Expectations Cause Suffering | Ajahn Brahm | 24 June 2022
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- Опубліковано 23 чер 2022
- Ajahn Brahm explains how expectations cause us to suffer (i.e. expectations of ourselves and others).
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Recorded at Dhammaloka Buddhist Centre, Perth, Western Australia.
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In my younger years , I worked so hard to try and “ fit in “ ! All I got was unhappiness. Now I’m 66 and a recent cancer survivor and I’m happier than I’d ever been. Mostly because I don’t really care what others think of me. The cancer diagnosis eight months ago woke me up to Dhamma.
sounds great - almost same here… in 2014 … it‘s never too late - enjoy every little moment
I am still learning and improving not to fit in and not care what others say… I try to listen to myself and my heart what is good for me. The more I practice Dharma the less I am interested in these surface social stuff ;-))
Nice! A lot of progress and transformation can happen in 8 months, especially when mortality comes and drives your practice through the roof like rocket fuel.
enjoy 😉
Be ourselves by ourselves not by them !!!
@@beki1377 very true, that challenge woke you up. Wishing you strength and joy.
Dear Ajahn Brahm, you have not changed your teaching for years,-all about compassion, kindness and honor values. You keep your pure, sincere, and warm heart. 🎉Thank you for setting up an extraordinary sample of a leader.
These talks have been so helpful in my life, I am watching before I go to work. This has become a habit that has stuck with me. Such a wonderful group of souls you have at the Society. Thanks for all you do! 😊
I m addicted to Ajahn Brahm’s talks.. always listening to him in the morning , at night , during commute .. I would like to visit Perth someday and be under his presence .. hope my wish comes true
Thank you for such a wonderful talk! ❤
The door of my heart ❤is open here in ct USA I live in a multi cultural area this morning im sharing Buddhism with a Dominican man and a woman from elsalvador.
Im taking a field trip to Carmel NY to see amazing monestary this week.
All this craze about ASMR on UA-cam. Have you heard of these videos? They’re supposed to relax you and give you tingly sensations. But I find Ajahn Brahm’s videos the best ASMR videos available, and he doesn’t even tag them as such. The message is a bonus.
I watch them before work and bed and they help so much. I almost want to take my vows, the only thing stopping me is I have a 6 year old son and I have to work and have him in my life. Doug's Dharma is another good YT buddhism channel.
I always fall asleep with his voice
@@donutblendy4904that's because your gae
Thanks so much, it is always joyful to hear from Ajahn Brahm
He is my fav now.I’ve been binge watching Ajahn brahm to achieve this innate stillness… he is my hero 😊
Ajahn, this was a great dharma talk. Thank you so much. Sadhu. Sadhu. Sadhu. 🙏🙏🙏
Ahjan gives such inspiration so,so pleased that I discovered his chats on you tube, am now a daily avid listener.
He is an Amazing Human being x
Dear modern Father of Buddhism, l am learning meditation, and l feel listening to you is like meditating itself.
Thank you Ven. Ajahn Brahm for your very wise but entertaining talks. They always put my mind at rest as the words flow from your mouth like a gentle stream without any pre-planned script. That is so beautiful amazing🙏
M..
Loved the three marriage rings!!! unrealistic expectation and trying to fit in by pleasing others causes us much suffering
I have been to Serpentine buddhist monastery ....and blessed enough to meet Ajan Brham...personally ....Namo Buddhaya
Thank you from Minneapolis
I am so grateful for your talks. Thank you.
🙏🏼❤
AJ is a gift to humans. It matters NOT where you came from; what MATTERS is where you GO.
🤲👀🤳
Thank You for sharing your wisdom love and time.
So grateful 🙏🏼 May all being be happy
Love this talk. Thank you Ajahn Brahm!
Because he cares. Monks see and they use their empathy. If her body (skin on her abdomen) was turning blue from the cold, it is natural to look and care.
This is a parental feeling. Also, monks develop interoception, I think, which is sensing the body. Good health
Thank you! You touched my heart!
Sadhu Sadhu Sadhu! 🙏🙏🙏
Sadhu sadhu sadhu 🙏
Spot on..I subscribed
Sadhu Sadhu Sadhu 🙏🙏🙏
Thanks.
I hope that if Ajahn Brahm or any of his friends read this that they know I mean it as a compliment rather than a criticism. I looked at his oldest videos from when he just came to Australia, I believe 12 or 13 years ago, and I think he has definitely become more effective and more mature speaker. I don't mean it at all about physical age. But I think there was something in him at that time that maybe seemed like he couldn't calm emotions very well. Now he is very good at this.
