Fun facts: 1. I had put on my longterm goal list “Be interviewed on Chris Do's show" a few months before I ended up on the Process. 2. Even though I was a super shy, INTJ, as a kid I used to imagine being interviewed by Oprah. When I was talking to Chris on one of the recordings I totally had deja vu. Chris is the new Oprah. =)
What a great talk with Chris. So many wonderful nuggets of truth. A few of my favorites. "Change the way you look at things and then the things you look at will change." "Have the courage to say what you are thinking." "Change the lens." I've been talking to more strangers and I am seeing how it's starting to give me more energy and positive vibes. Changing the lens and looking outward (instead of inward) is giving me momentum. I've also realized I just need to SLOW down and take the time to talk to people.
Your progress is an inspiration for so many other's who are introspective, creative, and hold the deep desire to move forward in their career. Thank you for being your true self on this show.
Thankyou for this talk chris. I work as a self employed maker in costume and have still found your channel really useful. I found that volunteering with a mass band for Notting Hill carnival here in the UK really helped me when engaging in conversation with people I didn't know. I also realised that I had more skills than I thought and ended up running workshops which I would have found terrifying in the past. I'm now in a position where I get given interns to train. I despaired on one TV job I had by how the more extrovert interns were more interested in networking and who people knew rather than getting to know individuals in a more organic genuine way. In my desperation I asked to only be given interns who had made plasticine monsters when they were a child. They found me a very shy young woman who interned with me and she was amazing, this was ten years ago and she has been in constant paid work in the film industry since that internship. Having a genuine passion and interest in what you do and in other people goes a long way. chit chat is just breaking the ice to more deeper conservations with people.
As a Christian, I learnt many of these concepts and applied it in different ways but I've never thought of how it can apply to my personality to overcome my own anxieties as an introvert. Change the lens, I love that you've turned your nervousness and anxiety to listening better to stay engaged. I'm always afraid to say for fear of sounding dumb. Thank you for reminding me of these things and helping me. As we say in Hawai'i mahalo nui loa, thank you very much. Just to let you know a lot of these principles that you have been talking about to serving or helping people to vision board, trust and keeping your word and many others are all very biblical principles that are found in the bible. God is actually more practical then we think. Again thank you so much. Aloha Ke Akua God is Love.
I resonate a lot when Chris said once he found the craft of graphic design, he became clearer about his identity and gradually built up his confidence in that process. I am a 50/50 ambivert person and I never lack confidence in myself. Often times I just need an identity as a base to "redirect" my energy from and use it to engage with people. Once I figure out who I am, I am no longer worrying about possible, negative feedbacks that much. Always really great content, Chris!
Key takeaway l learned for going through the entire conversation with a stranger, client or not is being "really thoughtful" not to be in a rush but just slow down. Thank you Chris
This is a truly inspiring episode. As a shy introvert and an INFJ I've always found it difficult when the business expects you to be extroverted, and I've always felt that I wasn't cut out for it. This talk made me see things a bit differently. That I can be an introvert, and that it might even be a strength, and I still be a part of this industry. But maybe I just need to see things from a different mindset. Thanks for being so inspiring and sharing your feeling on this!
As INTJs we are always optimizing ourselves. When I was 19 years old (I'm now 49) I decided I wanted to take a few jobs waiting tables and another tending bar for a year and another couple in retail/customer service JUST so that I could force myself to learn social skills and get comfortable talking with lots of different people and helping them. I got really really good at it to the point that I would constantly get customer-satisfaction surveys from people telling my managers who great I was with them. It was a total turnaround from how I was earlier in life. My whole life I've been into self-help and I have noticed from watching your videos that you are the same way. That is just something we INTJs do. We constantly improve ourselves. And, yes! My best friend is an ENFP. I just love being around her because we get each other so excited and she pulls me out! Her extroverted intuition and my introverted intuition play off each other in a really fun way. She's ALL over the place with her extroverted intuition, just like Jose (well maybe not QUITE as much as Jose, lol). She's a therapist so she knows how to tone it down enough to not over power others. I love ENFPs.
Chris you're doing such an awesome job of introducing these concepts of expectation and ego and the perception of one's self into the experiences Rebecca talks about, without patronising or belittling her in any way as so many other teachers frequently do. This practical application of these important ideas can help anyone in any walk of life/industry so thanks again for this powerful series
I appreciate THIS topic more than anything right now.. From the age of 16 to now at 25, I've turned from the clown of the crowd - to completely terrified of being around people in a professional environment.. It's like the more I grew my skills, the more tutors and professionals praise what I do & the more I discover what I want to do with my life > the more depressed I am getting because I'm setting my bar high but inside I'm shrinking.. I badly need more of this type of conversations in my life. Thank you!
Liberating and life changing episode for me. I loved that you talked about how to exploit the advantages of being an introvert but also how to be weary of the pitfalls associated with it. Thanks Rebecca for putting yourself out there on the show. I loved the conversation about the challenges of being an introvert. Especially how it drains all your energy to be around other people. I have been wondering why I get so tired after seemingly normal interactions with other people. I also loved the part about the ego. How we want to appear a certain way and we get so focused on that that it ruins the moment and keeps us from learning and moving forward. So deep. So useful. Thank you so much. Un bijou. Merci beaucoup.
I totally understand the need for us introverts to exercise our extroversion, however, I sometimes feel that I am always having to adapt to this extroverted and loud society while most natural extroverts don't even mind to understand what is the difference between introversion and extroversion. For sure, it's important for us to develop this more outgoing side of ourselves in order that our introversion doesn't become a burden, but even more important is to keep our individuality and self-respect as introverts. This contemporary world is always demanding us to behave as extroverts 24/7 and we must know when is the time to say no.
