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Signs to beware of. 1. No healing from previous relationship. Jump into a situationship right after previous girl. Most of the time he’s cheating on his partner.2.Hooks up had sex while in or shortly after recent break up. 3.Talks bad about “crazy” ex. 4. Moves too fast, not getting too know each other. 5. Gives you rules about his phone. It means that he’s hiding things. 9 out of 10 times he’s a narcissist. They love bomb, groom, devalue, gaslight, triangulate, trauma bond, discard. These person lacks empathy. It’s all about him. Once you can’t give him the high from good or bad energy he usually has someone else behind your back to replace you then throws you away like yesterday’s garbage. It’s very painful because everything was fake. Guard your heart. He is capable of destroying you emotionally. Sometimes permanently.
I have been in the same situation , he broke up with me after being with me for two years and suddenly he says coz his ex called him , he became emotionally weak. , Also other girls have always been in his life , so it was a double whammy fir me anyways.
Had one that threw some domestic violence into the mix based on delusional jealousy as well. Absolutely devastating, just nothing is what it seems or is just worthless.
My first ever relationship I was the rebound. I didn’t know because I had never been in a relationship before and I didn’t know what to expect but there were major red flags. He constantly brought up his exes in conversation and talked about how painful his last breakup was. Immediately after we made it official he said he loved me and that ultimately threw me off guard. He wanted to and I quote “Be more with me” only a couple of weeks after dating. When he did bring up his ex he said he wasn’t completely over her. He broke up with me after his ex made a reappearance in his life. It sucked because I felt like I was used to help him heal until she walked back into his life again.
Girli hope you’re good . I’m going through it finding out I was the rebound has me all the way messed up I’m so down he begged to be with me cried real tears . He wasn’t over his 55 year old ex ( nothing wrong with older women )that I found out about looking through his phone .me and him are 26 years old . I feel so used and low I did no contact he came back but left because that’s who he wanted he just used me as an option I feel like I’m about to die I can’t get up out my bed
Rebounding is real and its damaging. Never really went out in public but when we did he walked 2 feet away from me. Talked about both his sexes all the time. Did compliment me a lot at first. But then stopped. Chemistry was wild and passionate. Told me I made him feel alive. Then drained me. Started changing his looks . Exercising . Would invite me over then take off with his friends after I drove 3 hours to see him. Always secretive. Always hiding his phone. I fixed him. I helped him heal. He left me feeling worthless. I'm over it. I have my own self worth to think about. Bye bye la...
Girli hope you’re good . I’m going through it finding out I was the rebound has me all the way messed up I’m so down he begged to be with me cried real tears . He wasn’t over his 55 year old ex ( nothing wrong with older women )that I found out about looking through his phone .me and him are 26 years old . I feel so used and low I did no contact he came back but left because that’s who he wanted he just used me as an option I feel like I’m about to die I can’t get up out my bed
I was a rebound for a man that was exiting a 14 year marriage where his wife cheated and she was a passed out drunk in front of her kids. Yet...he kept telling me that I didn’t understand how beautiful she was and what a great mom she was. On our first date he told me she looked like a supermodel. She doesn’t. I should’ve got up and left then. 🤦🏻♀️
He wouldn’t stop badmouthing his ex and comparing me to her. I took it as a compliment because it was in my favor... but it got so weird because it was constant.
He “love bombed” me and flat out said, “I can’t be alone” after he just got divorced 5 months earlier. Bye Felicia! I told him to call me in a year or two and if I were still available I’d be happy to see him.
Oh gawd!!! I can spot this a mile away! If they talk about their ex..red flag!! I actually asked one guy, why are you telling me all this. Are you wanting to introduce us? And he wanted answers now..what do I want. What am I looking for. Good lord I just want a burger! Lots of damaged people walking around. Including myself!! Hahah
Yeah, met a guy recently who exited an almost 20y relationship and we had a great connection and vibe and chemistry, but he does not want anything serious obviously right now. Still needs time to heal. I don't want to be a rebound or be treated badly. But I did like him a lot. Thinking just to stay friends for now and maybe deepen the connection as friends first. What would u recommend in this kind of situation?
Love bombing at first wanted to move in right away. Talked about ex a lot. Then started flirting with other women and telling me I was to jealous. When we split he was on dating sites and starting a close friendship with one of my female friends. It was the worst feeling in the world because he made me feel used
Happened recently to me. This man is still married but going through a divorce. He wanted to fast track me into a relationship. I told him he needed to close one door before opening another. He replied that he felt single so that made it ok. No it doesn't. I've been through a divorce. I definitely needed time to heal from it before I could move forward.
I was a rebound. He tried to make me feel special every time we saw each other. He talked how bad his past relationships was that he got always cheated. Like a big mess.
Yea he was a narcissist. Have a 4 year old son w him. I blocked him been a full 31 days. Im HAPPY AF. he always brought up x gf, never complimented me,a phat ass liar. Praise God! Im healing properly💯💯🙌♥️
I enjoy your videos so much! This one helped me to realize the most important thing about my ex. It wasn't about me, he was using me to heal... He was 100% present and engaged one day and absolutely cold next time we met. It lasted for almost a year. Then I found out he was in touch with his ex-wife. It's a good lesson for me. Thanks for this video, it helped me to sort out my feelings :)
I was his rebound and he was my 1st serious adult boyfriend. Back then, I didn’t even know there was such thing as a rebound. We have chemistry. He admitted it himself that he is afraid that I’m just his rebound. After we broke up, and I accidentally find videos on youtube about rebound, I realise what had happened: - he was fresh out of a one year relationship when he said he likes me and if possible would like me to take good care of him for the rest of his life - he kept hinting on meeting my family. Of course I did not invite him to meet my family because we’d been together for only a week! That was not enough for me. - we were friends before. We’d known each other for about 6 months and he always kind to me. But now I realised there are moments where he tried to belittle my opinion/beliefs in a very subtle way that made me thought I was the wrong one - he tried to make me feel like I’m in some sort of competition. One time, he mentioned a bunch of women he closed with and literally asked me why he should choose me. I was confused by his action, I had nothing to say and was only staring at him sikently - he was definitely hot and cold. And when I try to work on the relationship, he accused me of being clingy. I did not know any better back then, I thought I was the unhealthy one. But now I realise he was the one with mental issue - he told me that long long time ago, he dated a girl for 7yrs, and she cheated on him, and that breaks something inside him. There were so many red flags that I wasn’t aware of because he was my 1st adult relationship. It took me 3yrs to move on. I was at the bottom because I thought the problem was me.
Your experience kinda same to mine. We were set up by our mutual friend. I thought we can just be friend at first and not rushing into any kind of 'relationship'. But he confessed to me earlier after our 2nd date. I got a feeling that he was just in the phase of infatuation and not really in the love phase. So, I took some time to be officially in relationship with him. Just to make sure if he's truly like me for me. Not because anything else. But later after we went for few dates, i got some signs that he was not serious and just used me as his rebound 🙄. Every time we went date, one of his topic would be his Ex. It really annoyed me as hell. He actually not fully healed from his past relationship and keep on talking about his ex 🙄. Long story cut short, i dumped him. And he agreed straightway without questioning for an explanation. Few days after that, he tweeted about how much he missed his Ex which already be someone's else wife. So frustrating and with that he proved me that all my doubts about him were true.
I met a guy back in February at a work do and we made out, we texted for a couple of months then he turned me down. He contacted me the other day and admitted he had a gf when we messed around. But that it's over, a week ago. He did apologise profusely and said he felt like a POS but that he couldn't forget our make out session and just gave me so many compliments. He's super sad over the break up,I can tell. But he is still flirty. This is a recipe for disaster and I'm going to kindly bow out.
I was a rebound about a year ago. The guy had been with the girl for about three years and just broken up four months before. He moved to my city and started working at the same place with me. We met and instantly sparks flew. After our first date, we spent every moment together for weeks. Little did I know though, that he had convinced his ex girlfriend to move out there too, leading her on with the hopes that they were going to get back together. I started becoming suspicious but I thought surely he didn’t have what we had with anyone else. Then one day he picked me up and on the way to our date, he takes a call from his ex and sits there comforting her on the phone as she’s crying while I’m sitting right next to him. I could literally hear the whole conversation but for some reason, I spoke to him about it, he promised that he just felt bad for her because she didn’t know anyone in the new city yet and that he only wanted me and I just accepted that for fact. He told me that she was obsessed with him and followed him out there and so I just thought she was a psycho ex girlfriend. I told him to stop comforting her because he was leading her on and he agreed. With my upcoming graduation just a week away, he begged to come and meet my family. He said he was so excited to see where I came from and be there for me on my big day. So he came to my graduation and met everyone. I’m thinking I’m introducing my almost boyfriend to my family. Little did I know, the next day after he spoke to her on the phone in front of me, he had gone out on a movie date with her, taken her back to his place and slept with her. I was devastated and even then, he still tried to keep me on a string saying, “I made a mistake. Give me some time to work on myself so that I can be good enough for you”. All the while I’m thinking he may actually want to prove to me he can be serious, he’s just keeping me as a back up to mend his ego if things didn’t work out with her a second time around. He was definitely a player but he also showed a lot of signs of rebounding like the looming ex, trying to move the relationship way too fast and using me to help his self esteem issues. I learned so much from that and will hopefully never let someone like that in again.
He brings up his ex a lot…like how bad she did him (cheated on him 3 times) and how he doesn’t want her because he knows his value. But then he told me that his ex has contacted him several times saying she wants him back. He says he doesn’t want anything to do with her at all. Why is he even leaving the contact with her open?
This happened to me! The guy showed all of these signs, the worst was that he didn't compliment me! I told him I was going to the gym regularly, (I was making real progress, eating right and not drinking alcohol) he tried to downplay it then he asked me for a compliment for himself... I was gone. Left that minute. Told him why too, he looked like a deer in headlights but I was done. Thanks Ryan, once again your delivery is flawless and your facial expressions are hilarious!
I had my ex talk about taking his ex-wife's bird to the vet. They had been divorced for two years, and I was one of many of his rebounds. He just jumped from woman to woman after her. He even told me his best friend told him he should be single for a while. I missed a lot of red flags. Thanks for helping me finally get a clue!
Thanks for this. I just realized that I am not a rebound at all and it was just me always trying to bring conversations about my partners ex girlfriend when he never even talk about her at all. And whenever I bring conversations about him getting over her he's almost on his knees begging me to stop bringing topics about his ex girlfriend because she's no longer in the picture and it was a waste of time to talk about her and a crazy thing to still get jealoused over her when he never even see or talk to her at all.
In my story, the guy really thought he was over his ex, and told me he has not any affection towards her. Gradually it occured that he carried a lot of resentment, big red flag! He seemingly wanted to believe, that he had found something special, after previous, bad relationship. The guy was also healing from depression, and was quite open about it. Lot of his stories about himself, like self-esteem, was somehow related to his ex. She came up repeatedly in conversations, usually in neutral ways, and I ignored that because I thought he was just telling about himself and being open. Some comparison between me and his ex, and of course, in my favor. Like our connection felt more real than connection with his ex ever. Took it at face value, ignoring again, that our connection was also defined in terms to this ex.
A lot of people may disagree but I don’t even think a year post a serious relationship is enough time to heal. A year is just barely when the healing starts. My ex was divorced 2 years when i met him and i thought i was safe. But i was just a rebound and he ended up getting back with her anyway. Everyone’s healing time is different. But just think, the longer they were with someone, the longer the healing process
I have been a rebound too many times. He moved 100 miles an hour and he would talk about "her" quite often and when "she" wanted him back I was dropped like a hot potato.
