Hellsing Ultimate Abridged Episodes 1-3 - Team Four Star (TFS)

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  • Опубліковано 28 вер 2024
  • Be a REAL Vampire & Subscribe! ➤ bit.ly/2h2VVHK
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    Please support the official release! ➤ bit.ly/TFSFuniS...
    Hellsing Ultimate Abridged Episode 06 is coming later this month, we wanted to give you all a quick refresher course on the series! Enjoy the first three episodes of TeamFourStar's vampiric dark comedy parody!
    ORIGINALS:
    Episode 1: "Psych, Hitler!"
    • *TFS* Hellsing Ultimat...
    Episode 2: Bullets From Your Valentine
    • *TFS* Hellsing Ultimat...
    Episode 3: TheCrimsonFuckr
    • *TFS* Hellsing Ultimat...
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 23 тис.

  • @Double_D__
    @Double_D__ 3 роки тому +3164

    "Hey guys, how's your health plan?"
    *Soldiers start panicking and firing*
    "APPARENTLYIT'SGREAT!"
    That line is so underrated.

  • @angelikiskopelos6707
    @angelikiskopelos6707 4 роки тому +5479

    highlight for me:
    "they say having a TV makes you violent"
    "I say not having a TV is making me pretty violent"

    • @M0ri_06
      @M0ri_06 4 роки тому +124

      That line only reminds me of my sis when the power goes out

    • @DSWD
      @DSWD 3 роки тому +28

      @@M0ri_06 Truth

    • @nyckae8587
      @nyckae8587 3 роки тому +54

      Pretty fuckin violent**

    • @ZyxieRumor
      @ZyxieRumor 3 роки тому +34

      Alucard speaks the truth. Preach my crimson fucker brothuh!

    • @Sleepy_Cabbage
      @Sleepy_Cabbage 3 роки тому +8

      Ngl thats edgy as fuck

  • @monokumaprincipalofhopespe8295
    @monokumaprincipalofhopespe8295 4 роки тому +6077

    If y’all are wondering why they played “Shot Through The Heart” when her heart was on the opposite side of her body, it’s because in England they have their hearts on the right side of their body; just like they drive on the left side of the road

  • @paulmwilson62
    @paulmwilson62 10 місяців тому +622

    "By carrier pigeon, no less. They just....fly right into the Vatican!"
    Alucard is such a savage.

    • @jackson2531
      @jackson2531 9 місяців тому

      It was also funny how Alucard said him sending those letters to induce fear was like basting a turkey which he will proceed to have sex with. That's right. He's going to F*CK the fear turkey.

    • @zephypyre8711
      @zephypyre8711 Місяць тому +8

      Trolling the Vatican by carrier pigeon is such a flex.

    • @operationangel7940
      @operationangel7940 Місяць тому +13

      “I cannot help but ponder the frightful headway we’d make if he put that kind of energy into his job.”
      I think all of London paid the price for that pondering XD.

    • @gatordragon6140
      @gatordragon6140 4 години тому

      I just realized, that implies hes either teaching Carrier pigeons to fly there, or hes stealing carrier pigeons from the Vatican, implying he has full unrestricted access to the vatican

  • @michaeldaniels642
    @michaeldaniels642 4 роки тому +5064

    Considering the Queen's relationship with Alucard she'd probably approve any budget with claims labeled Alucard

    • @lukasjohnston1689
      @lukasjohnston1689 3 роки тому +260

      Little do they know

    • @goodhunter3831
      @goodhunter3831 3 роки тому +195

      There where probably a lot more but she had to leave a few

    • @Y0G0FU
      @Y0G0FU 3 роки тому +154

      thats why the Committee stepped in and stopped her :P

    • @Breadlootgoblin
      @Breadlootgoblin 3 роки тому +212

      @@Y0G0FU and then immediately allowed it once they found out what alucard's alternate method of having fun was

    • @onemoregodrejected9369
      @onemoregodrejected9369 3 роки тому +141

      Yeah.
      He was the girlfriend of the queen.
      Man has some history to him kek

  • @Shadowlerk2009
    @Shadowlerk2009 3 роки тому +2584

    "You know they say tv makes you violent but I'd say not having my TV is making me pretty fucking violent"

    • @coachlombardi9657
      @coachlombardi9657 3 роки тому +61

      Luke: I'm near the stairs! Gotta get to the stairs! If I can get up the stairs, I-
      *sees too many stairs*
      AWWWWWWWWW F***!

    • @ln9589
      @ln9589 3 роки тому +6

      I didn't think this was a quote at first

    • @ln9589
      @ln9589 3 роки тому +1

      I didn't think this was a quote at first

    • @ln9589
      @ln9589 3 роки тому +1

      I didn't think this was a quote at first

    • @ln9589
      @ln9589 3 роки тому +1

      I didn't think this was a quote at first

  • @afinoxi
    @afinoxi 4 роки тому +4159

    "...And Alucard is being-"
    "Alucard ?"
    "A total ass , yes."
    Doesn't get old.

  • @Rlyeh_The_Dead
    @Rlyeh_The_Dead 11 місяців тому +2590

    Sometimes when my wife and I are bickering, I'll yell "BITCH I EAT PEOPLE" which stops everything and we both have a laughing fit

    • @BakeBern
      @BakeBern 6 місяців тому +134

      Relationship goals.

    • @asherz135
      @asherz135 3 місяці тому +33

      I'm glad I'm not the only one to use this. 😂

    • @dimitrisp002
      @dimitrisp002 3 місяці тому +30

      You just gave me a reason to get married.

    • @Raebrained
      @Raebrained 2 місяці тому +41

      'The only people you should be eating is me' - that should be her comeback 😂

    • @dimitrisp002
      @dimitrisp002 2 місяці тому +15

      @@Raebrained 10 out of 10 comeback

  • @brandenapexo604
    @brandenapexo604 5 років тому +2895

    “He Then Proceeded To Tilt Every Painting On The Way Here” that is world class assholism 😂

    • @cecilrichardson2494
      @cecilrichardson2494 5 років тому +87

      I'd be wondering if he did it while walking through the walls, though.

    • @efrainsolano2847
      @efrainsolano2847 5 років тому +27

      @@cecilrichardson2494 i knoww right😂😂

    • @outtakefiend6839
      @outtakefiend6839 5 років тому +25

      I thought that was implied

    • @wolffire5421
      @wolffire5421 5 років тому +60

      And of course he needs a evil laugh after doing the most evilest thing done by man kind

    • @lancesummers6072
      @lancesummers6072 5 років тому +45

      He’s asserting his dominance 😂

  • @deaks25
    @deaks25 5 років тому +2484

    I have no idea why, but Alucard's laugh over tilting all the paintings in the hallway literally cracks me up completely.

    • @simplyq4311
      @simplyq4311 5 років тому +17

      deaks25 same bro

    • @Positivethinking2
      @Positivethinking2 5 років тому +30

      27:42 got u fam

    • @brandonkaiser634
      @brandonkaiser634 5 років тому +42

      I love this version of alucard, his twisted as hell sense of humor makes me laugh my ass off so much it hurts, that moment with the tilted paintings, I felt respect for him hahahaahahaha

    • @givmi_more_w9251
      @givmi_more_w9251 5 років тому +3

      Same. I got into a 10min laughing fit ...

    • @Seishin091
      @Seishin091 5 років тому +26

      For me it was the "I was minding my own business" line. I lost it completely at his "I WAAAAAAAAASSS!"

  • @adriannebee2056
    @adriannebee2056 3 роки тому +5155

    "Oh fuck, that's an anti-tank rifle. OH *FUCK* THAT'S AN ANTI-TANK RIFLE" is still one of my favourite line reads ever. Just the "oh. huh. OH FUCK"

    • @noahkrueger2866
      @noahkrueger2866 3 роки тому +68

      20:05

    • @CallofDutyBlackOps28
      @CallofDutyBlackOps28 3 роки тому +85

      "oh that's a big fucking gun. " OH! THAT'S A BIG FUCKING GUN!" i love shit like that.

