I really just want to be free from thinking so much about clothing altogether. Spending too much time watching clothing-related content on youtube including "finding your personal style" and clothing trend videos, counting how many wears per item, putting together outfits for the future, creating Pinterest boards, indexing clothing on an app, decluttering clothing, creating "capsules", selling clothing, shopping for clothing... YES I'm guilty of most of these with the exception of the app and counting how many times I wear something. I still also participate in many of them despite being very aware of the fact that I no longer wish to, but I hope this is the year that I finally can kick the habit of spending so much mental energy and time on clothing.
Interesting insights. I totally agree, sometimes it feels like a chore -- it's tedious, it sucks, but you know you gotta do it. And I personally think I should be grateful for even having all that mental energy to care so much. Although I am hoping I will be able to *simplify* things once again like when I was a hardcore minimalist in terms of style back in the day even without labeling myself as one at the time. But who knows, maybe the passion turns into a profitable project in the future, and it wouldn't be just about selling preloved clothes.
Agreed! This is where I can reveal that while I said I was going to track what I actually wear this year (home-wear included) to get the true data, I've actually found that impossible to stick to and did it for maybe 3 weeks, before deciding I actually had the "data" I needed (or at least, enough to report back with what I learned at some point) to formulate the "ideal numbers" for use value in my wardrobe. I do feel like the only reason I continue to spend some energy on this is because I still have that sense of being over my point of "enough" for clothing, and wanting to get back down to there. That's what's taking the effort of deliberation, reassuring myself that I will still have tons of options with less, reselling, and achieving trend-immunity. When this "work" is done I hope to "just wear clothes" and feel good about it😆
I think the gist is that if you are not able to be honest with yourself, no "tool" is going to save you. If you are determined to buy something to fill a void and don't have discipline or discernment to overcome that, you'll use any "tool" in your belt to justify the purchase.
Love this! In the process of making all of the tools I picked up, defunct (both my own and those I saw from influencers!) - so that at least then I'll be stuck between using my own discipline/discernment, and trying to use an empty tool-belt
After enormous amount of styling advice, years of researching my body architecture, my color etc etc. , I looked at my old pictures to realize I always knew what was flattering then. Way before this endless pursuit of finding my style. ❤ great video
I always have been interested in fashion, but after many years of "trying on" different styles I've come back to "jeans, sweaters, turtlenecks, tees" time and time again. I guess I'll always be that person, so I've embraced "my" style and am saving money and having fun wearing my favorite clothes. 🙂
Ah yes, ive come to feel similar about "cost per wear". I understand how it can be helpful but yes, mostly feels like a logical justification tool to buy something. But its only a calculation that is needed if we have too many clothes that we cant possibly wear them enough. If we had just enough clothing, the cost per wear would always be "good" because it would have to be worn. It wouldnt be something we would have to think about. Ah our first world problems are interesting when we get reflecting on them. Great video 💜
Absolutely - if we had only what we actually needed - or honestly, even just a little bit more than we needed rather than way too much - then we wouldn't have to do all the "tricks" to see if we're wearing our clothes, or expressing our true personal style... So my next mission in the wardrobe is to continue narrowing down what I want to keep as my ideal options and responsibly get rid of most of the excess. I think it helps that I'm moving away from caring about being "fashionable" or even aware of fashion, also finding ways to genuinely detach from wanting to try the popular brands - so maybe I can actually make some more progress this year.
The bit about having too many cooks in the kitchen is so true. I think we do not give ourselves enough credit when it comes to styling. We don't actually need too much noise.
The “too many cooks” thing is super real, and I think it happens for the influencers too with brands/gifts. So many people online lack any sense of personal taste once you remove novelty from the mix. They have no repeat wears that last years, they don’t play with old clothes, they don’t see value in sharing if it isn’t new. The incentive structure isn’t there
Another problem with cost-per-wear is that it’s very enabling for thrifter/hoarder types like me. After all, if I only spend three quid on something, the cost per wear is going to be pretty good even if I only wear it a few times. Curation - was it Newsthump or the Onion that ran a story about a man who claimed to have “curated” a cup of tea by adding milk to it and stirring… I remember when the whole curation thing came in and it hasn’t added a lot except being a step in the path to intentionality. I love your two step “personal style”! Also about it not being obligatory to be stylish - one can just wear clothes! We need to hear this. Not every outfit has to be a put-together look.
I love your message Alexa. Your approach has definitely shifted the way I think about fashion, personal style, shopping, and it's incredibly freeing. Thank you! I love this quote, "Need what you need and like what you like". Well said.
I brought a £300 multi pocket jacket that was so thin. Very pratical and very useful, but not for me. I wore it twice. Now, everyday I wear a £20 super thick long sleeve top for winter. I brought 2. I have worn them daily since November. So less than £1 a day. And will be continued to be worn daily until March or even April and for at least Sep-March next year. I like to see my clothes get down to about 10p a day. I had a £155 watch I wore daily for 3 years. I now have a £25 watch, and I wear it once a week. Oddly, the £125 worked out a cheaper long run than the £25 one.
Cost per wear is never something that I have put much value in. Unfortunately, throughout my 48 years, I have owned way too many clothing items. I've been a revolving door when it comes to fashion. I can associate it with the fact that I never had a personal style. The year I turned 40, I decided it was time to stop wasting time and money. Before, I would just buy clothes, hoping I would look and feel a certain way. I was just buying whatever the current styles and trend fashions Not having a plan really caused overconsumption. However, now that I have found my personal style, I am able to create a cohesive wardrobe with fewer pieces. Since discovering my personal style, I also do not follow fashion trends. I like what I like. I find that I prefer certain fabrics, textures, cuts, and colors. No one would look at me and say I was on trend, yet I do think they would see my personality come through in the items I choose to wear. Some may also look at me and think, I'm horribly outdated or dressing from another time, or age group. Again, my life, money, clothing, and choice. I do still love the thrift store and the act of browsing. However, now I can walk away without purchasing a single item, and if I do decide to purchase an item (Not currently as I am on a No Buy Year) it is usually a replacement due to various needs or finding a better quality piece.
