try a work out routine, but cut down on calories if you're gaining weight :) ask at a gym if you really need some advice - it's your body, do with it what you will!
Chandler is a cutie. It's super important to note that starting any kind of hormone is huge decision. One that should be considered carefully. But at the end of the day we all gotta do what makes us happy and keeps us safe. I commend Chan for doing exactly that
Ash Hardell I didn't transition but I'm kinda in the boat with Mileschronicles more so. I would feel way more comfortable as a guy only because I have more body dysphoria then Chandler. And I actually like he/him. I guess I'm a Demi boy because yes I feel "feminine" and only feel male ever.
I have friends who are nonbinary and transmasculine who are taking T; I am also nonbinary. I've never asked what their specific goals are with it though. I know two of us definitely want to have top surgery (me in the next 5 years, them sooner). I'm still not sure if I'll take T since right now the con list is higher than pros, but I love watching videos like this where people talk about their reasons for or not taking hormones.
Ash Hardell Why do you insist on living in echo chamber? I used to believe in these things. Made a lot of sense to me. Luckily, I decided to see what others thought. Still in the middle on some things, but at least I listen. How much research have you done in the middle? On the opposite side? Or are you just looking at things that agree with you?
To be really really honest, as a straight-identifying woman, I never understood or got all the LGBTQ+, genderspectrum (or how to say this) or anything involved, because it doesn't speak to me. Which is exactly why I watch video's like this, to still educate myself that not all people feel like I do. Because my social circle has no people of the LGBTQ community, I think it's very easy to forget that other people don't think the same way do.
Yeah, that's really cool you want to learn things that may not be very useful for you right now but can help you understand some social issues and not be a target of hateful alt-right bs in the future. We really need more aware citizens like you to be safe, so thank you for being the change
You go Chandler! so well spoken and glad you got to start T so you can get to where you want to be. Hopefully someday people will start off with your pronouns off the bat! best wishes~
I often get the feeling that since masculine is read as neutral and female as other, a lot of enbys present in a very androgynous/ masculine way. Which is of course understandable, esp. in the presence of misgendering and heteronormative society. But I just want everyone to know, that nonbinary (in my case agenderflux) afab femmes exist too! Lovely video you two
Hey! Fellow femme-presenting afab nonbinary person here! :D Gender expression doesn't have to "match up" with gender identity in ways people expect and you and I are no less nonbinary for the way we choose to look ^u^b
afab femmes are awesome..I myself identify as non binary jus started t today..but when I seen the first afab femme in my life..I immediately thought NB IS DOOOPE! all forms
I only recently accepted that I'm not cis and hearing two educated, admirable people talking about this kinda stuff is really, really helpful :) As always, you're a wonder, Ash
Olivia Grant It depends on the day. Most days they/them works best, but I stick with she/her for now even though it can be painful to hear. The label I find fits best is probably genderflux, so depending on the day I could range from completely agender to almost completely female
Kyanon Shaman It's different for everyone I think, but for me, I started researching gender because I realized I have dysphoria. Plus, my sister accidentally used they/them pronouns for me and I just felt this surge of euphoria, while she/her had often felt like an ill-fitting dress I had to deal with. The more I found out, the more I realized I'm not cis, and it scared me so I resisted it for a long time, but now I'm getting to a place of understanding :)
DOGGYDOGG theyre literally in their mid twenties therefore legal adults. your definition of a child is a reach and being a child doesnt mean you aren't educated lmao
This is really great information. I didn't know that NB people could take testosterone and I'm really happy that it's a thing. I don't know if as a NB/gender fluid individual I'd want to start T but I really like that there is an option. I'm really happy for you Chandler! I hope everything goes well for you.
i hope this does not come off as insensitive since you're both very sweet but something i really don't understand is how chandler expects to look NB to the public. depending on who is looking- they will assume they are either male or female. if chandler takes T, people will then assume they are a 'he'. if chandler stays how they are people will continue to assume they are a young boy/girl. so aren't they kind of stuck always looking either or? the 'misgendering' is not going to stop. since society is not used to NB people yet- just "he" or "she". edit: oh as i was watching they just answered my question hahaha. i guess i just don't understand the difference between being NB and wanting to look/feel male and just being a trans man. this is so interesting to me
ShoeOnHead, Here's the gist of the theory: Sex is biological, whereas gender is a social construct, so if you don't fit into the socially constructed gender roles of male and female, then you should alter your physical body through drugs, radical hormone therapy, and/or plastic surgery so that you better conform to social norms and expectations. e.g. one gender norm is that women are shorter than men, so *for over 50 years perfectly healthy young girls who were "too tall" have been prescribed dangerous hormone therapy to stop/stunt their growth,* so that their height is more "womanly". another gender norm is that women don't like sports or guns, or climbing trees, etc. so if you're a woman who likes these things, you should chop your tits off, and undergo dangerous hormone therapy that may lead to sterility to better conform to artificial, socially imposed, gender norms. I mean hell, why should people learn to love and accept themselves, when we can medicalize gender nonconformity, and encourage people to undergo expensive, dangerous, life-altering hormone therapy and plastic surgery to change their bodies so they better conform to arbitrary social norms?
plus, the pharmaceutical/surgical industries that financially support transgenderist ideology are sure to make a killing, so that might be good for the economy. and again, why love/accept yourself as you are when you can surgically/hormonally alter your body to better conform to social standards?
everything chandler said was so prefect. They put it so beautifully and truly expressed themselves in a simple and easy to understand way. soft spoken and kind, what a lovely person!
Being a genderfluid makes me think the same about T. Balancing both genders make me feel agender and then I can just be whatever gender I want when I want just by changing clothes. It probably do not make sense for many people, but for me being a genderfluid, getting a agender body makes everything easyer to "turn into" (fisically). T would really help me.
I'm in the same boat. I'm genderfluid and want to be able to be read as different genders. T would help me be more androgynous to enable me to do that instead of nearly always being read as female. I just had a consultation about testosterone earlier this week and now I'm doing lots of research. I haven't made a decision yet because I know you can't choose or control all the changes and some are not reversible. I want to keep doing research and soul-searching to make a fully informed decision.
I think I am genderfluid. Still not very sure. But I get this thing. I wish I could look more masculine and be assumed more masculine. Reading your comment, I felt like you meant a blank slate/board and then you can.. like start projecting yourself depending on how you feel. That's what I might want. Idk yet. But glad to know I was not the only person feeling like this. Sorry if I said anything wrong.. Take care. :)
This is seriously really comforting to hear. I actually recognized Chandler from way back in their coming out video. I'm really unsure about whether or not i want to go on T, but this video is really comforting in my thought process. Chandler pretty much has every kind of gender-related thought I do lol
I relate sooo heavily to the itchy sweater analogy. Currently on the fence myself but it's been nice to see my exact feelings spoken so accurately by someone else
I used to be homophobic when I was younger, I thought people could just choose one gender or sex to be attracted to. I know now, that that is just false. I am concerned because I dont understand nonbinary genders and I am afraid of making the same mistake again, hurting others because I dont understand. While I disagree with some of the things that you say, I enjoy your videos and I am hoping that one day I will understand. How is being nonbinary different from being a tomboy? Is there body dysphoria? I think people can live their lives however they want and I don't want to offend or hurt anyone. I do however, want to understand why people want to live their lives in ways that are different than what I am accustomed to, especially when it seems so hard to do.
