Choosing to Remain Single After Divorce

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  • Опубліковано 18 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 101

  • @nanat9178
    @nanat9178 3 роки тому +67

    I want to be single because I gave too much away and ended up getting back stabbed all because I believed, let my guard down, I have paid s huge price. And I just want to focus on myself ! No more giving away. 🙏

  • @veganc5028
    @veganc5028 3 роки тому +38

    I have been married three times and was never happy in any of them. I decided to stay single and have been for eight years, and I am happier than ever. I don't even want to date. I enjoy being by myself.

  • @deeasztalos2520
    @deeasztalos2520 2 роки тому +22

    I'm now 65 and was married twice. My second divorce was unwanted and after almost 10 years it still hurts. I don't ever want to feel that way again. I have huge trust issues now. I have no interest in dating either. Just like you said - I am just tired. I am happy with my decision.

  • @Pier77Tampa
    @Pier77Tampa 3 роки тому +65

    Divorce is a second chance to love ourselves like never before

    • @EmilyGloeggler7984
      @EmilyGloeggler7984 2 роки тому

      Divorce is not a second chance. It is a selfish evil that has consequences for those who do divorce.

    • @msliberated3899
      @msliberated3899 Рік тому +1

      @@EmilyGloeggler7984 ? What’s the consequences if God never ordained it?

    • @amandarecoveryjones8216
      @amandarecoveryjones8216 Рік тому

      I love that, thank you ❤

  • @michaeltazanu4581
    @michaeltazanu4581 3 роки тому +22

    Staying single you don’t have to deal with answering to the bullshit of other peoples thoughts

  • @marciaavila4015
    @marciaavila4015 2 роки тому +29

    I would prefer to dedicate my time into raising my kid. My kid is somewhat close to adulthood. Bittersweet. My divorce made me change my complete perspective on love and relationships. After my divorce, I saw red flags 🚩 and I would run. There was no contemplating whether or not this person was good, "are they good for me?" Dating and relationships are emotionally draining. I much rather invest my time and energy into making memories with my kid, being present, having conversations, taking trips together and the rest of my free time for close family and friends. It's ok to be single. Trust me, some people only wish they were (but won't confess it). Stay well.

  • @cd1452
    @cd1452 3 роки тому +14

    Thank you sharing. I'm 36 and I've been divorced for almost a year. Was married for almost a decade. Really been thinking about this. Not interested in the casual hook up culture either. Really liking being alone.

  • @C2112-s7y
    @C2112-s7y 3 роки тому +14

    Best advice on the internet, well done. I have been single for 10 years following my divorce, decided to concentrate on bringing up my children without the complications of a new wife / partner. Now they are adults, I still do not want to get into another relationship. Being single and independent is liberating. Unfortunately much of society does not understand this.

    • @msliberated3899
      @msliberated3899 Рік тому +1

      They really don’t understand this but they somewhat do but don’t have the courage and strength to do so. They are codependent and need constant outside validation. Misery loves company!

  • @ghosts231
    @ghosts231 Рік тому +5

    I am within weeks of being divorced ( no children, no pets) and am relishing being single after 27 years - 20 years married and 7 years prior to that in a live- in relationship. I don’t envision ever going through it again. NO MORE REGRETS. Your video is excellent!

  • @luismedina2004
    @luismedina2004 3 роки тому +14

    I don't want or need an intimate relationship. going through divorce almost there! focusing on taking care of myself and the spiritual side. i can sleep at night. I am happy now. I feel good. Thank you God for showing me the light at the end of this dark tunnel. Whew.

  • @mikeroybal7923
    @mikeroybal7923 Рік тому +9

    I been divorced over eight years and it’s been ok, because of how I believe in the Bible for remarrying it’s been a experience to get used to. I got rid of my roommates also and living alone is so peaceful. I realize that I am meant to be alone.

    • @msliberated3899
      @msliberated3899 Рік тому +1

      God knows best, he’s trying to spare us further burdens and pains.

  • @MAA77723
    @MAA77723 2 роки тому +11

    I’m recently divorced after 29 years of marriage. I’m excited to live the rest of my life single and kind to me!