I'm also really learning that if anyone does look at you and think that you look out-dated, all that says is that THEY care about the trends and etc. to the extent of making judgements and observations - not that you should care! One of those things I "knew" but didn't really know until more recently
I dress entirely for comfort, not style. It probably helps that I’m in my early 60s and retired, and before I retired I worked in tech where no one cares what you wear. Since I dress for comfort, I don’t watch style influencers and don’t know or care what the trends are. Maybe not knowing or caring about the trends also helps with developing our own styles.
Yes! This is what I want to be my "normal" state - I've stopped watching style content since last year and am becoming more able to just let that perceived interest go
@@Alexas.nobuyyearI think it’s harder in your circumstances. It’s never been an interest for me. I’ve never even worn makeup. I’m also much older than you and with age comes more of an attitude of not caring what others think.
I totally agree with you about the cost per wear ''scam'' I feel it can only be apply on really specific item and a white t-shirt is not it. But it does apply to let say a winter coat. I'm Canadian so I only have 1 real good winter coat (like a majority of people) so here we are wearing this coat/parka for 4 good months of the year for a total of 120 days or more si if you buy a coat at 200$ and it only last 2 years and need to purchase 5 coats in the next ten years it will add up to a thousands dollars OR you buy a really good coat for 700$ and it last you 15 years (yes they do exist) well you save money. The cost per wear is real but that is based on you to keep the coat for 10years and plus and you to wear that coat for at least 4 months a year. I have the same philosophy for good winter boots aka good for walking in 4inch of snow for a good mile (again most of us only have 1 or 2 pair ) so if you buy a pair of boots for 100$ and they only last 1 to 2 years versus a good pair at 400$ that last you 5 years then its a win. I do not think this apply to articles that we have multiple of in our closet and that can be easily stain, rip no matter the quality.
I absolutely agree, I often find ti difficult to justify new clothing purchases, but do think through the cost per wear of workhorse pieces of my wardrobe- winter boots, coats and 100% wool jumpers, aiming for 10 years of heavy use and it pays off to get what I know is going to gave the function and lifestyle suitability for the long term
I would add a step 3: Wear what you wear. And what I mean by that is to be aware of the types of clothes and their characteristics (shape, material, cut, length, print, color etc) and stick to the ones that worked for you in the past. For example, I realized I prefer straight pants that cut off at/slightly above the ankle and so I won't try to integrate a very different style than that in my wardrobe, because the one I wear goes the best with what I already have (in terms of shoes and tops/jackets). So when I see influencers with wide leg floor length pants I just move on. (Well I do have a pair but it will remain the only one.) So as a takeaway I'd say we should trust our intuition and taste more and go with the safe choice, the one that worked for years. I'd say most of us know what we look "good" in so we should just continue to wear that. Really loved your perspective in this video btw! Personal style shouldn't be rocket science!
I think the only useful thought about cost per wear I’ve recently had is deciding not to buy a dress which looked like a version I would really like of something that is a staple in my wardrobe because it would just make me wear other dresses that I love less often. I was sure I would wear it if I had it, but I would lose interest in very similar and perfectly fine items I already own and that just didn’t sit right with me.
Yes yes yes! For the longest time I've been thinking of clothing buying in isolation but this is so key if you're adding more options or categories into your wardrobe. I justified to myself an expensive jacket based on the good value I'd got out of my other jackets and coats when I had 1 or 2, but when I have 5 that really reduces how much use I get out of any of them in a set period
You are not alone in using cost per wear to justify purchases in the past. I have heard influencers using this logic to buy $800 pieces of clothing. For me, CPW was the #1 tool that helped me stop wasting money on clothes. I buy almost exclusively from the thrift store, so I justified dozens and dozens of purchases a year for $4 or $5 each. This added up to hundreds of dollars a year. I wrote down every single piece of clothing i owned and each day updated my cost per wear for each item. Tedious but life changing. I realized how many styles/colors/materials i do not wear no matter how perfect it seems on the hanger. I kept up my CPW stats for a year and a half before i felt i was done with it. But it was truly invaluable for me to figure out what I actually like wearing! And to stop shopping as much.
So many great points, thank you! You have me thinking about the cooks in the kitchen and how more advice is not better. I feel like I've outgrown a lot of influencers that taught me things that I value, but I don't have to stick around to see what their next sales pitch will be...
Yes! It's hard, or been hard for me, to let go of these voices from my previous era of picking up that kind of information - and for me at least, I'm not sure that I would feel that I had the knowledge to be as well-dressed, or intentionally presented today, if I had not learned what they taught. I know some have shared here that they realize they always knew what was more flattering for themselves - I'm not sure that I would have, to be honest. And I do appreciate that. But, onto the new era!
