She was telling her to keep her hair out of their mouths. From the video they were talking about her before she came in to work.. If that is her feelings just say " sorry I meant no disrespect "
And be the ones saying the shit are the main ones that disrespect us every single day.. I'm so tired of the shit. Idgaf what color they are. Why are you watching me that hard...
The fact that the Black woman was recording, because she knew that the person was going to say something, reveals that the person always has something to say about her hair. It's not a compliment. It's a read. These women are jealous of the style, creativity, and versatility of the Black women's hair period. 💯
Yes it's funny you said this! I used to work in a retail pharmacy! I switched up my hairstyles alot! One day when I went to work, I actually had one of the pharmacists tell me that she was jealous that we (black women) could do our hair in any style! She said from her own mouth that she wishes they could do that! She did give me a compliment tho, but it didn't start out with "see"! It "seemed" pretty genuine! So I think you may have a point about white women really being jealous of our versatile hair!! 🙄🤦🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️💯💯
I was thinking the same thing. Like everybody was weird and so happy to see her. Most days folk hardly speak when people come in to work. 🤦♀️ ppl act so weird when they being fake and it gives them away everytime. Cause why she so popular. I know they don't like her Dat much. Calling each other neighbor and such. The energy was weird.
I’m not a Black woman and it irritates me that people always have to make announcements about a switched up style or if it’s their “real” hair. If you like it, leave it at that but why is it always a concern about Black women’s hair. This happens to Black women all the time. It’s ridiculous for people to not recognize that. The defense of the security guard is sickening.
@Me-tb8rs I think if she expressed that it's a PROBLEM for her . Then that should be the end of it 😠😠😠😠😠‼️ Don't start "Splain' " about oh no , I didn't mean any harm . I just liked how intricate the design is . And yahda yahda yahda yahda ! If she doesn't like it . THEN STOP IT ! AND LEAVE HER ALONE ABOUT IT ! Stop putting her in a position . Where she feels like . She has to defend or explain herself ! And just let her be a FREE fellow human being . In the same space as you ! No explanations or accountability necessary . EVERYBODY doesn't take this stuff in the same way ! You might see it as being nice or complementary . But they might see it as prying , harassment Or objectivity . In the same way that everybody doesn't like or can't take a JOKE ! There are also people who feel the same way about what was meant to be received as a complement . 💯💯💯💯💯💯
As a black man it's annoying at my job when I switch from cornrows to twists or just wear my hair in the fro...I had to say the same thing "You don't always have to address my hair every time it's different".
10:22 this young brother has it so twisted. If a white person NEVER complimented me for the rest of my days I wouldn't give a damn. I don't present myself for their gaze, approval, opinion or acceptance.
But most black men do though the yt man's gaze and approval is GOD to them look how they go the extra mile to date a Becky some of these fools would sell they mama's out to get with becky
That AND as a chocolate woman, I've also grown up my whole life hearing: "You're pretty for a dark skinned girl". These days I play ignorant, repackage the comment using their appearance and throw it back at them like "Thank you! And you're handsome for a dark skinned man!" or "Aww thank you! You're pretty for a white woman!" I wish I could show y'all the looks on their faces. Suddenly, they understand why "compliments" like that are not compliments at all.
She came into the situation with the phone Already set to record because this was not the first time this has happened. Those of us who know, know, and they are some of us who are not seeking White validation. It was a back handed compliment, pure and simple.
The “compliment” Wasn’t made TO her. Her conversation was ABOUT her to someone else in her presence. She wasn’t included in the conversation ABOUT her till she spoke up. Depending on how many times she had to endure being talked over is the issue.
Absolutely ridiculous so we're going to start fights over someone trying to be friendly this compared to more serious issues like lack of affordable housing, legislation for weapon control, affordable healthcare, equal pay, fair wages, police reform YOU MEAN TO TELL ME SOMETHING LIKE SOME WHITE WOMEN TRYING TO BE FRIENDLY IS THAT DEEP AND WORTH FIGHTING OVER. DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND HOW RIDICULOUS YOU SOUND. things like this literally just makes you unapproachable and people think twice before being kind to you or including you in anything even my black behind wouldn't include or talk to anyone who acted like that you're entitled to feel and act however just don't be shocked when you find yourself alone and not included in things
That was not a compliment that was turning somebody into a showcase. It's the same mentality they had for years. They just don't put us in the zoo's anymore
I’m so over Boomers getting mad when we don’t tolerate the same shit they let slide. Commenting regularly on a person’s physical appearance in a work environment is unnecessary across the board. No one enjoys being scrutinized like that but black women are the only ones expected to tolerate it.
EXACTLY... She said she she has experience real micro aggression, but jst because she tolerates and rest in it doesn't mean we should. They are the one who had to bow dwn bck in the day so it's still in thm to do so.
"Whoa, I say whoa there now"...I'm a boomer and I totally DISagree with 'old' girl. I'm 63 and I got it! There's a difference between a compliment and an observation. That yt woman security guard didn't 'compliment' her until she got called out--she was critiquing her hair. All while doing it '3rd party' style with someone else in the room. If the yt lady had just started out saying 'hey, love the hair', we wouldn't be having this conversation, but she didn't. I notice a lot of things with people everyday, but it doesn't require commentary from me. Lastly, the Crown Act is on the table for reason--I don't think old girl gets that, but some of us do--maybe because I've been rocking a 'twa for years now. Anywho, Cheers!
I'm not a boomer, I'm a gen-exxer, but I've never put up with that crap. These neanderthals are fragile, and we need to stop treating them with kitten gloves. Wrong is wrong, no matter how micro it is.
I had this white college professor and I’d have anxiety walking into class with a new hairstyle bc every time he would just HAVE to point it out. In front of everybody. A whole thesis statement on how *he* felt about *my* hair… And of course it came off as “nice”, him just being “friendly”, just giving a “compliment”. But even Ray Charles can read a room! I’m just glad she said something bc I didn’t. I just suffered the embarrassment. We laugh/smile so much off and go about our business to not be the typical “black girl” but nah. Tell folks exactly how you feel and exactly where they got you f*ked up. Because it’s really not hard to leave people alone and mind your business.
I think this is where much of the energy in this thread is coming from. I see you and sorry you had to deal with that ish. Despite what the socially ignorant believe this is an issue that needs to be addressed.
I feel you,. but gone are the days. I have sat in that silence far too many times and I am not going to continue to make it okay for people to make my daughter feel the same way that I did.
Facts! The second girl broke it down. Its started with "'see" .... that was not a compliment! She was straight talkng about her while she was in the room! Thats why she had to start filming! Especially if its happened more than once, i can see her being mad. Good for her 👊🏾
If you listen, 2 people were already talking about her before she entered the room. Once she entered the room the co-worker says “See” because the topic of discussion walked in. The black lady just set a boundary and educated her on how it was offensive. There’s nothing wrong with that and it’s not rude. The “compliment” was only given after she realized the black lady was offended. The black woman also says this wasn’t an isolated thing. Let’s not skip over that. Micro aggressions in the work place start out as little comments here and there and get worse over time. You have to check it when it happens before it gets worse.
Sis in the pink shirt nailed it with her take on this situation. She was recording for a reason. I've never known ANY black women, including myself, to seek validation/compliments from wyte women. I just don't want to be judged or discriminated against because of my hair. I've dealt with this same issue in the work place for years. "When are you going change your hair?" "Oh, you curled your hair?" "When are you going to take your braids down?" Like...hello...I have sister locs. 🙄 smh. And Dumebi Lea you are right. If you don't set boundaries, they will take it too far and eventually will want to touch your hair. I make it clear. I come to work to do just that. Not to make "work friends".
I've seen this before done to other co workers....and it's annoying...they like to say, "oh, this is NEW hair today...." Then they stare and do a weird grin like you're a museum display. That's what people don't get. Y'all take anything as "flattery" but it's not....they're mocking you.
A backhanded compliment is an insult. This has probably been going on for a while, and this time, the other guard got called out for it. And as usual, true to their nature, when the guard got called out on her BS went immediately to victim mode. Yes, it was micro aggression because the guard who made the comment about her hair, was discussing her hair with someone b4 by saying "see..her hair... ..." instead of saying hey, cute style...see the diffrence..and no, you dont get points for say afterwords "I thought it was cute"... ..
I think the issue is...why can't certain people can't just say "i love your hair", "your hair looks great "...with certain people its always a discussion or an inquisition as to your switch up. Then you find yourself in a full discussion explaining how you were able to change it up, answer a bunch of questions you don't want to answer...just say you look great and keep it moving! It tends to make you feel like a freak of nature, then they might ask to touch it, and by this point other people around join in...just say your hair looks great!#crownact
Hit it right on the head! Always becomes a discussion and touching. Now I’m standing in front of everyone getting felt up like a new iPhone on display.
