegation that we’re after. 😉

    • @phytosexual
      @phytosexual  3 роки тому +2

      Telling someone they're variegated is like a backhanded compliment. lol

  • @emilyplantsmusic
    @emilyplantsmusic 3 роки тому +13

    That intro was bee-utiful! 🐝 🤣
    I saw the Shangri la pothos at a plant shop and legit thought someone left old spinach out from the grocery store 😆 Your volcano Florida scenario had me rolling!
    Ps: Instead of an obliqua, I’d use the $ to buy several acres of Curly Fries Hostas with Japanese beetles 👩‍🍳 💋

    • @vinessac
      @vinessac 3 роки тому +2

      Right? It looks like a very sad plant someone forgot about.

    • @vilieto
      @vilieto 3 роки тому

      Further monetization idea: selling "experience packages" to millenials for DIY Obliqua

  • @DaDA-ky9fg
    @DaDA-ky9fg 2 роки тому +2

    I love and collect plants, but I tune in here just for the shade and witty humour.

  • @amigirl824
    @amigirl824 3 роки тому +9

    First of all, the whole horse mint thing might be my favorite story ever. And instead of a stupid Monstera Obliqua I'm going to buy another cheap but super lush Syngonium. My local grocery store gets them every now and then and they do great in my bathroom. They are basically my poop plants.

  • @parkour2niiper
    @parkour2niiper 3 роки тому +6

    I'd like a philodendron Prince of Orange, but I also wouldn't mind a Red Baron. Tho these aren't as hyped (yet), I see prices climb quickly and I'm not havin' any of that so I'll just wait it out.

  • @hxnnxh2000
    @hxnnxh2000 3 роки тому +47

    Instead of an obliqua I’d just pay the month’s rent

  • @christinescott5002
    @christinescott5002 3 роки тому +1

    OMG. Yes, the Levian Chocolate diamond comparison!!! PERFECT.

    • @phytosexual
      @phytosexual  2 роки тому +1

      you can keep you dirt diamonds

  • @MsSpidergurl1
    @MsSpidergurl1 3 роки тому +7

    I will be using the money to buy a funnel cake because man that sounds so good right now

  • @chowfun1976
    @chowfun1976 2 роки тому +1

    28:58 My first job was as a waiter at Friendly’s in my hometown of Rochester, NY. Thank you for the blast from the past 😉

  • @denisereyes1312
    @denisereyes1312 3 роки тому +8

    instead of the obliqua I'd probably get a Monstera Peru which is next on my wishlist

    • @vilieto
      @vilieto 3 роки тому +1

      The Peru is great! Super easy to grow, leaves are awesome and quite unique. Great choice!

  • @quickglimpse101
    @quickglimpse101 2 роки тому +1

    wow. i dont mean to be creepy by binge watching your shows, but haha your brand of dry wit is such my vibe. like finally someone is telling it like it is. wish i had found this channel years ago.

    • @phytosexual
      @phytosexual  2 роки тому

      I've been here less than two years, so you haven't missed much besides my old crappy videos lol

  • @laurakissthechef4674
    @laurakissthechef4674 3 роки тому +4

    When you showed the first picture, I thought "that's overhyped shriveled spinach" lol. I'm very guilty of hyping all types of monstera though. And the variegated kinds are soooo beautiful, I would rather spend my money on one of those than on a handbag.

  • @sashmo8
    @sashmo8 3 роки тому +1

    Nick is the best. I’m obsessed with this channel.

  • @Rayxster
    @Rayxster 3 роки тому +11

    Feels like 95% of the time a "rare plant" is only rare because of the name...

  • @reneedegrazio7543
    @reneedegrazio7543 3 роки тому +1

    I just LOVE You💞 Recently found You on UA-cam... Thank Heavens💖🌱🙏 You brighten my day with Your amazing personality along with Your wisdom of plants🌱 Thank You and please keep up the great job of making people happy🤗 You are sooooo awesome!
    I have You on my tripod at my kitchen sink while doing dishes..etc... You make my day💯
    You also remind me of one of my besties ever!!! Jase Cannon...an AMAZING person & BEST Yoga Teacher .... EVER!!!!!!! Thank You for You💯🤗🌱🙏💖

    • @phytosexual
      @phytosexual  3 роки тому

      Thanks is much, hope to enchant many of your future dishwashing adventures.

  • @hbkid3040
    @hbkid3040 3 роки тому +25

    lol at “Floridamen” and paying them in cigarettes 🤣

    • @RC-rm8pn
      @RC-rm8pn 3 роки тому +1

      What am I missing? Who are floridamen and why would they want to be paid in cigarettes?

  • @AMSanchez18
    @AMSanchez18 3 роки тому +2

    I freaking love your humor!!! Thanks so much for a much needed laugh. Although I do love the P Billiatae😊

  • @SuperCayce
    @SuperCayce 3 роки тому +11

    Instead of an Obliqua, I would rather buy:
    - more Scindapsus pictus, Hoya, and Peperomia plants
    - flower and herb seeds
    - blackberry bushes
    - fruit trees
    - 4' shelves and shop lights for starting thousands of seeds at once
    and then I'd spend the rest impulse buying more pots/planters from estate sales.
    @supercayce

    • @yuukihinamori2310
      @yuukihinamori2310 2 роки тому

      True! I wpuld gladly buy another scindapsus exotica

  • @lillymountainfarm
    @lillymountainfarm 3 роки тому +1

    I'm so glad my UA-cam recommendations threw you into the mix. I love your content lol

  • @shelbyhudson7378
    @shelbyhudson7378 3 роки тому +3

    I will be getting a neon pothos next because I would love a different shade of green to look at☺️

  • @alyssastack1213
    @alyssastack1213 3 роки тому +2

    Your editing is great. I was dying at your editing when you were handling the Firecracker!

