I had a Whopper today at Burger King (True Story)
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- Опубліковано 12 вер 2024
- Today I digress in detail about the lunch I had at Burger King in front of a Christmas tree wearing a festive tie in one take with no editing. Hollywood, eat your heart out!
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We love you John!
When does it come on SoundCloud ? I want to listen as soon as possible.
I listen on shortwave and SoundCloud
TheReportOfTheWeek I find that surprisingly Burger King has the best grilled chicken sandwich out of Jack-in-the-Box McDonald’s Wendy’s or KFC... I would like to know what you think...
TheReportOfTheWeek 🇬🇧💖💕🥶
Screenplay coming soon!
Hello my Lord
The Hero's Journey
You are so adorable
Can’t wait. You should have Scorsese direct it.
I am ecstatic
This is a short version of "The Odyssey", by Homer.
To be fair this is probably more enjoyable.
We were promised a "True Story". Instead, we got the meaning of life.
Best comment of the day!
Preach.
0:56
I did the unthinkable this afternoon… I went to Burger King, willingly, and it was an experience, I’ll tell you that.
I don’t know how the idea came to me. You know, it’s like it’s one of those things where it just pops into your head. Like sometimes when it comes down to your eating plans, whatever it is that you are going to be dining on or feasting on or just snacking on for the day, sometimes it is a well orchestrated, fine tuned, well oiled machine where you have every single step planned out and you have it down to, not even just a minute, to the second, to the millisecond and everything is just exceptionally orchestrated as though we’re out of a Hollywoo movie.
Other times, you’re feeling spontaneous. You just go for it. This was one of those days.
I said “I’m gonna go to Burger King and you know what? No regrets! I’m just gonna go in and I’m gonna get something to eat”.
And this is one of those things. It just came out of the blue. I wasn’t thinking about this last night, I wasn’t dreaming about this, I wasn’t anticipating to do a review, nothing. It just came to me all of a sudden, Burger King… I’m gonna go to Burger King!
The determination was on another level today. That’s all that I could even… That’s the only way I can express it… It was on a completely different level. Because it’s a cold day today and, keep in mind, I’ve been in Florida for a while. It is freezing today. It is probably… I can’t really read what the thermometer says. It’s at the very least, It’s in the 30’s outside. It is a freezing cold today. Wind chill brings it down into the 20’s easily.
I was looking… and it’s one of those days where any little puddles or lakes are frozen over. It is a cold day. It is harsh. It is dangerous. It is treacherous. I said you know what? I’m gonna brave that cold. I’m gonna brave the ice. The arctic winds, I will fight against and I’m gonna do what I have to do to take the 5 minute travel and get to Burger King.
And I stepped outside and that wave of cold was incredible! and nature was fighting against me! I could feel that cold air and part of me wanted to say turn around, don’t do it, go back inside! Get comfortable and eat something else. But I fought against it. I persisted and I kept pushing forward. I’m not gonna let that cold stop me! I’m a man on a mission and I’m gonna go to Burger King! So I begin the travel, the journey.
And this is one of those things that it’s like… You ever get that feeling where you’re doing something that you know, you don’t normally do and you’re kind of getting this feeling like, wow, I can’t believe I’m actually doing this. And perhaps sometimes it’s a pleasant anticipation, other times it can be a little worrisome. That’s what I was kind of feeling as I was making my way over to Burger King and it was like, you know, I can’t believe I’m actually doing this. I’m going over there, and that five minute travel seemed like it was at least 57 minutes long.
When I finally got to the Burger King parking lot, I just had to stop and I had to just examine the Burger King edifice for a short period of time, not anything to long, but for a few minutes at least to just take it in. Number one: I reached the destination and I needed to take a, you know, size up this building. I needed to know what I was in for when I went in there, but I wasn’t just going through the drive-through, no, no, I was actually dining in this time around.
I was sizing it up. I was assessing it. What am I going to be in for when I open those doors and set foot inside the almighty BK?