If you're late to pick your friend up for work so you speed up to get them to work on time. You come around the corner and pull into their driveway not knowing they are waiting in the driveway for you. You accidentally hit them and injure them. Do they have a right to be offended? You sped to try to help them get to work on time. Your intent was kind, but in the end it caused harm. Communication can be the same, not as drastic of course but the same concepts can be applied. Also, If a guy says "nice ass" everyday to a woman and she asks him to stop, everyone understands. Is it so hard to give the woman in the video the same respect?
This may seem sooooo outlandish but you really have to be a Black woman to understand. Why do you think we have to have things like The Crown Act? All everyone keeps holding on to “it was a complement.” Those people, especially the older ones, always use “compliments” as insults. You’re not supposed to say anything because they’re old or “they don’t know any better.” For her to record, means this is something they do that annoys her. She probably has tried other ways to let them know they were being annoying. There’s a lot nuance here.
If you get offended by a positive comment no matter how many times it’s stated something is wrong with you. Why be annoyed with positivity unless your negative.
@@skyreacher3846That’s the same exact response people have after saying “you’re pretty for a black girl” all because they called you pretty. There are underlying insults behind certain comments. She pointed it out and set her boundary. Because like the yt woman said, it wouldn’t have been stated the same way had she been white.
This is a consistent back door method that these women use to attempt to throw shade on black women. It's portrayed as a kind act when it's questioned, but it's certainly NOT. It's often thinly disguised disdain to bring contempt for her wearing hair that didn't grow from her scalp. White women have worn hair extensions for ages with no attention or discussion, because they would feel disparaged for slyly pointing out how much more volume, length, texture, etc they now have. We all know not to embarrass white women by saying things to draw attention where they don't want it.
People can't regulate how someone feels about what's being said about them! TF! It's giving that she's had a run in with this person before, possibly. But either way, she feels how she feels about it-period! If it didn't feel like a compliment to HER, then it didn't feel like a compliment!! Let that woman have her legitimate feelings about HER experience!!
The problem is this usually starts off seemingly harmless but as it goes unchecked, it'll get more and more intrusive. I've had situations where these comments escalate to someone feeling comfortable enough to touch your hair or make "jokes" that they think are appropriate
@@LadyKayyedamn that bullish. She was the topic before she walked into the building. You YT people need to learn what a compliment is. My bad thought you was yt I went in on you. But we shouldn’t have to suffer we suffer enough.
She wasn't rude at all, she stated that her pointing it out every time makes her uncomfortable. She has a right to ask this woman to not make her a spectacle every time she walks by.
This! Plus she started out saying she was an introvert, but said she would have read her. Naw she’s just a mean girl claiming to be an introvert to disguise her shadiness.
Coming from someone who recently left a job where my hair changes were the talk of the office, I see nothing wrong with how our Sister responded to her coworker. It's best to stop it now than to wait until the micro aggression gets bolder and bolder. It starts with conversations amongst other non blacks, it progresses to them giving compliments here and there, then it moves to what Sis is dealing with right now. If she doesn't nip it in the bud now it will grow wildly to eventually them wanting to know exactly what's in her hair, how she got it done that way to eventually them trying to touch and inspect the hairstyle. Trust and believe if you give some people an inch they will for sure take a whole mile. Set boundaries and set them unapologetically.
The lady who was told not to continue didn't even make a deal of the issue. But so many people on tiktok took it upon themselves to say horrible things on her behalf. If you feel the need to 'humble' someone for not giving you the reaction you want, you have a problem.
I was in this same situation once or twice. One particular time, my white supervisor called me out in front of a room full of people. She said that I had dread locks and it wasn’t even dread locks, it was box braids!!! I’m a quiet person, and all eyes were on me at that moment. I was embarrassed. She kept insisting that I was wearing dread locks and even took a picture. In the end, she did say that they looked nice, but I still didn’t feel comfortable or complimented. And I don’t like to be the center of attention around whit people. I have a fear of it breeding jealousy and malice towards me down the line.
People needs to understand the difference between backhanded compliments/shade and actual compliments. That lady was not sincere about her “compliment”. Saying something every day about someone appearance (especially a particular appearance) is the same as *“I could never, but do you boo boo” or “you’re brave, it could never be me”*
A couple of the ppl in the stitches were absolutely oblivious of the whole situation! There was no compliment.... So, apparently, they don't know the definition of what a compliment is.
No, I'm with team video girl just by the fact I get tired every time I walk an organization that I'm a part of that someone have to say something about my hair. No hair ever gets mentioned, just mine but even worst when they say the so-called compliment then go to reach for the touch..uggggg sorry not a compliment and I'm not your pet poodle.
It’s about time somebody other than myself expressed how annoying this is…. I feel this woman 💯%, to the point where it’s killing my whole mood the night before going somewhere just because I KNOW someone will have SOMETHING to say… it’s not the compliment I fear, it’s the HAIR PATROL KARENS…
They were employment gossipers not Karens everything is not about race so maybe she just shouldn't come her hair guess what they will talk about her then too .Worry about real race issues like for example black people being shot and killed for nothing other than being black.
@@danawhite6458when non black people start respecting black peoples boundaries then it wouldn’t be an issue. This is the same as having an unwanted compliment from a man. Two things can be true at the same time, all of this picking and choosing of what’s important is stupid, all the issues are important and intertwine with eachother. If palm colored people can’t even respect simple boundaries how is racism and discrimination going to end? Answer that please DANA.
We all saw this on a public stage when Gabrielle Union took issue with Simon Cowell and the staff of America's got talent taking a position against her changing her hair regularly on the show. So this is not new. We have seen this play out on the public stage all over the US. The fact that people of color are acting so benign to this is ridiculous to me IT IS THE REASON WE HAVE THE CROWN ACT! They tend to be overly concerned with what we are doing scrutinizing and criticizing us to the point of making us feel like bugs under a microscope! Some people can't see the microaggression but would feel very differently if they walked into a room and someone was already talking about them and continued the conversation with see... blah blah blah... blah blah... If I have my hair in a pixie cut one day and down my back the next day it's nobody's concern and if they want to make a compliment it sounds like oh that's a nice hairstyle. Oh that's pretty! Oh that's beautiful! .. It doesn't sound like a critique. Scrutinization and overt observation which is completely unnecessary. Let's not be so light-headed and inconsiderate of each other's cultural differences.
Preachhhhhhhhmy goodness watching black men and woman acting like picke me to the palm colored folk diaspora whilst puttin us down my goodness it's black women against EVERYONE
The crown act has to do with discrimination. Speaking about a person's hair is not discrimination. No job is rejecting a person simply because a coworker says oh she had beautiful curls yesterday and now she has beautiful dreads today. Please if you are going to talk about the Crown Act please use it correctly.
She might have recorded it, because she had done this same thing before. Micro aggressions my be different to different people. By letting the small stuff slide that there is so much big stuff. We had to get to the crown act so black people wouldn’t loose their job because of their job. There are still bills on the books in a few states that lynching in still allowed.
I can relate to this woman in the video. Every time we switch up our hair, yt people have something to say, as if they’ve never seen a black woman before or they don’t know that black women commonly switch up their hair. I don’t mind compliments, but it’s the “oh can I touch it?” “is that all your hair?” “Are those extensions?” Like, I appreciate the compliment and yes I know it’s cute but can you please mind your business?? And no you cannot touch me. Thank you.
The first girl talking really annoyed me. She really has no idea what she's talking about. She's not black so she has no idea how this girl feels. She said nothing wrong, it's like strangers coming to touch your hair. We get fired and kicked out of schools because of our hair. kids get kicked out off of teams because of our hair. I will never understand the black men are missing the point right along with everyone else. Most black women understand her some don't but clearly it's something that happens often and she doesn't like it so she asked her not to do it. So what's the problem here? Why can't she speak up about something that bothers her?
Remember in the movie "Guess Who?" with Bernie Mac & Zoe Saldana when Ashton Kutcher talks how his grandmother said, "I just love her cute lil nappy hairs!"? Zoe's grandpa wanted to whoop that old palm colored lady's @ss & then Ashston tried to excuse it by saying, "Well my grandmother is from a different time...." blah blah blah. Well Zoe's grandfather was from that same era & he didn't appreciate the "compliment" toward his granddaughter.
She annoyed me to the core. Like is she even black "enough" to understand why it's not nice for people to speak about your hair whether it's bad or "nice"(whuch that nice has undertone of being comical about someone's hair)
Girl she said she would have humbled her. I was like nah you would have gotten humbled and play froggie if you want to. Some people think they are about that life. FA&FO.
First off, for her to have had her camera ready considering the situation she has obviously experienced this before. It made sense for her to film it. Obviously, there are those of us who aren't aware of the microaggressions they experience on a daily basis. This simply brings about some awareness. And, I don't know about you but who starts off a genuine compliment with an off handed observation? Not to mention she was being discussed with another person prior to her coming into contact with them both. Any woman who is confused about this or thinks she is out of line apparently doesn't deal with other women very often as I see this among women a lot, especially jealous women. She tried to pull some fly ish and got called out and then tried to back pedal with a compliment. This "microaggression" was properly identified in my opinion.
