You can see the extra video on how we navigate technology here: facebook.com/watch/?v=1061269937613145 ...and thank you for watching, we are always so grateful for your support!!! - Dawn
@@andshesmiles6272 You are so right about Dawn being a great life coach - I feel like that’s exactly what I get from her videos, courses, groups, etc! She is the best investment ever when it comes to not just $, but more importantly my time & what I allow to go into my brain!
Pressure and judgement from other parents is no joke. I love the unsolicited comments i get when i say our kids aren’t on 3 different travel teams for multiple sports, that we don’t spend all our weekends traveling to far away games and we “only” do school sports. They look at me like it’s child abuse. I have no problem with families who do that, but not sure how that equates to my kids losing out on “important life skills”. I think a more important life skill would be living in a family that is not so constantly frazzled, over-extended, and burnt out from all the chaos. Thank you, Dawn, for emphasizing the importance of a simplified life.
My husband did travel baseball and played year round (no breaks), was in band, and choir, got good grades, and it stressed him out so much as a kid. When he was younger it's just what his parents had them do. He said he lived on the brink of constant stress all the time and be would never want our kids to do that! So I understand this!
Being raised by a maximisist mom who enrolled me in everything she could and enrolled me in so many 4-H projects. I used to hate and dread summers I envied my peers who didn't have that much on their plate. I'm loving my now minimalist life.
You mentioned children being and avoiding you being in constant motion. That happened to me in high school. No one forced me to but I played a musical instrument and was in my high school's orchestra, citywide orchestra, quartets, solo competition and lessons. Additionally, I was taking five classes for college credit my junior and senior yr. Saturday morning tried to catch up on sleep! As a parent we homeschooled and focused on individual talents ( skilled sewing, building computers from scratch, sculpture, painting, writing, music,and more). My children wanted to compete in these areas. They successfully did so but I was always concerned to avoid the overwhelm that can come with that. There are sports , music, art, and academic areas that will be rewarding but if you aren't watchful it can consume your spirit, and life leaving no time for rest, creative thought, or enjoyment of God's word or of loved ones.
I feel like even more casual leagues are being crowded out by the intensity. Even on our rec leagues, that’s the “off season” season for the kids on the travel teams. The kids who aren’t playing year round can’t keep up anymore.
Thank you. I feel like you just gave me permisson to not enroll in activity after activity. I've been pushing my 6 year old to pick something and I wasnt listening when she said she didn't want too. I'm going to listen and let her be.
we really went against the flow and refused to be "busy busy busy" parents by driving our kids to endless sports and activities during the week+weekend. we bought a holiday unit at the beach, so we couldn't do weekend sport, that solved that problem! and our kids LOVED going to the beach every weekend.
I call electronics, especially the phone, a pacifier . We use it when we’re tired , lonely , angry , bored , etc .Thing is that it numbs your emotions and doesn’t face them .
One little example we just experienced... I was going to sign up my daughter for a basketball summer camp and she said she just wanted to sleep in and rest. So we honored that. She’s an amazing little athlete and I want her to know I have her best interest in mind.... even though I sure wish she would’ve said yes 😂🤪
I love this! Great decision! When our boys were in summer baseball they made the All-Star league that played after the regular season. They told us they didn't want to play in it because they just wanted to be kids and not be on a schedule all the time. They were done playing for the Summer. We said okay and we don't regret it.
Good for you Dad and Mom! Mine rejected too much busyness too. Great to see parents on the same page and understanding you only get to be a child for a short time.
Dawn, thank you for doing a super job of giving a clear, concise foundation for better parenting! Pediatric anxiety and depression has never been higher than it is right now. So much of parenting has actually become about the parents and not the actual best mental, physical, and spiritual welfare of their children. Parenting is hard and can be confusing, but the basic framework you shared in this video is a foundation for healthier parenting. I am sharing this video😃.
Oh WOW😊 As a single Mom to two kids (more grown up now) I’m beyond GRATEFUL to hear this!! I set limits on their activities because I work Full-time & myself couldn’t manage more. I also insisted on family dinners around the table (not in the car or in front of the TV) & now am so glad I did. I’m so proud of my now 19 & 22 y.o. Kids who are responsible, compassionate, respectful & balanced in their approach to things. 💝
Dawn, thank you! You have made me appreciate my childhood so much more. As I listen to this video, I realize that what was truly missing wasn't the things my parents couldn't afford, it was the attitude...the words, the perspective. My parents, like many parents then, raised us with a "doing without", "doing the best we can", "making do" mentality. They absolutely did do their best. But because it was sometimes a struggle, the words they chose gave more power to lack than they intended. Children follow the lead of their parents in how they view their circumstances. You are raising your children with a "living with less" and "living our best" mentality. Shift in mindset! I'm going to flip that perspective for myself when I think of my childhood. I find that, more and more, I am grateful that my parents COULDN'T give us everything. Now when I say, "We didn't have a lot growing up" it will come with a sense of fullness and gratitude, not lack.
This is just what I needed today. I've been going through the house decluttering/simplifying room by room again and my kids notice. They gravitate towards the areas that have no clutter; they want to play or sit and read in those spaces. We have a happier home with less stuff and fewer distractions. Thank you for your amazing content 💗
As someone who has the education and experience to say this, I only wish that more parents would do the type of research you have done and approach parenting with the same intentionality as you do, Dawn. We as a society need to do more to protect childhood and the natural learning that takes place via authentic play.
Is funny how in this week I was like.... oh oh... "I need to do a Minimal Mom check on toys again"...and I started to think how simplifying has helped us and how having more inventory is now stressing us... this vid was a reminder that is a forever ongoing process that simply WORKS in so many aspects of our lives... Would love to see videos on parent's distractions...
This video was so validating! Our kids are 10, 8 &5 and they haven’t been in any organized sports aside from a kind of intro to basketball for my girls in school. My husband and I were in some sports when we were younger but we just haven’t felt the need to overwhelm our family with the rigorous athletic schedules. Our family thrives in downtime and a slower pace. We’re going to be homeschooling fully beginning in the fall and we couldn’t be more excited! Our kids are just as pumped as I am😄 I think setting some expectations for the kids with screens or what’s acceptable, going into summer especially, is so important. They don’t know what we want if we don’t verbalize it. I recently learned that. And I’ve also noticed when their moods escalate, I hug them and they melt into my arms. I’m not a physical touch on the love language scale, but I absolutely notice my kids are drawn to me like a magnet as soon as I rest my hand on their back or shoulder. It’s honestly precious. For my husband and I, we are doing a lot of the opposite of what we grew up with, and our families have noticed and complimented- which is pretty awesome ☺️
Just a caveat ...especially for foster, adopted children etc - touch can be a real trigger for abused children. It's kind of good to 'get their permission' first. But love the idea : )
@@brendamiller5785I totally agree! I even actually ask my kids if they’d like a hug when they’re getting upset- we try to establish boundaries and bodily autonomy with our kids🙂
Oh my goodness. I absolutely hated to be touched, hugged as a child. My mom didn't ask (or care) and would grab me and i would go as stiff as a board. I so hated it. PLEASE ask your child, especially any foster children.
@@sharonberg4817 I honestly think that’s why it isn’t what I gravitate toward. My mom still hugs almost violently haha but I noticed that my kids really reacted well to closeness, so I had to adjust my own self
I totally agree with the ideas in Simplicity Parenting. I just simplified my 2 year old’s toys tremendously yesterday. Today, we had one of the most enjoyable and peaceful days we have ever had. I’m also a mom who suffers from a rare chronic illness and am battling severe pain and fatigue and having less toys caused my son to play better and become a much happier kid. I’m also letting go of scheduling and planning activities. We’re living and it’s beautiful. I’m amazed.
This is such a rich, thoughtful video. Thinking back to my childhood, my mom was a homemaker and before he retired, my dad was a manufacturers representative with a multistage regional territory that required him to travel during the week. No matter what their jobs and duties were, what stands out strongly for me is that my parents instilled such a great sense of adventure in my twin brothers and me. It was never about stuff nor planned activities. It was always about encouraging our imaginations and confidence. We grew up believing that the world was a fascinating, welcoming place and it turned us into travelers and public-facing adults who loved learning and engaging with people. I thank my parents often for fostering the attitude of "yes" and staying enchanted with everything life brought us. I see that taking place in your own family indelibly and it brings me joy to witness it!
