SUCK VS SUCK: KISS - Crazy Nights Vs Van Halen - For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge
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- Опубліковано 22 сер 2024
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I’m a big Van Hagar fan but I fucking love your passion-hate for Sammy. I’ve got mad respect for your brutal opinions. Stay Real!
He outdid himself here...and I like Sammy Hagar's early solo material as well as Read My Body.
I always liked Sammy as a guy. Hated him as a solo artist and with Van Hagar. I remember all the preppy kids in high school getting giddy about "I can't drive 55". Which as a true metal Sabbath-Maiden fan, was a cartoon song to me. But I still always loved the guy as a personality.
A year ago Ralph stole this away from me.
He showed us how Sammy is a bullshitter. Not just a guy who lies sometimes like we all have to. But the kind of guy who revs up every story so he has the best story of all. So he's the most interesting guy of all. A one-upper, in a way.
We've all had friends who we thought were awesome at first. Then slowly we realize the awesome has been a bunch of try-hard bullshit. As that one guy on UA-cam who was struck by lightning once said: "Reality hits you hard bro."
That Ralph video exposing Sammy hit hard bro. It hurt.
At the end of the day, I think Sammy probably is a good guy. Whatever that means. It's all so jaded, who knows anymore. What's a good guy. A guy that makes you laugh and is great convo at the bar? Or is it the boring guy who is ok with boring you, as long as he takes care of his family? So many combinations.
But the lying is creepy. It's not ok. It's just sadly, not ok.
Agreed
@@rextonelectric6668 read his autobiography. I liked him before I read it. Ended up thinking he was a boring twat afterwards.
This has to be the funniest track by track you’ve ever done! Schmackemagob
I agree
I like the song Crazy Crazy Nights, it's a great pop rock song.
We need more suck vs suck. This should be a weekly thing lol
I agree funny shit
Love Crazy Nights, just a matter of opinion. I love KISS because of the energetic voice of Paul Stanley and the energy of the music
Unfortunately this was the first tour I saw KISS on. White Lion opened. The entire coliseum reeked of weed. Mike Tramp has no clue how to read the room and declares “You don’t need drugs in your life, all you need is Rock & Roll!” And gets booed for the entirety of their song “All you need is Rock & Roll.” Paul Thanley wasn’t much better with his story about going to the gym and telling some girl to sit on his face and let him guess her weight. Damn the 80’s were hit or miss.
Dude, you should totally do more of these suck vs suck reviews! Totally hysterical 🤣!
I agree with every pick except "right Now" Eddie rips on that solo
I'm half way through this review and can say in all honesty this is the most enjoyment anybody will ever get from these albums. The good Dr. has suffered for his art, but hopefully it was all worth it!
By the way, not only did Jinx Dawson do the devil horns before Gene she also had a song called For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge on the Coven debut.
One should not have to suffer so much for their art.
Laughed my ass off. This are crap times and we need laughter. Thank you Ralph. Greetings from Argentina!
Thanks Dr Fukk I’ll make it up to you. I’ll donate for a real track by track. BTW “Crazy” is sung 52 times in the song Crazy Crazy Nights 😂
Hello Ralph:
I loved this honest , direct review and I totally agree 1000%. Laughed so hard.
It amazes me that the lyric
“I want to sink my teeth in that fine piece of real estate”
would be included in ANY Rock song !
What the HELL is that?!
It would be hilarious if you did a DAVE vs SAMMY lyrics review or simply a Hagar lyrics review because we already understand Roth’s creativity is unmatched here. Keep on rocking.
Thank you !
Thank YOU for watching. \m/
God! I couldn’t stop laughing. 😂
Congrats on the sobriety.I'm celebrating 13 years of sobriety myself
You should be the one who needs to be congratulated. Not me. I had to stop from a pancreas problem. I was a casual drinker. And usually made UA-cam videos while drinking. Like once every other week. So it was not hard form me. You had a challenge I did not have. And you did it! And will continue to do it. I am very proud of people like you.
@@almosthuman56 Thank you. I drank a half gallon of Wild Turkey every day. I was very lucky to get sober
First time I disagree with you ,for unlawful carnal knowledge is kick ass
This'll be an epic spectacle in double suck-age.
I dig a few of the tunes on FUCK and find others decent enough. The only song on FUCK that I hate is Man on a Mission. But I still think it's better than When Your Walls Come Down.
That was a fun vid! Thanks for that.