Completely agree with this. I've accepted over the years that being introverted is just who I am. I can go hang out with people and have a good time but that doesn't mean I'm not gonna need some time to relax and be alone afterwards, or just miss out on some events. But it is rather exhausting sometimes to have to conform to this extroverted society in order to survive.
man thank you so damn much for your videos. you're helping me become a leader of the world, but most importantly, the leader of myself. don't stop, plz. you empower people :)
Failing would be worse than death. Now that is something i want to strive for. As an introvert, you sound like a sage Chris. Saying the right things at just the right time.
I love Chris. I couldn’t stop smiling while watching this episode. While I am traditionally an ENTP, I may have a mid zone in the E & I … so a lot of what you both were saying resonated. After listening to Chris for so long, I have started to slow down, listen more and say what I am thinking. I find it to be a liberating experience. Now I save so much energy that I can use for more productive things. I never realised how much energy I spent talking about things that didn't matter. It's therapeutic. Also, being in business has forced me to become an ENTJ. So I completely agree with Chris here. One can switch sides anytime. It’s like learning to use your left hand if you are a righty. Thank you to both of you.
I just want to say thank you for this serious! I feel a lot of the same struggles that are talked about here, and I'm looking to embrace and overcome them. All great advice!
I'm glad you made that show with Rebecca! I am 'Rebecca' too! I didn't realize that me being an introvert is holding me back, I thought of every other reason, but not that. I found a tone of useful information. I even cried!.... something definitely moved inside me. :D Thanks!
I’ve grown to dislike any form of small talk because of my desire for deeper connections (below the surface conversations) in which some people aren't able to provide. (Obviously, I know deeper convos ultimate develop from small talk.) I'm fully capable of engaging others in conversation. Yet, I often don't because of my perceived low value in small talk. I will practice more small talk.
Small Talk is the Dog Sniff Test for humans lol. I am an extrovert but with the small talk, I can decide whether I would like to continue talking with someone. The small talk is a chance to monitor body language, tonality and overall vibe.
I'm so not surprised to hear you were an INTJ. I am as well. In general tho, what I've learned about the Myers Briggs test is that studying the cognitive functions will give you a more accurate result than just taking the test. Helpful tip for anyone else who's interested!
I relate to this episode so much. I always felt bad for "being in my head" and replaying situations. I have to remind myself that I'm doing that because I'm learning from the situation, analyzing what I did and didn't do so that I can better prepare for a similar situation or prepare to meet that person again. Small talk is really hard because I quite simply don't care about half the stuff people talk about. I hate gossip. I like talking about subjects. It feels very fake when I try to small talk, but maybe I just need to ask more specific questions to learn more about them.
Thank you Chris for being a wonderful coach, Rebecca for being an honest volunteer and the entire team for putting up this podcast ... It made me feel more comfortable, more confident and changed my perspective about myself overall. It gave me back the spark and direction that I needed the most at this point of time. 💗🌼✨🥂 Thank you once again!
This is diamond-covered gold! Breaking through the fear of simply speaking to people is the hardest thing I face daily. I need to start painting the fence. I'm committing right now to talk to 5 people as well. At work, the gas station, church, etc. Chris, you inspire and give hope to all of us. Thank you for all you do!
Jonathan Wilson - Keep at it. Many times I can't do it. But I keep trying, I fail. I try again and it works. And then it gets a little bit easier each time.
Chirs, You won't believe it. This Ep. helps me a lot. Because for sure at the time of building up the business and life arrangement. It has a lot of the feeling and sometimes we don't feel confident, we faced a hard time and negative energy. This Ep. is like "A Light Shining" and bring up the energy a lot. Regarding that, I'm also one of the most positive thinking people as well, but I cannot overcome the barrier that I see it's a negative point inside myself. This is just blowing up my mind. ( Just want to lets you know ) and very thank you.
This is totally me! I talk to myself just to convince me to start small talk. I've been told several times that I am intimidating, I think that stops me from talking. This was very helpful. Thanks again!
I loved Chris's slow down advice. A way that's helped me remember this is the following 'would you rather'... Would you rather crawl in the right direction or run in the wrong one? To me it's a great visual. When we run hard in the wrong direction it just puts us that much more behind.
You had me at the first Karate kid reference! I too am an introvert and can relate allot to Rebecca. I find my introversion definitely gets in the way of me vocally communicating my creative ideas, takes too much energy out of me, can't we just communicate through email?! lol, I guess not! Thanks for this video, very helpful and I'm going to try incorporating some of these practices into my daily! Is there anything you guys cant do?!? Goals! Love you guys!
INFP checking in! Such a great episode. Engaging in any form of communication (even commenting on UA-cam videos) can be draining, but I’m ready to run into the darkness! Well...maybe a light jog.
So this will be my first time commenting. I am a huge fan of Chris. And wow this video on introverts got me really inspired because i am an introvert as well. I was able to connect and I've learnt so much in one video! I will start to change the lens to see myself differently. Do more small talk and just to let go and create. Thank you so much
Random encounters lead to results - if you have 100 random encounters (and by random I mean talking to someone you dont know e.g. wating for the bus) it is quite likely that some of these people will own businesses or know of people who own businesses that need design work. In addition you are enhancing your social skills - this is a no brainer. Being a TOTAL introvert may work for design but is bad for business - you must be able to conversate. ps. Awesome content as always, thank you Ralph Jones, Novatur Design.