Omg! I’m a rebound I knew it but now that I hear someone else say it.. but here’s something to consider...and your advice is appreciated..but I’ve met several men & everyone of them check all the rebound boxes too.. wth?? What to do? So I just innie Minnie miney mo and pick one with the least problems!??! Where are the healthy men at!!!????
I used a girl as a rebound back in college.. still feel terrible about it to this day. It was by no means intentional, I had absolutely no idea I was doing it. Had convinced myself I was over my ex but I wasn't. Not at all, and it blew up in my face terribly. But all I can do is learn from that experience and move forward.
@user-zv4zd9vj2k There was tons of remorse. I apologized, and after a couple years of healing, we actually became really good friends... appreciate the concern tho.
@@rand0m742well at least you felt remorse and apologized, I’m sure that brought her some peace. the guy who did it to me never admitted it, gaslit me, and broke my spirit speaking badly about me on the internet. then got with someone else within the same week he discarded me, and never apologized. 2 years later I’m still emotionally damaged and I barely knew him for a month. all I ever wanted was an apology, but he said I didn’t deserve it because I lashed out on him for using me. so.. at least you’re nothing like him. feeling remorse and regret for treating someone bad is a good sign. god will bless you again.
Well, my story was pretty straightforward, because that person told me so that I was the rebound guy after we'd been seeing each other for over 6 months and the ex wanted to work things out again with that person who said yes. So there you go! No signs needed. lol
How I knew I was the rebound girl? I went on a date with this divorced guy. He took me to a bar to play pool ....with...his...ex-wife’s...parents! They talked about his ex-wife the whole evening.🤦🏻♀️ There was no second date!
Came back from where he was other state to be exclusive with me. Met my parents. I met his family. He would talk to my brother in law about the problems he had with his ex-girlfriend. We are no longer together. All ended a few months after.
Ok Ryan, this one here really got me confused. I had to watch this video twice. So there's this guy in my life for the last 1 and half month and he's been pretty consistent in his behavior with me, present, caring, respectful, he does mentioned qualities that he appreciates in me, he has introduced me to 2 of his best friends, he is emotionally connected with me and we have a whole world in common, we are very in tune with each other. However, his last relationship was 4 years ago and after that he stayed totally broken and never had any other relationship than me now. In our conversations on the phone or while together, he keeps bringing stories quite often about different situations with his ex, and honestly, it's still so present in him that makes me feel that this is a relationship between 3. She's way too present in our life while together. Yes, he does have some things to be healed in himself, but he's not hot and cold with me, he has been pretty constant. Only in the beginning he would have some talks like forth and back, but as he started to really like, or love me, he stopped doing that. Soooo.... Yeah, but there's this one thing I internally decided. The next time he brings stories or behaviors of his ex to the table I will stop him right there and put the situation on the opposite side and ask him if he would like or how he would feel if I would do the same. And leave him really clear I am not interested in listening more of their stories and that I will not put up to it. It's becoming annoying by this point. Thank you for this video. The only two points that I can relate with is that he does bring a lot her on our talks and that he needs healing.
i don't think he is over her. he thinks about her and care about it waay too much... When i date, I deny and say I am over my ex, but I always end up talking about my ex accidentally. I know deep down i'm not emotionally healed from it either.
The eye contact is the key.. not looking at you, or looking away...its like someone is going though the motions.. but certainly the intense first few months and being treated like a GF straight away..deffo high energy, then low energy... you just cant put your fingers on the issue... this guy was 6 months down the line..so make sure its around a year, before your new partner is dating you..he also did not compliment me..he seemed scared to actually like me.. lol..its left me really upset..
😂😂 A boy I loved used me " without me knowing" to make his gf jealous. The Bible was right when it told us to guard our hearts for from it flows life. He (the boy) did a lot more damage and now I'm taking my time to heal
Im just going to slow things down. On the 3rd date he told me that he was interested in dating me seriously and that shit freaked me out so I told him we need to take it slow. He also tries to insert himself into my life like right after that date he found my social media’s, but that’s where I saw his ex gf. I guess his ex saw that he followed me and now shes been blowing up his line trying to get back with him. He tells me he’s serious about me and doesn’t want her, but they only broke up a month ago and I can’t help but feel unsure. I need to have a real conversation with him soon because I’m really starting to catch feeling for this guy
Lost his wife 4 months ago. He told he just wants to be friends. But then asks me things like what Sid of the bed to you sleep on. And other questions like we would be living together soon. Sends me a song from You tube Someone like you . That he has waited his whole life for someone like me. When we have only talked for a couple of weeks.
Yes I worked with him and his ex, and they barely talked. Now that I’m gone, he seems to have built an emotional connection with her. He brought her a candle because she asked for it, and then she talks to him about her boyfriend being abusive. He doesn’t love me but he had me meet his parents and claimed to love me. Then I was gaslighting myself for being good enough for him, because he seemed more involved then me.
I have been in a 8 month long situationship with a man who was in a 12 year long relationship. He was 3 months broken up when we met at a BBQ. We were attracted to each other because of the chemistry and compatibility. We have been spending time with each other non stop since meeting but the dynamic went from romantic to platonic after 2 1/2 months. He had to go back to his old life to sell his house. When he went back he started questioning everything and pulled away from me. It turns out he still has not fully start grieving yet. But instead of choosing to go back to his ex he chose to stay with me and commit to his decision to break up. He chose me because I showed him what a healthy relationship looks like. We both are ADHD as well and there are a lot of understandings on both sides that both our ex partners would shame us for. He is still going through the grieving process but does not want to let go of me. We are both attached and we spend a lot of time together and Ive met friends of his and some of his family. But we are only friends right now. Sometimes it feels like there is romance and there is def still chemistry. We have so much fun with each other and have been putting effort into communication and understanding one another's needs on both sides. I have stayed because of the potential and effort we both have put in. He has told me once he gets out on the other side of all this he wants to give it a shot with me again like things were at the start. I check all his boxes in what he wants but it's that emotional comfort and attachment he is still needing to get over. What does everyone think? Do you think I am wasting my time?
main sign is we met on a dating app soon after they broke up and he would vent about his ex a lot, we're not dating yet but I am keeping myself guarded and trying to detach until I know he is more moved on even though it's so hard detaching from someone you like.
I'm currently in a 2-year rebound and keep trying to break up with a guy but he keeps holding things over my head like my family and my two kids I can't break up with him I can't get away from him our relationship has already fizzled out and he's still just doesn't get it
I think we both were in rebound with each other. He was rejected by the woman he fancied and was in love and I was just out of 4 year toxic relationship and craving for romance and intimacy. We met while I was still in relationship, but didn't make a moves before I left toxic one. So, 2 years long distance and travelling together with my rebound until I fell in love with him, but as soon as this happened , he left saying that he is stil in love with another woman. Thats it.
I met this guy. He cheated on his ex a month before we met. In the beginning, and we had great conversation. We had 100% chemistry and would talk for hours and hours. We talked everyday and I met his friends. We would have great times together and even did a lot of new things with one another. And then I think he accidentally fell in love with me. He would look at me with terror and say “I’m not trying to be in a relationship right now”. And he would tell me he was falling for me but he couldn’t. And then he started the let’s just be friends and that’s when it went to hell. He’d began to grow distant when he lost a few things. And spiraled out of control. Hooking up with random people and just looking for a feeling. After he got his life back on track a little he was still stressed out. We hung out one day and we did an adventure and had one too many drinks. He was going to a friends house to help with a resume. Not I know this friend was a f*ck buddy. And I thought to myself that I didn’t want to be an item on the shelf for your connivence and I left. Then I went back because it was an emotional response. After that he told me no more sex, no more sleeping over and no more doing what we had been doing up until that point. She then I tried to touch him and he got mad. So I went and sat on his couch to create distance and he walked me out of his home. We didn’t speak for a weak but I continued reaching out and eventually we reconnected on Sunday. The day after on Monday was a get together. We talked earlier that morning and it was like old times. But he kept saying things like “I might get with a woman”, and “my next partner is going to be this and that”. And that bothered me. That on top off me only having two hours of sleep. And then I headed to the party and I got drunk before I left because I didn’t wanna feel that tension. We were playing cards and I touched his leg and he smiled. And then we went into the house and my body language was open to him and he pulled me to the side. He said “I need to you to respect my space, you’re not my partner and we can’t keep doing this”. That kind of hurt my feelings a bit. So I went out back by the pool. And I started crying thinking to myself how did I get here. I feel like an idiot. All I did was love this guy and I keep getting the cold shoulder. His best friend came outside to comfort me. He told me “he cares about you a whole lot, but he isn’t ready to be in a relationship.” I felt rejected at that moment so then he comes outside and explains I cannot be in a relationship. We cannot continue to do what we are doing. And it made me cry even more and I asked him to look me in my eye and say that. And he couldn’t. He left and went back into the house. His sister told him that he was wrong for confusing me like that and he lashed out at her. Long story short I sent him a text and told him no more adventures and excursions. We talked on the phone and he said we needed space from one another. I then said okay but let’s not block each other. I sent him a text a couple minutes later with my brothers name because he was supposed to be helping him get a job. I woke up the next morning and I’m blocked on everything including text messages. I called his friends to ask…and I continued to try and reach out and it annoyed him. His best friends told me that he cared for me a lot. But he does not know how to love himself. And I continued to reach out until his cousin reached out and said. Leave him alone once he’s done he’s done. Then he made these claims that he was scared I was going to pop up at his house and he would have to get a restraining order on me. This on top her telling I was emotionally immature as if she knew me pissed me off. I didn’t want to hear any of this from her or anyone else. I wanted to hear it from him. But he avoided me and made me sound like I’m this crazy person who is unstable. I sent him a text just telling him that I was disappointed he didn’t just tell me to my face. I would not have liked it but I would have respected it and I wanted to respect you (shoutout to Susan Winter). I told him that I appreciated that he showed me the real him. I told him he did not deserve me. I am too good for him and I wanted nothing else to do with him. Prior to this I talked to his best friend and sent him a goodbye letter. This infuriated the guy I was talking to anymore. They told me he saw me nothing more than just a hook up and friend. Funny thing is, is that we didn’t always have sex. The bond was genuine and I honestly felt like he had never experienced a true feeling of love. And I was pulling things out of him that he didn’t knew he had. I heard from multiple people he enjoyed me. He enjoyed our talks and he discovered he had a side he was not aware of. But in the end he ran from me and I haven’t reached out since. It hurt like hell but, I’m moving on with me. We oftentimes would look at each other and would say we wish we would’ve met later on or in the future. He became very insecure after being with me. He stressed about wanting to become stable before he committed. And I didn’t care about that I loved him for him and it scared him. I know he’ll probably come back. They all do but I’m not holding my breath. But I was the rebound he accidentally fell in love with. He was looking forward to being single and having fun and messing around. He didn’t think he’d stumble upon someone who is genuine, smart, funny, handsome and caring with similarities that was undeniable. This is the 2nd time this has happened to me. But once they heal for whatever reason they come back to me. My love is genuine and patient and kind. But by the time they come around I don’t expect them and those feelings I once had die. This is my rebound story.