    • @Itachi-Uchiha-1
      @Itachi-Uchiha-1 3 роки тому +86

      Jan: "I don't give a shit, I don't give a fuck. I don't give a shit, I don't give a fuck. So if I give a shit, I might just give a fuck but I don't give a shit so I don't give a fu- fuck was that?"

    • @Itachi-Uchiha-1
      @Itachi-Uchiha-1 3 роки тому +33

      Jan: "And so half way blowing me, the fucking hooker Od's on Heroin."
      Luke: "I really don't like discussing my Ex girlfriend with you."
      Jan: "I mean I still finished but what kind of shit is that?"

    • @Itachi-Uchiha-1
      @Itachi-Uchiha-1 3 роки тому +38

      Luke: "Hello, Jan."
      Jan: "So, how's my favorite big brother doin'?"
      Luke: "Oh, you know; just killed a group of guards."
      Jan: "Shit, bro, You too? What's your kill count at? Nah, don't tell me... I'm winnin'."
      Luke: "They were guarding a secret passage way downstairs... Not really keeping it a secret if you keep a bunch of armed guards standing around it."
      Jan: "Well, you have fun with that, bro. I'm gonna go skullfuck that Hellsing bitch. And the old guys.. Ah fuck it, skullfuckin' for everyone! Come 'ere, ghoul!"
      *Wet skull crush noise*
      Luke: "Well, you can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family."

  • @TBomb15
    @TBomb15 2 роки тому +3678

    I love the way the major says "we are nazis." It's like he just realized it himself and finds it unbelievably funny.

    • @dairenoh693
      @dairenoh693 2 роки тому +178

      I know, right? And to be honest, the delivery on the line really sells it, it just kills me! XD

    • @clayongunzelle9555
      @clayongunzelle9555 2 роки тому +33

      most times I just watch it up to that point.

    • @sorrenblitz805
      @sorrenblitz805 2 роки тому +122

      His whole character is basically contradictory Nihilism given form. It's amazing. It's almost like he's self aware and just embracing the ridiculousness of what he is

    • @thenextgeneration9030
      @thenextgeneration9030 2 роки тому +104

      the fact hes standing in a room full of nazis with a giant swastika painted on the ground, and he suddenly exclaims in excitement that he realized theyre all nazis lmao

    • @kg0672
      @kg0672 2 роки тому

      u- und ve- are nazis!

  • @arkama67
    @arkama67 3 роки тому +2940

    Damn those opening lines cracked me up : "HEY KIDS WANNA SEE A DEAD BODY" "HEY GUYS HOW IS YOUR HEALTH PLAN ?" "YOU ACTIVATED MY ALU-CARD"

  • @thederpifier4623
    @thederpifier4623 3 роки тому +3147

    Police Girl: Chokes on blood after getting 20 blades in the back.
    Alucard: “Yeah yeah, give me a minute.”

    • @bonniefazman9065
      @bonniefazman9065 3 роки тому +72

      It wasn't like she was dying right away.

    • @thecrimsonfucker2767
      @thecrimsonfucker2767 3 роки тому +117

      Right? I swear she gets dramatic over the smallest of things

    • @Nero-wy6yf
      @Nero-wy6yf 3 роки тому +18

      @@thecrimsonfucker2767 saammee

    • @sushitime5052
      @sushitime5052 3 роки тому +22

      @@thecrimsonfucker2767 yeah, so dramatic. Usually i feel pain with like 40 of them.

    • @stonedumaruto9570
      @stonedumaruto9570 3 роки тому +13

      @@sushitime5052 you feel em? I have to ask is it in yet

  • @Draiocht012
    @Draiocht012 Рік тому +108

    I have to say that I've heard since the beginning that the main series is Seras's perspective and abridged is Alucard's but going through the series actively thinking of them as "how [insert character] tells the story" makes scenes like "we shall plan around the plan they're planning around our plan" so much fucking funnier.

    • @Draiocht012
      @Draiocht012 Рік тому +16

      Seras Victoria recounting the Major: *a mysterious and creepy man as genius as he is insane.*
      Alucard recounting the Major: *a total goofball idiot surrounded by yes men.*

    • @concept5631
      @concept5631 Місяць тому +2

      ​@@Draiocht012 Both perspectives are correct.

    • @Draiocht012
      @Draiocht012 Місяць тому +1

      @@concept5631 Oh most certainly.

  • @thefunnyguy5090
    @thefunnyguy5090 2 роки тому +6080

    "Get her a cannon, bitches love cannons."
    Has to be my favorite line in a while.

  • @I_AM_NUM_3
    @I_AM_NUM_3 4 роки тому +3541

    This went from "wtf am I watching?!?!?" to "why tf wasn't I watching this before!?!?!"

    • @The_Delta_Shadow
      @The_Delta_Shadow 4 роки тому +123

      Congratulations and be glad you didn't find it 6 years ago waiting the year for the next episode :P

    • @nedcurfman3486
      @nedcurfman3486 4 роки тому +48

      The next step is “why the fuck aren’t any of my friends watching this??” That’s where I’m at right now, and have been for the past six months.

    • @sniptaclar5568
      @sniptaclar5568 4 роки тому +29

      Congratulations. It won’t be long until you can word for word recited every episode. About 6 times rewatching

    • @AnnihilationXable
      @AnnihilationXable 4 роки тому +6

      Jesus wants a hug!

    • @PKlovesDW
      @PKlovesDW 4 роки тому +2

      @@sniptaclar5568 Truer words have not been spoken

  • @janverfaillie2588
    @janverfaillie2588 4 роки тому +4143

    the fact that Alucard killed Edward and Bella is cannon in my book

    • @michaelgarrett45
      @michaelgarrett45 4 роки тому +306

      *canon. That said, bitches love cannons.

    • @ghostlegendoftheend5525
      @ghostlegendoftheend5525 4 роки тому +63

      @@michaelgarrett45 nice

    • @DD8842
      @DD8842 4 роки тому +118

      Behold the true end of the twilight saga.

    • @PS-yn2fb
      @PS-yn2fb 4 роки тому +46

      ED........WARD

    • @Jobe-13
      @Jobe-13 4 роки тому +28

      It was a great crossover.

  • @ItsLerez
    @ItsLerez 3 роки тому +1714

    35:20
    "Put the Police girl on the phone"
    "-Okay fine whatever"
    *In the background*
    "Integra wants to talk to you"
    "Why she want to talk-"
    "I don't fucking know just go talk to her I'm going for a walk" *door shut*

    • @sebastianb.3978
      @sebastianb.3978 3 роки тому +107

      The casualty of that conversation is unusually wholesome

    • @kuro6297
      @kuro6297 3 роки тому +31

      NOT THE WALKS!!!!!!

    • @CallofDutyBlackOps28
      @CallofDutyBlackOps28 3 роки тому +18

      "---NNNOOOOOO--"

    • @Zank069
      @Zank069 2 роки тому +7

      You’ve been like really quiet for like 5 minutes

    • @YourLocalAnnoyingFox
      @YourLocalAnnoyingFox 2 роки тому +6

      @@sebastianb.3978 Seems like a casual conversation between me and my friends

  • @GoblinLord
    @GoblinLord 4 роки тому +1590

    "Release restraint level one"
    "Level what"
    anyone get strange kaio-what deja vu from this?

  • @thedarkadmiral3627
    @thedarkadmiral3627 3 роки тому +2731

    “And...all of the sexual harassment”
    “...I’m not apologising for that”

    • @tosmooth5559
      @tosmooth5559 3 роки тому +23

      lol

    • @dr.bright6272
      @dr.bright6272 3 роки тому +106

      Even though she is the biggest offender.