Chris. These videos (Melinda and this pretty woman) have been so tactical on the business(process) part. This video is so psychological. And I loved it. It's really surprising how these little changes in mindset dramatically changes our lives. And, very few people talk about these things. Most Business Gurus I have watched are trying to sell their service or simply trying to show how great they are. Chris, you really nailed it in this video. I just loved it. Thank you so much for this video. Much Love❤️
I really can relate to Rebecca, I am also INTJ in my 40s and I want to start my own Art or Design company. But I am not as skilled as her. But if she can promise to talk to 5 random person in a week, I also promise to to the same commitment. I am committing to it by proclaiming it here. Thanks to Cris for this great video, hope that one day I will find a mentor like Chris.
I'm very introverted but if I open up and connect well, I talk more than listen (usually because I get so enthusiastic and I like sharing life experiences) . That said, when I do listen, I'm fully present and absorbed in whoever is talking to me :) (prolonged eye contact also gives me sort of a high and it feels as if I'm zoomed in on the other) .
I'm just the same as Chris when it comes to visualizations and it's the reason why I don't do vision boards either. I understand their purpose and how they can work for other people but for me, they hardly have the fidelity or realness as the things that I have in my mind. This is why experiences seem like deja vu when they happen or even feel as if I had already had a premonition of the event happening.
Loved this episode because i'm introvert (infj) as well and sometimes i feel like nobody understands me or is like me in a negative way. So this awereness on the subject is really nice. And now i'm veeery curious how rebecca is doing!
Another great episode! Really enjoying this series - loads of brilliant insights to benefit people at the same stage as Rebecca in their business development. Got my Sustaining Member signup done today too - been meaning to do that for a while - sorry about the delay ;)
You are amazing! Thanks for what you're doing! Great Chanel 🙏🏻 every word on this podcast sounds so personal to me like you were talking to myself! I'm in those bloody doors now in my life , standing and waiting for somebody to push me forward 🙏🏻😉
Some interesting parallels in boxing to what Chris was saying: to throw faster punches, boxers actually relax. The ones who stay tense and always loaded-up will end up being slower and more drained out. Must be just the way our minds and bodies work that relaxing lets you act at your best
I have a suggestion about "how can i change my perspective". I played the Game superliminal and you need about 2 hours for this game. This Game helped me A LOT to change my perspectiv and understand how it function . I recommend you this game for the purpose "why is it important to change your own perspective".
You can't really change your MBTI type. It's about the order of the cognitive functions you use. You can learn to become more extroverted, but it's all about how you think. And Chris is definitely an INTJ, with Introverted Intuition as the main cognitive function, though he has well developed Extraverted Thinking as well.
I am always interested in how ceo of successful companies who are also quiet/shy/introverted like chris or tony hsiesh of zappos run their businesses in the culture of extroversion/extreme personalities. One of the most helpful videos from this channel!
OMG HA! Chris, I KNEW you were either an INTJ or an ENTJ but I really think you are an INTJ. My father is an ENTJ and my mother an INFJ and I'm an INTJ! I've even asked you that in comments on your other videos. Chris, I think you are probably an INTJ who has just learned how to extrovert socially. You can't change your functional stack. Look up the cognitive functions if you truly want to understand it all. I'm an INTJ so I recognized it pretty quickly in you, also because I have studied the MBTI cognitive functions quite extensively. I'm a 49-year old female who has taught herself to have the social skills early in life because I knew I would need them to excel in anything I choose to do in life. So I come across as extroverted in work but my father, is a true ENTJ, which is different. ENTJs and INTJs come across the same way a lot and many times they are confused with each other (just like INFJs and INFPs can be confused if you don't know them well) but ENTJs are much more naturally comfortable with people than we are. They absolutely love interacting with people naturally whereas we have to teach ourselves how to do it and we still prefer that alone time to really fully relax. Just look at your dominant function and you'll see the difference. INTJs are more reflective and thorough in our thinking and we tend to think on a larger/longer scale. Our extroverted thinking supports our introverted intuition (which dominates). Our thinking does what it takes to serve our knowing/intuition. ENTJs are the other way around. Their intuition serves their dominant extroverted thinking (which dominates). The supporting and dominant functions can appear to overtake each other at times though so don't let that fool you. ENTJs aren't trying to be as perfectionistic as us in our acquisition of knowledge. ENTJs main goal is to be better than everyone else and just get it done quickly. INTJs don't care as much about besting people. We just want to get it perfectly optimized for the long term. As an INTJ, I may have had to improve on my weaknesses (social skills) but my dominant function will always be Introverted Intuition and my supporting function will always be Extroverted Thinking (which is why we seem extroverted when we are at work). You are who you are. But yes of course you can totally enhance your strengths and improve upon your weaknesses. But that is not changing you. It's making you a better YOU.
This video helped to reinforce my recent thoughts about taking control of my social anxiety, leaving my head sometimes, and practising small talk. I'm going to start practising small talk with five of my new coworkers. Also, Chris and Rebecca, are you on Quora?
OMG! I am just like Rebecca. It's really depressing sometimes and I think why I can't be just like others... I have tried going to very small events with few people and I couldn't talk to them even, as a result I come back home failing to communicate with others!
well chris well told ... it's about about understanding yourself. but aswell to hear what ppl say and try to let these feelings run through your own body. and this way you can see in too ppl .. have done it my self for years.. and not meny ppl can do it.. but just is just like you looking through them as they was made off glass.. nice show .. and have a nice day chris ..
Love the advice with not focusing on the spoon and focus on something else, and just listen to the customer. What cameras and light set up do your production use? I will eventually need to purchase video equipment and some info would be helpful budget for now would be around 2k.
I have to same problem and keep trying to avoid going out and talk to people. I need to do that and I need to get myself just dive in and trust the process!
As an introvert we are naturally curious. Harness that natural curiosity as a superpower and the conversations will flow, the opportunities will develop and our world will open up and expand.
