Ashnikko - Panic Attacks In Paradise (Official Music Video)
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- Опубліковано 28 вер 2021
- The official music video for Ashnikko - Panic Attacks In Paradise
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See more official videos from Ashnikko here:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=luZyM...
Listen/Download Panic Attacks In Paradise here: Ashnikko.lnk.to/PAIPM
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/ ashnikkomusic
/ ashnikko
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Credits:
Director: Claire Arnold @claire_arnoldProduction Company: Ground Work @ground___work
Executive Producer: Aaron Z. WillsonProducer: Ben Pengilly @pengillybProduction Manager: Anna Butler @anna_butler__
Production Assistant: Iman Loudii @imxnldii1st Ad: Elicia Lotherington @ellxcxa2nd Ad: Samirah Conteh
Director Of Photography: Stephen Yap @stefanyapdop
Steadicam Operator: Jake Whitehouse @jakewhitehouse___
1st Ac: Devan Clarke-Sheward @devan_csLoader: Dan Howe @dantheacCamera Trainee: Edward MDIT: David TebbeeVFX Supervisor: Assad NaveedRig Operator: Tony HillGrip: Nick KempGaffer: Massimo Filippi @miserottiSpark: Beau WilkinsonSpark: Marcello Bellini @_marcellobellini_
Stylist: Holly Adamthwaite @hollyblowslightly
Stylist Assistant: Jose Panadero @josepandero
Beauty: Georgia Olive @georgiaoliveBeauty Assistant : Edma Horn
Hair Stylist: Claire Moore @clmorhairLead Hair Assistant: John Allan @johnallanhair
Hair Assistant: Erika Freedman @erikafreedman
Nails: Jessica Thompson @jessicathompsonnails
Production Design & Set: Ellie Koslowsky @elliekoslowsky Production Design & Set: Finn Sullivan @fin_sullyArt Assistant: Amelia TaveneerArt Assistant: Phoebe
Art Assistant: EmeliaArt Assistant: ChingArt Assistant: DebraRunner: Tami IgeRunner: Izzy Meikle-small @izzy_meikle
Editor: Tom Chick @tomchickpostVFX Post Producer: Fatima Ouklilane @butterscotchpost
Lead VFX: Robert ChandlerVFX Compositor: Chris James BrownVFX: Vicky Campobello @vicampobelloVFX: Narf Alvarez @n4rf_Grade: Adam Clarke @adamclarkecolour
Stills Photographer: Vasso Vujovic @vassovu
BTS: Danny Views @dannyviews
Lyrics:
Typical of me to go and ruin the party
Everybody says they love me but I’m still broken-hearted
They call me Polly Pessimism I’m a Macabre Barbie
[I LOVE YOU]
My boyfriend wants me love me but I won’t let him
I’ve been predisposed to trauma since I was eleven
So I wrote a couple albums to let out some aggression
I hate that I’m so
Self-deprecating
More comfortable in bad situations
Sucker for a little devastation
And this always happens
PANIC ATTACKS IN PARADISE
Piña coladas I’m terrified
I swear I’m not crying the sun’s just bright
I’m having the best time of my life
PANIC ATTACKS IN PARADISE
Hyperventilating under candy skies
Telling myself that this is fine
I’m having the best time of my life
It’s a big joke
HA HA I love laughing
It’s a big hoax
Your self-help happy
Cuz I’m okay
I’m pure propane
On an open flame
Watch me blow up
My boyfriend wants me love me but I won’t let him
I’ve been predisposed to trauma since I was eleven
So I wrote a couple albums to let out some aggression
I hate that I’m so
Self-deprecating
More comfortable in bad situations
Sucker for a little devastation
This always happens
PANIC ATTACKS IN PARADISE
Piña coladas I’m terrified
I swear I’m not crying the sun’s just bright
I’m having the best time of my life
PANIC ATTACKS IN PARADISE
Hyperventilating under candy skies
Telling myself that this is fine
I’m having the best time of my life
#Ashnikko #PanicAttacksInParadise
I love that Ashnikko's music runs the gamut from "I'm the baddest bitch" to "I'm really struggling right now." She shows us that she's a real, multifaceted human being, not just a tough persona.
Yes!!! She’s being true to herself and I love that
Yeah it’s really refreshing, because as much as I want to feel like an empowered “bad bitch” I still have my low moments, times where I feel anything but okay. She’s real 🙌🏻
Xactly
Right! Like she has music I can rage to AND cry to!!
I love the song I listen to on repeat
It’s so refreshing having songs like this that represent experiencing trauma and just going through life with it. Makes your feel less alone.
Same🤧🤧
No, it's really not. This honestly seems like a mockery of it. I was recommended this because I research mental health and I'm honestly appalled that this is now an aesthetic.
As a person w a lot of trauma, hell yeah it makes me feel so much less alone. I was diagnosed with PTSD when I was 15, and only now, at 18, have I met anyone else with trauma. Ive felt so alone for so long, but I'm so glad to see so many strong folks sharing their stories, makes me think I can be strong too.
@@Grimm_Butterfly so now people can't be truthful and honest about their mental health through art because its "mocking"?
