Hello guys! Thank you for watching this video! I'm sorry this episode was a little on the boring side but you guys will love episode 12! I hope to see you soon!
Here is a critique of this series as a whole, if you do not mind. I will point out the stuff that I liked and stuff that I didnt like, and if you take your time to read this, maybe you can take some advice and improve on the things that I think could be better :) The stuff I liked: +Camera work Your work with the camera is pretty good. You have interesting shots, I like how you use the "expressions" option in the game, I like how you interact with the world and landscape, I like how you use the lead option, I like how you use NPCs and other players in your story alike. Keep this kind of quality up! +The Voiceover Your voice is really nice, I really enjoy listening to it, mainly in the first episode. You can show different emotions quite well, and your voice is expressive. The subtitles in the earlier episodes were nice, but I get that it takes time to add them. +The story (earlier) I usually stop watching SSO series after the first episode when I dont like it, but the first episode of this one interested me and I continued to watch this series. In the earlier episodes, the story was pretty nice. However, I feel like lately the story isnt as good as it used to be, which brings me to... The stuff I didnt like: -The story overall There are multiple problems with your storytelling and I will try to pinpoint the biggest issues I have seen: 1. Consistency - The storyline is a bit of a mess. There are gaps too big - 6 months off of a horse, and once Amber is back on one, she can gallop like there wasnt a gap at all. You mentioned that Amber never tried showjumping and yes, her horse Sapphire dies because of that, but later when Amber jumps on any other horse, she shows no fear of jumping. She repeatedly falls off of horses and returns to it like nothing happened. When Summer is gravely injured and about to be put down, she can somehow run away like a healthy horse would? My point here is: keep the story consistent. write down important character moments and draw from them. 2. Tropes - you used a lot of tropes in a typical star stable series. Girls horse dies in an accident, she gets a new one - a wild one that no one else can tame, the horse has another owner that abuses it... atleast in the later apisodes this seems to have ceased. Just keep a lookout for tropes. 3. Its repetitive - Amber falls off of her horse, comes back after a few weeks. Summer gets stolen/runs away, gets taken by an abusive owner, Amber finds her again. repeat. The story would be the same if you took out some of the parts you repeated and more room would be left for newer ideas, it would improve. It felt like I was watching the same story every episode. So look out for that aswell. 4. Amber herself - I dont really like her character. She is a hypocrite, and when shes in the wrong, it bites her in the butt, yes, but she does nothing to obtain Summer again, it just happens because it does (or she steals her...). Amber as a character was fine in the beginning, but in throughout the episodes, I disliked her more and more. Has she ever tried to better herself? What if she trained and trained and then had a rematch with the original owner of Summer and won the race? That would be a good character motivation for Amber to better herself, and she would work for Summer, Summer wouldnt just fall in her lap. Try to think of things and options like that. Amber showed to be determined. How far is she willing to go in her self discovery to keep Summer? Try new things, and make her WORK herself to achieve her goal. That is all really. Please do not take this as an attack on you or your story, this is merely a list of suggestion on what I think could be improved. I have some experience with story-telling, and flaws in your story are noticeable, but not unfixable. You can take this advice and improve your story-telling. Of course, you dont have to if you dont want to, but I hope you consider this critique. Good luck with your series! :)
FIRST I LOVE YOU BUT BEING FIRST DOES NOT MATTER LOL XX rumor says if you say a you tubers name 5 times you will get pinned!!! 🥰 Sara Youngcamp Sara Youngcamp Sara Youngcamp Sara Youngcamp Sara Youngcamp 😘I hope I can get pinned!!!😋🤩 🤪🤪can this comment also get 100 likes?!🤪🤪 Edit: comment what server you guys are on!!!!!😝🥳
Omg this is the best SSO series out there!!!!! Incredible job!!!! Wow I love this series so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so much!!!!!!!!!!!
Great episode! Too bad sso makes jumps look weird when looking at a different player XD I think that maybe if y'all would play on the same amount of fps maybe it will fix that? I hope this helps! ^^
SUMMER NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!+ I love this series like if you think so too
Yess! I’m not obsessed....who says that? ;)
Same here
“Get into the stall you flee bag”
Me : I can tell I am going to hate you :)
I love this series
Lol, same. xD
Lol not
My horse
Is a flee
Bag so I don’t mind
@@ianmagner2626 someone should call you a flea bag
Oh my god 😨 the ending shocked me
omgg i see you everywhere wthh
zoey bravemoon its just a good series c:
@@brionyh ikr! i love her voice so much btw :")
SAME
Me when I see the ending: HOLY JESUS!!
my Mum when sees the ending: * blood curdling scream*
Here is a critique of this series as a whole, if you do not mind. I will point out the stuff that I liked and stuff that I didnt like, and if you take your time to read this, maybe you can take some advice and improve on the things that I think could be better :)
The stuff I liked:
+Camera work
Your work with the camera is pretty good. You have interesting shots, I like how you use the "expressions" option in the game, I like how you interact with the world and landscape, I like how you use the lead option, I like how you use NPCs and other players in your story alike. Keep this kind of quality up!