"what about your homework?" - That bit applied 100% to me. And the funny part is, I had exactly the same excuses, except turned to fit me ("it's weird talking to people because I'm a guy", not a woman) that tells me that it's BS, no matter which way I turn it... :/
Regarding the 'vision board', there is a great documentary about that called 'The Secret' and it's available on Netflix (at least in the Netherlands). I'am doing this with my own life and for me it really helps. Just keep it mind that most people quit just before the sprout breaks through the ground and blooms to full potential. Check it out, it can be a life changer.
When you are watching this living in England, and you realise if you made small talk to strangers they would think that your going to kill them😂😂😂 #britishproblems Loving the series though and learning a lot!!!
@chrisdo - would love to understand your 'process' (and the steps and goals) to overcome the energy issue that a lot of us introverts feel. How do you go from seeing group settings/teaching/meetings/etc. as any energy drain to something that energizes? maybe another episode idea? :)
yes thank you so much for sharing...go rebecca u can do it.....ive been having so much trouble speaking to people(even with family)....and im going to try these tips
Flores Graphics - I hope some of these tips help you. There are so many great ones from Chris and I do truly feel they will work. Looking outward rather than inward is one of the best ones for me. Sometimes also, it takes the right moment in life to be ready to make the change. For me, this is the moment :) I hope so for you as well.
Rebecca Heinemann they really did! ... im currently out of town with my family... ireally believe its time for me to stop hiding and really share and connect with them ... i find myself thinking more, instead of actually engaging in conversation with everyone...because of my ego being in the way and fear of judgement... so today as i went through my day i pushed myself and tried...it went pretty okay i still felt super nervous and stuttered alot but its a start i guess...thanks again for sharing! (:
Any tips for an INTJ looking to be an ENTJ at networking events? Meditative techniques? Creatine pills? Or maybe just focusing smaller groups of people where I don't have to force myself to talk over others and I can utilize my excellent listening skills.
I'm threatening lol I'm a 6'7 black man I tried to talk to people all week just about basic stuff and its like people are startled and intimidated, I feel very awkward walking away. I'm willing to keep it up but hope it gets better.
Why is this show not a podcast???!!! I tried to do a podcast like this (creativetrek.com) but my imposter syndrome got the best of me. Chris is really on point with my perspectives. He is just looks and sounds better than me. LOL
Hey Chris! We've had 3 clients in this last half year since we've started our production company. The clients came from our network of people or at least very close to our network. Getting clients through referrals from them is going to be more of a long-term process as nobody in their network seems to be in need of our services right now. What are your thoughts on cold calling/mailing around to get the next leads in the meantime? Best, Leo
Fun facts:
1. I had put on my longterm goal list “Be interviewed on Chris Do's show" a few months before I ended up on the Process.
2. Even though I was a super shy, INTJ, as a kid I used to imagine being interviewed by Oprah. When I was talking to Chris on one of the recordings I totally had deja vu. Chris is the new Oprah. =)
Melinda Livsey - lol Chris is the new Oprah. I love it!
Chris is Oprah for designers.
awww. Oprah? i'll take that as a huge compliment. though she's much more understanding.
Chris is totally the new Oprah!
*Looks at the camera* Everyone reach under their seat! Agency in a box! You get a box! You get a box! kekekke
What a great talk with Chris. So many wonderful nuggets of truth. A few of my favorites.
"Change the way you look at things and then the things you look at will change."
"Have the courage to say what you are thinking."
"Change the lens."
I've been talking to more strangers and I am seeing how it's starting to give me more energy and positive vibes. Changing the lens and looking outward (instead of inward) is giving me momentum. I've also realized I just need to SLOW down and take the time to talk to people.
Bravo! 👏
I love this "Change the lens." :)
Your progress is an inspiration for so many other's who are introspective, creative, and hold the deep desire to move forward in their career. Thank you for being your true self on this show.
@Ida Eriksson Patience and persistence is key. Thank you!
These are great achievments Rebecca!Great to hear that!Chris is awesome 😺🥰
Thankyou for this talk chris. I work as a self employed maker in costume and have still found your channel really useful. I found that volunteering with a mass band for Notting Hill carnival here in the UK really helped me when engaging in conversation with people I didn't know. I also realised that I had more skills than I thought and ended up running workshops which I would have found terrifying in the past.
I'm now in a position where I get given interns to train. I despaired on one TV job I had by how the more extrovert interns were more interested in networking and who people knew rather than getting to know individuals in a more organic genuine way. In my desperation I
asked to only be given interns who had made plasticine monsters when they were a child. They found me a very shy young woman who
interned with me and she was amazing, this was ten years ago and she has been in constant paid work in the film industry since that internship. Having a genuine passion and interest in what you do and in other people goes a long way. chit chat is just breaking the ice to more deeper conservations with people.
As a Christian, I learnt many of these concepts and applied it in different ways but I've never thought of how it can apply to my personality to overcome my own anxieties as an introvert. Change the lens, I love that you've turned your nervousness and anxiety to listening better to stay engaged. I'm always afraid to say for fear of sounding dumb. Thank you for reminding me of these things and helping me. As we say in Hawai'i mahalo nui loa, thank you very much. Just to let you know a lot of these principles that you have been talking about to serving or helping people to vision board, trust and keeping your word and many others are all very biblical principles that are found in the bible. God is actually more practical then we think. Again thank you so much. Aloha Ke Akua God is Love.
Evans Elaban be with god my friend.
I resonate a lot when Chris said once he found the craft of graphic design, he became clearer about his identity and gradually built up his confidence in that process. I am a 50/50 ambivert person and I never lack confidence in myself. Often times I just need an identity as a base to "redirect" my energy from and use it to engage with people. Once I figure out who I am, I am no longer worrying about possible, negative feedbacks that much. Always really great content, Chris!