  • @plantyjenn
    @plantyjenn 3 роки тому +11

    I’d get a string of turtles before an obliqua. 😊

  • @vanvang621
    @vanvang621 3 роки тому

    I love your quiet demeanor and your dry-wit humor! And editing is perfect!

  • @jonmcintosh8653
    @jonmcintosh8653 2 роки тому +5

    Having to take a 24 hour break following the horse mint story just had me in stitches haha. I love this video style. Also, most of these plants do look like crap. I look at them, and then I look at my glorious 2.5ft alocasia zebrina that was £30 and just think rich people are crazy.

  • @curlsbynat9763
    @curlsbynat9763 Рік тому +2

    Why are you so cute and funny, I am binge-watching all your videos 😁

  • @stevennguyen4993
    @stevennguyen4993 3 роки тому +11

    I wanna buy those red-flowering anthuriums that are discounted at Lowe's for $4. Mostly to spite the crap that's happening in the plant hobby where snobby collectors act like they can talk down to people with 10+ years of experience because they have a humidifier as their crutch to taking care of their plants. I don't care if anyone has one, just don't act like you didn't start the hobby just last March. Half of my collection is older than your hobby.

    • @NefariousSpineLizard
      @NefariousSpineLizard 2 роки тому +2

      Those were some of my first houseplants, they were given to my grandma and I have cared for them since she passed and they are still so beautiful. I would only ever buy one of those hideous collector's plants to chop 'em up and sell as an investment...but tbf when I got my Black Mamba sp., I fell in love with its hideous little leaves and now I can't ;-; I have no idea how this happened. Its so godawful, lmfao.
      On the humidifier thing, they are useful if your humidity can get 30% or lower in your home, but if you are a collector you can just group a crapload together in a bathroom or something. It stays near 80 and I only fill the humidifier once every few months. Same in my sunroom. I almost never refill it outside of the hottest months of the year.
      Idk if I have ever met a plant person who was a humidifier supremacist and I don't think this attitude is very productive, and kinda rubs off the same energy you are criticizing. Unless they are spreading misinfo that is outright damaging, the right move is to simply share what works for you instead of looking down your nose and calling a humidifier a "crutch" when you realize people live in different biomes, and have different living situations? They could be in an area where forced air is a must, etc. Don't be toxic bro plants are to bring joy into our lives, not measure d*cks about who's collection is the oldest, thanks.

    • @NefariousSpineLizard
      @NefariousSpineLizard 2 роки тому +1

      I don't mean to be harsh, but I am frankly rather tired of this "my way is the only way" attitude; straight up someone in one side of the country can use plastic pots, someone else with the exact same schedule elsewhere with the same pots can be met with root rot. Everyone's situation has individual tweaks, and for some velvet leaf anthuriums (especially the ones that are not hybrids) and MANY other species, ambient humidity getting below 50% is going to give you ugly crunchy leaf tips, yellowing, softer leaves/stems etc. My queen in my cloche is doing infinitely better than the one on my shelf. Of course you can acclimate them, but its just silly to act like a humidifier is a poor option to add to that process. I can list so many plants that doubled in growth in my high humidity areas, vs simply grouped.
      Telling people to mist their indoor velvet leaf anthuriums, even calatheas is legit the worst idea ever, and yet, they love it and gets rain in its natural environment. Lots of people live in apartments, in areas with freezing winters, and those species will die in seconds if brought out for it. Solution: warm mist humidifier.
      Calling a very practical addition to noobs' new collection a "crutch" is just ridiculous unless they have enough plants with similar watering habits to raise the ambient humidity around them. This is not possible in large rooms with very high ceilings in many biomes, and they often also require more forced air.
      To anyone reading this, please do not be discouraged by mentalities like this. There are some universal rules to plant care, of course, but every situation is unique in its own way. Take care of your babies in whatever way works for you and welcome to the hobby!

    • @NefariousSpineLizard
      @NefariousSpineLizard 2 роки тому +1

      This is the, "gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss" equivalent to plant care lmaooo

  • @CrystalMendoza05
    @CrystalMendoza05 3 роки тому +1

    The Roz reference got me. That foliage did look like her crackled slug back! 😆

  • @emilyworth8548
    @emilyworth8548 3 роки тому +5

    I’m happy with my run-of-the-mill basic Monstera. I’m on the hunt for a lemon lime maranta because maranta and I understand each other.

  • @shadizaytfriend8559
    @shadizaytfriend8559 3 роки тому +1

    I luv how u talk! its like edgy sassy but also comfy and cute! Ahhh i love it!

    • @phytosexual
      @phytosexual  3 роки тому

      I always aspired to be edgy. You should read some of my Tumblr slam poetry.

    • @shadizaytfriend8559
      @shadizaytfriend8559 3 роки тому

      @@phytosexual Ohhhh MIGHT DO IT LATER!! U R ONE OF MY FAVE PLANT UA-camRS AND HOPE TO SEE MORE GREAT CONTENT! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK! HAVE A GREAT DAY

  • @bryanl9769
    @bryanl9769 3 роки тому +9

    😩 Instead of a monstera obliqua imma just buy a blue orchid, 🥵 a spray painted cactus with a glued flower and ✋🙄horse mints

  • @bwilliams5471
    @bwilliams5471 3 роки тому +1

    You had me on the floor with the cocoa dusted marshmallow. Enjoyed the video, I needed a good laugh!