  • @sandramiles8390
    @sandramiles8390 3 роки тому +19

    Thank you Lisa for the 100% on-point video! I've been married twice, divorced twice, as well as a long disastrous dating history. I've been single and celibate for 6 yrs now by choice. Best decision I have ever made. I'm 56, and it took me over 30 yrs to figure this out. I chose me, not out of fear, but out of a deeply personal journey of discovery, truth, transparency, and acceptance. I have chosen to remain Happily, Peacefully, and Healthily single and celibate by way of, Self Discovery, Self Actualization, Self Acceptance, and a deep sense of Self Awareness. This was not an easy journey, but a necessary one. I have found my happy place, my balance, my zen.

    • @jgator6694
      @jgator6694 3 роки тому +2

      My story is similar to yours and I also have chosen to remain single. I am happy, independent, self sufficient and have learned to love and value myself. Men…in my experience, have not been genuine to me..

    • @EmilyGloeggler7984
      @EmilyGloeggler7984 2 роки тому +1

      @@jgator6694 Even if they are genuine and telling the truth, they are not worth to marry. They can either do as you have done and remain happily single and chaste or they can find someone else.

    • @ITSEDUCATION369
      @ITSEDUCATION369 2 роки тому

      I need some people like you

    • @brendagrace7593
      @brendagrace7593 Рік тому

      I'm doing all of that too!! I'm so much happier with friends family my alone time hobbies my health and career travelling it's amazing

  • @michaeltazanu4581
    @michaeltazanu4581 3 роки тому +6

    Tired of being used and taken granted for I’m done

  • @elizabethsheldon4256
    @elizabethsheldon4256 3 роки тому +6

    Freedom and no drama is best!

  • @miguelvera7941
    @miguelvera7941 3 роки тому +4

    I ve been divorced going on 14years and my life has changed for the better

  • @chobo9724
    @chobo9724 3 роки тому +16

    100% I'm staying single out of fear. Found out my wife was cheating on me for two years in our 11 year marriage. I've tried dating, but every time I have a date go well, I just withdraw and don't want to move forward. Two of the women have stuck around as friends though, so that's nice.

    • @nickibella2704
      @nickibella2704 3 роки тому +1

      I'm so excited my broken marriage has been restored my ex lover is back after he left me and our kids for another woman. I was so happy to me (MR OSEKHAMETALOR) how he help many people to bring there lover back.,

    • @nickibella2704
      @nickibella2704 3 роки тому

      Whstapp me

    • @nickibella2704
      @nickibella2704 3 роки тому

      +1 9-7-2 5 3 4-8 3 9 9

    • @tashamarshall5960
      @tashamarshall5960 2 роки тому

      Bless you I understand your pain. But stay posative my freind you deserve someone who only has dues for you and there someone out there for you it never ever ever works after one has cheated and especially if they have repeatedly cheated on you . I was ready to spend my whole life with my husband 😩 now I have to start again I've been abused and cheated on and broken but I will not carry this evil soulless man ruin my heart or soul I believe there's a real true faithful love out there for me.. I'm a good catch I cook all different foods and I'm Faithfull and trustworthy.. I've been getting divorced in my head for over a year now he's literally been fucking prozzys that's put at risk of sexual dieseas everything.. him and his drug addicts all thoughts they had one over on me joking about Me and laffjn bec my hubz was fucking a prozzy behind My back and they was just raking piss out of me not realising I knew everything I'm not stupid... its shows these people IQ levels tbh hahaha realy thought u was laughing bout me behind my back .... just take it easy this time find the right person don't just rub into a relationship or a marriage... I just want to find a real man looking for stability Nd to plan a future with if not then maybe I'm just supposed to have loads of fuck buddies 🤔 💯 🤷 life aye totally crazy married 1 min then sleeping about the next but never lowrs yourself to a cheat xxxx

  • @hopefully2224
    @hopefully2224 2 роки тому +14

    The majority of men I've dated since my divorce 12 years ago are not worth the effort. Whether they are liars, lazy, or loose...im turned off. I can have sex anytime I want and to be honest being in a power position is much better than being a maid, cook & live sex doll to a man who thinks he doesn't have to contribute. I'm happily done!