Yessss, like so many people genuinely go through panic attacks on the regs, and I’m pretty sure she’s mentioned before struggling with anxiety. I think this breaks down that wall of ‘oh celebs are always confident and full of themselves’ like noooo, we’re all human, we all go through these things
This reminds me of when the old emo bands would randomly throw out a ballad and they were always so different than their usual stuff but some of the best songs. I hope this helped her release 💚
Kinda like When you can't sleep at night by OF Mice & Men
It was so good I had my first tattoo a quote from that song
Cringe Emo Gen Z Beta Male
@@susanebel7288 yesssss🥺
Yes omg 😢
“they call me polly pessimism im a macabre barbie” is just an incredible line to hear and fun af to sing, it makes perfect sense in context but also feels like your practically beatboxing when you sing along with it 😂
As a beatboxer, can confirm.
Feels like i'm hearing what i want or need to hear in a way i cant explain
A good way tho
foak.
Like i'm going through some drama myself and this is kinda what i'd think she'd tell me so yeah this hits pretty hard, dawg.
scrap that, not just think but hope.
Like unironically
If i heard her say these things to me
I think we're good
dude no joke her vocals are unironically legendary
Took me a while to realise lmaoooooooo@@TheTrueNyxa
And suddenly it feels a little like 2010 in here.
Because the video has a Katy Perry vibe
Also it is similar to no doubt's don't speak.
IKR
Honestly tho
I’m thinking of Lights
Bist du wirklich überall? Wundervoll
This is exactly how it feels to be mentally ill when everything around you is good, when you’re supposed to be enjoying your life because you’ve supposedly reached your ‘happily ever after’ by society’s standards but your brain is still broken and still reacting to trauma that happened to you years ago.
This song is truly a gift, thank you for sharing it with us ❤️
Very true !! You can have everything and nothing at the same time
🖤🖤🖤
so trueeeeeee
let me guess, your 6th grade bf cheated on you, im sure you have real ptsd now.
@@balthasargerard7246 I bet your mother is very proud of you
As someone with a lot of trauma I relate to this so heavily. "Safety" to others doesn't feel normal to me. I don't know how to function healthily in society or while interacting with other people so I have extreme social anxiety. My life *Should* be good but it's so hard trying to constantly convince everyone that you're fine when you know you aren't.
Hello, I don’t know where you are in your mental health journey right now, but I’ve been reading a book ‘the body keeps the score’ and have found it really helpful, maybe it can help you too. I hope you’re well x
@@tiffany3958 I've heard of that and wanted to read it... I totally forgot to write it down and look for it. So thanks for reminding me!
me too.... trauma brain is no joke. 😭
Do you feel it physically?
I feel this
This hits me differently. Reminds me of being in my teenage years, trying to process my trauma. Drinking all the time to hide the pain I was in. Being mad at the world all while wanting to be loved.
sounds like me now lmao. Any tips on processing trauma?
I've had alot of trauma. It always hurts but I always try to look on the outside looking in. I try to think of them in their mindset like being in their body. Maybe it's not as bad as it seemed on their side of things. It's really hard not to have friends. I usually write a note that bothers me and put it in a jar for God to take my worries away. Hope this helps
God damn that was the worst shit ever ☹️
@@krunch3444 remember to be patient with yourself, and don't be short with the child you were and the teen you grew into and might currently be. so much pressure on a little child can do so much damage down the line, you couldn't have done anything to get out or protect anyone but being older you have the chance to help that little scared child heal.
for me & my trauma, it feels like the early child 'died' young & i grew into a shell, but that little scared kid still pounds at my ribcage when something brings me right back to that house during a trigger. im pretty fragmented as a person but to me i feel like an outer shell protecting that little spark of innocence and wonder. i survived the abuse to safeguard the parts of me and us that couldnt make it. respect and assure that little kid, if you feel that's how your brain adjusted, that it's okay. if you're not safe yet, you'll get there. every piece of your mind and soul deserves space to breathe.
learn to love the little things so you have an anchor when things come back hard and fast. for me its space, trees, bugs, i love so much of life but it can flip on a dime. i love space so much because i feel small in comparison, which makes every issue i face pretty small too. be patient with yourself, you had it rough and you deserve to make mistakes and forgive yourself sometimes. EMDR i have heard can be immensely helpful, and i have seen it help my mother who has experienced massive traumas, she no longer has night terrors and is not emotionally attached to those memories anymore.
Oh that last sentence is me.
My understanding of the song:
You went to so much trauma to the point that when you are in a better and healthier stage of life you tend to feel anxious because you feel that whenever good happens there is a bad consequence after even tho there is not hence being trapped from the pain of the past. You don't even notice the good things around you anymore. You feel like its not "normal" if things go smooth in life making you have panic attacks in paradise
I relate so much and you just gave a great explanation of that feeling, I’m crying rn lol
That's how I feel now. I have great friends, a great mom, a new bf, etc. But...my trauma still holds onto me.
its so true. love your pfp and name btw.
I can only say how we call it. We call it the fuckening. It is that bad thing you have the feeling is waiting behind the next corner to get you cause everything was fine all day long. The fuckening makes me panic all the time and it stops me from having the best time of my life. It is hard to get rid of the fuckening. But I try my best.