+The Voiceover
Your voice is really nice, I really enjoy listening to it, mainly in the first episode. You can show different emotions quite well, and your voice is expressive. The subtitles in the earlier episodes were nice, but I get that it takes time to add them.
+The story (earlier)
I usually stop watching SSO series after the first episode when I dont like it, but the first episode of this one interested me and I continued to watch this series. In the earlier episodes, the story was pretty nice. However, I feel like lately the story isnt as good as it used to be, which brings me to...
The stuff I didnt like:
-The story overall
There are multiple problems with your storytelling and I will try to pinpoint the biggest issues I have seen:
1. Consistency - The storyline is a bit of a mess. There are gaps too big - 6 months off of a horse, and once Amber is back on one, she can gallop like there wasnt a gap at all. You mentioned that Amber never tried showjumping and yes, her horse Sapphire dies because of that, but later when Amber jumps on any other horse, she shows no fear of jumping. She repeatedly falls off of horses and returns to it like nothing happened. When Summer is gravely injured and about to be put down, she can somehow run away like a healthy horse would? My point here is: keep the story consistent. write down important character moments and draw from them.
2. Tropes - you used a lot of tropes in a typical star stable series. Girls horse dies in an accident, she gets a new one - a wild one that no one else can tame, the horse has another owner that abuses it... atleast in the later apisodes this seems to have ceased. Just keep a lookout for tropes.
3. Its repetitive - Amber falls off of her horse, comes back after a few weeks. Summer gets stolen/runs away, gets taken by an abusive owner, Amber finds her again. repeat. The story would be the same if you took out some of the parts you repeated and more room would be left for newer ideas, it would improve. It felt like I was watching the same story every episode. So look out for that aswell.
4. Amber herself - I dont really like her character. She is a hypocrite, and when shes in the wrong, it bites her in the butt, yes, but she does nothing to obtain Summer again, it just happens because it does (or she steals her...). Amber as a character was fine in the beginning, but in throughout the episodes, I disliked her more and more. Has she ever tried to better herself? What if she trained and trained and then had a rematch with the original owner of Summer and won the race? That would be a good character motivation for Amber to better herself, and she would work for Summer, Summer wouldnt just fall in her lap. Try to think of things and options like that. Amber showed to be determined. How far is she willing to go in her self discovery to keep Summer? Try new things, and make her WORK herself to achieve her goal.
That is all really. Please do not take this as an attack on you or your story, this is merely a list of suggestion on what I think could be improved. I have some experience with story-telling, and flaws in your story are noticeable, but not unfixable. You can take this advice and improve your story-telling. Of course, you dont have to if you dont want to, but I hope you consider this critique. Good luck with your series! :)
OrcaPlayer wow really Good feed back. I think it Will help her lods;)
Some of this is VERY offensive.. BUT overall your review is kinda accurate
TarianAnd TheGachaSquad How is it offensive?
OrcaPlayer cool. But way too loooooooong like I’m not reading all of that but the part I did read was very good
The fact that i read all of it
best sso series ever!
SUMMER o0o!
Can't wait episode 12. I'm seriously in love with the series!
0:21 *in the background “I’m watching you”*
At the end I was like you better not pull that darn trigger
FIRST I LOVE YOU BUT BEING FIRST DOES NOT MATTER LOL XX
rumor says if you say a you tubers name 5 times you will get pinned!!! 🥰
Sara Youngcamp
Sara Youngcamp
Sara Youngcamp
Sara Youngcamp
Sara Youngcamp
😘I hope I can get pinned!!!😋🤩
🤪🤪can this comment also get 100 likes?!🤪🤪
Edit: comment what server you guys are on!!!!!😝🥳
👏🏻👏🏻
Pancake mountain (server)
Haha, I'm on Cloudy Rock DE5
Rumour says if you find someone asking for likes do six laughing faces
😂 😂😂😂😂😂
Cupcake Valley
I like this series soo much 💞💞
I don’t know if I can wait for 12 x3 I’m in love with this. 😍
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK CLIFFHANGER! poor summer!
Her: *trying to tame summer*
Her: if you dont stop I'm gonna get my crop
Me: *dammit your trying to tame the horse*
Plz make fearless 12 and I've lost the internet connection
Omg this is the best SSO series out there!!!!! Incredible job!!!! Wow I love this series so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so much!!!!!!!!!!!
“Get into the stall you flee bag”
Me= why is you telling yourself to go in le stall?
OMG I loved thisss
I love this series! Can't wait for next friday😍 But ZOE, DON'T KILL SUMMER!!!