    • @healingonesmindset
      @healingonesmindset 2 роки тому +1

      This nicely sums up my 7 year marriage! Finally had enough! Going through a divorce now!

  • @michaelbrenton4380
    @michaelbrenton4380 2 роки тому +3

    I agree with you 100%. I've been divorced since July 1993. I forget. It's been so long. I tried dating after divorce & no relationships lasted. And now I'm very happy living alone.

  • @timlowe819
    @timlowe819 3 роки тому +20

    I'm 54 years old and have been divorced for 20 years. No relationships. I wanted to consintrate on my kids because I was only a part time dad. I wanted the time I had with them to be just us. Now they are grown I want to start dating and have a relationship. I have found out it is hard to even find someone to date. I did what I thought was best for me and my kids and wouldn't change the decision I made.

    • @yakinsingh1110
      @yakinsingh1110 3 роки тому +3

      I am 30 in the middle of divorce proceedings and I have a very young daughter, I intend on choosing the path you have taken, my girl is my priority and my sole purpose is to be a good Father to her. Encouraging to read your comment.

    • @805hiker2
      @805hiker2 2 роки тому +1

      This is my plan as well. I’m 45 with 2 boys, 8 and 10. No desire to be in a relationship at the moment after going through separation and now divorce.

  • @abelreturnstoeden2130
    @abelreturnstoeden2130 3 роки тому +6

    Dear Lisa,
    How are thee? I honestly have to say that was one of the most balanced statements I have heard on UA-cam from a woman or a man for that matter. Well done! Very well done!!
    I especially liked your focus on being self aware as a condition for staying single as a reasoned stance.
    I was married for almost 25 years when I filed for divorce from my wife. No children and no alimony! I have been celibate for over 7 years now. I am in my middle fifty’s and I have to say it was the best decision I have ever made in my entire life, hands down! I am free, in decent health and have a strong faith life, challenging career and good support network/ good friends!
    I realize also that I never would have been this together in my life if I had not been married too. So I don’t really regret being married.
    However, I feel that people, especially MEN, should NOT get married again after age 45 or 50.
    One has at least another 30-40 years of good life left and ya don’t want to “screw” it up once one has found themselves again.
    Friends! You have the rest of your life. Live it for God then yourself! 😎
    You won’t be sorry!!! 😁
    Thanks again Lisa! Peace and Love! 😻

    • @mikeroybal7923
      @mikeroybal7923 Рік тому +1

      Thanks for your comment, I been divorced over eight years and am 62 so I do agree with you. Also being a Christian I follow the word of God

  • @salasbns
    @salasbns Місяць тому

    Thank you for posting this. I'm recently divorced and have been pursued by two individuals but not feeling ready to date. I'm choosing to stay single until it feels right.

  • @yolandaholliday4964
    @yolandaholliday4964 Рік тому +1

    I’m happy to know that I am not the only one who feels this way.

  • @nessa123456978
    @nessa123456978 3 роки тому +3

    I love My life, myself after my divorce I am 40 and Fabolous, we as couple men and women give so much to our couple and kids that we forget about us, so as I grow and evolve I prefer to stay single, and have real friends, but no couples I just not in to that, what I have learned I am completed within myself.

  • @giuseppep7547
    @giuseppep7547 3 роки тому +3

    Lisa, you are 100% right!

  • @CaToRi-
    @CaToRi- 3 роки тому +5

    I lived the good and the bad, I had wonderful moments and awful ones. There’s nothing new to learn in a new relationship. But I need to have peace and find myself again. To change the shape I adopted for many years in order to make things work... live in a de-cluttered place without mess... without spending a lot of time tidying up because of all the unnecessary stuff. I need long vacations.