My interpretation: your trauma and mental health getting in the way of something in your life you always looked forward to. It’s something you’re supposedly supposed to enjoy but you just can’t bring yourself to and you don’t want to be labeled as ungrateful or come to terms with the fact that you’ll never get to re experience now but you can’t deny that you’ve already lost your good years to mental health issues
Fact: Ashnikko is making everyone's day so much better with her song
SONGSSSSSS SHE ALSO IS POSTING MAGGOTSSS :D
Where's Melanie Martinez?
Yes
@@melaniemartinez3634 she never told that in this song there was going t be Melanie she said they are going to collab but she didnt tell that was in this song
Just- hsshjsbdhsbs Yass
1. I love that Ashnikko is showing a vulnerable side to ANY human period
2. She describes everything I would never thought you can and that me and other go through so damn perfectly
3. I feel ashnikko deserves more recognition
Ashnikko, I genuinely want you to know the impact you had on my partner. He passed in my arms at 34. This was one of his go to songs. I never fully understood it until I listened to it the day he passed.
Your music brought him such comfort in his final years. And the hidden messages mean so much to me. Thank you for being such an integral part of my partner’s life, and for giving me reason to keep going.
i was expecting a drop or a genre shift, but the whole song is better off being sentimental and meaningful as it is. ashnikko's songwriting is infectious, u bet im singing this in the shower for a week
i agree
Right, it's like damn Ashnikko expanding her genre.
Just a week more like for the rest of my life!!
Só uma semana? Ela ficará em meu coração! Nunca deixarei de canta-la
ua-cam.com/video/bfMKMlk3HlU/v-deo.html..
Ashniko got me ugly crying here. “Pre disposed to trauma since I was 11”. Why is this the story for so so many of us?! Love to you all
Same it hit so hard
It is the sad reality, those who don't relate are in denial... probably. We are all formed by our pain.
Yep i was since 8
I'm so sorry...
For me it's 7 instead of 11..
Who else listened to this song on repeat for an hour and cried because it was relatable. I feel this and then I feel selfish because you have everything you ever wanted and you're still fucking depressed...
That feeling doesn't go away, even when you have lost everything you've ever wanted as well..... We're both in the same boat-I hooe you don't let yours sink.
Me ✋ I can relate to this song a lot
This song was such a bold yet vulnerable and respectable move I genuinely hope we get to understand and get to know ALL the sides of ashnikko that she's comfortable sharing. Thank you queen the world is so so brutal, and I feel you provided many many girls that didn't have that perfect song that they could escape with.... scientifically humans like sad music because we typically can relate and therefore at the very least feel less alone in our sorrows.... thanks for the nice brain tingles with this one.... although I must admit now I just want to hug everyone in the comments and ash..... like don't worry I love the fuck out of you no return necessary pls
thanks for sharing
It's crazy how versatile she is. Every song by her sounds so different and I love it
slowed it down : ua-cam.com/video/KpybprG8Qzo/v-deo.html
ikr, she always sounds great tho lol
Omg same she's so amazing
She’s literally like the artist where i love everything she does even though its all so different
Truly, Idk how she doesn't have more recognition.
"ive been predisposed to trauma since i was 11" i was literally 11 and now im taking that man to court, hes facing 35 years and these lyrics sent chills down my spine
I hope you find peace from whatever you're going through 😘
i hope you're okay, wishing all the best for you 💚💚💚
i was 8. he's in jail on a charge for having relations with a disabled adult that's been in his care for years. talked to the detective this morning. we aren't letting him out again. im here for you, however sad it may be to not be alone
You are not the bad guy here believe me this was me im an adult now don't you waste one day blaming yourself or feeling sad. That makes them trash not you !!!!
I hope you are ok❤️ stay strong
I love how real and honest she is, she's not trying to sell us this always confident always happy or goofy persona she gets to be honest, I watched her in live concert and she was so sweet to the public, and really engaged with it. She definitely cares for her fans in a good way
何度聞いても、その度に心が軽くなるようで何度も聞いちゃいます
アシュニコちゃんの曲大好きです
The line “I swear I’m not crying the suns just bright” really hits me. Something about that little statement rings with so much emotion
It’s okay to cry 🤗
@@Niiopii -SOPHIE
Lmfao that’s me really crying but blaming it on the sun
This song really speaks to me. The thought of trying to convince yourself you’re okay because your current environment is, when really that doesn’t always make a difference.
THIS. Thats why mental health is so important and should be an accesible human right. ✨
It's kinda odd how we normalized talking about diseases like diabetes or high blood pressure but we haven't normalized talking about mental health
same
@@meringuesheaven7950
I know. I'm just saying we should normalize it.