I can see both sides of the argument on an objective level, but seeing the video it's almost like this woman has dealt with this security guard saying slick stuff before, and happened to be recording and ready for her to make another comment because she did NOT miss a beat in telling her just how she felt about the "compliment" given. Context is sorely missing in this scenario. Plus, seemingly there was a conversation about her before she even entered the space...WHY!
I thought she did a phenomenal job expressing this … She spoke for herself, yet spoke for everybody else ✊🏽🖤… can’t wait for the part 2… waiting to here the ACTUAL compliment 😊
Yep started with "See". Already a conversation when not present. They were talkimg about weaves and extension then sugar coat the different styles as a compliment to cover the insult earlier discussed.
Exactly!!!! Eew these people talking about she should just accept the compliment. What compliment? The lady was talking about her hair to someone else, who was the woman to discuss what looks nice on the black girl?
@@Heat_Rush it's another one of those things that make ppl who are truly racess expose themselves by jumping on it so quick and running their mouths. I GAIR rone TEE, if this was about how a Trans, dresses up like a boy one day, and a girl the next.. (especially with that "SEE??.." she said).. the world would be clutching their pearls 🙄
If you’re not a black woman nine times out of ten you’re not going to get this , the world stays telling black women how to feel but don’t want to ever listen ! I know exactly what she’s saying because I have experienced it . The world hates when black women set boundaries . She didn’t like it ….. PERIOD that’s all that matters
What you guys don’t get is the young lady is correct. I just watched a different video where the lady lost her job because of the comments on the hair. And lady lost her job because she didn’t want to spend time with the coworkers. This is how it starts.
Whenever I would wear my mink coat to work, I'd keep it folded lining side up on the vacant desk next to mine. I've come back from the ladies room a few feet away to find someone usually "yte" petting my coat, or blowing on the hairs to see if it was real. I'd ask why they were blowing on my coat that they had to handle to flip, they'd answer and then I'd ask what conclusion they'd come to. Guess what? They'd ask if it was real mink. 😂😂😂😂
Any time you walk into a room than all the sudden someone says, “SEE!!! I told you she!!!” Why am I the topic to your conversation? My hair at that. If you like my hair just say that I like your hair and keep it moving. These YT folks and black men are something else.
The first person who claims that it was a compliment, needs to know English and body language, bcuz, the lady was already being discussed by the people she walked in on .
I am surprised that black people disagreed with her about the problem. Did they not hear the way the so called compliment was given? If she comments on her hair everytime she changes it, that is not a compliment. She could have just said your hair looks nice not is was different before
It's not a compliment... we deal with this shit every day ... oh you changed your hair again... we have issues with hair every where we go ... nobody wants to be reminded every 5 seconds about it...
Yeah. It felt backhanded. Almost as if she was making fun of her hair changing with the people she was talking with but hiding it and proving to them on how she always changes it but hid it in a compliment.
Ok i had to say something about this... First and foremost no one knows (the woman on the side talking) what nationality she is. Second: If it was a compliment why didn't she say it to her instead of who ever was standing next to her? Third: I have had co-workers (that I only know they work there) strangers on the street just walking up to me and reach to touch my hair without my permission so hell yeah I know actually how's she feel. As for the light blub that called her a dog (you know who you are) but for those of you who missed it I'm talking about the first person talking out the side of her face about this, how many times have you been mistaken for white? I just love people that grow a set when they are behind closed doors or in there mother's basement also if you have common sense this is a on going thing with this person so She felt the need to film this encounter for what ever reason which is Her right to do. Miss Lady you have the right to feel about any and everything that is said to you dealing with yourself some people are just stuck on stupid. KEEP YOUR HEAD UP ❤
Oh you’re so well spoken and stunning for a black girl/woman. It happened at 5 yes 5. Lol I was like damn I just want to exists. Even then I could tell that they were saying other Black aren’t …I was like wait what? It’s giving you are token diet black- you’re one of the good ones vibe. It’s very jarring and I continue to set boundaries because it’s can get off the charts. I have a white male business partner that’s a boomer. He said idk but that was weird why would that white woman say that -to be passive aggressive. If he knew come on!
See we Black Americans always catch how they operate and really are maybe one day Africans and Caribbean will catch up and stop seeing them as a white savior.
Before making a comment or stab at this video, the respondents should watch it from beginning to end. She interrupts the conversation when she walks upon someone gossiping about her and asks them to stop speaking about her. It is actually a response to the palm colored lady that people are asking this woman to accept not a compliment. I feel ashamed of the woman who actually called this woman a female dog. I have zero respect for you and I hope you get it yourself together before you try and educate someone on what they should and should not accept . We all could use a class on respect and boundaries. I see nothing wrong with this lady saying please respect me . I feel uncomfortable with you discussing me as an object, please I have boundaries and you are crossing them. As for the man that made videos, they did what i anticipated they would do, come to the rescue of the palm colored people. Respect the Black
I took it as a palm colored woman showing her racism by being really triggered by a Black woman having personal boundaries. I have no respect for the palm colored woman as she had a high level of viciousness discussing the sister's reaction. Any sign of Black people setting personal boundaries seem to outrage racists. I noticed this at work myself.
Thank you so much for checking. I’m fully recovered now, just doing voiceovers for the time being because I have family over and I haven’t had time to film, but I’ll do so soon. Thanks for your concern 💜🙏🏽
Hi guys, that definitely was NOT a compliment & it isn't even limited to palm coloured people. As someone who has struggled with her hair for over a decade and now its growing and I can do alot with it. I do get alot of those 'compliments' from fellow black people & they aren't even nice due to the delivery... when you complement someone you just have to complement the person without snide remarks then they will take the compliment.
Some of these people need to look up the definition of a compliment because this, THIS is not a compliment. As well as micro aggression because this IS a micro aggression.
One time right before I locd my hair, I came to work with an Afro and at the time they literally stopped a whole staff meeting, everyone in the company, to talk about my hair and “complimenting” me, not understanding how fing weird it is.
She wasn't complimenting her. She was talking about her to another person knowing that she was going to be coming through the door, so she could say see there she is I told you. She was going to continue to say that before she was cut off and then gave the compliment, to make up for talking about her in the first place.
im white with curly hair and as a little girl i was basically an attraction because of my hair so i 100% understand this woman and other black women. when you constantly get comments on your hair, especially when you change it is annoying. period. and this woman has every right to point it out. and that's without adding the race and culture behind which adds even more to this topic
Either tell them thank you or to kiss wear the sun doesn't shine or the moon doesn't glow It's your hair ,do what you want with it. Pick your battles people We as black people have real battles life threatening ones to fight.
There is a difference between a compliment and sarcasm. We 🤷🏿♀️know the difference!🤦🏿♀️ Be real is it Rism/jealousy!..we are NOT considered the standard of "beauty" and we do NOT care about other people's hair but "others" are obviously obsessed with ours🤦🏿♀️Get over yourselves already and leave 🤷🏿♀️alone!
Some of the people who responded to the video didn’t really listen to what the security guard said. When giving someone a compliment, you don’t start by saying “see she had curls and now”. That’s not a compliment!!!
The thing that bothers me about the older woman is that she feels we can’t feel something about something “small” because they dealt with much bigger like ma’am. I can feel what I want
I think she was correct in what she said. And, she probably had her camera ready to go to film the interaction because it has happened more than once. And, what's the reason for calling out her hair to someone else in the room? Why is the lady trying to draw attention to how often she changes her hair? What statement is trying to make? Is it she thinks she gets paid too much and has no real responsibilities and that's why she can afford to change it so often? Whatever the speculation, it's not the security guards business at all. Worry about yourself and mind your business.
And 2nd stitch is exactly what I was relating before seeing this video I already seen it on tik tok y'all need to understand underback compliments smh we catch on as BA but others don't
It’s the you should feel honored that I validated you, for me. Like honey who wants or needs your validation! They get soo pissed that not all of us fall head over heels because of their compliment and they take it as a slight that you a bw who is beneath me don’t want me a ww to uplift you. And like the second commenter said who starts off a “compliment “ with see!!!
I don’t think it was meant as a compliment. I think a lot of people failed to think about whether or not this was an isolated incident. In fact, the fact that she was recording it says that the other lady habitually comments on her hair. This was probably not the first, second, or third time. I’ve had coworkers comment on my hair literally every time I changed it, and it was always to comment on which hairstyle they liked best. When other people change their hair, nobody feels the need to give their two cents about the style, and nobody says, “oh, I liked the black better.” They either complement it or point it out. She changed her hair, and she knew that Miss ma’am was going to say something so she recorded it and expressed to her why she didn’t like what she was doing. I don’t see the harm in that.
