I use a Passy Muir Valve. I'm using it right at this very second as I speak. I know what it is like not to be able to speak. For four days, I was unable to speak. On October 2nd, 2015, I would undergo a tracheostomy. It is actually one month ago from this very day. It was a Friday. Waking up on the ventilator unable to speak was awful. That day going without speaking, and communicating only with the use of my fist to the bed rale and then with my Iphone, I would write out what I needed to say, after getting the attention of the Pulmonary ICU Staff by forcefully hitting the hospital bed rale. Friday night, I got maybe 30 minutes of sleep if that. I spent the rest lying in the bed listening to music on my Iphone, and when I needed to say something, I used my Iphone. Saturday afternoon, they attempted the Passy Muir Valve, but were unsuccessful. I knew it would take a couple of days, from my experience in the medical field. I knew the swelling would have to go down. Even though, I knew this, It still was crushing not to be able to speak. Saturday night, I again did not get much sleep, and not being able to talk made me feel just awful. Sunday I'm glad I slept most of the day. I needed to speak orally again, and not being able to felt like being trapped in a nightmare. It was the silent scream of a ventilator dependant patient. Sunday night I didn't get much sleep. Monday, I was able to start speaking very very slightly with much effort, and much much effort at that. It was Monday evening when I really started to feel like I was waking up from the world's quietest nightmare. Tuesday, I could speak with a slightly bit less effort with the Passy Muir Valve. I worked myself to exhaustion and pushed myself to the breaking point. I could speak somewhat and was going to do it at my best effort. By Wednesday, when they put in the Fenostrated Trach tube, and I could speak so much easier, I almost screamed out at the top of my lungs I was so happy. I want to give the universe's credit to David Muir. I know what it is like not speaking. To think that people can be without that ability for months and even years, and they can survive? I thought I was going to die from not being able to speak. Its the silent scream, nobody wants to utter, because it is too silent. The Dr. who performed the trach had to say to my Mother, "Mam? I'm sorry for having to shut your son up for four days." I remember it so clearly.
I use a Passy Muir Valve. I'm using it right at this very second as I speak. I know what it is like not to be able to speak. For four days, I was unable to speak. On October 2nd, 2015, I would undergo a tracheostomy. It is actually one month ago from this very day. It was a Friday. Waking up on the ventilator unable to speak was awful. That day going without speaking, and communicating only with the use of my fist to the bed rale and then with my Iphone, I would write out what I needed to say, after getting the attention of the Pulmonary ICU Staff by forcefully hitting the hospital bed rale. Friday night, I got maybe 30 minutes of sleep if that. I spent the rest lying in the bed listening to music on my Iphone, and when I needed to say something, I used my Iphone. Saturday afternoon, they attempted the Passy Muir Valve, but were unsuccessful. I knew it would take a couple of days, from my experience in the medical field. I knew the swelling would have to go down. Even though, I knew this, It still was crushing not to be able to speak. Saturday night, I again did not get much sleep, and not being able to talk made me feel just awful. Sunday I'm glad I slept most of the day. I needed to speak orally again, and not being able to felt like being trapped in a nightmare. It was the silent scream of a ventilator dependant patient. Sunday night I didn't get much sleep. Monday, I was able to start speaking very very slightly with much effort, and much much effort at that. It was Monday evening when I really started to feel like I was waking up from the world's quietest nightmare. Tuesday, I could speak with a slightly bit less effort with the Passy Muir Valve. I worked myself to exhaustion and pushed myself to the breaking point. I could speak somewhat and was going to do it at my best effort. By Wednesday, when they put in the Fenostrated Trach tube, and I could speak so much easier, I almost screamed out at the top of my lungs I was so happy. I want to give the universe's credit to David Muir. I know what it is like not speaking. To think that people can be without that ability for months and even years, and they can survive? I thought I was going to die from not being able to speak. Its the silent scream, nobody wants to utter, because it is too silent. The Dr. who performed the trach had to say to my Mother, "Mam? I'm sorry for having to shut your son up for four days." I remember it so clearly.