    • @stinger59605
      @stinger59605 3 роки тому +28

      @@dr.bright6272 only to seras

    • @dr.bright6272
      @dr.bright6272 3 роки тому +23

      @@stinger59605 I think it still counts

    • @TheBonesMalone
      @TheBonesMalone 3 роки тому +15

      @@dr.bright6272 *imagine them all with chainsaws*

  • @ghosty6288
    @ghosty6288 11 місяців тому +81

    I finally understood the opening scene with Edward and Bella being a Twilight reference to how they ruined Vampires

    • @niserresin2006
      @niserresin2006 8 місяців тому +4

      I was reading through TVTropes and was like "Edward Cullen? But he never shows up, Alucard only says 'a real fucking vampire' after killing that one guy who... whose name was Edward..."
      Y'see the thing is I never read Twilight so I didn't recognize the name Bella, and Edward is a common enough first name.

    • @ghosty6288
      @ghosty6288 8 місяців тому +2

      @@niserresin2006 It's actually the entire joke, Edward and Bella, coincidentally vampires, who can't do anything a vampire actually can.

  • @dannytino4835
    @dannytino4835 Рік тому +5950

    "You know they say tv makes you violent well I say not having my tv IS MAKING ME PRETTY FUCKING VIOLENT" one of the best quotes

    • @stealthynaxo
      @stealthynaxo Рік тому +131

      WRONG! Tv shows dont create serial killers! CANCELLING SHOWS CREATES THEM!
      -Ray, Scary Movie.

    • @russell7852
      @russell7852 Рік тому +35

      The whole series is the best quote

    • @TheNightWatcher1385
      @TheNightWatcher1385 Рік тому +53

      @@stealthynaxo “Movies don’t create psychos, movies make psychos more creative.”

    • @GHOST85x
      @GHOST85x Рік тому +1

      I DONT GIVE UP FUCK I DONT SHIT AND IF GIVE FUCK I MIGHT GIVE SHIT

    • @stealthynaxo
      @stealthynaxo Рік тому

      @@TheNightWatcher1385 "People don't kill people! Death kills people!"

  • @18videowatcher41
    @18videowatcher41 2 роки тому +2397

    I love the maniacal giggle Alucard lets out after Walter reveals that he tilted all the paintings in the hallway. The voice actor did an amazing job of portraying how crazy, and awesome, and terrifying Alucard is.

    • @vexile1239
      @vexile1239 Рік тому +45

      Takahata was/is a hilarious va

    • @corkscrewpikachu2730
      @corkscrewpikachu2730 Рік тому +25

      It's that petty kind of evil that we all love!

    • @jacksonhoggarth1531
      @jacksonhoggarth1531 Рік тому +13

      Fun fact taka aka alucard voices guru in DBZ abridged

    • @jordanleland6402
      @jordanleland6402 Рік тому +11

      ​@@jacksonhoggarth1531 he also voices Cell (all forms)

    • @pokemonmanic3595
      @pokemonmanic3595 Рік тому +8

      Walking through that hallway is going to give me such a headache now…

  • @Massive_Legend_Here
    @Massive_Legend_Here 3 роки тому +1382

    "Oh, fuck thats a anti tank rifle."
    The man said calmly.

    • @CallofDutyBlackOps28
      @CallofDutyBlackOps28 2 роки тому +71

      *followed by clear realization; followed by a loud repeat of the sentence*

    • @Massive_Legend_Here
      @Massive_Legend_Here 2 роки тому +56

      @@CallofDutyBlackOps28 "Oh! FUCK! thats an anti TANK Rifle!"

    • @Aaroncarter95
      @Aaroncarter95 2 роки тому +15

      It hadn't fully sank in yet. Then it hit him all at once.

    • @involuntaryanalysis
      @involuntaryanalysis 2 роки тому +5

      @@Aaroncarter95 ... If he's THAT slow on the uptake, as a fuckmothering vampire, imagine what kind of dumbshit human he was.

    • @Fordan_greeman714
      @Fordan_greeman714 2 роки тому +4

      Dumbledore said calmly

  • @painsenpai01
    @painsenpai01 2 роки тому +2186

    When you realise that Integra is the basically the adoptive mom to the most op problem child...the hilarity of her calling him during his vacation trip is 100x more hilarious

    • @evgSyr
      @evgSyr 2 роки тому +75

      4:52 "Yes, mum!"

    • @TheTruthFreed01
      @TheTruthFreed01 2 роки тому +85

      That makes it weird since Alucard says he's saving himself for Integra when he said he wanted you, and I quote, "Fuck the red out of those eyes."

    • @geomania8533
      @geomania8533 2 роки тому +46

      It’s a complicated work related relationship lol

    • @nathanbrown7906
      @nathanbrown7906 2 роки тому +52

      @@TheTruthFreed01 he described there group relationship as tags on p***h*b

    • @ethribin4188
      @ethribin4188 2 роки тому +32

      Its more like Integra is the DM trying to controll a mass of murderhobo chaotic players.
      Just the players have the DMs powers.

  • @miniscoil417
    @miniscoil417 3 роки тому +21581

    I haven't watched Hellsing yet. This will be my canon.

    • @LowReedExpert1
      @LowReedExpert1 3 роки тому +2005

      Luckily for us all, Hellsing Ultimate is incredible and so tonally different that having seen either before the other doesn't matter lol

    • @monetum1392
      @monetum1392 3 роки тому +1296

      I've considered Hellsing to be my favorite Anime for a long time. Now it's second. First is this.

    • @jedimike7622
      @jedimike7622 3 роки тому +753

      This Abridged is exceptionally well done. One of only a couple that I've actually really enjoyed.

    • @pedropessanha3773
      @pedropessanha3773 3 роки тому +509

      Well, bitches do love cannons

    • @mochi4926
      @mochi4926 3 роки тому +456

      I very rarely say this -- but if you do watch it, then start with the English dub. It's honestly one of the best voice acting jobs done for an anime. Also, the 13 episode anime is good. It's just not the manga. It's fun in a nostalgic-rainy-day-movie kind of way. The nice part is that both the 13 episode anime and the OVA have the same voice cast. Definitely nowhere near the same comedic level as the Abridged version. It has a serious tone. To be honest though, I feel like even though the Abridged version was written by TFS, it still sounds like what the internal monologue probably was when Kohta Hirano made the series initially. 😂

  • @WorldWeave
    @WorldWeave Рік тому +1976

    40:02 I find it hilarious that Alucard’s first tweet is just “it’s nazis” with NO CONTEXT, lol

    • @gabrielrodriguez9229
      @gabrielrodriguez9229 Рік тому +53

      And it is still there

    • @WorldWeave
      @WorldWeave Рік тому +74

      @@gabrielrodriguez9229 wait…that’s a real tweet?
      Honestly, why am I surprised? I already knew the account was real, why wouldn’t this?

    • @stevenpg9517
      @stevenpg9517 Рік тому +90

      ​@@WorldWeave First *and only* tweet mind you. Fucking great honestly.

    • @SmithNLesson
      @SmithNLesson Рік тому +34

      @@stevenpg9517 nah @thecrimsonfckr has more tweets

    • @MrKideon
      @MrKideon Рік тому +10

      Best part of it is the Hastings that fantastic

  • @expiredgatorade1999
    @expiredgatorade1999 6 місяців тому +103

    "Walter, what are we looking at in terms of collateral."
    "The Alucard amount."
    I fucking love Abridged Walter.

  • @danielvalent8881
    @danielvalent8881 3 роки тому +594

    "Hey guys, hows your health plan?"
    *Opens fire*
    "APPARENTLY ITS GREAT!"
    That is me and my friends on any fps game ever. Both sides of it.