Thankyou🙏🏼
Thank you 🦋
Sadhu sadhu sadhu.
🙏🙏🙏Sadhu….Sadhu….Sadhu….
Semoga semua mahluk berbahagia 🙏🙏🙏
" “The human mind is so stupid, it goes on expecting. It exists through expectations. It is a great moment if you can really drop all expectations. And when all expectations are dropped, then anything that you have repressed in the past will come back. You call them bad habits. Your very word, the choice of the word, says that you must have repressed them. You may not have been able to accept them, so you rejected them.
Now when expectations are falling and you are becoming natural, all those rejected, disclaimed parts will again claim. They would like to be absorbed in your being. They are yours. You have been trying to forget them. You have been throwing them into the basement. But now, when you are becoming natural, they will say ‘Let us also come back home.’ So please don’t call them bad any more, otherwise you will again repress them.
I’m not saying that they are going to remain with you. If they are really bad, they will disappear. You need not call them bad. A man who has no expectations cannot be bad. He can only be natural - and whatsoever is natural, is good. To be natural is to be good. They are synonymous to me. I don’t have any other idea of good beyond being natural. If your goodness goes against nature, it is bad. If your badness goes with nature, it is good. That’s what my morality is. That’s what my whole standpoint is.
“Somewhere you have been wrong in your interpretations - calling something bad. If it goes with your nature, it is good - whatsoever it is. If it does not go with your nature, there is no need to repress it; it will drop on its own accord.
Just be natural. By and by you will see that it is disappearing. Maybe it was there because you were repressing it.
“This is the greatest thing that can happen to a person. It has happened. Your expectations are fulfilled. Now drop them! And just be natural. Love and enjoy life. There is no need to fight. And nothing is bad - maybe small human weaknesses, but nothing is bad.
“This is my observation - that people who have a few human weaknesses are very good people. If you live with them, you will enjoy them. People who are inhumanly good are unbearable. You cannot live with them - they will crush you. Their very presence is ugly, heavy. They will turn you into a thing. Their very gaze will reduce you, and you will feel like a worm because their whole mind will be condemnatory."
Willie,
The last paragraph is very poignant observation n perception. True indeed. I understand completely.
A small sample of my former auditing professional. Every time I walked into Accounting office in my former job; the buzzing noises suddently dropped into hushed voices among my co-workers. I got the feeling they felt inferior in office status because my job was to FIND errors n mistakes n imperfection in their work performance.. they felt my gaze was very condemning or condescending when in reality I was not intentionally do that, was not aware it was interpreted that way by coworkers due to my position as auditor. This is just an example.. dont hang around with perfect human, it be can very suffocating n stressful. You cant measure up to them. Wkwkwk..
@@peacebe2u480 Thank you for your response. The words I posted are from a talk by Osho.
Sadhu Sadhu Saaaaaadhuuu ❤️
Healing Beauftial Video.
Ty
Wow, I used to get off the tube at Least Acton every morning to go to school, walked past the Scrubs to Clement Danes. We got beat up in White City.
East Acton***
@@gillian6530 Least Acton
@@richardstonk4348 lol
Lol
Master Buddha
🙏🏼💓🙏🏼
1:45 that's more about associations to positive feedback than expectations.
🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Supermonks!
🙏💐💐🙏🌝❤🇱🇰
How do I get the book, Open the Door of your Heart. I want, want, !!! a copy. Thank You. Smiley face.
Acton Town behind the station 😂
What is the difference between a Hebrew, Jew, Zionist, Christian, Lutheran, Catholic, Sunni, Shia, Muslim, no one really knows and no one can explain. All people are the same and want the same things.
Good for them, let them wear whatever makes them happy. Is it Ajahn Brahm's place to make assumptions as to the reason they wore what they wore or that it caused them suffering? Also, he questions them trying to fit in and then makes a point about monks not fitting in. Monks may not fit in with the wider society, no more than many youth sub cultures, but, much like youth sub cultures, monks do fit in with other monks.
Good point about monks trying to fit in somewhere this is true . Many people end up monk for the wrong reasons they rarely stay for long or the create some bad places twist the teachings to fit their cravings etc . The exact reason why I did not become monk is because I wanted it to feel that I belonged somewhere , to fit in …
His battle with own clothes makes me guess why so many people came to listen to him.
