every point that you bring up is so relevant and articulate, maybe most people don't understand the effort that goes into managing a healthy community or star stable hasn't done much to guide the direction of clubs so it's been left to the hands of a mostly younger audience who don't understand the responsibilities? it's such a thought-provoking concept and thank you so much for not shying away from it rainy
I saw my old club in this video and literally panicked. That’s how bad they were , they would constantly treat me horrible, leave me out, and curse me out almost every day. ( keep in mind I was level 12 and this was my first club) so I left and joined a new club after this they would try to find me and constantly annoy and harass my members it was such a chaotic experience so glad I’m with my current club which cheer me up
I really enjoyed this video! I haven't played sso properly in many years, but this video had such as chill vibe I found myself watching it all the way though ♥
I joined a dressage club once and while I never saw any drama occur, the schedule was insane. I joined just to learn and be a part of the “culture”. I’m an adult and have to work to pay bills, but if I missed one practice I would get kicked from the club :/ so insane
I cannot stand clubs no matter how much I want to re-enter the SSO dressage scene because they always end up awful. Even a club that was always promoted as "drama-free" and was known as being drama-free throughout the dressage community (from what I could tell) ended up turning sour. It was especially terrible because the majority of the club didn't understand, but I (along with other staff members) realized how awful the club owner was. She'd constantly emphasize how much she valued the opinions and concerns of the ENTIRE club, but I can assure you, if there were things that went against what she believed, she immediately ignored it and grew defensive. It was even to the point that she and her co-owner would try to "investigate" who submitted a feedback form despite being meant to be ANONYMOUS. The breaking point that caused me to understand that it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows like the club owner claimed was when she took a vote from the whole club to decide whether or not a really underage person (I think 11 or 12?) should be allowed in the club. Once again, she emphasized how it was "up to the entire club". Seen as the club was always promoted as having an older age range (majority 15 to 18 with adults mixed in), plus a rule that you must be at least 14 to enter, the members voted against it on the basis that they felt uncomfortable having such a young kid in their space. When the time came around to accept the chosen applicants, the child was put on a wait list (basically if an applicant doesn't respond or gets removed early on, the wait list would take the place). This was a decision that the owner made on her own without even consulting staff who were all under assumption that the child was not going to be allowed in the club. There were so many things piled up that I began to notice after that. Funny thing is, despite being such an "advocate" for accepting really young applicants, I and ex-staff have had past members who were some of the youngest of the club come to us with reports that the owner had consistently treated them unfairly. Although I can't say whether or not it's because they were young since I had departed by then, it certainly was a pattern unfortunately.
I used to always accept club invites when I first started and I was still new so I never realized how that could possibly be annoying. As I've become more active recently after years of playing, I'm an adult now and my life is kinda chaotic so I've been clubless for a long time now. I would love to join a club eventually but I want to be able to interact and not end up being one of those people who are dead. I really loved this video because you give a lot of great points. Love ya Rainy ♡
Hi rainy! I totally agree with the clique aspect of clubs and some clubs definitely have their own vibe, to this day I’ve never found a club I like(probably bc I play on a dead server) but I’m hoping whenever I do it’ll be club where people can have fun without having to adhere to strict standards. love ur vids btw!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. This is very insightful and we hope to grow from these ideas. I hope club and team owners will find it useful too 💚
The ignoring thing is so true. I only experience it irl. Mostly at school. Therefore i have become more quiet since I don't want to get insulted in a way that I never get a response. It makes me feel like my imput is never important and does not mean anything at all or have some sort of value, so most of the time I am scared to say anything at all because of that reason and stay quiet, I also do not have freinds which makes it 10x worse 💔😔
i know the pain you're experiencing, and it requires an immense amount of strength to power through. true friends will come, and they will be worth the wait. in the meantime i can assure you that your input is of value, and your self worth is not determined by other's opinions or actions. ❤
I struggled with people ignoring me in highschool. Probably because I'm autistic, for some reason people really seemed to have an issue with my autistic traits, which is sad. I hope that in college people will be more mature and understanding. I only have one really close friend, but we've been friends for 12 years now, true friends will come. You don't have to try to impress people who treat you badly, you don't have to hang out with those. It's going to be okay, trust me ❤
I've been in many clubs like this! I spent years trying to fit into a perfect club. I ended up making my own, I have been told its very accepting and there is no INNER circle so everyone is included! I haven't been able to find that in any other club so I am glad I've provided that for a few people. ( South Bees Owner )
I have only been in two clubs. I was only in the first club just one day, because I realized that the other memebers were like 12-13 years old kids (I was 18 back then). I just felt very wrong to play with them, so I honestly don't understand how some people can be in clubs with such a big age difrences. The second club I was in was accually nice at first, we even had a movie night through discord and it was so comfy! But I started to quickly feel like I wasn't really part of the club. Like I get it, my laptop is old and it shows sometimes. But the club owner had youtube cannel, and she was making shopping spree with other members. Like, I understand that if you don't want everyone in your videos, that's totally fine. I just don't understand why can't they wait for me to leave or film that some other day. It really felt like 'you can't sit with us'. I stopped to be active there, and I know I should have said something, but it's really hard for me to say that I want to leave the club.