  • @MagnoliaSunshine33
    @MagnoliaSunshine33 Рік тому +3280

    Alucard: "It was the Nazis wasn't it?
    Intergra: "No"
    Alucard: "bet you I'm right"
    Intergra: "bet you your wrong"
    Alucard: "Bet you your a skank"
    Intergra: "bet you your an asshole"
    Alucard: "BITCH I EAT PEOPLE!!!"
    That part will always be one of the most funniest things I've heard XD

    • @acolyte06312
      @acolyte06312 Рік тому +127

      *One trip to Brazil later*
      Alucard: ITS NAZIS

    • @pajwubx1809
      @pajwubx1809 Рік тому +8

      (wait, wrong anime)

    • @skinwahandsich
      @skinwahandsich Рік тому +37

      It had to be a large organised group.
      Like the Nazis?
      That would be r-slurred
      Gentleman. We are Nazis
      Alucard isn't as dumb as he acts..

    • @acolyte06312
      @acolyte06312 Рік тому

      @@skinwahandsich Und we will have WAR.......

    • @TheCoyoteOutlaw
      @TheCoyoteOutlaw Рік тому

      #truelove

  • @MimickFox
    @MimickFox Рік тому +608

    "Second verse, same as the first, now put me on a plane so I can put 'em in a hearse."
    I love this line so much.

    • @ISOCATO
      @ISOCATO 10 місяців тому +13

      a rapping Catholic

    • @enderborn6860
      @enderborn6860 4 місяці тому +3

      @@ISOCATO better then that one priest that gave his surmon and urban kick

    • @brutal_bunny_5402
      @brutal_bunny_5402 2 місяці тому +3

      @@enderborn6860 his crew is big and it keeps getting bigger

    • @memelord74
      @memelord74 Місяць тому

      @@brutal_bunny_5402 that's cuz jesus christ is my

  • @gamemaster-kt9bc
    @gamemaster-kt9bc 6 років тому +2655

    "Father O'Malley'O'Connel'O'Carrol'O'Reiley'O'Brian"O'Sullivan"
    This Celt is 200% Irish

    • @benbrunt6365
      @benbrunt6365 6 років тому +312

      Who is also italian.

    • @t-greenrock404
      @t-greenrock404 6 років тому +99

      50% Italian.

    • @VulpusArmory
      @VulpusArmory 6 років тому +71

      there is no Mac/Mc in there, he is only 150%

    • @jki987
      @jki987 5 років тому +24

      who's also Italian

    • @LtScarecrow87
      @LtScarecrow87 5 років тому +20

      Celtic Celtic Celtic Celtic. I’m 100% Celtic

  • @John-Stark
    @John-Stark 4 роки тому +1548

    I love how Alucard and Anderson both wonder the same thing about Leprechauns

    • @gabycureton6502
      @gabycureton6502 4 роки тому +24

      John Stark I mean I would wonder too am I weird or •_• a vampire 🧛‍♀️

    • @thomastakesatollforthedark2231
      @thomastakesatollforthedark2231 4 роки тому +29

      John Stark no, alucard wonder about his gun, Alexander wonder about his bayonet. BIIIIIIIIGGGGG difference

    • @dustyfedora
      @dustyfedora 4 роки тому +14

      Thomas takes a toll for the dark they still wondered if they would spill out lucky charms

    • @valkartadreddknot6161
      @valkartadreddknot6161 4 роки тому +12

      Hey not after alucard makes a reference to llamas with hats by shooting somone 37 time just like carl

    • @jamesgilbert6539
      @jamesgilbert6539 4 роки тому +3

      FCC

  • @Azrat1101
    @Azrat1101 Рік тому +85

    10:13 “You done goofed” funniest shit I ever heard

    • @Aiden-t6y
      @Aiden-t6y Місяць тому +2

      How the blood soaked protestant hell did you do that

  • @oriousblack
    @oriousblack 4 роки тому +755

    No character in the series was ever in more danger than Luke after destroying Alucard’s TV.

    • @nathanmigneault8542
      @nathanmigneault8542 3 роки тому +3

      wrong

    • @nathanmigneault8542
      @nathanmigneault8542 3 роки тому +37

      you forgot walter after he crushed anderson's head

    • @EmpCaezar
      @EmpCaezar 3 роки тому +12

      @@nathanmigneault8542 WALTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

    • @lukereyes6266
      @lukereyes6266 3 роки тому +3

      No I didn't😖😖😖😖 he broke it

    • @pokepro082
      @pokepro082 3 роки тому +2

      Some people say tv makes you violent but I'd say losing my tv is making me pretty fucking violent

  • @seth_fed
    @seth_fed 7 років тому +5466

    "I could try seducing him... Wait! I'm not an Eight Year old boy!" I nearly spit all over my screen when she said that

    • @dylanbuford6512
      @dylanbuford6512 7 років тому +171

      I *did* spit all over over my screen so FML/

    • @Lightstorm786
      @Lightstorm786 7 років тому +123

      seth federoff I'VE WATCHED THIS SO MANY TIMES AND NOT ONCE DID I REALIZE THAT THAT IS WHAT SHE SAID OHMIGOD

    • @artoriasgael4980
      @artoriasgael4980 7 років тому +61

      seth federoff ALUCARD: ITS NATIS. INTEGRA: it's the fucking NATISSS

    • @MultiUnethical
      @MultiUnethical 7 років тому +89

      best reference to kids? "generous donations to spread the love of jesus Christ, all over [the boys] back!"

    • @therizzonator2862
      @therizzonator2862 7 років тому +84

      i fucking choked on my spit from laughing when the guard was being forced to read the script and crying

  • @MrLegendofLP
    @MrLegendofLP 3 роки тому +1008

    You know, even without the whole "Alucard=Dracula backwards" thing, there's so many other little things that hint at it. Episode 3 Alucard literally impales the bodies of the police on pikes.

    • @coachlombardi9657
      @coachlombardi9657 3 роки тому +62

      When I first saw it, I thought it was him showing off skills or something.

    • @CW-xn1ot
      @CW-xn1ot 3 роки тому +27

      Also the entire beginning of episode 3

    • @blackopskiller1996
      @blackopskiller1996 3 роки тому +48

      Well to be fair the nazis were busy planing world War 3eeee!

    • @kriegertechpriest7011
      @kriegertechpriest7011 3 роки тому +20

      @@blackopskiller1996 True,,also their forces apear to be being quite literally sluaghtered! I says casualy with a grain of humour

    • @muhammadyaseer9673
      @muhammadyaseer9673 3 роки тому +15

      @@kriegertechpriest7011 who give a shit there nazi

  • @Developedinink
    @Developedinink 3 роки тому +370

    So are we going to talk about that crazy voice acting going on when Jan made the comms guy read the letter to Integra? Because, dude.

    • @Theroha
      @Theroha 3 роки тому +38

      If TFS decide they don't want to do the UA-cam thing anymore, they could all roll very lucrative careers in any sector of the entertainment industry. Their voice acting alone would have them set for life.

    • @DiamantisHell
      @DiamantisHell 3 роки тому +3

      I love it

  • @xClaydogzx
    @xClaydogzx 2 роки тому +2063

    Alucard: Release restraint level one
    Luke: Level what?
    That part broke me in tears in laughter

  • @thegrimcritic5494
    @thegrimcritic5494 2 роки тому +1907

    To think the VA of Maxwell would go on to be hired by Funimation to voice Lord Ainz in Overlord. What a great portfolio he made with TFS, lol.

    • @arbetor12
      @arbetor12 2 роки тому +95

      Well they do know a few guys at funimation

    • @kaih_the_viewer
      @kaih_the_viewer 2 роки тому +78

      HOLY SHIT THAT'S IMPRESSIVE

    • @shirothr5384
      @shirothr5384 2 роки тому +42

      Hes also Cooler in DBZA

    • @physical_insanity
      @physical_insanity 2 роки тому +9

      Yeah, but it's a shame Overlord is straight dogshit.