Love the part about attachment and helping our young ones regulate their emotions. Being present and engaged enough to put a simple hand on their back! Love the research content you bring to these movies.
This might be my favorite video ever on the subjects of minimizing and reducing toys. What resonates with me the most is that we don’t need all these extra things for stem and sensory toys. Being outside is sensory! Thank you for that!
@@phyllissweetpea4926 YES we learned at early age to never say you were bored or you got assigned a chore ...That brings back memories. Yep never say your bored!
Loved that book, Simplicity Parenting. I am a therapist and found what he said to be applicable to my clients as well. The challenge I face as a parent is my daughter is HIGHLY RESISTANT to my quarantining or removing toys- and she knows when I have removed or moved something. Sometimes she is willing to help clear out toys, but even then, it isn't much. I use that technique and also removing tiny amounts of unused toys at a time and gradually increasing the amount so she is realizing she really only plays with a few things regularly. It's also easier now that it's Summer and she's able to have more time and fun outside so she isn't as focused on her toys.
I have three young twenty somethings. We had stuff scheduled all the time, when they were younger, everyday, we often had to separate to handle events at opposite ends of town, my boys played on multiple baseball teams, my husband and I ran the league and coached. My daughter played softball, did show choir. Let me tell you if we could do it all again, we would cut it back. It was too much for them and us as a family. They wanted to do all these things but as parents, in hindsight, I feel we could have done a better job of putting boundaries in place. It is something to really think about. .
I appreciate your teachings for sure. I would say that as an educator, there are many students who need intentional sensory play in order to integrate the senses. Students on the autism spectrum or those who have sensory integration disorder need planned, intentional sensory play. Just as not all adults are the same, so it goes with children. I appreciate that you stay open and mention this in so many of your videos. Thank you for all you do!
As an adult, I still need down time and I try to avoid joining groups. I thought it was just my personality, because I've always been that way. Maybe I'm normal after all. 😂 I seriously would have been stressed to the point of needing therapy if my parents had put me in activities. I asked to be in Girl Scouts because my friend wanted me to be in it with her. My parents let me join. I did not enjoy it, but I didn't drop out. I didn't want to let my friend down and I didn't want to be a quitter. Plus, my parents had spent money getting me a uniform. Same with orchestra. I joined for a friend, didn't enjoy it, stuck it out for 4 years (even though the friend dropped out after the first meeting). A few years ago I finally learned to say 'no thank you' and save myself the stress. I don't cave to the pressure to join anymore. Kids don't always tell their parents when it's too much.
As a preschool teacher and owner all that you shared about playing and having less toys and things to distract them. I see how having too much can cause students anxiety. We use play as our method learning. Love your videos.
As a kid I spent long summer days and after school at my great grandmother’s house. She didn’t have a single toy or “planned activity”! I loved it there.
There is so much truth in this. & It started making me panic, but it's never too late to introduce new healthier habits. Thanks for these videos. They help me pull myself back in.
Great content! I found minimalism years ago, I got rid of the TV, mattresses, there have been studies that mattresses are actually not that great for our backs! But like I got sucked into peer pressure, as you mentioned. “You don’t have a television?! What about the kids” that comment made me feel guilty, and i ended up getting a tv among other things (haha). Now I am slowly finding my voice and my stand and no letting others tell me how to live or how to raise my kids. Thank you for sharing!
It's really true that you need to declutter toys, my child is feeling better with decluttering her toys. Less screen time makes her more confident in the open air. I am writing this on behalf of my daughter who is a fan of Dawn the minimal mom, we like to watch the videos together.👍👍😊😊
Yes! My grandparents had ZERO toys for me at their house, but I loved going there every weekend because for one, they were incredible people, and two, I was allowed to play with everything in their home (that was safe). My grandma's jewelry, my grandpa's organ, the vacuum, the 50 cent pieces, the candles. I could be imaginative and creative, and little brains and bodies need the freedom and space to do so. Now with my 20 month old son, I've noticed how much he appreciated having one or two toys out and around. He played with a wrapping paper tube a few days ago while we were in the basement which has many toys. The day before he played with an empty detergent bottle!
I needed this reminder today! I’m feeling the pressure to sign them up for all the camps and sports, but my kids don’t have to do those things. They thrive well playing at home and with friends. Thanks for sharing!
Such good words here. As a 25 year foster parent, I can attest to the fact that it is difficult to backtrack and retrain. But the benefits are so worthwhile. The ability to entertain yourself, to imagine, create and think quietly are quickly becoming lost arts. I also believe that if children are given a little work to do each day, they are then able to go play cheerfully by themselves or with siblings for greater periods of time than when they only play all day. This teaches delayed gratification, personal responsibility and gives the child a healthy sense of self pride because they learn are strong and capable, as well as an integral part of the family. This may be one of my favorite videos! Thank you.
This is an exceptional video, I have the advantage of hindsight. My adult children tell me that their happiest memories are family bike rides, all of us lined up on our king size bed and mom dad reading stories and doing all the voices, camping trips, nature walks, building stuff. They grew up with chores and responsibilities (age appropriate). We did not rush in to solve all their problems but taught them the mental tools they needed to work it out. They did not get everything they wanted and many of their toys were made by them or the family. They learned to solve problems, negotiate, communicate, be responsible. This helped them become successful, kind, honest, giving, confident adults. Dawn is giving her family the same gift. These are things that money can't buy. My granddaughter is in her last year of grad school while working full time and volunteering for a charity that she started helping when she was in junior high.
Seeing Dawn’s daughter hanging/climbing in the tree made me think of Sound of Music scene when the kids were all hanging out in the trees in their outfits made from drapery fabric, having the time of their life, and their father was in shock!😂🤪
I love this video! As we were minimalists before we became parents, by default our kids were forced into this world, but I hope that as they grow up they will find more benefits in it! For now I do love how I can tidy our whole small home in minutes and not hours and then we spend more family time together!!
I wish I had seen/heard this when raising my son 20 years ago. As the first grandson and great grandson on both sides he was showered/overwhelmed with "things" and I can definitely see, looking back, how it could have been easier for him to have had MUCH less.
One thing that I think will be great, when you begin to foster care other children and they come with almost nothing, they won't feel inferior to your family because they don't have what your kids have. It is going to be such a great example for them. We had a boy stay with us one Christmas from an orphanage. We met him through our church and he became a piece of our family for a while. He stayed Christmas with us a few years ago. We got our kids the same amount of gifts to him as our own children which was one gift. He ended up not even taking his gift with him. At first I thought maybe he didn't like it but the more I think about it, he wasn't after the present, he just wanted our time.
Great video! I wish that I had known about minimalism when my kids were small. They are 20, 22 and 25 now and we had a play room with a ton of toys. It was always cluttered and hard to manage. They were pretty creative and liked to play with their friends a lot. However, I definitely see some addiction behaviors now. Not with substance abuse, fortunately. It's more an issue of buying things on Amazon to fill a void. Two of them in particular seem to be chasing new hobbies (with a lot of stuff) to find happiness and then they move on to the next thing. The third child seems to have found minimalism intuitively, before I did, and she's much less attached to stuff and generally happier. Thanks for putting this great advice out there! Good luck to all the young parents, peer pressure is very real!
I know I’m watching a year late, but I feel this whole video deeply. The toys, clothes, abundance of just stuff drove me insane to the point where I just had to tell them what we were doing from now on. I let my kids help me with their clothes and toys and we organized together after we decluttered. Keepsakes have to fit in one tote we have for each child in our cellar. My kids are just now getting into activities but I’ll be doing the same thing with my kids with activities. I only did golf and figure skating but figure skating is such an intensive sport, I did have anxiety around it by the time I hit high school. I think the activities you let kids do needs to be factored in also. If your child says their activity is stressing them out, listen to them. I don’t believe in quitting, but after 10 years of competition skating I was ready to take a break and wasn’t allowed to. My home goals when we move is to have a fenced yard so they can “go outside and run”. We don’t have a safe front or back yard to let them run around yet.