So I was sizing it up. And after a few minutes, I exhaled. I closed my eyes and I took a deep breath and I was pumping myself up. I was getting psyched! I was saying “Alright, I’m gonna do this on the count of three. I’m gonna go in there and whatever happens, happens! One. Two. Three…” I made it past the parking lot and I got in. When I opened the door, it was eerily quiet in there, and that means one of two things:
A. It’s just not a busy time, or
B. They’re waiting for me…
As it turns out, it was just, there wasn’t a lot of business. But I go in, right?. Let’s not… I gave it away, but that’s not, that’s… Let’s try not to… And I go in!
The menu stands there. Like, you know in the movie 2001 a Space Odyssey? You know the black… What is that? The monolith? That’s what it reminded me of. It was towering over me, and I was trying to read every line. And I was thinking, It was very intimidating. I was trying to think “Get a hold of yourself, what are you going to get?”. I was feeling spontaneous. I didn’t make up my mind, I just knew I had to be at Burger King and I had to get something there!
A whopper! One whopper! As is.
I was served. I paid for it. Dine in.
I could barely even get it out of my mouth at that point, but I kept saying “Hold yourself together! Just keep it together lad!” And what you have to do next is get some napkins. No drink today, I wasn’t feeling like going that far. Get some napkins and get to a seat. Okey. You got this! You can do it! You made it this far! You got to the Burger King. You got your food and now you just have to get a seat and eat it too. You are this far. Do not turn back! Do not waver! Do not give up!
Very well then. I clasped the tray. Because they gave me a tray. You know, they like, you know how some places they’ll give you a bag and then… but they gave me the tray and I got the whopper and it was wrapped up, but it was on a tray, with napkins on the tray. I began scanning the restaurant for a place to sit. And then I saw it! Ketchup packets! And I didn’t really do anything with them, I just kind of looked at the ketchup packets and then I just kept going about my business and I finally found a booth.
I sat in the booth. And at this point I was in the zone, I said “You know what? I’ve got a hold of myself. I’m just gonna eat this whopper and you know what? Where just gonna do it!” And that’s what I did. I sat down. I planted myself in that seat. I acted as though I was buckling myself in. I was in the zone at this point!
I unwrapped it. I examined the whopper. I took that first bite and the whopper was fighting back! It was… the mayo (I forgot to get it without any mayo) the mayo was getting everywhere. It was getting on my face! It was trying to get to the suit, but I didn’t… that thankfully didn’t happen. It was getting on my face. The pickles were sliding out. Some of the onions were dangling down. But I kept chomping down and devouring this whopper burger. And I ate it. And you know what?
The whopper was actually pretty good. I can’t complain. It was actually a pretty decent whopper burger. I mean, for what it was worth, if I usually get a whopper, it doesn’t have you know, I try to get it light on the mayo or no mayo. Because I’ll sometimes get a whopper from Burger King, but it was just a little too much mayo, you know? and I think that’s a universal problem. But I ate the whopper. It was pretty good for was it was. Job well done! So I threw out the garbage. I , you know, wiped my face. Got any remnants of the whopper off my hands. Make sure I was all cleaned up. Then I packed it up. Exited the building. And made my way back. Job well done, I emerged from the almighty Burger King victorious.
You're the real MVP for typing all that.
What's it like having even less of a life than the rest of us?
I wish there was a way to copy this but my phone won't let me
Gosh damn dude! Thanks for the text! 👍🏻😎👍🏻
Why would someone willingly spend time on writing a transcript of a 10 min. Are you from Reddit?
*Now THIS is the content I subscribed for*
“The whopper was fighting back” I’m dead 😂
You bite the cheese the cheese bites back
Me too XD XD XD XD XD X D XD XD XD XD XDXD XD XD XDXD XD XDX D DX XDXDD
Yeah, I know I’ve been to Burger King before, but going for the first time was an experience truly it was a most delicate experience
How can one man be so brave.
such an inspiration
I'd have to agree with both of you.
He is our Lord and savior.
All of the above ^^^^^^
He's no mere mortal
when you turn a boring story of going to burger king into a dramatic masterpiece, you're an absolute legend john.
this is a story we will tell our grandchildren someday...