    • @betterjonnys181
      @betterjonnys181 2 роки тому +55

      @@physical_insanity It's a shame that your opinion is straight dogshit.

  • @PrecursorIdeliron
    @PrecursorIdeliron 2 роки тому +1013

    I have lost count how many times I’ve viewed the Abridged Series. This time, though, was the first time I finally registered that they implied that Alucard leaving a single zombie behind is what started up Highschool of the Dead.

    • @jonesjeremiah
      @jonesjeremiah 2 роки тому +78

      Oh I always wondered what Anime they are refering to, never watch Highschool of the Dead but that is great.

    • @bryanfan3175
      @bryanfan3175 2 роки тому +40

      It's good. Has nice boing boing. Too bad the author died before it was finished

    • @antisora2032
      @antisora2032 2 роки тому +25

      Shame damn shame. I'd hit them chick's. Plus the action was great. Takashi would be great if he was more gangster like the 2gs version.

    • @capscaps04
      @capscaps04 2 роки тому +8

      Have you watched the original anime?

    • @xSkysilver
      @xSkysilver Рік тому +15

      Well I guess alucard will have to go on a VERY enthusiastic walk through Japan

  • @avenger374
    @avenger374 6 років тому +732

    "I could try seducing him."
    "WAIT, I'M NOT AN 8 YEAR OLD BOY!"
    Jesus, I fucking love TFS, they make some of the best quotes ever

    • @Chaos89P
      @Chaos89P 6 років тому +19

      I honestly think Anderson wouldn't have cared. It'd instead be "Say your prayers, wee *lad."* Not to mention I would assume that he'd murder pedophilic priests for being heretics...
      or just daft cunts.

    • @imperator5228
      @imperator5228 6 років тому +20

      Nah, Chaos89P, he hates them as much as vampires, in canon and in the abridged.

    • @Chaos89P
      @Chaos89P 6 років тому +6

      Jacob Valentin You mean "bloody heathens"?

    • @saltycrusader3107
      @saltycrusader3107 6 років тому +1

      I thought she said “wait, I’m not an New York boy

    • @spacesatan5840
      @spacesatan5840 6 років тому

      if the emperor had a text to speech device has better qoutes in my opinion

  • @owenjames8575
    @owenjames8575 4 роки тому +2371

    People aren't talking enough about the fact that alucard didn't know who Anderson was, so he literally smelled hypocrisy on the air

    • @cunningsmile4166
      @cunningsmile4166 4 роки тому +78

      He also avoids being verbally redundant.

    • @justsomejerseydevilwithint4606
      @justsomejerseydevilwithint4606 4 роки тому +64

      @@cunningsmile4166 "WHOOPS! Tautology!"

    • @gigglesilly17
      @gigglesilly17 4 роки тому +40

      Alucards bullshit senses are tingling

    • @imgrindin
      @imgrindin 4 роки тому +15

      Nonono. He smelled hypocrisy. Its everywhere, but most easily identified as those god damn chester the molester tiny tim crotch petting fathers from that gaddamn church.

    • @slevinchannel7589
      @slevinchannel7589 4 роки тому +2

      Probably the Worst Abridged Series out there.
      Exactly how Abridged Series shouldnt be: Just working with Blood and Sex Jokes. A lot of them.
      That's so boring after 10 Seconds. Yet, you try to give it a real Chance, so you keep watching, but in the End, it just dissapoints you.

  • @TheLordDyl11
    @TheLordDyl11 8 місяців тому +15

    Watching this in 2024, I can totally understand why this took off. My favorite part is the voice acting, everyone sold it

  • @ryancallan1192
    @ryancallan1192 4 роки тому +415

    "Oh, what are you going to do? Grab that guy who can stop me? What was his name...? Michael McDoesntexist?"

  • @darwinism8181
    @darwinism8181 Рік тому +618

    "Oh, well, that's step one. What about two through ten?" "Ah, Christ!"
    "You done goofed."
    God I love this series.

    • @Ezeebo652
      @Ezeebo652 11 місяців тому +21

      "How did you do that?"
      "Fuck you, that's how."

    • @acolyte06312
      @acolyte06312 11 місяців тому +9

      “You know what? I’ve had enough of this. To Hell with all you dirty heathens!”

    • @ThePuff18
      @ThePuff18 4 місяці тому

      Surprised he never said “You shouldn’t have did that.”

    • @greenowl3062
      @greenowl3062 4 місяці тому

      "How in the blood soaked Protestant hell did you do that?"

  • @marygoround1292
    @marygoround1292 4 роки тому +1289

    Anderson: Serve the lord with fear and rejoice with trembling
    Alucard: YOU GOT ME A PRESENT!
    This line kills me every time

    • @PS-yn2fb
      @PS-yn2fb 4 роки тому +8

      BOONDOC SAINTS

    • @Sabis2365
      @Sabis2365 4 роки тому +6

      Boondock....Saints

    • @DeadPool-XF
      @DeadPool-XF 4 роки тому +4

      Knife.......Knife

    • @anthonypalagonia7609
      @anthonypalagonia7609 4 роки тому

      Me freaking too!

    • @edwardwhiten420
      @edwardwhiten420 4 роки тому +4

      Kiss the son lest he be angry, and ye perish from the way... when his wrath is kindled but a little!

  • @alucarD42013
    @alucarD42013 3 місяці тому +20

    "Who is it?"
    "Oh you know... A real fucking Vampire!"

  • @johnmoreno6903
    @johnmoreno6903 3 роки тому +1099

    Wait a second, did they show Highschool of the dead when Alucard said his mission in Japan was 99.9% done?

    • @bonniefazman9065
      @bonniefazman9065 3 роки тому +106

      Yes, yes they did.

    • @omogbolahanadeyemo5887
      @omogbolahanadeyemo5887 3 роки тому +49

      My first ever anime

    • @youknowwhatboi
      @youknowwhatboi 3 роки тому +16

      @@omogbolahanadeyemo5887 😤 😆😆😆😆 hahahahaha 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣 I'm sorry man how was it anyway?

    • @Kumar09BC
      @Kumar09BC 3 роки тому +42

      @@youknowwhatboi What every fanboy would want in an anime show. Oh how those were simpler times...

    • @youknowwhatboi
      @youknowwhatboi 3 роки тому +16

      @@Kumar09BC before Boku no hero right? When Adventure Time was still rolling and people were amazed at Steven Universe.
      Things are so different now.

  • @matanabrahamov4234
    @matanabrahamov4234 3 роки тому +634

    25:24
    Alucard: "That reminds me - for whatever reason, did we ever find out who sent them?"
    *2-3 seconds of silence*
    Alucard: "It was the Nazis, wasn't it?"
    Integra: "No"
    Alucard: "Bet you I'm right"
    Integra: "Bet you you're wrong"
    Alucard: "Bet you you're a *skank* "
    Integra: "Bet you you're an *asshole* "
    Alucard: "BITCH, I EAT PEOPLE!"
    *NEVER GETS OLD...*

  • @Guy25096
    @Guy25096 2 місяці тому +10

    “Nah don’t tell me. Im winning” was unnecessarily tough

  • @ReturnOfMonke
    @ReturnOfMonke 5 років тому +775

    I don't know why, but the moment with the Nazis and
    "Und ve... UND VE... ACHOO!"
    "Gesundheit! Gesundheit!"
    Just cracked me up.

    • @kourtneyr.scruggs0988
      @kourtneyr.scruggs0988 4 роки тому +26

      That entire scene... God-tier for no reason...

    • @alastorgee1614
      @alastorgee1614 4 роки тому +11

      Gesundheit! Gesundheit!