"That McDonald land curly haired Cretan" OMG, I lost it 😆
It is better to have loved and lost, for I have loved what Ralph said about Sammy - and I fuckin' lost it, too. (LOL)
DUDE, I ALMOST CRAPPED MY PANTS FROM LAUGHING WHEN YOU SAID THAT MAMOTH VH WOLFY IS 316 POUNDS! LOL
Eddie was changing his playing before the 1984 album and on 1984 it became pronounced and continued on 5150. It has been said so many times most all the Van Halen songs with Sammy was written by the band and then given to Sammy to write lyrics to. Eddie changed the musical direction of the band before Dave left
I really don't care for 1984. So much so that I completely lost interest in checking out anything by them after it.
There's a reason why I rank Crazy Nights dead last in the KISS discography:
1. Poundcake
2. Judgement Day
3. Spanked
4. No, No, No
5. Pleasure Dome
6. In 'N' Out
7. Man On A Mission
8. The Dream Is Over
9. Right Now
10. 316
11. Top of The World
For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge - 10,
Crazy Nights - 1
I'd say KISS got F.U.!#ed by a Van Gina on this one!
lol awesome choices
Where's "Runaround"? That's the best song on the entire album.
Hilarious. I happen to like the Kiss album.
When Your Walls Come Down
Kiss
Let's go!
Liar, liar, got your pants on fire
I know you want it, you know you want it too
Hey diddle diddle, when the cat wants to fiddle
The kitten's gotta give him the moon
And they say, "You gotta look before you leap."
And "We're gonna judge you by the friends you keep."
But you're looking nasty and I'm in too deep
You'll be real happy to be losing sleep
When your walls come down
When your walls come down
When your walls come down
Oh, you get so crazy when there's no one around
You got your script from a Cosmo guide
"15 Ways to Find a Lover"
Don't you make me chase you, 'cause the author lied
You'll get your answers, babe, under the covers
You say, "I wanna wait until I'm really sure."
And "I want a love to last forever more."
And "I've got my pride, I've got my dignity."
Well, you'll swallow everything when you're with me
When your walls come down
When your walls come down
When your walls come down
Oh, you get so crazy when there's no one around
When your walls come down
When your walls come down
When your walls come down, ah, you're so
Come here baby and - auw...
And they say, "You gotta look before you leap."
And "We're gonna judge you by the friends you keep."
Listen, you're looking nasty and I'm in too deep
You'll be real happy to be losing sleep
When your walls come down
When your walls come down
When your walls come down
Oh, you get so crazy when there's no one around
When your walls come down
When your walls come down
When your walls come down
Oh, you get so crazy
When your walls come down, ow
When your walls come down, come here kitty and pout
When your walls come down, wooh
Aw, here kitty kitty, here kitty kitty
When your walls come down
When your walls come down
hahaha just looked up the lyrics this is terrible did a 2 year old write it hahah
i've watched this particular suck v suck about 30 times lol priceless, man...
I love coming back and watching you talk about Sammy! If I have a bad day, I come here and you make it better for me, and worse for “The Poser” LMFAO!!!
Almost human Rules!!! Schamakamagob
I use to drink too. I too, regret some of the stuff I said. The best part about that is USE TO! SHMACKAHMAHGOB!
"... Makes it sound like Stairway To Heaven" 😆😆😆 Brilliant!!
Ha ha this hurts crazy nights and hysteria was the 2 albums that Got me intro rock in the mid 80s and just Like Living in paradise by roth was also a Big hit overhere back then😅👍
Say you're boarding on a long flight and there's only 2 seats left. Do you choose the seat next to Paul Stanley OR the next to Sammy Hagar? Just curious...Haha!! Great video!!
😂
Best episode of this saga ever. LOL. The personification of Paul Stanley singing is killing me....
I've never laughed so much during your track by track. Thank you Dr. You made my night
That tongue wrestling part cracked me up. Best songs on Crazy Nights are 1. Reason to Live, 2. Hell or High Water 3. My Way (except for the high Stanley shrill voice)
I love Crazy Nights but I love when you rip on it, funny as hell man! This one was a riot
Crazy Nights.That album is the proof that kiss should've done the end of the road tour in 1987.
Back then I was having dreams I was looking at newspapers with the headline "KISS BREAKS UP!"
I love Crazy Crazy Nights, it's my favorite Kiss album, but yes, it has a lot of filler and My Way
This is the best track by track I’ve ever seen! Thanks to whoever suggested it!
Oh man this is gonna be good
8:06: `“Bang bang you” is hard to beat in suckdom’ ha ha.
I own (and enjoy) both these albums, but this episode was hysterical. Your insult technique is exquisite!
This is my favorite Suck vs Suck episode...hilarious! Thanks Ralph!
F.U.C.K its an amazing album :), greetings!!
Greetings!
This is hilarious. I love how much he hates Sammy Hagar.