We drove past his ex flings work and he pointed it out to me out of the blue... And talks about this girl as a friend... Makes mention to her often... This made me feel flip... He's with me as a rebound
My ex bf of 1 month still have contact with his ex. I’m having on and off bf and he knew that. He’s 9yr younger than me. Initially we were great. But I started wanting him to come back early at night and he keep partying. His ex gf involved in the relationship and she still have feeling for him. She keep saying they were just friend and she just want us to be together. But she is still waiting for him and begging him to be back with her. End up, he wanted to break up with me saying he don’t want to be under control and he just want to live free. He mentioned about the on and off bf and said I already have someone to marry so is better to cut things of early. It broke my heart because I knew that young boy still love his ex gf. I think they are back together now.
Until I saw this video it never occurred that I might be the rebound girl but now I wonder. He is recently divorced...about 6 months I think...although they had been separated for a while before everything was finalized but a few things seemed strange right off. The first thing I noticed was he liked me enough to want to go out with me then once we became somewhat official he began getting upset with me for doing things I have always done. He has known me for over 3 years and has seen me hug my friends (male and female) goodbye on a regular basis but now he gets mad if he picks me up from work (I am a bartender) and I hug my friends goodbye. He once told me that he always liked that I was friendly, nice, and always made him feel welcome when he came into my job but now he gets mad if I even talk to someone once I am off work even if we haven't actually left my workplace. I don't understand why a someone would choose to date a person you have known for years then be upset with that person for doing things they have always done and you have witnessed them doing repeatedly over several years. How can you like someone enough to date them then try to change everything about them including their basic personality? Also, when he gets mad at me some of the things he says on a repetitive basis sound like he has said them a million times before. During our very first disagreement he said "you always have an excuse". How can I always have an excuse if we never argued before?? Also he has issues with me receiving text messages no matter who they are from and he often makes comments about me going on facebook even though I am very very rarely on social media (as in I might check my feed once a month but only post anything once every 3 or 4 months at best) He used to come to my job when I got off work and we would hang out for a little while before going to his place. Now he wants me to meet him in the parking lot 5 minutes after my shift ends. Also, if we run into anyone that he knows from his married life he acts like we barely know each other and never introduced me because he doesn't want his daughter or ex-wife to know he is seeing anyone. Am I jumping to conclusions?
Narcissistic seduction. Dump the guy asap. Run away. Then, google the term, make yourself tea and enjoy it while reading - enjoy the tea and the fact that you did the right thing.
This sounds just like something I just got out of.... I thought I might be the rebounder, but I don't think so, I was really ready to get back out there after amicably ending an ltr that was dead as a doornail. But, this sounds exactly like the new guy! And us being 2 hours drive away, may have made it impossible to see clearly. And yes... I'll work on improving my single life too, try not to jump into anything, and keep my standards high. ;)
Honestly don't even know my situation at all anymore... Was told I was a rebound by him (commendable honesty) then he ran off to some other open leg buffet at one point. Then he moved in with another one and got engaged all within 5 months... Broke up with her and now is back in my Life telling me he wants to take things slow and get to know me...the problem I am having is that I don't feel like I want to be a rebound again. I was devastated for 4 months after he quit on our connection...took that time for myself but I'm still having a problem in letting him go completely. We went for a walk and talk (with coffee) and things went back somehow...feelings rushed back... his denial toward me as well... I'm simply tired of not standing on stable ground.
He told me they had finished months ago on our first date, I asked him if he was ready to get to know someone else, turns out they had just stopped speaking a couple of weeks ago, i found out after he asked me out after four weeks (which I was uncomfortable with) he got angry when I asked him who is ex was, he completely lied to me and I had to end it :( lies hurt
My ex cheated on me and used me as a rebound. Before he broke up with me, he told me he loved me. I can rmeber one time after I slept with him , his ex started calling him. I did have a bad feeling but I loved him so I didn’t say anything and I wish I did. A lesson I am learning is if you are getting in a relationship, do not accept a random snap chat request, do not date someone quickly, do not date someone if they have only just broke up with their ex.
He talked about his ex a few times and told him my feelings and now the communication has changed with him. He’s not hitting me up as much I’m ready to move on. Not to mention he doesn’t compliment me and when I compliment him he doesn’t seem to accept it.
MY story is this, my ex and i broke up because he beat me up, the same night he meets this young girl twelve years younger than him at a bar. He continues to talk to her on the phone for hours while i was living at the house and goes on dates on the weekends, comes back home, and tries to sleep with me. Once i moved out he said he never wants to see me and than he has this girl move in only a week or two after i moved out. He continues to talk to me and say things like we will be together later and that he can't love anyone else more than me. He has come over to my place 3 times but says he's happy with her or that she makes him happy. So i had to put a stop to him wanting to come over because hes with her, he lies to her about helping me and still having contact with me, if he was "happy"he wouldn't be trying to sleep with me or saying he wants me back later.
What if both are rebounding? My recent ex dumped me for this guy cause we were starting to stagnate, but that happens in relationships. Then you get over the hump and all is good. We were together for 8 years and engaged for 3 and lived together She took up with this guy who was recently dumped by his ex. They were together for at least 9 years that I know of. He even called his ex to tell her he was dating! Red flag. My Ex has low self esteem and can't be alone. She even told me as she was moving out that she knows the "Newness will wear off". I'm thinking to my self what's the point then. So they are BOTH rebounding. I think they will both be trying way to hard to "make it work" and using each other as a distraction from the pain and hurt from the most recent relationships. My Ex is 53 (I am 50) the new guy is 56. She has no job, no savings only her jeep. This guy has a tiny 1 story, 2 bedroom house, no garage and NO CAR!! I have a 3 bedroom full attic, full basement and 2 stall garage. She would complain to me every so often that she had nowhere to put all her things! Where does she think that he will have room for her things if they move in together? They don't even see each other except for the weekends.i seen a post on Facebook that he said he was lonely even though he was with someone. My guess is he will try to push her to be a permanent item and move in. Lots of red flags!! Doomed to fail!! My guess is that she will contact me wanting to talk. She'll tell me that there was no real feelings toward him and they were more like friends. That's what I'm betting. I guess sometimes couples have to find out for sure that they really are ment to be together. One way is taking a break and trying something "New" Although this is most certainly not the right way to handle the ups and downs of a long term relationship. It's totally a gamble. She knows I and stable and safe, but the new guy is an unknown. Playing with fire cause I might not be available when they split. Which they WILL split. Rebounds NEVER work! And they are both rebounding!! Epic fail!!
He wouldn't want to talk about her. He said he didn't love her, he said he felt sorry for her. And he said he wouldn't have any contact with her. I trusted and believed him. Then I discovered on an on a phone that was his old phone, he was still chatting and flirting with her. He even told her he loved her. I woke up pretty quickly. He apparently said he wouldn't talk to her again. I'm trying to believe he's telling the truth. What do you think?
After 17 years he suddenly decided he wanted me to do his hair after our daughter told me that he said his girlfriend was tripping because he finally got his own car so he didn’t have to drive hers anymore. Anyhoo, he flirted with me, tried to get some ( I said no) then days later he snapped back into his mean attitude with me because he and she managed to work things out. I haven’t heard from him since.
i'm not sure if i'm a rebound but i only got it in my head when my friend said i was. can i still be his rebound if he was the one to end his previous relationship? he mentioned that he just got out of a 1 year relationship 6 weeks before because he felt there just wasn't a spark between them anymore. he never brings up his ex unless i ask a question or something. the only thing that caught my eye and almost made me turn the cheek after the first date was when he mentioned how he wasn't looking into a relationship because of how he was focused strictly on his future goals (graduating high school). this only got my attention because i thought to myself if he doesn't see it to be leading to that then he probably just wants hooking up type stuff, so i asked him "so if u don't want a relationship, what do want?" and he said he didn't know. however it has been 3 months that we are still talking just not "exclusive" and i didn't think much of the rebound stuff until, like i said, my friend said so. we haven't had sex based on my decision because i like to keep that on lock until i'm actually "with" someone simply because i don't like guys thinking then can get a free pass at sleeping with me haha, and he's okay with it and respects that decision. but i honestly don't think i am a rebound because he doesn't depend on me for his self esteem, like u mentioned, at all. but i am still unsure, am i a rebound?
My ex got divorced and got into a relationship with his ex before the divorce was even finalized. He broke up with her to be with me. We broke up and he went right back to his ex. I'm a widow so this dating stuff is all new to me. Think I'll stay single.
I think I'm a rebound because he left me for another girl and when she broke up with him he ran back to me and told me he missed her and was lonely. lolol. but.. I dOn'T knOW iF iM a rEbOuND
That's what I did! Sorry, but I won't be part of the picture.. not until the phantom of your ex that haunts you and looms around disappears. And I'm not even looking for commitment.. because feelings are not enough for me. I need a good common project. I keep finding articles about how rebound relationships can be healthy, but only from the perspective of the one that is "using" the other. What about the rebound though. Can being the rebound be healthy as well?
I sometimes feel like I have the word counsellor on on forehead! Some guys that I'm attracted to seem to see me as some kind of therapist so they can get over their ex. It's crap. Hi Ryan Patrick, I was interested in signing up for the course but don't have the spare cash at the moment. Sounds great though. Love your videos! X
Just realised that the girl I'm seeing is my rebound after I was left by a girlfriend I was in a 10 year relationship with.. met this girl two months after she left, became a couple after a few weeks.. way to soon I realise now.. I need time on my own to heal.. but I didn't plan this or for her to be a rebound.
at what month together with new girl did u realise u regret it? .... I just met this guy who probably got dumped/broke up 6yr relationship. We've known each other for 3 months & this guy keeps wanting to make me his gf. I keep saying, lets just stay noncommittal friends or else i will be the rebound. It made him angry that I don't believe him & he said he fell out of love with his ex cos they been tog for so long & that he wants to be with me. I feel like if I were to trust what he's saying & get into a relationship with him, he will change his mind halfway in the relationship and I will be screwed. What is happening currently with yours? Cos it sounds like my situation, and I'm not really sure how to handle this or what he will think..
@@annly666 Well recently, I'd say within the last month or so I guess.. We've been together for 6, almost 7 months now and I'm just now starting to work through things with my ex, this making me realize that I'm not ready. I gave myself two months to get over and through my divorce and 10 year relationship, I must have fooled myself and tried to escape it by seeking comfort, attention and closeness with someone else who wanted me. In the beginning we had lots of intimacy, talked and everything was good. It has changed and I feel myself withdrawing and having these thoughts. I don't know what I'm feeling and she clearly feels more than me.. This video and others like it sound spot on for what I'm going through and I feel bad, because it was never my intent and she will be hurt by it.. It's not easy. But I feel i must express how I feel and put myself and my wellbeing/healing first. Can't say what you should do, but I would say you're doing the right thing by holding him off, I had a girl I was fond of do the same to me after the breakup (before I met my current girlfriend) and I felt hurt and frustrated about it, but she did the right thing for us both, as she saw I wasn't healed and wasn't ready, that it wasn't the right time.. And she didn't want to end up as my rebound. I've told her that now, that she did the right thing.
My guy talked about his ex and compared my hair to hers the 1st day we met. :/ However, he was looking for me all along cuz he fell head over heels. We married after six months and celebrating our 12th year married this May. I did have to play it smart though.