Thanks for covering this because "FREEDOM OF SPEECH" has been taken too far out of context where personal boundaries are no longer your very own. "FREE OF SPEECH" does not mean to disrespect someone either. We must know the difference in giving an opinion (even if it is not wanted). But because we have that right and liberty in America; we often abuse it. We now Police someone's anatomy, person life/ sexual preferences/ and who people chose to be with. We speak on the unimportant things in the Black that causes us to fight each other even in Gender Wars of Black Men and Black Women against each other that causes us to be Anti each other and sooner or later even Anti-Black while we are already there with inside problems of COLORISM (light skin vs. dark skin) which at one point (when it came to all Black women as a whole in Beauty Standards; that tried to die down and I think it did a bit) but now Black Men are doing this to each each other (whereas at one point this did not matter between us) I figured a few things out to (EXPLAIN WHY NOW IN 2023) because this problem with Black Men in this generation they've become feminized even with a very masculine look... It more of their ways now that demonstrate these bias actions against one another and it usually comes from The Light Skin Modern Day Black Man who says he was picked on for being mixed (which I am tired of hearing) or that someone is jealous of his looks or his blatant disrespect and judgment on someone else's looks and often getting a pass to disrespect just like racist White Folks because of his mixed race while being anti-black himself. It is getting ridiculous so by us fighting each other this too has given White Folks a reason to slip through the cracks of our arguments and fighting to become their entertainment value and bowl of popcorn as they too give their disrespectful opinion that says: "LOOK AT THE NIGGAZ FIGHTING EACH OTHER... SO I SHOULD BE ABLE TO GIVE MY OPINION TOO." -Kwaufi Nino
People are forgetting one point. These People work together and meet regularly. There is a lot of background that we do not know. If someone feels a certain way, you cannot tell them how to feel.
And for that person that asked why is she recording? It’s because it has happened more than one time and she decided to put her micro aggression on blast. Every time she changes her hair she has something to say. So she recorded it. Leave black people hair alone please!
I think she recorded it to show her yt TikTok followers what not to say regarding a black woman's appearance. That could be the missing context that she may not have added to the post caption or something like that. However, it's clear that she was being talked about before entering the room, which makes what our sister @4:10 and our brother @7:45 said all the more valid. I just can't stand when older black folks who let far too much slide and non-black people who don't understand the experience victim- blame microaggressions. It's annoyingly sad that it takes allies like homegirl @15:52 to put things into perspective for boomers and non-black people who never seem to get it.
Now if she was petty and just said to the guard, “You’re so sweet and special as can be. Bless your heart! I was just telling my friend on my phone here just how special you are before I even walked in and saw you.” Then the security guard would feel some type of way for the false compliment. All the words sound nice but we all know they are not, right? Exactly!
Leave it to a black man 🤦🏾 5:35 The standard of beauty has always and will always be the ww thanks to people like him. Just because people are seeing our versatility doesn't mean we're all of a sudden the standard for beauty. Besides that, what does the beauty standard have to do with what our Sis is going through. The whole situation went over his head because he too rhinks we should be grateful that someone is paying attention to us. Like bruh 🤦🏾
12:53 grand aunty. No you didn’t deal with real micro aggression it was straightforward aggression but you knew you couldn’t do anything about it. She recorded the encounter because unlike your experience that’s what micro aggression is. She got it on video, since micro aggressions fly under the radar vs blatant shade. The fact you didn’t pick up on micro aggression proves the point since you’re used to actual aggression. But bless your heart👀
Over ya heads....completely....... the fact that she shut HER down...KNOWING AND BUILDING UP TO FINALLY DEMOLISHED HER ON VID....SHOWS.......she's an OG.....
I'm in my early 50s and I'm not a big fan of compliments. I don't like the feeling it gives me of being put in the spotlight. I'm a very low key person, have never liked being "seen" though I know I am very much so. Anywho, i feel that some of those who feel she may have been ungrateful or rude should realize everyone is different and some don't want or NEED compliments.
Working with fake, condescening white women who give fake compliments is so annoying!!! After a while, it can be exhausting and it gets old. Ladies, set strong boundaries in the beginning of any job with every coworker, and stick to them.
Here is the funny thing… the young woman in the first video never needed to get consensus from others to decide whether or not she found the white lady’s comments offensive. She did find the offensive. Period. She said what she said and she told the lady where her red line was….and she did it politely. So everyone else’s opinion doesn’t matter. Isn’t it funny how that works.
This generation does not easily take offense .NO. We are just more informed and pre-disposed to say how we feel there and then, if necessary. Plus her annoyance had nothing to do with the fact that she was talking to a security officer.
I'm going to be 60 in a few months. That woman got off light. Why make a loud public spectacle about a strangers hair and how many times she changes it? It's none of her business. If it were meant to be a compliment, she would've just said "Your hair looks nice". There was a time when we were expected to put up with those kind of idiotic comments from random white people as if we are inanimate objects or just dogs. Times have changed. We dont have to accept that anymore. I would have been offended. That woman got off easy. She would've gotten more than just a talking to from me. Shes on duty. She shouldve just done her job and kept the personal comments to herself. I don't put up with that kind of familiarity. I wear locks nowadays. Sure I get stares and surprised expressions. But I dare any stranger to get too familiar with me to try and make a spectacle out of me. They will regret it. I'm getting hot just thinking about it. OMG!
@JaiK64 I sure do get it. Back in the day, random white PPL used to think it was funny to make jokes about us wearing box braids with extensions. They used to try and embarrass us openly saying "saying everybody knows black girls don't have long hair. Its fake!" They did it loud and in a crowd of peers or work environment just to make it as humiliating as possible. Then people would laugh, point and talk about you as if you weren't standing there or a dog. They'd be like "oh you can't take a joke." They weren't joking. And that security guard wasn't offering a compliment. I would have lodged a complaint with her company. That's how mad this makes me. 😡
It’s amazing how others try to tell someone how to feel!!!
She was telling her to keep her hair out of their mouths. From the video they were talking about her before she came in to work.. If that is her feelings just say " sorry I meant no disrespect "
exactly
That part. 🙄😩
And be the ones saying the shit are the main ones that disrespect us every single day.. I'm so tired of the shit. Idgaf what color they are. Why are you watching me that hard...
They wouldn't be telling her if she had not put it out there . We have real race issues with dead people. Shot by racist white people and evil cops.
The fact that the Black woman was recording, because she knew that the person was going to say something, reveals that the person always has something to say about her hair. It's not a compliment. It's a read. These women are jealous of the style, creativity, and versatility of the Black women's hair period. 💯
I agree them talking about her seems to be an ongoing thing if she walked in recording
Yes it's funny you said this! I used to work in a retail pharmacy! I switched up my hairstyles alot! One day when I went to work, I actually had one of the pharmacists tell me that she was jealous that we (black women) could do our hair in any style! She said from her own mouth that she wishes they could do that! She did give me a compliment tho, but it didn't start out with "see"! It "seemed" pretty genuine! So I think you may have a point about white women really being jealous of our versatile hair!! 🙄🤦🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️💯💯
WHOOMP DARE IT IS ‼️ Jealousy disguised as flattery .
I was thinking the same thing. Like everybody was weird and so happy to see her. Most days folk hardly speak when people come in to work. 🤦♀️ ppl act so weird when they being fake and it gives them away everytime. Cause why she so popular. I know they don't like her Dat much. Calling each other neighbor and such. The energy was weird.
I’m not a Black woman and it irritates me that people always have to make announcements about a switched up style or if it’s their “real” hair. If you like it, leave it at that but why is it always a concern about Black women’s hair. This happens to Black women all the time. It’s ridiculous for people to not recognize that. The defense of the security guard is sickening.
Thank you for defending us! There's ppl in this comment section that should get it and dont.
@Me-tb8rs I think if she expressed that it's a PROBLEM for her . Then that should be the end of it 😠😠😠😠😠‼️ Don't start "Splain' " about oh no , I didn't mean any harm . I just liked how intricate the design is . And yahda yahda yahda yahda ! If she doesn't like it . THEN STOP IT ! AND LEAVE HER ALONE ABOUT IT ! Stop putting her in a position . Where she feels like . She has to defend or explain herself ! And just let her be a FREE fellow human being . In the same space as you ! No explanations or accountability necessary . EVERYBODY doesn't take this stuff in the same way ! You might see it as being nice or complementary . But they might see it as prying , harassment Or objectivity . In the same way that everybody doesn't like or can't take a JOKE ! There are also people who feel the same way about what was meant to be received as a complement . 💯💯💯💯💯💯
As a black man it's annoying at my job when I switch from cornrows to twists or just wear my hair in the fro...I had to say the same thing "You don't always have to address my hair every time it's different".
@@Jay_Walker92 Exactly
10:22 this young brother has it so twisted. If a white person NEVER complimented me for the rest of my days I wouldn't give a damn. I don't present myself for their gaze, approval, opinion or acceptance.
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 Speak on it
Yes he does.
But most black men do though the yt man's gaze and approval is GOD to them look how they go the extra mile to date a Becky some of these fools would sell they mama's out to get with becky
sure Jan
NOT A DAMN!!!! Keep ur complements!
These are the same people who think that “You’re pretty for a black girl” is a compliment.
Exactly! I almost wrote an entire dissertation explaining this to somebody.