I grew up on a lake, and that was our playground. We played sports with our neighbor's kids, didn't cost us a dime. We all brought balls and bats, football basketballs and played till time to eat or dark outside. Best childhood ever. Get back to this, and your kids will be happier, healthier and you will have more money in your savings. Your kids don't need costly programs to make them great kids.
Bravo, Dawn! As a mother of 6 and a grandmother of 15, I agree with everything you said. I am always cautioning my adult children about over-scheduling their children’s time. Kids need to get bored because that’s when they get creative. When my children came to me and said, “I don’t have anything to do,” I didn’t solve the issue for them. Within 5 minutes, they were off creatively playing, finding a friend or sibling to play with, reading a book, or taking a much needed nap.
Brilliant video! Thank you . I’m a single mum to 3 children 7,4 and nearly 2. I’m in the UK . I have been decluttering a huge amount but have more to do. I feel mine definitely have too much TV especially my 7 year old. He doesn’t play with anything really so I need to cut back his screen time and encourage him to play more . He loves being outside so now the weather is better that should help
Definitely do it, endure the complaining of boredom for a while but just don’t have the screen as an option. My brother and I grew up with NO tv in the house at all til age 12. I hated it as a kid, jealous of friends etc....now I’m so so grateful and I’m doing the same for my son who’s only 18months at the moment.
@@iceman3195 Thank you for your reply. Well done on doing the same for your son. It’s amazing what you appreciate only once you’ve grown up . I’m not sure I could do no tv but definitely a limit is needed
Thank you for this video! I am a grandmother of 6 so I passed along this video information to my 2 sons and daughter-in-laws....I sure wish I could have watched this back in the day with raising my sons. You talk so simply and easily to understand and comprehend without being condescending and judgmental. Thank you for the resource information! I love following you and your family. I have learned SO much and have downsized SO much since watching your videos. I have a long way to go but I am making progress!!
Thank you for really just being an affirmation that it's ok to not have my kids in all the activities. At this stage in life, we just want our kids (and for us as parents) to have a simple schedule and to have freedom.
Fantastic video. Thanks Dawn for proving we are not bad parents by not putting our children in sports and activities. My ex tried to use that against me in court last month. I was trying to make the option available to participate if the girls proved themselves by being responsible before taking on an activity. I needed to hear this.
I wish I could give this video 10 thumbs up. You have shared so much wisdom and it is so good to hear it. I have 3 children who are now (suddenly it seems) 16, 19 and 20. When they were small I limited toys to "sets" such as blocks, legos or the little wooden train sets. So instead of getting tons of different things they would get new pieces for their sets. It helped keep the chaos under control. But one thing I realized: all the books tell you all the things you need to do to develope your child's imagination when actually kids are born with great imaginations, it is our lifestyle that kills it! My kids played outside most of the time and didn't even have a swing set and I was always amazed at the creative games and adventures etc. they came up with. We also limited extracurricular activities. I told them they could have 2 extra commitments a week (as in youth group or weekly volleyball practice...) but not more. (And we didn't make exceptions for the "Christian" stuff; sometimes churches are the biggest culprits for over-scheduling.) They were free to decide what 2 things they wanted to invest their time in and otherwise their time was free. Anyhow, I could go on and on. I have appreciated this video so much, thank you. That adult peer pressure you mentioned is so real!
We just had my kid birthday this weekend. And us too decided to go for something special instead of a toy. So we rented a bouncing house with charaters he likes (ninja turtles). He was so happy when they came to install it in our backyard. His face was worth a thousand bucks. He was sad that the castle needed to leave thought.
For us we have not started sports until 7th grade. Although our 5th child started in 5th but it was only 2 days a week. It has been great for them to have an easier schedule through the elementary years and not have the stress of competition.
Dawn, I BELIEVE everything you are talking about! PTSD is real and I had that when I was small. I was so stressed to be perfect, my childhood flew by and there was not much structure. ❤️
When our oldest now 24, was young he had received a Nintendo DS for a 7th bday gift. Dad and I kept the charger. He had the option to have a limited # of screen time minutes each day, but also knew we only charged it on dad's paydays. So he quickly learned to budget his playing time over each 2 weeks between charges. He would ask if we have anywhere to go where he may have to be in a waiting room, like dentist, etc and would often save screen minutes up for that time slot.
I want to thank you so much for being you and helping me simplify in so many areas in life. I am so thankful that I found you. I am not on any social media other than these you tube videos that I watch. I did go to Facebook just to watch your video on technology because I have such respect for you and how you are trying to help people just like me. Thank you for ALL that you! I love all of your videos with Tom and Diana. They are all so helpful. You are changing my life!
I don't have kids nor do I want to have them in the future, but still I agree very much with the concepts you brought up in this video. I remember that the best time in my childhood was downtime. The most creative activities I did were the ones I engaged in when I felt bored. I didn't need lots of toys or screentime to be happy. I just needed time to let my imagination roam free and the company of other kids. Also I don't think it's nice to choose an activity for your kids based only on what you think would be fun/acceptable/beneficial. They are the ones who choose what they like to do and what activity makes them feel the most talented and confident.
These are my points about school when it comes to overwhelming amount of school work in one day. Also learning big kids stuff. My first grade twin boys have been doing distance learning this year so I have really seen all of it. Even I get overwhelmed with the amount of work. It is a big frustration of mine and I don’t know where to turn to express my thoughts on this. I have been reading “Boys Should Be Boys” it is awesome.
Your comment really resonated. I think that Dawn’s comment about peer pressure applies to education too. I asked a lot of similar questions - then I realised that, just as I have choices when it comes to parenting, I have choices in the way my children are educated. It took at lot of ‘swimming against the current’. I negotiated ‘no homework’ with some very understanding teachers, I would ask if we could present projects creatively to cater for my children’s interests, and I volunteered hours at the school to navigate administrative systems. But in the end we chose to educate at home and it’s been the best decision we’ve made as a family! Might be worth a little exploration? No pressure of course!
My sons are now 18 and 20 and your message today was affirming of my choices when they were younger. We basically only bought toys as gifts on their birthday or Christmas but we’re careful on how much we bought. Birthday parties were kids playing in the backyard with their imaginations with food and cake being served. Moms would come over for coffee and play dates and were concerned when I didn’t have a “planned activity” for the kids. Even before the minimalist movement was a thing I intuitively felt that less was more with my sons. Kids were in two extra curricular activities each at the most and not even all the time. I saw other families bursting at the seams with toys and kid stuff and just couldn’t go there. We were not minimalists (still striving to get there) but certainly more minimalish than most parents 20 years ago.
Great video! I am a grandparent and retired teacher and that is how my children were raised! My children are around the same age as you and a television was the only screen around then and we didn’t have one for eight years! By choice! People thought we were crazy but our three children played for hours on end together and creatively with their toys and each other! My grandchildren range in age from 2 to 18. They do have screens with limited viewing times and their parents make sure they have plenty of outdoor time and activity...the park playground for the little one and family hikes etc for the bigger ones! It is definitely the way to bring up kids!
We have always tried to minimize the number of activities and things we had to do on weekends. Coming out of COVID we found ourselves just wanting to get our kiddo back out into the world and ended up in two sports that had multiple nights and days of practice. It lasted about three months and one day my son said "Mom, I'm just tired of always having to do something". We had a family meeting that night and decided that we would go back to our original house rule...one activity at a time and no practices on Saturdays. It's been a good reminder that our family functions best when we keep it simple!
I put my phone in time out. And I have a phone zone so my kids know mom is answering a message and it’s not an all day thing, it can be a pain to me to have to move and put myself in a discipline mode with phones and screens. We put a screen time limit for our kids we need to help ourselves by doing a few things also to do the same. Thanks Dawn’ always love the content
Loved this and I so agree that kids need simplicity! The proof is there. Kids thrive with simple schedules and lots of down time to use their brains. It does get harder when they reach high school with all the activities and phones, but with a good foundation they usually do just fine.
as someone who felt the pressure of expectations in every aspect of my childhood, i couldn't agree more. i'm hoping on applying these concepts to my own parenting style in the future.
