From my perspective in transitioning: I identified as a gay cis man for about 10 years of my life, around age 12 to 22. When I started my transition I felt a lot of attraction to other trans women and also cis women. About half a year into my transition I felt like pansexual was the best definition to describe my sexuality. It felt strange liking women after being only interested in men for so long but it’s so amazing the energy I feel with other trans women and other trans folks in general. As of right now I identify as a trans pan woman. 💜
im a little like this as well!! it still feels realllyyyy weird to me because i feel like when i talk abt women people just see me as a gay man (i dont "pass" and i live with parents so a lot of intense internalized transphobia) and they think "stfu u dont like women" bc once in hs i was telling people im most likely bi and they said that no im too fem or whatever. so i think stuff like that has weighed on me for a long time and still affects me. but even besides that i dont feel sexual attraction to women the same way as i do to men but TBH i dont know that sex with men is smth i want to continue having (have only ever had sex with men with penises, also im 6 months on hormones) im just so very confused abt this bc i dont want to be attracted to men but i dont know if its possible to change that. im always wondering if sexuality is truly a "born this way" type thing or if i can play an active role in chnaging it. long story short im so utterly Confused. LOL
I find men attractive . Im homosexual trans woman .. I tried in the past to be women but I have no interest in them sexually . Im sexually inverted . Means I'm a male with female sexuality . I have an instinctive destate for vagina
What a great story, really eye-opening and insightful. I'm not trans nor am I on HRT or anything like that. But I present frequently as feminine and dress accordingly part of the time (some people would call me a "crossdresser" but the term doesn't sit right with me because I don't feel like I'm trying to dress "like a woman", I just feel like I'm dressing on the outside to in part match what I feel on the inside, and in part because the clothes feel better, more natural, more freeing, and I like how I look better in them than man clothes. But I'm not attracted to men at all, so I've been delving into this conundrum of presenting as feminine (crossdressing) but only being into women, and this exploration is what brought me to your video. I too live near San Francisco...
Thanks, Ashly. I'm a fem, gay male. What you just described is pretty much how I realised I was gay in my teens. I'm such a pushover for a sophisticated , confident man. 🥰I remember the first time that masculine energy field electrocuted me, I knew right there and then!
This makes total sense! Sexuality and gender are usually thought of separately but this just shows it’s not always true. How someone else makes you feel sexually is so important to one’s gender. This also applies to other aspects of your life too. Thanks for sharing this Ashley! Your videos are always so thought provoking!
My ex fiancé came out as lesbian to me about 6 months ago, I did identify as non-binary but I’ve since started using she they pronouns and am looking into hrt. it was very disheartening and gender disaffirming at the time but your channel has made me feel so real and empowered as a trans feminine person. Thank you :)
I haven’t started HRT yet, and I’m still pansexual, but I definitely understand what you mean. I just want a strong confident guy to embrace me. It’s like an odd urge to be vulnerable yet catered for it. Not that other women don’t turn me on, but the type of guys I like definitely shifted now too. It’s not even a pleasure thing, more a emotional satisfaction kind of thing.
I really appreciate you and thank you for all your videos. I'm 9 months into transitioning and been having a lot of struggles as u mention in a lot of ur vids and listening to you has been extremely validating and has finally got me asking myself the right questions in a healthy way. Keep being you, you are amazing
You are a rare one and well respected. I am glad that it is okay to say that you like trans women and specify non op or grs. For trans attracted men we discover late in life that first CD are interesting but go back to being men after the show. So discovering that there was this other type of energy out there was a revelation. Scary in the beginning but authentic. The Universe created you then the Universe created other humans to love you.
I think your right sexuality changes over time, for everyone. 80 years is along time on earth to always be attracted to the same type of person. Since starting transitioning I have found that I still like women but I don't like using my male genitalia. So I strap on for her and she straps on for me. I however have found myself attracted to certain male parts, not the male face, so when we get married we are going to try out a man together. I think being in a relationship where you both get what you want is great for allowing each other to be completely fulfilled. Always love your talks 💜
As a trans girl I started out liking women and when I started HRT I first was with a doctor who kept me in a low dose range and my sexuality never changed.. still liked women.. then a couple years ago I changed doctors who told me my E levels were too low to be effective so she took me off pills and put me on injectables and got my levels way up into the cis ranges and within 3 to 4 months I started noticing men. At first it was subtle then later became full on so I do believe that higher levels of estrogen changes or rewires the brain somewhat.. I know a lot of people and doctors don't always believe that but I think it does cause I had no interest in men prior to higher estrogen dosing now (though I still like women too) I "notice" guys all over the place.. and that's not a bad thing.
Your body thinks it could carry kids so you're noticing men because they can conceive you, I think it's natural instinct even if you don't have the ability to actually do it
Wow, your story about your first date with a man mirrors my experience almost exactly, except that I actually identified as asexual before going on HRT. Something clicked in my brain, and it wasn’t instant, but I finally understood my own sexuality for the first time when I became fully female-presenting. So glad I found your channel, I haven’t found many UA-camrs who talk about this kind of thing so frankly and relatably. Subscribed!
I dunno. It’s not something I like to think about. If I were to change back to what I was before, it would certainly make things awkward for me and my boyfriend, haha.
I've been bi ... forever, in fact I don't have a preference for any particular type. As long as a person is engaging, honest and reciprocating I am attracted to them. Of course I do have ideals ( certain presentations) that may cause me pause, those are really not that important. I've dated many types of people and find that no matter what they are I am the bottom to their top. Is that weird? Anyways, Ashley thanks for another great video! You are someone I consider a friend. Love you girl 💋❤️
Ashley ... (to, I suppose, quote George Takei) "oh, my"! So many revelations and dots to connect. Your "sex themed" vids always twist me up a bit, as in my current hormonal situation (where I am essentially "sexless"), I find it difficult to even begin to "map" to your experiences. It's certainly frustrating to hear that what you find especially attractive is what I used to be ... which flips over to wondering what sort of creature would find the current permutation of myself attractive, of an any use (being real short on gigs for standing guard over royal harems). On the other hand, I do find these looks into your world fascinating ... and do hope that you continue opening up like this.
@@AshleyxAdamson Ashley ... ah, but being in the transition phase to WHAT? I have no T, but it's not been replaced by anything (and I have no interest in having it being swapped for E). Of course, if I was true to MY long-time dysphoria, I'd be hoping to be able to echo Roman Emperor Vespasian's dying words: "puto deus fio" ... but that transition is a lot harder to achieve than shifting sexes (/genders)!
Wow, I respect your openness and thank you for sharing it. It helps me heal!!! It is not easy to speak on the subject without thinking of what your vessel has going on sometimes, thank you so much for putting your thoughts to words Ashley. Blessings
Interesting. I always thought sexuality was set in stone. That's my experience as a 36 year old straight man with no interest in men or male anatomy (aside from my own). But I enjoy hearing people's experiences.
That's what I desire to have a man treat me as a woman and I feel my femininity blossom to it's full potential Already my fem side is very powerful, it just needs that boost, I need that boost
I'm a mostly straight guy, but when you talked about your experience with that guy I could actually relate to that. I'm not romantically attracted to guys (as a man), but when I picture myself as a girl in that position and being feminine and submissive, it makes me turned on like crazy. I hope that's ok to say that.
@@MrRdh567 Thanks! It's a hell of a fantasy. I sometimes wonder why I have them and also an attraction to penises, without much attraction to men romantically. I guess we're all just weird in different ways lol.