Kiss in the late 80’s were pure sh*t
Right? Gene looked like Bea Arthur out of demon makeup, Paul looked like one of the Bangles, although I do have to say some of the songs on Hot In the Shade were okay. Would I get a brand-spanking-new 180 G reissue? Nah, not really...I'll just borrow the old scratchy CD from the library. If anything skips, I won't miss anything.
I really like all the different incarnations of Van Halen, but I find your Sammy stuff is hilarious.
Love this. Could not stop laughing 😂
i miss this format. doing the show surrounded by all your records and rock stuff was a huge part of the cool.
Ronald McDonald Sammy. With pure cheese and meatballs ❤❤
You coudve just saved us 23 minutes and said The Red Rocker sucks.
Aw, that's no fun. I love it when Ralph goes nuts
I'll Fight Hell to Hold You is my favorite Kiss song.
I`d rather have my prostate examined on a hourly basis than listen to either of these.
Awesome track by track. Comedy gold! 🤘
You act as if Sammy had Edward under mind control. As if Edward had no input or maybe Sammy even played his parts. The band changed, but Edward was still playing.
I just hate how he played after Dave left.
1. Crazy Nights
2. Judgement Day
3. Bang Bang You
4. Runaround
5. Hell or High Water
6. My Way
7. When Your Walls Come Down
8. The Dream Is Over
9. Right Now
10. Turn on the Night
11. Top of the World
6-5 KISS wins
I actually don't hate either album lol i dont mind Van Hagar though i definatly prefer Dave to Sammy and id take the six pack over the Hagar albums
And Crazy Nights is a mid pack KISS album for me lol but unlike most people, i have no problem if you disagree, were all entitled to our opinions and i know alot of people would disagree with some of my opinions! Lol
"My Way" is the worst song on "Crazy Nights." I can't think of a worse song from that album.
Love these friend keep up the great work 🎉
Thank you! Cheers!
This was some hilarious shit haha. I’ve never delved very deep into 80s KISS or Van Gina (which I suppose is a good thing lol). Though I can definitely agree Hagar sucks.
Van Gina🤣😂🤣😂🤣
That close up of Paul Thanley of Kith's crotchital area was the second worst thing Kiss every showed, number 1 of course is a tie between Crazy Nights and Hot in the Shade.
1 - Poundcake
2 - Judgement Day
3 - Spanked (though I hate both songs)
4 - No No No
5 - Pleasure Dome
6 - In And Out (Again both suck)
7 - When The Walls Fall Down
8 - The Dream Is Over
9 - Good Girl Gone Bad
10 - Turn On The Night
11 - Thief In The Night
F.U.C.K. wins 6-5, some were hard to choose because both songs sucked which is a first. Thanks for doing this one, it was hilarious.
thats pretty right!
You don't piss me off! We're the same age and you have the same opinions on music as I do! Love ya bro!
I love Van Hagar and like most songs off of crazy nights. Reason to live is actually the song that got me into kiss years ago 😂great video!
I'll take "Carnal Knowledge" over "Crazy Nights" on ANY given day. I had BOTH on cassette. I ended up giving away "Crazy Nights" two years after I had bought it, and I still have "Carnal Knowledge." Plus "Carnal Knowledge" has WAY more good songs than "Crazy Nights" does. "Poundcake," "Runaround," "The Dream Is Over," Judgement Day" and "In 'N' Out" are standout tracks. "Right Now" is a good power ballad. "Top Of The World" is the weakest of the singles released from the album. As for "Crazy Nights," the songs "I'll Fight Hell To Hold You," "Hell Or High Water," "Thief In The Night" and the underrated power ballad "Reason To Live" are the highlights. The rest is pure filler. I NEVER liked the title track, a minor rock and pop hit, and KISS always whiffs out when they release the third single from their worst albums. They did NOT disappoint when they released the cheesy filler track "Turn On The Night" to follow-up "Reason To Live." That's a super bad choice for a third single from that super letdown album. The follow-up to Crazy Nights," 1989's "Hot In The Shade" had better songs on the album, imho. But again, KISS screwed up when it chose the somewhat mediocre "Rise To It" over "The Street Giveth And The Street Taketh Away" as the third single from H.I.T.S., because that song completely bombed as a single. The end result: Van Hagar wins by a landslide.
I also remember you saying on your Turbo review on the Rock & Metal Combat Podcast that “Runaround” was a ripoff of “Private Property” by Judas Priest.
You need to review albums you hate more often! It’s freaking hilarious!!
The only song I like from Van Hagar is Dreams . I actually really like it.
McDonald land fucking Crichton! ? Amazing 😻
Roth is bi
cool
I was just thinking of the all time worst Kiss song, Read My Body, IMO, and you mentioned it at the same time I was thinking about it. Too weird! I love these videos, keep up the good work!