We were friends with no strings attached for a couple of months. I was developing feelings, I thought he was too because we were having such a good time. I told him I wanted to be exclusive and he said he just wasn’t ready or looking for something like that and he just wanted to remain friends. So I politely agreed to treat him like a friend and cut him out of my life immediately after that phone call. It was radio silence on my end for several days and he was blowing my phone up begging me to talk to him. I was crying too all the while because I missed him. I wanted to answer his texts soo bad, but I had to have faith that I was doing the right thing for myself. When I finally replied to his text message I told him that I was busy and to call me in 1hour. He was on point. He was soo happy to speak with me. Mid sentence I cut him off and told him...”I told you before and this is the last time that I will tell you again. I want to be exclusive with you.” YES! I want to be with you!” He couldn’t reply fast enough. We became madly in love and got married soon after. That was 11 year ago. Still married and with children. Scarcity was key. I only saw him a couple of times per week while we were dating, but we were on the phone a lot despite him “not being a phone” call type of person.
The fact that he never even mentioned having a recent relationship, I found out by a Facebook video where he was bringing her a cake for her birthday on December and our first date was actually like two weeks after that in January, when I confronted him and asked why he’d hide something like that he said he didn’t have to tell me :v I felt really bad and had no way of answering that because well, he really didn’t HAVE to tell me but we had talked about both our past relationships and he never brought this up and actually had told me he’d been alone for a while... I still feel bad even though we broke up 4 months ago... that’s because he also didn’t tell me he was about to travel abroad and go live forever in this other country, he had never mentioned that either and he had been planning on that for more than a year before asking me out, he knew he was leaving forever but started a relationship with me anyways... I really fell in love and now I still cry almost everyday, I feel like he ripped my heart off and stepped on it.
So sorry to hear this, Muni... Guys that give you the heads up about these types of things to be able to empower you to make the best decision for yourself if you want to get involved with a guy who just got out of something or completely splitting on you in one year's time just aren't your prince. If anything, things just get worse with them hiding things and giving you more half-truths... I know you're hurting right now and believe me, it will get easier. But this guy did you a favor by being wildly dishonest so you'd see it sooner than later. When you heal, you'll attract guys who won't pull this crap because you'll sniff it out instantly 🙂
Ryan Patrick thank you so much for answering, I feel a bit better now knowing I’m not crazy or overreacting about this, he made me feel like I was exaggerating everything and that made me feel worse! Thank you 🙏
@@Mumu_UwU that guy was incredibly stupid and selfish to you. He will surely get his comeuppance in his new country. Hmmph good riddance!! Don't feel bad anymore. It's like crying over cheap jewelry. Like what??
I broke up with my ex about seven months ago, but I still feel so confused. I’m not sure if I was his rebound or not - or if he’s just lazy and didn’t care as much about the relationship as I did. What I do know is that 1: he never complimented me or even told me he thought I was beautiful... he literally never said to me “you look beautiful!” the whole time we were together (which btw was about a year) 2: he abandoned me at his family’s Xmas party while we were together (he disappeared for like an hour instead of “making the rounds“ with me, like he didn’t want to show me off)... and then only spent 30 min with me and my family during the holiday season. And 3: never really engaged any physical contact outside of hugging or hand-holding ... and even then he put my hand on the outside, like he didn’t want to take the lead! (but I may be reading too much into that, right?) Ultimately, as much as I loved this man, I just wasn’t happy in our relationship anymore; I made it clear what I was really looking for (a committed, long- term deal) but he just didn’t have a clue as to what he wanted, and I wasn’t willing to wait for someone who may or may not want the same thing. Like I said, I don’t really know if I was his rebound (he did talk about his ex an inordinate amount), but I do have a question: Am I crazy for still loving someone who clearly doesn’t want me the same way?
He doesn’t deserve you so stop punishing yourself. A man will walk over hot coals if he wants to be with a woman. A man who barely puts in the effort is not worth a moment of your time!
The first date at his home. Within 5 minutes of being in his home his answering a phone call from his ex. They were talking for 5mins. Once got off the phone told it was only about lawyers stuff because she was taking him to court for his money. He kept bringing her up and stories about their past Infront of me and Infront of others. It was degrading treatment and hurtful. Remembering the past fun times with another. Talking to eachother behind my back denial and then items of hers showing up at his home. Would make accused as oh I had to give her my other tv etc. Because I gave the wrong one after slip. Constantly talking about house she stole his money and how he could have done things different. Wouldn't defend me when his sister would joke and call me his ex's name. There were so many things. All I can say to anyone. It broke my heart and hurt so bad because I loved him with every piece of my soul. I didn't have any self worth and came out of a dv relationship and rathered hear about an ex because I knew how bad a relationship could look like. Heal your hearts, mend your traumas. Be strong, independent individuals that way you don't attract someone like this 🙌🔥 Lesson learnt
He dumped me and set his profile picture of his ex girlfriend and I thought he was cheating on me all along and my self esteem went down to the drain. He lied to me later on that he got over her literally the day after he dumped me and requested to get back together. Silly me i agreed and it became a very toxic cycle of getting dumped for no reason every week and I'm too drained and broken for relationships... I try to tell myself not everyone is like this but i subconsciously have anxious thoughts over getting abandoned for nothing. I'm really gonna die alone... Relationships brought me too much stress, anxiety and trauma. I feel so unwanted to be treated like this, he said he liked me because i was optimistic, but after that relationship, I've changed to become pessimistic and I am not who I used to be anymore....
He disappeared for 5 months then in the middle of the night and left messages on my messages I miss you I made a mistake please lets make up,i felt then it was rebound He didn't want be alone or something I let him back and he is slowly breaking my heart again He never stay on line just disappears in middle of conversations like he's talking with her again
Girli hope you’re good . I’m going through it finding out I was the rebound has me all the way messed up I’m so down he begged to be with me cried real tears . He wasn’t over his 55 year old ex ( nothing wrong with older women )that I found out about looking through his phone .me and him are 26 years old . I feel so used and low I did no contact he came back but left because that’s who he wanted he just used me as an option I feel like I’m about to die I can’t get up out my bed
Hello! Not sure if im rebounding him or he’s rebounding me. Recently, lost my late boyfriend from asthma attack on my birthday 😢. The guy I’ve been talking to also recently broke up with his ex. So, what should we do? I have only been 2 dates- not yet
im in a rebound relitionship but i dont care caz im using him for a few months more to move into my official apartment ...i can post a pic with him ...or even go in his phone ....i clean and cook and thats all if im sick im on my own but just for now both of us is playing the same cards ...
i wanna hear honest opinions, i've known this guy for around 2 years from school. We only started hanging out alone more than a month ago. I started catching feelings for him and from what I felt, he also did. We kissed and everything felt "right", until I asked him about this girl who was someone he had really strong feelings for when we were in school. He told me his apple watch and credit card passwords is her birthday, his reasoning is he's too lazy to change it. When we talked about her, I felt the pain he still feels for her. They were still in contact until he had told her about our kiss, then she got mad and blocked him. My question is, am I a second option?
I should have seen it when on our second date, he talked about his wife that left him 3 months prior, with tears in his eyes. Was I ever a clueless fool. I stayed in that relationship for 2.5 years all the while feeling but ignoring my gut's urgings to get out. I ended up heartbroken when I finally got the truth out of him (that he was never going to marry me, ouch).
Girli hope you’re good . I’m going through it finding out I was the rebound has me all the way messed up I’m so down he begged to be with me cried real tears . He wasn’t over his 55 year old ex ( nothing wrong with older women )that I found out about looking through his phone .me and him are 26 years old . I feel so used and low I did no contact he came back but left because that’s who he wanted he just used me as an option I feel like I’m about to die I can’t get up out my bed
@@brielleharmony7568 I am so sorry about how he hurt you. Trust and believe my words when I say that this too shall pass. The pain will go away. Remember that the breakup wasn't about you and means nothing in terms of your worthiness as a person or desirability as a woman. It was simply all about his needing comfort at the time and your just innocently happening to be in his path. Broken, hurt people are dangerous and hurt others. There was no way for you to have known he was one of them when you met. So when you are done grieving, pick yourself up, make the effort to look pretty every day and take care of yourself well. Don't re-traumatize yourself by dwelling on what happened with him. When he pops up in your brain, immediately switch your focus back to positive thoughts about something else and what and who else in your life you love and give your energy to ones who love you. Get busy and get better and be better. You're worth it and are going to be more than good if you do this stuff. I promise.
@@bellabong8862 thank you so much I really appreciate you taking the time to write this . I’m so tempted to message him telling him I know he used me as a rebound and go at him but i not sure if that will make me feel better in the long run and tbh I don’t think he would care as he doesn’t take accountability for things and stopped caring about me clearly . He is probably on to his next rebound already because he can’t get over this ex that pays him no mind so he goes from female to female .It just hurts so much and I’m not around any family right now as I’ve moved away so I really don’t have no one to vent too and to spend time with to forget about this sooner. I’m in England and we are still in lock down with nothing open so just have to stay at home so it’s harder to forget . But thank you for your words 🤗
Yeah, Ive been rebound twice each time move fast with intimacy and they immediately compare contrast with ex. Both guys ended up getting married to their exs few months later. What i did was put my standards up, listen to his venting znd attempted to give him better understsnding of his exs point of view. Once i played couselor they totally everything was better. They stopped faking it.
Oh my goodness So i’m going through a breakup and what i’m assuming this situation is for him( he initiated it) it is less than a week after a very serious relationship between us ended, he got all physical with a girl and i reavfed out to his friend because he was my friend before i knew they became friends, and he said “He hasn’t brought her up and things like, “ he just doesn’t talk ja out that” to his friends?? That’s a big one.
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My ex used another woman to get over me. I got over him by finding me!! It’s been amazing! So glad I waited!!
Ppl who jump relationship to relationship they r not happy with being their own
Billie this is the best thing I could have read this morning!
Beautiful Billie !!
I agree. They're afraid of being alone.
I’m proud of you!!👏👏👏👏
I picked him up from misery, only to find out he's only finding the right timing to get back to her. Broke up with him last night. 💔💔💔
Congratulations .. I wish I would have saw the signs before I gave 2 years.
Did he come back?
I feel you
@@crystalarchibald8625 a rebound for 2 years!!
@@crystalarchibald8625 how did u find out
Signs to beware of. 1. No healing from previous relationship. Jump into a situationship right after previous girl. Most of the time he’s cheating on his partner.2.Hooks up had sex while in or shortly after recent break up. 3.Talks bad about “crazy” ex. 4. Moves too fast, not getting too know each other. 5. Gives you rules about his phone. It means that he’s hiding things. 9 out of 10 times he’s a narcissist. They love bomb, groom, devalue, gaslight, triangulate, trauma bond, discard. These person lacks empathy. It’s all about him. Once you can’t give him the high from good or bad energy he usually has someone else behind your back to replace you then throws you away like yesterday’s garbage. It’s very painful because everything was fake. Guard your heart. He is capable of destroying you emotionally. Sometimes permanently.
wow this describes exactly the guy i just met.. thanks for this..
I have been in the same situation , he broke up with me after being with me for two years and suddenly he says coz his ex called him , he became emotionally weak. , Also other girls have always been in his life , so it was a double whammy fir me anyways.
Had one that threw some domestic violence into the mix based on delusional jealousy as well. Absolutely devastating, just nothing is what it seems or is just worthless.
I wish I could see this comment sooner. It could save 1 year from my life.
My first ever relationship I was the rebound. I didn’t know because I had never been in a relationship before and I didn’t know what to expect but there were major red flags. He constantly brought up his exes in conversation and talked about how painful his last breakup was. Immediately after we made it official he said he loved me and that ultimately threw me off guard. He wanted to and I quote “Be more with me” only a couple of weeks after dating. When he did bring up his ex he said he wasn’t completely over her. He broke up with me after his ex made a reappearance in his life. It sucked because I felt like I was used to help him heal until she walked back into his life again.
