I had a Whopper today at Burger King (True Story)

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  • Опубліковано 12 вер 2024
  • Today I digress in detail about the lunch I had at Burger King in front of a Christmas tree wearing a festive tie in one take with no editing. Hollywood, eat your heart out!
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,8 тис.

  • @TheReportOfTheWeek
    @TheReportOfTheWeek  5 років тому +428

    Happy Upcoming Holidays Everyone!
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    • @samuel_2156
      @samuel_2156 5 років тому +2

      We love you John!

    • @miamiheat33162
      @miamiheat33162 5 років тому

      When does it come on SoundCloud ? I want to listen as soon as possible.

    • @ShemajRagin
      @ShemajRagin 5 років тому +1

      I listen on shortwave and SoundCloud

    • @GregoryWillTwitch
      @GregoryWillTwitch 5 років тому

      TheReportOfTheWeek I find that surprisingly Burger King has the best grilled chicken sandwich out of Jack-in-the-Box McDonald’s Wendy’s or KFC... I would like to know what you think...

    • @hollywood8687
      @hollywood8687 5 років тому +1

      TheReportOfTheWeek 🇬🇧💖💕🥶

  • @TheReportOfTheWeek
    @TheReportOfTheWeek  5 років тому +950

    Screenplay coming soon!

  • @skylab14
    @skylab14 5 років тому +432

    This is a short version of "The Odyssey", by Homer.

    • @wormgroup
      @wormgroup 5 років тому +5

      To be fair this is probably more enjoyable.

  • @JamesThompson97
    @JamesThompson97 5 років тому +387

    We were promised a "True Story". Instead, we got the meaning of life.