Just an fyi being introverted dosent mean you dont enjoy social situations it just means you drain energy (sometimes easily) when in social situations and you recharge that energy when youre alone. Its just a way to descibe your social battery.
The club I am currently in does not want to remove a arrogant/rude member or even degrade her position from club leader. She broke the clubs rules multiple times, but butterpolishes the owner not to kick/ degrade her. It is so damn frustrating and everytime I myself as a co-owner try to tell the owner abt the reasons why she should degrade her she just gets really mad and says things like: you should be nice, or quit being jealous. I just want to leave so bad but don't want to hurt the owner's feelings since she is my freind irl 😭
I have my own fair share of experience with a big club on SSO, which now actually makes me SCARED to search for a club. That club was so toxic, it made me so upset, but I refused to leave because I was bored on the game. But finally I made the right choice. So I left a pretty big club that actually started dying now, but that's not important. I just remember how the owners used to be so not understanding, I have AuDHD and got 'yelled at' multiple times for struggling with their dressage routines or forgetting them, and it annoyed me so much. Like, they expected people to just be robots and remember everything perfectly and never make mistakes I guess. 🙄 I also remember how they accused me of 'causing drama' because I said it's not okay to make fun of people online. And they said that I keep acting so mature to show off or something, I guess not being an ass is acting smart now or something... The joys of being in a club with a bunch of kids, some of them were like 11, so they shouldn't even be on Discord and yet they were. And I also remember the owner being ableist as hell to me in my dm's when I tried to explain a situation that happened, and telling me that I wasn't autistic because I was 'writing too well'. Literally, gurl, what..... 💀 So yeah, for now I'm done with clubs, it's so hard to find a good club on SSO, and it pains me! Because I would love to actually be in a big dressage club, but big clubs are just so weird and toxic sometimes, I'm scared to search on SSO, and it's super hard to find an SSO club outside SSO. It's sad that it's hard to find a good community of older players (I'm 18 now, so yeah), because the kids can be truly awful in this game sometimes.
My last club I was in was last year, they were so kind and involved everyone, barely any arguements. I've been in 10 clubs, and I have been on SSO since 2020, I would be in clubs with 12-28 yr olds, some 16-18 yr olds had tricked me into becoming my friend and club member, my last club ended because someone in the club was switching servers and making their own club, and some people joined that one or some left because they weren't online anyway and the club owner ended it. All the other clubs would guilt trip me for not going to the practices, even if I said I was gonna be busy or one of my horses had gotten hurt. So now I'm gonna make my own club, maybe next week, I'm gonna be planning it but I'll hopefully get it done in. The next 2-3 weeks. I'm sorry to everyone else who has dealt with clubs like this and felt left out
I think I joined a few clubs as a noob that I honestly don’t even remember. 2 years ago I joined a club and it was pretty fun. Only about 10 of the around 30 members actually logged on. Then it just started to die so 5 or 6 people decided to start our own club. After a few months of nothing really happening we decided to disband. Around 9 months ago I joined another club and the owner was quite nice. We had a few events but eventually the club disbanded due to inactivity. A few weeks ago me and a few friends decided to make a club. There are currently around 10 people in the club due to some people inviting more of their friends. We are probably just going to be the kinda club that just chills and talks and sometimes has random fun events. I am hoping it doesn’t disband due to inactivity like the other clubs I’ve been in.