    • @msliberated3899
      @msliberated3899 Рік тому

      Yes that cleaning constantly after an adult child is slavery

  • @marvanewborn2287
    @marvanewborn2287 3 роки тому +10

    😗I'VE BEEN MARRIED TWICE AND BOTH MARRIAGES ENDED IN "THEIR" ADULTERY (6YRS AND 20 YEARS) I'M "DONE"!!! 😗

    • @nickibella2704
      @nickibella2704 3 роки тому

      I'm so excited my broken marriage has been restored my ex lover is back after he left me and our kids for another woman. I was so happy to me (MR OSEKHAMETALOR) how he help many people to bring there lover back.,

    • @nickibella2704
      @nickibella2704 3 роки тому

      Whstapp me

    • @nickibella2704
      @nickibella2704 3 роки тому

      +1 9-7-2 5 3 4-8 3 9 9

  • @kw7796
    @kw7796 3 роки тому +2

    Really great message. Thank you.

  • @radiodude4282
    @radiodude4282 Рік тому +2

    3rd time was not a charm for me, I believe I'm just good being single.

  • @queendivine3044
    @queendivine3044 2 роки тому +1

    I'm glad I found your channel. In a world where everyone wants to give label and title when talking about other people's business that is none of theirs. Woman who don't care to have a dating life or a relationship are not broken woman who need love or a dating partner they are deserving of being unapologetically happy with the beautiful blessing of others minding their own business. What a beautiful peaceful thing to lose yourself behind the weight of others in your affairs and bussiness which only causede deep depression to leaving those people behind moving far away from this people and that place and finding yourself. Love your self and more importantly never allow anyone behind their beliefs system talk nonsense behind their religious beliefs system to tell you that you are gracefully broken. People who are very judgemental and full of their own opinions about who other people should be and need to be believe that they need to break someone and mold them into who they believe they need to be. Think of this Truth you should never be picked out and messed with and broken down into being what others believe you need to be neither behind someone else's beliefs system or ect. You just need to work on you and be who you deserve and need to be find yourself and become beautifully and unapologetically yourself. Live for you be you to thy own self be true. As long as you know you know how to love, cherish and take of you then do what you know how to do best for you don't be what the world wants you to be be you. You are who you need let know one on this planet break you down to tell you that you need to be broken down in order to be with someone else. You are that someone you need you. You don't need many friends but when you choose your friendship choose those who bring out the best in you and add to your peace not take from it and don't mistake disrespect for attention because some people are not good for you.

  • @beverlysarmiento3903
    @beverlysarmiento3903 3 роки тому +1

    I was stuck in life, playing games all day and doing nothing, and then a friend introduced me to this program called Forwago. Now I'm on a clear path forward and enjoy every day.

  • @bobbysgirl8365
    @bobbysgirl8365 Рік тому

    Thanks for making this video. I'm middle aged and will not date oe entertain any romance. I am too old to meet someone then it goes to crap and then I waste years " healing" from another narcissistic sadistic individual. My therapist told me the truth , due to your past you will keeo attracting these people. I had over 12 years of therapy know red flags have boundaries but.... I still met these sick people then hated myself. My therapist told the truth that so many other therapists deny their client. Its too late my childhood set this blueprint. I am ok with being alone its been over a decade now. Hope will never set you free only the cold truth will.

  • @VPSantiago
    @VPSantiago Рік тому +1

    I'm still married almost 15 years. I think I realized in the past few years that I would be so much happier alone and not married again, it's definitely not what it is cracked up to me, I don't really desire a lot of what partnership brings. I feel bad as it might impact my wife and child. So I'm staying and trying my best in therapy and I don't know what to do.

  • @furniturerepairguy5107
    @furniturerepairguy5107 9 місяців тому

    Good advice!

  • @benniepretorius4352
    @benniepretorius4352 Рік тому +2

    After 3 failed marriages at 50 years old . I dont want to get hurt again and again .

    • @lisaarends8742
      @lisaarends8742  Рік тому +2

      I totally understand that desire not to get hurt. Please be careful that it doesn't mean that you fail to live. At 50, you have so many years ahead of you.

    • @benniepretorius4352
      @benniepretorius4352 Рік тому

      @@lisaarends8742 cheers thank you

    • @andybeltran2311
      @andybeltran2311 5 місяців тому

      I feel the same

  • @jehrreich
    @jehrreich Рік тому

    This helped me a lot, thank you 🙌🏻

  • @benniepretorius4352
    @benniepretorius4352 Рік тому

    Awesome video . Keep up the good work

  • @jonesy2892
    @jonesy2892 Місяць тому

    I'm just happier being single. I really like the freedom and now I can focus on bettering my own life and future instead of someone else's. Plus, I have a kid and I don't want any new partner coming in telling me how to raise my kid.