  • @pipepaz1670
    @pipepaz1670 5 років тому +739

    I did the unthinkable this afternoon… I went to Burger King, willingly, and it was an experience, I’ll tell you that.
    I don’t know how the idea came to me. You know, it’s like it’s one of those things where it just pops into your head. Like sometimes when it comes down to your eating plans, whatever it is that you are going to be dining on or feasting on or just snacking on for the day, sometimes it is a well orchestrated, fine tuned, well oiled machine where you have every single step planned out and you have it down to, not even just a minute, to the second, to the millisecond and everything is just exceptionally orchestrated as though we’re out of a Hollywoo movie.
    Other times, you’re feeling spontaneous. You just go for it. This was one of those days.
    I said “I’m gonna go to Burger King and you know what? No regrets! I’m just gonna go in and I’m gonna get something to eat”.
    And this is one of those things. It just came out of the blue. I wasn’t thinking about this last night, I wasn’t dreaming about this, I wasn’t anticipating to do a review, nothing. It just came to me all of a sudden, Burger King… I’m gonna go to Burger King!
    The determination was on another level today. That’s all that I could even… That’s the only way I can express it… It was on a completely different level. Because it’s a cold day today and, keep in mind, I’ve been in Florida for a while. It is freezing today. It is probably… I can’t really read what the thermometer says. It’s at the very least, It’s in the 30’s outside. It is a freezing cold today. Wind chill brings it down into the 20’s easily.
    I was looking… and it’s one of those days where any little puddles or lakes are frozen over. It is a cold day. It is harsh. It is dangerous. It is treacherous. I said you know what? I’m gonna brave that cold. I’m gonna brave the ice. The arctic winds, I will fight against and I’m gonna do what I have to do to take the 5 minute travel and get to Burger King.
    And I stepped outside and that wave of cold was incredible! and nature was fighting against me! I could feel that cold air and part of me wanted to say turn around, don’t do it, go back inside! Get comfortable and eat something else. But I fought against it. I persisted and I kept pushing forward. I’m not gonna let that cold stop me! I’m a man on a mission and I’m gonna go to Burger King! So I begin the travel, the journey.
    And this is one of those things that it’s like… You ever get that feeling where you’re doing something that you know, you don’t normally do and you’re kind of getting this feeling like, wow, I can’t believe I’m actually doing this. And perhaps sometimes it’s a pleasant anticipation, other times it can be a little worrisome. That’s what I was kind of feeling as I was making my way over to Burger King and it was like, you know, I can’t believe I’m actually doing this. I’m going over there, and that five minute travel seemed like it was at least 57 minutes long.
    When I finally got to the Burger King parking lot, I just had to stop and I had to just examine the Burger King edifice for a short period of time, not anything to long, but for a few minutes at least to just take it in. Number one: I reached the destination and I needed to take a, you know, size up this building. I needed to know what I was in for when I went in there, but I wasn’t just going through the drive-through, no, no, I was actually dining in this time around.
    I was sizing it up. I was assessing it. What am I going to be in for when I open those doors and set foot inside the almighty BK?
    So I was sizing it up. And after a few minutes, I exhaled. I closed my eyes and I took a deep breath and I was pumping myself up. I was getting psyched! I was saying “Alright, I’m gonna do this on the count of three. I’m gonna go in there and whatever happens, happens! One. Two. Three…” I made it past the parking lot and I got in. When I opened the door, it was eerily quiet in there, and that means one of two things:
    A. It’s just not a busy time, or
    B. They’re waiting for me…
    As it turns out, it was just, there wasn’t a lot of business. But I go in, right?. Let’s not… I gave it away, but that’s not, that’s… Let’s try not to… And I go in!
    The menu stands there. Like, you know in the movie 2001 a Space Odyssey? You know the black… What is that? The monolith? That’s what it reminded me of. It was towering over me, and I was trying to read every line. And I was thinking, It was very intimidating. I was trying to think “Get a hold of yourself, what are you going to get?”. I was feeling spontaneous. I didn’t make up my mind, I just knew I had to be at Burger King and I had to get something there!
    A whopper! One whopper! As is.
    I was served. I paid for it. Dine in.
    I could barely even get it out of my mouth at that point, but I kept saying “Hold yourself together! Just keep it together lad!” And what you have to do next is get some napkins. No drink today, I wasn’t feeling like going that far. Get some napkins and get to a seat. Okey. You got this! You can do it! You made it this far! You got to the Burger King. You got your food and now you just have to get a seat and eat it too. You are this far. Do not turn back! Do not waver! Do not give up!
    Very well then. I clasped the tray. Because they gave me a tray. You know, they like, you know how some places they’ll give you a bag and then… but they gave me the tray and I got the whopper and it was wrapped up, but it was on a tray, with napkins on the tray. I began scanning the restaurant for a place to sit. And then I saw it! Ketchup packets! And I didn’t really do anything with them, I just kind of looked at the ketchup packets and then I just kept going about my business and I finally found a booth.
    I sat in the booth. And at this point I was in the zone, I said “You know what? I’ve got a hold of myself. I’m just gonna eat this whopper and you know what? Where just gonna do it!” And that’s what I did. I sat down. I planted myself in that seat. I acted as though I was buckling myself in. I was in the zone at this point!
    I unwrapped it. I examined the whopper. I took that first bite and the whopper was fighting back! It was… the mayo (I forgot to get it without any mayo) the mayo was getting everywhere. It was getting on my face! It was trying to get to the suit, but I didn’t… that thankfully didn’t happen. It was getting on my face. The pickles were sliding out. Some of the onions were dangling down. But I kept chomping down and devouring this whopper burger. And I ate it. And you know what?
    The whopper was actually pretty good. I can’t complain. It was actually a pretty decent whopper burger. I mean, for what it was worth, if I usually get a whopper, it doesn’t have you know, I try to get it light on the mayo or no mayo. Because I’ll sometimes get a whopper from Burger King, but it was just a little too much mayo, you know? and I think that’s a universal problem. But I ate the whopper. It was pretty good for was it was. Job well done! So I threw out the garbage. I , you know, wiped my face. Got any remnants of the whopper off my hands. Make sure I was all cleaned up. Then I packed it up. Exited the building. And made my way back. Job well done, I emerged from the almighty Burger King victorious.

    • @retardationnation345
      @retardationnation345 5 років тому +90

      You're the real MVP for typing all that.

    • @LordZoth6292
      @LordZoth6292 5 років тому +51

      What's it like having even less of a life than the rest of us?

    • @aggressivelyamerican1551
      @aggressivelyamerican1551 5 років тому +19

      I wish there was a way to copy this but my phone won't let me

    • @Bassotronics
      @Bassotronics 5 років тому +14

      Gosh damn dude! Thanks for the text! 👍🏻😎👍🏻

    • @Hotcalop
      @Hotcalop 5 років тому +39

      Why would someone willingly spend time on writing a transcript of a 10 min. Are you from Reddit?

  • @dastanovich2476
    @dastanovich2476 5 років тому +278

    *Now THIS is the content I subscribed for*

  • @someguy1688
    @someguy1688 5 років тому +169

    “The whopper was fighting back” I’m dead 😂

    • @EnergeticMooMoo
      @EnergeticMooMoo 5 років тому +5

      You bite the cheese the cheese bites back

    • @joelkelly5883
      @joelkelly5883 3 роки тому

      Me too XD XD XD XD XD X D XD XD XD XD XDXD XD XD XDXD XD XDX D DX XDXDD

    • @xnibbyjonas
      @xnibbyjonas 5 днів тому

      Yeah, I know I’ve been to Burger King before, but going for the first time was an experience truly it was a most delicate experience

  • @DevonPalmer98
    @DevonPalmer98 5 років тому +442

    How can one man be so brave.