I've accepted that there is too much influence around me to have a true personal style, at this point I just try to go for things that aren't micro trends so I can at least get somewhat fashionable for a few years. I actually love having a business casual job because I always look put together without having to watch trends so closely
I love fashion and clothes but after trying all kinds of aesthetics and styles, I discovered I feel best in shapeless loose clothes in nice fabrics and I am so crazy comfortable every day now ❤❤❤❤ when it both fulfilling a need and a like, it’s unbeatable imo ❤
I think cost per wear makes sense if you are trying to buy less things over the course of your life, and you restrict the conversation to things you actually need. I am very committed to buying only things that are made ethically and made to last. It’s helpful to know how long I need to use it to make it “worth it”. All that said, I agree, if you are buying something you don’t need, any cost per wear is too much 😝
Yes! I do think that at least for me, I'm less concerned if it's actually "worth it" - or my worth-it-meter will go up, for something that I actually truly need that can line up with my values. So if something I actually need has an ethical, higher quality version, I don't actually need to go through the cost-per-wear assessment because it's probably worth it to me to support the values I want to see in the world - within my own means, of course, but also if it's totally outside the realms of reason for me I will probably realize that without doing the math 😅
I feel like my best situation in terms of wardrobe was when I fell into a formula of a nice top that flattered my body, possibly with a cami if needed, and black dress pants. Cardigan if needed. But it was a formula that let me pull any shirt, and whatever pair of pants fit that day and it worked. As a teenager, it was pull the next pair of pants of the pile, the next shirt off the pile, and move on. My current hobbies in regards to clothing or fashion are crocheting (after 25 years learning to make wearables) and hand sewing (so this will hopefully get to the point it is replacing things as they get too big and need replaced on my weight loss journey.... which is in another hobby slot right now). *edited to add that this is hand sewing. I am hoping for 1 crocheted piece and 5 other pieces per year, mainly using stash fabric inherited from my Grandmother and Mom.
I think another factor that needs to be interrogated is the question: is it the style/stuff or THE PERSON (or more commonly the girl)? Because for most influencers, the stuff actually came after you already like the person, which means we were drawn to specific influencers because of qualities about that person beyond what they own. These qualities might still be supficial, they're pretty, skinny, put together, come from wealth, etc. Or characteristics that were learned/curated over long periods, they play an instrument really well, they treat others with kindness, they are very good with makeup applications, etc. Arguably, most of these qualities can't really be bought beyond imitating the outward appearance. The whole point of the "old money aesthetic," for example, is to convey that you have money, which becomes completely pointless... If you don't. What's the point of looking like a prep school kid if you don't go to prep school? What's the point of breaking your back to pay for your kid to attend prep school if they don't use that opportunity to propel themselves into a really good college? All that effort to create an illusion of whatever it is would probably be better used engaging in activities that actually better our lives. I'm wondering if the general idea of personal style is a symptom of being chronically online? In real life, I just don't know that many people who really spends that much time thinking about this. Doctors and nurses wear scrubs, construction workers wear safety equipments, office workers will typically put on that light coat at work because the temp is always a little bit too cold. I compliment others when they wear something interesting or when a special event outfit looks particularly stunning, but neither are truly "personal style," they're just interesting pieces. For a lot of women, standing out in the work place for their style may result in them being harrassed or penalized professionally. The exact same outfit, or the same personal style, can look vastly different on different people because real people don't look like influencers who tend to have more homogenous body types and other physical traits. So is personal style... real? Or a phenomenon that exists mostly in online spaces?
Absolutely! I think I at least began that interrogation in my own mind last year, I think I said in a video or two that "you're still going to be the one wearing or using the thing", you can't buy yourself into being the model or person etc. and then going further to say that YOU are the central element of every outfit, and the main signifier of your personal style! So I totally agree with this. Also agree with the chronically online phenomenon - I do know a few people who say they're into fashion (girls around my age or younger) but they're also probably consuming at least some online content, so it's hard to separate the two. I'm not sure how deep the correlation runs, since I do think that people had varying tendencies of being more or less into clothing before the dawn of the internet - magazines and such were a thing, and some people probably enjoyed things like knitting and sewing more than others, for the reasons of being able to customize their garments. But many of the stereotypical indicators of style today - the trends, etc - are things that people who are NOT online, wouldn't even know about. I'm looking forward to exploring what happens to my "style" as I get more and more offline, or at least, stop watching any online fashion content.
@@Alexas.nobuyyear You're so right about the magazines and interests in fashion pre-internet. Maybe the internet encourages more pervasive obsession or fixation on the idea of personal style?
@@fuchion15 pre internet you were also generally limited to what you could buy locally or by mail order so although I read fashion articles in magazines it seemed a lot less obsessive.
Buying a new piece and looking at cost per wear separately is THE scam. Because consequently in real life you wear other items proportionaly fewer times. But nobody mentions that
The problem for me with the cost per wear scenario is that when I’m purchasing an item for the first time, I really have no idea how many times I’m actually going to wear it. So I agree, it’s not really a helpful tool the point of purchase. On the flipside if I have an understanding of the types of things I wear on a daily basis, and I wear through certain items over and over for years on end (eg white linen shirts) then I know that is a staple and I’m good to make a purchase - but that still doesn’t necessarily justify a really expensive item over an average priced one. But more the point as you have made, is whether I wear the thing at all. If I’m wearing it I really don’t think about cost per wear because I’m getting the value from the item by wearing it. Also, I often have to often remind myself that price is not always an indication of quality. Wow…that was really long-winded! Sorry 😅
Love the long-winded chats, not to worry! It's almost as if the things we would even try to do "cost per wear" assessments on, are the things we aren't 100% sure of if we are getting the value from - for me now it's more of a "red flag" of justification rather than a tool for conscious purchasing like it's made out to be!
Actually, I think the idea of decluttering on social media promotes consumerism. I have gotten rid of things just to need something like it later. For me what works is to keep it simple. My personal goal is to not buy and every time I think I can buy something it must mean I can afford to invest or save that same amount. Not saying I am perfect but I can't work with so many loopholes.
I have also gotten in the cycle of declutter/purchase/declutter/purchase. It took learning about what happens to clothing that doesn't sell in the thrift stores (piled into mountains in landfills) to stop that cycle!