  • @bobgrady2277
    @bobgrady2277 Місяць тому +1

    I have been happily divorced for 40 years, and they have been the happiest years of my life. I haven't given up on woman though, I have dated over 90 woman only for casual sex. Take it from me marriage is the leading cause of divorce. Marriage is a terrible idea for most ambitious men. Keep state divorce laws out of out of your business and finances. STAY SINGLE! you can still have amazing intimate relationships with beautiful woman without getting married.

  • @berec52
    @berec52 3 роки тому +3

    Bingo!

  • @anniealexander9616
    @anniealexander9616 7 місяців тому

    I'm tired! I'm twice divorced and raised the kids alone. I get asked out on dates and even marriage offers but I don't want to go back to cooking, cleaning, doing all the laundry, and being the bread winner. I feel like if men had more to offer, I would choose differently.

  • @djeemeehandrick7434
    @djeemeehandrick7434 3 роки тому

    I love your videos! Thank you

  • @philaman1972
    @philaman1972 6 місяців тому

    If you elect to get married, who you choose to marry will unquestionably be the most significant decision you will ever make in your life. Generally speaking, marriage is not compulsory, but so many people think they "need" to get married for one reason or another. They say to themselves "I am in love and want to spend the rest of my life with this person" without fully understanding themselves or the person they married. Often times, people's perceptions and expectations of marriage are not reality and they are unable or unwilling to make the sacrifices or honor the commitments they made during the wedding ceremony in order to "keep the peace" and "make things work".
    If you think about marriage even from a common sense POV, it has an escape hatch called "divorce". To use an analogy, would you buy a house that has a risk of collapsing? Or a car that has a risk of exploding? Simply put, marriage is a gamble and those who play take on that inherent risk. Is it better to have "loved" than to have never loved at all? That is for *you* to decide. 52m, never married and no children.

  • @michaeltazanu4581
    @michaeltazanu4581 3 роки тому +4

    I will never get married again. I dated a few times after and it was shitty. Perhaps it me but I know marriage is for the birds

  • @qualityp84
    @qualityp84 3 роки тому

    Is it normal and in men because my only reason in life is my children’s people tell me is not normal

    • @nickibella2704
      @nickibella2704 3 роки тому

      I'm so excited my broken marriage has been restored my ex lover is back after he left me and our kids for another woman. I was so happy to me (MR OSEKHAMETALOR) how he help many people to bring there lover back.,

    • @nickibella2704
      @nickibella2704 3 роки тому

      Whstapp me

    • @nickibella2704
      @nickibella2704 3 роки тому

      +1 9-7-2 5 3 4-8 3 9 9

  • @mattlangevin9167
    @mattlangevin9167 3 місяці тому

    Vulnerability way overrated

  • @christinalubumad
    @christinalubumad 3 роки тому +1

    😂SOMETIMES THERE'S SOME OTHER THINGS SOUNDS SILLY TO ME. WHY MOST PEOPLE THINKS THEY CAN PREDICT ANYBODY'S FUTURE. ANYWAY I' M ALWAYS SINGLE, AND I LOVED IT. 😂

    • @christinalubumad
      @christinalubumad Рік тому

      @@Home19888 😂Wahahaha that’s what most people said but I never had a conversation with anybody about marriage. I rather be alone and Happy than dealing with liars . So is my age really matters 😂❤️✌️

    • @christinalubumad
      @christinalubumad Рік тому

      @@Home19888 😂Wahahaha thank you but I’m not interesting. My son is almost the same age with you . 😂❤️✌️

    • @christinalubumad
      @christinalubumad Рік тому

      @@Home19888 I’m old enough to be your mother. Find someone your age to marry ok dear ❤️✌️