The club I'm in is just me and my partner- the last one I was in was toxic and I was basically the person they depend on to hold it together, and I was only there for like a month- it was crazy and I had bought a horse and everything just for them to like- completely rid of the club in the end
I think combining age groups can have a positive, if the leader is a responsible and respected adult. They can make sure that the childish power play and bullying that some kid owned clubs can have, doesn't happen. But it's a lot of responsibility to monitor stuff like that. I think most adult SSO players don't want to babysit for free like that.
I had never enjoyed being in a club, owning, etc. I felt that things were taken too the extreme with scheduled practices, short amount of time to buy the horse/outfit, and overall as a new member, you never felt included. It felt like everyone had their own cliques, groups, etc. And everyone talked crap on EVERYONE.
As a younger player, I always felt uncomfortable in every club I’ve been in due to there not being an established age range, and often times, I’d be in a club with people much older than me and it was awful. I couldn’t comfortably make friends and I felt looked down on most of the time. I definitely think clubs should normalize having age ranges, so kids don’t have to play with adults or people much older than them and they can actually make friends who understand them.
Very engaging video! Loved listening to you ramble :D I must say that some of your points hit a little too close to home, in particular the club hopping ones. I’m the type of person to play star stable like 6 months out of the year but I’ll still feel the need to join a club, just so I can interact with others during the time I am playing. Although I’m not the type of person to join for one week and then leave, instead I’ll try and stay for at least two months, but I still feel like I fit the bill of a club hopper perfectly. Maybe it’s because I’ve only joined dressage clubs through the 7 years I’ve been playing( and I’m now realizing dressage isn’t for me) or it’s because every club I’ve joined just didn’t fit my vibe, but I always see myself being bored of the people or activities of the club. It makes me hesitant to join other types of clubs because I’ll feel guilty for wasting the time of the owners and managers, as well as possibly ruining some possible friendships. I would love to find a club that can work with my unpredictable schedule but it’s just so unlikely. It also doesn’t help that all the friends I made years ago, fell out of my life, or have stopped playing completely. A staple of star stable is the friends you make and interact with. Being unable to commit to the major part of the game that introduces you to friends is so frustrating. I’d like to know if you have any advice for someone of my type. I want to work on myself and my commitment to the game and community. Thank you for this video again! I’m glad I found you, you’re very entertaining!!
hihi 🫶 i completely agree with you that friends are a staple to SSO, they really can be the glue that keeps a person in this community! have you considered joining an event club that does many different types of events? the club i’m in, red foxes ring, really has so many different activities in and outside of star stable - which i find really refreshing, as im sure many of the others do too! touching on the aspect of having an unpredictable schedule, i would recommend to anyone that when inquiring about a club, look into their activity requirements and ask how lenient they are should things in your real life require even more of a forefront focus. from my experience, most adult based clubs are more understanding. wishing you the best of luck, - rainy :)
@@stephanierainbridge Thank you for the response! I’ll definitely look into a hang out type club as not only will it be a breath of fresh air, but I’m sure they’ll also be more understanding regarding my activity. I’ve been so hesitant to join a club that doesn’t center itself around competitive dressage because I’m scared of change ;_; However, this video has changed my perspective, thank you again for that! I’m positive that I’ll find something that is a fit for me. Have a wonderful day Rainy!! 🫂
i shared photos of myself to the club owner because she did and said she would kick me if i didnt so i shared one of my self with a skincare face mask on, and when i joke about leaving the club to joke, she threatened to share those photos and i rlly wanna leave but im scared shes gonna share the photos and i dont know what to do ):
I feel like every single club has their problems, no matter how perfect they seem at first. Whilst some are a small close knit fun hang out club, others are bigger realistic clubs. Its important to remember that no ones perfect, and most people try their best. I am currently club less, and would love some recommendations for healthy clubs. Currently am interested in Sn Dancers United, but if anyone has a personal experience with the club I would love to hear it. Thanks!