I just went through my sons toys! Saved what was too young for our next and what I felt was too old for him right now (basically anything that was frustrating him) and its SO much easier to keep clean!! Plus it's all his favorite toys so his key items havent changed at all.
I really liked this message, but with one exception. While mentioning various activities I think you mentioned the Girl Scouts. I really think that the Girl Scouts is one activity that may be worth carving extra time for. My three daughters who are now adults participated in Girl Scouts and it was really a great experience for them, they really enjoyed selling the cookies, and also earning badges. Usually scouting is just once a week and sometimes it is every two weeks, so I think the benefits from Girl Scouts is really worth the time commitment.
I walk my 4yr old to school. I avoid using a car as much as possible. It's only a 15min walk yet the amazement of those parents is rediculous. Exercise is important. And it's simplified my life.
I understand that adult peer pressure so much. And hearing you say it makes me feel so NOT crazy you don’t even understand. So many instances of pressure to put my kids in sports or public school down the street or whatever and now the school year coming up and I’m looking at that 7:45-3:30 schedule for my 5 year old thinking “man that’s a long day for a kid but it just must be in my head..” and just hearing you say this has really just.. helped. So thank you.
I was not comfortable with a single baby box for each kid. So I've decided on having 3. (1) A baby box for things that were sentimental before they even knew it. (2) An elementary box for things that both they and I feel were sentimental. (3) A Jr/Senior box for things they feel are sentimental. This seems manageable for both me and my children. It also doesn't cause them to make a decision prematurely. Perhaps you have this as well. But I'd hate to be a senior in HS and have to decide between a special school project and a baby box item. This week we are moving to 5 outfits! I'm so ready!
Great video! My kids are all grown but we never let them pick more than one activity and we encouraged outdoor play instead of TV or electronic games. Thank you for the book recommendation as I believe it will be a great gift I can share with young mothers!
So with our two year old,we have taught her from the beginning to take a deep breath when she's having a hard time. My husband and I model this as well when we are having a hard time. We had a tv and we noticed that she was a mess even with an hour of watching tv. So we sold the tv and don't allow her to watch anything except for one day one movie a week. We noticed she was self regulating and taking deep breaths more so after we got rid of the tv than before.
We've set a rule that there is only one activity at a time, with the pandemic we haven't done anything for quite a while, so my daughter picked middle school soccer for the upcoming year. My son is 5 and hasn't shown interested in anything specific yet. He's content with helping daddy around the house and mud 🤣 we created a chore list that includes reading prior to getting screen time and it has really made a difference!
My kids are young adults now but when they were younger I set a rule around extra curricular activities. They could do swimming lessons (which I consider a life skill) and one other activity at a time. This led my daughter to have to chose between dance, gymnastics, Girl Guides (Girl Scouts) etc. She could do only one, not everything. Because I had two kids, one boy, one girl I knew that activities could easily get out of hand. As a Canadian mom of a boy I got a lot of pressure from people to sign him up for hockey since the age of 3! Which I felt was ridiculous. At about five he did two winters of skating lessons with his sister and that was it. He had no real interest in hockey and boy am I glad I did not bow to the pressure. It's expensive and time consuming. I think some families see it as a status symbol than something to enrich their kids' lives.
We have a hockey family. (I married a hockey fan.). Our son played 4 years and wanted to try an activity that took place at the same time as a hockey practice, so he chose the new activity. Several years later and he misses hockey but more so just being on the ice. He actually switched to figure skating which he would have never tried had he not chosen to try that non-ice activity that took him away from hockey. (I put him in CanSkate the year he wasn't in hockey.). He figure skated for several years before deciding to try an activity that takes place at the same time as skating lessons. Our daughter has been figure skating since 3 and playing hockey since 5. She misses both but will probably choose one or the other when she returns to sport. We took a break as a family from all activities through Covid. It was quite different to say no to hockey in the fall but we didn't miss much of a season. My kids will never be elite athletes at what they choose to pursue because we just don't have access to the skill development for that level so we have taught them to enjoy the sports they choose for their own personal achievements and success. We are looking forward to returning to sport but it will be that much easier to say no to additional activities because they sure have learned to enjoy their down-time and sleeping in over the past year and a half. 😆
Thank you for talking about the importance of "play" and letting kids be kids. Mine are both grown now, but I refused to overschedule them when they were young. Although it was partly due to being a single parent with not enough money or time, I have always believed kids need to be able to just swing on the swings, play hide and seek, spin around till they get dizzy, lay in the grass and find pictures in the clouds. Their days of innocence end much too soon and it makes me sad when I see the schedules many kids and families try to juggle now.
Been loving your videos. Starting to declutter, one room at a time. Don't have kids at home or a husband that doesn't mind picking up. I have all the time in the world. Going to get the minimal lifestyle.
My oldest asked me recently to help them get rid of some toys recently because cleaning up was too difficult. I felt awful, but we are slowly culling the toys & the relief has been obvious. I really thought we had few enough - one ikea storage bin set up - but less is more!
Growing Up We did not own a TV I came out an A OK Adult We went to Carson City Nevada Movie 🏠 House once in a while. I remember $1.75 50 cents for kids 25 cents popcorn I Loved Gone With the Wind 1966 was so special.
This is an awesome videos for many parents. I only have one teenager left at home. There’s so many parents over-scheduling their kids here in the OC, including my sister.
Really great video. We have a 6-month-old and I'm trying to embrace minimalism in his upbringing. I'm already struggling with the multiple gifts of toys and clothes every time a grandparent visits and the guilt of putting some of them directly in a pile to donate to the op shop. Hopefully the gifts ease off as he gets older!
Thank you for the book recommendation! How do we simplify our kids childhood? We try to focus on only the truly important things. We do sports as a family - skiing, biking etc so that we aren’t pulled 6 different ways everyday. We also simplified clothing etc in our home and love it - thanks for your help on that one!
You can see the extra video on how we navigate technology here: facebook.com/watch/?v=1061269937613145 ...and thank you for watching, we are always so grateful for your support!!! - Dawn
I am so glad you are talking about kids! My Early Childhood Ed heart and minimalist heart is singing with joy today! 😘
Dawn, you would be a great at being a "life coach."
@@andshesmiles6272 that’s very kind of you, thank you!! 🥰
Well stated! Excellent video! You go, Dawn!
@@andshesmiles6272 You are so right about Dawn being a great life coach - I feel like that’s exactly what I get from her videos, courses, groups, etc! She is the best investment ever when it comes to not just $, but more importantly my time & what I allow to go into my brain!
Pressure and judgement from other parents is no joke. I love the unsolicited comments i get when i say our kids aren’t on 3 different travel teams for multiple sports, that we don’t spend all our weekends traveling to far away games and we “only” do school sports. They look at me like it’s child abuse. I have no problem with families who do that, but not sure how that equates to my kids losing out on “important life skills”. I think a more important life skill would be living in a family that is not so constantly frazzled, over-extended, and burnt out from all the chaos. Thank you, Dawn, for emphasizing the importance of a simplified life.
My husband did travel baseball and played year round (no breaks), was in band, and choir, got good grades, and it stressed him out so much as a kid. When he was younger it's just what his parents had them do. He said he lived on the brink of constant stress all the time and be would never want our kids to do that! So I understand this!
Being raised by a maximisist mom who enrolled me in everything she could and enrolled me in so many 4-H projects. I used to hate and dread summers I envied my peers who didn't have that much on their plate. I'm loving my now minimalist life.