Burger King CEO wiped the sweat off his brow after 9:17
RWD3 The king broke into his house at 3 am and dropped the sweat off his forehead with a glistening whopper.
the only "storytime" youtube video i will ever watch
JedDraws It’s truly amazing
@@nathicxd 😎😎
😎
I mean it's comical AF
John is at a different level.
Hmmm ... ✌💚☕
Only you, reviewbrah, can turn a meaningless trip to BK into a edge of your seat, thrill ride of whimsical commentary about a place that has, overall, lost its charm. 😁👍😉
CRami90962 and all in one take
You're the burger king
Marisa you’re the queen 😍
Improv King.
Agreed
So true :)
Burger GOD
This is the perfect explanation to someone of what actually having anxiety in public is like.
This is me
Relatable.
Genuinely one of the best stories you've put out in a while. 10/10
The only man on the planet with the ability to make a trip to Burger King sound like a thriller novel
Matt - truth
Facts
I'm inspired by his brevity. Only 1 in a million people would have braved the bitter, freezing cold like he did. Most of us are frightened to try anything new for our own sake. But this man didn't do it for himself. He did it for you. He did it for me. He did it for us. He did it for equality. He did it for justice. He did it for heroics. He did it for humanity. He did it for those who have come before and for those who will come after. Selflessness is often spoken about but rarely acted upon. This man didn't just get upset. He did something about it. I want to thank him for his courage. Let us all give thanks. And remember to donate to wikipedia this month.
I almost didn't believe this story but then I read the title and knew he would never tell a lie.
is this guy like the fucking mr rogers of youtube. I love him lol
XD
Wow nice eyes
Only this dude can make an interesting story out of going to a takeaway.
A whopper of a tale. You are the king of burger anecdotes. 🍔
It's a good thing that you added that "true story" in the title cause otherwise I wouldn't believed that you had a Whopper!
Absolute madlad
Have they called you about hosting the Oscars yet?
"Hello everyone, this is Running On Empty, Film review!"
Maybe they can get him to host the Oscars!
Maybe they can get him to host the oscars!
Maybe they can get him to host the oscars!
Hes too good for them
Maybe they can get him to host the oscars!
Mabye they can get him to bost the oscars!
Actual. Madlad.
I never know if he is being serious or joking! The story of him fighting to get to BK is outstanding though
He had me with ' the pickle is sliding out'
R/T Life
Sir, that is his genius.
well he lives in a warm area if you watch his videos
Is there one video on the internet where he breaks character? Is he more woke than the rest of us? Did this gentlemen hop in a time machine in 1940, and we're all living in his future? The world may never know.
This is like my inner monologue when I try to do something out of my comfort zone and I’m fighting with my anxiety, such as going to Burger King.
The hero we need, but not the one we deserve
Not all heroes wear capes
After 5 minutes of listening to this story I realized I have never been so determined to hear the outcome of a story about Burger King. We need audio books of this. You are great at telling stories.
Glad you enjoyed it!
"Hold yourself together, lad"-Absolute MadLad, 2018
For 10 minutes & 31 seconds of my day I felt happier ... ReviewBrah has eased some of my depression, thanks💜
Everyone is depressed these days... Jesus...
Your cute 💘🙂
He has a way of making things seem like it will all be okay.
What about the other 1 second?
You really want a good night's sleep put this fella's playlist on for background noise. His voice is like a comfy blanket, no joke. Nite nite!
Nothing can stop Reviewbrah from eating a meal. Not blizzards, not snowstorms, not even a speeding car. Reviewbrah is immortal. He is the ultimate food reviewer, as every meal he reviews becomes blessed by his glorious touch.
Justin Y. All hail, Reviewbrah.
You're everywhere dude lol
You're a parasite, Justin. You dont even watch the content. You just hop from video to video hoping this infamy lands you relevancy in real life.
Amen
Neither can anything stop you from being at like every video on UA-cam
This is gold😂😂 I’ve never heard a more epic and interesting story about an ordinary trip to bk in my life lmfao
Take notes, Hollywood. This is how you tell a story.