slowed down version : ua-cam.com/video/KpybprG8Qzo/v-deo.html
"I hate that I'm so self deprecating". Ty for releasing this into the world
Typical of me to go and ruin the party
Everybody says they love me, but I'm still brokenhearted
They call me Polly Pessimism, I'm a ma-macabre Barbie (I love you)
My boyfriend wants to love me, but I won't let him
I've been predisposed to trauma since I was 11
So I wrote a couple albums to let out some aggression
I hate that I'm so
Self-deprecating, more comfortable in bad situations
Sucker for a little devastation
And this always happens
Panic attacks in paradise
Piña coladas, I'm terrified
I swear I'm not cryin', the sun's just bright
I'm havin' the best time of my life
Panic attacks in paradise
Hyperventilating under candy skies
Tellin' myself that this is fine
I'm havin' the best time of my life
It's a big joke
Ha ha, I love laughin'
It's a big hoax
Your self-help happy
'Cause I'm okay
I'm pure propane
On an open flame
Watch me blow up
My boyfriend wants to love me but I won't let him
I've been predisposed to trauma since I was 11
So I wrote a couple albums to let out some aggression
I hate that I'm so
Self-deprecating, more comfortable in bad situations
Sucker for a little devastation
And this always happens
Panic attacks in paradise
Piña coladas, I'm terrified
I swear I'm not cryin', the sun's just bright
I'm havin' the best time of my life
Panic attacks in paradise
Hyperventilating under candy skies
Tellin' myself that this is fine
I'm havin' the best time of my life
“I’ve been pre-disposed to trauma since I was eleven” 😭😭😭 me too hon, even younger. Thank you for speaking your truths and being so authentically you. You’re stronger than you know and bring so much empowerment to the rest of us 💕
slowed down version : ua-cam.com/video/KpybprG8Qzo/v-deo.html
Same😭😔🙎♀️
Yeah this song always makes me cry. From a much younger age unfortunately
Same here I had to see fights at home a lot of times very hard to see
I feel like so many artists right now are moving into this fantasy theme (in response to the awful few years we've had?) and I'm here for the way they're all doing it, but this incredible performance has got to be my favorite.
Yeah her, Doja cat, Melanie Martinez their concept is related with fantasy theme. Early 2000s style is also coming back.
@@flymetotheup9904 Even Megan and Latto are doing it! I love the vibes
yeah also Lil nas x and Halsey ^^
but my fave of all has always have been and always will be Melanie Martinez
And Lorde "disappeared into the sun"
Lady Gaga as well
I've heard this song, and actually didn't realise it was Ashnikko. This is a feel, a new depth to her, wow
This song is amazing. I almost cry every time I hear it. It makes me feel not so alone and that its okay. Living with childhood trauma is so f*cking hard and makes adult life so frustrating. My heart goes out to everyone who feels this song in their soul.
Agreed
i discovered ashnikko at the end of last year and i have become so obsessed with her and her music, she hasn't brought out one song i dislike which is rare for an artist to do. i'm so excited for this song and maggots and everything else to come, i'm hoping she becomes one of the biggest artists in the world she really deserves to
Same, found her through STUPID and I cannot get over her!!
SAME GIRL SAME ,FOUND HER FROM DAISY AND NOW I LOVE HER TOO MUCH, ASH LITERALLY CONTROLS MY EMOTIONS
SAME
I love the song daisy!
I found her from melanie martinez and I do not regret it I love herrrrr
The sad reality of anxiety, depression, PTSD or just trauma in general is that they never truly go away, no matter the circumstances. You could have money, love, fame, be going to beautiful places everyday, doing amazing things with your life & they still pop up. Thank you Ashnikko for being transparent and making a song like this, it's so important!
I suffer from all
It’s as real as it gets
@@sunmoon3147 seconded.. it's weird to think that most people aren't just like. Scared or on the edge all the time in public, or that even in the safest places I'll still be affected by it all. It sucks.
@@anabelleclark7904 finding out people arent anxious about everyone aroind them hating them all the time wasnt normal was... shocking
Mushrooms, try mushrooms
@@mcoehlrich nooo
Ash is talented in so many things but writing is her strength. This song is so beautiful, heart-breaking, honest and wonderful.
being multifaceted as an artist is so rare and difficult, I am so glad I was lucky enough to have gotten to see/hear so many sides of this person. I truly dig every song and video. top shelf master of her craft.
Ashnikko is an artist that needed to be noticed. I’m glad she’s getting all the attention, she deserves it.
I'm crazy about this song.. watch me sing this song on my channel:
ua-cam.com/video/0FlzmxzrmNM/v-deo.html
Exactly she is underrated
the fact that she has so many different moods in her songs but this one speaks to me the most
How lol? May I ask? :)
@@i.dle.k you didnt get what?
I can so agree her voice gives me the chills tho
slowed version : ua-cam.com/video/KpybprG8Qzo/v-deo.html
😩💕
We really need more songs like this from her 😭😭😭😭🥺💖
fr 😭😭💕
true
Song loses its specialty if she makes others that sound like it.
I cryed to 😢
I have to admit.. someone maybe 2, 3 decades younger than me has been able to articulate the words that I've been too afraid to say out-loud. I f**ckin' love Ashnikko bcz she,.. you.. you say things that I (and my generation of women) have been afraid to convey. I LOVE everything about your songs, your videos, your message. I adore your strength and how you make your weaknesses a PART OF your strengths. Thank you.... Thank you so so much.
This a whole different vibe from Ash but love it so much
Seriously though this Vibe is so different yet so refreshing from her
If you havent heard the song Confidence that ash's in its beautiful
Go away TikTok you ruin everything,
It reminds me a bit of "Your Power" by Billie Eilish, not so much in the lyrics, but more so in the unexpected acoustic sound.