Love your humour! More of your dad jokes please. 😂 Also, good video with important points on clubs. Must be because of my limited personal experience, but I'm still always surprised when I hear about applications for clubs. Maybe that's a regional/cultural thing? You're playing on NAm servers, I suppose, while I am not.
i'm playing on german servers and i've never met a club that doesn't do applications over some sort of website or social media, i kinda thought that was the standard even tho it does look a little silly ngl
@@juna4344 Interesting, thanks for sharing this. I've only once heard of a club having a "waiting list", perhaps there's actually some kind of application process behind that. Maybe it's just a coincidence, or maybe the clubs I'm interested in (or that are interested in having me) are not the ones who usually do applications.
i apologize in advance for the word vomit below, but this video on clubs was really nice and i felt like i had to share what im going through with the club im in at the moment because i absolutely love it but idk what to do :/. the club im currently in, is one of the most chill clubs i've been in and its very small and i absolutely love it, but its just become more and more draining to run it by myself. Don't get me wrong though, the owner is a wonderful person and good friend, but they're just not very active and in turn neither is anyone else, im just the club leader/ dressage instructor. its just been hard to keep up running the club by myself while being active when no one else is, especially now that im starting my summer job, i wont have the time to run and manage everything like i have been because i won't be able to be on anymore. and i totally get that ppl have stuff to do outside of sso and not everyone can make it to stuff or be active, just wish ppl would say something. and i dont think were asking too much, we only meet 3 day out of the week and we only ask for ppl to show up to one of those days if there able to (these events only last an hour at the most). and were not strict about it at all, were mainly a hangout/ relaxed dressage club, plus i don't want it to be strict. it should be fun and i do my best to make it as fun and chill as i can, while also always being constructive in a positive way (im always told that they had a bunch of fun by the end of everything but idk :/ ) i guess the main point im trying to make is that i feel like my time is being wasted, because i feel like i have to be on. Not just to set an example as the club leader but just incase someone decides that they will log in that day for the event. because idk if and when ppl will show that day or not, hence why i feel that as the responsible instructor/ club leader that i have to be there. mainly in the end it really just sucks to have everything ready and set up/planed out for a practice or an event, and have shuffled my schedule around the set club times so that i can be there to run the events/ practices, only for the minutes to tick by and no one show up. :') i've contemplated leaving, but the reasons why i haven't is because the club owner is a good friend and a really good owner when they are online, but also because of the one club member that's always there and excited to do dressage and learn new stuff, so id feel really guilty if i just left. but on the other hand its been over 6 months of me doing things by myself with ppl only showing up a handful of times for things. and i honestly dont know what to do anymore, do you have any advice for what i should do?
hi there! after reading through what you’ve said and getting an overall understanding of the situation, here is my advice: the work, effort, and time you’re putting into this club is basically owner level in my eyes. for you to be doing so much on your own, and trying to keep things a float and active without support or help from other staff, especially the owner, is i would imagine not only incredibly draining but also so frustrating when like you said, people are not really showing up. you mentioned that you don’t want to leave because there are some people who are excited to learn/show up, and the club owner is a good friend/owner when they’re around. it is clear that you care for others, but at the end of the day you need to choose yourself. you’re not responsible for their happiness, you’re responsible for your own. your peace and happiness matters just as much as everyone else’s. this is a horse game, games are meant to be fun. while the club owner you speak of may be a good friend in some aspects, they should not put all responsibility on you. all in all, you really seem to have a lot to offer a club and not only that but you deserve to have people around you that are just as actively passionate about seeing the club succeed just as you are, and are therefore willing to show up and put in the work. speaking from experience, having those kinds of friends around you make having a club and striving for it to always improve so rewarding and on top of that - fun! that’s what a club should be, fun. there is a club out there that will cherish you, i think you just have to find it. perhaps you can use your summer to look since you will be relatively busy! though the search may not necessarily be easy, and it can be scary to leave something you’ve known for 6 months, i think regret is scarier. wishing you the best of luck, -rainy
I have been looking at red foxes ring to apply to. Are you still in the club? Do you feel like that club has some of these issues you mentioned? With the club owner favorites and people being in cliques etc? I hope I’m not seeming rude I’m just curious with this video being posted and you not mentioning your club
hi there! i'm still in RFR and loving it! myself, the other staff members and owner are so passionate about creating a positive club experience for the members. because of that, I feel like we do not have those issues; however, if anything were to arise we are quick to handle things. ❤
“id like to make a toast” 🍞🤎
Omg look I love u and rainy!!!