You mentioned children being and avoiding you being in constant motion. That happened to me in high school. No one forced me to but I played a musical instrument and was in my high school's orchestra, citywide orchestra, quartets, solo competition and lessons. Additionally, I was taking five classes for college credit my junior and senior yr. Saturday morning tried to catch up on sleep! As a parent we homeschooled and focused on individual talents ( skilled sewing, building computers from scratch, sculpture, painting, writing, music,and more). My children wanted to compete in these areas. They successfully did so but I was always concerned to avoid the overwhelm that can come with that. There are sports , music, art, and academic areas that will be rewarding but if you aren't
watchful it can consume your spirit, and life leaving no time for rest, creative thought, or enjoyment of God's word or of loved ones.
Currently reading "Free-range kids" by Lenore Skenazy, highly recommend! She talks about extracurricular activities
I feel like even more casual leagues are being crowded out by the intensity. Even on our rec leagues, that’s the “off season” season for the kids on the travel teams. The kids who aren’t playing year round can’t keep up anymore.
Parents need to put down THEIR phone while with the kids.
Yes we do!!!
@@Katy_living_simply Yes!
so true!
Amen! I've taken to complimenting those young moms who are NOT on their phones while out with their babies.
Yes!!
Thank you. I feel like you just gave me permisson to not enroll in activity after activity. I've been pushing my 6 year old to pick something and I wasnt listening when she said she didn't want too. I'm going to listen and let her be.
we really went against the flow and refused to be "busy busy busy" parents by driving our kids to endless sports and activities during the week+weekend. we bought a holiday unit at the beach, so we couldn't do weekend sport, that solved that problem! and our kids LOVED going to the beach every weekend.
I call electronics, especially the phone, a pacifier . We use it when we’re tired , lonely , angry , bored , etc .Thing is that it numbs your emotions and doesn’t face them .
One little example we just experienced... I was going to sign up my daughter for a basketball summer camp and she said she just wanted to sleep in and rest. So we honored that. She’s an amazing little athlete and I want her to know I have her best interest in mind.... even though I sure wish she would’ve said yes 😂🤪
I love this! Great decision! When our boys were in summer baseball they made the All-Star league that played after the regular season. They told us they didn't want to play in it because they just wanted to be kids and not be on a schedule all the time. They were done playing for the Summer. We said okay and we don't regret it.
Good for you Dad and Mom! Mine rejected too much busyness too. Great to see parents on the same page and understanding you only get to be a child for a short time.
Dawn, thank you for doing a super job of giving a clear, concise foundation for better parenting!
Pediatric anxiety and depression has never been higher than it is right now. So much of parenting has actually become about the parents and not the actual best mental, physical, and spiritual welfare of their children. Parenting is hard and can be confusing, but the basic framework you shared in this video is a foundation for healthier parenting. I am sharing this video😃.
Thank you so much Paulita, this really means alot!
Oh WOW😊 As a single Mom to two kids (more grown up now) I’m beyond GRATEFUL to hear this!! I set limits on their activities because I work Full-time & myself couldn’t manage more. I also insisted on family dinners around the table (not in the car or in front of the TV) & now am so glad I did. I’m so proud of my now 19 & 22 y.o. Kids who are responsible, compassionate, respectful & balanced in their approach to things. 💝
Dawn, thank you! You have made me appreciate my childhood so much more. As I listen to this video, I realize that what was truly missing wasn't the things my parents couldn't afford, it was the attitude...the words, the perspective. My parents, like many parents then, raised us with a "doing without", "doing the best we can", "making do" mentality. They absolutely did do their best. But because it was sometimes a struggle, the words they chose gave more power to lack than they intended. Children follow the lead of their parents in how they view their circumstances. You are raising your children with a "living with less" and "living our best" mentality. Shift in mindset! I'm going to flip that perspective for myself when I think of my childhood. I find that, more and more, I am grateful that my parents COULDN'T give us everything. Now when I say, "We didn't have a lot growing up" it will come with a sense of fullness and gratitude, not lack.
This is just what I needed today. I've been going through the house decluttering/simplifying room by room again and my kids notice. They gravitate towards the areas that have no clutter; they want to play or sit and read in those spaces. We have a happier home with less stuff and fewer distractions. Thank you for your amazing content 💗
Well Done on getting this far. Congratulations on your new found freedom.
As someone who has the education and experience to say this, I only wish that more parents would do the type of research you have done and approach parenting with the same intentionality as you do, Dawn. We as a society need to do more to protect childhood and the natural learning that takes place via authentic play.
Is funny how in this week I was like.... oh oh... "I need to do a Minimal Mom check on toys again"...and I started to think how simplifying has helped us and how having more inventory is now stressing us... this vid was a reminder that is a forever ongoing process that simply WORKS in so many aspects of our lives... Would love to see videos on parent's distractions...
This video was so validating! Our kids are 10, 8 &5 and they haven’t been in any organized sports aside from a kind of intro to basketball for my girls in school. My husband and I were in some sports when we were younger but we just haven’t felt the need to overwhelm our family with the rigorous athletic schedules. Our family thrives in downtime and a slower pace. We’re going to be homeschooling fully beginning in the fall and we couldn’t be more excited! Our kids are just as pumped as I am😄 I think setting some expectations for the kids with screens or what’s acceptable, going into summer especially, is so important. They don’t know what we want if we don’t verbalize it. I recently learned that. And I’ve also noticed when their moods escalate, I hug them and they melt into my arms. I’m not a physical touch on the love language scale, but I absolutely notice my kids are drawn to me like a magnet as soon as I rest my hand on their back or shoulder. It’s honestly precious. For my husband and I, we are doing a lot of the opposite of what we grew up with, and our families have noticed and complimented- which is pretty awesome ☺️
Thank you for sharing this.
It's amazing how physical touch is like instant therapy for kids.
Just a caveat ...especially for foster, adopted children etc - touch can be a real trigger for abused children. It's kind of good to 'get their permission' first.
But love the idea : )
@@brendamiller5785I totally agree! I even actually ask my kids if they’d like a hug when they’re getting upset- we try to establish boundaries and bodily autonomy with our kids🙂
Oh my goodness. I absolutely hated to be touched, hugged as a child. My mom didn't ask (or care) and would grab me and i would go as stiff as a board. I so hated it. PLEASE ask your child, especially any foster children.
@@sharonberg4817 I honestly think that’s why it isn’t what I gravitate toward. My mom still hugs almost violently haha but I noticed that my kids really reacted well to closeness, so I had to adjust my own self
I would love to hear about how you approach homeschooling with simplicity.
Yes!
I totally agree with the ideas in Simplicity Parenting. I just simplified my 2 year old’s toys tremendously yesterday. Today, we had one of the most enjoyable and peaceful days we have ever had. I’m also a mom who suffers from a rare chronic illness and am battling severe pain and fatigue and having less toys caused my son to play better and become a much happier kid. I’m also letting go of scheduling and planning activities. We’re living and it’s beautiful. I’m amazed.
This is such a rich, thoughtful video. Thinking back to my childhood, my mom was a homemaker and before he retired, my dad was a manufacturers representative with a multistage regional territory that required him to travel during the week. No matter what their jobs and duties were, what stands out strongly for me is that my parents instilled such a great sense of adventure in my twin brothers and me. It was never about stuff nor planned activities. It was always about encouraging our imaginations and confidence. We grew up believing that the world was a fascinating, welcoming place and it turned us into travelers and public-facing adults who loved learning and engaging with people. I thank my parents often for fostering the attitude of "yes" and staying enchanted with everything life brought us. I see that taking place in your own family indelibly and it brings me joy to witness it!
Love the part about attachment and helping our young ones regulate their emotions. Being present and engaged enough to put a simple hand on their back! Love the research content you bring to these movies.
This might be my favorite video ever on the subjects of minimizing and reducing toys. What resonates with me the most is that we don’t need all these extra things for stem and sensory toys. Being outside is sensory! Thank you for that!
Yes! The best and inventive things came out if my kids after saying "I'm bored"!
When my kids said “I’m bored “. My answer was a chore to be done. Wash dishes. Sweep the floor etc. They learned real quick not to be bored.
@@phyllissweetpea4926 YES we learned at early age to never say you were bored or you got assigned a chore ...That brings back memories. Yep never say your bored!