Loose robe, relaxed monk
Difficult crowd 😁
Vedanta teaches bad karma can be undone
Karma cant be undone. It can be lessened the impact when it comes to collect its debts so to speak. Example was Buddha Sidharta Gautama, he let a spear injured his leg that dropped from the sky so to speak. A karmic retribution from eons past of his life.
Karmic formations will materialize when conditions are present then it s gone if you don t cling to it and create new Karma :) that s why you should not cling to anything and need the 4 foundations of mindfulness to do the work … see dépendant originations back and forth see how it works . Not just dig a hole and bury your head in it ;)
well… not every meditation teacher has to give up his family and become a monk… this answer I found a bit unrealistic… we are grateful that so many meditation teacher exist. even Jack Cornfield - very famous buddhist teacher - has a wife and can combine that…
My advise would be he should build up his meditation teacher „job“ separately and when it’s his time he can be that fulltime… trust in the universe and your own journey 🙏🏻
Beki,
A meditator is just a meditator.
Ajahns mean in Thai *Teachers* .
They have something/knowledge to impart to whomever want to receive.
Monk hood is not a profession.
It is a calling, being a Buddhist monk required this person to walk away from the mundane world such as marriage, having own family, but this does not mean really separate from their family. Their relationship remain parents n children, brothers n sisters, but as monks, they are now aware that their own feeling are No longer the same quality, this attachment is no longer presence.
Many Caucasians become Monks in later life, depending on the discipline of sectarian they choose, they are accepted into monk hood. In other sect, they will be rejected because it can be called *walking away from their own responsibilities as a parent* or whatnots. They are called escapists. Harsh words. Thus, majority of sects accept young kids so they can be shaped, formed, brainwashed = rewiring, and easily can fit into their communal society.
Jack Kornfield is also a millionaire. That in itself makes him suspect.
... hot here?
Warm
02:24 You say the monks and nuns don't try to fit in but all of you copy each other entirely to where ts very ridiculous.
They actually renounce to vanity . People who just want to fit in to stay monk for long , most of the time they don’t even make it through the door :) leaving all behind is not easy to think about renunciation in the same way as teenagers copying videos on tik tok . Try giving up to all that you were and all you could have been , living all your stuff friends and family behind going to a far distant country shaving your head and eye brows just to fit in . That kind of intention is not strong enough . Only pure faith can help you doing such extreme thing , it s exactly like watching yourself die and letting go
Too bad you got lost in believing the commentaries are the teachings of the Buddha . Nimittas are pretty yeah sure it s just pretty traps … sama samadhi still has the 4 foundations of mindfulness except innthev8 th jhana . In samatha jhana no work can be done there is no contact … not the jhanas described by Buddha . He clearly said don t go there it s a dead end but people even clever monks still fall into this trap . How many of your monks have attained stream entry by practicing concentration ? You seemed to be a great monk thou hope you ll find your way back in the dhamma
Why is a monk paying so much attention to what yong women in public wear though? Like, I don't know, don't look? But your discomfort with it either way does not, by default, mean THEY are "bad". You also assert they were "suffering". How would you know how they felt? Do you ask every woman you see, who's attire you don't approve of but can't seem not to notice, if shes "suffering", or do you just ASSUME it? Careful bhante.
Because it is a spiritual environment, and it was also in conflict with the weather. They're sacrifice for perceived fashion. To fit in.. elsewhere. A cardigan would be a compromise.
@@Skyelement84KWell said!!!
@@chilldragon4752 Yeah I remember exactly what you're talking about. I thought it was also rude what he said about thich nhat hanh the same day he died. Rip to him.
@@nomadhabit Man you need to relax. I saw the video and I feel it was disrespectful and that's exactly what he said. I didn't see the one about the bikini girls but don't you think that's a bit strange for a monk to say these things? I'm just asking there's no need to be rude to each other here.
I thought Ajahn Brahm was experiencing a human condition regarding Thay. Jealousy. 🤷♀️ I don't hold him to be an enlightened Buddha, he's a great teacher tho. 99% terrific. I was briefly disappointed and forgive him. He says he has often been in trouble for talking/saying wrong speech. (If you speak alot, one is bound to screw up.) If you are like "those others" and love to fault find, then don't let me stop you. However, eventually you will either get the comments shut off or no dhamma for free. Your choice. Personally, I believe fault finders, in this environment, should go elsewhere to spill mud. 🤔 I am working so hard at improving my own behavior... ✨️💃✨️❣️