I agree! I forget the nuances of what I said in this video but the idea I was trying to communicate was that personal style should not actually need any of the loopholes created by ideas like "cost per wear" - totally don't remember what I said about decluttering 😅but I also believe that it's a phenomenon that is the result of (and perpetuates) an over-buying problem
@@Alexas.nobuyyear I apologize. You weren't making a point about this necessarily. I went on a mental tangent because it sticks in my craw, while you continued to talk about something else.
This would be a great topic for my fantasy podcast "Maths with Cindy". (And yes, I was an English major 😂) You would be my first celebrity guest! Frankly, as a non-math sort of person, I was always a bit suspicious of the "cost per wear" justification. You are right - it is dangerous as a tool to buy pricier things. As far as buying less, yes, that is the goal. I will be honest here and say that I have tried buying second-hand and everything - not exaggerating! - that I have bought online has not lived up to what it was supposed to be. All of it had unacceptable wear and damage when it was supposed to be in "excellent" condition, except for one item I splurged on with the tags still on and that was overpriced. So I'm sorry to say I will never buy used stuff online again. I know this flies in the face of almost all the conscious content out there, but I feel like I've wasted my money and been had. I prefer to buy from consignment shops in person, or fewer, NEW, nicer pieces. OR not at all, as you say 😁 $ZERO per wear!
And THANK YOU for releasing me from the yoke of "personal style"!!! You are the first person I have heard telling me I don't need one 😅 What a relief! "Need what you need - like what you like" - brilliant! And please don't give up the joy you have with your stuff. As long as it's kept in balance, it's a nice human quality to enjoy. And I enjoy it along with you 😁
That's so frustrating! I was perhaps lucky to have some good experiences online thrifting early on, so when I do get the inevitable disappointment it doesn't color my whole perception of shopping secondhand online. However I do have another chat coming about how this kind of shopping may not actually be very sustainable and is rather yet another symptom of an overconsumption problem at large in our society...so I'm also trying to move away from buying used stuff online too as a general rule! I'd run out of topics for a fantasy podcast about maths extremely quickly - it's not that I can't do math as much as it not being interesting for me right now - at least not interesting enough to delve into the topics worth talking about 😆
@ ha ha - so please do not feel the need to contribute to my maths podcast! I come up with all topics in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep. (For some reason story problems relax me 🤣) I would really really really (really?!) like for you to take up the whole conversation about second hand online shopping. I was so disheartened about my experiences that I actually googled (many times) for info/ feedback from others that had similar disappointing experiences as mine. I looked for anti-thrift videos. You name it. I used every imaginable search term. (Disclosure: I also have an info science degree with heavy emphasis on research, so you’d think I’d know how to extract this info? 🤔 haha 🤷🏻♀️) I was served nothing. Either this sort of content doesn’t exist or the UA-cam gods et al do not want me to know that there are others out there who are dissatisfied with online thrift shopping 🤷🏻♀️
Oh gosh it feels like personal style as a buzzword is everywhere, and I think it’s been overused. I hear so many discussions around having trouble finding our personal styles, on social media, across blogs - it’s ok to not have your personal style defined! What you like, is your style. I think our preferences should take time to discover and refine. Even style icons take time to develop and refine their tastes, from pants style, to favorite colors, and preferred fabric choices. And if clothing is supposedly associated with identity, haha, well identity takes time to understand too, to be confident and content with ourselves. I tried tracking wear count, and I haven’t kept up with it consistently either. I can totally see what you mean by it making you more conscious about fashion though, do what supports you most!
There's one over 60 influencer who, frankly, makes herself look foolish with "stop wearing this, buy that" "don't buy polyester, follow my affiliate link (to items made of polyester). She has a very distinctive style that wont work for everyone but comes across as very dictatorial. I did a cost per wear for 7 years and out of 200 items only about 10 went below £1 per wear. Most sat around £10-30. Yikes.
Well you definitely know which 10 items were either your favorite/most used! I feel like many influencers are on the "don't buy this, buy that!" train, used to serve their own businesses, of course 🥲
Cost-per-wear is something you shouldn't go into buying a product. I'd think of it as "space it takes to house: wear" ratio. If you buy one thing for £10 and wear it once, harbour it for a further decade, It costs more than just money; it's clutter, takes up space, and dilutes your attention from things you actually like.
@@deedee2455 year 5 I'm still battling my self, these are the things I found in the long run. Couple it with the a rule "imagine YOU CAN NEVER declutter this" makes you see things differently. Just because it's not piling in your house, it is somewhere ❤️
One concept from Hannah Louise Poston that stuck with me, was when she talked about some of her beloved items (back then it was the colourful, extraordinary dresses and blouses) that she wants to 'wash and wear' them and repeat. This has proven useful to me to analyze my clothing pieces. If I want to take them basically right of the drying rack, they are probably worn enough and have already been worth it. This concept also helps me decluttering when I watch the reverse effect: if I put off wearing certain pieces again after washing or if I have to force myself to wear them, I might declutter them.
Absolutely - that's part of what I learned in January doing the wardrobe tracking - first of all that I basically live in sweatpants and sweatshirts, tank tops and sweaters, and second of all that I also wash and wear those repeatedly, while I could probably go a full month without having to wash "work" clothing (both because I don't wash it with each wear, but also because I have more than I need). I know it's not quite same as having the favorites that we are excited to wear right after washing, but just another bit of practical knowledge gained from tracking the laundry - and another observation about cost per wear, that almost none of my "work" clothes are probably getting good "value" in that sense. And so I do need some of those clothes, I could probably have much much less.
Cost per wear is irrelevant when you have an annual clothing budget and stick to it - one year you could buy a 1000 dollar thing that you only wear one time per year and you only own for a few years but who cares (any you recyle the textile) - you’ve stayed in your budget.