Im not this far in the series, but im early! soo, Hi again :D Also, what editor and screen recorder do you use?
I love the Fearless episodes. They are so awesome!
Please make number 12 im dying i love this series!!!!! I see what you did with the cliffhanger!
I played Rebecca white! Thank you, Sara, for letting me be in this video! It means a lot! :3
I NEED EPISODE 12!!!!! this is such a cool series!!!!!!
I'm in love with this series
Yay! I LOVE it! I''ve been waiting for this one. I hope ep. 12 comes out soon.
Bahaha I was there 😂 I was one of the only chill people while everyone was yelling
Best series ever seen!! Loving it
OMG TACO THIS WAS SO GOOD! GREAT JOB GIRLIE
First! 😍😍
YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB ON THIS SERIES! KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK!
I thought this was like a five part series, but now I'm on ep. 11 and it’s too late, I am emotionally invested.
I was Rebecca White! So glad I could be part of this.
I am totally obsessed! I want to know what happens to summer! Can't wait until the next episode!!
I LOVE THIS SERIES AND I WAS LOOKING FORWARD FOR THE LAST EPISODE BUT I WAS QUITE DISAPPOINTED ABOUT THE SHOOTING SUMMER!!
More more more😍😍😍😍😍😍 haha i say this in evry video
LOVE THIS SERIES SOO MUCH!
The beginning and end made me cry 😢
Thank you I am in love with this series
This series is the bomb
If I’m being honest, this wasn’t the most exciting video... but i still love it 😊 (apart from the end)
Summer is so beautiful! I am getting star rider at Christmas so the first horse I’m buying is the lusitano buck skin!
I love this series
Please make a part 12
I love this series! And I love how active you are on it! You post this series so often, it’s wonderful! Keep going! :)
OMG I love this! Keep up the good work!!
the ending tho.. im so SHOOK
OMG I LOVE THIS SERIES
I luv the series keep going forward!!!
When that girl shot Sumer I was like “omg I hate you already u jerk” she don’t deserve that pretty horse :(
*buys horse for 75,000*
Calls it a fleabag.
👍 K
I love these episodes you should make more
I CANT WAIT FOR THE EP 12
O.M.G I love this sooo much!
Oh God lol can't wait for the next one
I love this it's so cool
How dare you leave me like that! IM GOING TO DIEEEEE
OMG Suuuuuu early yuss finally okay sorry
Me checking if I’m on the right episode:
*Goes back to previous one:*
*Amber gets smacked in the face*
Well there’s my answer.
Heck heck heck heck heck ~horse misses every jump ~ Me~ OMG WHAT
Your vids are amazing! I hoped I could do this but it never works out, ❤️ yours are perfect!
HOLY!!! ITS A CLIFFHANGER
yayaayayayayayayayay I love this seris!
Ugh that girl said "I'm tired of useless horses like you!" ugh I'm so angry I'm like why did you buy her then!
I LOVE THIS❤❤❤❤❤
I’m just staring at myself in the video
I love youuuuuuuuu sooooo muchhhhhhhhhhhh and I loveeeeeeeeee horsesssssssssssssssssss 🐎
REE IVE WAITED FOREVER
Great episode! Too bad sso makes jumps look weird when looking at a different player XD I think that maybe if y'all would play on the same amount of fps maybe it will fix that? I hope this helps! ^^
Omg Sara it was such an honour to work with you I am Hayden and I hope I can help again
love it keep it up!
Me: after this episode I’m gonna play star stable
Me at the end: or maybe nit
JEEEESSS EP 11😍😍😍😍😍
That ending though...
Love it
It hurts thinking that some people actually treat their horse like that
NOOO SUMMER 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭THIS CANT BE THE END
YESSS SHE FIXED THE GROSS MANEEE
YAY GREAT VIDEO also i hope summer will be ok D: (can i help with the next video?)
First 🤩🤩🤩❤️
I hate cliff hangers aaaaa I need more
KEEP MAKING MOREEEEE
plz make more there amazing
No Summer! You can't die ):
Omg this is Amazingg! What server are you onn? and if it's cupcake valley may i help with the series? xo
hey I love your videos
Wow, SUMMER DESERVES BETTER
Good job!
Omg by a little part i am standing there in dundull haha ivanna deerwlof
*I.NEED.MORE*
all the horses land in the jumps lol
0:19 That one girl spying on them: Woah un juego de roles
Oh sh*t that end though
Omd
Oh my dog 🐶
Oh my dog
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM CRYING, DON'T KILL SUMMER!!
OMG NOOO SUMMER NOOOOOO PLS DONT KILL POOR INNOCENT SUMMER!
The end :O
Omg love you
Amazing episode! When comes episode 12 out?
I agree
Yasss! :D (I'm late)