That AND as a chocolate woman, I've also grown up my whole life hearing: "You're pretty for a dark skinned girl". These days I play ignorant, repackage the comment using their appearance and throw it back at them like "Thank you! And you're handsome for a dark skinned man!" or "Aww thank you! You're pretty for a white woman!" I wish I could show y'all the looks on their faces. Suddenly, they understand why "compliments" like that are not compliments at all.
100%
Exactly.
Say that again no compliment where was it?
🙋🏾♀️....
Question....
🤦🏾♀️WHERE'S THE COMPLIMENT?!🤷🏾♀️
Because I CERTAINLY DIDN'T HEAR ONE... 🤷🏾♀️
Let me leave this here just in case someone has the answer because I didn't hear the compliment.
@@JaiK64 neither did I 🤦🏾♀️
White women been wearing extensions for volume for DECADES!!! They need to stop checking for us.
Exactly. Weave queens. I need them to leave us alone.
Even their men wore wigs..
Clip ins, wig pieces, wigs
Egyptians invented the first wigs! PCs copy and steal as usual.
She was talking behind sis back and got called on that ish...
She came into the situation with the phone Already set to record because this was not the first time this has happened.
Those of us who know, know, and they are some of us who are not seeking White validation. It was a back handed compliment, pure and simple.
The “compliment”
Wasn’t made TO her. Her conversation was ABOUT her to someone else in her presence. She wasn’t included in the conversation ABOUT her till she spoke up. Depending on how many times she had to endure being talked over is the issue.
Very very important nuance.
Exactly
Absolutely ridiculous so we're going to start fights over someone trying to be friendly this compared to more serious issues like lack of affordable housing, legislation for weapon control, affordable healthcare, equal pay, fair wages, police reform YOU MEAN TO TELL ME SOMETHING LIKE SOME WHITE WOMEN TRYING TO BE FRIENDLY IS THAT DEEP AND WORTH FIGHTING OVER. DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND HOW RIDICULOUS YOU SOUND. things like this literally just makes you unapproachable and people think twice before being kind to you or including you in anything even my black behind wouldn't include or talk to anyone who acted like that you're entitled to feel and act however just don't be shocked when you find yourself alone and not included in things
That was not a compliment that was turning somebody into a showcase. It's the same mentality they had for years. They just don't put us in the zoo's anymore
Exactly!! Shouting it across the room putting all of the attention on her hair!!!
bingo!
I’m so over Boomers getting mad when we don’t tolerate the same shit they let slide. Commenting regularly on a person’s physical appearance in a work environment is unnecessary across the board. No one enjoys being scrutinized like that but black women are the only ones expected to tolerate it.
EXACTLY... She said she she has experience real micro aggression, but jst because she tolerates and rest in it doesn't mean we should. They are the one who had to bow dwn bck in the day so it's still in thm to do so.
Exactly
Preachin'
"Whoa, I say whoa there now"...I'm a boomer and I totally DISagree with 'old' girl. I'm 63 and I got it! There's a difference between a compliment and an observation. That yt woman security guard didn't 'compliment' her until she got called out--she was critiquing her hair. All while doing it '3rd party' style with someone else in the room. If the yt lady had just started out saying 'hey, love the hair', we wouldn't be having this conversation, but she didn't. I notice a lot of things with people everyday, but it doesn't require commentary from me. Lastly, the Crown Act is on the table for reason--I don't think old girl gets that, but some of us do--maybe because I've been rocking a 'twa for years now. Anywho, Cheers!
I'm not a boomer, I'm a gen-exxer, but I've never put up with that crap. These neanderthals are fragile, and we need to stop treating them with kitten gloves. Wrong is wrong, no matter how micro it is.
I had this white college professor and I’d have anxiety walking into class with a new hairstyle bc every time he would just HAVE to point it out. In front of everybody. A whole thesis statement on how *he* felt about *my* hair… And of course it came off as “nice”, him just being “friendly”, just giving a “compliment”. But even Ray Charles can read a room! I’m just glad she said something bc I didn’t. I just suffered the embarrassment. We laugh/smile so much off and go about our business to not be the typical “black girl” but nah. Tell folks exactly how you feel and exactly where they got you f*ked up. Because it’s really not hard to leave people alone and mind your business.
I think this is where much of the energy in this thread is coming from. I see you and sorry you had to deal with that ish. Despite what the socially ignorant believe this is an issue that needs to be addressed.
I feel you,. but gone are the days. I have sat in that silence far too many times and I am not going to continue to make it okay for people to make my daughter feel the same way that I did.
Facts! The second girl broke it down. Its started with "'see" .... that was not a compliment! She was straight talkng about her while she was in the room! Thats why she had to start filming! Especially if its happened more than once, i can see her being mad. Good for her 👊🏾
She said “See! She came in with pretty hair” 😂😂😂😂 bruh! They literally was talking about her before she entered the room
But she said something positive.
@@mistiqueentourage7182 so I can literally talk shit about you to other people but it’ll be ok if I say one thing that’s positive? 😂 naa, not at all.
@@queenstarlibra none of what she said was negative so what are you talking about?
If you listen, 2 people were already talking about her before she entered the room. Once she entered the room the co-worker says “See” because the topic of discussion walked in. The black lady just set a boundary and educated her on how it was offensive. There’s nothing wrong with that and it’s not rude. The “compliment” was only given after she realized the black lady was offended. The black woman also says this wasn’t an isolated thing. Let’s not skip over that. Micro aggressions in the work place start out as little comments here and there and get worse over time. You have to check it when it happens before it gets worse.
I wish people understood this. The point just jets right over their heads. 😒
Facts
Yes. Thank you. This was simple and obvious. People hear what they want.
So glad this is the first comment.👏🏾
Yep, pretty much everyone who stitched their reply missed that completely.
Sis in the pink shirt nailed it with her take on this situation. She was recording for a reason. I've never known ANY black women, including myself, to seek validation/compliments from wyte women. I just don't want to be judged or discriminated against because of my hair. I've dealt with this same issue in the work place for years. "When are you going change your hair?" "Oh, you curled your hair?" "When are you going to take your braids down?" Like...hello...I have sister locs. 🙄 smh. And Dumebi Lea you are right. If you don't set boundaries, they will take it too far and eventually will want to touch your hair. I make it clear. I come to work to do just that. Not to make "work friends".
I've seen this before done to other co workers....and it's annoying...they like to say, "oh, this is NEW hair today...." Then they stare and do a weird grin like you're a museum display. That's what people don't get. Y'all take anything as "flattery" but it's not....they're mocking you.
A backhanded compliment is an insult. This has probably been going on for a while, and this time, the other guard got called out for it. And as usual, true to their nature, when the guard got called out on her BS went immediately to victim mode. Yes, it was micro aggression because the guard who made the comment about her hair, was discussing her hair with someone b4 by saying "see..her hair... ..." instead of saying hey, cute style...see the diffrence..and no, you dont get points for say afterwords "I thought it was cute"...
..
I think the issue is...why can't certain people can't just say "i love your hair", "your hair looks great "...with certain people its always a discussion or an inquisition as to your switch up. Then you find yourself in a full discussion explaining how you were able to change it up, answer a bunch of questions you don't want to answer...just say you look great and keep it moving! It tends to make you feel like a freak of nature, then they might ask to touch it, and by this point other people around join in...just say your hair looks great!#crownact
Hit it right on the head! Always becomes a discussion and touching. Now I’m standing in front of everyone getting felt up like a new iPhone on display.
@juicymiss87 more like in a petting zoo. I am glad she was prepared to have her checked.
I am disturbed by the amount of ppl trying to justify and downplay this woman’s experience.
So am I!
If you're late to pick your friend up for work so you speed up to get them to work on time. You come around the corner and pull into their driveway not knowing they are waiting in the driveway for you. You accidentally hit them and injure them. Do they have a right to be offended? You sped to try to help them get to work on time. Your intent was kind, but in the end it caused harm. Communication can be the same, not as drastic of course but the same concepts can be applied.
Also, If a guy says "nice ass" everyday to a woman and she asks him to stop, everyone understands. Is it so hard to give the woman in the video the same respect?
Right. If I punch someone in the face trying to kill a fly the fly may be dead but the person is still punched in the face! Impact over intent!
Entire comment is excellent. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽😄
This may seem sooooo outlandish but you really have to be a Black woman to understand. Why do you think we have to have things like The Crown Act? All everyone keeps holding on to “it was a complement.” Those people, especially the older ones, always use “compliments” as insults. You’re not supposed to say anything because they’re old or “they don’t know any better.” For her to record, means this is something they do that annoys her. She probably has tried other ways to let them know they were being annoying. There’s a lot nuance here.
It feels like it. I knew exactly where she was coming from. Even these black men aren't getting it.
Thank you 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
If you get offended by a positive comment no matter how many times it’s stated something is wrong with you. Why be annoyed with positivity unless your negative.
We need to stop explaining. Let's just say ok and walk off. I'm getting off this video. Because I'm starting to hate everybody.