@@pameehanson3866 never say you're* bored. 😊
Loved that book, Simplicity Parenting. I am a therapist and found what he said to be applicable to my clients as well. The challenge I face as a parent is my daughter is HIGHLY RESISTANT to my quarantining or removing toys- and she knows when I have removed or moved something. Sometimes she is willing to help clear out toys, but even then, it isn't much. I use that technique and also removing tiny amounts of unused toys at a time and gradually increasing the amount so she is realizing she really only plays with a few things regularly. It's also easier now that it's Summer and she's able to have more time and fun outside so she isn't as focused on her toys.
I have three young twenty somethings. We had stuff scheduled all the time, when they were younger, everyday, we often had to separate to handle events at opposite ends of town, my boys played on multiple baseball teams, my husband and I ran the league and coached. My daughter played softball, did show choir. Let me tell you if we could do it all again, we would cut it back. It was too much for them and us as a family. They wanted to do all these things but as parents, in hindsight, I feel we could have done a better job of putting boundaries in place. It is something to really think about.
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Such good words! As a homeschool mom, I would love to know more about your homeschooling journey and how you simplify that area of your life.
Yes! That would be awesome.
Yes please!
I appreciate your teachings for sure. I would say that as an educator, there are many students who need intentional sensory play in order to integrate the senses. Students on the autism spectrum or those who have sensory integration disorder need planned, intentional sensory play. Just as not all adults are the same, so it goes with children. I appreciate that you stay open and mention this in so many of your videos. Thank you for all you do!
Yes and Amen! This video is spot on! I hate the pressure we feel as parents to have our kids do “all the things”, running them ragged!
My favorite thing to play with as a child was a good old fashioned card board box. I made my own doll house and furniture.
As an adult, I still need down time and I try to avoid joining groups. I thought it was just my personality, because I've always been that way. Maybe I'm normal after all. 😂
I seriously would have been stressed to the point of needing therapy if my parents had put me in activities. I asked to be in Girl Scouts because my friend wanted me to be in it with her. My parents let me join. I did not enjoy it, but I didn't drop out. I didn't want to let my friend down and I didn't want to be a quitter. Plus, my parents had spent money getting me a uniform. Same with orchestra. I joined for a friend, didn't enjoy it, stuck it out for 4 years (even though the friend dropped out after the first meeting). A few years ago I finally learned to say 'no thank you' and save myself the stress. I don't cave to the pressure to join anymore.
Kids don't always tell their parents when it's too much.
As a preschool teacher and owner all that you shared about playing and having less toys and things to distract them. I see how having too much can cause students anxiety. We use play as our method learning. Love your videos.
As a kid I spent long summer days and after school at my great grandmother’s house. She didn’t have a single toy or “planned activity”! I loved it there.
There is so much truth in this. & It started making me panic, but it's never too late to introduce new healthier habits. Thanks for these videos. They help me pull myself back in.
Great content! I found minimalism years ago, I got rid of the TV, mattresses, there have been studies that mattresses are actually not that great for our backs! But like I got sucked into peer pressure, as you mentioned. “You don’t have a television?! What about the kids” that comment made me feel guilty, and i ended up getting a tv among other things (haha). Now I am slowly finding my voice and my stand and no letting others tell me how to live or how to raise my kids. Thank you for sharing!
It's really true that you need to declutter toys, my child is feeling better with decluttering her toys. Less screen time makes her more confident in the open air. I am writing this on behalf of my daughter who is a fan of Dawn the minimal mom, we like to watch the videos together.👍👍😊😊
Simplicity Parenting is the best book! I found it life changing.
Yes! My grandparents had ZERO toys for me at their house, but I loved going there every weekend because for one, they were incredible people, and two, I was allowed to play with everything in their home (that was safe). My grandma's jewelry, my grandpa's organ, the vacuum, the 50 cent pieces, the candles. I could be imaginative and creative, and little brains and bodies need the freedom and space to do so.
Now with my 20 month old son, I've noticed how much he appreciated having one or two toys out and around. He played with a wrapping paper tube a few days ago while we were in the basement which has many toys. The day before he played with an empty detergent bottle!
I needed this reminder today! I’m feeling the pressure to sign them up for all the camps and sports, but my kids don’t have to do those things. They thrive well playing at home and with friends. Thanks for sharing!
Such good words here. As a 25 year foster parent, I can attest to the fact that it is difficult to backtrack and retrain. But the benefits are so worthwhile. The ability to entertain yourself, to imagine, create and think quietly are quickly becoming lost arts. I also believe that if children are given a little work to do each day, they are then able to go play cheerfully by themselves or with siblings for greater periods of time than when they only play all day. This teaches delayed gratification, personal responsibility and gives the child a healthy sense of self pride because they learn are strong and capable, as well as an integral part of the family.
This may be one of my favorite videos!
Thank you.
This is an exceptional video, I have the advantage of hindsight. My adult children tell me that their happiest memories are family bike rides, all of us lined up on our king size bed and mom dad reading stories and doing all the voices, camping trips, nature walks, building stuff. They grew up with chores and responsibilities (age appropriate). We did not rush in to solve all their problems but taught them the mental tools they needed to work it out. They did not get everything they wanted and many of their toys were made by them or the family. They learned to solve problems, negotiate, communicate, be responsible. This helped them become successful, kind, honest, giving, confident adults. Dawn is giving her family the same gift. These are things that money can't buy. My granddaughter is in her last year of grad school while working full time and volunteering for a charity that she started helping when she was in junior high.
Seeing Dawn’s daughter hanging/climbing in the tree made me think of Sound of Music scene when the kids were all hanging out in the trees in their outfits made from drapery fabric, having the time of their life, and their father was in shock!😂🤪
I love this video! As we were minimalists before we became parents, by default our kids were forced into this world, but I hope that as they grow up they will find more benefits in it! For now I do love how I can tidy our whole small home in minutes and not hours and then we spend more family time together!!
I wish I had seen/heard this when raising my son 20 years ago. As the first grandson and great grandson on both sides he was showered/overwhelmed with "things" and I can definitely see, looking back, how it could have been easier for him to have had MUCH less.
One thing that I think will be great, when you begin to foster care other children and they come with almost nothing, they won't feel inferior to your family because they don't have what your kids have. It is going to be such a great example for them. We had a boy stay with us one Christmas from an orphanage. We met him through our church and he became a piece of our family for a while. He stayed Christmas with us a few years ago. We got our kids the same amount of gifts to him as our own children which was one gift. He ended up not even taking his gift with him. At first I thought maybe he didn't like it but the more I think about it, he wasn't after the present, he just wanted our time.
Great video! I wish that I had known about minimalism when my kids were small. They are 20, 22 and 25 now and we had a play room with a ton of toys. It was always cluttered and hard to manage. They were pretty creative and liked to play with their friends a lot. However, I definitely see some addiction behaviors now. Not with substance abuse, fortunately. It's more an issue of buying things on Amazon to fill a void. Two of them in particular seem to be chasing new hobbies (with a lot of stuff) to find happiness and then they move on to the next thing. The third child seems to have found minimalism intuitively, before I did, and she's much less attached to stuff and generally happier. Thanks for putting this great advice out there! Good luck to all the young parents, peer pressure is very real!
I know I’m watching a year late, but I feel this whole video deeply. The toys, clothes, abundance of just stuff drove me insane to the point where I just had to tell them what we were doing from now on. I let my kids help me with their clothes and toys and we organized together after we decluttered. Keepsakes have to fit in one tote we have for each child in our cellar. My kids are just now getting into activities but I’ll be doing the same thing with my kids with activities. I only did golf and figure skating but figure skating is such an intensive sport, I did have anxiety around it by the time I hit high school. I think the activities you let kids do needs to be factored in also. If your child says their activity is stressing them out, listen to them. I don’t believe in quitting, but after 10 years of competition skating I was ready to take a break and wasn’t allowed to.
My home goals when we move is to have a fenced yard so they can “go outside and run”. We don’t have a safe front or back yard to let them run around yet.
Love your comments and thoughtfulness. I'm looking forward to reading the book and maybe sharing it with my daughter. Thanks, Dawn!
