Not too long ago I witnessed a young child having a "tantrum" in the grocery. The mom sat down next to the child (ignoring all the staring eyes) and leaned over and started whispering to him while stroking his head. The child's breathing started slowing down and finally he climbed into his mother's lap. She continued to whisper to him and then stood up holding him with his head resting on her shoulder. I was so touched by her gentleness and kindness (I'm sure we have all seen incidents like this handled very differently) and her willingness to be totally present with he child during this stressful time. I'm sure her soft and calming voice made a world of difference to her child.
My view of control was more of taking over. But using a gentle low voice can be a great way for a guide, parent or anyone to exercise control over a situation. Great reminder. Thanks Jesse.
Thanks for this episode! I really want to work on this myself so I'm grareful for the reminder. I'm in Latin America so being loud is kind of the default for kids and adults. As you said some moments merit a loud voice, I've also noticed some children are really sensitive and will close themselves when an adult raises their voice while for others it seems to help them snap out of it in the moment, and then respond really well if right after I lower my voice and redirect them. I learned from a colleague she would clap her hands once close to the child misbehaving to get their attention if they were a bit out of control😂 and then proceed to redirect them. I find that works sometimes too. So I guess we need to be intentional about raising our voice only if needed or use other strategies. But I agree a low voice brings everyone to a calm state where we can think more clearly and make better choices ❤ hoping to make this the mode of operating. Thanks again for the opportunity to think about this further!
Not too long ago I witnessed a young child having a "tantrum" in the grocery. The mom sat down next to the child (ignoring all the staring eyes) and leaned over and started whispering to him while stroking his head. The child's breathing started slowing down and finally he climbed into his mother's lap. She continued to whisper to him and then stood up holding him with his head resting on her shoulder. I was so touched by her gentleness and kindness (I'm sure we have all seen incidents like this handled very differently) and her willingness to be totally present with he child during this stressful time. I'm sure her soft and calming voice made a world of difference to her child.
My view of control was more of taking over. But using a gentle low voice can be a great way for a guide, parent or anyone to exercise control over a situation. Great reminder. Thanks Jesse.
Such a helpful reminder. Thank you!
Thanks
Thanks for this episode! I really want to work on this myself so I'm grareful for the reminder. I'm in Latin America so being loud is kind of the default for kids and adults.
As you said some moments merit a loud voice, I've also noticed some children are really sensitive and will close themselves when an adult raises their voice while for others it seems to help them snap out of it in the moment, and then respond really well if right after I lower my voice and redirect them.
I learned from a colleague she would clap her hands once close to the child misbehaving to get their attention if they were a bit out of control😂 and then proceed to redirect them. I find that works sometimes too. So I guess we need to be intentional about raising our voice only if needed or use other strategies.
But I agree a low voice brings everyone to a calm state where we can think more clearly and make better choices ❤ hoping to make this the mode of operating.
Thanks again for the opportunity to think about this further!