Thank you. I think I’m an ambivert too.
Key takeaway l learned for going through the entire conversation with a stranger, client or not is being "really thoughtful" not to be in a rush but just slow down. Thank you Chris
This is a truly inspiring episode.
As a shy introvert and an INFJ I've always found it difficult when the business expects you to be extroverted, and I've always felt that I wasn't cut out for it.
This talk made me see things a bit differently.
That I can be an introvert, and that it might even be a strength, and I still be a part of this industry. But maybe I just need to see things from a different mindset.
Thanks for being so inspiring and sharing your feeling on this!
As INTJs we are always optimizing ourselves. When I was 19 years old (I'm now 49) I decided I wanted to take a few jobs waiting tables and another tending bar for a year and another couple in retail/customer service JUST so that I could force myself to learn social skills and get comfortable talking with lots of different people and helping them. I got really really good at it to the point that I would constantly get customer-satisfaction surveys from people telling my managers who great I was with them. It was a total turnaround from how I was earlier in life. My whole life I've been into self-help and I have noticed from watching your videos that you are the same way. That is just something we INTJs do. We constantly improve ourselves.
And, yes! My best friend is an ENFP. I just love being around her because we get each other so excited and she pulls me out! Her extroverted intuition and my introverted intuition play off each other in a really fun way. She's ALL over the place with her extroverted intuition, just like Jose (well maybe not QUITE as much as Jose, lol). She's a therapist so she knows how to tone it down enough to not over power others. I love ENFPs.
constant improvers unite!
The quality of these videos... My god. Feels like I'm watching an HBO feature.
thanks Nick. we got to work on the audio, but we're getting the hang of this.
Nonetheless, thanks for all the great content! Keep it up!
Chris you're doing such an awesome job of introducing these concepts of expectation and ego and the perception of one's self into the experiences Rebecca talks about, without patronising or belittling her in any way as so many other teachers frequently do. This practical application of these important ideas can help anyone in any walk of life/industry so thanks again for this powerful series
I appreciate THIS topic more than anything right now.. From the age of 16 to now at 25, I've turned from the clown of the crowd - to completely terrified of being around people in a professional environment.. It's like the more I grew my skills, the more tutors and professionals praise what I do & the more I discover what I want to do with my life > the more depressed I am getting because I'm setting my bar high but inside I'm shrinking.. I badly need more of this type of conversations in my life. Thank you!
Ivana Iv that's too bad. Learn to love who you are. That's the beginning.
Liberating and life changing episode for me.
I loved that you talked about how to exploit the advantages of being an introvert but also how to be weary of the pitfalls associated with it.
Thanks Rebecca for putting yourself out there on the show.
I loved the conversation about the challenges of being an introvert. Especially how it drains all your energy to be around other people. I have been wondering why I get so tired after seemingly normal interactions with other people.
I also loved the part about the ego. How we want to appear a certain way and we get so focused on that that it ruins the moment and keeps us from learning and moving forward.
So deep. So useful.
Thank you so much.
Un bijou. Merci beaucoup.
Martina Dick this was a life changing moment for me as well. Try the advice that Chris gives ... just do it ;)
I totally understand the need for us introverts to exercise our extroversion, however, I sometimes feel that I am always having to adapt to this extroverted and loud society while most natural extroverts don't even mind to understand what is the difference between introversion and extroversion.
For sure, it's important for us to develop this more outgoing side of ourselves in order that our introversion doesn't become a burden, but even more important is to keep our individuality and self-respect as introverts. This contemporary world is always demanding us to behave as extroverts 24/7 and we must know when is the time to say no.
Completely agree with this. I've accepted over the years that being introverted is just who I am. I can go hang out with people and have a good time but that doesn't mean I'm not gonna need some time to relax and be alone afterwards, or just miss out on some events. But it is rather exhausting sometimes to have to conform to this extroverted society in order to survive.
Totally agree with you.
man thank you so damn much for your videos. you're helping me become a leader of the world, but most importantly, the leader of myself. don't stop, plz. you empower people :)
so grateful for this series with Rebecca, I can really relate. thanks so much you guys
Wow! I really needed to hear this. Thank you for sharing.
This series is great, Rebecca is so much like so many of us and this type of review of advice video is wonderful :) thanks dudes :)
you bet sam. #weAreRebecca
Every video of yours has some useful content for life, work, everything. Damn. You are the GURU.
Failing would be worse than death. Now that is something i want to strive for. As an introvert, you sound like a sage Chris. Saying the right things at just the right time.
Vidit Agarwal ty.
I love Chris. I couldn’t stop smiling while watching this episode. While I am traditionally an ENTP, I may have a mid zone in the E & I … so a lot of what you both were saying resonated.
After listening to Chris for so long, I have started to slow down, listen more and say what I am thinking. I find it to be a liberating experience. Now I save so much energy that I can use for more productive things. I never realised how much energy I spent talking about things that didn't matter. It's therapeutic.
Also, being in business has forced me to become an ENTJ. So I completely agree with Chris here. One can switch sides anytime. It’s like learning to use your left hand if you are a righty.
Thank you to both of you.
mansi rastogi bravo.
I just want to say thank you for this serious! I feel a lot of the same struggles that are talked about here, and I'm looking to embrace and overcome them. All great advice!
I'm glad you made that show with Rebecca! I am 'Rebecca' too! I didn't realize that me being an introvert is holding me back, I thought of every other reason, but not that. I found a tone of useful information. I even cried!.... something definitely moved inside me. :D Thanks!