I grew up on a lake, and that was our playground. We played sports with our neighbor's kids, didn't cost us a dime. We all brought balls and bats, football basketballs and played till time to eat or dark outside. Best childhood ever. Get back to this, and your kids will be happier, healthier and you will have more money in your savings. Your kids don't need costly programs to make them great kids.
Bravo, Dawn! As a mother of 6 and a grandmother of 15, I agree with everything you said. I am always cautioning my adult children about over-scheduling their children’s time. Kids need to get bored because that’s when they get creative. When my children came to me and said, “I don’t have anything to do,” I didn’t solve the issue for them. Within 5 minutes, they were off creatively playing, finding a friend or sibling to play with, reading a book, or taking a much needed nap.
Brilliant video! Thank you . I’m a single mum to 3 children 7,4 and nearly 2. I’m in the UK . I have been decluttering a huge amount but have more to do. I feel mine definitely have too much TV especially my 7 year old. He doesn’t play with anything really so I need to cut back his screen time and encourage him to play more . He loves being outside so now the weather is better that should help
Definitely do it, endure the complaining of boredom for a while but just don’t have the screen as an option. My brother and I grew up with NO tv in the house at all til age 12. I hated it as a kid, jealous of friends etc....now I’m so so grateful and I’m doing the same for my son who’s only 18months at the moment.
@@iceman3195 Thank you for your reply. Well done on doing the same for your son. It’s amazing what you appreciate only once you’ve grown up . I’m not sure I could do no tv but definitely a limit is needed
Thank you for this video! I am a grandmother of 6 so I passed along this video information to my 2 sons and daughter-in-laws....I sure wish I could have watched this back in the day with raising my sons. You talk so simply and easily to understand and comprehend without being condescending and judgmental. Thank you for the resource information! I love following you and your family. I have learned SO much and have downsized SO much since watching your videos. I have a long way to go but I am making progress!!
Thank you for really just being an affirmation that it's ok to not have my kids in all the activities. At this stage in life, we just want our kids (and for us as parents) to have a simple schedule and to have freedom.
Fantastic video. Thanks Dawn for proving we are not bad parents by not putting our children in sports and activities. My ex tried to use that against me in court last month. I was trying to make the option available to participate if the girls proved themselves by being responsible before taking on an activity. I needed to hear this.
I wish I could give this video 10 thumbs up. You have shared so much wisdom and it is so good to hear it. I have 3 children who are now (suddenly it seems) 16, 19 and 20. When they were small I limited toys to "sets" such as blocks, legos or the little wooden train sets. So instead of getting tons of different things they would get new pieces for their sets. It helped keep the chaos under control. But one thing I realized: all the books tell you all the things you need to do to develope your child's imagination when actually kids are born with great imaginations, it is our lifestyle that kills it! My kids played outside most of the time and didn't even have a swing set and I was always amazed at the creative games and adventures etc. they came up with. We also limited extracurricular activities. I told them they could have 2 extra commitments a week (as in youth group or weekly volleyball practice...) but not more. (And we didn't make exceptions for the "Christian" stuff; sometimes churches are the biggest culprits for over-scheduling.) They were free to decide what 2 things they wanted to invest their time in and otherwise their time was free. Anyhow, I could go on and on. I have appreciated this video so much, thank you. That adult peer pressure you mentioned is so real!
We are going to a 4 year old birthday party this weekend. Going to get her an experience vs more toys!
We just had my kid birthday this weekend. And us too decided to go for something special instead of a toy. So we rented a bouncing house with charaters he likes (ninja turtles). He was so happy when they came to install it in our backyard. His face was worth a thousand bucks. He was sad that the castle needed to leave thought.
For us we have not started sports until 7th grade. Although our 5th child started in 5th but it was only 2 days a week. It has been great for them to have an easier schedule through the elementary years and not have the stress of competition.
Dawn, I BELIEVE everything you are talking about! PTSD is real and I had that when I was small. I was so stressed to be perfect, my childhood flew by and there was not much structure. ❤️
When our oldest now 24, was young he had received a Nintendo DS for a 7th bday gift. Dad and I kept the charger. He had the option to have a limited # of screen time minutes each day, but also knew we only charged it on dad's paydays. So he quickly learned to budget his playing time over each 2 weeks between charges. He would ask if we have anywhere to go where he may have to be in a waiting room, like dentist, etc and would often save screen minutes up for that time slot.
You are amazing with how you explain this very hard thing for parents who think more toys more happy kids....you are very right ! 😊👍
I want to thank you so much for being you and helping me simplify in so many areas in life. I am so thankful that I found you. I am not on any social media other than these you tube videos that I watch. I did go to Facebook just to watch your video on technology because I have such respect for you and how you are trying to help people just like me. Thank you for ALL that you! I love all of your videos with Tom and Diana. They are all so helpful. You are changing my life!
I don't have kids nor do I want to have them in the future, but still I agree very much with the concepts you brought up in this video. I remember that the best time in my childhood was downtime. The most creative activities I did were the ones I engaged in when I felt bored. I didn't need lots of toys or screentime to be happy. I just needed time to let my imagination roam free and the company of other kids. Also I don't think it's nice to choose an activity for your kids based only on what you think would be fun/acceptable/beneficial. They are the ones who choose what they like to do and what activity makes them feel the most talented and confident.
Simplicity Parenting is excellent!! I reread it every so often to remind myself to keep things in check.
These are my points about school when it comes to overwhelming amount of school work in one day. Also learning big kids stuff. My first grade twin boys have been doing distance learning this year so I have really seen all of it. Even I get overwhelmed with the amount of work. It is a big frustration of mine and I don’t know where to turn to express my thoughts on this. I have been reading “Boys Should Be Boys” it is awesome.
Your comment really resonated. I think that Dawn’s comment about peer pressure applies to education too. I asked a lot of similar questions - then I realised that, just as I have choices when it comes to parenting, I have choices in the way my children are educated. It took at lot of ‘swimming against the current’. I negotiated ‘no homework’ with some very understanding teachers, I would ask if we could present projects creatively to cater for my children’s interests, and I volunteered hours at the school to navigate administrative systems. But in the end we chose to educate at home and it’s been the best decision we’ve made as a family! Might be worth a little exploration? No pressure of course!
Thank you. So simply but no so simply. I really relate and appreciate your views.
❤❤❤❤ I love everything about this video and what it stands for. Thank you
I totally love the way you approach your life, Dawn. Such pragmatic advice and common sense! You and Tom are such good people!
My sons are now 18 and 20 and your message today was affirming of my choices when they were younger. We basically only bought toys as gifts on their birthday or Christmas but we’re careful on how much we bought. Birthday parties were kids playing in the backyard with their imaginations with food and cake being served. Moms would come over for coffee and play dates and were concerned when I didn’t have a “planned activity” for the kids. Even before the minimalist movement was a thing I intuitively felt that less was more with my sons. Kids were in two extra curricular activities each at the most and not even all the time. I saw other families bursting at the seams with toys and kid stuff and just couldn’t go there. We were not minimalists (still striving to get there) but certainly more minimalish than most parents 20 years ago.
Great video! I am a grandparent and retired teacher and that is how my children were raised! My children are around the same age as you and a television was the only screen around then and we didn’t have one for eight years! By choice! People thought we were crazy but our three children played for hours on end together and creatively with their toys and each other! My grandchildren range in age from 2 to 18. They do have screens with limited viewing times and their parents make sure they have plenty of outdoor time and activity...the park playground for the little one and family hikes etc for the bigger ones! It is definitely the way to bring up kids!
We have always tried to minimize the number of activities and things we had to do on weekends. Coming out of COVID we found ourselves just wanting to get our kiddo back out into the world and ended up in two sports that had multiple nights and days of practice. It lasted about three months and one day my son said "Mom, I'm just tired of always having to do something". We had a family meeting that night and decided that we would go back to our original house rule...one activity at a time and no practices on Saturdays. It's been a good reminder that our family functions best when we keep it simple!