Same girl, same
Literally same, I’m going crazy
same, girl.. ...
Girli hope you’re good . I’m going through it finding out I was the rebound has me all the way messed up I’m so down he begged to be with me cried real tears . He wasn’t over his 55 year old ex ( nothing wrong with older women )that I found out about looking through his phone .me and him are 26 years old . I feel so used and low I did no contact he came back but left because that’s who he wanted he just used me as an option I feel like I’m about to die I can’t get up out my bed
My ex is married to the rebound and still keeps stalking me. Feel pity for the poor wife. It's sad.
Rebounding is real and its damaging. Never really went out in public but when we did he walked 2 feet away from me. Talked about both his sexes all the time. Did compliment me a lot at first. But then stopped. Chemistry was wild and passionate. Told me I made him feel alive. Then drained me. Started changing his looks . Exercising . Would invite me over then take off with his friends after I drove 3 hours to see him. Always secretive. Always hiding his phone.
I fixed him. I helped him heal. He left me feeling worthless.
I'm over it. I have my own self worth to think about.
Bye bye la...
Girli hope you’re good . I’m going through it finding out I was the rebound has me all the way messed up I’m so down he begged to be with me cried real tears . He wasn’t over his 55 year old ex ( nothing wrong with older women )that I found out about looking through his phone .me and him are 26 years old . I feel so used and low I did no contact he came back but left because that’s who he wanted he just used me as an option I feel like I’m about to die I can’t get up out my bed
I was a rebound for a man that was exiting a 14 year marriage where his wife cheated and she was a passed out drunk in front of her kids. Yet...he kept telling me that I didn’t understand how beautiful she was and what a great mom she was.
On our first date he told me she looked like a supermodel. She doesn’t. I should’ve got up and left then. 🤦🏻♀️
“she doesn’t” 😂
@@geegar3825 lmao 😂 😂
@@geegar3825 lol
@@geegar3825 omg I’m over laughing so hard on that comment 🤣🤣🤣
Helped him through the pain , literally did everything and now their back together 💔
same bro :(((( took me like 10 months to forget about him even though we've been together for 2 months :(((
oh dear you poor thing. So sorry to hear that. I hope your heart has healed and you've moved on.
What an absolute POS!!!!! So sorry hon 😔💜💕💫
Hey i m going through something similar with a guy.. could u help me ?
Ellion Save of course what your social media ? 🤍
I feel like a rebound because he found me at the time he was still heartbroken
!!! This was me and then he went back with her
me too
He’s still hurt and not ready for a relationship but wants to go on dates and spend time together like a couple...he’s hot and cold.
He wouldn’t stop badmouthing his ex and comparing me to her. I took it as a compliment because it was in my favor... but it got so weird because it was constant.
He “love bombed” me and flat out said, “I can’t be alone” after he just got divorced 5 months earlier. Bye Felicia! I told him to call me in a year or two and if I were still available I’d be happy to see him.
Did he ever call you?
Oh gawd!!! I can spot this a mile away! If they talk about their ex..red flag!! I actually asked one guy, why are you telling me all this. Are you wanting to introduce us? And he wanted answers now..what do I want. What am I looking for. Good lord I just want a burger! Lots of damaged people walking around. Including myself!! Hahah
Can you make a video about signs that a man has fully moved on from his past relationship?
Please !
Omg. Yes please ASAP. 🤷🏼♀️ THANKS FROM MY HEART ❣️
YES
He's so damn into you he can't see nothing but you plus, your gut feeling
Yeah, met a guy recently who exited an almost 20y relationship and we had a great connection and vibe and chemistry, but he does not want anything serious obviously right now. Still needs time to heal. I don't want to be a rebound or be treated badly. But I did like him a lot. Thinking just to stay friends for now and maybe deepen the connection as friends first. What would u recommend in this kind of situation?
Love bombing at first wanted to move in right away. Talked about ex a lot. Then started flirting with other women and telling me I was to jealous. When we split he was on dating sites and starting a close friendship with one of my female friends. It was the worst feeling in the world because he made me feel used
Happened recently to me. This man is still married but going through a divorce. He wanted to fast track me into a relationship. I told him he needed to close one door before opening another. He replied that he felt single so that made it ok. No it doesn't. I've been through a divorce. I definitely needed time to heal from it before I could move forward.
I was a rebound. He tried to make me feel special every time we saw each other. He talked how bad his past relationships was that he got always cheated. Like a big mess.
Yea he was a narcissist. Have a 4 year old son w him. I blocked him been a full 31 days. Im HAPPY AF. he always brought up x gf, never complimented me,a phat ass liar. Praise God! Im healing properly💯💯🙌♥️
Good sis u deserve it u n that baby deserve nothing but the best
I enjoy your videos so much! This one helped me to realize the most important thing about my ex. It wasn't about me, he was using me to heal... He was 100% present and engaged one day and absolutely cold next time we met. It lasted for almost a year. Then I found out he was in touch with his ex-wife. It's a good lesson for me. Thanks for this video, it helped me to sort out my feelings :)
I was his rebound and he was my 1st serious adult boyfriend. Back then, I didn’t even know there was such thing as a rebound.
We have chemistry. He admitted it himself that he is afraid that I’m just his rebound.
After we broke up, and I accidentally find videos on youtube about rebound, I realise what had happened:
- he was fresh out of a one year relationship when he said he likes me and if possible would like me to take good care of him for the rest of his life
- he kept hinting on meeting my family. Of course I did not invite him to meet my family because we’d been together for only a week! That was not enough for me.
- we were friends before. We’d known each other for about 6 months and he always kind to me. But now I realised there are moments where he tried to belittle my opinion/beliefs in a very subtle way that made me thought I was the wrong one
- he tried to make me feel like I’m in some sort of competition. One time, he mentioned a bunch of women he closed with and literally asked me why he should choose me. I was confused by his action, I had nothing to say and was only staring at him sikently
- he was definitely hot and cold. And when I try to work on the relationship, he accused me of being clingy. I did not know any better back then, I thought I was the unhealthy one. But now I realise he was the one with mental issue
- he told me that long long time ago, he dated a girl for 7yrs, and she cheated on him, and that breaks something inside him.
There were so many red flags that I wasn’t aware of because he was my 1st adult relationship.
It took me 3yrs to move on. I was at the bottom because I thought the problem was me.
You helped me here.
Your experience kinda same to mine. We were set up by our mutual friend. I thought we can just be friend at first and not rushing into any kind of 'relationship'. But he confessed to me earlier after our 2nd date. I got a feeling that he was just in the phase of infatuation and not really in the love phase. So, I took some time to be officially in relationship with him. Just to make sure if he's truly like me for me. Not because anything else. But later after we went for few dates, i got some signs that he was not serious and just used me as his rebound 🙄. Every time we went date, one of his topic would be his Ex. It really annoyed me as hell. He actually not fully healed from his past relationship and keep on talking about his ex 🙄. Long story cut short, i dumped him. And he agreed straightway without questioning for an explanation. Few days after that, he tweeted about how much he missed his Ex which already be someone's else wife. So frustrating and with that he proved me that all my doubts about him were true.
Good riddance, love. He sounds like a right tosser.
still stalking about his ex..
Same situation
I met a guy back in February at a work do and we made out, we texted for a couple of months then he turned me down.
He contacted me the other day and admitted he had a gf when we messed around. But that it's over, a week ago. He did apologise profusely and said he felt like a POS but that he couldn't forget our make out session and just gave me so many compliments. He's super sad over the break up,I can tell. But he is still flirty. This is a recipe for disaster and I'm going to kindly bow out.
I was a rebound about a year ago. The guy had been with the girl for about three years and just broken up four months before. He moved to my city and started working at the same place with me. We met and instantly sparks flew. After our first date, we spent every moment together for weeks. Little did I know though, that he had convinced his ex girlfriend to move out there too, leading her on with the hopes that they were going to get back together. I started becoming suspicious but I thought surely he didn’t have what we had with anyone else. Then one day he picked me up and on the way to our date, he takes a call from his ex and sits there comforting her on the phone as she’s crying while I’m sitting right next to him. I could literally hear the whole conversation but for some reason, I spoke to him about it, he promised that he just felt bad for her because she didn’t know anyone in the new city yet and that he only wanted me and I just accepted that for fact. He told me that she was obsessed with him and followed him out there and so I just thought she was a psycho ex girlfriend. I told him to stop comforting her because he was leading her on and he agreed. With my upcoming graduation just a week away, he begged to come and meet my family. He said he was so excited to see where I came from and be there for me on my big day. So he came to my graduation and met everyone. I’m thinking I’m introducing my almost boyfriend to my family. Little did I know, the next day after he spoke to her on the phone in front of me, he had gone out on a movie date with her, taken her back to his place and slept with her. I was devastated and even then, he still tried to keep me on a string saying, “I made a mistake. Give me some time to work on myself so that I can be good enough for you”. All the while I’m thinking he may actually want to prove to me he can be serious, he’s just keeping me as a back up to mend his ego if things didn’t work out with her a second time around. He was definitely a player but he also showed a lot of signs of rebounding like the looming ex, trying to move the relationship way too fast and using me to help his self esteem issues. I learned so much from that and will hopefully never let someone like that in again.
He brings up his ex a lot…like how bad she did him (cheated on him 3 times) and how he doesn’t want her because he knows his value. But then he told me that his ex has contacted him several times saying she wants him back. He says he doesn’t want anything to do with her at all. Why is he even leaving the contact with her open?
At least he is being transparent with you.
This happened to me! The guy showed all of these signs, the worst was that he didn't compliment me! I told him I was going to the gym regularly, (I was making real progress, eating right and not drinking alcohol) he tried to downplay it then he asked me for a compliment for himself... I was gone. Left that minute. Told him why too, he looked like a deer in headlights but I was done. Thanks Ryan, once again your delivery is flawless and your facial expressions are hilarious!
I had my ex talk about taking his ex-wife's bird to the vet. They had been divorced for two years, and I was one of many of his rebounds. He just jumped from woman to woman after her. He even told me his best friend told him he should be single for a while. I missed a lot of red flags. Thanks for helping me finally get a clue!
Thanks for this. I just realized that I am not a rebound at all and it was just me always trying to bring conversations about my partners ex girlfriend when he never even talk about her at all. And whenever I bring conversations about him getting over her he's almost on his knees begging me to stop bringing topics about his ex girlfriend because she's no longer in the picture and it was a waste of time to talk about her and a crazy thing to still get jealoused over her when he never even see or talk to her at all.
In my story, the guy really thought he was over his ex, and told me he has not any affection towards her.
Gradually it occured that he carried a lot of resentment, big red flag!
He seemingly wanted to believe, that he had found something special, after previous, bad relationship.
The guy was also healing from depression, and was quite open about it. Lot of his stories about himself, like self-esteem, was somehow related to his ex.
She came up repeatedly in conversations, usually in neutral ways, and I ignored that because I thought he was just telling about himself and being open.
Some comparison between me and his ex, and of course, in my favor. Like our connection felt more real than connection with his ex ever. Took it at face value, ignoring again, that our connection was also defined in terms to this ex.
My last relationship did every single one of these. I feel stupid for letting it go on as long as it did. Never again.
Your videos helped. 🙏🏾
I saw in his youtube search “how to get your ex back” lol
A lot of people may disagree but I don’t even think a year post a serious relationship is enough time to heal. A year is just barely when the healing starts. My ex was divorced 2 years when i met him and i thought i was safe. But i was just a rebound and he ended up getting back with her anyway. Everyone’s healing time is different. But just think, the longer they were with someone, the longer the healing process
I have been a rebound too many times. He moved 100 miles an hour and he would talk about "her" quite often and when "she" wanted him back I was dropped like a hot potato.