Well here's the thing, people who identify in the non-binary spectrum are not male or female (don't get I confused with drag or tomboy, those are different) are not trying to get attention, they just are this way, the transgender brain works exactly but not fully like the non-binary brains, their brains are telling them one thing and their body is telling them another and the reason is different from tomboy is because being a tomboy is a female that is okay identifying as female but shows a masculine personality and fashion but non-binary is neither male or female, it could be both, I could be neither, it could be all in different ways, the list goes on and etc., scientists believe in these gender identities but they only have theories about it but still don't have a solid fact of why they have these identities I'm non-binary and I'm AMAB (assigned male at birth) and I don't really fit towards male or female, I just always feel that way and people confuse me for being gay because I don't act masculine or feminine (a mixture of both and that means androgynous) but I promise I'm NOT trying to get attention (the most common non-binary stereotype) I just am that way and I'm actually afraid to get attention because I'm born with anxiety, I'm an introvert, and I have HSP. And also it's fine if you don't agree with everyone Ash says because everyone has opinions and that's also fine but America is not open towards these gender identities so not a lot of people know that ( that's also another stereotype, that it "originated from Tumblr") and Lastly, Yes non-binary can have gender dysphoria because of their gender assigned at birth but when it comes to gender expression, they usually don't transition to a different binary gender and if you are open minded that's fine and valid but just because you are open minded towards these people, that DOESN'T mean that you have to learn these identities, it's fine if you are but it's your decision to learn more or not And also it's fine if you misgender someone and use the incorrect pronouns because they won't get offended just say sorry and move along, it's like bumping into something, just say sorry and move along and you can also say they/them as a pronoun because it's both a plural noun and a singular noun, you use it in a daily basis without realizing it sometimes but anyways that just my opinion towards your comment
Hancell Gomez Thanks for taking the time to reply to my comment. I still have a lot of questions but I won't bore you with them here. I am curious to hear stories about identities that are like your own being male assigned at birth to non binary. There are a lot of female to non binary people on youtube but do you know of any male to non binary youtubers? I am really interested in trying my best to understand gender and what it means to people. Not to prove or justify anything, but just to make myself and the world a little bit better.
Riley J Dennis is a non-binary person who was assigned male at birth. While she is more female-aligned, she has spoken in the past about not completely identifying with womanhood.
ohmygod youve just introduced me to the fact that non-binary people can take t! im non-binary and i often feel like i look a bit too feminine to be comfortable in my body but i always thought that, because im not trans, that wouldn't be ok.
Hey Ash please can you do a video discussing the side effects of taking testosterone and oestrogen? Bc I think it's great that hormone treatment is available for non binary/trans/etc people, and I myself am AFAB and plan to fully transition over the next few years including taking testosterone, but there are some consequences people have to consider! Unfortunately it's not all sunshine and rainbows, not all of the effects of hormones are reversible even if you decide to stop taking them, they make you sterile, there are ongoing studies that suggest a link between testosterone and ovarian cancer (although I would really need to look into that further to back up that statement) and also it increases your risk of forming blood clots; this could lead to an increased risk of having a heart attack or stroke in later life. If you want to take hormones, go for it, but ONLY if you're willing to face the consequences and are certain that it's worth it and will improve your quality of life overall! Please help spread the message by telling both sides of the story, I loved hearing about Chandlers personal experience with T, and I think you're both lil gems 😁
I get the sentiment behind wanting Ash to talk about the downsides and not just the upsides, but you can only be prescribed testosterone or estrogen by a doctor...and usually only after weeks to months of discussion to make sure it's the right choice for you. That conversation - what you want to achieve by being on hormones and what the risks are - is one that is and needs to be had with your doctor, particularly because some of the details change based on your particular medical history.
That's a really good point actually! They didn't discuss the process of getting access to testosterone either, which maybe be a helpful point in the right direction for people who are looking to go on T.
chandler is very articulate and insightful. i've never really considered this before but it's so interesting and informative. thank you so much for sharing
Ohhh myyy goooooood!!! I got distracted at so many moments during this video because I feel I'm a lot like Chandler, even physically. I loved the video, thank you!! :)
I'm genderqueer and I wanna be on T (and stay on it... and transition socially to male) for pretty much the same reasons as Chandler. I also have a lot of dysphoria because of my voice and other things, but body dysphoria isn't the main reason. I feel very similar in that the gender I was assigned at birth doesn't fit me at all, and while "male" doesn't fit me perfectly either, it's better. The country I live in is very binary with no neutral pronouns in the language, and when choosing between two not completely right options, I'd rather be seen as a man. It is the least itchy sweater in that metaphor. So yeah, this video was great! Nice to know I'm not alone.
"Don´t let people police you on what you know would feel most comfortable for you" Thank you. Thank you so much for saying that. I didn´t even realize how much I needed it.
I love your channel so much Ash, I don't really fully understand things like being trans or agender and I am learning so much. Its also so wonderful to see so many positive and accepting comments, makes the world feel a little less scary.
for some reason this video made me really happy in a chill, ~positive vibes~ kind of way. there's something really comforting about seeing people who are like you and really *get it*, you know? and the ukulele was also pretty nice
I was so excited to see on add on your content that I just had to watch all 2 minutes of it. Your welcome from this very impatient human being. Love you and Grace's faces.
i feel like videos about hormones should also discuss the negative side effects of hormones such as sterilization too so they don't just glorify taking meds without warning less educated people about what could/will go wrong
Oliviaaa Murphyyy hm, valid point. I tried to stress the whole "really reflect and talk with your doc" point in comments and on screen (and obvs a doc would bring up ALL the side effects) but I think this is important too. I'll keep it in mind next time.
Ash Hardell hey I just wanted to add in HRT doesn't make everybody sterile. That's a common misconception. There are plenty of trans men and women and other people on HRT that have had children.
Oliviaaa Murphyyy maybe generally on hormone videos but there are plenty of people who have been on hormones for long periods of time but have managed to conceive.
yes it true its possible to still be able to rpoduce a baby maybe but the chances are very low and normally you have too go off hormones like for me i ended up being sterile butit depends
Thank you for sharing your experience, Chandler! I didn't know before this video that non-binary people might choose to take testosterone, and I'm glad that now I know.
This is beautiful! Thank you Ash and Chandler for educating people and wrapping your arms around us all and making sure that we know that it is okay to do what makes us happy.
I've been looking for these conversations for a while, this was a very nice thing to get notified of on my phone, lol!!!! Good luck Chandler, and nice interviewing skills, Ash!
Until you said agender I couldn’t tell which gender you’d be. Immediately thought they/them person. (I know this sounds weird it’s the best way i could come up with) You look very androgynous, though❤️❤️❤️ Also I’m an AFAB agender kid and my friends think it’s nuts for me to want to go on T. I didn’t think it existed until now...thank you so mich❤️💚💙
Well this was super relatable. I'm feeling a shade more confident about how I've been feeling recently. Thank you, Chandler! And thanks Ash, for having them on your channel. :)
Amy Everdeen It's such a small percentage that no one in the real world knows what you mean. Check out Louder with Crowder. He tries asking people what their gender pronouns are, and they have no idea what he's talking about.
Kantasi Shore Well that is exactly the problem. No one gets educated on these matters because of the small amount of poeple that are in the lgbtq+ community. Which leads to misunderstandings, misrepresentation, and discrimination. I don't expect it to change any time soon of course. But still at least people like Ash are using media to speak out about these issues.
Amy Everdeen Okay, but if I call someone "sir" because they look male, there's a 98.7% chance they're male. If you want everyone to stop assuming, I then have to ask EVERYTIME if they are male or female, and what pronouns they use. Then, it ends up being what I assumed anyway. Besides the fact, assuming is an instinct, a survival tactic, that used to help us. You can't ask for society to conform to 0.3% of it. That's ridiculous.
Ash, do you think using the pronouns they/them when you are unsure of someone's gender, but they identify either as she/her or he/him, is a rude thing to do? Like before being able to ask... I'm just thinking about maybe girls who are not as feminine and boys not as masculine? I had a friend that identified as a female, her gender at birth, but she was not happy when people pointed to her more masculine features or habits. Sorry, I rambled xD English is not my first language and I am tired, sorry for any weird sentences I might have created. Keep up the conversations, Ash!