Sounds similar to Good While It Lasted tbh
"Everybody says they love me but I'm still broken hearted"
"I've been predisposed to trauma since I was 11"
"My boyfriend wants to love me but I won't let him"
This song is an anthem for those of us who grew up unloved, at our wits end, struggling to make sense of how hard the world is. Even when it's all years gone by and time has passed you still retain all these little behaviors and hardships emotionally. It's hard to accept love, it's hard to trust. It's more comfortable to feel chaos than it is to be in peace. It's all in this song and I love Ash for this. It's had me crying all day. Thank you.
"Sucker for a little devastation" really spoke to me too because, yeah, the chaos is what becomes normal. You get so comfortable with being miserable because that's all you've known and to have it any other way is terrifying as hell. What do you have if you don't have that constant negativity, anger, sadness, etc, ya know? Those feelings have been more permanent than happiness/peace. Not to be edgy or anything! .-. This song just speaks to the damn soul!
@@xxTheRahxx yeah, it kind of feels "wrong" to be happy or when people are being nice to you. personally for me, realized it when i was 9. kind of makes you think what life would have been like if it wasn't like this
I've been with my husband 5 years, it took 3 for me to trust him and fully love him. I love this song, I love you guys. You're always worth it. 💖
@@MisstressMourtisha Been with mine for 10 yrs & I feel this SO HARD! 😥 It's hard for him to understand growing up not just broken, but shattered & having to put yourself back together over & over. Thankfully, he's the most supportive person I've ever had in my life & his family is amazing & so welcoming! Couldn't have asked for a better partner! 🥰
Haha let's make a country
this song is so different to her others, it’s just so soothing, the lyrics and her voice, i’m actually obsessed
This song's lyrics were written, not to mention composed in such a melancholy comforting sort of way. I still get chills, choked up and start feeling empowered whenever I sing along.
Honestly, it's such a tragically beautiful ballad, that I believe a lot of people needed to hear. It takes a lot of acceptance, healing, forgiveness and inner strength to open up like this (not to mention publicly) sharing vulnerabilities with a friend or family member is challenging for me, so sharing, opening up to and accepting anxiety in such a nonchalant way is EVERYTHING. Blessing the Universe with this masterpiece that's had such success is very encouraging plus just very inspiring for me as a writer myself.
Thank you.
other than the fact that i'm sobbing to this song, the style Ash has been exploring is so beautiful, the fae/medieval/ type of fashion with that modern almost psychedelic feel. I just... mwah chef's kiss
slowed it down : ua-cam.com/video/KpybprG8Qzo/v-deo.html
Might be her most personal song yet. Though..I'm a new fan and haven't heard everything yet. She's soulful here, and great in any genre. She's great!!
There are a couple deeper songs on her last album. If you haven't yet, check out Cry, and Good While it Lasted ✌
slowed down version : ua-cam.com/video/KpybprG8Qzo/v-deo.html
And all Halloweenie songs!!
@@kobitobin1449 1 and 3 are my fave lol
It’s really nice to hear her write and sing like this. I love all her versatility
i was honestly throw off guard by how beautiful this was; it was still keeping her locked up heart vibe, but this time she’s actually letting it out. i relate to this all too well it it’s so perfectly written.
This song is so beautiful. I love how it shows such a vulnerable side of Ashnikko that we haven't seen yet. Thank you for sharing this with the world and making everyone feel less alone.
I second that, Ive loved her alt-pop loony-toons alter-ego that commands fantasy and chaos with ease, SO THIS is a whole new raw, even More REAL, nearly softer side of her. 🤍
I truly adore her ~ as Ashnikko takes her rising platform of brazen unselfconsciousness, she definitely deserves the recommendation and recognition for this number. I relate so hard living in Sin City, saw her at life is beautiful, and she was incredible live as well.
Yas💞
If u feel lonely than itz because lotta ppl are watching vids like those like they are hypnotised while being sorrounded by alot of ppl.
@@MrPuup ummm no. Not at all. It’s a mental thing. I can be in a room full of people and still feel alone. Has nothing to do with watching videos. Luckily you must not have this issue or you would understand. 🤷🏼♀️
@@organizedchaoss yea its a mental thing. And watching vids like that decreases ur mental health imo. Ofc there are alot more reasons of being lonley. I know u and feel u and i hope that u get better mentally.
I can’t express how much I love this. I never thought I’d cry at an ashnikko song…just shows how versatile of an artist she is…Damn I have all the fucking feels rn
ua-cam.com/video/bfMKMlk3HlU/v-deo.html..
same love 😭
This song makes me cry each time I hear it. I feel her pain while also feeling my own. It's cathartic
Ashnikko. Respect. Love the kick ass, take no prisoner songs, but this one really shows her creative range. Plucking some heart strings here.
Why is no one talking about the metaphor at the end whereby Ash reaches with hope for a nice, "red, garden of happiness and eve type shit apple" drops the apple, we are shown it is infested with worms instead... To me, this is anxiety stopping me from reaching for anything that looks pleasurable or exciting, in the fear that a panic attack will come along and therefore the cycle of avoiding pleasures in life continues. on and on. this is such a good masterpiece
Agreed girl
@@missleb3537 ☺️
@@brittclaire 😆
I just saw this, and i havent rlly thought ab it that way. Its so relate able, bc you just dont even know what you rlly want anymore bc your anxiety is preventing you from having a good time.