Don't worry bro Dave's not gay at all. If he was or Bi he would have said it already. He just never wanted to get married n have kids it's not his thing. As a matter of fact he was traumatized of his parents constantly fighting when he was a kid this in time made him to not ever want to get married.
who fucking cares if he’s gay? 😂
Crazy nights is maybe my least favorite Kiss album,and hot in the shade.but as as a vinyl collector I’d like to have the Van Halen record. Kinda rare,through Columbia house I think. Probably wouldn’t play it more than a couple times. But,it would fill my collection. As a Kiss fan since 1975 crazy nights is shit. I think I have a picture disc I’ll trade for a six pack and a pack of smokes.
I have FUCK on vinyl, but I never play it. I used to like some songs on it, but not anymore. Are you saying you already also have Balance on vinyl too? That I don’t have as it’s really expensive and of course horrible. Different kind of truth vinyl I have still sealed. I don’t know why I haven’t opened it yet, but I listen to the cd version.
Hey Ralph believe it or not this is my favorite video that you've done !!! hilarious !!! Congrats on the sobriety
Glad you enjoyed it
Paul Stanley is the Gwyneth Paltrow of Rock.
the song rules if he the audio is down in the video- Classic!
im pro dave too but i do like montrose rock candy there is a cool jam of sam tommy lee and mike anthony playing it thats pretty cool other that that and the original version im not a sammy fan either
Man........ That’s a lot of suck.
Comment on Wolfie's weight......laughed so hard I started to choke.....LOL
Right now I'm listening to Right Now , thinking that Right Now is my favorite VH song.
I purchased both of these albums when they first came out and was disappointed with both of them. And I am a KISS fan and a VH fan. I have to go with Van Halen on this review because I love Eddy.
Crazy Nights was my first cassette dude but I understand
Great show dude, I was laughing my ass off with the 316 WVH reference. LOL!!! \m/
I found your binky LMAO
I live in the UK and loved Crazy Night's as a 10 year old. When my musical tastes progressed I wrote off Kiss's entire back catalogue for many years for the sin of liking that awful song until I eventually checked out their 70's albums when I got older and realised just how good they were.
Crazy Nights😄
I like both albums! How dare you not have the exact same taste as me !!???. 😉
All true and funny as hell,more like this!!!!!
That was Sammy's best album with VH
I remember when Sammy joined Van Halen.. even as a kid I thought to myself oh no.
Watching now. You just said that Bang Bang You isn't the worst song on the album. I bet it's My Way. Let's see.
I knew it!!! Lol! I'd actually go with Read My Body. They're both fuckin' stupid but at least Read My Body doesn't have pop 80s keyboards throughout the whole shitty song.
Early KISS and VH were so damn good, anything that came after was bound to disappoint. I'd go see 80's KISS over Van Hagar any day of the week though.
The whole Crazy Nights album is not stellar to me but Crazy Nights, Reason To Live, My Way, Turn On The Night...I love those songs, they're the stinkiest of cheese, I love it and love seeing how much other people hate it especially when that person is Ralph.
Dave is just a private dude..he rarely even badger his haters...Mr.Simmons..this is so funny Rafael..gracias...thank you so much..u made my day..
...and My Way is one of my favorites as well.
2 classics!
Damn, I was gonna have you do Crazy Nights vs. OU812
Ralph .... We are going to crazy town . Much Love
I feel your pain. But you nailed it.
Dave slays Sammy's vocals!
One of the funniest track by tracks yet! I remember getting Crazy Nights when I was 16 or 17 and liking it but the only song I can remember is the title track and I don't care for it. I love both eras of Van Halen BUT, if I chose I prefer DLR era much more. Van Hagar I treat like a different band, which it is. Of the Sammy albums, FUCK is my next to least favorite just ahead of Balance. I do feel the albums got worse with each one- not a good sign for sure. I never really cared for Sammy's lyrics but he definitely hit a milestone for suckiness on FUCK. Great battle of the Suck! lol
Great stuff. Videos about the passionate hate of bands or albums are just as fun to watch as videos about the ones you love. Sometimes even more so! Ha! Or at least they're a lot funnier.
Not sure if I should cry or laugh at this review.
You didn't mention the power drill on Poundcake. I actually do love the sound of Eddie's drill.
I prefer when Paul Gilbert did it. And he did it before Edward did it. ua-cam.com/video/xTFQGrlu398/v-deo.html
@@almosthuman56 I can see why.
Lmfao!!🤣🤣 crazy nights…. That’s song makes me want to punch an infant. Me too! I hate that song!!
Inhaling violently.
Loved sammy in Montrose and his solo stuff before vanhalen didn't like vanhalen after Dave left my favorite kiss are alive albums rock-and-roll over creatures of the night