    • @Timeyy
      @Timeyy 5 років тому +6

      such an inspiration

    • @bbseal6174
      @bbseal6174 5 років тому +3

      I'd have to agree with both of you.

    • @tylerrivas8542
      @tylerrivas8542 5 років тому +2

      He is our Lord and savior.

    • @baitrunner1000
      @baitrunner1000 5 років тому

      All of the above ^^^^^^

    • @uPick-iLick
      @uPick-iLick 5 років тому +4

      He's no mere mortal

  • @crimeing
    @crimeing 5 років тому +55

    when you turn a boring story of going to burger king into a dramatic masterpiece, you're an absolute legend john.

  • @baileybrian9560
    @baileybrian9560 5 років тому +191

    this is a story we will tell our grandchildren someday...

  • @BuzzDepartment
    @BuzzDepartment 5 років тому +73

    Burger King CEO wiped the sweat off his brow after 9:17

    • @CapybaraEnthusiast882
      @CapybaraEnthusiast882 5 років тому +1

      RWD3 The king broke into his house at 3 am and dropped the sweat off his forehead with a glistening whopper.

  • @lucyhtml
    @lucyhtml 5 років тому +1345

    the only "storytime" youtube video i will ever watch

    • @nathicxd
      @nathicxd 5 років тому +10

      JedDraws It’s truly amazing

    • @lucyhtml
      @lucyhtml 5 років тому +2

      @@nathicxd 😎😎
      😎

    • @darkorys8012
      @darkorys8012 5 років тому +6

      I mean it's comical AF

    • @JoeBlow_4
      @JoeBlow_4 5 років тому +5

      John is at a different level.

    • @COJ.Island
      @COJ.Island 5 років тому +1

      Hmmm ... ✌💚☕

  • @CRami90962
    @CRami90962 5 років тому +212

    Only you, reviewbrah, can turn a meaningless trip to BK into a edge of your seat, thrill ride of whimsical commentary about a place that has, overall, lost its charm. 😁👍😉

    • @slimetime4668
      @slimetime4668 5 років тому +7

      CRami90962 and all in one take

  • @marisa8235
    @marisa8235 5 років тому +1068

    You're the burger king

  • @Jules-dx3nu
    @Jules-dx3nu 5 років тому +112

    This is the perfect explanation to someone of what actually having anxiety in public is like.

  • @Ciryasil
    @Ciryasil 5 років тому +53

    Genuinely one of the best stories you've put out in a while. 10/10

  • @Cxrinae
    @Cxrinae 5 років тому +95

    The only man on the planet with the ability to make a trip to Burger King sound like a thriller novel

  • @andyappleton3353
    @andyappleton3353 5 років тому +20

    I'm inspired by his brevity. Only 1 in a million people would have braved the bitter, freezing cold like he did. Most of us are frightened to try anything new for our own sake. But this man didn't do it for himself. He did it for you. He did it for me. He did it for us. He did it for equality. He did it for justice. He did it for heroics. He did it for humanity. He did it for those who have come before and for those who will come after. Selflessness is often spoken about but rarely acted upon. This man didn't just get upset. He did something about it. I want to thank him for his courage. Let us all give thanks. And remember to donate to wikipedia this month.

  • @TheAdventurousHermits
    @TheAdventurousHermits 5 років тому +335

    I almost didn't believe this story but then I read the title and knew he would never tell a lie.

    • @ARC1300
      @ARC1300 5 років тому +9

      is this guy like the fucking mr rogers of youtube. I love him lol

    • @bryanmorris1350
      @bryanmorris1350 5 років тому +1

      XD

    • @llTllOllBllYll
      @llTllOllBllYll 5 років тому +1

      Wow nice eyes

  • @zalinuxdev7817
    @zalinuxdev7817 5 років тому +50

    Only this dude can make an interesting story out of going to a takeaway.

  • @miamiheat33162
    @miamiheat33162 5 років тому +127

    A whopper of a tale. You are the king of burger anecdotes. 🍔

  • @antroidi7283
    @antroidi7283 5 років тому +23

    It's a good thing that you added that "true story" in the title cause otherwise I wouldn't believed that you had a Whopper!

  • @childofnature4402
    @childofnature4402 5 років тому +73

    Have they called you about hosting the Oscars yet?
    "Hello everyone, this is Running On Empty, Film review!"

    • @annegeeraerts1669
      @annegeeraerts1669 5 років тому +3

      Maybe they can get him to host the Oscars!

    • @michailsangiacomo515
      @michailsangiacomo515 5 років тому +4

      Maybe they can get him to host the oscars!

    • @goldvegeta2715
      @goldvegeta2715 5 років тому +2

      Maybe they can get him to host the oscars!

    • @willtrautman6243
      @willtrautman6243 5 років тому +1

      Hes too good for them
      Maybe they can get him to host the oscars!

