Empty Energyless Sadness - Part 1 - January 29th, 2015

Having a bad day, i remember these, they were shit and i had a long way to go before I got out of that kind of rut. But this really was the worsttime of my life
Obligatory Description (written in 2016):
Over the years I've taken so many videos of myself, maybe too many, and having them all located on one hard drive that could fail any moment scares the hell out of me, so the point of this channel is really to upload these videos to store them rather than showcase them; anyone who's interested can watch them, although I don't know why anyone would really be interested in them unless you like seeing how a person changes over the years. Although there's always the possibility that I actually manage to do something with my life and in that case they could maybe be valuable... and no, this isn't part of some self obsessive ego trip meant to try and garner views from the people of youtube; I've been recording myself for years, more so to capture myself in that time and because I had a very boring childhood, and so the collection of these videos are more so a staple to myself rather than a plea for attention. Also my views of the world have changed since some of these videos were taken and I leave alot unedited because 1) it takes alooott of time and 2) for the sake of just have the entire thing in a place I can view it.
This brings point # 2 where you may ask why I don't keep these private or unlisted; the reasons most are public is because 1) .I don't want to risk the possibility of losing the password and thus losing access to the videos, and so I can view them at anytime anywhere and 2) While I wish to preserve them for the sake of myself, I do like to make them public in case anyone is at all interested in the change and dynamics of a person as they age and grow. I plan to make these kinds of videos until I die, or get very old, and so this could potentially go to be something significant.. for in these video's I kind of view myself in a way that is detached from who I am outside of them... as in these I'm a certain character, a version of myself but not actually me, so I try to view them objectively.
I may be over explaining at this point, but with these videos I mean to assert nothing which could or should illicit a negative response, you can disagree with what I say or what I do all you wish (I've changed quite a bit since most of these) but I'm merely defending the sharing of them publicly.