Omg! I’m a rebound I knew it but now that I hear someone else say it.. but here’s something to consider...and your advice is appreciated..but I’ve met several men & everyone of them check all the rebound boxes too.. wth?? What to do? So I just innie Minnie miney mo and pick one with the least problems!??! Where are the healthy men at!!!????
Just one text from his ex the year after breakup! He started thinking and after two day of ignoring me I ended it.
I'M! NOT! A! REBOUND!
I used a girl as a rebound back in college.. still feel terrible about it to this day. It was by no means intentional, I had absolutely no idea I was doing it. Had convinced myself I was over my ex but I wasn't. Not at all, and it blew up in my face terribly. But all I can do is learn from that experience and move forward.
@user-zv4zd9vj2k There was tons of remorse. I apologized, and after a couple years of healing, we actually became really good friends... appreciate the concern tho.
@@rand0m742well at least you felt remorse and apologized, I’m sure that brought her some peace. the guy who did it to me never admitted it, gaslit me, and broke my spirit speaking badly about me on the internet. then got with someone else within the same week he discarded me, and never apologized. 2 years later I’m still emotionally damaged and I barely knew him for a month. all I ever wanted was an apology, but he said I didn’t deserve it because I lashed out on him for using me. so.. at least you’re nothing like him. feeling remorse and regret for treating someone bad is a good sign. god will bless you again.
i feel like im doing this without realising it and im very scared i am :(
The last one I was talking with, after 3 dates I figured he loved alcohol more than anything
This video is so perfect.
Thank you for this 👍
Yes. This sounds like what I am going thru.
In Finland we say Patch relationship.
Needed this
Well, my story was pretty straightforward, because that person told me so that I was the rebound guy after we'd been seeing each other for over 6 months and the ex wanted to work things out again with that person who said yes. So there you go! No signs needed. lol
How I knew I was the rebound girl? I went on a date with this divorced guy. He took me to a bar to play pool ....with...his...ex-wife’s...parents! They talked about his ex-wife the whole evening.🤦🏻♀️ There was no second date!
Came back from where he was other state to be exclusive with me. Met my parents. I met his family. He would talk to my brother in law about the problems he had with his ex-girlfriend. We are no longer together. All ended a few months after.
Really need to speak to you ASAP!!!
"They're too lazy..." Great advice all around, Ryan! Thank you.
Ok Ryan, this one here really got me confused. I had to watch this video twice. So there's this guy in my life for the last 1 and half month and he's been pretty consistent in his behavior with me, present, caring, respectful, he does mentioned qualities that he appreciates in me, he has introduced me to 2 of his best friends, he is emotionally connected with me and we have a whole world in common, we are very in tune with each other.
However, his last relationship was 4 years ago and after that he stayed totally broken and never had any other relationship than me now.
In our conversations on the phone or while together, he keeps bringing stories quite often about different situations with his ex, and honestly, it's still so present in him that makes me feel that this is a relationship between 3. She's way too present in our life while together.
Yes, he does have some things to be healed in himself, but he's not hot and cold with me, he has been pretty constant.
Only in the beginning he would have some talks like forth and back, but as he started to really like, or love me, he stopped doing that.
Soooo....
Yeah, but there's this one thing I internally decided. The next time he brings stories or behaviors of his ex to the table I will stop him right there and put the situation on the opposite side and ask him if he would like or how he would feel if I would do the same. And leave him really clear I am not interested in listening more of their stories and that I will not put up to it.
It's becoming annoying by this point.
Thank you for this video.
The only two points that I can relate with is that he does bring a lot her on our talks and that he needs healing.
i don't think he is over her. he thinks about her and care about it waay too much...
When i date, I deny and say I am over my ex, but I always end up talking about my ex accidentally. I know deep down i'm not emotionally healed from it either.
He said I'm going to have dinner with my ex but if it doesn't work out we should elope. Sorry I can't be anyone's second opinion 😒
Oh my, 3,4, and 5 hit it hard 😂😂
The eye contact is the key.. not looking at you, or looking away...its like someone is going though the motions.. but certainly the intense first few months and being treated like a GF straight away..deffo high energy, then low energy... you just cant put your fingers on the issue... this guy was 6 months down the line..so make sure its around a year, before your new partner is dating you..he also did not compliment me..he seemed scared to actually like me.. lol..its left me really upset..
😂😂 A boy I loved used me " without me knowing" to make his gf jealous. The Bible was right when it told us to guard our hearts for from it flows life. He (the boy) did a lot more damage and now I'm taking my time to heal
Hi Ryan. Will you please add the subtitles for the 8 reasons to this video. Thx!
Now I'm worried I made someone my rebound. No! 🥺I don't wanna be a dickhead, he's so nice too
Im just going to slow things down. On the 3rd date he told me that he was interested in dating me seriously and that shit freaked me out so I told him we need to take it slow. He also tries to insert himself into my life like right after that date he found my social media’s, but that’s where I saw his ex gf. I guess his ex saw that he followed me and now shes been blowing up his line trying to get back with him. He tells me he’s serious about me and doesn’t want her, but they only broke up a month ago and I can’t help but feel unsure. I need to have a real conversation with him soon because I’m really starting to catch feeling for this guy
Lost his wife 4 months ago. He told he just wants to be friends. But then asks me things like what Sid of the bed to you sleep on. And other questions like we would be living together soon. Sends me a song from You tube Someone like you . That he has waited his whole life for someone like me. When we have only talked for a couple of weeks.
Yes I worked with him and his ex, and they barely talked. Now that I’m gone, he seems to have built an emotional connection with her. He brought her a candle because she asked for it, and then she talks to him about her boyfriend being abusive. He doesn’t love me but he had me meet his parents and claimed to love me. Then I was gaslighting myself for being good enough for him, because he seemed more involved then me.
I have been in a 8 month long situationship with a man who was in a 12 year long relationship. He was 3 months broken up when we met at a BBQ. We were attracted to each other because of the chemistry and compatibility. We have been spending time with each other non stop since meeting but the dynamic went from romantic to platonic after 2 1/2 months. He had to go back to his old life to sell his house. When he went back he started questioning everything and pulled away from me. It turns out he still has not fully start grieving yet. But instead of choosing to go back to his ex he chose to stay with me and commit to his decision to break up. He chose me because I showed him what a healthy relationship looks like. We both are ADHD as well and there are a lot of understandings on both sides that both our ex partners would shame us for. He is still going through the grieving process but does not want to let go of me. We are both attached and we spend a lot of time together and Ive met friends of his and some of his family. But we are only friends right now. Sometimes it feels like there is romance and there is def still chemistry. We have so much fun with each other and have been putting effort into communication and understanding one another's needs on both sides. I have stayed because of the potential and effort we both have put in. He has told me once he gets out on the other side of all this he wants to give it a shot with me again like things were at the start. I check all his boxes in what he wants but it's that emotional comfort and attachment he is still needing to get over. What does everyone think? Do you think I am wasting my time?
He tried buying me clothes that only his ex would wear 💀
main sign is we met on a dating app soon after they broke up and he would vent about his ex a lot, we're not dating yet but I am keeping myself guarded and trying to detach until I know he is more moved on even though it's so hard detaching from someone you like.
I'm currently in a 2-year rebound and keep trying to break up with a guy but he keeps holding things over my head like my family and my two kids I can't break up with him I can't get away from him our relationship has already fizzled out and he's still just doesn't get it
I was married 18 years and that man never introduced me to any of his friends!
I think we both were in rebound with each other. He was rejected by the woman he fancied and was in love and I was just out of 4 year toxic relationship and craving for romance and intimacy. We met while I was still in relationship, but didn't make a moves before I left toxic one. So, 2 years long distance and travelling together with my rebound until I fell in love with him, but as soon as this happened , he left saying that he is stil in love with another woman. Thats it.
I met this guy. He cheated on his ex a month before we met. In the beginning, and we had great conversation. We had 100% chemistry and would talk for hours and hours. We talked everyday and I met his friends. We would have great times together and even did a lot of new things with one another. And then I think he accidentally fell in love with me. He would look at me with terror and say “I’m not trying to be in a relationship right now”. And he would tell me he was falling for me but he couldn’t. And then he started the let’s just be friends and that’s when it went to hell. He’d began to grow distant when he lost a few things. And spiraled out of control. Hooking up with random people and just looking for a feeling. After he got his life back on track a little he was still stressed out. We hung out one day and we did an adventure and had one too many drinks. He was going to a friends house to help with a resume. Not I know this friend was a f*ck buddy. And I thought to myself that I didn’t want to be an item on the shelf for your connivence and I left. Then I went back because it was an emotional response. After that he told me no more sex, no more sleeping over and no more doing what we had been doing up until that point. She then I tried to touch him and he got mad. So I went and sat on his couch to create distance and he walked me out of his home. We didn’t speak for a weak but I continued reaching out and eventually we reconnected on Sunday. The day after on Monday was a get together. We talked earlier that morning and it was like old times. But he kept saying things like “I might get with a woman”, and “my next partner is going to be this and that”. And that bothered me. That on top off me only having two hours of sleep. And then I headed to the party and I got drunk before I left because I didn’t wanna feel that tension. We were playing cards and I touched his leg and he smiled. And then we went into the house and my body language was open to him and he pulled me to the side. He said “I need to you to respect my space, you’re not my partner and we can’t keep doing this”. That kind of hurt my feelings a bit. So I went out back by the pool. And I started crying thinking to myself how did I get here. I feel like an idiot. All I did was love this guy and I keep getting the cold shoulder. His best friend came outside to comfort me. He told me “he cares about you a whole lot, but he isn’t ready to be in a relationship.” I felt rejected at that moment so then he comes outside and explains I cannot be in a relationship. We cannot continue to do what we are doing. And it made me cry even more and I asked him to look me in my eye and say that. And he couldn’t. He left and went back into the house. His sister told him that he was wrong for confusing me like that and he lashed out at her. Long story short I sent him a text and told him no more adventures and excursions. We talked on the phone and he said we needed space from one another. I then said okay but let’s not block each other. I sent him a text a couple minutes later with my brothers name because he was supposed to be helping him get a job. I woke up the next morning and I’m blocked on everything including text messages. I called his friends to ask…and I continued to try and reach out and it annoyed him. His best friends told me that he cared for me a lot. But he does not know how to love himself. And I continued to reach out until his cousin reached out and said. Leave him alone once he’s done he’s done. Then he made these claims that he was scared I was going to pop up at his house and he would have to get a restraining order on me. This on top her telling I was emotionally immature as if she knew me pissed me off. I didn’t want to hear any of this from her or anyone else. I wanted to hear it from him. But he avoided me and made me sound like I’m this crazy person who is unstable. I sent him a text just telling him that I was disappointed he didn’t just tell me to my face. I would not have liked it but I would have respected it and I wanted to respect you (shoutout to Susan Winter). I told him that I appreciated that he showed me the real him. I told him he did not deserve me. I am too good for him and I wanted nothing else to do with him. Prior to this I talked to his best friend and sent him a goodbye letter. This infuriated the guy I was talking to anymore. They told me he saw me nothing more than just a hook up and friend. Funny thing is, is that we didn’t always have sex. The bond was genuine and I honestly felt like he had never experienced a true feeling of love. And I was pulling things out of him that he didn’t knew he had. I heard from multiple people he enjoyed me. He enjoyed our talks and he discovered he had a side he was not aware of. But in the end he ran from me and I haven’t reached out since. It hurt like hell but, I’m moving on with me. We oftentimes would look at each other and would say we wish we would’ve met later on or in the future. He became very insecure after being with me. He stressed about wanting to become stable before he committed. And I didn’t care about that I loved him for him and it scared him. I know he’ll probably come back. They all do but I’m not holding my breath. But I was the rebound he accidentally fell in love with. He was looking forward to being single and having fun and messing around. He didn’t think he’d stumble upon someone who is genuine, smart, funny, handsome and caring with similarities that was undeniable. This is the 2nd time this has happened to me. But once they heal for whatever reason they come back to me. My love is genuine and patient and kind. But by the time they come around I don’t expect them and those feelings I once had die. This is my rebound story.