I’ve grown to dislike any form of small talk because of my desire for deeper connections (below the surface conversations) in which some people aren't able to provide. (Obviously, I know deeper convos ultimate develop from small talk.) I'm fully capable of engaging others in conversation. Yet, I often don't because of my perceived low value in small talk. I will practice more small talk.
DANAMI small talk is the warm up.
Quite the painful warm up.
Small Talk is the Dog Sniff Test for humans lol. I am an extrovert but with the small talk, I can decide whether I would like to continue talking with someone. The small talk is a chance to monitor body language, tonality and overall vibe.
I'm so not surprised to hear you were an INTJ. I am as well. In general tho, what I've learned about the Myers Briggs test is that studying the cognitive functions will give you a more accurate result than just taking the test. Helpful tip for anyone else who's interested!
Right on! I've been waiting for this follow up! Thank you Chris and Rebecca.
and here we are.
I relate to this episode so much. I always felt bad for "being in my head" and replaying situations. I have to remind myself that I'm doing that because I'm learning from the situation, analyzing what I did and didn't do so that I can better prepare for a similar situation or prepare to meet that person again.
Small talk is really hard because I quite simply don't care about half the stuff people talk about. I hate gossip. I like talking about subjects. It feels very fake when I try to small talk, but maybe I just need to ask more specific questions to learn more about them.
Thank you Chris for being a wonderful coach, Rebecca for being an honest volunteer and the entire team for putting up this podcast ... It made me feel more comfortable, more confident and changed my perspective about myself overall. It gave me back the spark and direction that I needed the most at this point of time. 💗🌼✨🥂
Thank you once again!
Glad to hear
Man, you have no idea how I needed this.
Love the saying...Take around what you think is a weakness and turn it into a strength. Well done again guys.
Louie Groenewald lean into your strengths. Flip the neg and make it positive.
This is diamond-covered gold! Breaking through the fear of simply speaking to people is the hardest thing I face daily. I need to start painting the fence. I'm committing right now to talk to 5 people as well. At work, the gas station, church, etc. Chris, you inspire and give hope to all of us. Thank you for all you do!
Jonathan Wilson ✨💎💎💵💰
Jonathan Wilson - Keep at it. Many times I can't do it. But I keep trying, I fail. I try again and it works. And then it gets a little bit easier each time.
Chirs, You won't believe it. This Ep. helps me a lot. Because for sure at the time of building up the business and life arrangement. It has a lot of the feeling and sometimes we don't feel confident, we faced a hard time and negative energy. This Ep. is like "A Light Shining" and bring up the energy a lot. Regarding that, I'm also one of the most positive thinking people as well, but I cannot overcome the barrier that I see it's a negative point inside myself. This is just blowing up my mind. ( Just want to lets you know ) and very thank you.
Appreciate it Aornarie.
You two are doing a lot for us! Thank you again!
RamiresRafael thank you. Here to help.
This is totally me! I talk to myself just to convince me to start small talk. I've been told several times that I am intimidating, I think that stops me from talking. This was very helpful. Thanks again!
Rebecca is adorable! She's very courageous woman to put herself out there. Way to go, Rebecca!
she's making great strides. you'll see the transformation.
I loved Chris's slow down advice. A way that's helped me remember this is the following 'would you rather'... Would you rather crawl in the right direction or run in the wrong one? To me it's a great visual. When we run hard in the wrong direction it just puts us that much more behind.
You had me at the first Karate kid reference! I too am an introvert and can relate allot to Rebecca. I find my introversion definitely gets in the way of me vocally communicating my creative ideas, takes too much energy out of me, can't we just communicate through email?! lol, I guess not! Thanks for this video, very helpful and I'm going to try incorporating some of these practices into my daily! Is there anything you guys cant do?!? Goals! Love you guys!
daniel-san.
Frank, open and inspirational. One if the best videos I’ve enjoyed from the Futur... and that’s saying a lot! Well done both of you guys.
Thank you.
INFP checking in! Such a great episode. Engaging in any form of communication (even commenting on UA-cam videos) can be draining, but I’m ready to run into the darkness! Well...maybe a light jog.
Tara Draws run full speed Tara.
So this will be my first time commenting. I am a huge fan of Chris. And wow this video on introverts got me really inspired because i am an introvert as well. I was able to connect and I've learnt so much in one video! I will start to change the lens to see myself differently. Do more small talk and just to let go and create. Thank you so much
yay. first comment! welcome.
This is really Good! Thanks so much Chris and Rebecca for opening up and talking about and sharing your experiences:-)
Needed to hear this.. thank you!! Rebecca for putting yourself out there. Chris like always for just being you and sharing all of this.
Random encounters lead to results - if you have 100 random encounters (and by random I mean talking to someone you dont know e.g. wating for the bus) it is quite likely that some of these people will own businesses or know of people who own businesses that need design work. In addition you are enhancing your social skills - this is a no brainer. Being a TOTAL introvert may work for design but is bad for business - you must be able to conversate.
ps. Awesome content as always, thank you
Ralph Jones, Novatur Design.
thanks. it's easier said than done. so small steps. then bigger ones.
As an extreme introvert,I find this is super helpful and insightful ,thanks for sharing this :)
Chris. These videos (Melinda and this pretty woman) have been so tactical on the business(process) part. This video is so psychological. And I loved it.
It's really surprising how these little changes in mindset dramatically changes our lives. And, very few people talk about these things. Most Business Gurus I have watched are trying to sell their service or simply trying to show how great they are.
Chris, you really nailed it in this video. I just loved it. Thank you so much for this video.
Much Love❤️
small shifts in the way you think and you will see big results.
@@thefutur very true ❤️
Some great insights here. I relate about being an introvert and social anxiety. I'm somewhere between INFP and INFJ.
great, great, great advices!!!! About design, life and about be a better person for business and especially for ourselves. Thank you!