    • @harmanks7910
      @harmanks7910 5 років тому +1

      Mabye they can get him to bost the oscars!

  • @wwubwtndyoutube6027
    @wwubwtndyoutube6027 5 років тому +33

    Actual. Madlad.

  • @RTLife
    @RTLife 5 років тому +405

    I never know if he is being serious or joking! The story of him fighting to get to BK is outstanding though

    • @tommy2buttz668
      @tommy2buttz668 5 років тому +11

      He had me with ' the pickle is sliding out'

    • @JP-ox3yx
      @JP-ox3yx 5 років тому

      R/T Life

    • @bg147
      @bg147 5 років тому +4

      Sir, that is his genius.

    • @ecarlos2527
      @ecarlos2527 5 років тому

      well he lives in a warm area if you watch his videos

    • @chadretrofilms7824
      @chadretrofilms7824 5 років тому +3

      Is there one video on the internet where he breaks character? Is he more woke than the rest of us? Did this gentlemen hop in a time machine in 1940, and we're all living in his future? The world may never know.

  • @fleshmincer140
    @fleshmincer140 5 років тому +8

    This is like my inner monologue when I try to do something out of my comfort zone and I’m fighting with my anxiety, such as going to Burger King.

  • @sn0lder
    @sn0lder 5 років тому +76

    The hero we need, but not the one we deserve

  • @insaneasylum7898
    @insaneasylum7898 3 роки тому +6

    After 5 minutes of listening to this story I realized I have never been so determined to hear the outcome of a story about Burger King. We need audio books of this. You are great at telling stories.

  • @cade997
    @cade997 5 років тому +67

    "Hold yourself together, lad"-Absolute MadLad, 2018

  • @ConstanceFredericka
    @ConstanceFredericka 5 років тому +308

    For 10 minutes & 31 seconds of my day I felt happier ... ReviewBrah has eased some of my depression, thanks💜

    • @darklord3861
      @darklord3861 5 років тому +22

      Everyone is depressed these days... Jesus...

    • @gladiator_games
      @gladiator_games 5 років тому +4

      Your cute 💘🙂

    • @mintycookieseries7136
      @mintycookieseries7136 5 років тому +11

      He has a way of making things seem like it will all be okay.

    • @jakeplummer3362
      @jakeplummer3362 5 років тому +2

      What about the other 1 second?

    • @LN-lr4rg
      @LN-lr4rg 5 років тому

      You really want a good night's sleep put this fella's playlist on for background noise. His voice is like a comfy blanket, no joke. Nite nite!

  • @JustinY.
    @JustinY. 5 років тому +236

    Nothing can stop Reviewbrah from eating a meal. Not blizzards, not snowstorms, not even a speeding car. Reviewbrah is immortal. He is the ultimate food reviewer, as every meal he reviews becomes blessed by his glorious touch.

    • @afro4640
      @afro4640 5 років тому +2

      Justin Y. All hail, Reviewbrah.

    • @Ramesh_002
      @Ramesh_002 5 років тому +1

      You're everywhere dude lol

    • @ravagethelegend6217
      @ravagethelegend6217 5 років тому +24

      You're a parasite, Justin. You dont even watch the content. You just hop from video to video hoping this infamy lands you relevancy in real life.

    • @scraps4728
      @scraps4728 5 років тому +1

      Amen

    • @theblackreaper4395
      @theblackreaper4395 5 років тому +1

      Neither can anything stop you from being at like every video on UA-cam

  • @JoeyHeppler
    @JoeyHeppler 5 років тому +2

    This is gold😂😂 I’ve never heard a more epic and interesting story about an ordinary trip to bk in my life lmfao

  • @raccoononymous
    @raccoononymous 5 років тому +291

    Take notes, Hollywood. This is how you tell a story.