@@13unoo 🖤 thanks for taking the time to read my comment.. yes I feel that way. Hope you’re all having better days soon 😤✨
Fun fact: the official definition of perfect is ‘Ashnikko’
ua-cam.com/video/9gK3LDZCEHQ/v-deo.html
ikr
Wait, actually or just joke?
real fact❤️
Fun Fact: I can't see this copy + paste comment anymore.
This song means so much to me, I told my mom about something that has been going on for as long as I could remember that I realized wasn’t normal by around 9 ish. I told her right before I turned eleven. She immediately cut off contact with the one who did this, And now I’m in therapy. I now write songs to let out my emotions and sometimes record them. I’ve never showed my songs to anyone but it helps to cool down or distract myself. I listen to this song or repeat for a while until I feel like participating in life. “ I’ve been predisposed to trauma since I was eleven, so I wrote a couple albums to let out some aggression. I hate that I’m so self deprecating. “
I should be happy now that I've gotten out of a toxic environment, but sometimes I rlly want just a little 'devestation' to feel normal. This song is so therapeutic.
This reminds me of when I was on that cruise with my mom and sister. We saved up for years and finally went on this trip and we NEVER go on vacations. But 2 days out at sea, visiting amazing wonderful places. I still felt my depression follow me and I still ended up sobbing alone in a bathroom. Its hard to feel happiness even when everything around you /should/ make you happy.
Feeling like you were meant to feel better because of something you worked for and not feeling what you want is one of the biggest letdowns in my opinion. I'm glad and sad that so many people feel the same way as me and I wish you the best on your journey.
@@prestonjoiner1940 Ugh. I feel like I need to write about this feeling because I have it ALL THE TIME
I relate so much to this. I have had so many experiences like that. Moments I had literally waited my whole life for and even though they happened like something out of movie, like finding my birth family on ancestry and flying from CA to NY to meet them, everyone through a huge surprise party with a ton of family there and I still ended up locking myself in a bathroom panicking. I'm still me wherever I am, and sometimes I feel so damaged. My social anxiety and PTSD has me feeling like I don't belong anywhere even if I'm wanted.
slowed version : ua-cam.com/video/KpybprG8Qzo/v-deo.html
The “since I was eleven” line hit very close to home :’) the song is great and really emotional
I love how hazy the beginning is like trying to look through tears.
This song has me in tears every time I hear it. I've been running from addiction my whole life. I keep destroying my life because of the trauma that I put myself through. It all feels like comfort and happiness. I feel like I'm going to die any day now. The panic attacks have been intense the past few weeks. I need help. I need so much help. I'm so scared. Thank you for bringing this song into the world. I hope I can be alive to hear your next song that speaks to my soul this way.
I love how Ash makes songs like Daisy to bring herself self-confidence and ends up making us feel the same way.
Even if she is now fighting against PTSD, we trust her to beat it, kick it's ass, and letting it spitting the blood in the sink
You'll do it, powerful King!
Don't worry... She made this song... She'll be fine :)
who said she has ptsd 🤨
@venus
The lyrics talk about panic attacks and her being predisposed to trauma. Maybe I'm stupid but that sounds like PTSD.
I could be wrong, sure.
Don't misunderstood me, I'm not trying to diagnose her, just to be supportive.
@@DaydreamMila i mean yeah it could be, but you can have trauma related panic attacks without having ptsd. but i get what u mean
What I love about her is that she keeps reinventing herself, but it’s still her 🥰
Pisces energy ♓️💜
"I've been predisposed to trauma since I was seven" I scream it over the lyrics such great therapy! Thank you! Such a beautiful artist and poet ❤🎉😢
This song explains childhood trauma very well. Childhood trauma and especially those with CPTSD, results in a variety of long term issues that could fill up a whole book, but for what this song presents: relationship issues due to subconscious trust issues rooted in a malformation in brain development from an unfit caregiver, finding comfort in pain because its closer to what your brain has formed itself upon, and the fact that your are also a heck of a whole lot more disposed to further trauma once youve had childhood trauma.
I love how she can transform feelings everyone struggles with into catchy listenable music without watering it down or coming across as preachy
When things were at their very worst:
2 Suns, Cross in the sky, 2 comets will collide = don`t be afraid - repent, accept Lord`s Hand of Mercy.
Scientists will say it was a global illusion.
Beware - Jesus will never walk in flesh again.
After WW3 - rise of the “ man of peace“ from the East = Antichrist - the most powerful, popular, charismatic and influential leader of all time. Many miracles will be attributed to him. He will imitate Jesus in every conceivable way.
Don`t trust „pope“ Francis = the False Prophet
- will seem to rise from the dead
- will unite all Christian Churches and all Religions as one.
One World Religion = the seat of the Antichrist.
Benedict XVI is the last true pope - will be accused of a crime of which he is totally innocent.
"Arab uprising will spark global unrest - Italy will trigger fall out"
"Many events, including ecological upheavals, wars, the schism in My Church on Earth, the dictatorships in each of your nations - bound as one, at its very core - will all take place at the same time."
The Book of Truth
@@johnfran3218 Wow, I don't remember this page in the Farmer's Alminact
slowed version : ua-cam.com/video/KpybprG8Qzo/v-deo.html
Slowed it down : ua-cam.com/video/KpybprG8Qzo/v-deo.html
@@johnfran3218 wow that sounds jolly cool but who asked?