    • @christinalubumad
      @christinalubumad Рік тому

      @@Home19888 😂All my life ,😂anymore questions ? 😂 Ooooooops 😂

    • @christinalubumad
      @christinalubumad Рік тому

      @@Home19888 😂Just look at most of us tried to lies . I think most people likes to marry but not me . Let them be cuz they knows what’s they’re dealing with wahahaha . Liars liars liars everywhere , ohhhhhh I forgot , people get married and divorce but me , never get marry and most liars said about divorce omg . Isn’t that funny 😂😂😂😂❤️✌️

  • @stevengeorgecook755
    @stevengeorgecook755 10 місяців тому

    Hello beautiful ❤

  • @denisguerrero9794
    @denisguerrero9794 3 роки тому +1

    I'm divorce & single & and paying child support.
    I got two more years until Child Support is over and then I'll be a free man again .
    I choose to be single and when I start thinking about a relationship it pisses me off😂😊😲😲.
    I'm focusing on myself what do I want in life ! I'm chasing my goals and dreams NOW It's All About Me! I'm selfish now all well people who judge me didn't lose s*** in a divorce Like I did !

  • @EmilyGloeggler7984
    @EmilyGloeggler7984 2 роки тому +1

    I disagree with you on the final point, which is hypocritical to what you earlier said multiple times in the video. To those who, after thoroughly weighing all options, and yet make the mature and thoughtful decision to never marry or even date or be romantically involved with with anyone again - they are wise and truly mature. I'm disappointed in you Lisa - given that you've spoken the unpopular but ever 100% solid truth until the end commentary by you. I'm sorry for the terrible loss you endured by your husband's adultery - know that God will avenge you, but hopefully, if its not too late, May God save the soul of your husband who betrayed you as well as yourself - even if he never returns to you. One does the right thing by staying single and such people will earn great respect. Do not ever be ashamed to remain single, regardless if you were betrayed/or if you betrayed and divorced your spouse - though in the latter case, you will be held accountable for the divorce by God, if you are a woman and you divorced your husband or if you are a man and there was no just cause to divorce - and especially if you are a widow or widower. If my husband ever left me or even if he died, I will remain single for the rest of my life. Not out of fear of never finding lust or romantic love - I could always find plenty of decent people however because I do not need to take them romantically. I'm not afraid of dying a single woman. I want to remain single after my husband joins the Lord. I'm doing what works and fits for me. I find I'm happier focusing on God and obeying Him and either remaining a widow or single is a blessing and freedom. I can help others and be responsible and caring for my friends and family and strangers and waiting to reunite with my dead husband in eternity. As for those who encourage divorce or remarriage - whether it's a secular divorce or a so-called "Christian" divorce, which is contrary to what God teaches - Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery. (Mark 10:11-12)
    Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced from her husband commits adultery. (Luke 16:18) Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge. (Hebrews 13:4; see also 1 Corinthians 6:9-10; Revelation 21:8) Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife. (1 Corinthians 7:10-11, see also verse 27 "loosed from a wife")
    When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some uncleanness in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house, when she has departed from his house, and goes and becomes another man's wife, if the latter husband detests her and writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband dies who took her as his wife, then her former husband who divorced her must not take her back to be his wife after she has been defiled; for that is an abomination before the LORD, and you shall not bring sin on the land which the LORD your God is giving you as an inheritance. (Deuteronomy 24:1-4) Romans 7:2-3 - For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man..
    ... and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery. (Matthew 5:32)
    . . . and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery. (Matthew 19:9)
    The unbeliever is the one to blame for the divorce. The unbeliever is the one who has separated what God had joined together (Matthew 19:6) by refusing to live with their spouse. "what God has joined together, let not man separate (Matthew 19:6).
    Psalm 119:158 well describes a godly perspective on the matter. -
    I see the treacherous, and am disgusted, because they do not keep Your word. (Psalm 119:158)

  • @heavyrightfoot7947
    @heavyrightfoot7947 2 роки тому

    If a woman can't get an alpha she'll fall on her sword.

  • @DeborahOgden-i8q
    @DeborahOgden-i8q 17 днів тому

    It was a waste of my time

  • @grant2149
    @grant2149 2 роки тому +1

    It is biblical because you are still bound to the marriage.
    Only death disolves it.