I was a little surprised you weren't sure it was okay to share that. But I do get it. Your share was open and honest and did not ascribe anything to others, simply your own thoughts and experiences. I am very glad you did so. The idea that a cis guy can relate gives much hope in a time when trans folks are feeling a deep hurt and anxiety with the upside in popular hate against us. Sorry to get all serious, thanks for sharing 💋
@@georgethomas3329I apologize in advance for the long comment. I'm a very talkative person 😅 maybe you're just bisexual? I'm bisexual but lean towards men. I used to think it was a 50/50 split in my teens, then around 24 or so I started to realize I've never really went after women. Only ones I dated approached me. So I asked myself some introspective questions after me and my last female ex split as I was starting to explore my gender and sexuality more at that point, realized the emotional means more to me than the physical, and that I'm more emotionally attracted to men. It's more than just a fantasy for me. It's a desire. A desire to be the woman in a relationship with a man. I mean I'm only attracted to straight or bi guys or bi women. I'm not attracted to gay guys emotionally. I am somewhat physically attracted to trans women but I don't think I see myself in a relationship with one. No offense to them they just don't tend to have a masculine enough of a dynamic for what I need, I need a very masculine, sweetly dominant type of person to compliment my femininity. But tbh that is just a small part of it all. I have many other reasons for why I personally want to transition that have nothing to do with sexuality. It's also about my internal self and my discomfort with my assigned gender at birth. Also I didn't assume for sure I had gender dysphoria until I spoke to a professional about it and was diagnosed. Honestly wouldn't be able to accept myself as trans if I hadn't gotten the diagnosis. But that's a personal thing. Anyways, have you ever actually done it? Put yourself in the female position with a man? Growing up my first few sexual experiences were with men, and that was of my choosing. I also started dressing, doing my nails and even experimenting with a little makeup at around puberty. Some of that was in public even. Though never so far as to wear a dress in public. Hard to get a dress when your entire life is centered around trying to fit into a gender role that doesn't fit you. Anyways I hope this has helped, if you have any questions I'll try my best to answer them. There's nothing wrong with having fantasies nor desires as long as they aren't harmful. Infact I would say it's even okay to have harmful fantasies as long as you don't have harmful desires. Now what's "harmful" can somewhat differ depending on culture, but I think you know what I mean, it's okay to fantasize about cheating but it's not okay to act it out, and usually we don't just act out our fantasies we act out our desires. Our fantasies can be very disturbing sometimes. Words speak louder than thoughts and actions speak louder than words. So yea I mean if you don't really have a desire to live your entire life as a woman, and just have fantasies of being in the position of a woman, I wouldn't say personally that I think your trans. Though you might be. That's something you'll have to explore in yourself. Like how do you feel about your facial hair? When you see it in the mirror does it make you feel like you're not yourself? Does feeling it on yourself and looking at it in the mirror make you want to self delete? Have you ever fallen asleep wearing a bra and such because it just felt so comfortable? Would you wear girls clothes outside of the bedroom, and take that dynamic inside the bedroom to the outside world, taking on the female role in a relationship? I feel like these are important questions to ask yourself if you're thinking you may be a woman on the inside. Anyways I wish you luck in understanding yourself. I know it's not easy when some people traditionally think anything outside of their perceived norm is a bad thing. Just because youre attracted to guys doesn't mean you're trans, and just because someone is a trans woman doesn't necessarily mean they're into guys. And anyone of those or the in-betweens could be wonderful people or absolutely terrible people. There's a lot of nuance to it all. I've actually gotten closer to God, Allah, Yahweh, whatever name you'd like to put to it exploring all this in myself. When I was heavily atheistic the more masculine I tried to be. As I was finding my faith again (not prescribed to any specific dogmatic teaching) it was like at the exact same time I was being guided in this direction to transition. I'm agnostic for context. Again a personal thing. It's all very complicated and slightly different for everyone. Good luck in your journey of self discovery! 🩷
@@neowolf09 Thank you so much for the thoughtful reply. I think for me its just a fantasy, not a desire like you speak of. Although I would be open to experiencing it sometime. Like you said, I am probably just a little bisexual. 95% of the time, I am all about women. I had an ongoing gay experience as a teen, but haven't had that in years. It wasn't a relationship, just experimenting as a young person. We would watch porn and one day, we just started on each other, but never kissed. I wanted that, but I was afraid to tell him. It was just oral stuff for a long time. Eventually, he lost interest in it but I would continue to give him blowjobs because I enjoyed it so much. I felt a lot of shame over that but couldn't stop. Ever since then, I have had an interest in just c*ck in general and watched bisexual porn, most of which was terrible lol. I would like to have full gay sex but I've never felt comfortable enough to pursue it. I worry about online hook up apps and stuff like that. Anyway, thank you for your very thoughtful reply and sharing your experience!
I like your video. I have almost zero sexual experience but I think I am sort of a lesbian or trans-lesbian but I have evolved a little because I recognize that I may very well like guys too. I have never had the experience of being fully treated as a woman like you, Ashley but almost all of the important citizens in my life are women. I also now know that I have an entertainment personality and like to flirt with everyone which can get dangerous for me even though I do not dress provocatively! Sadly I do not seem to get along well with other trans women.
I hear you, as a non-binary person (AFAB) my sexuality is evolving and I enjoy the new experiences, even if its not sex as I use to define it. I am open to way more kink exploration then I was even a year ago. For me I think it is due to accepting my authentic self. I have no mask on of woman or man. I am just me, an individual with a heart and desires. I want to see where that journey takes me.
When I was a little boy, 1st through 5th grades, it took me a very long time to realize that boys were supposed to act one way, and girls another. I had to actively hide my feminine nature, and act like a boy. I presented as a man, married, fathered a child, but was constantly afraid that somehow, someone would find out it was all an act on my part. I always thought I was a hetero male, who had a kink for women's clothes. But after my divorce, I met a man while I was out dressed. And, as Ashley said, he was so masculine, and made me feel so feminine, that I knew then, I was a transwoman. And when he took me to bed, well, I was convinced that I had been missing out on who I truly was, all my life
ahh this is such a good and helpful video 😭😭 navigating my orientation is what led me to realizing I was trans/nonbinary and it’s so hard trying to figure out what works 😭😭 I love all of your videos I wish trans communities talked about stuff like this more 🥺🥺💕💕
Hi! Thank you so much for this. I realized I was transfemme almost 3 years ago and for most of that, I had been romantically and sexually attracted to girls, along with being romantically attracted to one fictional guy. I still have not been able to get HRT for reasons, and that might be the case for another year, but half a year ago I started reslizing I was sexually attracted to guys, and the more I explored that the more I realized I was really sexually attracted to guys, particularly like masculine older men with like beards as you mention. The idea of having them just treat me respectfully like a woman (I don't completely identify as a woman specifically but like yk), and being vulnerable with them, and serving them just like makes me go crazy. I'm not really sure why really, and I've often felt disgusting or ashamed of it because I also have a fear/hatred of men that I can't deal with right now, and also I just feel like as a girl I'm not supposed to like these things and I'm supposed to be into softer men. Romantically I don't know if I could like the guys I would go crazy for sexually, and that's always made me feel conflicted about why I have such a discrepency and how that would change my relationship with any guys if I were to romantically date them. But, it's very validating to hear another trans person talk about her attraction to the same type of guy I tend to like. I think I will feel a lot of shame about it for quite a while due to a lot of factors, and I'm not sure if or when I'll be okay with my sexual preferences with guys, but I still really appreciate this video and I'll definitely be coming back to it a lot. I love your channel and the videos you make, thank you for everything you do ^_^
This is a great topic. I am pre HRT so nothing other than my own internal desires going on. I've never been with a guy but the more time I spend in my femme gender, the more I find I am wanting to meet guys, I am often thinking about d*ck, it's a matter of time I think until I act on it. I've always denied my interest in guys, even to myself, but the more accepting I am of my trans nature, the more I am able to accept my other desires. Thank you for your videos, they really help me!