I have often thought since i was a child about the amount of time/effort/money women are expected to put into aesthetics and looking polished and presentable. And i love whenever i see women really question 'so what' and challenge the ingrained expectations of our gender expression
I think most of us have an idea of whether we wear something enough to justify owning it, there are obviously exceptions like occasion wear though. I found that all the tools designed to make me spend less and have a cohesive capsule wardrobe were counterproductive. I’ve spent hours and money trying to define my style only to totally confuse myself and in one case hate the recommendations. A lot of this was prior to TikTok but it was not uncommon for the style bloggers to all recommend the same pair of clogs or the same sweater, and in one case buy a new minimalist capsule wardrobe each season. Now I’m happy with what I’ve got, albeit still too much but hopefully a year or so of No/low buy will resolve that.
I feel that it’s easy to get into personal style to fill a void if you’re insecure. For instance (because sharing personal details on the internet is always a good idea :)) I have a new job without a smart dress code, and as one of the most junior people I often feel pressure to prove myself. It’s making me want to buy smart clothes so that I feel more competent and professional. But also, if I dress up too much for work, I feel like I’m almost lying with my outfit. There’s nothing wrong in theory with me wearing nice work clothes, but in practice it seems I’m doing it to fill a void that can’t be filled by clothes and is POSSIBLY even exacerbated by clothes (although that’s a bit extreme, the problem is probably mostly totally unrelated).
I felt similar when I worked as a high school teacher - which may seem bizarre if you've seen any videos about "teacher outfits" on social media, but my school dress code involved collared shirts and no jeans, which it turns out most people did not observe all the time. But I was a younger teacher with no actual teaching qualifications (I did my certificate during that first year) so that was the year I bought most of my "nice" (and expensive) clothes. Luckily I do still have and like a lot of those pieces, and can wear them to my current job. But the whole attempt to rectify my feelings about not being sure I could do the job, through the outfit, was definitely misguided!
Speaking of CPW, I was having a discussion about if it’s worth upgrading to a nicer bed and mattress, friend brings up daily cost to be around $3 (assuming the setup to be used for a limited number of years). That number does not have any meaning to me though 😅 If I were to have a direct comparison over the quality of sleep, and see that it affects my long term health and other intangibles, sure I’ll consider it!
It's hard to put a price on things like this in my mind - things like a bed or a couch or long-term furniture, I don't really intend to replace for at least 10 years (know there are recommendations for mattress replacing but realistically we don't intentionally monitor that) and so I'd hope that cost-per-day is lower than $3, but I also know these things can get expensive, so maybe they're not! Maybe $3/day is actually pretty good just on a financial basis, I likewise have no idea😄 I've also heard many say that "good sleep is priceless" and anyone who's struggled with many nights of poor sleep, probably would agree there
@ Haha I was on a short time crunch to find a replacement, and ended up upgrading after all! I ended up somewhere between budget and higher end. This was part of my big purchases of last month and what made it easier to stick to a low buy of miscellaneous things.
I have been changed so much since November- December 2024. I've started with decluttering and very soon I realised I don't be help the brands and the machine which is feeding us into buying things. I don't want a part of it NEW YORK NEW YORK. I have decided to don't care of Trends , Brands and fashion and will not buy any more clothes I will use what I have the rest of my life. I have enough of everything. We need clothes to protect us from warmth and cold weather. We have forgotten this importance.
You can’t really use cost per wear when buying because who knows how many times you’re actually going to wear it. Also, if I spend a lot on an item I wear it less because I tend to keep it “for best”.🤪
I meant to put this on your last video but got distracted by life. I love the henley sweater you wear I will not ask about it (for now) because I don't need it. I also have added good, better, best to my savings goals made best in January so off to a solid start. Now the important stuff I have 2 dental implants and am happy to share any information or experience I have with it if you need one. Starting with save more than you think you will need. I have dental insurance but because insurance only allots so many xrays you will have to start paying out of pocket for those once insurance reaches its limits. Anyway happy to help if you need it.
Sounds great to have good/better/best for savings too, I might consider that! Also THANK YOU so much for sharing about the dental implants. I am hoping that I won't need one, and/or if I do, I'll be able to take some more time before making the final decision - not sure how "urgent" of an issue they typically are. A couple of years ago I was paralyzed with anxiety about the idea of having a tooth extracted, but nowadays I know I can survive even that unpleasant scenario if it turns into a reality 🥲
@@Alexas.nobuyyear I also hope you won't need one. They are very time consuming but not super painful. But mine was also at the front of my mouth and they don't look great during the process but totally worth it. They are usually something that is pressing and will have to do somewhat quickly. But most offices will work with you mine gave me a 10% discount on anything my insurance wouldn't cover which helped. I'm here for support or info if you need it.
The only "style" that I've been enamoured of is the effortless cool girl look (As in: I got dressed in the dark this morning and nothing "matches" but somehow it looks awesome). It doesn't require spending a lot of money (in fact when I used to vintage shop years ago I found things that were great to just throw on that I wore quite a bit). After a few fashion influencer videos I realized it is kind of a marriage of sporty and minimalist. It is basics but with an "I don't care" vibe. I don't hit this every day, but when I do I can tell. For me the "cost per wear" idea was only a justification for spending more money on higher ticket items (coats, boots). Otherwise, who cares how many times you wear a $20 top.
Its a hard balance, I sepent years being super utilitarian about my look and now am trying to find a look that feels like me. But i also dont want start buying like mad and swing the other direction of over consumption
I definitely think one or two things at a time is the way to go, and being wary of "recommendations" from anyone, influencers or in real life! It's also possible that you actually like aspects of the utilitarian style, so that may bear thinking about too in your journey!
Never thought about it this way before, but it’s a bit suspicious that youre meant to mentally divide every price tag by like 100, right? I think a tool that helps me more is figuring out how much I’m spending on luxuries (by which i mean clothes or books or electronics or whatever, not luxury brands) per month relative to how much I’m spending on groceries. Feels a bit weird to me if I’m spending an amount on Stuff that’s close to or more than the amount it takes to stay alive.