We drove past his ex flings work and he pointed it out to me out of the blue... And talks about this girl as a friend... Makes mention to her often... This made me feel flip... He's with me as a rebound
It did but I ignored at we dated for 8 months and broke up but he moved on so fast then after that, he even compared me with his ex...
My ex bf of 1 month still have contact with his ex. I’m having on and off bf and he knew that. He’s 9yr younger than me. Initially we were great. But I started wanting him to come back early at night and he keep partying. His ex gf involved in the relationship and she still have feeling for him. She keep saying they were just friend and she just want us to be together. But she is still waiting for him and begging him to be back with her. End up, he wanted to break up with me saying he don’t want to be under control and he just want to live free. He mentioned about the on and off bf and said I already have someone to marry so is better to cut things of early. It broke my heart because I knew that young boy still love his ex gf. I think they are back together now.
Until I saw this video it never occurred that I might be the rebound girl but now I wonder. He is recently divorced...about 6 months I think...although they had been separated for a while before everything was finalized but a few things seemed strange right off.
The first thing I noticed was he liked me enough to want to go out with me then once we became somewhat official he began getting upset with me for doing things I have always done. He has known me for over 3 years and has seen me hug my friends (male and female) goodbye on a regular basis but now he gets mad if he picks me up from work (I am a bartender) and I hug my friends goodbye.
He once told me that he always liked that I was friendly, nice, and always made him feel welcome when he came into my job but now he gets mad if I even talk to someone once I am off work even if we haven't actually left my workplace.
I don't understand why a someone would choose to date a person you have known for years then be upset with that person for doing things they have always done and you have witnessed them doing repeatedly over several years. How can you like someone enough to date them then try to change everything about them including their basic personality?
Also, when he gets mad at me some of the things he says on a repetitive basis sound like he has said them a million times before. During our very first disagreement he said "you always have an excuse". How can I always have an excuse if we never argued before??
Also he has issues with me receiving text messages no matter who they are from and he often makes comments about me going on facebook even though I am very very rarely on social media (as in I might check my feed once a month but only post anything once every 3 or 4 months at best)
He used to come to my job when I got off work and we would hang out for a little while before going to his place. Now he wants me to meet him in the parking lot 5 minutes after my shift ends.
Also, if we run into anyone that he knows from his married life he acts like we barely know each other and never introduced me because he doesn't want his daughter or ex-wife to know he is seeing anyone.
Am I jumping to conclusions?
this person is a covert narcissist...your confusion is primarily due to gaslighting. follow your instincts as u are not overreacting.
Narcissistic seduction. Dump the guy asap. Run away. Then, google the term, make yourself tea and enjoy it while reading - enjoy the tea and the fact that you did the right thing.
This sounds just like something I just got out of.... I thought I might be the rebounder, but I don't think so, I was really ready to get back out there after amicably ending an ltr that was dead as a doornail. But, this sounds exactly like the new guy! And us being 2 hours drive away, may have made it impossible to see clearly. And yes... I'll work on improving my single life too, try not to jump into anything, and keep my standards high. ;)
Honestly don't even know my situation at all anymore... Was told I was a rebound by him (commendable honesty) then he ran off to some other open leg buffet at one point. Then he moved in with another one and got engaged all within 5 months... Broke up with her and now is back in my Life telling me he wants to take things slow and get to know me...the problem I am having is that I don't feel like I want to be a rebound again. I was devastated for 4 months after he quit on our connection...took that time for myself but I'm still having a problem in letting him go completely. We went for a walk and talk (with coffee) and things went back somehow...feelings rushed back... his denial toward me as well... I'm simply tired of not standing on stable ground.
He told me they had finished months ago on our first date, I asked him if he was ready to get to know someone else, turns out they had just stopped speaking a couple of weeks ago, i found out after he asked me out after four weeks (which I was uncomfortable with) he got angry when I asked him who is ex was, he completely lied to me and I had to end it :( lies hurt
My ex cheated on me and used me as a rebound. Before he broke up with me, he told me he loved me. I can rmeber one time after I slept with him , his ex started calling him. I did have a bad feeling but I loved him so I didn’t say anything and I wish I did. A lesson I am learning is if you are getting in a relationship, do not accept a random snap chat request, do not date someone quickly, do not date someone if they have only just broke up with their ex.
He talked about his ex a few times and told him my feelings and now the communication has changed with him. He’s not hitting me up as much I’m ready to move on. Not to mention he doesn’t compliment me and when I compliment him he doesn’t seem to accept it.
MY story is this, my ex and i broke up because he beat me up, the same night he meets this young girl twelve years younger than him at a bar. He continues to talk to her on the phone for hours while i was living at the house and goes on dates on the weekends, comes back home, and tries to sleep with me. Once i moved out he said he never wants to see me and than he has this girl move in only a week or two after i moved out. He continues to talk to me and say things like we will be together later and that he can't love anyone else more than me. He has come over to my place 3 times but says he's happy with her or that she makes him happy. So i had to put a stop to him wanting to come over because hes with her, he lies to her about helping me and still having contact with me, if he was "happy"he wouldn't be trying to sleep with me or saying he wants me back later.
What if both are rebounding?
My recent ex dumped me for this guy cause we were starting to stagnate, but that happens in relationships. Then you get over the hump and all is good. We were together for 8 years and engaged for 3 and lived together She took up with this guy who was recently dumped by his ex. They were together for at least 9 years that I know of. He even called his ex to tell her he was dating! Red flag.
My Ex has low self esteem and can't be alone. She even told me as she was moving out that she knows the "Newness will wear off". I'm thinking to my self what's the point then.
So they are BOTH rebounding.
I think they will both be trying way to hard to "make it work" and using each other as a distraction from the pain and hurt from the most recent relationships.
My Ex is 53 (I am 50) the new guy is 56. She has no job, no savings only her jeep.
This guy has a tiny 1 story, 2 bedroom house, no garage and NO CAR!!
I have a 3 bedroom full attic, full basement and 2 stall garage. She would complain to me every so often that she had nowhere to put all her things!
Where does she think that he will have room for her things if they move in together?
They don't even see each other except for the weekends.i seen a post on Facebook that he said he was lonely even though he was with someone. My guess is he will try to push her to be a permanent item and move in.
Lots of red flags!!
Doomed to fail!!
My guess is that she will contact me wanting to talk. She'll tell me that there was no real feelings toward him and they were more like friends.
That's what I'm betting.
I guess sometimes couples have to find out for sure that they really are ment to be together.
One way is taking a break and trying something "New"
Although this is most certainly not the right way to handle the ups and downs of a long term relationship. It's totally a gamble. She knows I and stable and safe, but the new guy is an unknown. Playing with fire cause I might not be available when they split. Which they WILL split.
Rebounds NEVER work! And they are both rebounding!!
Epic fail!!
He wouldn't want to talk about her. He said he didn't love her, he said he felt sorry for her.
And he said he wouldn't have any contact with her.
I trusted and believed him.
Then I discovered on an on a phone that was his old phone, he was still chatting and flirting with her. He even told her he loved her. I woke up pretty quickly. He apparently said he wouldn't talk to her again. I'm trying to believe he's telling the truth. What do you think?
I knew a man who keep on talking about his exes the whole time..and compare me with them..well i was lucky to slip away frok him..
After 17 years he suddenly decided he wanted me to do his hair after our daughter told me that he said his girlfriend was tripping because he finally got his own car so he didn’t have to drive hers anymore. Anyhoo, he flirted with me, tried to get some ( I said no) then days later he snapped back into his mean attitude with me because he and she managed to work things out. I haven’t heard from him since.
i'm not sure if i'm a rebound but i only got it in my head when my friend said i was. can i still be his rebound if he was the one to end his previous relationship? he mentioned that he just got out of a 1 year relationship 6 weeks before because he felt there just wasn't a spark between them anymore. he never brings up his ex unless i ask a question or something. the only thing that caught my eye and almost made me turn the cheek after the first date was when he mentioned how he wasn't looking into a relationship because of how he was focused strictly on his future goals (graduating high school). this only got my attention because i thought to myself if he doesn't see it to be leading to that then he probably just wants hooking up type stuff, so i asked him "so if u don't want a relationship, what do want?" and he said he didn't know. however it has been 3 months that we are still talking just not "exclusive" and i didn't think much of the rebound stuff until, like i said, my friend said so. we haven't had sex based on my decision because i like to keep that on lock until i'm actually "with" someone simply because i don't like guys thinking then can get a free pass at sleeping with me haha, and he's okay with it and respects that decision. but i honestly don't think i am a rebound because he doesn't depend on me for his self esteem, like u mentioned, at all. but i am still unsure, am i a rebound?
My ex got divorced and got into a relationship with his ex before the divorce was even finalized. He broke up with her to be with me. We broke up and he went right back to his ex. I'm a widow so this dating stuff is all new to me. Think I'll stay single.
Yes. Married mine then got divorced 🥺
I think I'm a rebound because he left me for another girl and when she broke up with him he ran back to me and told me he missed her and was lonely. lolol. but.. I dOn'T knOW iF iM a rEbOuND
That's what I did! Sorry, but I won't be part of the picture.. not until the phantom of your ex that haunts you and looms around disappears. And I'm not even looking for commitment.. because feelings are not enough for me. I need a good common project.
I keep finding articles about how rebound relationships can be healthy, but only from the perspective of the one that is "using" the other. What about the rebound though. Can being the rebound be healthy as well?
Yes, the guy I was dating would compare me to his wife "she didn't accuse me of cheating every single day like u do"
I sometimes feel like I have the word counsellor on on forehead! Some guys that I'm attracted to seem to see me as some kind of therapist so they can get over their ex. It's crap. Hi Ryan Patrick, I was interested in signing up for the course but don't have the spare cash at the moment. Sounds great though. Love your videos! X
Just realised that the girl I'm seeing is my rebound after I was left by a girlfriend I was in a 10 year relationship with.. met this girl two months after she left, became a couple after a few weeks.. way to soon I realise now.. I need time on my own to heal.. but I didn't plan this or for her to be a rebound.
at what month together with new girl did u realise u regret it? ....
I just met this guy who probably got dumped/broke up 6yr relationship. We've known each other for 3 months & this guy keeps wanting to make me his gf. I keep saying, lets just stay noncommittal friends or else i will be the rebound. It made him angry that I don't believe him & he said he fell out of love with his ex cos they been tog for so long & that he wants to be with me. I feel like if I were to trust what he's saying & get into a relationship with him, he will change his mind halfway in the relationship and I will be screwed. What is happening currently with yours? Cos it sounds like my situation, and I'm not really sure how to handle this or what he will think..