  • @zylpai
    @zylpai 5 років тому +15

    Wow, Thank you for telling us this story. It was super engaging. I was on the edge of my seat when it got to the ketchup packets part. Is he going to get some packets? Is he not? I DON'T KNOW. So I watched and listened. It was absolutely brilliant. My favorite part was when you left the Burger King victorious. I love happy endings in stories, and I am super glad that's how it ended. I remember once when I went to Burger King for the same reasons as you! I entered the establishment, and order a chicken nugget meal. I walked to a booth that was gleaming from the florescent light above. It was as if the booth was calling my name. When I saw the booth, I nearly teared up from pure aw. I remember when I sat down at that booth, I felt a gust of unexpected cold air. Then suddenly I saw him. He sat in the seat across from me in my booth. It was God himself. I sat in disbelief. Tears riding down my face at a rapid pace. I felt like I saw my dead brother without it actually being him. At that point, god started to tell me that I am the one. The one that is supposed to save everything. As he continues to talk to me, I feel an uncontrollable force, forcing me to fall asleep. I'm out. Out cold. In front of God. After a few minutes I hear a voice.
    " Wake up! Wake up!" said a voice that seemed vaguely familiar.
    "Huh? Where am I?" I said in a still discombobulated state. I get no response. I look around and realized that I was in my bed.
    "Hrmm, I guess it was just a dream." I thought. I got up and put on pajamas. As I walk to my door, I hear a faint crying. It sounded like a grown man. It was a vague genuine cry, but it also sounded like it was someone playing a joke.
    I opened my door and saw the chicken nuggets I order from my so called dream. I started to walk to my nuggets, then God walks out of the other room!
    "Hi Zac. So to continue what I was telling you. You are the one. You bought the magic nuggets that will be wielded to save the world." God proclaimed
    "Wait what? Magic Nuggets? Why..." as I asked God this, he grabbed the Magic Nuggets and put them in my hand. He told me that every single one of the nuggets have a purpose. He starts to point to individual nuggets. "This one is for curing all illnesses, This one is for curing poverty, This one is for ending all current and future wars, This one is for ending world hunger, and lastly this one is for ending all crimes."
    After God pointed out all of the Nuggets. He also said " All you would have to do is eat the nuggets." As he said that, I looked down at the nuggets. "I have the power to change the world." I said with a maniacal look in my eyes.
    "Yes you do Zac, all you have to do is eat them." God said with a rushing tone in his voice. "You have a limited time to eat the nuggets or they lose their magic! Hurry up and eat them so you can save this wretched planet. Eat them Zac" yelled God at a fast rate. As God was yelling at me, I looked around for the Honey Mustard sauce.
    "Uhh God, there's no sauce." I whimpered fearfully. In an instant God begins to yell. Loud. Fast. He gets louder every time he repeats the phrase "There's No Sauce!". He started to expand like a balloon. Bigger and bigger until eventually he bursts into flame. Screaming the same phrase repeatedly.
    Then it just... stops. Everything around me has froze in place, as if some one pause a movie. Except I was the only one that could move. The Nuggets were still in my hands at that point, until they just vanished. Then God vanished. Then everything around me vanished. I was in a completely white never ending void. To top it all off, there was complete silence. As if I was in an Anechoic Chamber.
    "Why didn't you just eat the nuggets?" asked a lone voice coming from some where I couldn't comprehend. "All you had to do was eat the dang Nuggets."
    "Chamber # 439 has failed the test." Came another distant voice. I suddenly feel something being taken off my head. I'm in a brown chair that looks like it was ripped from an old barber shop. I sat up and instantly started to feel woozy. "Where am I?" I asked before I started to hyperventilate. In an instant, I passed out. After what felt like a few minutes, I woke up in the same booth from earlier. This time God wasn't there. I sat up and saw that my nuggets were still there with Honey Mustard sauce. I felt blessed but confused about the whole situation that concurred.
    I brushed it off proclaiming it twas just a dream. I opened the dark yellow Honey Mustard and started to eat the succulent chicken nuggets, and I can report that those were the best chicken nuggets i have had to this day. After I ate the nuggets, I threw the garbage away and left the establishment. To this day, I don't understand what the true meaning the the "dream" was.

    • @zylpai
      @zylpai 5 років тому

      I love you ReviewBrah

    • @Sir_Catnip
      @Sir_Catnip 5 років тому

      @@zylpai what an absolutely fantastic comment.... 👍

    • @zylpai
      @zylpai 5 років тому

      @@Sir_Catnip Thank you!

    • @zerodaepix6839
      @zerodaepix6839 2 роки тому

      ITS CRIMINAL THAT THIS HAS ONLY 3 REPLYS AND 14 LIKES

  • @drew1427
    @drew1427 5 років тому +206

    You sure have the patience of a saint i cant go there they always get my order wrong at burgerking.

    • @eracli0
      @eracli0 5 років тому +5

      Drew142 same. Or I find a hair. OR BOTH.

    • @Jeremy_Hill_2020
      @Jeremy_Hill_2020 5 років тому +7

      They never do that to me when I order anything at BK

    • @banjobill8420
      @banjobill8420 5 років тому

      Nice pfp

    • @KlingonCaptain
      @KlingonCaptain 5 років тому +9

      Of the hundreds times I've eaten at Burger King, I don't thing they've ever gotten my order wrong. Even at Taco Bell, where I've eaten thousands of times, I can count all the times they've gotten it wrong on my hand.

    • @sergentharker7182
      @sergentharker7182 5 років тому +2

      Burger King, have it some way

  • @age3801
    @age3801 5 років тому +14

    King Arthur, Achilles, Ragnar Lodbrok, what's that? Nah this is a true legend living among us.