    • @SGTPandaOfficial
      @SGTPandaOfficial 4 роки тому +2

      Tyler McGaugh That had me crying with laughter 😂

    • @Fra321
      @Fra321 4 роки тому +16

      The mere "Gentlemen... ve... are nazis..." alone cracks me up everytime.

    • @sebastianc1110
      @sebastianc1110 4 роки тому +2

      Fra32
      It does for me too, don’t know why.

  • @Mitre373
    @Mitre373 3 роки тому +563

    "It reeks of hypocrisy in here, oh if it isn't the catholic church."

    • @briarmason8737
      @briarmason8737 3 роки тому +59

      "And what's this? No little Timmy glued to your crotch. Progress."

    • @flightg97shadowgarth32
      @flightg97shadowgarth32 3 роки тому +24

      "Ah, and look what we have here: A bloody heathen!"

    • @michaelverissimo2666
      @michaelverissimo2666 3 роки тому +25

      “Excuse me, I’m a fuckmothering vampire, I killed a lot of people to get this title and deserve to be called as such”

    • @AbdullahKhan-xw8rb
      @AbdullahKhan-xw8rb 3 роки тому +10

      Truer words never spoke

    • @briarmason8737
      @briarmason8737 3 роки тому +10

      "Well then, mind if I ask you your name?"

  • @itisimonny
    @itisimonny 3 роки тому +387

    "second verse same as the first, now put me on a plane so i can put em in a hearse." Anderson is TOO GOOD in the abridged series that it like almost hurts the real versions. i always want him saying extra crazy and badass shit now.

  • @YouWarhammer
    @YouWarhammer 5 років тому +671

    "JESUS WANTS A HUUUUG!"
    Gets me every time xD

    • @druzcrew
      @druzcrew 5 років тому +10

      TFS sells a shirt with that on it.

    • @zayjaxthefirst3309
      @zayjaxthefirst3309 5 років тому +1

      Give me a hug

    • @andreaswargrave1362
      @andreaswargrave1362 5 років тому +2

      Look at what we have here: A Bloody heathen!

    • @TsukabuNosoratori2
      @TsukabuNosoratori2 5 років тому +1

      My mom even laughed at that one. And she's highly religious.

    • @GorillaKami
      @GorillaKami 5 років тому

      I like how I read this comment that scene immediately comes on

  • @HrothgarWaffleslayer013
    @HrothgarWaffleslayer013 3 роки тому +599

    Seras: *dying sounds*
    Alucard: "Yeah yeah, gimme a minute"

    • @applecider2754
      @applecider2754 3 роки тому +4

      Who’s seras lol

    • @aluheytz289
      @aluheytz289 3 роки тому +4

      @@applecider2754 you dumb fuck

    • @masacross8551
      @masacross8551 3 роки тому +7

      @@applecider2754
      The girl in the yellow shirt who fights alongside Walter, Alucard, and Integra.

    • @applecider2754
      @applecider2754 3 роки тому +12

      I’m getting so many replies when the joke was the only name that matters for her is “police girl”

    • @brenothelast
      @brenothelast 3 роки тому

      @@aluheytz289 If he doesnt know the girl's fuckin name it probably means he didnt watch the show and its watching this first instead...

  • @basketcasejacegaming8673
    @basketcasejacegaming8673 6 місяців тому +9

    Can we just say that this has one of the absolute best opening songs? It’s so chaotically appropriate. 😂

  • @HydraDominus
    @HydraDominus 4 роки тому +719

    Can't believe it's been 10 years since this first came out, I was just starting high school at that point and now I'm 24.

    • @wolfiewiggins2810
      @wolfiewiggins2810 4 роки тому +7

      Hello? Yes, this is chief I’m gonna be there in 6 1/2 years😭😭😭

    • @dahgurr4833
      @dahgurr4833 4 роки тому +3

      Hello? Yes, this is chief the parody or the anime?

    • @TheShadowgirlaa12
      @TheShadowgirlaa12 4 роки тому +3

      Omg same here i remeber watching this freshman year XD

    • @HydraDominus
      @HydraDominus 4 роки тому

      @@dahgurr4833 the parody. The anime came out in like 2008 I think

    • @slimmtatey4205
      @slimmtatey4205 4 роки тому +1

      Yup that’s how time works lol

  • @McSomething15
    @McSomething15 9 днів тому +4

    "That's a stupid fucking gimmik, and everyone knows it."
    That aged amazingly well.

  • @Shaddowkhan
    @Shaddowkhan 3 роки тому +452

    Guard: Where you from?
    Little brother: Texas * pulls out guns *

    • @codyholley
      @codyholley 3 роки тому +17

      Hmmm sounds about right

    • @pugking1233
      @pugking1233 3 роки тому +10

      I'm from Texas and the first time I watched that bit my first thought was ya that's about right

  • @NationalDevin
    @NationalDevin 4 роки тому +285

    The antitank rifle scene ending with Jake laughing was the best call ever.

    • @ethancrytzer5809
      @ethancrytzer5809 4 роки тому +6

      It's also a sound for tiktok. Rainbow 6 siege tiktok compilations

    • @nathanmigneault8542
      @nathanmigneault8542 3 роки тому +4

      oh shit its an anti-tank rifle
      OH SHIT ITS AN ANTI-TANK RIFLE!!!!!!

  • @spaghettiboi6738
    @spaghettiboi6738 Рік тому +535

    "HEY KIDS WANNA SEE A DEAD BODY?!" Is my favorite scene in this whole series.

    • @Namida-u9b
      @Namida-u9b Рік тому +15

      It’s like a older brother when he gets bored

    • @averyfields8183
      @averyfields8183 Рік тому

      ​@@Namida-u9bthat has the same energy that I give off to my younger sibling.

  • @tatym7389
    @tatym7389 Місяць тому +3

    It's still one of my favorite thing to watch years later.

  • @Sabis2365
    @Sabis2365 4 роки тому +429

    "See that Frenchie? I can make him say whatever I want. White Chicks was amazing."
    "White Chicks was amazing."
    "See? And he believes it too."

    • @cunningsmile4166
      @cunningsmile4166 4 роки тому +26

      Euugh

    • @cunningsmile4166
      @cunningsmile4166 4 роки тому +22

      Scarlet Tampon to Sticky Sock. The Crimson Fucker has checked in. I repeat; the Crimson Fucker has checked in. Also, I'm choosing the godamn nicknames next time!

  • @justsomerandomanimefan1135
    @justsomerandomanimefan1135 4 роки тому +418

    “White chicks was amazing” damn Alucard truly is a monster to have forced him to believe that

    • @brennabrodbeck5183
      @brennabrodbeck5183 4 роки тому +13

      Maybe write a strongly worded letter about it

    • @madmangoodday8415
      @madmangoodday8415 4 роки тому +8

      AMD send to him by carrier pigeon till you die and he may actually write back

    • @gegasmeef7850
      @gegasmeef7850 4 роки тому +7

      White chicks is a masterpiece you're tripping!!

    • @e.m.p.3394
      @e.m.p.3394 4 роки тому +10

      White Chicks was a great movie.

    • @madmangoodday8415
      @madmangoodday8415 4 роки тому +3

      I was vibing bois and gals I guess
      Cause of the fear Turkey scene

  • @Sam-ep2yo
    @Sam-ep2yo 4 роки тому +561

    "The girl belongs to me"? When Integra says this is she referencing the disturbing dream with the "this man belongs to me" line that Bram Stoker claims inspired him to write Dracula?
    If so...genius.