Yes! Unfortunately our grocery bill is astronomical (big family) so I need to remind myself to work off what I'm using for my individual hypothetical budget (that I shared in a video on here) rather than the grocery bill I see in our budget app
I really just want to be free from thinking so much about clothing altogether. Spending too much time watching clothing-related content on youtube including "finding your personal style" and clothing trend videos, counting how many wears per item, putting together outfits for the future, creating Pinterest boards, indexing clothing on an app, decluttering clothing, creating "capsules", selling clothing, shopping for clothing...
YES I'm guilty of most of these with the exception of the app and counting how many times I wear something. I still also participate in many of them despite being very aware of the fact that I no longer wish to, but I hope this is the year that I finally can kick the habit of spending so much mental energy and time on clothing.
You've absolutely nailed how I am feeling too. I'm so over the mental energy related to it!
Interesting insights. I totally agree, sometimes it feels like a chore -- it's tedious, it sucks, but you know you gotta do it. And I personally think I should be grateful for even having all that mental energy to care so much. Although I am hoping I will be able to *simplify* things once again like when I was a hardcore minimalist in terms of style back in the day even without labeling myself as one at the time. But who knows, maybe the passion turns into a profitable project in the future, and it wouldn't be just about selling preloved clothes.
@@GratitudeBelief1 Glad to hear I'm not alone in these sentiments.
I am so with you! I’m done with fashion
Agreed! This is where I can reveal that while I said I was going to track what I actually wear this year (home-wear included) to get the true data, I've actually found that impossible to stick to and did it for maybe 3 weeks, before deciding I actually had the "data" I needed (or at least, enough to report back with what I learned at some point) to formulate the "ideal numbers" for use value in my wardrobe.
I do feel like the only reason I continue to spend some energy on this is because I still have that sense of being over my point of "enough" for clothing, and wanting to get back down to there. That's what's taking the effort of deliberation, reassuring myself that I will still have tons of options with less, reselling, and achieving trend-immunity. When this "work" is done I hope to "just wear clothes" and feel good about it😆
I think the gist is that if you are not able to be honest with yourself, no "tool" is going to save you. If you are determined to buy something to fill a void and don't have discipline or discernment to overcome that, you'll use any "tool" in your belt to justify the purchase.
This is very true but this whole channel is a work in progress to address this problem.
Love this! In the process of making all of the tools I picked up, defunct (both my own and those I saw from influencers!) - so that at least then I'll be stuck between using my own discipline/discernment, and trying to use an empty tool-belt
After enormous amount of styling advice, years of researching my body architecture, my color etc etc. , I looked at my old pictures to realize I always knew what was flattering then. Way before this endless pursuit of finding my style.
❤ great video
I feel this!
I always have been interested in fashion, but after many years of "trying on" different styles I've come back to "jeans, sweaters, turtlenecks, tees" time and time again. I guess I'll always be that person, so I've embraced "my" style and am saving money and having fun wearing my favorite clothes. 🙂
Ah yes, ive come to feel similar about "cost per wear". I understand how it can be helpful but yes, mostly feels like a logical justification tool to buy something.
But its only a calculation that is needed if we have too many clothes that we cant possibly wear them enough.
If we had just enough clothing, the cost per wear would always be "good" because it would have to be worn. It wouldnt be something we would have to think about.
Ah our first world problems are interesting when we get reflecting on them.
Great video 💜
Absolutely - if we had only what we actually needed - or honestly, even just a little bit more than we needed rather than way too much - then we wouldn't have to do all the "tricks" to see if we're wearing our clothes, or expressing our true personal style...
So my next mission in the wardrobe is to continue narrowing down what I want to keep as my ideal options and responsibly get rid of most of the excess. I think it helps that I'm moving away from caring about being "fashionable" or even aware of fashion, also finding ways to genuinely detach from wanting to try the popular brands - so maybe I can actually make some more progress this year.
@Alexas.nobuyyear you're doing great 💚
The bit about having too many cooks in the kitchen is so true. I think we do not give ourselves enough credit when it comes to styling. We don't actually need too much noise.
The “too many cooks” thing is super real, and I think it happens for the influencers too with brands/gifts. So many people online lack any sense of personal taste once you remove novelty from the mix. They have no repeat wears that last years, they don’t play with old clothes, they don’t see value in sharing if it isn’t new. The incentive structure isn’t there
Another problem with cost-per-wear is that it’s very enabling for thrifter/hoarder types like me. After all, if I only spend three quid on something, the cost per wear is going to be pretty good even if I only wear it a few times.
Curation - was it Newsthump or the Onion that ran a story about a man who claimed to have “curated” a cup of tea by adding milk to it and stirring… I remember when the whole curation thing came in and it hasn’t added a lot except being a step in the path to intentionality.
I love your two step “personal style”! Also about it not being obligatory to be stylish - one can just wear clothes! We need to hear this. Not every outfit has to be a put-together look.
Haha I'll have a "curated" cup of tea, please!
I love your message Alexa. Your approach has definitely shifted the way I think about fashion, personal style, shopping, and it's incredibly freeing. Thank you! I love this quote, "Need what you need and like what you like". Well said.
Cost per wear 'scam' seems similar to me to 'buy less but better'. They are a hook to get people to spend more money.
I brought a £300 multi pocket jacket that was so thin. Very pratical and very useful, but not for me. I wore it twice.
Now, everyday I wear a £20 super thick long sleeve top for winter. I brought 2. I have worn them daily since November. So less than £1 a day. And will be continued to be worn daily until March or even April and for at least Sep-March next year.
I like to see my clothes get down to about 10p a day.
I had a £155 watch I wore daily for 3 years.