Nail Polish hey this is a really nice question to have! I think asking is the best way to go, because then no matter what you know what that persons pronouns are without having to misgender them or making them feel weird about they way you perceived them? Hope that makes sense xx
I always use they/them before I find out how somebody identifies, I find it's easier that asking immediately, because sometimes it is not safe for the person to answer in the scenario (specifically, in public or official spaces)
I feel like this is a situation where there can be a good general suggestion, like asking or using they/them, but there will always be some people who are put off by it. For instance, I'm still in the closet as a trans guy, so since I was little and even now, I'd be extremely embarrassed/offended if someone asked if I were a girl/guy or what my pronouns are. I'm still presenting as female, albeit a somewhat masculine one, but it immediately makes me feel like I'm not feminine enough to be read as what I'm trying to present as. It makes me feel like I've been caught or exposed and am about to be pushed out of the closet. So while I'm sure someone who actually identifies somewhere in the NB may appreciate being asked, anyone else may feel offended that you think they don't appear feminine or masculine enough to come across as the gender they're presenting as. Will always be a judgment call, I suppose. I'd say try to feel them and their friends out first and just use their name instead of pronouns if you can help it, but if you really can't figure it out after a while, just ask when it's appropriate.
I think it's a little bit dangerous to label men who seem a little more feminine as "they" because you are not sure, without doing the same to men who don't seem to be that feminine. How you look/present does not necessarily match up with how you feel, and I feel like picking on people's specifically 'feminine' or 'masculine' qualities just tightens societal gender norms. I would just make it a practice to call *everyone* "they" until you know. I have found myself using it more and more... it comes quite naturally actually, once I made the switch in my language.
AH I love Chandler!!!! So cool to see you two colab together! Also this vid was very helpful- I'm genderfluid and I've been considering going on T but I didn't know how that would work as someone who isn't always a boy so thank you so much wonderful humans!!!
no it likely wouldnt, testosterone isnt a fix for most problems. Theres literally about a 1/100 chance it would help. theres better solutions you can find
Jimi Mased it can really help with dysphoria because of the effects. Obviously it won’t fix all but it’d help. Why wouldn’t it? There’s tons of people it’s helped.
I like your hat. (it's feminine with flowers and bright colors, but masculine because it is a snapback) it fits with the video. also it's just a cool hat
Wow, Chandler, your experience is so similar to mine in so many ways and it makes me so happy to know that I'm not alone. Eventhough I knew that the chances of me being the only one feeling like I do were extremely small I feel such a relief now that I know I'm not the only one
I HAVE A QUESTION! This is not meant to offend anyone or anything, I'm just curious as to when the "more than 2 genders" thing started? Like at what point did people say "Hold on, there's more to the situation here" and start to realise that there is a spectrum? when did this occur? how? Who was the one who, not 'started' so to speak, but realised?
Actually, (people can correct me if I'm wrong) but I believe there is a third gender that has been recognized in some parts of indian culture? I'm not sure about specifics, but no, it did not start on tumblr. There have been many people throughout the years who have felt that they don't identify with society's binary of male and female, but they often lack the label to connect things :D Some things can just exist before they're identified and named!
Rachel depends where, I don't know enough to educate but many cultures recognised a third gender a long time 'before tumblr stereotypes' but it most likely became westernized when people who felt this way we're given a platform where they could express themselves and find others who felt the same way and formed a community I guess🌟
Jules Kat Yeah, it was a spiritual thing though. Those people were seen as "Gods". They were held at a higher standard. So, it was a religious thing. Still no solid scientific evidence a third gender exists.
I feel like I'm finally beginning to understand gender more, and I don't know how to explain it, but I see it more now as a feeling rather than a state of being or just dysphoria. The problem is, I still don't understand what that feeling is. I guess I feel like a girl, but not extremely intensely, or maybe I do but I haven't felt dysphoria. I don't think I reach full enlightenment on this subject until I know, wtf is gender?
gender is based on the sexual organs you are born with,,it doesn't mean you have to be what the world expects of you,,have confidence and you'll find that there are always people willing to accept you and your beliefs,, that being said..i do believe in only binary genders,, sorry,, and it sucks that i have to apologize for how i feel...its ironic in that others feel like they have to be ashamed for feeling different
I find it a bit alarming that they decided to start Testosterone mainly because of how society perceived them. Hormones should be something you do for yourself. I wouldn't have been able to start hormones if I was worried about how others were seeing me. It is something you must do because of body dysphoria and how you personally see yourself.
Like I'm a neurological strange human and I've had plenty of issues with society. Should I take HORMONES TO FIT IN!? How do I keep watching these ridiculous videos...
Emily Henochowicz don't think its about fitting in, but more about pragmatically solving a problem caused by the current lack of understanding in our society
Listen, I got a fake left eye. Its entire purpose is to pragmatically solve a problem caused by the current lack of understanding in our society, a.k.a. to fit in. I don't see shit out of it. It just makes strangers leave me be. Testosterone isn't jewelry, however, they can and will do whatever they want with themselves.
Is there a non-binary equivalent of sir/ma'am. What should I use in a sentense like: excuse me ...... (instead of Sir/ma'am) (I'm still learning English, and would like to know. Also, if there are mistakes in my comment, please let me know.)
This is such an important issue and I know it was hard for Chandler in specific having to take their followers and fan reactions into account. I am so glad most people seem supportive of nb hormone usage; everyone really should do what helps them to feel the most comfortable. Really inspiring collab!
ive been on T for about 2.5 years and im agender too! it started off as wanting to be in a middle ground but i decided im just more comfortable presenting as far away from my assigned gender as possible.
I don't want to be rude or anything but... I think that testosterone and oestrogene shouldn't be use as a "accessory". What I mean is that I see a lot of people who start to want to use it not especially for body dysphoria but just to look more masculine etc. I think there are other ways to do so, if it's just for aesthetic. Just do some research, and you'll see that there are a lot of consequences like being sterile or having a shorter life... so it should really be a big decision to take, if you decide to inject it in your blood, not a cool thing to do. Idk i may sound bitchy but unless it's a real need it shouldn't be allowed, thats why you need to do so many therapy and test
Probably because some people don't do enough research on T. T does not make you androgynous. It will make you smell like a man. It will give you a ton of body hair. It will redistribute your fat to your stomach. It will change your voice. You will probably get a receding hairline, or make you bald. T will also make your lady bits hang out a lot more. As in, it will flap out and look like a mini, mutant dick, and it will be a permanent change. There are serious consequences in taking T. Some are permanent changes. T WILL MAKE YOU A MAN, NOT A SOFT BOI. Yes, there are a small few people who ended up looking androgynous, but that has more to do with genetics. Look at the men in your family, and you can get an idea of how you might end up looking when you take T. Please, please, PLEASE. Research thoroughly and actually take your time in deciding if you want to take T or not. You can't just stop taking T and go right back to normal just because you don't like the changes. That's not how it works.
It's an impulse control disorder, linked to OCD, which cuases said person to pull out (and sometimes eat) Thier hair. a similar condition is once where said person picks at Thier scabs too. They can not help either of these actions
Have you heard of the channel Trich Journal? Rebecca is super wonderful and works to inform other people about trich. She's also got a main channel and an art channel :)
I have had it since I was 8, I don't wear wigs anymore though; At school they would snatch it off of my head and throw it around. It really should be talking about more, it's a big issue that affects a lot of people- I feel that no one takes it seriously, you know? Do you have any tips on how to stop, or at least help stop? I've read every book and watched every video, tried gloves, tape, fidget toys, rope and even getting a vat I could pet; but nothing helps!