As knowing I was a MTF transgendered person since I was 10 years old, from the first time I had sex with a girl, I knew something was off. I felt that I should've been the woman while having sex. This caused me a lot of problems emotionally through out my life. Then it got to a point that sex was no fun. From that point on I stopped dating all together since I knew I was not going to get any pleasure from having sex.
Studies are showing that HRT is altering the brain and even immune system, so a shift of sexuality could presumably well be influenced by HRT, it could also be a simple psychological shift based around the perception of being accepted for who you are. 🤔 In the end, whatever may be at play, the simple thing that matters is that the individual experiencing such a shift is happy with who they are. So congratulations and good luck with your progress. Happy for you
For me, I feel like I was always into guys, but it took transitioning to be comfortable with it? Because I was never into gay men, but straight men get me all 🥵🥵🥵. I almost wonder if I was always straight (I only dated two women before transition and it was extremely uncomfortable), but then every once in a while I’ll see a gay girl that just gets me kinda 😳😳. But it’s never a romantic feeling, I only feel romantic towards men. I hesitate to call myself bi, and most times I just sat I’m a straight woman, but I just don’t know. Men make me feel f**k*ng electrified and magical, they bring out the feminine delicate side in me
As a CIS-gendered hetero male, I find you attractive, Ashley, for what it's worth. If I lived on the west coast, I would be interested in dating you. I say that to boost your confidence, as a woman, because if I feel that way about you, surely other men do as well.
@@AshleyxAdamson You're welcome, Ashley. That wasn't meant as a cheap come on, but an actual sentiment. I'm sure there will be plenty of nice men there in Portland who would be very interested in dating you. I wish you all the best of luck and happiness.
I masqueraded as a straight guy before I transitioned. Now, I'm a year and eight months into transition and I still like women. Men have never been on my radar. Only three times have men hit on me. Two of those times were while I was at work. The first of those, some guy catcalled me while I was stocking nail polish. The second time, I had to refill an endcap and this other guy tried to back the mack on me, even questioning my gender. On one hand, it's affirming because it means I'm being read as a woman. But on the other hand, I don't want guys hitting on me at all. When I go out, I typically go to gay bars because I know men won't try to hit on me there. Maybe it's because I'm a femme girl. I get gussied up when I go anywhere, even if it's just to the store and back home. As for my taste in other women, I go for other femme girls. I'm attracted to femininity. That's not to say I wouldn't give a tomboy or cute butch the time of day, though. And I don't care if a woman is cis or also trans. Out of the five women who've caught my eye since I began HRT, four of them are trans. Unfortunately for me, two of them are straight. One's a lesbian like me but she lives in D.C., and that's a three-hour drive away from my house in southern Delaware. The other woman is bi, lives about an hour's drive away from me across the state line in Maryland, and she's REALLY caught my eye. "Charlotte" and I met at a TDOR vigil back in November. We've met up again at various times since then, even hanging out. We get along great; we like at least some of the same stuff. This is on top of our shared experiences. Charlotte is a widowed single mom with two sons; I met those sons when I met her. "Dilbert" is 16 and "Wenceslas" is 10. They both seem to like me. Now, bear in mind that I've never dated a single mom, a widow, or a widowed single mom before. I want to shoot my shot with her but I'm still quite shy. To date, I've been letting things happen organically. Part of it is anxiety over how I'm supposed to compete with the memory of a deceased spouse. Charlotte has a tattoo commemorating her late wife. Understandable. But I often wonder how I'm supposed to compete. Any advice?
fascinating video thank you, Im a straight submissive male I personally have not had a good experience so far finding someone but also struggle with anxiety.
This was really relatable to me. Although mine happened in the opposite order. I discovered my interest in men after growing up thinking I was straight, bc I was into women also. Then later on I figured out I was a trans woman, the bonus was I got to reacquaint myself with men in a more feminine role which was super validating and amazing. My interest in women has just kinda been sitting on the back burner until recently when I've had a similar reacquaintance. Tldr: Trans girl figures out she's still pansexual after transitioning.
You are gorgeous Ashley love the outfit you are completely right sexuality is always changing it's not rigid set in stone love you Ashley very intelligent video
Straight Male here... Just wanted to call out that fire hazard of cords and power strip right in the middle of the floor.. anyways be safe out there 👍🏻
I had a weird situation growing up knowing I was trans. My parents had heated conversation with me when I was 12. They asked if I was gay. I said “no”, because being that I felt feminine inside it seemed gay to be with women. I did have sex with many women but it never worked out because I felt that the roles needed to be reversed. It wasn’t until I started my transition and having sex with men in a way that let me be feminine that I finally felt right with my sexuality.
Lived a ostensibly het-cis normative lifestyle. My ex spouse never seemed to realize that there was very much that was gay going on due to being trans, not because I didn't tell her as I did, but still there are valid reasons why she never seemed to know. At the same time I've always had an attraction to men as well, but never really got to explore that part as my ex was quite clear on us being in a monogamous relationship. For reasons I won't get into, when she declared herself polyam near the end of our relationship her proposed polycule fell apart due to distrust between myself and the man she wanted to have as an additional partner. It was unfortunate too because at the time my ex equated polyam with group sex, not necessarily wrong but there is of overlap, and it might have been a nice opportunity. But the public name calling I experienced from the proposed partner was more than I could stomach. Five years and one bad therapist from the separation, now divorced, I finally decided that I couldn't hold off transitioning any longer and I found myself a therapist I felt I might be able to trust. I've been on Cyproterone Acetate and Estradiol for over a year and a half now. Unfortunately it was the time of the cove and I found my sexual exploration and romantic interests limited to mediated electronic experiences. Oddly not unlike my first sexual explorations and such. I don't think Estradiol has changed my sexual orientation, but I do think transitioning has made me much more comfortable in my own body and has given me several levels of confidence boosts. I also have allowed myself to experience things more intensely so, even though I am experiencing arousal differently than before, I think I feel it more intensely too. When I want someone of some particular gender, or combination thereof, I feel it through my whole body. God, I feel I have to sit down sometimes! lol
Hi Ashley, Do you think that watching trans porn as cis male, and then transitioning into a trans woman, and then watching straight porn thinking that I am not a straight woman, after decades of only being attracted to women in the street (still I am), is the product of sexual conditioning? rather than a true shift in sexual orientation? In essence, do you think that sexual fantasies and ability to only orgasm in the presence of certain porn will shift your sexuality and attraction to match your fantasies? OR the interest in porn is simply the product of "projection" on one self true transformation of sexual attraction? Cheers and love from San Fran, CA.
@@AshleyxAdamson I'm a straight man and I date only straight biological women, I don't like trans women because straight men don't date other physical men. so you are a physical man but living as a female who doesn't date a trans man or gay man or bisexual men, but you want a straight man who doesn't date another man, how is that even possible? I'm straight and I don't see the logic in that. because I do know men who say that they are straight, but in reality they are, bisexual or gay or all the other gender but not straight.
Ashley, thank you for such expressive honesty. I feel your messages and applaud them. Personally, I have repressed my honest feelings for 55 years as I am now 79. Luckily, I have some wonderful family and friends that support my being out with them. The sexual euphoria I can now feel is wonderful, and that is what I mean, listening to you with a sense of community affirmation.