  • @SenhoritaLx
    @SenhoritaLx 5 років тому +112

    "and the Whopper was fighting back" holy shit

    • @DCM68W
      @DCM68W 5 років тому +1

      dangling onions ain't got shit on our boy

  • @GathererThompson
    @GathererThompson 5 років тому +3

    "No drink today. I wasn't feeling like going that far."
    Reminding me of a nice Hunter S. Thompson narration :)

  • @rydo728
    @rydo728 5 років тому +377

    SOMEONE CALL THE PRESIDENT

    • @AxxLAfriku
      @AxxLAfriku 5 років тому

      if having two hot girlfriends would make people president, i would be president

    • @ColdTiger
      @ColdTiger 5 років тому +16

      "MRS OBAMA GET DOWN!!!"

    • @noodlery7034
      @noodlery7034 5 років тому +5

      N-WORD

    • @bbseal6174
      @bbseal6174 5 років тому +4

      @@AxxLAfriku only one of them is your daughter.

    • @presidentofalltrolls8466
      @presidentofalltrolls8466 5 років тому

      Call me instead

  • @Baleur
    @Baleur 5 років тому +7

    0:00 to 1:00, this is exactly what my life felt like everytime i left the house 5 years back when i had extreme social anxiety and agoraphobia.. Even a trip to the store to buy milk had to be pre-planned, what i would say to the clerk, how i would enter the store, how i would react to any probable unexpected events. Sigh. So glad i'm not at that place anymore.

  • @oanes8447
    @oanes8447 5 років тому +129

    My brave prince, stories of your daring ventures will be remembered for centuries to come

  • @kstar2k
    @kstar2k 5 років тому +5

    ReviewBrah! We need a modern day Christmas Story by the fire.. this could have been that moment. Still amazing.. Keep it Up and Happy Holidays!!

  • @Nick_Jarrett
    @Nick_Jarrett 5 років тому +46

    or b: theyre waiting for me
    "get a seat and eat it too" good lord you were hungry

  • @thediesel387
    @thediesel387 5 років тому +2

    "I went to Burger King willingly."
    lol you're a wild man. I don't know how to summon up that level of courage.

  • @GurtGobain
    @GurtGobain 5 років тому +233

    As someone with social anxiety, this is literally what a simple trip to Burger King is like for me.

    • @user-tt2fh8nf1o
      @user-tt2fh8nf1o 5 років тому +14

      I can relate, thank God they invented Cars and Drive-Ins.

    • @yordlop
      @yordlop 5 років тому +16

      Review Brah has social anxiety too

    • @Dazz-252
      @Dazz-252 5 років тому +9

      Yarcofin same. Simple tasks become an event.

    • @Marcin-ic3zz
      @Marcin-ic3zz 5 років тому +5

      @@yordlop Gods don't have diseases like this

    • @Aliens_And_Pyramids_And_Shit
      @Aliens_And_Pyramids_And_Shit 5 років тому +1

      Same or a gas station to buy hot cheetos

  • @calendarpage
    @calendarpage 4 роки тому +1

    Oh my gosh. This is so funny. The part where you look up at the sign trying to figure out what to get is great. You look like one of those people John Pinette was talking about in his "Get out of the line" skits. I'm still smiling as I type this. Thanks for an unexpected treat.

  • @Hannalynn28
    @Hannalynn28 5 років тому +82

    Reviewbrah really took one for the team this time

    • @tommy2buttz668
      @tommy2buttz668 5 років тому

      He's currently on a saline drip IV for dehydration from exploding diarrhea.
      He's a God amongst mere mortals

    • @modus_operandi2508
      @modus_operandi2508 5 років тому

      God your beautiful hannalynn

  • @TheNarf11
    @TheNarf11 5 років тому +125

    **When someone asks how old are you**
    I dunno between 13 and 54

    • @USAReject
      @USAReject 5 років тому +5

      I wonder how many of his videos have this exact same comment on them.

  • @Slimothy
    @Slimothy 5 років тому +175

    This entire video to r/madlads

  • @Pickelhaube05
    @Pickelhaube05 5 років тому +1

    "The whopper was fighting back" THIS is where our story teller broke through the 4th wall... Eons of oral history of the spoken word comes rushing back. Subscribed... if I hit that Subscribe button any harder it would register on the richter scale.

  • @sarazapp936
    @sarazapp936 5 років тому +16

    Best screenplay of 2018. The suspense was killer. A true artist.

    • @Sir_Catnip
      @Sir_Catnip 5 років тому

      well said madam...well said

  • @SupaMexican3000
    @SupaMexican3000 5 років тому +4

    "Dealing with Social Anxiety: A Short Story"

  • @the.hinderwomann
    @the.hinderwomann 5 років тому +18

    The way he can keep a straight face is just...... inspiring. Bravo!