I did already watch this video and I clicked through the more recent video BUT! I just recently started working at Starbucks and met a partner who goes by they/them pronouns I was actually super happy that I had watched this video and many of your other videos Ash and Chandler because it definitely helped me to be more aware and much more easily able to quickly say they as their pronoun than I think I would have ever been before. Anyway thanks for all your videos and teaching!
im genderfluid, born in a body that makes estrogen, and i want to take t but im not sure cause i want to look more masculine and not have the extremely feminine voice that i have but i already have low levels[i quess?] of vitamin D so im scared what might happen
Talk to your therapist (and/or gender therapist, if you have one), as well as your primary care doctor. They'll help weigh the pros and cons with you, with a professional insight on your health
Can't help about the testosterone part but you can take vitamin D vitamin supplements & get plenty of sunlight, if that is not enough your doctor can prescribe super strength vitamin D. I do not see it as a huge hurdle as there is an easy fix to boost your vit D levels. I hope you find someone to answer your questions & help you
I'm so glad this popped into my recommended list. You two are amazing. This video was so relaxing and made me honestly feel so much more at peace with myself as another agender person. Thank you so so much.
I was wondering if there was a gender neutral "ma'am" or "sir" like there is "they/them" for "he/she" and if not. There should be one and we should start using it.
Thank you both SO much for this video! I've never heard anyone speak on this :( helped me feel less alienated it was very comforting to know a bit about other's perspectives
I did see a neutrois blog where one amab person got 'castrated' (tbh I don't know the med procedure at all?) so that testosterone would stop being produced.
ash... hey ash... ash... whats your pronouns again? don't want to misgender you as i talk highly about you to my awesome cool school nurse. and also I am non-conforming and was wondering how do i explain to people that I don't mind the she/her/hers pronouns. people look at me tooootally weird because i still stick with she pronouns.
Thank you for doing this Chandler! I also just recently learned how common it is for agender people to go on T (this week), and didn't have an outlet where I felt I could learn more about it. I loved learning more, thank you!
And now look at you both. Chandler with their very in-between appearance, and Ash with their recent top surgery. A lot has changed, and I'm glad that you're both doing what make you happy and being the best you
This was a really lovely collaboration guys! Thanks for talking about your experiences, Chandler. I'm really happy for you that you're taking these steps towards a presentation you can be comfortable in. You talked briefly about how you'd be in the opposite situation had you been assigned differently at birth - it was really striking to hear that
oh my god,,this such a first world problem,,its annoying to me that people complain about this,,do what you think is right but this is, by no means, something that has to be address,,there are REAL problems out there that should be handled,,,this has to be literally the LAST thing that needs to be changed on this corrupt dirt ball we live on
Cesar Alcaraz well it's not like people can handle only one problem at a time. You can handle more serious problems and less serious problems at the same time, that's why there are so many humans to do that
Check yourself before you wreck yourself mate. Could the fact that you're bothered by some strangers not hurting anyone and just expressing themselves on the internet also be considered a first world problem? Have a nice day! ;^)
I get the transgender thing, or gay thing.. Im totaly ok with that. But when someone is telling me that they are a 3rd gender or 5th or whatever, I'm laughing so hard. 21st cenutry.. where the heck are you going to?
I am pansexual and pangender. But yea i really don't care one bit about looking man or woman. i just do what i like. This video is kinda twisted that she is saying i don't have a gender but at the same time you do care because you want testosterone. This video is not correct at all from a scientific point of view. Or a general type of view.
I'm agender and I've been thinking about starting T for a while, too. Thanks for making this video, Ash, and thank you so much for talking about the non-binary experience on T, Chandler!
I have a nonbinary friend who started T just about 2 months ago (love you Sam!) and I'm so happy for them TuT it's great to have people talk about these things. kudos to you!
Loved this. I was curious about this topic when Miles said they were non - binary and going on T. Ash you always make the best topics in your videos. And it's awesome that your able to find people with all walks of like to share their story.
You both speak so well and describe things that I have known in my head but couldnt put on paper. THANK YOU, you are going to help so many folks. GENDER IS OVER 💜
That sweater analogy is the most perfect explanation ever. I'm also agender and I could never figure out a way to explain what I felt to someone who wasn't in the same boat. The sweater analogy is exactly what I needed and I'm so glad that they said it so now I can use it to explain my feelings to people who don't understand. Thank you! 😸🦄
I can already see a difference in your voice Chandler. I am so happy that you decided to follow your heart and not give in to anything else besides what your soul wants and needs. ♡
this felt so unbelievably peaceful to watch
background music is on point
Tina Bea right xD
"aspire to be a lumberjack" my only goal in life
try a work out routine, but cut down on calories if you're gaining weight :) ask at a gym if you really need some advice - it's your body, do with it what you will!
i now have a NEW goal. Ashley, once again, pushing me to be my very best. :-)
when I saw that i just started cracking up
Chandler is a cutie. It's super important to note that starting any kind of hormone is huge decision. One that should be considered carefully. But at the end of the day we all gotta do what makes us happy and keeps us safe. I commend Chan for doing exactly that
Meee, I ID as both nonbinary and transmasculine and have been on T for 3 and a half months! I'm also waitlisted for top surgery too. :)
Ash Hardell I didn't transition but I'm kinda in the boat with Mileschronicles more so. I would feel way more comfortable as a guy only because I have more body dysphoria then Chandler. And I actually like he/him. I guess I'm a Demi boy because yes I feel "feminine" and only feel male ever.
Ash Hardell but I like to identify as non binary more. Because I don't really conform with any gender. I kinda just am me
I have friends who are nonbinary and transmasculine who are taking T; I am also nonbinary. I've never asked what their specific goals are with it though. I know two of us definitely want to have top surgery (me in the next 5 years, them sooner). I'm still not sure if I'll take T since right now the con list is higher than pros, but I love watching videos like this where people talk about their reasons for or not taking hormones.
Ash Hardell Why do you insist on living in echo chamber? I used to believe in these things. Made a lot of sense to me. Luckily, I decided to see what others thought. Still in the middle on some things, but at least I listen. How much research have you done in the middle? On the opposite side? Or are you just looking at things that agree with you?
To be really really honest, as a straight-identifying woman, I never understood or got all the LGBTQ+, genderspectrum (or how to say this) or anything involved, because it doesn't speak to me. Which is exactly why I watch video's like this, to still educate myself that not all people feel like I do. Because my social circle has no people of the LGBTQ community, I think it's very easy to forget that other people don't think the same way do.
Thank you for trying to educate yourself! Not a lot of people choose to do so, so it’s refreshing and an amazing thing to see.
Yeah, that's really cool you want to learn things that may not be very useful for you right now but can help you understand some social issues and not be a target of hateful alt-right bs in the future. We really need more aware citizens like you to be safe, so thank you for being the change
Loved the conversation! Thank you for having me on your channel :)
You go Chandler! so well spoken and glad you got to start T so you can get to where you want to be. Hopefully someday people will start off with your pronouns off the bat! best wishes~
ChandlerNWilson CHANDLER IVE BEEN WATCHING YOU FOR LIKE 10 MONTHS AND LIKE OMF ASH IVE BEEN WATCHING FOR LIKE TWO YEARS AND YOURE HERE WHATTTTTT
I found you when I found out I was demiromantic
ChandlerNWilson You are a lovely person from what I've seen of you here. Thank you so much for sharing.
ChandlerNWilson Thank you for this video
I often get the feeling that since masculine is read as neutral and female as other, a lot of enbys present in a very androgynous/ masculine way. Which is of course understandable, esp. in the presence of misgendering and heteronormative society. But I just want everyone to know, that nonbinary (in my case agenderflux) afab femmes exist too!
Lovely video you two
Hey! Fellow femme-presenting afab nonbinary person here! :D Gender expression doesn't have to "match up" with gender identity in ways people expect and you and I are no less nonbinary for the way we choose to look ^u^b
femme-presenting afab nonbinary person here hearing the call of duty! x2
afab femmes are awesome..I myself identify as non binary jus started t today..but when I seen the first afab femme in my life..I immediately thought NB IS DOOOPE! all forms
The first that I experienced of a non binary taking T was MilesChronicles. Thanks for making videos like these to educate people like me :)
YAS MILES.