I'm a cisgender bisexual man. In my mind, go with what you like. Men, woman, Transgender, whatever works for you at the time. All is good with consenting adults. Life is to short to box yourself in. Also, I love your channel. Good stuff.
I wonder how much of the libido decline etc from hormone therapy plays in now liking the banana? No procreation so the brain and body switch over? Great discussions you have on this channel
I have given up on straight or gay, there is Bi, that's marginally better. I am a human who loves other humans. And I can love whoever I want. level up, no pigeon hole, no marker, no this, no that. Human loves human X
Same here bro. In saying that, I have a big fetish for Trans, but I want to end up with a girl when I am ready to settle because I want my own children
What if you've explored both men and women and found that you're really not into sex at all and are asexual? How does transitioning and HRT affect being that? This is a very sex positive video, but does estrogen change your sexuality from formerly being only into women to being sexually attracted to men?
I'd love to give a relatable response here but I have the curse of being a 27 year old virgin whose not on hormones yet lol! And I've ony had one relationship in my life so far. :p It's complicated.
@@AshleyxAdamson why the delay? What are the risks? What can go wrong, and what % of patients have such adverse effects ( like fistula, long-term pain, and so on)?
When I first transitioned(started HRT) 5 years ago, I thought that Id always remain a, Lesbian. Then about 2 years ago now, guys started to look real yummy,. I have a theory that it has something to do w/ the Progesterone I had started a year earlier,,. YMMV :)
@@AshleyxAdamson Yeah... As in the big O AKA orgasm and not being able to reach the top of Mt Everest anymore. Something has changed. I have very little sex drive now too. It's kind of weird to be honest. Maybe the decades of HRT? Age? No clue.
Don't over analyze yourself, okay just feel it out. Their is no pressure remember that, you will become who you are only if you are honest to yourself and not try to bend to preconceived expectations. Anyways good luck 💋
You are amazingly honest and forthcoming. But you see the problem, from a hetero guy's perspective. Only a small % of females and males really enjoy receptive anal sex (and of those, for some, the enjoyment is sky high, which for the guy on top must be something to see) . So it's no surprise that many trans women kind of tolerate it but don't really enjoy it. Which is why, for many guys, a post op or cisgender is a better match.
"...some of the realest words she eva' spoke..." RIP Tupac Amaru Shakur in my old life i was a straight guy. i had children with 4 women. after about 3 years on hrt and amassing a multitude of isms between a man & women (trans woman) things changed... and i havent looked back. im 100% strictly dickly and tbh i generally lie to women who come on to me that i have no penis, NO THANK YOU ILL PASS
I have just started my transition, and haven't started HRT yet. So I'm sure that might change how I feel. (There's a little bit of excitement in not knowing exactly what I'm going to be after my transition.) Living as a man, I have always been super-into women, and have never had any interest in men. I like being with women a lot, although I've always preferred that the woman be on top. I'm curious, though, about the emotional aspect of relationships. I can kind of imagine that once I have a V, I might want someone to stick a P in it. But I can't imagine having an emotionally-fulfilling relationship with a man. Right now I only see women as someone I could have that with. But perhaps estrogen will literally change my mind.
I’m wondering why UA-cam recommended this video to me on a Sunday morning when I’m up early checking the News before Meet the Press comes on. Yes, I’m trans and I watched a lot of Ashley’s videos. Thank you Ashley : )
Interesting comment about you feeling getting nails done and hair done is more of a female thing, that makes you feel more womanly... being born a woman myself, I generally don't get my hair done, and I do have fake nails that I only use rarely.. so.. I don't feel that these things are what make me a woman or make me feel more womanly, it is nice to pamper and get dressed up, and it may be that for some that it makes them feel more womanly, but to me, being a woman is a lot more than just getting your nails or hair done. It doesn't even need to be in a woman's life, these things, so it was interesting to hear as I don't associate these things with being a woman, it CAN be for women, but, really, it is for anyone, or only for those who want to do them and like them, and it also doesn't have to be done and you can still be womanly, so I personally don't feel that these things are what makes me a woman, as they can be taken or left and still be as feminine and womanly as ever, regardless. It is the same for makeup, I don't use makeup really, very rarely, and when I do, it is only a tiny bit. So, these things are not what makes me a woman, to me, they are used by women a lot, not all though, but not actually what makes me a woman. I don't know what makes me a woman, to be honest... but to me, it isn't makeup, or getting hair or nails done, personally, as I feel like a woman and I don't really do these things... I feel hair and makeup and nails are more of a stereotype of a woman, maybe. idk.. either way, I am glad these things make you feel more womanly, in that instance, it is a real help, I feel. It really makes me think, what is a woman to me, if not makeup, or hair, or nails, to me???? I don't think I can put my finger on it easily... I hope I haven't offended anyone with this comment, I just wanted to put how I personally feel, as I was surprised that you said that you feel this way, as to me, it is totally different, personally.
From my perspective in transitioning: I identified as a gay cis man for about 10 years of my life, around age 12 to 22. When I started my transition I felt a lot of attraction to other trans women and also cis women. About half a year into my transition I felt like pansexual was the best definition to describe my sexuality. It felt strange liking women after being only interested in men for so long but it’s so amazing the energy I feel with other trans women and other trans folks in general. As of right now I identify as a trans pan woman. 💜
That's AMAZING! What an evolution and that must of been hella confusing to start :) Thanks for sharing your story! :)
I so identify with this, I am also (what I call) tran-pan :3
im a little like this as well!!
it still feels realllyyyy weird to me because i feel like when i talk abt women people just see me as a gay man (i dont "pass" and i live with parents so a lot of intense internalized transphobia) and they think "stfu u dont like women" bc once in hs i was telling people im most likely bi and they said that no im too fem or whatever. so i think stuff like that has weighed on me for a long time and still affects me. but even besides that i dont feel sexual attraction to women the same way as i do to men but TBH i dont know that sex with men is smth i want to continue having (have only ever had sex with men with penises, also im 6 months on hormones) im just so very confused abt this bc i dont want to be attracted to men but i dont know if its possible to change that. im always wondering if sexuality is truly a "born this way" type thing or if i can play an active role in chnaging it. long story short im so utterly Confused. LOL
@@AshleyxAdamson hi my sweetheart how are you doing OK 👍 👌 🙆♀️
I find men attractive . Im homosexual trans woman .. I tried in the past to be women but I have no interest in them sexually . Im sexually inverted . Means I'm a male with female sexuality . I have an instinctive destate for vagina
What a great story, really eye-opening and insightful. I'm not trans nor am I on HRT or anything like that. But I present frequently as feminine and dress accordingly part of the time (some people would call me a "crossdresser" but the term doesn't sit right with me because I don't feel like I'm trying to dress "like a woman", I just feel like I'm dressing on the outside to in part match what I feel on the inside, and in part because the clothes feel better, more natural, more freeing, and I like how I look better in them than man clothes. But I'm not attracted to men at all, so I've been delving into this conundrum of presenting as feminine (crossdressing) but only being into women, and this exploration is what brought me to your video. I too live near San Francisco...
Thanks, Ashly. I'm a fem, gay male. What you just described is pretty much how I realised I was gay in my teens. I'm such a pushover for a sophisticated , confident man. 🥰I remember the first time that masculine energy field electrocuted me, I knew right there and then!