Wow, Thank you for telling us this story. It was super engaging. I was on the edge of my seat when it got to the ketchup packets part. Is he going to get some packets? Is he not? I DON'T KNOW. So I watched and listened. It was absolutely brilliant. My favorite part was when you left the Burger King victorious. I love happy endings in stories, and I am super glad that's how it ended. I remember once when I went to Burger King for the same reasons as you! I entered the establishment, and order a chicken nugget meal. I walked to a booth that was gleaming from the florescent light above. It was as if the booth was calling my name. When I saw the booth, I nearly teared up from pure aw. I remember when I sat down at that booth, I felt a gust of unexpected cold air. Then suddenly I saw him. He sat in the seat across from me in my booth. It was God himself. I sat in disbelief. Tears riding down my face at a rapid pace. I felt like I saw my dead brother without it actually being him. At that point, god started to tell me that I am the one. The one that is supposed to save everything. As he continues to talk to me, I feel an uncontrollable force, forcing me to fall asleep. I'm out. Out cold. In front of God. After a few minutes I hear a voice.
" Wake up! Wake up!" said a voice that seemed vaguely familiar.
"Huh? Where am I?" I said in a still discombobulated state. I get no response. I look around and realized that I was in my bed.
"Hrmm, I guess it was just a dream." I thought. I got up and put on pajamas. As I walk to my door, I hear a faint crying. It sounded like a grown man. It was a vague genuine cry, but it also sounded like it was someone playing a joke.
I opened my door and saw the chicken nuggets I order from my so called dream. I started to walk to my nuggets, then God walks out of the other room!
"Hi Zac. So to continue what I was telling you. You are the one. You bought the magic nuggets that will be wielded to save the world." God proclaimed
"Wait what? Magic Nuggets? Why..." as I asked God this, he grabbed the Magic Nuggets and put them in my hand. He told me that every single one of the nuggets have a purpose. He starts to point to individual nuggets. "This one is for curing all illnesses, This one is for curing poverty, This one is for ending all current and future wars, This one is for ending world hunger, and lastly this one is for ending all crimes."
After God pointed out all of the Nuggets. He also said " All you would have to do is eat the nuggets." As he said that, I looked down at the nuggets. "I have the power to change the world." I said with a maniacal look in my eyes.
"Yes you do Zac, all you have to do is eat them." God said with a rushing tone in his voice. "You have a limited time to eat the nuggets or they lose their magic! Hurry up and eat them so you can save this wretched planet. Eat them Zac" yelled God at a fast rate. As God was yelling at me, I looked around for the Honey Mustard sauce.
"Uhh God, there's no sauce." I whimpered fearfully. In an instant God begins to yell. Loud. Fast. He gets louder every time he repeats the phrase "There's No Sauce!". He started to expand like a balloon. Bigger and bigger until eventually he bursts into flame. Screaming the same phrase repeatedly.
Then it just... stops. Everything around me has froze in place, as if some one pause a movie. Except I was the only one that could move. The Nuggets were still in my hands at that point, until they just vanished. Then God vanished. Then everything around me vanished. I was in a completely white never ending void. To top it all off, there was complete silence. As if I was in an Anechoic Chamber.
"Why didn't you just eat the nuggets?" asked a lone voice coming from some where I couldn't comprehend. "All you had to do was eat the dang Nuggets."
"Chamber # 439 has failed the test." Came another distant voice. I suddenly feel something being taken off my head. I'm in a brown chair that looks like it was ripped from an old barber shop. I sat up and instantly started to feel woozy. "Where am I?" I asked before I started to hyperventilate. In an instant, I passed out. After what felt like a few minutes, I woke up in the same booth from earlier. This time God wasn't there. I sat up and saw that my nuggets were still there with Honey Mustard sauce. I felt blessed but confused about the whole situation that concurred.
I brushed it off proclaiming it twas just a dream. I opened the dark yellow Honey Mustard and started to eat the succulent chicken nuggets, and I can report that those were the best chicken nuggets i have had to this day. After I ate the nuggets, I threw the garbage away and left the establishment. To this day, I don't understand what the true meaning the the "dream" was.
I love you ReviewBrah
@@zylpai what an absolutely fantastic comment.... 👍
@@Sir_Catnip Thank you!
ITS CRIMINAL THAT THIS HAS ONLY 3 REPLYS AND 14 LIKES
You sure have the patience of a saint i cant go there they always get my order wrong at burgerking.