  • @pennyc7064
    @pennyc7064 Рік тому +1

    Wow, a Burger King story I never knew I needed. You're the best story teller in the universe, it kept me on the edge of my seat that's for sure! I was expecting that you were going to tell us they made a mistake with your order.

  • @MissChristine
    @MissChristine 5 років тому +117

    You are one fantastic storyteller.

  • @Lilly-eh9rx
    @Lilly-eh9rx 5 років тому +13

    I just sat here for 10 minutes listening to a man talk about getting a whopper at Burger King and remained entertained throughout the whole video

  • @VijiogFrito
    @VijiogFrito 5 років тому +47

    This is completely insane

    • @realone3962
      @realone3962 5 років тому +4

      But in the best way 😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @jamesdevine02
    @jamesdevine02 3 роки тому +2

    This tale would make for an immensely thrilling short film.

  • @imaairplane708
    @imaairplane708 5 років тому +66

    Last night I ate a McRib and got sauce on my jeans

  • @46and25
    @46and25 5 років тому

    Man I love your storytelling, I was around when you first started. Congrats 🎉 on over a million subscribers. I’m about to eat a whopper.

  • @JoeyPlaysGuitarJasso
    @JoeyPlaysGuitarJasso 5 років тому +14

    This channel is so pure. Keep doing you, reviewbrah!

  • @jamesdevine02
    @jamesdevine02 3 роки тому +2

    I would purchase ANY audiobook if it was read by this beautiful man. He is truly an adept storyteller.

  • @ignaciofranzese6665
    @ignaciofranzese6665 5 років тому +40

    You should get the nobel prize of peace

    • @starmoon1590
      @starmoon1590 5 років тому

      Ignacio Franzese🎆 🏆🎆

  • @GenevieveThornton
    @GenevieveThornton 5 років тому

    I love your humor and sarcasm! It’s perfect! Your channel is genuine and original.

  • @nigel0001
    @nigel0001 5 років тому +51

    You made a relatively incredibly boring story and told it like it was the last story you would ever tell anyone.

    • @ARC1300
      @ARC1300 5 років тому +2

      no lies was laughing my ass off, because this story was completely pointless. but in the way he told it, it was incredible. lol

  • @hihowsitgoing2867
    @hihowsitgoing2867 5 років тому +1

    Lmaooo I love this guy... “the chicken, it’s DUNKED!” “I did the unthinkable today... I went to Burger King” “my disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined”

  • @pgc2889
    @pgc2889 5 років тому +23

    Reviewbrah needs to narrate every holiday movie or story

  • @rosemarymcgrory-eb2gd
    @rosemarymcgrory-eb2gd Рік тому

    The mayo part of the story i literally spilled my drink everywhere ..I was laughing so hard .. Thereportoftheweek makes me laugh harder then I have ever laughed in my life love him

  • @kw0my827
    @kw0my827 5 років тому +111

    This needs to be on Audible!

  • @alien11able
    @alien11able 5 років тому +3

    I'll never look at burgers again the same way after hearing this report. Well done narration!!!

  • @tanyajohnson3241
    @tanyajohnson3241 5 років тому +9

    This was the most emotionally conflicted Burger King visit ever. Way to battle through review brah you are a brave man.👏🏻👏🏻

  • @AWWx2
    @AWWx2 5 років тому

    I really was on the edge of my chair watching and listening to this one. We really need to see the movie when it comes to a theater near us !! Just kidding, of course, but YOU DO have the best personality and discipline for storytelling and reviews. Love your channel, and happy Christmas season to you and your family in Florida from one frigid Canadian !

  • @sarahcrews2544
    @sarahcrews2544 5 років тому +12

    Jack London should have wrote a short story about this "To eat at Burger King"

  • @_knighted
    @_knighted 5 років тому +7

    This is poetry disguised as a vlog disguised as clickbait disguised as a food review
    edit: wait reviewbrah, you do use the apps for each restaurant, right?

  • @ihavetowait90daystochangem67
    @ihavetowait90daystochangem67 5 років тому +21

    Christmas came early guys

  • @JoeBlow_4
    @JoeBlow_4 5 років тому

    John is fucking brilliant. Makes my day. "it means one of two things....either it's just not a busy time or they were expecting me." spit out my beer

  • @theawsomegermankid45
    @theawsomegermankid45 5 років тому +16

    this shit is probably the funniest video I've seen from this dude so far

  • @sebaschanable
    @sebaschanable 5 років тому

    Definitely was on the edge of my seat! Great story telling! Always a pleasure to hear from you, sir!

  • @alexspsychedelicchannel2521
    @alexspsychedelicchannel2521 5 років тому +6

    His sarcasm is as rich as dark chocolate

  • @henry12371
    @henry12371 5 років тому

    “No drink today.. wasn’t feelin like, going that far” 😂

  • @jasonb2733
    @jasonb2733 5 років тому +7

    I've only seen a few of your vids...but this was just epic man...epic!