@@annly666 Well recently, I'd say within the last month or so I guess.. We've been together for 6, almost 7 months now and I'm just now starting to work through things with my ex, this making me realize that I'm not ready. I gave myself two months to get over and through my divorce and 10 year relationship, I must have fooled myself and tried to escape it by seeking comfort, attention and closeness with someone else who wanted me. In the beginning we had lots of intimacy, talked and everything was good. It has changed and I feel myself withdrawing and having these thoughts. I don't know what I'm feeling and she clearly feels more than me.. This video and others like it sound spot on for what I'm going through and I feel bad, because it was never my intent and she will be hurt by it.. It's not easy. But I feel i must express how I feel and put myself and my wellbeing/healing first.
Can't say what you should do, but I would say you're doing the right thing by holding him off, I had a girl I was fond of do the same to me after the breakup (before I met my current girlfriend) and I felt hurt and frustrated about it, but she did the right thing for us both, as she saw I wasn't healed and wasn't ready, that it wasn't the right time.. And she didn't want to end up as my rebound. I've told her that now, that she did the right thing.
@@Jaksi-a update plz
My guy talked about his ex and compared my hair to hers the 1st day we met. :/ However, he was looking for me all along cuz he fell head over heels. We married after six months and celebrating our 12th year married this May. I did have to play it smart though.
Wht do u mean by u have 2 play it smart?
I'm curious too!! Did you play hard to get?
We were friends with no strings attached for a couple of months. I was developing feelings, I thought he was too because we were having such a good time. I told him I wanted to be exclusive and he said he just wasn’t ready or looking for something like that and he just wanted to remain friends. So I politely agreed to treat him like a friend and cut him out of my life immediately after that phone call. It was radio silence on my end for several days and he was blowing my phone up begging me to talk to him. I was crying too all the while because I missed him. I wanted to answer his texts soo bad, but I had to have faith that I was doing the right thing for myself. When I finally replied to his text message I told him that I was busy and to call me in 1hour. He was on point. He was soo happy to speak with me. Mid sentence I cut him off and told him...”I told you before and this is the last time that I will tell you again. I want to be exclusive with you.” YES! I want to be with you!” He couldn’t reply fast enough. We became madly in love and got married soon after. That was 11 year ago. Still married and with children. Scarcity was key. I only saw him a couple of times per week while we were dating, but we were on the phone a lot despite him “not being a phone” call type of person.
I was the rebound that he actually ended up marrying and then divorced less than two years in to the marriage
The fact that he never even mentioned having a recent relationship, I found out by a Facebook video where he was bringing her a cake for her birthday on December and our first date was actually like two weeks after that in January, when I confronted him and asked why he’d hide something like that he said he didn’t have to tell me :v I felt really bad and had no way of answering that because well, he really didn’t HAVE to tell me but we had talked about both our past relationships and he never brought this up and actually had told me he’d been alone for a while... I still feel bad even though we broke up 4 months ago... that’s because he also didn’t tell me he was about to travel abroad and go live forever in this other country, he had never mentioned that either and he had been planning on that for more than a year before asking me out, he knew he was leaving forever but started a relationship with me anyways... I really fell in love and now I still cry almost everyday, I feel like he ripped my heart off and stepped on it.
So sorry to hear this, Muni... Guys that give you the heads up about these types of things to be able to empower you to make the best decision for yourself if you want to get involved with a guy who just got out of something or completely splitting on you in one year's time just aren't your prince. If anything, things just get worse with them hiding things and giving you more half-truths...
I know you're hurting right now and believe me, it will get easier. But this guy did you a favor by being wildly dishonest so you'd see it sooner than later. When you heal, you'll attract guys who won't pull this crap because you'll sniff it out instantly 🙂
Ryan Patrick thank you so much for answering, I feel a bit better now knowing I’m not crazy or overreacting about this, he made me feel like I was exaggerating everything and that made me feel worse! Thank you 🙏
@@Mumu_UwU You're welcome! 🙂
@@Mumu_UwU that guy was incredibly stupid and selfish to you. He will surely get his comeuppance in his new country. Hmmph good riddance!! Don't feel bad anymore. It's like crying over cheap jewelry. Like what??
@@adj5767 I love your crying over cheap jewelry comment. Seriously who cries over crap. That's what that guy is crap
I broke up with my ex about seven months ago, but I still feel so confused. I’m not sure if I was his rebound or not - or if he’s just lazy and didn’t care as much about the relationship as I did. What I do know is that
1: he never complimented me or even told me he thought I was beautiful... he literally never said to me “you look beautiful!” the whole time we were together (which btw was about a year)
2: he abandoned me at his family’s Xmas party while we were together (he disappeared for like an hour instead of “making the rounds“ with me, like he didn’t want to show me off)... and then only spent 30 min with me and my family during the holiday season.
And 3: never really engaged any physical contact outside of hugging or hand-holding ... and even then he put my hand on the outside, like he didn’t want to take the lead! (but I may be reading too much into that, right?)
Ultimately, as much as I loved this man, I just wasn’t happy in our relationship anymore; I made it clear what I was really looking for (a committed, long- term deal) but he just didn’t have a clue as to what he wanted, and I wasn’t willing to wait for someone who may or may not want the same thing. Like I said, I don’t really know if I was his rebound (he did talk about his ex an inordinate amount), but I do have a question:
Am I crazy for still loving someone who clearly doesn’t want me the same way?
He doesn’t deserve you so stop punishing yourself. A man will walk over hot coals if he wants to be with a woman. A man who barely puts in the effort is not worth a moment of your time!
The first date at his home. Within 5 minutes of being in his home his answering a phone call from his ex. They were talking for 5mins. Once got off the phone told it was only about lawyers stuff because she was taking him to court for his money.
He kept bringing her up and stories about their past Infront of me and Infront of others. It was degrading treatment and hurtful. Remembering the past fun times with another.
Talking to eachother behind my back denial and then items of hers showing up at his home. Would make accused as oh I had to give her my other tv etc. Because I gave the wrong one after slip.
Constantly talking about house she stole his money and how he could have done things different.
Wouldn't defend me when his sister would joke and call me his ex's name.
There were so many things. All I can say to anyone. It broke my heart and hurt so bad because I loved him with every piece of my soul.
I didn't have any self worth and came out of a dv relationship and rathered hear about an ex because I knew how bad a relationship could look like.
Heal your hearts, mend your traumas. Be strong, independent individuals that way you don't attract someone like this 🙌🔥
Lesson learnt
He dumped me and set his profile picture of his ex girlfriend and I thought he was cheating on me all along and my self esteem went down to the drain. He lied to me later on that he got over her literally the day after he dumped me and requested to get back together. Silly me i agreed and it became a very toxic cycle of getting dumped for no reason every week and I'm too drained and broken for relationships... I try to tell myself not everyone is like this but i subconsciously have anxious thoughts over getting abandoned for nothing. I'm really gonna die alone... Relationships brought me too much stress, anxiety and trauma. I feel so unwanted to be treated like this, he said he liked me because i was optimistic, but after that relationship, I've changed to become pessimistic and I am not who I used to be anymore....
He disappeared for 5 months then in the middle of the night and left messages on my messages I miss you I made a mistake please lets make up,i felt then it was rebound
He didn't want be alone or something I let him back and he is slowly breaking my heart again
He never stay on line just disappears in middle of conversations like he's talking with her again
Girli hope you’re good . I’m going through it finding out I was the rebound has me all the way messed up I’m so down he begged to be with me cried real tears . He wasn’t over his 55 year old ex ( nothing wrong with older women )that I found out about looking through his phone .me and him are 26 years old . I feel so used and low I did no contact he came back but left because that’s who he wanted he just used me as an option I feel like I’m about to die I can’t get up out my bed
Hello! Not sure if im rebounding him or he’s rebounding me. Recently, lost my late boyfriend from asthma attack on my birthday 😢. The guy I’ve been talking to also recently broke up with his ex. So, what should we do? I have only been 2 dates- not yet
im in a rebound relitionship but i dont care caz im using him for a few months more to move into my official apartment ...i can post a pic with him ...or even go in his phone ....i clean and cook and thats all if im sick im on my own but just for now both of us is playing the same cards ...
i wanna hear honest opinions, i've known this guy for around 2 years from school. We only started hanging out alone more than a month ago. I started catching feelings for him and from what I felt, he also did. We kissed and everything felt "right", until I asked him about this girl who was someone he had really strong feelings for when we were in school. He told me his apple watch and credit card passwords is her birthday, his reasoning is he's too lazy to change it. When we talked about her, I felt the pain he still feels for her. They were still in contact until he had told her about our kiss, then she got mad and blocked him. My question is, am I a second option?
I should have seen it when on our second date, he talked about his wife that left him 3 months prior, with tears in his eyes. Was I ever a clueless fool. I stayed in that relationship for 2.5 years all the while feeling but ignoring my gut's urgings to get out. I ended up heartbroken when I finally got the truth out of him (that he was never going to marry me, ouch).
2 and half years??😳
Girli hope you’re good . I’m going through it finding out I was the rebound has me all the way messed up I’m so down he begged to be with me cried real tears . He wasn’t over his 55 year old ex ( nothing wrong with older women )that I found out about looking through his phone .me and him are 26 years old . I feel so used and low I did no contact he came back but left because that’s who he wanted he just used me as an option I feel like I’m about to die I can’t get up out my bed
@@brielleharmony7568 I am so sorry about how he hurt you. Trust and believe my words when I say that this too shall pass. The pain will go away. Remember that the breakup wasn't about you and means nothing in terms of your worthiness as a person or desirability as a woman. It was simply all about his needing comfort at the time and your just innocently happening to be in his path. Broken, hurt people are dangerous and hurt others. There was no way for you to have known he was one of them when you met.
So when you are done grieving, pick yourself up, make the effort to look pretty every day and take care of yourself well. Don't re-traumatize yourself by dwelling on what happened with him. When he pops up in your brain, immediately switch your focus back to positive thoughts about something else and what and who else in your life you love and give your energy to ones who love you. Get busy and get better and be better. You're worth it and are going to be more than good if you do this stuff. I promise.
@@bellabong8862 thank you so much I really appreciate you taking the time to write this . I’m so tempted to message him telling him I know he used me as a rebound and go at him but i not sure if that will make me feel better in the long run and tbh I don’t think he would care as he doesn’t take accountability for things and stopped caring about me clearly . He is probably on to his next rebound already because he can’t get over this ex that pays him no mind so he goes from female to female .It just hurts so much and I’m not around any family right now as I’ve moved away so I really don’t have no one to vent too and to spend time with to forget about this sooner. I’m in England and we are still in lock down with nothing open so just have to stay at home so it’s harder to forget . But thank you for your words 🤗
How do I understand if I am a rebound just because he needs to heal or because he doesn't really love me?
He never stopped communicating with his ex.
He got with me and then kicked her out!
Yeah, Ive been rebound twice each time move fast with intimacy and they immediately compare contrast with ex. Both guys ended up getting married to their exs few months later. What i did was put my standards up, listen to his venting znd attempted to give him better understsnding of his exs point of view. Once i played couselor they totally everything was better. They stopped faking it.
Oh my goodness So i’m going through a breakup and what i’m assuming this situation is for him( he initiated it) it is less than a week after a very serious relationship between us ended, he got all physical with a girl and i reavfed out to his friend because he was my friend before i knew they became friends, and he said “He hasn’t brought her up and things like, “ he just doesn’t talk ja out that” to his friends?? That’s a big one.