@@skyreacher3846That’s the same exact response people have after saying “you’re pretty for a black girl” all because they called you pretty. There are underlying insults behind certain comments. She pointed it out and set her boundary. Because like the yt woman said, it wouldn’t have been stated the same way had she been white.
This is a consistent back door method that these women use to attempt to throw shade on black women. It's portrayed as a kind act when it's questioned, but it's certainly NOT. It's often thinly disguised disdain to bring contempt for her wearing hair that didn't grow from her scalp. White women have worn hair extensions for ages with no attention or discussion, because they would feel disparaged for slyly pointing out how much more volume, length, texture, etc they now have. We all know not to embarrass white women by saying things to draw attention where they don't want it.
People can't regulate how someone feels about what's being said about them! TF! It's giving that she's had a run in with this person before, possibly. But either way, she feels how she feels about it-period! If it didn't feel like a compliment to HER, then it didn't feel like a compliment!! Let that woman have her legitimate feelings about HER experience!!
Exactly she had a run in before that’s why she had her camera ready.
The problem is this usually starts off seemingly harmless but as it goes unchecked, it'll get more and more intrusive. I've had situations where these comments escalate to someone feeling comfortable enough to touch your hair or make "jokes" that they think are appropriate
Sometimes the good have to suffer for the bad. 🤷♀️
Yep exactly
@@LadyKayyedamn that bullish. She was the topic before she walked into the building. You YT people need to learn what a compliment is.
My bad thought you was yt I went in on you. But we shouldn’t have to suffer we suffer enough.
I have never had that happen to me because I am going to shut it down before it starts 😂.
@@queenmommie100 I know that's right lol
Not surprised so many Blk men didn’t get it
I was just thinking that! I was like I guess they never had that happen to them or they’re just that disconnected!
She wasn't rude at all, she stated that her pointing it out every time makes her uncomfortable. She has a right to ask this woman to not make her a spectacle every time she walks by.
“I would have taken the compliment away…” spoken like a true insecure GIRL! Please mind your business sweetheart 🤦🏽♀️
This! I agree x1000! Since when is not wanting to take a compliment considered rude? Mind your business and stop telling ppl how to receive something
This! Plus she started out saying she was an introvert, but said she would have read her. Naw she’s just a mean girl claiming to be an introvert to disguise her shadiness.
She irritated me the most lmao.
Coming from someone who recently left a job where my hair changes were the talk of the office, I see nothing wrong with how our Sister responded to her coworker. It's best to stop it now than to wait until the micro aggression gets bolder and bolder. It starts with conversations amongst other non blacks, it progresses to them giving compliments here and there, then it moves to what Sis is dealing with right now. If she doesn't nip it in the bud now it will grow wildly to eventually them wanting to know exactly what's in her hair, how she got it done that way to eventually them trying to touch and inspect the hairstyle. Trust and believe if you give some people an inch they will for sure take a whole mile. Set boundaries and set them unapologetically.
The lady who was told not to continue didn't even make a deal of the issue. But so many people on tiktok took it upon themselves to say horrible things on her behalf.
If you feel the need to 'humble' someone for not giving you the reaction you want, you have a problem.
What's that chicks Tik Tok.
@@sinverrette9803 I'm not on there, so I don't know.
I was in this same situation once or twice. One particular time, my white supervisor called me out in front of a room full of people. She said that I had dread locks and it wasn’t even dread locks, it was box braids!!! I’m a quiet person, and all eyes were on me at that moment. I was embarrassed. She kept insisting that I was wearing dread locks and even took a picture. In the end, she did say that they looked nice, but I still didn’t feel comfortable or complimented.
And I don’t like to be the center of attention around whit people. I have a fear of it breeding jealousy and malice towards me down the line.
Girl she went to far with the picture. Than they call us aggressive but they never see the bs they do or what they twins do.
Thank you
Goodness, so sorry to hear that you experienced that especially since you have particular feelings about the attention.
I feel you. I have sister locs and I've asked multiple times about when am I taking my "braids" out. smh
❤🩹
People needs to understand the difference between backhanded compliments/shade and actual compliments.
That lady was not sincere about her “compliment”. Saying something every day about someone appearance (especially a particular appearance) is the same as
*“I could never, but do you boo boo” or “you’re brave, it could never be me”*
A couple of the ppl in the stitches were absolutely oblivious of the whole situation!
There was no compliment....
So, apparently, they don't know the definition of what a compliment is.
No, I'm with team video girl just by the fact I get tired every time I walk an organization that I'm a part of that someone have to say something about my hair. No hair ever gets mentioned, just mine but even worst when they say the so-called compliment then go to reach for the touch..uggggg sorry not a compliment and I'm not your pet poodle.
Girl make it work for u! Those r ur fans ! 🤮 Treat them accordingly!!! 😆😆😆🎂💯💯💯
It’s about time somebody other than myself expressed how annoying this is…. I feel this woman 💯%, to the point where it’s killing my whole mood the night before going somewhere just because I KNOW someone will have SOMETHING to say… it’s not the compliment I fear, it’s the HAIR PATROL KARENS…
Hair patrol Karen 😅😅
They were employment gossipers not Karens everything is not about race so maybe she just shouldn't come her hair guess what they will talk about her then too .Worry about real race issues like for example black people being shot and killed for nothing other than being black.
👍🏽👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
@@danawhite6458when non black people start respecting black peoples boundaries then it wouldn’t be an issue. This is the same as having an unwanted compliment from a man.
Two things can be true at the same time, all of this picking and choosing of what’s important is stupid, all the issues are important and intertwine with eachother.
If palm colored people can’t even respect simple boundaries how is racism and discrimination going to end? Answer that please DANA.
@@itzTeTeYes Preach tell it to Dana in the back. B1!!!
We all saw this on a public stage when Gabrielle Union took issue with Simon Cowell and the staff of America's got talent taking a position against her changing her hair regularly on the show. So this is not new. We have seen this play out on the public stage all over the US. The fact that people of color are acting so benign to this is ridiculous to me IT IS THE REASON WE HAVE THE CROWN ACT! They tend to be overly concerned with what we are doing scrutinizing and criticizing us to the point of making us feel like bugs under a microscope! Some people can't see the microaggression but would feel very differently if they walked into a room and someone was already talking about them and continued the conversation with see... blah blah blah... blah blah... If I have my hair in a pixie cut one day and down my back the next day it's nobody's concern and if they want to make a compliment it sounds like oh that's a nice hairstyle. Oh that's pretty! Oh that's beautiful!
.. It doesn't sound like a critique. Scrutinization and overt observation which is completely unnecessary. Let's not be so light-headed and inconsiderate of each other's cultural differences.
Preachhhhhhhhmy goodness watching black men and woman acting like picke me to the palm colored folk diaspora whilst puttin us down my goodness it's black women against EVERYONE
Wait a minute.. that happened to Gabrielle Union??! 😳😳
All of this! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
The crown act has to do with discrimination. Speaking about a person's hair is not discrimination. No job is rejecting a person simply because a coworker says oh she had beautiful curls yesterday and now she has beautiful dreads today. Please if you are going to talk about the Crown Act please use it correctly.
She might have recorded it, because she had done this same thing before. Micro aggressions my be different to different people. By letting the small stuff slide that there is so much big stuff. We had to get to the crown act so black people wouldn’t loose their job because of their job. There are still bills on the books in a few states that lynching in still allowed.
They should start with themselves if they want to lynch someone!
I can relate to this woman in the video. Every time we switch up our hair, yt people have something to say, as if they’ve never seen a black woman before or they don’t know that black women commonly switch up their hair. I don’t mind compliments, but it’s the “oh can I touch it?” “is that all your hair?” “Are those extensions?”
Like, I appreciate the compliment and yes I know it’s cute but can you please mind your business?? And no you cannot touch me. Thank you.
I would leave out the please! I'll nip it in the bud!
The first girl talking really annoyed me. She really has no idea what she's talking about. She's not black so she has no idea how this girl feels. She said nothing wrong, it's like strangers coming to touch your hair. We get fired and kicked out of schools because of our hair. kids get kicked out off of teams because of our hair. I will never understand the black men are missing the point right along with everyone else. Most black women understand her some don't but clearly it's something that happens often and she doesn't like it so she asked her not to do it. So what's the problem here? Why can't she speak up about something that bothers her?
At this point through whole America away because that was a big micro aggression
Everyone wants to touch my hair when I unshrink it.
Don’t let them put that bad energy into your hair.
@@Sunny-tc3ulexactly!
Remember in the movie "Guess Who?" with Bernie Mac & Zoe Saldana when Ashton Kutcher talks how his grandmother said, "I just love her cute lil nappy hairs!"? Zoe's grandpa wanted to whoop that old palm colored lady's @ss & then Ashston tried to excuse it by saying, "Well my grandmother is from a different time...." blah blah blah. Well Zoe's grandfather was from that same era & he didn't appreciate the "compliment" toward his granddaughter.