  • @Andrea-es3mu
    @Andrea-es3mu 5 років тому

    Spot on...it worked!... around Halloween I started tuning in...You R the man...keep doing what ur doing...
    I'm loving this cold Florida weather...have to appreciate it after our long hot Fall!...Floridafan..:)

  • @masterblassster
    @masterblassster 5 років тому +14

    Your Christmas tree looks crooked ReviewBrah! Feliz Navidad!

  • @schwartzybuisness
    @schwartzybuisness 5 років тому +21

    Am I the only one that thinks the Christmas tree looks slanted lol

    • @aggieaguilera4real
      @aggieaguilera4real 5 років тому +1

      Nothing is slanted in Review Bruh's world. One of your eyes is lower than the other.

    • @LiikeAralleyrace
      @LiikeAralleyrace 5 років тому

      @@aggieaguilera4real lmao

  • @han36solo
    @han36solo 5 років тому +10

    You are a brilliant improvisor. Happy holidays and please don't fail to eat your broccoli.

  • @henotic.essence
    @henotic.essence 5 років тому

    I demand merch of the KETCHUP PACKETS moment lmfao!!!! You're wild!

  • @sean262
    @sean262 5 років тому +11

    Merry Christmas, review brah!

  • @sarcasm-83
    @sarcasm-83 5 років тому +1

    As a Finnish person, it's so funny hearing him talking about braving the cold and ice, arctic winds of Florida and all that.

  • @oskarforsberggg
    @oskarforsberggg 5 років тому +21

    No kidding u actually had a *_W H O O P E R_*

    • @Margar02
      @Margar02 5 років тому

      Whooooooooper

  • @hutchstoxic8225
    @hutchstoxic8225 5 років тому

    I love this guy, he turns a story of him going to burger king into a highly detailed recount, with thoughts completely explained in detail.

  • @elgooblino
    @elgooblino 5 років тому +58

    You should write novels. I have a feeling you would be good at it

    • @7Mushrooms7
      @7Mushrooms7 5 років тому +9

      He writes short stories.

    • @Margar02
      @Margar02 5 років тому +1

      maybe he does :)

  • @kh-zv1rs
    @kh-zv1rs 5 років тому

    Reviewbrah, your channel is wonderful & wholesome and I truly enjoy every video of yours. Thank you for the great content.

  • @angelferrer1
    @angelferrer1 5 років тому +16

    i am scared right now

  • @RaphTheUnknown
    @RaphTheUnknown Рік тому

    This entire story resonates with me, holding yourself together in a public place is not easy. Such detailed explanations and imagery.

  • @hankhill1986
    @hankhill1986 5 років тому +62

    I watched this video by the fireplace smoking a Cuban cigar from Fidel Castro’s private stash and enjoying a nice glass of fine brandy. Life is good.

    • @boogityhoo7452
      @boogityhoo7452 5 років тому +14

      Fireplace?? You should be heating your house with a propane heater!!

    • @henry12371
      @henry12371 5 років тому +1

      Just leave the stove on

    • @Bassotronics
      @Bassotronics 5 років тому +1

      Boogity Hoo
      Remember that time the store blew up because of Buckley? I think Hank Hill is thinking twice about the propane.

    • @hankhill1986
      @hankhill1986 5 років тому +3

      Boogity Hoo I’m not that hank hill it’s just a name coincidence

    • @boogityhoo7452
      @boogityhoo7452 5 років тому

      @@hankhill1986That would be understandable but your pictureclooks just like him too. So are you stealing his identity??

  • @xprealone6360
    @xprealone6360 5 років тому +3

    Other UA-camrs tell scary stories and stuff. But this man, is a complete genius for making a comedy like story with food in it and he is the heroic person Braving the cold day and going to Burger King to get a whopper, WHAT A LEGEND. What a gentleman. Xd

  • @ketoking9435
    @ketoking9435 5 років тому +5

    Got very cold here in England today,,,,couldn't resist a McDonalds,,,wishing Report n the happy family,followers a happy Xmas,,,,

  • @SchmuckBoi
    @SchmuckBoi 5 років тому

    What an absolute goddamn hero. I give you all the "one clap makes a crowd clap" clapping sessions my dear LORD

  • @BradTheDCUniverseGeek
    @BradTheDCUniverseGeek 5 років тому +8

    Best story time ever!

  • @Randal2k.
    @Randal2k. 5 років тому

    My Son, he is 7, and I just watched this video. He loved the part about the mayo. My favorite part was the silent BK... "it's reviewbra... places everyone!" is what I imagined was said inside as you sat in the parking lot. well, thank you for the story, my Son and I look forward to the next one.