NeonPenguinn YESSSSS MILES IS AMAZING I LOVE HIM SO MUCH
Ash Hardell PLEASE DO ANOTHER VIDEO WITH MILES
NeonPenguinnn DADDY MILES
But Miles is a boy though..
I only recently accepted that I'm not cis and hearing two educated, admirable people talking about this kinda stuff is really, really helpful :) As always, you're a wonder, Ash
quinintheclouds what pro-nouns do you use?
They/them for me.. :)
Olivia Grant It depends on the day. Most days they/them works best, but I stick with she/her for now even though it can be painful to hear. The label I find fits best is probably genderflux, so depending on the day I could range from completely agender to almost completely female
Kyanon Shaman It's different for everyone I think, but for me, I started researching gender because I realized I have dysphoria. Plus, my sister accidentally used they/them pronouns for me and I just felt this surge of euphoria, while she/her had often felt like an ill-fitting dress I had to deal with. The more I found out, the more I realized I'm not cis, and it scared me so I resisted it for a long time, but now I'm getting to a place of understanding :)
Congratulations and good luck on your journey!!!!
DOGGYDOGG theyre literally in their mid twenties therefore legal adults. your definition of a child is a reach and being a child doesnt mean you aren't educated lmao
This is really great information. I didn't know that NB people could take testosterone and I'm really happy that it's a thing. I don't know if as a NB/gender fluid individual I'd want to start T but I really like that there is an option. I'm really happy for you Chandler! I hope everything goes well for you.
:)
i hope this does not come off as insensitive since you're both very sweet but something i really don't understand is how chandler expects to look NB to the public. depending on who is looking- they will assume they are either male or female. if chandler takes T, people will then assume they are a 'he'. if chandler stays how they are people will continue to assume they are a young boy/girl. so aren't they kind of stuck always looking either or? the 'misgendering' is not going to stop. since society is not used to NB people yet- just "he" or "she".
edit: oh as i was watching they just answered my question hahaha.
i guess i just don't understand the difference between being NB and wanting to look/feel male and just being a trans man.
this is so interesting to me
Shoe0nHead Ah, my friend loves your channel. ^^
Mama June
It's all nonsense
ShoeOnHead, Here's the gist of the theory:
Sex is biological, whereas gender is a social construct, so if you don't fit into the socially constructed gender roles of male and female, then you should alter your physical body through drugs, radical hormone therapy, and/or plastic surgery so that you better conform to social norms and expectations.
e.g. one gender norm is that women are shorter than men, so *for over 50 years perfectly healthy young girls who were "too tall" have been prescribed dangerous hormone therapy to stop/stunt their growth,* so that their height is more "womanly".
another gender norm is that women don't like sports or guns, or climbing trees, etc. so if you're a woman who likes these things, you should chop your tits off, and undergo dangerous hormone therapy that may lead to sterility to better conform to artificial, socially imposed, gender norms.
I mean hell, why should people learn to love and accept themselves, when we can medicalize gender nonconformity, and encourage people to undergo expensive, dangerous, life-altering hormone therapy and plastic surgery to change their bodies so they better conform to arbitrary social norms?
plus, the pharmaceutical/surgical industries that financially support transgenderist ideology are sure to make a killing, so that might be good for the economy. and again, why love/accept yourself as you are when you can surgically/hormonally alter your body to better conform to social standards?
everything chandler said was so prefect. They put it so beautifully and truly expressed themselves in a simple and easy to understand way. soft spoken and kind, what a lovely person!
I'm currently struggling with this... Thank you. I know I'm not alone but sometimes you need that reassurance so thank you.
Being a genderfluid makes me think the same about T. Balancing both genders make me feel agender and then I can just be whatever gender I want when I want just by changing clothes. It probably do not make sense for many people, but for me being a genderfluid, getting a agender body makes everything easyer to "turn into" (fisically).
T would really help me.
I'm in the same boat. I'm genderfluid and want to be able to be read as different genders. T would help me be more androgynous to enable me to do that instead of nearly always being read as female. I just had a consultation about testosterone earlier this week and now I'm doing lots of research. I haven't made a decision yet because I know you can't choose or control all the changes and some are not reversible. I want to keep doing research and soul-searching to make a fully informed decision.
I think I am genderfluid. Still not very sure. But I get this thing. I wish I could look more masculine and be assumed more masculine. Reading your comment, I felt like you meant a blank slate/board and then you can.. like start projecting yourself depending on how you feel.
That's what I might want. Idk yet. But glad to know I was not the only person feeling like this.
Sorry if I said anything wrong..
Take care. :)
"Don't let people police you on what you know and feel most comfortable for you" - by Chandler. Thank you so much for this truth!
This is seriously really comforting to hear. I actually recognized Chandler from way back in their coming out video. I'm really unsure about whether or not i want to go on T, but this video is really comforting in my thought process. Chandler pretty much has every kind of gender-related thought I do lol
I relate sooo heavily to the itchy sweater analogy. Currently on the fence myself but it's been nice to see my exact feelings spoken so accurately by someone else
YES! MY COMMENTS HAVE BEEN SEEN! THE COLLAB WITH CHANDLER HAS FINALLY COMEEEE! THANK YOU ASH!!❤️🔥❤️🔥
I used to be homophobic when I was younger, I thought people could just choose one gender or sex to be attracted to. I know now, that that is just false. I am concerned because I dont understand nonbinary genders and I am afraid of making the same mistake again, hurting others because I dont understand. While I disagree with some of the things that you say, I enjoy your videos and I am hoping that one day I will understand. How is being nonbinary different from being a tomboy? Is there body dysphoria? I think people can live their lives however they want and I don't want to offend or hurt anyone. I do however, want to understand why people want to live their lives in ways that are different than what I am accustomed to, especially when it seems so hard to do.
Well here's the thing, people who identify in the non-binary spectrum are not male or female (don't get I confused with drag or tomboy, those are different) are not trying to get attention, they just are this way, the transgender brain works exactly but not fully like the non-binary brains, their brains are telling them one thing and their body is telling them another and the reason is different from tomboy is because being a tomboy is a female that is okay identifying as female but shows a masculine personality and fashion but non-binary is neither male or female, it could be both, I could be neither, it could be all in different ways, the list goes on and etc., scientists believe in these gender identities but they only have theories about it but still don't have a solid fact of why they have these identities
I'm non-binary and I'm AMAB (assigned male at birth) and I don't really fit towards male or female, I just always feel that way and people confuse me for being gay because I don't act masculine or feminine (a mixture of both and that means androgynous) but I promise I'm NOT trying to get attention (the most common non-binary stereotype) I just am that way and I'm actually afraid to get attention because I'm born with anxiety, I'm an introvert, and I have HSP. And also it's fine if you don't agree with everyone Ash says because everyone has opinions and that's also fine but America is not open towards these gender identities so not a lot of people know that ( that's also another stereotype, that it "originated from Tumblr") and Lastly, Yes non-binary can have gender dysphoria because of their gender assigned at birth but when it comes to gender expression, they usually don't transition to a different binary gender and if you are open minded that's fine and valid but just because you are open minded towards these people, that DOESN'T mean that you have to learn these identities, it's fine if you are but it's your decision to learn more or not
And also it's fine if you misgender someone and use the incorrect pronouns because they won't get offended just say sorry and move along, it's like bumping into something, just say sorry and move along and you can also say they/them as a pronoun because it's both a plural noun and a singular noun, you use it in a daily basis without realizing it sometimes but anyways that just my opinion towards your comment
Hancell Gomez Thanks for taking the time to reply to my comment. I still have a lot of questions but I won't bore you with them here. I am curious to hear stories about identities that are like your own being male assigned at birth to non binary. There are a lot of female to non binary people on youtube but do you know of any male to non binary youtubers? I am really interested in trying my best to understand gender and what it means to people. Not to prove or justify anything, but just to make myself and the world a little bit better.