The 1st person stitching was lost and so CAP. She couldn't humble pie if given a piece. Sometimes it's best to just Huuuuuuush 🙄
She annoyed me to the core. Like is she even black "enough" to understand why it's not nice for people to speak about your hair whether it's bad or "nice"(whuch that nice has undertone of being comical about someone's hair)
@@nandim6282 she annoyed me as well. Just long winded and COMPLETELY off base.
Girl she said she would have humbled her. I was like nah you would have gotten humbled and play froggie if you want to. Some people think they are about that life. FA&FO.
💯💯 🙄🙄🙄
My thoughts exactly … wouldn’t bust a grape in a fruit fight! 😒 I would’ve 👋🏾’d fire outta her. Lol.
First off, for her to have had her camera ready considering the situation she has obviously experienced this before. It made sense for her to film it. Obviously, there are those of us who aren't aware of the microaggressions they experience on a daily basis. This simply brings about some awareness. And, I don't know about you but who starts off a genuine compliment with an off handed observation? Not to mention she was being discussed with another person prior to her coming into contact with them both. Any woman who is confused about this or thinks she is out of line apparently doesn't deal with other women very often as I see this among women a lot, especially jealous women. She tried to pull some fly ish and got called out and then tried to back pedal with a compliment. This "microaggression" was properly identified in my opinion.
U r most excellent!💯💯💯💯💯💯
I can see both sides of the argument on an objective level, but seeing the video it's almost like this woman has dealt with this security guard saying slick stuff before, and happened to be recording and ready for her to make another comment because she did NOT miss a beat in telling her just how she felt about the "compliment" given. Context is sorely missing in this scenario. Plus, seemingly there was a conversation about her before she even entered the space...WHY!
She was already talking about that black lady before she even entered the room! Go listen to the video again!
The guy in a red durag is he serious , ain't nobody checking for his new rag every day, really.
I thought she did a phenomenal job expressing this … She spoke for herself, yet spoke for everybody else ✊🏽🖤… can’t wait for the part 2… waiting to here the ACTUAL compliment 😊
She literally said "see she can in with pretty curls and now she.... 😂😂
Yep started with "See". Already a conversation when not present. They were talkimg about weaves and extension then sugar coat the different styles as a compliment to cover the insult earlier discussed.
Im sorry, maybe i missed it, but....
... exactly WHERE was the compliment 🤔
Exactly!!!! Eew these people talking about she should just accept the compliment. What compliment? The lady was talking about her hair to someone else, who was the woman to discuss what looks nice on the black girl?
@@Heat_Rush it's another one of those things that make ppl who are truly racess expose themselves by jumping on it so quick and running their mouths. I GAIR rone TEE, if this was about how a Trans, dresses up like a boy one day, and a girl the next.. (especially with that "SEE??.." she said).. the world would be clutching their pearls 🙄
Let me leave this here, maybe someone heard the compliment that we all didn't hear.
@@JaiK64 seems as if many heard what I did NOT hear 😅😅
If you’re not a black woman nine times out of ten you’re not going to get this , the world stays telling black women how to feel but don’t want to ever listen ! I know exactly what she’s saying because I have experienced it . The world hates when black women set boundaries . She didn’t like it ….. PERIOD that’s all that matters
What you guys don’t get is the young lady is correct. I just watched a different video where the lady lost her job because of the comments on the hair. And lady lost her job because she didn’t want to spend time with the coworkers. This is how it starts.
She also knew it was coming. She was prepared. Meaning it has happened before.
Whenever I would wear my mink coat to work, I'd keep it folded lining side up on the vacant desk next to mine. I've come back from the ladies room a few feet away to find someone usually "yte" petting my coat, or blowing on the hairs to see if it was real. I'd ask why they were blowing on my coat that they had to handle to flip, they'd answer and then I'd ask what conclusion they'd come to. Guess what? They'd ask if it was real mink. 😂😂😂😂
Blowing on your coat??? I can’t 💀🤔😂
Any time you walk into a room than all the sudden someone says, “SEE!!! I told you she!!!” Why am I the topic to your conversation? My hair at that. If you like my hair just say that I like your hair and keep it moving. These YT folks and black men are something else.
Exactly! Like why are y'all discussing anything about me
The first person who claims that it was a compliment, needs to know English and body language, bcuz, the lady was already being discussed by the people she walked in on .
I am surprised that black people disagreed with her about the problem. Did they not hear the way the so called compliment was given? If she comments on her hair everytime she changes it, that is not a compliment. She could have just said your hair looks nice not is was different before
Nope, because their in a sunken place
It's not a compliment... we deal with this shit every day ... oh you changed your hair again... we have issues with hair every where we go ... nobody wants to be reminded every 5 seconds about it...
Yeah. It felt backhanded. Almost as if she was making fun of her hair changing with the people she was talking with but hiding it and proving to them on how she always changes it but hid it in a compliment.
Ok i had to say something about this...
First and foremost no one knows (the woman on the side talking) what nationality she is.
Second: If it was a compliment why didn't she say it to her instead of who ever was standing next to her?
Third: I have had co-workers (that I only know they work there) strangers on the street just walking up to me and reach to touch my hair without my permission so hell yeah I know actually how's she feel.
As for the light blub that called her a dog (you know who you are) but for those of you who missed it I'm talking about the first person talking out the side of her face about this, how many times have you been mistaken for white?
I just love people that grow a set when they are behind closed doors or in there mother's basement also if you have common sense this is a on going thing with this person so She felt the need to film this encounter for what ever reason which is Her right to do.
Miss Lady you have the right to feel about any and everything that is said to you dealing with yourself some people are just stuck on stupid.
KEEP YOUR HEAD UP ❤
I listen to this each stitch, you can tell she been making little jabs for a minute. The situation built up to this.
It’s very similar to the comment that you’re very pretty for a black girl
Omg! Yes!
Oh you’re so well spoken and stunning for a black girl/woman. It happened at 5 yes 5. Lol I was like damn I just want to exists. Even then I could tell that they were saying other Black aren’t …I was like wait what? It’s giving you are token diet black- you’re one of the good ones vibe. It’s very jarring and I continue to set boundaries because it’s can get off the charts. I have a white male business partner that’s a boomer. He said idk but that was weird why would that white woman say that -to be passive aggressive. If he knew come on!
See we Black Americans always catch how they operate and really are maybe one day Africans and Caribbean will catch up and stop seeing them as a white savior.
Literally shut up.
The black dude is ridiculous as if we are the standard of beauty 🤦🏽♀️ let ppl feel how they feel and stop denying the existence of micro aggressions
I had a co-worker say "did you wash your hair?", NOT your hair smells good. . . . .Soooo which one is a compliment?. . . .
Before making a comment or stab at this video, the respondents should watch it from beginning to end. She interrupts the conversation when she walks upon someone gossiping about her and asks them to stop speaking about her. It is actually a response to the palm colored lady that people are asking this woman to accept not a compliment. I feel ashamed of the woman who actually called this woman a female dog. I have zero respect for you and I hope you get it yourself together before you try and educate someone on what they should and should not accept . We all could use a class on respect and boundaries. I see nothing wrong with this lady saying please respect me . I feel uncomfortable with you discussing me as an object, please I have boundaries and you are crossing them. As for the man that made videos, they did what i anticipated they would do, come to the rescue of the palm colored people. Respect the Black
I took it as a palm colored woman showing her racism by being really triggered by a Black woman having personal boundaries. I have no respect for the palm colored woman as she had a high level of viciousness discussing the sister's reaction. Any sign of Black people setting personal boundaries seem to outrage racists. I noticed this at work myself.
Hope you are feeling well and the bed rest is helping. Thanks for still giving us content. 🖤🖤🖤
Thank you so much for checking.
I’m fully recovered now, just doing voiceovers for the time being because I have family over and I haven’t had time to film, but I’ll do so soon.
Thanks for your concern 💜🙏🏽
They were definitely discussing if she wore wigs…😒
Hi guys, that definitely was NOT a compliment & it isn't even limited to palm coloured people. As someone who has struggled with her hair for over a decade and now its growing and I can do alot with it. I do get alot of those 'compliments' from fellow black people & they aren't even nice due to the delivery... when you complement someone you just have to complement the person without snide remarks then they will take the compliment.
People do not need OR want a "backhanded" compliment! It is just that basic!
Some of these people need to look up the definition of a compliment because this, THIS is not a compliment. As well as micro aggression because this IS a micro aggression.
One time right before I locd my hair, I came to work with an Afro and at the time they literally stopped a whole staff meeting, everyone in the company, to talk about my hair and “complimenting” me, not understanding how fing weird it is.
Girl, yes! Been there before. We have to set boundaries or it will only progress from there
To stop a meeting just to talk about hair style.I would be to embarrassed as an introvert.
@@marlomchenry1784 an introvert with social anxiety!