@@caseypaige8147 i feel related to what you say
This makes total sense! Sexuality and gender are usually thought of separately but this just shows it’s not always true. How someone else makes you feel sexually is so important to one’s gender. This also applies to other aspects of your life too. Thanks for sharing this Ashley! Your videos are always so thought provoking!
Agree! Ashley's elaboration skills are so helpful... a perfect spokesperson.
My ex fiancé came out as lesbian to me about 6 months ago, I did identify as non-binary but I’ve since started using she they pronouns and am looking into hrt. it was very disheartening and gender disaffirming at the time but your channel has made me feel so real and empowered as a trans feminine person. Thank you :)
omg girl yeesss. This man was so big and strong and... well, It changed a lot for me as well.
Great and honest interview about changing sexual orientation dynamics. My wife is a trans woman and it's great to hear stories like this. Subscribed!
I haven’t started HRT yet, and I’m still pansexual, but I definitely understand what you mean. I just want a strong confident guy to embrace me. It’s like an odd urge to be vulnerable yet catered for it.
Not that other women don’t turn me on, but the type of guys I like definitely shifted now too. It’s not even a pleasure thing, more a emotional satisfaction kind of thing.
I really appreciate you and thank you for all your videos. I'm 9 months into transitioning and been having a lot of struggles as u mention in a lot of ur vids and listening to you has been extremely validating and has finally got me asking myself the right questions in a healthy way. Keep being you, you are amazing
You are a rare one and well respected. I am glad that it is okay to say that you like trans women and specify non op or grs. For trans attracted men we discover late in life that first CD are interesting but go back to being men after the show. So discovering that there was this other type of energy out there was a revelation. Scary in the beginning but authentic. The Universe created you then the Universe created other humans to love you.
I think your right sexuality changes over time, for everyone. 80 years is along time on earth to always be attracted to the same type of person. Since starting transitioning I have found that I still like women but I don't like using my male genitalia. So I strap on for her and she straps on for me. I however have found myself attracted to certain male parts, not the male face, so when we get married we are going to try out a man together. I think being in a relationship where you both get what you want is great for allowing each other to be completely fulfilled.
Always love your talks 💜
sounds like a good compromise !
As a trans girl I started out liking women and when I started HRT I first was with a doctor who kept me in a low dose range and my sexuality never changed.. still liked women.. then a couple years ago I changed doctors who told me my E levels were too low to be effective so she took me off pills and put me on injectables and got my levels way up into the cis ranges and within 3 to 4 months I started noticing men. At first it was subtle then later became full on so I do believe that higher levels of estrogen changes or rewires the brain somewhat.. I know a lot of people and doctors don't always believe that but I think it does cause I had no interest in men prior to higher estrogen dosing now (though I still like women too) I "notice" guys all over the place.. and that's not a bad thing.
THIS. after a year on E, BAM.
👍
@@AshleyxAdamson well the booty wasn't madefor large objects so be careful
I agree with you ❤
Your body thinks it could carry kids so you're noticing men because they can conceive you, I think it's natural instinct even if you don't have the ability to actually do it
Wow, your story about your first date with a man mirrors my experience almost exactly, except that I actually identified as asexual before going on HRT. Something clicked in my brain, and it wasn’t instant, but I finally understood my own sexuality for the first time when I became fully female-presenting. So glad I found your channel, I haven’t found many UA-camrs who talk about this kind of thing so frankly and relatably. Subscribed!
What would happen if you stopped HRT then?
I dunno. It’s not something I like to think about. If I were to change back to what I was before, it would certainly make things awkward for me and my boyfriend, haha.
I've been bi ... forever, in fact I don't have a preference for any particular type. As long as a person is engaging, honest and reciprocating I am attracted to them. Of course I do have ideals ( certain presentations) that may cause me pause, those are really not that important. I've dated many types of people and find that no matter what they are I am the bottom to their top. Is that weird? Anyways, Ashley thanks for another great video! You are someone I consider a friend. Love you girl 💋❤️
I have found myself wanting to have sex with a transgender girl
Ashley ... (to, I suppose, quote George Takei) "oh, my"! So many revelations and dots to connect.
Your "sex themed" vids always twist me up a bit, as in my current hormonal situation (where I am essentially "sexless"), I find it difficult to even begin to "map" to your experiences. It's certainly frustrating to hear that what you find especially attractive is what I used to be ... which flips over to wondering what sort of creature would find the current permutation of myself attractive, of an any use (being real short on gigs for standing guard over royal harems).
On the other hand, I do find these looks into your world fascinating ... and do hope that you continue opening up like this.
Yeah you're in the transition phase! But things will surprise you as you move and flow with things.
@@AshleyxAdamson Ashley ... ah, but being in the transition phase to WHAT? I have no T, but it's not been replaced by anything (and I have no interest in having it being swapped for E). Of course, if I was true to MY long-time dysphoria, I'd be hoping to be able to echo Roman Emperor Vespasian's dying words: "puto deus fio" ... but that transition is a lot harder to achieve than shifting sexes (/genders)!
Chaser
Wow, I respect your openness and thank you for sharing it. It helps me heal!!!
It is not easy to speak on the subject without thinking of what your vessel has going on sometimes, thank you so much for putting your thoughts to words Ashley. Blessings
Interesting. I always thought sexuality was set in stone. That's my experience as a 36 year old straight man with no interest in men or male anatomy (aside from my own). But I enjoy hearing people's experiences.
That's what I desire to have a man treat me as a woman and I feel my femininity blossom to it's full potential
Already my fem side is very powerful, it just needs that boost, I need that boost
I'm a mostly straight guy, but when you talked about your experience with that guy I could actually relate to that. I'm not romantically attracted to guys (as a man), but when I picture myself as a girl in that position and being feminine and submissive, it makes me turned on like crazy. I hope that's ok to say that.
@georgethomas3329. It is a fantasy and healthy.
@@MrRdh567 Thanks! It's a hell of a fantasy. I sometimes wonder why I have them and also an attraction to penises, without much attraction to men romantically. I guess we're all just weird in different ways lol.
I was a little surprised you weren't sure it was okay to share that. But I do get it. Your share was open and honest and did not ascribe anything to others, simply your own thoughts and experiences. I am very glad you did so. The idea that a cis guy can relate gives much hope in a time when trans folks are feeling a deep hurt and anxiety with the upside in popular hate against us.
Sorry to get all serious, thanks for sharing 💋
@@georgethomas3329I apologize in advance for the long comment. I'm a very talkative person 😅
maybe you're just bisexual? I'm bisexual but lean towards men. I used to think it was a 50/50 split in my teens, then around 24 or so I started to realize I've never really went after women. Only ones I dated approached me. So I asked myself some introspective questions after me and my last female ex split as I was starting to explore my gender and sexuality more at that point, realized the emotional means more to me than the physical, and that I'm more emotionally attracted to men.
It's more than just a fantasy for me. It's a desire. A desire to be the woman in a relationship with a man. I mean I'm only attracted to straight or bi guys or bi women. I'm not attracted to gay guys emotionally. I am somewhat physically attracted to trans women but I don't think I see myself in a relationship with one. No offense to them they just don't tend to have a masculine enough of a dynamic for what I need, I need a very masculine, sweetly dominant type of person to compliment my femininity.
But tbh that is just a small part of it all. I have many other reasons for why I personally want to transition that have nothing to do with sexuality. It's also about my internal self and my discomfort with my assigned gender at birth.
Also I didn't assume for sure I had gender dysphoria until I spoke to a professional about it and was diagnosed. Honestly wouldn't be able to accept myself as trans if I hadn't gotten the diagnosis. But that's a personal thing.