Riley J Dennis is a non-binary person who was assigned male at birth. While she is more female-aligned, she has spoken in the past about not completely identifying with womanhood.
Danielle Linder YOU HAD CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT BUT LIKE IRL
Hello Danielle Linder thank you for trying to learn Ash accually has a video about this and I would love to answer any questions here.
Chandler is adorable :'D
NOTIF SQUAD! I've been waiting for this collab for so long.
I enjoyed this video so much, something about the way chandler explains is so mesmerizing
ohmygod youve just introduced me to the fact that non-binary people can take t! im non-binary and i often feel like i look a bit too feminine to be comfortable in my body but i always thought that, because im not trans, that wouldn't be ok.
Hey Ash please can you do a video discussing the side effects of taking testosterone and oestrogen? Bc I think it's great that hormone treatment is available for non binary/trans/etc people, and I myself am AFAB and plan to fully transition over the next few years including taking testosterone, but there are some consequences people have to consider! Unfortunately it's not all sunshine and rainbows, not all of the effects of hormones are reversible even if you decide to stop taking them, they make you sterile, there are ongoing studies that suggest a link between testosterone and ovarian cancer (although I would really need to look into that further to back up that statement) and also it increases your risk of forming blood clots; this could lead to an increased risk of having a heart attack or stroke in later life. If you want to take hormones, go for it, but ONLY if you're willing to face the consequences and are certain that it's worth it and will improve your quality of life overall! Please help spread the message by telling both sides of the story, I loved hearing about Chandlers personal experience with T, and I think you're both lil gems 😁
I get the sentiment behind wanting Ash to talk about the downsides and not just the upsides, but you can only be prescribed testosterone or estrogen by a doctor...and usually only after weeks to months of discussion to make sure it's the right choice for you. That conversation - what you want to achieve by being on hormones and what the risks are - is one that is and needs to be had with your doctor, particularly because some of the details change based on your particular medical history.
That's a really good point actually! They didn't discuss the process of getting access to testosterone either, which maybe be a helpful point in the right direction for people who are looking to go on T.
chandler is very articulate and insightful. i've never really considered this before but it's so interesting and informative. thank you so much for sharing
IVE BEEN WAITING SO LONG FOR THIS COLLAB! I LOVE YOU BOTH ❤️❤️❤️
Ohhh myyy goooooood!!! I got distracted at so many moments during this video because I feel I'm a lot like Chandler, even physically. I loved the video, thank you!! :)
I'm so glad that this collab happened. Chandler is super duper awesome and so are you!
another great collab would be with the lord... MILEEEEEES
My two absolutely favourite UA-camrs. You're both soooo good at explaining things, so pleasant and charming, so articulate. Love it.
I'm genderqueer and I wanna be on T (and stay on it... and transition socially to male) for pretty much the same reasons as Chandler. I also have a lot of dysphoria because of my voice and other things, but body dysphoria isn't the main reason. I feel very similar in that the gender I was assigned at birth doesn't fit me at all, and while "male" doesn't fit me perfectly either, it's better. The country I live in is very binary with no neutral pronouns in the language, and when choosing between two not completely right options, I'd rather be seen as a man. It is the least itchy sweater in that metaphor. So yeah, this video was great! Nice to know I'm not alone.
"Don´t let people police you on what you know would feel most comfortable for you"
Thank you. Thank you so much for saying that. I didn´t even realize how much I needed it.
Chandler and Xander are SO cute, I loved them proposal video
I love your channel so much Ash, I don't really fully understand things like being trans or agender and I am learning so much. Its also so wonderful to see so many positive and accepting comments, makes the world feel a little less scary.
I'm crying. I need this right now. I am looking to start T in a few months.
for some reason this video made me really happy in a chill, ~positive vibes~ kind of way. there's something really comforting about seeing people who are like you and really *get it*, you know? and the ukulele was also pretty nice
1:17
Yep. That sounds about right.
I was so excited to see on add on your content that I just had to watch all 2 minutes of it. Your welcome from this very impatient human being. Love you and Grace's faces.
i feel like videos about hormones should also discuss the negative side effects of hormones such as sterilization too so they don't just glorify taking meds without warning less educated people about what could/will go wrong
Oliviaaa Murphyyy hm, valid point. I tried to stress the whole "really reflect and talk with your doc" point in comments and on screen (and obvs a doc would bring up ALL the side effects) but I think this is important too. I'll keep it in mind next time.
Ash Hardell hey I just wanted to add in HRT doesn't make everybody sterile. That's a common misconception. There are plenty of trans men and women and other people on HRT that have had children.
Oliviaaa Murphyyy maybe generally on hormone videos but there are plenty of people who have been on hormones for long periods of time but have managed to conceive.
yes it true its possible to still be able to rpoduce a baby maybe but the chances are very low and normally you have too go off hormones like for me i ended up being sterile butit depends
no such thing. i think. hormones are fully safe XD
This was absolutely beautiful
Thank you for sharing your experience, Chandler! I didn't know before this video that non-binary people might choose to take testosterone, and I'm glad that now I know.
Ash and Chandler- I watch this video over and over because it really affirms me and makes me feel really validated. Thank you.
Hey. NB transfem here. I'm on E, and am planning on being on E forever. So yeah, it also goes the other way.
K bye! *pop*
This is beautiful! Thank you Ash and Chandler for educating people and wrapping your arms around us all and making sure that we know that it is okay to do what makes us happy.
Nice hat 👍🏼
The vid is also really awesome
I've been looking for these conversations for a while, this was a very nice thing to get notified of on my phone, lol!!!! Good luck Chandler, and nice interviewing skills, Ash!
Until you said agender I couldn’t tell which gender you’d be. Immediately thought they/them person. (I know this sounds weird it’s the best way i could come up with) You look very androgynous, though❤️❤️❤️
Also I’m an AFAB agender kid and my friends think it’s nuts for me to want to go on T. I didn’t think it existed until now...thank you so mich❤️💚💙
Well this was super relatable. I'm feeling a shade more confident about how I've been feeling recently. Thank you, Chandler! And thanks Ash, for having them on your channel. :)
If people could stop assuming genders we wouldn't have the whole 'being assumed the wrong gender' problem.
Kantasi Shore So?
Amy Everdeen It's such a small percentage that no one in the real world knows what you mean. Check out Louder with Crowder. He tries asking people what their gender pronouns are, and they have no idea what he's talking about.
Kantasi Shore Well that is exactly the problem. No one gets educated on these matters because of the small amount of poeple that are in the lgbtq+ community. Which leads to misunderstandings, misrepresentation, and discrimination. I don't expect it to change any time soon of course. But still at least people like Ash are using media to speak out about these issues.
Amy Everdeen Okay, but if I call someone "sir" because they look male, there's a 98.7% chance they're male. If you want everyone to stop assuming, I then have to ask EVERYTIME if they are male or female, and what pronouns they use. Then, it ends up being what I assumed anyway. Besides the fact, assuming is an instinct, a survival tactic, that used to help us. You can't ask for society to conform to 0.3% of it. That's ridiculous.
Okay, I see there is no point in conversing with you. Understandable. Have a good day.
Thank you so much for creating these conversation, Ash. I always learn so much about identities that are not my own.
Ash, do you think using the pronouns they/them when you are unsure of someone's gender, but they identify either as she/her or he/him, is a rude thing to do? Like before being able to ask... I'm just thinking about maybe girls who are not as feminine and boys not as masculine? I had a friend that identified as a female, her gender at birth, but she was not happy when people pointed to her more masculine features or habits. Sorry, I rambled xD English is not my first language and I am tired, sorry for any weird sentences I might have created. Keep up the conversations, Ash!