I put my phone in time out. And I have a phone zone so my kids know mom is answering a message and it’s not an all day thing, it can be a pain to me to have to move and put myself in a discipline mode with phones and screens. We put a screen time limit for our kids we need to help ourselves by doing a few things also to do the same. Thanks Dawn’ always love the content
I really wish I had known minimalism 10 years ago when my kids (now 10 - 20) were younger.. ❤️
Same - only 20+ years ago.
Loved this and I so agree that kids need simplicity! The proof is there. Kids thrive with simple schedules and lots of down time to use their brains. It does get harder when they reach high school with all the activities and phones, but with a good foundation they usually do just fine.
as someone who felt the pressure of expectations in every aspect of my childhood, i couldn't agree more. i'm hoping on applying these concepts to my own parenting style in the future.
I just went through my sons toys! Saved what was too young for our next and what I felt was too old for him right now (basically anything that was frustrating him) and its SO much easier to keep clean!! Plus it's all his favorite toys so his key items havent changed at all.
Thanks for the reminders 👍🏻
Happy, confident and successful children are the main goals
I really liked this message, but with one exception. While mentioning various activities I think you mentioned the Girl Scouts. I really think that the Girl Scouts is one activity that may be worth carving extra time for. My three daughters who are now adults participated in Girl Scouts and it was really a great experience for them, they really enjoyed selling the cookies, and also earning badges. Usually scouting is just once a week and sometimes it is every two weeks, so I think the benefits from Girl Scouts is really worth the time commitment.
I wholeheartedly agree with these thoughts!
I walk my 4yr old to school. I avoid using a car as much as possible. It's only a 15min walk yet the amazement of those parents is rediculous. Exercise is important. And it's simplified my life.
We cleared out a lot of toys and then put half in boxes in the garage. Neither child even noticed and rarely asked for anything at all.
I understand that adult peer pressure so much. And hearing you say it makes me feel so NOT crazy you don’t even understand. So many instances of pressure to put my kids in sports or public school down the street or whatever and now the school year coming up and I’m looking at that 7:45-3:30 schedule for my 5 year old thinking “man that’s a long day for a kid but it just must be in my head..” and just hearing you say this has really just.. helped. So thank you.
You don’t have to put your child in school, you can homeschool. You have already taught them everything they know.
You’re not crazy, Ariel! Kids need down time!! Do what you know is best for your child and your family.
Thank you Dawn. It's so true less is more. Our children need us to protect them from the absurd demands of this world....♡
Another great book by this author is the soul of discipline 😃
Love ur set up for this video ❤️ so relaxing and enjoyable to watch 😊
Peer pressure as a parent is way worse than highschool! Especially recently. 😐
I have a saying:
No matter how old we get, High School never ends!
(Sad, but true).
I was not comfortable with a single baby box for each kid. So I've decided on having 3. (1) A baby box for things that were sentimental before they even knew it. (2) An elementary box for things that both they and I feel were sentimental. (3) A Jr/Senior box for things they feel are sentimental.
This seems manageable for both me and my children. It also doesn't cause them to make a decision prematurely.
Perhaps you have this as well. But I'd hate to be a senior in HS and have to decide between a special school project and a baby box item.
This week we are moving to 5 outfits! I'm so ready!
Thank you for the reminder to keep simplifying and keep a simple routine for my kids
I needed to hear that about the craft supplies I really need to declutter that
Great video! My kids are all grown but we never let them pick more than one activity and we encouraged outdoor play instead of TV or electronic games. Thank you for the book recommendation as I believe it will be a great gift I can share with young mothers!
Thank you Dawn! This is how I feel too! We live by these principles too.
So with our two year old,we have taught her from the beginning to take a deep breath when she's having a hard time. My husband and I model this as well when we are having a hard time. We had a tv and we noticed that she was a mess even with an hour of watching tv. So we sold the tv and don't allow her to watch anything except for one day one movie a week. We noticed she was self regulating and taking deep breaths more so after we got rid of the tv than before.
We've set a rule that there is only one activity at a time, with the pandemic we haven't done anything for quite a while, so my daughter picked middle school soccer for the upcoming year. My son is 5 and hasn't shown interested in anything specific yet. He's content with helping daddy around the house and mud 🤣 we created a chore list that includes reading prior to getting screen time and it has really made a difference!
& yes, we recently removed 99% of screentime from our children ages 17-7 & the change in attitude has been amazing.
My kids are young adults now but when they were younger I set a rule around extra curricular activities. They could do swimming lessons (which I consider a life skill) and one other activity at a time. This led my daughter to have to chose between dance, gymnastics, Girl Guides (Girl Scouts) etc. She could do only one, not everything. Because I had two kids, one boy, one girl I knew that activities could easily get out of hand. As a Canadian mom of a boy I got a lot of pressure from people to sign him up for hockey since the age of 3! Which I felt was ridiculous. At about five he did two winters of skating lessons with his sister and that was it. He had no real interest in hockey and boy am I glad I did not bow to the pressure. It's expensive and time consuming. I think some families see it as a status symbol than something to enrich their kids' lives.
We have a hockey family. (I married a hockey fan.). Our son played 4 years and wanted to try an activity that took place at the same time as a hockey practice, so he chose the new activity. Several years later and he misses hockey but more so just being on the ice. He actually switched to figure skating which he would have never tried had he not chosen to try that non-ice activity that took him away from hockey. (I put him in CanSkate the year he wasn't in hockey.). He figure skated for several years before deciding to try an activity that takes place at the same time as skating lessons.
Our daughter has been figure skating since 3 and playing hockey since 5. She misses both but will probably choose one or the other when she returns to sport.
We took a break as a family from all activities through Covid. It was quite different to say no to hockey in the fall but we didn't miss much of a season.
My kids will never be elite athletes at what they choose to pursue because we just don't have access to the skill development for that level so we have taught them to enjoy the sports they choose for their own personal achievements and success.
We are looking forward to returning to sport but it will be that much easier to say no to additional activities because they sure have learned to enjoy their down-time and sleeping in over the past year and a half. 😆
Wow this is GREAT Info Dawn. Thank you thank you! I think I need to watch this video every week!!!!! :-). God Bless you and your family!
Thank you for talking about the importance of "play" and letting kids be kids. Mine are both grown now, but I refused to overschedule them when they were young. Although it was partly due to being a single parent with not enough money or time, I have always believed kids need to be able to just swing on the swings, play hide and seek, spin around till they get dizzy, lay in the grass and find pictures in the clouds. Their days of innocence end much too soon and it makes me sad when I see the schedules many kids and families try to juggle now.
Been loving your videos. Starting to declutter, one room at a time. Don't have kids at home or a husband that doesn't mind picking up. I have all the time in the world. Going to get the minimal lifestyle.
Only one minute into your video and I have already subscribed. I like the way you talk! I want a more organized house!
Thank you 🌷
Thanks so much for this video. I will be researching more and implementing these ideas.
My oldest asked me recently to help them get rid of some toys recently because cleaning up was too difficult. I felt awful, but we are slowly culling the toys & the relief has been obvious. I really thought we had few enough - one ikea storage bin set up - but less is more!
Fewer toys, more simple creativity is great grandma advice too! The book sounds good. There is also a pod. Thanks.
Growing Up We did not own a TV I came out an A OK Adult We went to Carson City Nevada Movie 🏠 House once in a while. I remember $1.75 50 cents for kids 25 cents popcorn I Loved Gone With the Wind 1966 was so special.
This is an awesome videos for many parents. I only have one teenager left at home. There’s so many parents over-scheduling their kids here in the OC, including my sister.
Really great video. We have a 6-month-old and I'm trying to embrace minimalism in his upbringing. I'm already struggling with the multiple gifts of toys and clothes every time a grandparent visits and the guilt of putting some of them directly in a pile to donate to the op shop. Hopefully the gifts ease off as he gets older!
Thank you for the book recommendation! How do we simplify our kids childhood? We try to focus on only the truly important things. We do sports as a family - skiing, biking etc so that we aren’t pulled 6 different ways everyday. We also simplified clothing etc in our home and love it - thanks for your help on that one!