This is great stuff. Worth bookmarking and coming back to watch every so often to see if we've forgotten or relaxed on some of these tips.
thanks scott.
I really can relate to Rebecca, I am also INTJ in my 40s and I want to start my own Art or Design company. But I am not as skilled as her. But if she can promise to talk to 5 random person in a week, I also promise to to the same commitment. I am committing to it by proclaiming it here. Thanks to Cris for this great video, hope that one day I will find a mentor like Chris.
Good for you.
Thanks for getting this out - much needed for introverts in this 21st century!
I'm very introverted but if I open up and connect well, I talk more than listen (usually because I get so enthusiastic and I like sharing life experiences) . That said, when I do listen, I'm fully present and absorbed in whoever is talking to me :) (prolonged eye contact also gives me sort of a high and it feels as if I'm zoomed in on the other) .
Relatable in so many ways. Really appreciate you both : )
I'm just the same as Chris when it comes to visualizations and it's the reason why I don't do vision boards either. I understand their purpose and how they can work for other people but for me, they hardly have the fidelity or realness as the things that I have in my mind. This is why experiences seem like deja vu when they happen or even feel as if I had already had a premonition of the event happening.
Loved this episode because i'm introvert (infj) as well and sometimes i feel like nobody understands me or is like me in a negative way. So this awereness on the subject is really nice. And now i'm veeery curious how rebecca is doing!
The door metaphor and he pushing her is amazing and very funny LOL :D
This is brilliant! so inspiring and helpful!
Thank you guys!
What a great episode, thank you for sharing this conversation. Truly inspiring and helpful.
Another great episode! Really enjoying this series - loads of brilliant insights to benefit people at the same stage as Rebecca in their business development. Got my Sustaining Member signup done today too - been meaning to do that for a while - sorry about the delay ;)
Paul Irwin thanks Paul!!
You are amazing! Thanks for what you're doing! Great Chanel 🙏🏻 every word on this podcast sounds so personal to me like you were talking to myself! I'm in those bloody doors now in my life , standing and waiting for somebody to push me forward 🙏🏻😉
When Chris said the quote 'What would you do if you couldn’t fail?' - that felt so freeing! I need this on a poster ha.
hi sarah. we can make that.
Some interesting parallels in boxing to what Chris was saying: to throw faster punches, boxers actually relax. The ones who stay tense and always loaded-up will end up being slower and more drained out. Must be just the way our minds and bodies work that relaxing lets you act at your best
Stepan Lavrinenko I like the boxing analogy.
Just so you know, I did see this at just the right moment. Thank you for sharing both of your experiences!
Thanks a lot both of you! Look forward to upcoming episodes. /Excited introvert
As an extrovert, I'm a simple man, I see a Futur video I hit the like button.
Thank you this is just the advice I needed! Hits me very deep..
Super excellent show! Yes, yes, yes, on the introvert and just talk to people. I'm so bad at that. Thanks for this!
I have a suggestion about "how can i change my perspective". I played the Game superliminal and you need about 2 hours for this game. This Game helped me A LOT to change my perspectiv and understand how it function . I recommend you this game for the purpose "why is it important to change your own perspective".
Watching this video at a defining moment. Thank you❤️
Yes it was very useful!I will implement in my daily life! Thank you a lot Chris for showing us how to change our lives in a better one!👍🥰
You can't really change your MBTI type. It's about the order of the cognitive functions you use. You can learn to become more extroverted, but it's all about how you think. And Chris is definitely an INTJ, with Introverted Intuition as the main cognitive function, though he has well developed Extraverted Thinking as well.
I am always interested in how ceo of successful companies who are also quiet/shy/introverted like chris or tony hsiesh of zappos run their businesses in the culture of extroversion/extreme personalities. One of the most helpful videos from this channel!
thank you. appreciate it. i really identify w/ Tony Hsieh.
#blessing One of my goals is now to get my business into the financial position to become a sustaining member. Thanks, Coach!
Thank you Sarah.
OMG HA! Chris, I KNEW you were either an INTJ or an ENTJ but I really think you are an INTJ. My father is an ENTJ and my mother an INFJ and I'm an INTJ! I've even asked you that in comments on your other videos. Chris, I think you are probably an INTJ who has just learned how to extrovert socially. You can't change your functional stack. Look up the cognitive functions if you truly want to understand it all. I'm an INTJ so I recognized it pretty quickly in you, also because I have studied the MBTI cognitive functions quite extensively. I'm a 49-year old female who has taught herself to have the social skills early in life because I knew I would need them to excel in anything I choose to do in life. So I come across as extroverted in work but my father, is a true ENTJ, which is different. ENTJs and INTJs come across the same way a lot and many times they are confused with each other (just like INFJs and INFPs can be confused if you don't know them well) but ENTJs are much more naturally comfortable with people than we are. They absolutely love interacting with people naturally whereas we have to teach ourselves how to do it and we still prefer that alone time to really fully relax. Just look at your dominant function and you'll see the difference.
INTJs are more reflective and thorough in our thinking and we tend to think on a larger/longer scale. Our extroverted thinking supports our introverted intuition (which dominates). Our thinking does what it takes to serve our knowing/intuition. ENTJs are the other way around. Their intuition serves their dominant extroverted thinking (which dominates). The supporting and dominant functions can appear to overtake each other at times though so don't let that fool you. ENTJs aren't trying to be as perfectionistic as us in our acquisition of knowledge. ENTJs main goal is to be better than everyone else and just get it done quickly. INTJs don't care as much about besting people. We just want to get it perfectly optimized for the long term. As an INTJ, I may have had to improve on my weaknesses (social skills) but my dominant function will always be Introverted Intuition and my supporting function will always be Extroverted Thinking (which is why we seem extroverted when we are at work). You are who you are. But yes of course you can totally enhance your strengths and improve upon your weaknesses. But that is not changing you. It's making you a better YOU.
i've always been an INTJ when i'm tested. The recent "E" was done via a quick online test. who knows if that's even accurate.