every point that you bring up is so relevant and articulate, maybe most people don't understand the effort that goes into managing a healthy community or star stable hasn't done much to guide the direction of clubs so it's been left to the hands of a mostly younger audience who don't understand the responsibilities? it's such a thought-provoking concept and thank you so much for not shying away from it rainy
I saw my old club in this video and literally panicked. That’s how bad they were , they would constantly treat me horrible, leave me out, and curse me out almost every day. ( keep in mind I was level 12 and this was my first club) so I left and joined a new club after this they would try to find me and constantly annoy and harass my members it was such a chaotic experience so glad I’m with my current club which cheer me up
I really enjoyed this video! I haven't played sso properly in many years, but this video had such as chill vibe I found myself watching it all the way though ♥
thank you so much! your words truly mean a lot and i’m glad to hear you liked the video ❤️
I joined a dressage club once and while I never saw any drama occur, the schedule was insane. I joined just to learn and be a part of the “culture”. I’m an adult and have to work to pay bills, but if I missed one practice I would get kicked from the club :/ so insane
I cannot stand clubs no matter how much I want to re-enter the SSO dressage scene because they always end up awful. Even a club that was always promoted as "drama-free" and was known as being drama-free throughout the dressage community (from what I could tell) ended up turning sour. It was especially terrible because the majority of the club didn't understand, but I (along with other staff members) realized how awful the club owner was. She'd constantly emphasize how much she valued the opinions and concerns of the ENTIRE club, but I can assure you, if there were things that went against what she believed, she immediately ignored it and grew defensive. It was even to the point that she and her co-owner would try to "investigate" who submitted a feedback form despite being meant to be ANONYMOUS.
The breaking point that caused me to understand that it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows like the club owner claimed was when she took a vote from the whole club to decide whether or not a really underage person (I think 11 or 12?) should be allowed in the club. Once again, she emphasized how it was "up to the entire club". Seen as the club was always promoted as having an older age range (majority 15 to 18 with adults mixed in), plus a rule that you must be at least 14 to enter, the members voted against it on the basis that they felt uncomfortable having such a young kid in their space. When the time came around to accept the chosen applicants, the child was put on a wait list (basically if an applicant doesn't respond or gets removed early on, the wait list would take the place). This was a decision that the owner made on her own without even consulting staff who were all under assumption that the child was not going to be allowed in the club.
There were so many things piled up that I began to notice after that. Funny thing is, despite being such an "advocate" for accepting really young applicants, I and ex-staff have had past members who were some of the youngest of the club come to us with reports that the owner had consistently treated them unfairly. Although I can't say whether or not it's because they were young since I had departed by then, it certainly was a pattern unfortunately.
I used to always accept club invites when I first started and I was still new so I never realized how that could possibly be annoying. As I've become more active recently after years of playing, I'm an adult now and my life is kinda chaotic so I've been clubless for a long time now. I would love to join a club eventually but I want to be able to interact and not end up being one of those people who are dead. I really loved this video because you give a lot of great points. Love ya Rainy ♡
Hi rainy! I totally agree with the clique aspect of clubs and some clubs definitely have their own vibe, to this day I’ve never found a club I like(probably bc I play on a dead server) but I’m hoping whenever I do it’ll be club where people can have fun without having to adhere to strict standards. love ur vids btw!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. This is very insightful and we hope to grow from these ideas. I hope club and team owners will find it useful too 💚
what a compliment! i too hope club and team owners will find this video useful. best of wishes to you guys! 🤗
The ignoring thing is so true. I only experience it irl. Mostly at school. Therefore i have become more quiet since I don't want to get insulted in a way that I never get a response. It makes me feel like my imput is never important and does not mean anything at all or have some sort of value, so most of the time I am scared to say anything at all because of that reason and stay quiet, I also do not have freinds which makes it 10x worse 💔😔
i know the pain you're experiencing, and it requires an immense amount of strength to power through. true friends will come, and they will be worth the wait. in the meantime i can assure you that your input is of value, and your self worth is not determined by other's opinions or actions. ❤
I struggled with people ignoring me in highschool. Probably because I'm autistic, for some reason people really seemed to have an issue with my autistic traits, which is sad. I hope that in college people will be more mature and understanding. I only have one really close friend, but we've been friends for 12 years now, true friends will come. You don't have to try to impress people who treat you badly, you don't have to hang out with those. It's going to be okay, trust me ❤
Thank you both so much for your support, it means a lot 🥺❤️
I've been in many clubs like this! I spent years trying to fit into a perfect club. I ended up making my own, I have been told its very accepting and there is no INNER circle so everyone is included! I haven't been able to find that in any other club so I am glad I've provided that for a few people.