Drew142 same. Or I find a hair. OR BOTH.
They never do that to me when I order anything at BK
Nice pfp
Of the hundreds times I've eaten at Burger King, I don't thing they've ever gotten my order wrong. Even at Taco Bell, where I've eaten thousands of times, I can count all the times they've gotten it wrong on my hand.
Burger King, have it some way
King Arthur, Achilles, Ragnar Lodbrok, what's that? Nah this is a true legend living among us.
"and the Whopper was fighting back" holy shit
dangling onions ain't got shit on our boy
"No drink today. I wasn't feeling like going that far."
Reminding me of a nice Hunter S. Thompson narration :)
SOMEONE CALL THE PRESIDENT
if having two hot girlfriends would make people president, i would be president
"MRS OBAMA GET DOWN!!!"
N-WORD
@@AxxLAfriku only one of them is your daughter.
Call me instead
0:00 to 1:00, this is exactly what my life felt like everytime i left the house 5 years back when i had extreme social anxiety and agoraphobia.. Even a trip to the store to buy milk had to be pre-planned, what i would say to the clerk, how i would enter the store, how i would react to any probable unexpected events. Sigh. So glad i'm not at that place anymore.
My brave prince, stories of your daring ventures will be remembered for centuries to come
ReviewBrah! We need a modern day Christmas Story by the fire.. this could have been that moment. Still amazing.. Keep it Up and Happy Holidays!!
or b: theyre waiting for me
"get a seat and eat it too" good lord you were hungry
"I went to Burger King willingly."
lol you're a wild man. I don't know how to summon up that level of courage.
As someone with social anxiety, this is literally what a simple trip to Burger King is like for me.
I can relate, thank God they invented Cars and Drive-Ins.
Review Brah has social anxiety too
Yarcofin same. Simple tasks become an event.
@@yordlop Gods don't have diseases like this
Same or a gas station to buy hot cheetos
Oh my gosh. This is so funny. The part where you look up at the sign trying to figure out what to get is great. You look like one of those people John Pinette was talking about in his "Get out of the line" skits. I'm still smiling as I type this. Thanks for an unexpected treat.
Reviewbrah really took one for the team this time
He's currently on a saline drip IV for dehydration from exploding diarrhea.
He's a God amongst mere mortals
God your beautiful hannalynn
**When someone asks how old are you**
I dunno between 13 and 54
I wonder how many of his videos have this exact same comment on them.
This entire video to r/madlads
"The whopper was fighting back" THIS is where our story teller broke through the 4th wall... Eons of oral history of the spoken word comes rushing back. Subscribed... if I hit that Subscribe button any harder it would register on the richter scale.
Best screenplay of 2018. The suspense was killer. A true artist.
well said madam...well said
"Dealing with Social Anxiety: A Short Story"
The way he can keep a straight face is just...... inspiring. Bravo!
Wow, a Burger King story I never knew I needed. You're the best story teller in the universe, it kept me on the edge of my seat that's for sure! I was expecting that you were going to tell us they made a mistake with your order.
You are one fantastic storyteller.
I just sat here for 10 minutes listening to a man talk about getting a whopper at Burger King and remained entertained throughout the whole video
This is completely insane
But in the best way 😂😂😂😂😂😂
This tale would make for an immensely thrilling short film.
Last night I ate a McRib and got sauce on my jeans
Did you get some McRib sauce on your jeans too?
fuck dude
cool
The other day I bought a MsPussy and got sauce on my underwear.
Lol....
Man I love your storytelling, I was around when you first started. Congrats 🎉 on over a million subscribers. I’m about to eat a whopper.
This channel is so pure. Keep doing you, reviewbrah!
I would purchase ANY audiobook if it was read by this beautiful man. He is truly an adept storyteller.
You should get the nobel prize of peace
Ignacio Franzese🎆 🏆🎆
I love your humor and sarcasm! It’s perfect! Your channel is genuine and original.