Anyways, have you ever actually done it? Put yourself in the female position with a man? Growing up my first few sexual experiences were with men, and that was of my choosing. I also started dressing, doing my nails and even experimenting with a little makeup at around puberty. Some of that was in public even. Though never so far as to wear a dress in public. Hard to get a dress when your entire life is centered around trying to fit into a gender role that doesn't fit you.
Anyways I hope this has helped, if you have any questions I'll try my best to answer them.
There's nothing wrong with having fantasies nor desires as long as they aren't harmful. Infact I would say it's even okay to have harmful fantasies as long as you don't have harmful desires.
Now what's "harmful" can somewhat differ depending on culture, but I think you know what I mean, it's okay to fantasize about cheating but it's not okay to act it out, and usually we don't just act out our fantasies we act out our desires. Our fantasies can be very disturbing sometimes. Words speak louder than thoughts and actions speak louder than words.
So yea I mean if you don't really have a desire to live your entire life as a woman, and just have fantasies of being in the position of a woman, I wouldn't say personally that I think your trans. Though you might be. That's something you'll have to explore in yourself.
Like how do you feel about your facial hair? When you see it in the mirror does it make you feel like you're not yourself? Does feeling it on yourself and looking at it in the mirror make you want to self delete? Have you ever fallen asleep wearing a bra and such because it just felt so comfortable? Would you wear girls clothes outside of the bedroom, and take that dynamic inside the bedroom to the outside world, taking on the female role in a relationship? I feel like these are important questions to ask yourself if you're thinking you may be a woman on the inside.
Anyways I wish you luck in understanding yourself. I know it's not easy when some people traditionally think anything outside of their perceived norm is a bad thing. Just because youre attracted to guys doesn't mean you're trans, and just because someone is a trans woman doesn't necessarily mean they're into guys. And anyone of those or the in-betweens could be wonderful people or absolutely terrible people. There's a lot of nuance to it all.
I've actually gotten closer to God, Allah, Yahweh, whatever name you'd like to put to it exploring all this in myself. When I was heavily atheistic the more masculine I tried to be. As I was finding my faith again (not prescribed to any specific dogmatic teaching) it was like at the exact same time I was being guided in this direction to transition. I'm agnostic for context. Again a personal thing.
It's all very complicated and slightly different for everyone. Good luck in your journey of self discovery! 🩷
@@neowolf09 Thank you so much for the thoughtful reply. I think for me its just a fantasy, not a desire like you speak of. Although I would be open to experiencing it sometime. Like you said, I am probably just a little bisexual. 95% of the time, I am all about women. I had an ongoing gay experience as a teen, but haven't had that in years. It wasn't a relationship, just experimenting as a young person. We would watch porn and one day, we just started on each other, but never kissed. I wanted that, but I was afraid to tell him. It was just oral stuff for a long time. Eventually, he lost interest in it but I would continue to give him blowjobs because I enjoyed it so much. I felt a lot of shame over that but couldn't stop.
Ever since then, I have had an interest in just c*ck in general and watched bisexual porn, most of which was terrible lol. I would like to have full gay sex but I've never felt comfortable enough to pursue it. I worry about online hook up apps and stuff like that. Anyway, thank you for your very thoughtful reply and sharing your experience!
Thanks for clearing up so many things.
Love that Dr. Strangelove reference in the title 😭
So glad someone else picked up on that as well 👌🏼
I like your video. I have almost zero sexual experience but I think I am sort of a lesbian or trans-lesbian but I have evolved a little because I recognize that I may very well like guys too. I have never had the experience of being fully treated as a woman like you, Ashley but almost all of the important citizens in my life are women. I also now know that I have an entertainment personality and like to flirt with everyone which can get dangerous for me even though I do not dress provocatively! Sadly I do not seem to get along well with other trans women.
I hear you, as a non-binary person (AFAB) my sexuality is evolving and I enjoy the new experiences, even if its not sex as I use to define it. I am open to way more kink exploration then I was even a year ago.
For me I think it is due to accepting my authentic self. I have no mask on of woman or man. I am just me, an individual with a heart and desires. I want to see where that journey takes me.
Thanks for clearing that up, it was something I have wondered about
Love this! Thank you for sharing!💕
When I was a little boy, 1st through 5th grades, it took me a very long time to realize that boys were supposed to act one way, and girls another. I had to actively hide my feminine nature, and act like a boy. I presented as a man, married, fathered a child, but was constantly afraid that somehow, someone would find out it was all an act on my part.
I always thought I was a hetero male, who had a kink for women's clothes. But after my divorce, I met a man while I was out dressed. And, as Ashley said, he was so masculine, and made me feel so feminine, that I knew then, I was a transwoman. And when he took me to bed, well, I was convinced that I had been missing out on who I truly was, all my life
ditto!
if you do not have a boy friend i will date you
ahh this is such a good and helpful video 😭😭 navigating my orientation is what led me to realizing I was trans/nonbinary and it’s so hard trying to figure out what works 😭😭 I love all of your videos I wish trans communities talked about stuff like this more 🥺🥺💕💕
I *love* the Dr. Strangelove reference 🤠.
Your powerful message did things for me! Thank you!
Hi! Thank you so much for this. I realized I was transfemme almost 3 years ago and for most of that, I had been romantically and sexually attracted to girls, along with being romantically attracted to one fictional guy. I still have not been able to get HRT for reasons, and that might be the case for another year, but half a year ago I started reslizing I was sexually attracted to guys, and the more I explored that the more I realized I was really sexually attracted to guys, particularly like masculine older men with like beards as you mention. The idea of having them just treat me respectfully like a woman (I don't completely identify as a woman specifically but like yk), and being vulnerable with them, and serving them just like makes me go crazy. I'm not really sure why really, and I've often felt disgusting or ashamed of it because I also have a fear/hatred of men that I can't deal with right now, and also I just feel like as a girl I'm not supposed to like these things and I'm supposed to be into softer men. Romantically I don't know if I could like the guys I would go crazy for sexually, and that's always made me feel conflicted about why I have such a discrepency and how that would change my relationship with any guys if I were to romantically date them. But, it's very validating to hear another trans person talk about her attraction to the same type of guy I tend to like. I think I will feel a lot of shame about it for quite a while due to a lot of factors, and I'm not sure if or when I'll be okay with my sexual preferences with guys, but I still really appreciate this video and I'll definitely be coming back to it a lot. I love your channel and the videos you make, thank you for everything you do ^_^
This is a great topic. I am pre HRT so nothing other than my own internal desires going on. I've never been with a guy but the more time I spend in my femme gender, the more I find I am wanting to meet guys, I am often thinking about d*ck, it's a matter of time I think until I act on it. I've always denied my interest in guys, even to myself, but the more accepting I am of my trans nature, the more I am able to accept my other desires. Thank you for your videos, they really help me!
As knowing I was a MTF transgendered person since I was 10 years old, from the first time I had sex with a girl, I knew something was off. I felt that I should've been the woman while having sex. This caused me a lot of problems emotionally through out my life. Then it got to a point that sex was no fun. From that point on I stopped dating all together since I knew I was not going to get any pleasure from having sex.
Well did you have sex with a man, was it better or no?
Damn gurl!girl!! YOU explained this topic perfectly.. you kept it 💯.
Studies are showing that HRT is altering the brain and even immune system, so a shift of sexuality could presumably well be influenced by HRT, it could also be a simple psychological shift based around the perception of being accepted for who you are.
🤔
In the end, whatever may be at play, the simple thing that matters is that the individual experiencing such a shift is happy with who they are.