These videos are so great! The universe brought me here. However, I'm having problems finding all of the introvert episodes.
Just watch all the Rebecca videos.
Thanks guys, great talk. Helped me alot. In fact I'm currently reading the Fine Art of Small Talk book from Debra Fine
This video helped to reinforce my recent thoughts about taking control of my social anxiety, leaving my head sometimes, and practising small talk. I'm going to start practising small talk with five of my new coworkers.
Also, Chris and Rebecca, are you on Quora?
Rebecca - I´d recommend the book "The Confidence Gap"...Get the paper version, because it´s a process work book!
Some Bashar references about expectations and permission slips :) great videos thanks for this
OMG! I am just like Rebecca. It's really depressing sometimes and I think why I can't be just like others... I have tried going to very small events with few people and I couldn't talk to them even, as a result I come back home failing to communicate with others!
well chris well told ... it's about about understanding yourself.
but aswell to hear what ppl say and try to let these feelings run through your own body.
and this way you can see in too ppl ..
have done it my self for years.. and not meny ppl can do it.. but just is just like you looking through them as they was made off glass..
nice show .. and have a nice day chris ..
Love the advice with not focusing on the spoon and focus on something else, and just listen to the customer. What cameras and light set up do your production use? I will eventually need to purchase video equipment and some info would be helpful budget for now would be around 2k.
I have to same problem and keep trying to avoid going out and talk to people. I need to do that and I need to get myself just dive in and trust the process!
get out of your shell. the world awaits your genius.
Thank you, Chris!
Loved this episode
You are very welcome!
As an introvert we are naturally curious. Harness that natural curiosity as a superpower and the conversations will flow, the opportunities will develop and our world will open up and expand.
I signed up for the sustaining membership.
Samuel Nevils thank you so much!!
"what about your homework?" - That bit applied 100% to me. And the funny part is, I had exactly the same excuses, except turned to fit me ("it's weird talking to people because I'm a guy", not a woman) that tells me that it's BS, no matter which way I turn it... :/
no Bs. you have to do the work to make growth.
Regarding the 'vision board', there is a great documentary about that called 'The Secret' and it's available on Netflix (at least in the Netherlands). I'am doing this with my own life and for me it really helps. Just keep it mind that most people quit just before the sprout breaks through the ground and blooms to full potential. Check it out, it can be a life changer.
When you are watching this living in England, and you realise if you made small talk to strangers they would think that your going to kill them😂😂😂 #britishproblems
Loving the series though and learning a lot!!!
I'd live to win another day. A loss can not be on par with death.
@chrisdo - would love to understand your 'process' (and the steps and goals) to overcome the energy issue that a lot of us introverts feel. How do you go from seeing group settings/teaching/meetings/etc. as any energy drain to something that energizes? maybe another episode idea? :)
yeah. most definitely.
I hope Melinda and Rebecca can work together in a project one day!
we are going to record an episode with both of them. look out for it.
yes thank you so much for sharing...go rebecca u can do it.....ive been having so much trouble speaking to people(even with family)....and im going to try these tips
Flores Graphics - I hope some of these tips help you. There are so many great ones from Chris and I do truly feel they will work. Looking outward rather than inward is one of the best ones for me. Sometimes also, it takes the right moment in life to be ready to make the change. For me, this is the moment :) I hope so for you as well.
Rebecca Heinemann they really did! ... im currently out of town with my family... ireally believe its time for me to stop hiding and really share and connect with them ... i find myself thinking more, instead of actually engaging in conversation with everyone...because of my ego being in the way and fear of judgement... so today as i went through my day i pushed myself and tried...it went pretty okay i still felt super nervous and stuttered alot but its a start i guess...thanks again for sharing! (:
Hi Rebecca, Try "implementation intention" technique ... I hope it will work for you =)
More people should do a vision boards! :-)
Any tips for an INTJ looking to be an ENTJ at networking events? Meditative techniques? Creatine pills? Or maybe just focusing smaller groups of people where I don't have to force myself to talk over others and I can utilize my excellent listening skills.
I'm threatening lol I'm a 6'7 black man I tried to talk to people all week just about basic stuff and its like people are startled and intimidated, I feel very awkward walking away. I'm willing to keep it up but hope it gets better.
Vision One 76 a big dude can be intimidating. Disarm them with your charm.
Wow I'm doing a gap year, made a vision board last year and I achieved a lot of those things this year :)
Good chat, good chat
Why is this show not a podcast???!!! I tried to do a podcast like this (creativetrek.com) but my imposter syndrome got the best of me. Chris is really on point with my perspectives. He is just looks and sounds better than me. LOL
you're too kind.
The Futur you are alot more wiser as well👍and you are making a big difference. Love the show. Keep it up!
Hey Chris! We've had 3 clients in this last half year since we've started our production company. The clients came from our network of people or at least very close to our network. Getting clients through referrals from them is going to be more of a long-term process as nobody in their network seems to be in need of our services right now. What are your thoughts on cold calling/mailing around to get the next leads in the meantime? Best, Leo
can't hurt. i work on inbound marketing (content marketing vs cold calls) myself because i don't like call up strangers asking for work.
The Futur great! Thanks. We’ll try some outbound marketing for a bit to see if it helps. If not, we’ll focus back on inbound marketing.