( South Bees Owner )
that’s awesome! great work :))
I have only been in two clubs. I was only in the first club just one day, because I realized that the other memebers were like 12-13 years old kids (I was 18 back then). I just felt very wrong to play with them, so I honestly don't understand how some people can be in clubs with such a big age difrences. The second club I was in was accually nice at first, we even had a movie night through discord and it was so comfy! But I started to quickly feel like I wasn't really part of the club. Like I get it, my laptop is old and it shows sometimes. But the club owner had youtube cannel, and she was making shopping spree with other members. Like, I understand that if you don't want everyone in your videos, that's totally fine. I just don't understand why can't they wait for me to leave or film that some other day. It really felt like 'you can't sit with us'. I stopped to be active there, and I know I should have said something, but it's really hard for me to say that I want to leave the club.
Just an fyi being introverted dosent mean you dont enjoy social situations it just means you drain energy (sometimes easily) when in social situations and you recharge that energy when youre alone. Its just a way to descibe your social battery.
The club I am currently in does not want to remove a arrogant/rude member or even degrade her position from club leader. She broke the clubs rules multiple times, but butterpolishes the owner not to kick/ degrade her. It is so damn frustrating and everytime I myself as a co-owner try to tell the owner abt the reasons why she should degrade her she just gets really mad and says things like: you should be nice, or quit being jealous. I just want to leave so bad but don't want to hurt the owner's feelings since she is my freind irl 😭
The thoughts while lifeguarding are just a different kind of thought😂 im feeling ya
I have my own fair share of experience with a big club on SSO, which now actually makes me SCARED to search for a club. That club was so toxic, it made me so upset, but I refused to leave because I was bored on the game. But finally I made the right choice.
So I left a pretty big club that actually started dying now, but that's not important. I just remember how the owners used to be so not understanding, I have AuDHD and got 'yelled at' multiple times for struggling with their dressage routines or forgetting them, and it annoyed me so much. Like, they expected people to just be robots and remember everything perfectly and never make mistakes I guess. 🙄
I also remember how they accused me of 'causing drama' because I said it's not okay to make fun of people online. And they said that I keep acting so mature to show off or something, I guess not being an ass is acting smart now or something... The joys of being in a club with a bunch of kids, some of them were like 11, so they shouldn't even be on Discord and yet they were.
And I also remember the owner being ableist as hell to me in my dm's when I tried to explain a situation that happened, and telling me that I wasn't autistic because I was 'writing too well'. Literally, gurl, what..... 💀
So yeah, for now I'm done with clubs, it's so hard to find a good club on SSO, and it pains me! Because I would love to actually be in a big dressage club, but big clubs are just so weird and toxic sometimes, I'm scared to search on SSO, and it's super hard to find an SSO club outside SSO.
It's sad that it's hard to find a good community of older players (I'm 18 now, so yeah), because the kids can be truly awful in this game sometimes.
My last club I was in was last year, they were so kind and involved everyone, barely any arguements. I've been in 10 clubs, and I have been on SSO since 2020, I would be in clubs with 12-28 yr olds, some 16-18 yr olds had tricked me into becoming my friend and club member, my last club ended because someone in the club was switching servers and making their own club, and some people joined that one or some left because they weren't online anyway and the club owner ended it.
All the other clubs would guilt trip me for not going to the practices, even if I said I was gonna be busy or one of my horses had gotten hurt.
So now I'm gonna make my own club, maybe next week, I'm gonna be planning it but I'll hopefully get it done in. The next 2-3 weeks.
I'm sorry to everyone else who has dealt with clubs like this and felt left out
I think I joined a few clubs as a noob that I honestly don’t even remember. 2 years ago I joined a club and it was pretty fun. Only about 10 of the around 30 members actually logged on. Then it just started to die so 5 or 6 people decided to start our own club. After a few months of nothing really happening we decided to disband. Around 9 months ago I joined another club and the owner was quite nice. We had a few events but eventually the club disbanded due to inactivity. A few weeks ago me and a few friends decided to make a club. There are currently around 10 people in the club due to some people inviting more of their friends. We are probably just going to be the kinda club that just chills and talks and sometimes has random fun events. I am hoping it doesn’t disband due to inactivity like the other clubs I’ve been in.