The lyric that gets me is “self deprecated more comfortable in bad situations.” Because I’m always hard on myself. I’m always tearing myself down and acting like I’m fine when I’m really not.
I can relate and I'm sorry :( hope things get better for you 💜
It's a state of existence. We are our own worst critic.
Keep going. Dont forget to let yourself feel happy occasionally.
I feel that. You’ll work through it, give yourself the most amount of love you have to give, and remember it is possible to retrain your brain over time. We are all just in temporary states that bleed into each other as we grow. Hold yourself accountable, but don’t hold yourself down. When you hear that negative voice in your head, whatever it’s telling you- slap that bitch and tell it to come correct because you only fuck with the voices that help you grow into more and more of a state of inner peace. That’s the goal: not perfection, but inner peace. You got this. 🤍
My year was 6. Trauma started there and has rarely taken a year off. I feel this song to my core. More than any other I've heard tbh. I'm glad she's getting the recognition and love she's deserved for years now 💜
This is so different from her other songs and it's epic...
*it's good to know she can sing these kinda songs too*
i FEEL THIS DEEPLY. I have a good life, traveled with my bf, we were in a beautiful place. Still found it so hard to not overthink at times. The process of healing trauma while improving your life is hard, changing from a bad place to a better one, but not totally in any of them. We are not ungrateful, we are dealing with life! We´ll carry on!
Same
Slowed it down : ua-cam.com/video/KpybprG8Qzo/v-deo.html
this song is kinda the only thing i can relate to. i'm mentally and physically exhausted and i'm scared that when something good happens it won't last for long, this song is just everything to me
I'm crazy about this song.. watch me sing this song on my channel:
ua-cam.com/video/0FlzmxzrmNM/v-deo.html
Same 😔
We stand with you. Here's your crown. We're gonna pull through this.
You have to check out Brené Brown/Peter Levine/Gabor Maté!!
Same! It's like when something good happened it's hard to cope with it because I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop and break my face ya know. 🤷
Your music and talent is literally saving lives!
I listened a lot to this song after absolutely acing my degree. I finally had some time to relax, everybody told me how proud they were of me and it was a beautiful summer but I just felt so shit about myself and my anxiety was still really bad. Everything was kinda perfect but I still couldn't let myself feel happy or satisfied with myself and my achievements. Traumatized people just have a hard time trusting in good things happening because we're just so used to everything going to shit eventually anyways. This song is amazing and always makes me feel a little less alone 💙
I find this comment relatable. I got a degree a few months ago and I can't find it in myself to feel proud or deserving of it in any way. Comforting to me to see someone similar (and who listens to the same song about everything...)
This has been on repeat since 8am, making me feel nostalgic and comfy. The lyrics are amazing, Thank you.
i love youuuu
I LOVE YOU!!!!!! (:
Definitely on repeat
I love this song
I'm crazy about this song.. watch me sing this song on my channel:
ua-cam.com/video/0FlzmxzrmNM/v-deo.html
Facts this is beautiful!!! Such a nostalgic vibe!!!… Her music speaks volumes that we can’t say!!!… She’s literally speaking for so many people and it’s beautiful!!!
OMGG! I REALLY LOVE THIS SONG 😭💙
:)
Jean cafe vc por aqui 💙
Menino, você aqui? Kk
amei o cabelo combinando azul +azul rsrsrs
𝙹𝚎𝚊𝚗 𝚟𝚌 𝚊𝚚𝚞𝚒 0𝚘0
This is honestly really refreshing and it has me feeling less alone.
Am a black guy from Jamaica 🇯🇲 and am loving this song so so much. This song lift me up wit a smile when am down
When you can’t really name what’s wrong and everything seems to be going right so you feel guilty and angry with yourself for still feeling depressed and anxious :(
I felt that
me literally right now
This song captures that SO well. I always thought this was something I could never talk about because I didn’t want to sound like “woe is me” or like I wasn’t TRYING to enjoy life. It’s a bittersweet feelings knowing others have this struggle. On one hand, I’m happy to be understood. On the other, it truly does suck never feeling satisfied no matter how much you accomplish
slowed version :ua-cam.com/video/KpybprG8Qzo/v-deo.html
My life summed up
One of the hardest parts of healing from trauma is re-learning how to live with and accept good and positive things or situations again. They at times can be more scary than the terrible stuff, because your brain is trained via trauma to expect it to all fall apart. I appreciate this song on so many levels.
Indeed
Yess I remember blocking a really toxic friend and having to adjust to the silence and it took a long time to get my own thoughts back in my head. It was so quiet and unsettling for a long time. Nobody is allowed in my head ever again except me.
I like how real and raw her music is it's just a bummer she doesn't always want to perform it bc it brings up trauma
i think this is one of my comfort songs
“More comfortable in bad situations” that line hits me
This is why I love her. She makes me feel like a bad bitch but she also gives music that describes my personality and mental health. No choice but to stan.
🥂💎🌌✨
They make me feel the same way, everytime they post a new song you never know if their new songs a bad bitch song or a real, depressed song, I love them.