    • @tntimothyroditi1576
      @tntimothyroditi1576 4 роки тому +22

      Pretty sure it was in the actual show

    • @pupurle2204
      @pupurle2204 4 роки тому +8

      Can you tell me more about that dream please I can't find anything about this :/

    • @Sam-ep2yo
      @Sam-ep2yo 4 роки тому +37

      @@pupurle2204 I read somewhere that Bram Stoker, prior to writing Dracula, had a dream where a man stopped a beautiful woman from kissing his throat, saying "this man belongs to me". Either that's the inspiration or it's this one stage actor Stoker really liked who had an almost hypnotic presence

    • @pupurle2204
      @pupurle2204 4 роки тому +7

      @@Sam-ep2yo I see thanks you a lot that's quite fascinating!

    • @cutieshark
      @cutieshark 4 роки тому +7

      Sam I keep reading this over and over and it this has some really gay vibes.

  • @JMSM84
    @JMSM84 Рік тому +1079

    “Hey Dandy-Dick! Ya missed! Whoopwhoopwhoopwhoopwhoop!”
    Always makes me laugh. Every. Time.

    • @ItzRokkiYT
      @ItzRokkiYT 7 місяців тому +24

      Had me dying first time I watched, Was not expecting it lol

    • @cunningsmile4166
      @cunningsmile4166 5 місяців тому +13

      Zoidberg!!! 🦀

    • @PhillipKunze
      @PhillipKunze 3 місяці тому +3

      37:23

    • @dylanwillmon5672
      @dylanwillmon5672 21 день тому +2

      Thats by and far the best joke in the series, everytine i see this part i have a fit of laughter

    • @holdencross5904
      @holdencross5904 12 днів тому

      Just reading this makes me giggle

  • @Uzielsquibb
    @Uzielsquibb Рік тому +15

    “The Aristocrats” line has killed me for a decade…..

  • @RabblesTheBinx
    @RabblesTheBinx 3 роки тому +1080

    Who else is rewatching this series for at least the 10th time... since it finished?

    • @darksaiyan7865
      @darksaiyan7865 3 роки тому +25

      Oh no this is my 40th time watching it all

    • @jjw5731
      @jjw5731 3 роки тому +9

      40th? Heh, what a noob.

    • @VulcanWolf
      @VulcanWolf 3 роки тому +10

      One does not simply keep track of (re)watches. lol

    • @lancerizzy
      @lancerizzy 3 роки тому +2

      Bro ive watched the whole series every week for two years

    • @ivantoe207
      @ivantoe207 3 роки тому +2

      I'm just going to say yes. But honestly I've lost count.

  • @VikSun14618
    @VikSun14618 7 років тому +5712

    I asked my girlfriend if she likes cannons... she said yes....

  • @holycarp1676
    @holycarp1676 Місяць тому +4

    Every time I hear that priest guy from the past I can't stop imagining it being said by Alex Louis Armstrong

  • @thehumantemmie2942
    @thehumantemmie2942 5 років тому +1371

    "HEY KIDS WANNA SEE A DEAD BODY?"
    IM **KING DEAD

    • @Bob_the_destroyer
      @Bob_the_destroyer 5 років тому +15

      That Logan Paul alright. Sorry my French just " FUCK THE POLICE."

    • @SorowFame
      @SorowFame 5 років тому +12

      And so is Alucard technically given he's a vampire.

    • @JordanDragonAs
      @JordanDragonAs 4 роки тому +8

      You know what's sad this was before Logan Paul

    • @Letsjammwithjustin
      @Letsjammwithjustin 4 роки тому +2

      Best part

    • @SStarry_Days
      @SStarry_Days 4 роки тому +3

      I laughed for like 30 seconds

  • @Unknown-dm8tn
    @Unknown-dm8tn 2 роки тому +940

    "It was the NAZIS wasn't it ?" One of my favourite lines ever lol

  • @jewelgriffon
    @jewelgriffon 3 роки тому +892

    “And we came all the way out here with these foreign exchange students on a field trip through England”
    “Where from?”
    “Texas”
    Killed me lol

  • @deckertristan1533
    @deckertristan1533 Рік тому +7

    The face Alucard makes while Luce is giving his little speech about being a demigod is terrifying🤩

  • @kourtneyr.scruggs0988
    @kourtneyr.scruggs0988 4 роки тому +485

    The Nazi reveal...
    "Gentlemen... Ve are Nazis... Und ve... will have vaaaar... Und ve... UND VE---!"
    I don't even care about the sneeze being the punch line because that bit of dialogue is worth a thousand rewatches from me.

  • @someguyinjeans5273
    @someguyinjeans5273 5 років тому +747

    “Jesus wants a hug”
    I died laughing

    • @benjaminwurtz1811
      @benjaminwurtz1811 4 роки тому +26

      i went to brazil and I fucking did that

    • @thebarrellord.6683
      @thebarrellord.6683 4 роки тому +19

      Benjamin Wurtz
      Well done. You have officially done something that I want to do. Your my hero

    • @marieparisi4522
      @marieparisi4522 4 роки тому +4

      I laughed dying
      P.s like 400

    • @jonathanjackson4136
      @jonathanjackson4136 4 роки тому +2

      @@marieparisi4522 like 400 😄

    • @cunningsmile4166
      @cunningsmile4166 4 роки тому +9

      Its gonna be a meme for those traveling to Brazil. "JESUS WANTS A HUG"

  • @wilhelmcooning
    @wilhelmcooning 7 років тому +1740

    "Like the nazis?"
    "That would be retarded."
    LATER
    "Gentlemen... We... Are NAZIS."
    First saw that joke years ago, but it still breaks me every single time.

  • @SuperUniverse
    @SuperUniverse 5 місяців тому +5

    Who else still watches this Legendary series? :)

  • @ryanchong9965
    @ryanchong9965 2 роки тому +1038

    Alucard being a manchild is the funniest shit ever

    • @lazydelibird
      @lazydelibird 2 роки тому +22

      And unlike every manchild ever, he can get away with being one.

    • @megasparkles532
      @megasparkles532 2 роки тому +98

      "I am a fuckmothering vampire and i killed ALOT of people to get this title so I deserve to be called such!"

    • @ryanchong9965
      @ryanchong9965 2 роки тому +13

      @@megasparkles532 fuckmothering vampire manchild is quite the title

    • @megasparkles532
      @megasparkles532 2 роки тому +23

      @@ryanchong9965 and yet it describes him perfectly!

    • @openaardvark419
      @openaardvark419 2 роки тому +22

      Well, the manga compares vampires to children, so it makes sense

  • @FFKonoko
    @FFKonoko 3 роки тому +624

    "that guy who can stop me, Michael McDoesntExist"
    Heh..

    • @jacoblester5822
      @jacoblester5822 3 роки тому +18

      If only he knew.

    • @thecoloradokid5418
      @thecoloradokid5418 3 роки тому +15

      Little did he know only loli alucard could stop himself

    • @mirage4023
      @mirage4023 3 роки тому +13

      @@thecoloradokid5418 lolicard*

    • @alilweeb7684
      @alilweeb7684 3 роки тому +3

      @@jacoblester5822 took me a while to get that one

  • @CoryxKenshinxChin
    @CoryxKenshinxChin Місяць тому +2

    Alucard: "HEY KIDS WANNA SEE A DEAD BODY?!"
    Hunters: *Confused Screaming*

  • @allisonearnest5507
    @allisonearnest5507 3 роки тому +456

    "You missed! Woopwoopwoop."
    I dying every time! So good! I've probably watched these videos over 30 times in my life and they never get old!

    • @pokepro082
      @pokepro082 3 роки тому +2

      Daily for me

    • @xNobodyOfConsequenceX
      @xNobodyOfConsequenceX 3 роки тому +5

      HEY, DANDY DICK!

    • @715008073
      @715008073 3 роки тому +2

      I was drinking the first time I saw that seen and shot whiskey out my nose XD

    • @LilXezon_1121
      @LilXezon_1121 3 роки тому +1

      HEY DANDY DICK! YOU MISSED! WOOPWOOPWOOPWOOP!