The club I'm in is just me and my partner- the last one I was in was toxic and I was basically the person they depend on to hold it together, and I was only there for like a month- it was crazy and I had bought a horse and everything just for them to like- completely rid of the club in the end
I think combining age groups can have a positive, if the leader is a responsible and respected adult. They can make sure that the childish power play and bullying that some kid owned clubs can have, doesn't happen. But it's a lot of responsibility to monitor stuff like that. I think most adult SSO players don't want to babysit for free like that.
I had never enjoyed being in a club, owning, etc. I felt that things were taken too the extreme with scheduled practices, short amount of time to buy the horse/outfit, and overall as a new member, you never felt included. It felt like everyone had their own cliques, groups, etc. And everyone talked crap on EVERYONE.
As a younger player, I always felt uncomfortable in every club I’ve been in due to there not being an established age range, and often times, I’d be in a club with people much older than me and it was awful. I couldn’t comfortably make friends and I felt looked down on most of the time. I definitely think clubs should normalize having age ranges, so kids don’t have to play with adults or people much older than them and they can actually make friends who understand them.
Very engaging video! Loved listening to you ramble :D I must say that some of your points hit a little too close to home, in particular the club hopping ones. I’m the type of person to play star stable like 6 months out of the year but I’ll still feel the need to join a club, just so I can interact with others during the time I am playing. Although I’m not the type of person to join for one week and then leave, instead I’ll try and stay for at least two months, but I still feel like I fit the bill of a club hopper perfectly. Maybe it’s because I’ve only joined dressage clubs through the 7 years I’ve been playing( and I’m now realizing dressage isn’t for me) or it’s because every club I’ve joined just didn’t fit my vibe, but I always see myself being bored of the people or activities of the club. It makes me hesitant to join other types of clubs because I’ll feel guilty for wasting the time of the owners and managers, as well as possibly ruining some possible friendships. I would love to find a club that can work with my unpredictable schedule but it’s just so unlikely. It also doesn’t help that all the friends I made years ago, fell out of my life, or have stopped playing completely. A staple of star stable is the friends you make and interact with. Being unable to commit to the major part of the game that introduces you to friends is so frustrating. I’d like to know if you have any advice for someone of my type. I want to work on myself and my commitment to the game and community. Thank you for this video again! I’m glad I found you, you’re very entertaining!!
hihi 🫶 i completely agree with you that friends are a staple to SSO, they really can be the glue that keeps a person in this community! have you considered joining an event club that does many different types of events? the club i’m in, red foxes ring, really has so many different activities in and outside of star stable - which i find really refreshing, as im sure many of the others do too! touching on the aspect of having an unpredictable schedule, i would recommend to anyone that when inquiring about a club, look into their activity requirements and ask how lenient they are should things in your real life require even more of a forefront focus. from my experience, most adult based clubs are more understanding. wishing you the best of luck,
- rainy :)
@@stephanierainbridge Thank you for the response! I’ll definitely look into a hang out type club as not only will it be a breath of fresh air, but I’m sure they’ll also be more understanding regarding my activity. I’ve been so hesitant to join a club that doesn’t center itself around competitive dressage because I’m scared of change ;_; However, this video has changed my perspective, thank you again for that! I’m positive that I’ll find something that is a fit for me. Have a wonderful day Rainy!! 🫂
i love this video
blushing 🤭🤭
i shared photos of myself to the club owner because she did and said she would kick me if i didnt so i shared one of my self with a skincare face mask on, and when i joke about leaving the club to joke, she threatened to share those photos and i rlly wanna leave but im scared shes gonna share the photos and i dont know what to do ):
Yet again, I clicked immediately!! I love your videos so much!! ❤
CLUBS SCARE ME OMGGG
Another rainy video! yay :)
I feel like every single club has their problems, no matter how perfect they seem at first. Whilst some are a small close knit fun hang out club, others are bigger realistic clubs. Its important to remember that no ones perfect, and most people try their best. I am currently club less, and would love some recommendations for healthy clubs. Currently am interested in Sn Dancers United, but if anyone has a personal experience with the club I would love to hear it. Thanks!