I now have a £25 watch, and I wear it once a week.
Oddly, the £125 worked out a cheaper long run than the £25 one.
Cost per wear is never something that I have put much value in. Unfortunately, throughout my 48 years, I have owned way too many clothing items. I've been a revolving door when it comes to fashion. I can associate it with the fact that I never had a personal style. The year I turned 40, I decided it was time to stop wasting time and money. Before, I would just buy clothes, hoping I would look and feel a certain way. I was just buying whatever the current styles and trend fashions Not having a plan really caused overconsumption. However, now that I have found my personal style, I am able to create a cohesive wardrobe with fewer pieces. Since discovering my personal style, I also do not follow fashion trends. I like what I like. I find that I prefer certain fabrics, textures, cuts, and colors. No one would look at me and say I was on trend, yet I do think they would see my personality come through in the items I choose to wear. Some may also look at me and think, I'm horribly outdated or dressing from another time, or age group. Again, my life, money, clothing, and choice. I do still love the thrift store and the act of browsing. However, now I can walk away without purchasing a single item, and if I do decide to purchase an item (Not currently as I am on a No Buy Year) it is usually a replacement due to various needs or finding a better quality piece.
I'm also really learning that if anyone does look at you and think that you look out-dated, all that says is that THEY care about the trends and etc. to the extent of making judgements and observations - not that you should care! One of those things I "knew" but didn't really know until more recently
I dress entirely for comfort, not style. It probably helps that I’m in my early 60s and retired, and before I retired I worked in tech where no one cares what you wear.
Since I dress for comfort, I don’t watch style influencers and don’t know or care what the trends are. Maybe not knowing or caring about the trends also helps with developing our own styles.
Yes! This is what I want to be my "normal" state - I've stopped watching style content since last year and am becoming more able to just let that perceived interest go
@@Alexas.nobuyyearI think it’s harder in your circumstances. It’s never been an interest for me. I’ve never even worn makeup.
I’m also much older than you and with age comes more of an attitude of not caring what others think.
I totally agree with you about the cost per wear ''scam'' I feel it can only be apply on really specific item and a white t-shirt is not it. But it does apply to let say a winter coat. I'm Canadian so I only have 1 real good winter coat (like a majority of people) so here we are wearing this coat/parka for 4 good months of the year for a total of 120 days or more si if you buy a coat at 200$ and it only last 2 years and need to purchase 5 coats in the next ten years it will add up to a thousands dollars OR you buy a really good coat for 700$ and it last you 15 years (yes they do exist) well you save money. The cost per wear is real but that is based on you to keep the coat for 10years and plus and you to wear that coat for at least 4 months a year. I have the same philosophy for good winter boots aka good for walking in 4inch of snow for a good mile (again most of us only have 1 or 2 pair ) so if you buy a pair of boots for 100$ and they only last 1 to 2 years versus a good pair at 400$ that last you 5 years then its a win. I do not think this apply to articles that we have multiple of in our closet and that can be easily stain, rip no matter the quality.
I absolutely agree, I often find ti difficult to justify new clothing purchases, but do think through the cost per wear of workhorse pieces of my wardrobe- winter boots, coats and 100% wool jumpers, aiming for 10 years of heavy use and it pays off to get what I know is going to gave the function and lifestyle suitability for the long term
I would add a step 3: Wear what you wear. And what I mean by that is to be aware of the types of clothes and their characteristics (shape, material, cut, length, print, color etc) and stick to the ones that worked for you in the past. For example, I realized I prefer straight pants that cut off at/slightly above the ankle and so I won't try to integrate a very different style than that in my wardrobe, because the one I wear goes the best with what I already have (in terms of shoes and tops/jackets). So when I see influencers with wide leg floor length pants I just move on. (Well I do have a pair but it will remain the only one.) So as a takeaway I'd say we should trust our intuition and taste more and go with the safe choice, the one that worked for years. I'd say most of us know what we look "good" in so we should just continue to wear that. Really loved your perspective in this video btw! Personal style shouldn't be rocket science!
Indeed 😁
I think the only useful thought about cost per wear I’ve recently had is deciding not to buy a dress which looked like a version I would really like of something that is a staple in my wardrobe because it would just make me wear other dresses that I love less often. I was sure I would wear it if I had it, but I would lose interest in very similar and perfectly fine items I already own and that just didn’t sit right with me.
This is a great point about how new things make the cost-per-wear of everything we already own, worse!
Yes yes yes! For the longest time I've been thinking of clothing buying in isolation but this is so key if you're adding more options or categories into your wardrobe. I justified to myself an expensive jacket based on the good value I'd got out of my other jackets and coats when I had 1 or 2, but when I have 5 that really reduces how much use I get out of any of them in a set period
You are not alone in using cost per wear to justify purchases in the past. I have heard influencers using this logic to buy $800 pieces of clothing.
For me, CPW was the #1 tool that helped me stop wasting money on clothes. I buy almost exclusively from the thrift store, so I justified dozens and dozens of purchases a year for $4 or $5 each. This added up to hundreds of dollars a year. I wrote down every single piece of clothing i owned and each day updated my cost per wear for each item. Tedious but life changing. I realized how many styles/colors/materials i do not wear no matter how perfect it seems on the hanger. I kept up my CPW stats for a year and a half before i felt i was done with it. But it was truly invaluable for me to figure out what I actually like wearing! And to stop shopping as much.
Glad to hear it actually does work in some cases!
Sounds like a valuable lesson!
This one was super interesting. I love the message - how very liberating!!
So many great points, thank you! You have me thinking about the cooks in the kitchen and how more advice is not better. I feel like I've outgrown a lot of influencers that taught me things that I value, but I don't have to stick around to see what their next sales pitch will be...