    • @blackieechan6215
      @blackieechan6215 3 роки тому

      @first sur Naturalmente, don’t worry about it, I’m sure they’re fine.
      But just in case, you may want to send more men

  • @aurielwillette4188
    @aurielwillette4188 Рік тому +1375

    Having watched the original series back in the early 2000's, this is--glorious does not begin to explain it. It's a comedic masterpiece.

    • @mese1650
      @mese1650 Рік тому +5

      Can you explain the Anthony Hopkins joke please ?

    • @zhertva0d
      @zhertva0d Рік тому +15

      @@mese1650 I guess it's a Silence of the Lambs reference.

    • @fightfannerd2078
      @fightfannerd2078 Рік тому

      No it's not

    • @fightfannerd2078
      @fightfannerd2078 Рік тому

      Team 4 star is trash

    • @mese1650
      @mese1650 Рік тому +14

      @@fightfannerd2078 thats rich coming from you hahaha. You're ridiculous

  • @gravatea8681
    @gravatea8681 7 років тому +618

    You activated his Alu-card.

    • @pixeltreason2968
      @pixeltreason2968 7 років тому +3

      Gravatea lol his "Alu-card" 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @Prsethsun
      @Prsethsun 7 років тому +8

      Gravatea any1 notice alucard is dracula spelled backwards??

    • @Usakachi
      @Usakachi 7 років тому +6

      +Exo Games
      In the game castelvania ,it's the reincarnation of Dracula .

    • @VVindigou
      @VVindigou 7 років тому +8

      Exo Games
      No shit exo! We are so glad that you informed everyone of that so valuable information.
      Thank u🖕🏿

    • @thedude3065
      @thedude3065 7 років тому +7

      yugi: ALU CARDO!!!

  • @unprankable666
    @unprankable666 7 місяців тому +4

    I praise the random chance that put this in my recommended and introduced me to this series. Not just the abridged, but the actual show. Such a treasure.

  • @LMR1182
    @LMR1182 7 років тому +487

    "Put me between your leeeeegs-- GOD DAMMIT" XD I love this

  • @nckum-astreams2163
    @nckum-astreams2163 Рік тому +411

    “JESUS WANTS A HUG!” Is the most wholesome thing that’ll come from Alucard.

    • @johnkelly8667
      @johnkelly8667 Рік тому +29

      Realistically speaking the first thing Jesus would do after coming back to earth is give everyone a hug.

    • @snafuthegreat
      @snafuthegreat Рік тому +6

      Even better was that the line was ad-libbed.

    • @theotherohlourdespadua1131
      @theotherohlourdespadua1131 10 місяців тому +3

      ​@@johnkelly8667If you didn't read the Book of Revelations...

    • @ItzRokkiYT
      @ItzRokkiYT 7 місяців тому

      I'm saying this if I go to Brazil now lmao

  • @kayleenunez7050
    @kayleenunez7050 3 місяці тому +8

    37:20 the way Alucard ran up the wall got me laughing 😭🙏

  • @wyattbooth9918
    @wyattbooth9918 5 років тому +304

    Alucard: kills the main characters in Twilight
    Me: "I think I like this character!"

    • @innerhaku6784
      @innerhaku6784 5 років тому

      No

    • @RuJakSuwen
      @RuJakSuwen 5 років тому

      Agrees

    • @TheAkrillion
      @TheAkrillion 5 років тому +4

      To be fair, that was the police girl...
      with the big titties.

    • @FBI-ju5no
      @FBI-ju5no 5 років тому

      Best.....opening......EVER!!!!

    • @ArbiterofTruth
      @ArbiterofTruth 5 років тому

      If only it had all ended that way *Thinks of a bloody, yet poorly acted massacre*

  • @Montesama314
    @Montesama314 2 роки тому +3215

    "I could try seducing him?"
    Can anyone imagine Seras ACTUALY TRYING to seduce someone?

    • @Pikman-wb8uc
      @Pikman-wb8uc 2 роки тому +164

      Ha, that’d be funny

    • @thelastmohican951
      @thelastmohican951 2 роки тому +462

      Especially bc she’s not an 8 year old boy

    • @jonsimpson6240
      @jonsimpson6240 2 роки тому +115

      Pretty sure it would go something like:
      "Big tiddies!"

    • @lukeoates1248
      @lukeoates1248 2 роки тому +183

      Starting seras couldnt seduce the most repulsive being by the end she can seduce god himself

    • @levantdiggerus3473
      @levantdiggerus3473 2 роки тому +98

      Ahem .
      Schrodinger.

  • @tommybusse6322
    @tommybusse6322 12 днів тому +2

    Wanna know what's funny? I just now noticed that Anderson whenever he says "too many lies" it's just a vampire version of Sheamus's theme lol

  • @williambutler7881
    @williambutler7881 4 роки тому +827

    When you forget Intregra is really 22 years old...

    • @michaelweiske702
      @michaelweiske702 4 роки тому +193

      That's a woman?
      She is twenty two?

    • @revolverocelot1380
      @revolverocelot1380 4 роки тому +180

      A true fucking goddess. I was useless at 22. No wonder alucard is her dog. I'd happily be her pet.

    • @Toxin_Glitch
      @Toxin_Glitch 4 роки тому +104

      Revolver Ocelot _That’s kinky_

    • @davidthorp01
      @davidthorp01 4 роки тому +56

      Fuck, now I feel what she feels on a daily basis...disappointment and stress.

    • @megarhombus7532
      @megarhombus7532 4 роки тому +7

      @@davidthorp01 lamo i probaly cut off alucard's balls by then

  • @SpaceDaddy212
    @SpaceDaddy212 Рік тому +2184

    "Gentlemen... we are nazi (German shouting) and we.... Hal have war??" Shit had me rolling lmao

  • @Montesama314
    @Montesama314 4 роки тому +560

    It's kinda weird foreshadowing that "Michael McDoesntExist" is basically the one person who DOES end up defeating Alucard.

  • @FoolsGil
    @FoolsGil Місяць тому +1

    Anderson and Alucard were about to go for a walk all over that museum! Love this show.

  • @PhotonDragon16
    @PhotonDragon16 3 роки тому +372

    "HEY KIDS WANNA SEE A DEAD BODY!"
    Ad plays

    • @Not_amused1624
      @Not_amused1624 3 роки тому +13

      *Screaming*
      "STOP SCREAMING!"
      *whimpering*

    • @xHellspawn13x
      @xHellspawn13x 3 роки тому +3

      “So what’s up with the pride meeting?”

    • @aidenproulx3849
      @aidenproulx3849 3 роки тому +3

      Raid shadow legends

    • @juangalan3258
      @juangalan3258 3 роки тому

      You... BLOODY FUCKING TOO?

    • @Rahnonymous
      @Rahnonymous 3 роки тому

      @first sur Their first mistake was hiring Frenchmen. Their second was hiring Frenchmen to fight German Nazis. All in all, what did they expect would happen in the end?

  • @Zach-ol8jy
    @Zach-ol8jy Рік тому +235

    "Well I was just chillaxing in my room like a baller, and all of a sudden these schmucks kicked in my door!
    One of them yelled out: 'Get on your knees,' and I responded with 'I'M NOT YOUR MOTHER LAST NIGHT'
    And they took exception to that."
    Also,
    "Hey guys how's your health plan?
    APPARENTLY IT'S GREAT"
    The writing on this show was so damn good LOL

    • @Allantitan
      @Allantitan 5 місяців тому +5

      And don’t forget alucard going “om nom nom nom” 😂

  • @4420kef
    @4420kef 9 місяців тому +2

    That:"uh-uh-uhh, none of the sass" at 04:54 made giggle. Still picking up gems after metric shitton of time I've watched this series.