Love your humour! More of your dad jokes please. 😂
Also, good video with important points on clubs. Must be because of my limited personal experience, but I'm still always surprised when I hear about applications for clubs. Maybe that's a regional/cultural thing? You're playing on NAm servers, I suppose, while I am not.
i'm playing on german servers and i've never met a club that doesn't do applications over some sort of website or social media, i kinda thought that was the standard even tho it does look a little silly ngl
@@juna4344 Interesting, thanks for sharing this. I've only once heard of a club having a "waiting list", perhaps there's actually some kind of application process behind that. Maybe it's just a coincidence, or maybe the clubs I'm interested in (or that are interested in having me) are not the ones who usually do applications.
i apologize in advance for the word vomit below, but this video on clubs was really nice and i felt like i had to share what im going through with the club im in at the moment because i absolutely love it but idk what to do :/.
the club im currently in, is one of the most chill clubs i've been in and its very small and i absolutely love it, but its just become more and more draining to run it by myself.
Don't get me wrong though, the owner is a wonderful person and good friend, but they're just not very active and in turn neither is anyone else, im just the club leader/ dressage instructor.
its just been hard to keep up running the club by myself while being active when no one else is, especially now that im starting my summer job, i wont have the time to run and manage everything like i have been because i won't be able to be on anymore. and i totally get that ppl have stuff to do outside of sso and not everyone can make it to stuff or be active, just wish ppl would say something. and i dont think were asking too much, we only meet 3 day out of the week and we only ask for ppl to show up to one of those days if there able to (these events only last an hour at the most). and were not strict about it at all, were mainly a hangout/ relaxed dressage club, plus i don't want it to be strict. it should be fun and i do my best to make it as fun and chill as i can, while also always being constructive in a positive way (im always told that they had a bunch of fun by the end of everything but idk :/ )
i guess the main point im trying to make is that i feel like my time is being wasted, because i feel like i have to be on. Not just to set an example as the club leader but just incase someone decides that they will log in that day for the event. because idk if and when ppl will show that day or not, hence why i feel that as the responsible instructor/ club leader that i have to be there. mainly in the end it really just sucks to have everything ready and set up/planed out for a practice or an event, and have shuffled my schedule around the set club times so that i can be there to run the events/ practices, only for the minutes to tick by and no one show up. :')
i've contemplated leaving, but the reasons why i haven't is because the club owner is a good friend and a really good owner when they are online, but also because of the one club member that's always there and excited to do dressage and learn new stuff, so id feel really guilty if i just left. but on the other hand its been over 6 months of me doing things by myself with ppl only showing up a handful of times for things.
and i honestly dont know what to do anymore, do you have any advice for what i should do?
hi there! after reading through what you’ve said and getting an overall understanding of the situation, here is my advice: the work, effort, and time you’re putting into this club is basically owner level in my eyes. for you to be doing so much on your own, and trying to keep things a float and active without support or help from other staff, especially the owner, is i would imagine not only incredibly draining but also so frustrating when like you said, people are not really showing up.
you mentioned that you don’t want to leave because there are some people who are excited to learn/show up, and the club owner is a good friend/owner when they’re around. it is clear that you care for others, but at the end of the day you need to choose yourself. you’re not responsible for their happiness, you’re responsible for your own. your peace and happiness matters just as much as everyone else’s. this is a horse game, games are meant to be fun. while the club owner you speak of may be a good friend in some aspects, they should not put all responsibility on you.
all in all, you really seem to have a lot to offer a club and not only that but you deserve to have people around you that are just as actively passionate about seeing the club succeed just as you are, and are therefore willing to show up and put in the work. speaking from experience, having those kinds of friends around you make having a club and striving for it to always improve so rewarding and on top of that - fun! that’s what a club should be, fun. there is a club out there that will cherish you, i think you just have to find it. perhaps you can use your summer to look since you will be relatively busy! though the search may not necessarily be easy, and it can be scary to leave something you’ve known for 6 months, i think regret is scarier. wishing you the best of luck,
-rainy
@@stephanierainbridge thank you rainy! your thoughtful words and advice is really appreciated!
Love your vids! Xx
I love your videos
I have been looking at red foxes ring to apply to. Are you still in the club? Do you feel like that club has some of these issues you mentioned? With the club owner favorites and people being in cliques etc? I hope I’m not seeming rude I’m just curious with this video being posted and you not mentioning your club
hi there! i'm still in RFR and loving it! myself, the other staff members and owner are so passionate about creating a positive club experience for the members. because of that, I feel like we do not have those issues; however, if anything were to arise we are quick to handle things. ❤
What kind of horse is that brown/white one? 🤩
dutch warmblood from this year’s equestrian festival!
@@stephanierainbridge aww I cannot buy it anymore I suppose? 😭😭😭