She wasn't complimenting her. She was talking about her to another person knowing that she was going to be coming through the door, so she could say see there she is I told you. She was going to continue to say that before she was cut off and then gave the compliment, to make up for talking about her in the first place.
im white with curly hair and as a little girl i was basically an attraction because of my hair so i 100% understand this woman and other black women. when you constantly get comments on your hair, especially when you change it is annoying. period. and this woman has every right to point it out. and that's without adding the race and culture behind which adds even more to this topic
Either tell them thank you or to kiss wear the sun doesn't shine or the moon doesn't glow It's your hair ,do what you want with it. Pick your battles people We as black people have real battles life threatening ones to fight.
There is a difference between a compliment and sarcasm. We 🤷🏿♀️know the difference!🤦🏿♀️ Be real is it Rism/jealousy!..we are NOT considered the standard of "beauty" and we do NOT care about other people's hair but "others" are obviously obsessed with ours🤦🏿♀️Get over yourselves already and leave 🤷🏿♀️alone!
Some of the people who responded to the video didn’t really listen to what the security guard said. When giving someone a compliment, you don’t start by saying “see she had curls and now”. That’s not a compliment!!!
I’m tired of folks telling black women how to feel. The first response video pissed me off. Curly hair WHERE?!?
That first girl can go to hell
Not a compliment
The thing that bothers me about the older woman is that she feels we can’t feel something about something “small” because they dealt with much bigger like ma’am. I can feel what I want
She did not need to mention her switching up hairdos period!!
I think she was correct in what she said. And, she probably had her camera ready to go to film the interaction because it has happened more than once. And, what's the reason for calling out her hair to someone else in the room? Why is the lady trying to draw attention to how often she changes her hair? What statement is trying to make? Is it she thinks she gets paid too much and has no real responsibilities and that's why she can afford to change it so often? Whatever the speculation, it's not the security guards business at all. Worry about yourself and mind your business.
And 2nd stitch is exactly what I was relating before seeing this video I already seen it on tik tok y'all need to understand underback compliments smh we catch on as BA but others don't
It’s the you should feel honored that I validated you, for me. Like honey who wants or needs your validation! They get soo pissed that not all of us fall head over heels because of their compliment and they take it as a slight that you a bw who is beneath me don’t want me a ww to uplift you. And like the second commenter said who starts off a “compliment “ with see!!!
I don’t think it was meant as a compliment. I think a lot of people failed to think about whether or not this was an isolated incident. In fact, the fact that she was recording it says that the other lady habitually comments on her hair. This was probably not the first, second, or third time.
I’ve had coworkers comment on my hair literally every time I changed it, and it was always to comment on which hairstyle they liked best. When other people change their hair, nobody feels the need to give their two cents about the style, and nobody says, “oh, I liked the black better.” They either complement it or point it out.
She changed her hair, and she knew that Miss ma’am was going to say something so she recorded it and expressed to her why she didn’t like what she was doing. I don’t see the harm in that.
💯💯
Facts
Thanks for covering this because "FREEDOM OF SPEECH" has been taken too far out of context where personal boundaries are no longer your very own. "FREE OF SPEECH" does not mean to disrespect someone either. We must know the difference in giving an opinion (even if it is not wanted). But because we have that right and liberty in America; we often abuse it. We now Police someone's anatomy, person life/ sexual preferences/ and who people chose to be with. We speak on the unimportant things in the Black that causes us to fight each other even in Gender Wars of Black Men and Black Women against each other that causes us to be Anti each other and sooner or later even Anti-Black while we are already there with inside problems of COLORISM (light skin vs. dark skin) which at one point (when it came to all Black women as a whole in Beauty Standards; that tried to die down and I think it did a bit) but now Black Men are doing this to each each other (whereas at one point this did not matter between us) I figured a few things out to (EXPLAIN WHY NOW IN 2023) because this problem with Black Men in this generation they've become feminized even with a very masculine look... It more of their ways now that demonstrate these bias actions against one another and it usually comes from The Light Skin Modern Day Black Man who says he was picked on for being mixed (which I am tired of hearing) or that someone is jealous of his looks or his blatant disrespect and judgment on someone else's looks and often getting a pass to disrespect just like racist White Folks because of his mixed race while being anti-black himself. It is getting ridiculous so by us fighting each other this too has given White Folks a reason to slip through the cracks of our arguments and fighting to become their entertainment value and bowl of popcorn as they too give their disrespectful opinion that says: "LOOK AT THE NIGGAZ FIGHTING EACH OTHER... SO I SHOULD BE ABLE TO GIVE MY OPINION TOO." -Kwaufi Nino
People are forgetting one point. These People work together and meet regularly. There is a lot of background that we do not know. If someone feels a certain way, you cannot tell them how to feel.
And for that person that asked why is she recording? It’s because it has happened more than one time and she decided to put her micro aggression on blast. Every time she changes her hair she has something to say. So she recorded it. Leave black people hair alone please!
Exactly!
She simply could have said I like your hair and left it at that. The rest was unnecessary.
I think she recorded it to show her yt TikTok followers what not to say regarding a black woman's appearance. That could be the missing context that she may not have added to the post caption or something like that. However, it's clear that she was being talked about before entering the room, which makes what our sister @4:10 and our brother @7:45 said all the more valid. I just can't stand when older black folks who let far too much slide and non-black people who don't understand the experience victim- blame microaggressions. It's annoyingly sad that it takes allies like homegirl @15:52 to put things into perspective for boomers and non-black people who never seem to get it.
Maaaaan when I tell you homegirl at 15:50 was speaking facts it hurt me that black men and women the coons in the vids didn't get it it's disgusting
Now if she was petty and just said to the guard, “You’re so sweet and special as can be. Bless your heart! I was just telling my friend on my phone here just how special you are before I even walked in and saw you.” Then the security guard would feel some type of way for the false compliment. All the words sound nice but we all know they are not, right? Exactly!
Leave it to a black man 🤦🏾 5:35
The standard of beauty has always and will always be the ww thanks to people like him. Just because people are seeing our versatility doesn't mean we're all of a sudden the standard for beauty. Besides that, what does the beauty standard have to do with what our Sis is going through. The whole situation went over his head because he too rhinks we should be grateful that someone is paying attention to us. Like bruh 🤦🏾
12:53 grand aunty. No you didn’t deal with real micro aggression it was straightforward aggression but you knew you couldn’t do anything about it. She recorded the encounter because unlike your experience that’s what micro aggression is. She got it on video, since micro aggressions fly under the radar vs blatant shade. The fact you didn’t pick up on micro aggression proves the point since you’re used to actual aggression. But bless your heart👀
Exactly, she knew she couldn't do anything about it so she chose to make fun of herself to appease her coworkers. We don't have to live like that.
Over ya heads....completely.......
the fact that she shut HER down...KNOWING AND BUILDING UP TO FINALLY DEMOLISHED HER ON VID....SHOWS.......she's an OG.....
I'm in my early 50s and I'm not a big fan of compliments. I don't like the feeling it gives me of being put in the spotlight. I'm a very low key person, have never liked being "seen" though I know I am very much so. Anywho, i feel that some of those who feel she may have been ungrateful or rude should realize everyone is different and some don't want or NEED compliments.
Working with fake, condescening white women who give fake compliments is so annoying!!! After a while, it can be exhausting and it gets old. Ladies, set strong boundaries in the beginning of any job with every coworker, and stick to them.
Here is the funny thing… the young woman in the first video never needed to get consensus from others to decide whether or not she found the white lady’s comments offensive. She did find the offensive. Period. She said what she said and she told the lady where her red line was….and she did it politely. So everyone else’s opinion doesn’t matter. Isn’t it funny how that works.
I feel where she’s coming from… I feel the same way too whenever I change my hair and get told about it every time I go to work
This generation does not easily take offense .NO. We are just more informed and pre-disposed to say how we feel there and then, if necessary. Plus her annoyance had nothing to do with the fact that she was talking to a security officer.
I'm going to be 60 in a few months. That woman got off light. Why make a loud public spectacle about a strangers hair and how many times she changes it? It's none of her business. If it were meant to be a compliment, she would've just said "Your hair looks nice". There was a time when we were expected to put up with those kind of idiotic comments from random white people as if we are inanimate objects or just dogs. Times have changed. We dont have to accept that anymore. I would have been offended. That woman got off easy. She would've gotten more than just a talking to from me. Shes on duty. She shouldve just done her job and kept the personal comments to herself. I don't put up with that kind of familiarity. I wear locks nowadays. Sure I get stares and surprised expressions. But I dare any stranger to get too familiar with me to try and make a spectacle out of me. They will regret it. I'm getting hot just thinking about it. OMG!
Thank you! You get it!
@JaiK64 I sure do get it. Back in the day, random white PPL used to think it was funny to make jokes about us wearing box braids with extensions. They used to try and embarrass us openly saying "saying everybody knows black girls don't have long hair. Its fake!" They did it loud and in a crowd of peers or work environment just to make it as humiliating as possible. Then people would laugh, point and talk about you as if you weren't standing there or a dog. They'd be like "oh you can't take a joke." They weren't joking. And that security guard wasn't offering a compliment. I would have lodged a complaint with her company. That's how mad this makes me. 😡