You made a relatively incredibly boring story and told it like it was the last story you would ever tell anyone.
no lies was laughing my ass off, because this story was completely pointless. but in the way he told it, it was incredible. lol
Lmaooo I love this guy... “the chicken, it’s DUNKED!” “I did the unthinkable today... I went to Burger King” “my disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined”
Reviewbrah needs to narrate every holiday movie or story
The mayo part of the story i literally spilled my drink everywhere ..I was laughing so hard .. Thereportoftheweek makes me laugh harder then I have ever laughed in my life love him
This needs to be on Audible!
Kev Womy he sounds like an audible teader
It would be "at least, 57 minutes long"
I'll never look at burgers again the same way after hearing this report. Well done narration!!!
This was the most emotionally conflicted Burger King visit ever. Way to battle through review brah you are a brave man.👏🏻👏🏻
I really was on the edge of my chair watching and listening to this one. We really need to see the movie when it comes to a theater near us !! Just kidding, of course, but YOU DO have the best personality and discipline for storytelling and reviews. Love your channel, and happy Christmas season to you and your family in Florida from one frigid Canadian !
Jack London should have wrote a short story about this "To eat at Burger King"
This is poetry disguised as a vlog disguised as clickbait disguised as a food review
edit: wait reviewbrah, you do use the apps for each restaurant, right?
Christmas came early guys
So did i
John is fucking brilliant. Makes my day. "it means one of two things....either it's just not a busy time or they were expecting me." spit out my beer
this shit is probably the funniest video I've seen from this dude so far
Definitely was on the edge of my seat! Great story telling! Always a pleasure to hear from you, sir!
His sarcasm is as rich as dark chocolate
“No drink today.. wasn’t feelin like, going that far” 😂
I've only seen a few of your vids...but this was just epic man...epic!
Spot on...it worked!... around Halloween I started tuning in...You R the man...keep doing what ur doing...
I'm loving this cold Florida weather...have to appreciate it after our long hot Fall!...Floridafan..:)
Your Christmas tree looks crooked ReviewBrah! Feliz Navidad!
Am I the only one that thinks the Christmas tree looks slanted lol
Nothing is slanted in Review Bruh's world. One of your eyes is lower than the other.
@@aggieaguilera4real lmao
You are a brilliant improvisor. Happy holidays and please don't fail to eat your broccoli.
I demand merch of the KETCHUP PACKETS moment lmfao!!!! You're wild!
Merry Christmas, review brah!
As a Finnish person, it's so funny hearing him talking about braving the cold and ice, arctic winds of Florida and all that.
No kidding u actually had a *_W H O O P E R_*
Whooooooooper
I love this guy, he turns a story of him going to burger king into a highly detailed recount, with thoughts completely explained in detail.
You should write novels. I have a feeling you would be good at it
He writes short stories.
maybe he does :)
Reviewbrah, your channel is wonderful & wholesome and I truly enjoy every video of yours. Thank you for the great content.
i am scared right now
This entire story resonates with me, holding yourself together in a public place is not easy. Such detailed explanations and imagery.
I watched this video by the fireplace smoking a Cuban cigar from Fidel Castro’s private stash and enjoying a nice glass of fine brandy. Life is good.
Fireplace?? You should be heating your house with a propane heater!!
Just leave the stove on
Boogity Hoo
Remember that time the store blew up because of Buckley? I think Hank Hill is thinking twice about the propane.
Boogity Hoo I’m not that hank hill it’s just a name coincidence
@@hankhill1986That would be understandable but your pictureclooks just like him too. So are you stealing his identity??
Other UA-camrs tell scary stories and stuff. But this man, is a complete genius for making a comedy like story with food in it and he is the heroic person Braving the cold day and going to Burger King to get a whopper, WHAT A LEGEND. What a gentleman. Xd
Got very cold here in England today,,,,couldn't resist a McDonalds,,,wishing Report n the happy family,followers a happy Xmas,,,,
What an absolute goddamn hero. I give you all the "one clap makes a crowd clap" clapping sessions my dear LORD
Best story time ever!
My Son, he is 7, and I just watched this video. He loved the part about the mayo. My favorite part was the silent BK... "it's reviewbra... places everyone!" is what I imagined was said inside as you sat in the parking lot. well, thank you for the story, my Son and I look forward to the next one.