So congratulations and good luck with your progress.
Happy for you
For me, I feel like I was always into guys, but it took transitioning to be comfortable with it? Because I was never into gay men, but straight men get me all 🥵🥵🥵. I almost wonder if I was always straight (I only dated two women before transition and it was extremely uncomfortable), but then every once in a while I’ll see a gay girl that just gets me kinda 😳😳. But it’s never a romantic feeling, I only feel romantic towards men. I hesitate to call myself bi, and most times I just sat I’m a straight woman, but I just don’t know. Men make me feel f**k*ng electrified and magical, they bring out the feminine delicate side in me
Same same SAME! It's interesting to hear about other's experiences as if there's categoies to this.
Nothing wrong with her wanting a real, masculine man. Glad she found that, I think most women would enjoy and benefit from being with masculine men.
As a CIS-gendered hetero male, I find you attractive, Ashley, for what it's worth. If I lived on the west coast, I would be interested in dating you. I say that to boost your confidence, as a woman, because if I feel that way about you, surely other men do as well.
thanks for the compliment!
Damn! She is so attractive, right!?
@@AshleyxAdamson You're welcome, Ashley. That wasn't meant as a cheap come on, but an actual sentiment. I'm sure there will be plenty of nice men there in Portland who would be very interested in dating you. I wish you all the best of luck and happiness.
@@AshleyxAdamson you're as hott as any cis woman. I find myself drawn to your femininity....
So so helpful. Nice to know it doesn’t have to be confusing 😂.
Hello Ashley I am new to the channel as a straight man you are very informative
I masqueraded as a straight guy before I transitioned. Now, I'm a year and eight months into transition and I still like women. Men have never been on my radar. Only three times have men hit on me. Two of those times were while I was at work. The first of those, some guy catcalled me while I was stocking nail polish. The second time, I had to refill an endcap and this other guy tried to back the mack on me, even questioning my gender. On one hand, it's affirming because it means I'm being read as a woman. But on the other hand, I don't want guys hitting on me at all. When I go out, I typically go to gay bars because I know men won't try to hit on me there.
Maybe it's because I'm a femme girl. I get gussied up when I go anywhere, even if it's just to the store and back home. As for my taste in other women, I go for other femme girls. I'm attracted to femininity. That's not to say I wouldn't give a tomboy or cute butch the time of day, though. And I don't care if a woman is cis or also trans. Out of the five women who've caught my eye since I began HRT, four of them are trans. Unfortunately for me, two of them are straight. One's a lesbian like me but she lives in D.C., and that's a three-hour drive away from my house in southern Delaware. The other woman is bi, lives about an hour's drive away from me across the state line in Maryland, and she's REALLY caught my eye. "Charlotte" and I met at a TDOR vigil back in November. We've met up again at various times since then, even hanging out. We get along great; we like at least some of the same stuff. This is on top of our shared experiences. Charlotte is a widowed single mom with two sons; I met those sons when I met her. "Dilbert" is 16 and "Wenceslas" is 10. They both seem to like me. Now, bear in mind that I've never dated a single mom, a widow, or a widowed single mom before. I want to shoot my shot with her but I'm still quite shy. To date, I've been letting things happen organically. Part of it is anxiety over how I'm supposed to compete with the memory of a deceased spouse. Charlotte has a tattoo commemorating her late wife. Understandable. But I often wonder how I'm supposed to compete. Any advice?
@@DarDarBinks1986 visualize your ideal partner and don't settle with less than you deserve
Fascinating. Great insights and perspectives.
fascinating video thank you, Im a straight submissive male I personally have not had a good experience so far finding someone but also struggle with anxiety.
I love the twist on Doctor Strangelove! All hail president Merkin Muffley!
love your videos, thank you
Love the title! Love that movie!
I'm the exact same..I'm on hrt.x❤
This was really relatable to me. Although mine happened in the opposite order.
I discovered my interest in men after growing up thinking I was straight, bc I was into women also. Then later on I figured out I was a trans woman, the bonus was I got to reacquaint myself with men in a more feminine role which was super validating and amazing. My interest in women has just kinda been sitting on the back burner until recently when I've had a similar reacquaintance.
Tldr: Trans girl figures out she's still pansexual after transitioning.
Yup, very much!
This just made my head hurt.
As long as you're happy.
Great with relish and mustard and savor the flavor slowly and elegantly
You are gorgeous Ashley love the outfit you are completely right sexuality is always changing it's not rigid set in stone love you Ashley very intelligent video
Remarkable and angelic!!!!😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
Straight Male here... Just wanted to call out that fire hazard of cords and power strip right in the middle of the floor.. anyways be safe out there 👍🏻
Especially on a rug. You have to wonder if that is an arc fault protected circuit.
I had a weird situation growing up knowing I was trans. My parents had heated conversation with me when I was 12. They asked if I was gay. I said “no”, because being that I felt feminine inside it seemed gay to be with women. I did have sex with many women but it never worked out because I felt that the roles needed to be reversed. It wasn’t until I started my transition and having sex with men in a way that let me be feminine that I finally felt right with my sexuality.
Lived a ostensibly het-cis normative lifestyle. My ex spouse never seemed to realize that there was very much that was gay going on due to being trans, not because I didn't tell her as I did, but still there are valid reasons why she never seemed to know. At the same time I've always had an attraction to men as well, but never really got to explore that part as my ex was quite clear on us being in a monogamous relationship. For reasons I won't get into, when she declared herself polyam near the end of our relationship her proposed polycule fell apart due to distrust between myself and the man she wanted to have as an additional partner. It was unfortunate too because at the time my ex equated polyam with group sex, not necessarily wrong but there is of overlap, and it might have been a nice opportunity. But the public name calling I experienced from the proposed partner was more than I could stomach.
Five years and one bad therapist from the separation, now divorced, I finally decided that I couldn't hold off transitioning any longer and I found myself a therapist I felt I might be able to trust. I've been on Cyproterone Acetate and Estradiol for over a year and a half now. Unfortunately it was the time of the cove and I found my sexual exploration and romantic interests limited to mediated electronic experiences. Oddly not unlike my first sexual explorations and such. I don't think Estradiol has changed my sexual orientation, but I do think transitioning has made me much more comfortable in my own body and has given me several levels of confidence boosts. I also have allowed myself to experience things more intensely so, even though I am experiencing arousal differently than before, I think I feel it more intensely too. When I want someone of some particular gender, or combination thereof, I feel it through my whole body. God, I feel I have to sit down sometimes! lol
I love you and love Tgirls 😍🙏
Hi Ashley, Do you think that watching trans porn as cis male, and then transitioning into a trans woman, and then watching straight porn thinking that I am not a straight woman, after decades of only being attracted to women in the street (still I am), is the product of sexual conditioning? rather than a true shift in sexual orientation? In essence, do you think that sexual fantasies and ability to only orgasm in the presence of certain porn will shift your sexuality and attraction to match your fantasies? OR the interest in porn is simply the product of "projection" on one self true transformation of sexual attraction? Cheers and love from San Fran, CA.
Fascinating never knew this was a common thing sexuality is something else. 😊
oh ,girl ,the san fransisco man ,i love that too ,lol!
Ashley when you say men, which men are you referring to, Straight men, Bi men, Transgender men etc.
Cis straight been
Men
@@AshleyxAdamson is CIS man straight ?????