Nail Polish hey this is a really nice question to have! I think asking is the best way to go, because then no matter what you know what that persons pronouns are without having to misgender them or making them feel weird about they way you perceived them? Hope that makes sense xx
I always use they/them before I find out how somebody identifies, I find it's easier that asking immediately, because sometimes it is not safe for the person to answer in the scenario (specifically, in public or official spaces)
Gwendolyn Cox yes that makes total sense too ✨
I feel like this is a situation where there can be a good general suggestion, like asking or using they/them, but there will always be some people who are put off by it. For instance, I'm still in the closet as a trans guy, so since I was little and even now, I'd be extremely embarrassed/offended if someone asked if I were a girl/guy or what my pronouns are. I'm still presenting as female, albeit a somewhat masculine one, but it immediately makes me feel like I'm not feminine enough to be read as what I'm trying to present as. It makes me feel like I've been caught or exposed and am about to be pushed out of the closet. So while I'm sure someone who actually identifies somewhere in the NB may appreciate being asked, anyone else may feel offended that you think they don't appear feminine or masculine enough to come across as the gender they're presenting as. Will always be a judgment call, I suppose. I'd say try to feel them and their friends out first and just use their name instead of pronouns if you can help it, but if you really can't figure it out after a while, just ask when it's appropriate.
I think it's a little bit dangerous to label men who seem a little more feminine as "they" because you are not sure, without doing the same to men who don't seem to be that feminine. How you look/present does not necessarily match up with how you feel, and I feel like picking on people's specifically 'feminine' or 'masculine' qualities just tightens societal gender norms.
I would just make it a practice to call *everyone* "they" until you know. I have found myself using it more and more... it comes quite naturally actually, once I made the switch in my language.
AH I love Chandler!!!! So cool to see you two colab together! Also this vid was very helpful- I'm genderfluid and I've been considering going on T but I didn't know how that would work as someone who isn't always a boy so thank you so much wonderful humans!!!
Man I wish nb people in my country could get on T, it'd solve like 40% of my mental health issues
no it likely wouldnt, testosterone isnt a fix for most problems. Theres literally about a 1/100 chance it would help. theres better solutions you can find
Jimi Mased it can really help with dysphoria because of the effects. Obviously it won’t fix all but it’d help. Why wouldn’t it? There’s tons of people it’s helped.
I feel this so hard. Thanks❤
I like your hat. (it's feminine with flowers and bright colors, but masculine because it is a snapback) it fits with the video. also it's just a cool hat
Wow, Chandler, your experience is so similar to mine in so many ways and it makes me so happy to know that I'm not alone. Eventhough I knew that the chances of me being the only one feeling like I do were extremely small I feel such a relief now that I know I'm not the only one
I HAVE A QUESTION! This is not meant to offend anyone or anything, I'm just curious as to when the "more than 2 genders" thing started? Like at what point did people say "Hold on, there's more to the situation here" and start to realise that there is a spectrum? when did this occur? how? Who was the one who, not 'started' so to speak, but realised?
Tumblr.
Pretty much just Tumblr.
Actually, (people can correct me if I'm wrong) but I believe there is a third gender that has been recognized in some parts of indian culture? I'm not sure about specifics, but no, it did not start on tumblr. There have been many people throughout the years who have felt that they don't identify with society's binary of male and female, but they often lack the label to connect things :D Some things can just exist before they're identified and named!
Rachel depends where, I don't know enough to educate but many cultures recognised a third gender a long time 'before tumblr stereotypes' but it most likely became westernized when people who felt this way we're given a platform where they could express themselves and find others who felt the same way and formed a community I guess🌟
Jules Kat Yeah, it was a spiritual thing though. Those people were seen as "Gods". They were held at a higher standard. So, it was a religious thing. Still no solid scientific evidence a third gender exists.
omg. what Chandler says is exactly 100% how I feel, thank you so much for putting it into words!!!
Anything for you Ash. I will click everything until your revenue becomes normal again.
You don't even know how much confidence this video gave me :D. Thanks, from a very closeted agender// gonna go follow Chandler for sure
I feel like I'm finally beginning to understand gender more, and I don't know how to explain it, but I see it more now as a feeling rather than a state of being or just dysphoria. The problem is, I still don't understand what that feeling is. I guess I feel like a girl, but not extremely intensely, or maybe I do but I haven't felt dysphoria. I don't think I reach full enlightenment on this subject until I know, wtf is gender?
gender is based on the sexual organs you are born with,,it doesn't mean you have to be what the world expects of you,,have confidence and you'll find that there are always people willing to accept you and your beliefs,, that being said..i do believe in only binary genders,, sorry,, and it sucks that i have to apologize for how i feel...its ironic in that others feel like they have to be ashamed for feeling different
Gender is fake lol
Cesar ALcaraz being nonbinary isnt a sign of shame in the binary gender you're assigned, its a sense of being outside of that binary to your core.
Can I just say how amazing your channel is! It's so informative and refreshing to just learn from you learning :)
I find it a bit alarming that they decided to start Testosterone mainly because of how society perceived them. Hormones should be something you do for yourself. I wouldn't have been able to start hormones if I was worried about how others were seeing me. It is something you must do because of body dysphoria and how you personally see yourself.
twinklypeach some people have social dysphoria which is based on how you’re perceived !
Like I'm a neurological strange human and I've had plenty of issues with society. Should I take HORMONES TO FIT IN!? How do I keep watching these ridiculous videos...
Emily Henochowicz don't think its about fitting in, but more about pragmatically solving a problem caused by the current lack of understanding in our society
Listen, I got a fake left eye. Its entire purpose is to pragmatically solve a problem caused by the current lack of understanding in our society, a.k.a. to fit in. I don't see shit out of it. It just makes strangers leave me be. Testosterone isn't jewelry, however, they can and will do whatever they want with themselves.
I loved this video, great info, soothing music, lovely graphics and two great people! thanks Ash for making such informative videos!
Is there a non-binary equivalent of sir/ma'am.
What should I use in a sentense like: excuse me ...... (instead of Sir/ma'am)
(I'm still learning English, and would like to know. Also, if there are mistakes in my comment, please let me know.)
Eva IDK here's some tumblr blog. Top result in Google. Probably not grammatically correct though.
genderqueeries.tumblr.com/titles
Thank you so much
Eva IDK Sure
Mx. has been used for awhile, and is what I see most commonly as a alternative to Mr/Ms/Sir/Ma'am/ect.
Zoe Godiva, thank you for your response.
Do you know how mx. is pronounced?
This is such an important issue and I know it was hard for Chandler in specific having to take their followers and fan reactions into account. I am so glad most people seem supportive of nb hormone usage; everyone really should do what helps them to feel the most comfortable. Really inspiring collab!
ugh I'm non-binary and I really want to start T but I'm not out and I'm too young ;-;
large baguette Same here... I always feel sort of jealous when I see people transition since I can't yet.
large baguette,,o...k
large baguette me too!
Same here fren ;-;
It feels good to know that I’m not alone in this.
ive been on T for about 2.5 years and im agender too! it started off as wanting to be in a middle ground but i decided im just more comfortable presenting as far away from my assigned gender as possible.
MOOG
I don't want to be rude or anything but...
I think that testosterone and oestrogene shouldn't be use as a "accessory". What I mean is that I see a lot of people who start to want to use it not especially for body dysphoria but just to look more masculine etc. I think there are other ways to do so, if it's just for aesthetic. Just do some research, and you'll see that there are a lot of consequences like being sterile or having a shorter life... so it should really be a big decision to take, if you decide to inject it in your blood, not a cool thing to do. Idk i may sound bitchy but unless it's a real need it shouldn't be allowed, thats why you need to do so many therapy and test
Probably because some people don't do enough research on T. T does not make you androgynous.