PERIOD POOH
I would love to heir Ashnikko cover or even work with Trent Reznor. They both have a way with there vocals that very very few artists do.
I see where you are coming from. Would be cool. I just don’t know if Reznor would care enough. Wouldn’t be surprised if he hasn’t heard her.
GET IT GIRL
I feel like we live in an era where a lot of the hits and most popular videos are quite upbeat and catchy. It’s been so long since I’ve appreciated a more acoustic, raw or even slower paced song. This is very beautiful Ashnikko and I’m sure it’ll make a lot of people who listen to it feel a little less alone in their mental health situations :)
ZHONGLIIII
zhongli
“I’ve been predisposed to trauma since I was 11” When I was 11 years old I found my daddy passed away on our living room couch. I kept shaking him to wake up. He didn’t. Thank you, Ash. I didn’t know how much I needed this song until now.
Fuck I have an 11 year old daughter I'm so sorry F7
Oh my gosh.. I’m sorry
Man that hit me hard. So sorry x
You’re so strong. Thank you for sharing 🫂
I’m so sorry that happened
So happy I found this gem
it's sad from how she went from "I'm such a bad bitch, I'm cooler than most" to "I'm in need of a little help, I'm struggling." Like, it breaks me inside, but it's also good she's not just tough and humble.
I'm crying. Not sure why. But this song has awoken some kind of feels in me.
I agree
Bruh same. Wtaf 😅
It literally describes me
I'm crazy about this song.. watch me sing this song on my channel:
ua-cam.com/video/0FlzmxzrmNM/v-deo.html
I have panic attacks and this made me cry cause of the trauma I remember
i swear i've never felt so identified with a song like this before, thank you so much for creating this piece of art, i love every part, the visuals, the lyrics, the music, your voice, thank you Ash, i love you.
I hope everyone heals in ways that let them receive the Love they all deserve
Thank you for writing and singing this. It's perfect and make me feel like I'm not alone.
This song gives me the same feeling I got when paramore released “the only exception” like ten years ago. it’s sentimental, reminiscent and will most likely make me tear up if I listen too closely lol. Love this from her 💙💙💙
100%
💜💜💜💙🤭🤧
Yup!
Just came here to say this. Paramore vibes totally
This song, and her voice, it's so beautiful. I'm happy about how far you've come Ash! Keep up the good work!
I'm crazy about this song.. watch me sing this song on my channel:
ua-cam.com/video/0FlzmxzrmNM/v-deo.html
I love her so much. She is a breath of fresh air to the music industry. She is doing what she wants and her songs are so Original.
her voice? the autotuned voice? lmao this shit is terrible
@@sonderevokingbuns ikr, there's 100's of people singing in the fake accent cursive style, its so old and tired
I felt the “I swear I’m not crying, the suns just bright”
I'm back again to remind myself that all is not lost in the music industry.
This really hit hard after finally letting this boy into my life. I’m willing to try love again after 3 years of fighting panic attacks from a traumatic and abusive past relationship 💔
Okay but like, this song is exactly what I need rn.
I've just starting facing my trauma instead of pushing it away and pretending it's nothing, finally accepting that I'm, in fact, not all right and that that's okay.
Thanks for this song hun❤️
SAME!!!
slowed down version : ua-cam.com/video/KpybprG8Qzo/v-deo.html
Facts
She is so underrated
Christ, staring at 1:42 it’s so raw and heat wrenching to hear the emotion in her voice ❤️🩹❤️🔥❤️🩹 “‘Cause I’m ok, I’m pure propane, on an open flame, watch me blow up,”
Lyrics
Typical of me to go and ruin the party
Everybody says they love me but I'm still broken hearted
They call me Polly Pessimism, I'm a macabre Barbie (I love you)
My boyfriend wants to love me but I won't let him
I've been predisposed to trauma since I was eleven
So I wrote a couple albums to let out some aggression
I hate that I'm so self-deprecating
More comfortable in bad situations
Sucker for a little devastation
And this always happens
Panic attacks in paradise
Piña coladas, I'm terrified
I swear I'm not crying, the sun's just bright
I'm having the best time of my life
Panic attacks in paradise
Hyperventilating under candy skies
Telling myself that this is fine
I'm having the best time of my life
It's a big joke, ha ha, I love laughin'
It's a big hoax, you're self-help happy
Cause I'm okay, I'm pure propane
On an open flame (Watch me blow up)
My boyfriend wants to love me but I won't let him
I've been predisposed to trauma since I was eleven
So I wrote a couple albums to let out some aggression
I hate that I'm so self-deprecating
More comfortable in bad situations
Sucker for a little devastation
And this always happens
Panic attacks in paradise
Piña coladas, I'm terrified
I swear I'm not crying, the sun's just bright
I'm having the best time of my life
Panic attacks in paradise
Hyperventilating under candy skies
Telling myself that this is fine
I'm having the best time of my life
This song really resonates with me right now. I literally just went on my first vacation in years last week and I thought all my stress would go away and I'd feel so good. Really devastating to realize that's not how anxiety works and I ended up breaking down in the middle of the week at the realization it wasn't the situation I was in at home but it's a part of me and I can't run away from it. Thank you so much Ash
Her background is giving the best aesthetic😭🌷🌸
As a person with severe anxiety & crippling depression , master of running things , this brings tears