@@BeHonestcur yes i only date straight men, cant have a guy whos gay into me cause then theyd be seeing me as a man
@@AshleyxAdamson I'm a straight man and I date only straight biological women, I don't like trans women because straight men don't date other physical men. so you are a physical man but living as a female who doesn't date a trans man or gay man or bisexual men, but you want a straight man who doesn't date another man, how is that even possible? I'm straight and I don't see the logic in that. because I do know men who say that they are straight, but in reality they are, bisexual or gay or all the other gender but not straight.
Ashley, thank you for such expressive honesty. I feel your messages and applaud them. Personally, I have repressed my honest feelings for 55 years as I am now 79. Luckily, I have some wonderful family and friends that support my being out with them. The sexual euphoria I can now feel is wonderful, and that is what I mean, listening to you with a sense of community affirmation.
P.s.i love your vids babe.your such an inspiration xRx
you translated my feelings :)
Oooh... love the eyeliner. No aubergine emojis?
Also, will you consider talking about safety concerns for trans woman when you start dating men? Especially dom men.
Good point, yes I actually did do a video on this if you search safety on my youtube channel you'll find it! Yeah where is that emoji lol
You explain yourself in a situation very clearly I would like to talk to you
I'm a cisgender bisexual man. In my mind, go with what you like. Men, woman, Transgender, whatever works for you at the time. All is good with consenting adults. Life is to short to box yourself in. Also, I love your channel. Good stuff.
I wonder how much of the libido decline etc from hormone therapy plays in now liking the banana? No procreation so the brain and body switch over? Great discussions you have on this channel
Thank you !!!!
Don't worry, you have my attention.
This is how I feel around men are nice
I have given up on straight or gay, there is Bi, that's marginally better. I am a human who loves other humans. And I can love whoever I want. level up, no pigeon hole, no marker, no this, no that. Human loves human X
Thanks for sharing
I was a cis straight guy but I came out as trans four years ago and what’s freaks me out is that I only like guys now 😭😭😭
Spot on
I have discovered that I am attracted to femininity with no particular genital preference
Same tbh
Same here bro. In saying that, I have a big fetish for Trans, but I want to end up with a girl when I am ready to settle because I want my own children
@@darrensmith8730 Yeah I do love coochie but I would only like D if it's on a feminine looking and sounding person
Yep 👌🏼
Nice video! Beautiful
What if you've explored both men and women and found that you're really not into sex at all and are asexual? How does transitioning and HRT affect being that? This is a very sex positive video, but does estrogen change your sexuality from formerly being only into women to being sexually attracted to men?
i'm a none op. love the video my dear your just so quit
Beautiful story..
I'd love to give a relatable response here but I have the curse of being a 27 year old virgin whose not on hormones yet lol! And I've ony had one relationship in my life so far. :p It's complicated.
Do u ever plan on SRS?
2025
@@AshleyxAdamson don't do it
@@AshleyxAdamson why the delay? What are the risks? What can go wrong, and what % of patients have such adverse effects ( like fistula, long-term pain, and so on)?
When I first transitioned(started HRT) 5 years ago, I thought that Id always remain a, Lesbian. Then about 2 years ago now, guys started to look real yummy,. I have a theory that it has something to do w/ the Progesterone I had started a year earlier,,. YMMV :)
always interesting
Think I'm straight but I'm not really sure because my friend see me hit on a girl and she walked away
They change depending on the month feel like a man then feel like a woman then I feel like both !!
God damn. I'm pan and just wanted to say ..holy hell you are gorgeous.
Love the title... 😊 No "O's" for me anymore. Think I killed something. Kind of disappointing.
Os??
@@AshleyxAdamson Yeah... As in the big O AKA orgasm and not being able to reach the top of Mt Everest anymore. Something has changed. I have very little sex drive now too. It's kind of weird to be honest. Maybe the decades of HRT? Age? No clue.
Before transition and as I going through it now. I have no idea where my sexuality is.
It honestly feels like a coin flip! Good luck Claire :)
@@AshleyxAdamson thanks Ashley
Don't over analyze yourself, okay just feel it out. Their is no pressure remember that, you will become who you are only if you are honest to yourself and not try to bend to preconceived expectations. Anyways good luck 💋
You are amazingly honest and forthcoming. But you see the problem, from a hetero guy's perspective. Only a small % of females and males really enjoy receptive anal sex (and of those, for some, the enjoyment is sky high, which for the guy on top must be something to see) . So it's no surprise that many trans women kind of tolerate it but don't really enjoy it. Which is why, for many guys, a post op or cisgender is a better match.
"...some of the realest words she eva' spoke..."
RIP Tupac Amaru Shakur
in my old life i was a straight guy. i had children with 4 women. after about 3 years on hrt and amassing a multitude of isms between a man & women (trans woman) things changed... and i havent looked back. im 100% strictly dickly and tbh i generally lie to women who come on to me that i have no penis, NO THANK YOU ILL PASS
Just don't feel safe around men TBH from bad experiences in the past, have experienced a shift after coming out but hard to trust men at this point.
Being a new interest in me I'm not understanding the term cis men or cis women. Help !!
Cis means you were born that gender, so means you are normal. For example, I was born a dude and love being what I was born as, so I am a Cis Male
I have just started my transition, and haven't started HRT yet. So I'm sure that might change how I feel. (There's a little bit of excitement in not knowing exactly what I'm going to be after my transition.)
Living as a man, I have always been super-into women, and have never had any interest in men. I like being with women a lot, although I've always preferred that the woman be on top.
I'm curious, though, about the emotional aspect of relationships. I can kind of imagine that once I have a V, I might want someone to stick a P in it. But I can't imagine having an emotionally-fulfilling relationship with a man. Right now I only see women as someone I could have that with. But perhaps estrogen will literally change my mind.
Same for me in every way
I’m wondering why UA-cam recommended this video to me on a Sunday morning when I’m up early checking the News before Meet the Press comes on. Yes, I’m trans and I watched a lot of Ashley’s videos. Thank you Ashley : )
Interesting comment about you feeling getting nails done and hair done is more of a female thing, that makes you feel more womanly... being born a woman myself, I generally don't get my hair done, and I do have fake nails that I only use rarely.. so.. I don't feel that these things are what make me a woman or make me feel more womanly, it is nice to pamper and get dressed up, and it may be that for some that it makes them feel more womanly, but to me, being a woman is a lot more than just getting your nails or hair done. It doesn't even need to be in a woman's life, these things, so it was interesting to hear as I don't associate these things with being a woman, it CAN be for women, but, really, it is for anyone, or only for those who want to do them and like them, and it also doesn't have to be done and you can still be womanly, so I personally don't feel that these things are what makes me a woman, as they can be taken or left and still be as feminine and womanly as ever, regardless. It is the same for makeup, I don't use makeup really, very rarely, and when I do, it is only a tiny bit. So, these things are not what makes me a woman, to me, they are used by women a lot, not all though, but not actually what makes me a woman. I don't know what makes me a woman, to be honest... but to me, it isn't makeup, or getting hair or nails done, personally, as I feel like a woman and I don't really do these things... I feel hair and makeup and nails are more of a stereotype of a woman, maybe. idk.. either way, I am glad these things make you feel more womanly, in that instance, it is a real help, I feel. It really makes me think, what is a woman to me, if not makeup, or hair, or nails, to me???? I don't think I can put my finger on it easily... I hope I haven't offended anyone with this comment, I just wanted to put how I personally feel, as I was surprised that you said that you feel this way, as to me, it is totally different, personally.
No such thing as "cis" anything. Have your delusions without expectations that others must share them. We don't, we won't.
She is quite beautiful
Trans Woman no problem But I'm not gay.😊
Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
Very nice and very beautiful
💖