It will make you smell like a man. It will give you a ton of body hair. It will redistribute your fat to your stomach. It will change your voice. You will probably get a receding hairline, or make you bald. T will also make your lady bits hang out a lot more. As in, it will flap out and look like a mini, mutant dick, and it will be a permanent change. There are serious consequences in taking T. Some are permanent changes. T WILL MAKE YOU A MAN, NOT A SOFT BOI. Yes, there are a small few people who ended up looking androgynous, but that has more to do with genetics. Look at the men in your family, and you can get an idea of how you might end up looking when you take T.
Please, please, PLEASE. Research thoroughly and actually take your time in deciding if you want to take T or not. You can't just stop taking T and go right back to normal just because you don't like the changes. That's not how it works.
Omg they’re amazing. :) and so are you Ash.
I have Trichotillomania. You should make a video on that and how it affects 1/50 people. Please?
It's an impulse control disorder, linked to OCD, which cuases said person to pull out (and sometimes eat) Thier hair. a similar condition is once where said person picks at Thier scabs too. They can not help either of these actions
Have you heard of the channel Trich Journal? Rebecca is super wonderful and works to inform other people about trich. She's also got a main channel and an art channel :)
Rachel i have trich too. i wear wigs. i've had it since i was 11. its such a common disorder but rarely talked about.
I have had it since I was 8, I don't wear wigs anymore though; At school they would snatch it off of my head and throw it around. It really should be talking about more, it's a big issue that affects a lot of people- I feel that no one takes it seriously, you know? Do you have any tips on how to stop, or at least help stop? I've read every book and watched every video, tried gloves, tape, fidget toys, rope and even getting a vat I could pet; but nothing helps!
I did already watch this video and I clicked through the more recent video BUT! I just recently started working at Starbucks and met a partner who goes by they/them pronouns I was actually super happy that I had watched this video and many of your other videos Ash and Chandler because it definitely helped me to be more aware and much more easily able to quickly say they as their pronoun than I think I would have ever been before. Anyway thanks for all your videos and teaching!
im genderfluid, born in a body that makes estrogen, and i want to take t but im not sure cause i want to look more masculine and not have the extremely feminine voice that i have but i already have low levels[i quess?] of vitamin D so im scared what might happen
Cal M a good doctor would for sure find a good balance for you :^D
thanks
Talk to your therapist (and/or gender therapist, if you have one), as well as your primary care doctor. They'll help weigh the pros and cons with you, with a professional insight on your health
Can't help about the testosterone part but you can take vitamin D vitamin supplements & get plenty of sunlight, if that is not enough your doctor can prescribe super strength vitamin D. I do not see it as a huge hurdle as there is an easy fix to boost your vit D levels. I hope you find someone to answer your questions & help you
If it risks your health, please don’t do it. Your health is irreplaceable and necessary.
I'm so glad this popped into my recommended list. You two are amazing. This video was so relaxing and made me honestly feel so much more at peace with myself as another agender person. Thank you so so much.
I was wondering if there was a gender neutral "ma'am" or "sir" like there is "they/them" for "he/she" and if not. There should be one and we should start using it.
I know I'm late but there's Mx. It's pronounced Mix or Mux.
I almost cried watching you explain your goals, Chandlers. You put every thoughts I have about myself into words. Literally.
omg ive never been this early, sorry I cant think of something funny
no one caressss
Demons and Doodles little bit rude aren't you
Demons and Doodles you seem to
Lol sorry those types of comments really annoy me
k Gardiner,,maybe but the guy didnt say anything,,he/she/it might as well not have said anything
Thank you both SO much for this video!
I've never heard anyone speak on this :( helped me feel less alienated
it was very comforting to know a bit about other's perspectives
Wait why have I never heard of a nonbinary amab person taking testosterone?
Kaat Brackeniers amab means, "a male at birth", so they don't need to take T, it's what their body produces naturally.
Idk maybe amab people might take estrogen
I did see a neutrois blog where one amab person got 'castrated' (tbh I don't know the med procedure at all?) so that testosterone would stop being produced.
I love both of you so much! The two of you are very educated, smart, and lovely people.
ash... hey ash... ash... whats your pronouns again? don't want to misgender you as i talk highly about you to my awesome cool school nurse. and also I am non-conforming and was wondering how do i explain to people that I don't mind the she/her/hers pronouns. people look at me tooootally weird because i still stick with she pronouns.
Dawn Washington Pretty sure her pronouns are she/her or they/them
she/her and they/them, if I'm not mistaken
thank you guys!!!!
Thank you for doing this Chandler! I also just recently learned how common it is for agender people to go on T (this week), and didn't have an outlet where I felt I could learn more about it. I loved learning more, thank you!
Imo it's a really bad idea to take hormones unless you have dysphoria. It's a permanent change to your body and if you regret it you can't go back.
But they do experience dysphoria
IVE BEEN WAITING TO SEE THEM MAKE A VIDEO TOGETHER I LOVE IT
Ahh you started T on my birthday
This was filmed on my one year anniversary with my SO
And now look at you both. Chandler with their very in-between appearance, and Ash with their recent top surgery. A lot has changed, and I'm glad that you're both doing what make you happy and being the best you
So you're risking your health for the sake of what other people think? What happened to body acceptance?
This was a really lovely collaboration guys! Thanks for talking about your experiences, Chandler. I'm really happy for you that you're taking these steps towards a presentation you can be comfortable in.
You talked briefly about how you'd be in the opposite situation had you been assigned differently at birth - it was really striking to hear that
oh my god,,this such a first world problem,,its annoying to me that people complain about this,,do what you think is right but this is, by no means, something that has to be address,,there are REAL problems out there that should be handled,,,this has to be literally the LAST thing that needs to be changed on this corrupt dirt ball we live on
Cesar Alcaraz well it's not like people can handle only one problem at a time. You can handle more serious problems and less serious problems at the same time, that's why there are so many humans to do that
Check yourself before you wreck yourself mate. Could the fact that you're bothered by some strangers not hurting anyone and just expressing themselves on the internet also be considered a first world problem?
Have a nice day! ;^)
Thanks, as always for talking about all of the things! And your wonderful guests.
But really that snapback is amazing! I want one just like it.
I get the transgender thing, or gay thing.. Im totaly ok with that. But when someone is telling me that they are a 3rd gender or 5th or whatever, I'm laughing so hard. 21st cenutry.. where the heck are you going to?
I am pansexual and pangender. But yea i really don't care one bit about looking man or woman. i just do what i like. This video is kinda twisted that she is saying i don't have a gender but at the same time you do care because you want testosterone. This video is not correct at all from a scientific point of view. Or a general type of view.
I'm agender and I've been thinking about starting T for a while, too. Thanks for making this video, Ash, and thank you so much for talking about the non-binary experience on T, Chandler!
I have a nonbinary friend who started T just about 2 months ago (love you Sam!) and I'm so happy for them TuT
it's great to have people talk about these things. kudos to you!
Loved this. I was curious about this topic when Miles said they were non - binary and going on T. Ash you always make the best topics in your videos. And it's awesome that your able to find people with all walks of like to share their story.
This never crossed my mind it’s a new perspective and super happy to have heard this today
I love you and Chandler both. Such sweet, genuine people.
You both speak so well and describe things that I have known in my head but couldnt put on paper. THANK YOU, you are going to help so many folks.
GENDER IS OVER 💜
That sweater analogy is the most perfect explanation ever. I'm also agender and I could never figure out a way to explain what I felt to someone who wasn't in the same boat. The sweater analogy is exactly what I needed and I'm so glad that they said it so now I can use it to explain my feelings to people who don't understand. Thank you! 😸🦄
Chandler: wants to have more both to feel neither
Me: wants more neither to feel both
Great video, so calm and informative and positive. ❤️
Ash is so kind and insightful when interviewing someone, I just love the approach, it isn't agressive or indifferent, it is just empathic and loving
I can already see a difference in your voice Chandler. I am so happy that you decided to follow your heart and not give in to anything else besides what your soul wants and needs. ♡
I feel the same things!! It's really nice to hear someone who is going through something similar and put everything in words :)