Yes! It's hard, or been hard for me, to let go of these voices from my previous era of picking up that kind of information - and for me at least, I'm not sure that I would feel that I had the knowledge to be as well-dressed, or intentionally presented today, if I had not learned what they taught. I know some have shared here that they realize they always knew what was more flattering for themselves - I'm not sure that I would have, to be honest. And I do appreciate that. But, onto the new era!
I've accepted that there is too much influence around me to have a true personal style, at this point I just try to go for things that aren't micro trends so I can at least get somewhat fashionable for a few years. I actually love having a business casual job because I always look put together without having to watch trends so closely
I've been trying to cull the influence around me, at least those that I can control! And I do feel better, as a result.
I love this discussion, lots of food for thought. The social pressure to look perfect all the time is degrading our self worth.
I love fashion and clothes but after trying all kinds of aesthetics and styles, I discovered I feel best in shapeless loose clothes in nice fabrics and I am so crazy comfortable every day now ❤❤❤❤ when it both fulfilling a need and a like, it’s unbeatable imo ❤
I think cost per wear makes sense if you are trying to buy less things over the course of your life, and you restrict the conversation to things you actually need. I am very committed to buying only things that are made ethically and made to last. It’s helpful to know how long I need to use it to make it “worth it”. All that said, I agree, if you are buying something you don’t need, any cost per wear is too much 😝
Yes! I do think that at least for me, I'm less concerned if it's actually "worth it" - or my worth-it-meter will go up, for something that I actually truly need that can line up with my values. So if something I actually need has an ethical, higher quality version, I don't actually need to go through the cost-per-wear assessment because it's probably worth it to me to support the values I want to see in the world - within my own means, of course, but also if it's totally outside the realms of reason for me I will probably realize that without doing the math 😅
I feel like my best situation in terms of wardrobe was when I fell into a formula of a nice top that flattered my body, possibly with a cami if needed, and black dress pants. Cardigan if needed. But it was a formula that let me pull any shirt, and whatever pair of pants fit that day and it worked. As a teenager, it was pull the next pair of pants of the pile, the next shirt off the pile, and move on. My current hobbies in regards to clothing or fashion are crocheting (after 25 years learning to make wearables) and hand sewing (so this will hopefully get to the point it is replacing things as they get too big and need replaced on my weight loss journey.... which is in another hobby slot right now). *edited to add that this is hand sewing. I am hoping for 1 crocheted piece and 5 other pieces per year, mainly using stash fabric inherited from my Grandmother and Mom.
I think another factor that needs to be interrogated is the question: is it the style/stuff or THE PERSON (or more commonly the girl)? Because for most influencers, the stuff actually came after you already like the person, which means we were drawn to specific influencers because of qualities about that person beyond what they own. These qualities might still be supficial, they're pretty, skinny, put together, come from wealth, etc. Or characteristics that were learned/curated over long periods, they play an instrument really well, they treat others with kindness, they are very good with makeup applications, etc. Arguably, most of these qualities can't really be bought beyond imitating the outward appearance. The whole point of the "old money aesthetic," for example, is to convey that you have money, which becomes completely pointless... If you don't. What's the point of looking like a prep school kid if you don't go to prep school? What's the point of breaking your back to pay for your kid to attend prep school if they don't use that opportunity to propel themselves into a really good college? All that effort to create an illusion of whatever it is would probably be better used engaging in activities that actually better our lives.
I'm wondering if the general idea of personal style is a symptom of being chronically online? In real life, I just don't know that many people who really spends that much time thinking about this. Doctors and nurses wear scrubs, construction workers wear safety equipments, office workers will typically put on that light coat at work because the temp is always a little bit too cold. I compliment others when they wear something interesting or when a special event outfit looks particularly stunning, but neither are truly "personal style," they're just interesting pieces. For a lot of women, standing out in the work place for their style may result in them being harrassed or penalized professionally. The exact same outfit, or the same personal style, can look vastly different on different people because real people don't look like influencers who tend to have more homogenous body types and other physical traits. So is personal style... real? Or a phenomenon that exists mostly in online spaces?
Absolutely! I think I at least began that interrogation in my own mind last year, I think I said in a video or two that "you're still going to be the one wearing or using the thing", you can't buy yourself into being the model or person etc. and then going further to say that YOU are the central element of every outfit, and the main signifier of your personal style! So I totally agree with this.
Also agree with the chronically online phenomenon - I do know a few people who say they're into fashion (girls around my age or younger) but they're also probably consuming at least some online content, so it's hard to separate the two. I'm not sure how deep the correlation runs, since I do think that people had varying tendencies of being more or less into clothing before the dawn of the internet - magazines and such were a thing, and some people probably enjoyed things like knitting and sewing more than others, for the reasons of being able to customize their garments. But many of the stereotypical indicators of style today - the trends, etc - are things that people who are NOT online, wouldn't even know about. I'm looking forward to exploring what happens to my "style" as I get more and more offline, or at least, stop watching any online fashion content.
@@Alexas.nobuyyear You're so right about the magazines and interests in fashion pre-internet. Maybe the internet encourages more pervasive obsession or fixation on the idea of personal style?
@@fuchion15 pre internet you were also generally limited to what you could buy locally or by mail order so although I read fashion articles in magazines it seemed a lot less obsessive.
Buying a new piece and looking at cost per wear separately is THE scam. Because consequently in real life you wear other items proportionaly fewer times. But nobody mentions that
That is a great point - it does automatically make the cost-per-wear on everything else you own, worse to bring in anything new!
The problem for me with the cost per wear scenario is that when I’m purchasing an item for the first time, I really have no idea how many times I’m actually going to wear it. So I agree, it’s not really a helpful tool the point of purchase. On the flipside if I have an understanding of the types of things I wear on a daily basis, and I wear through certain items over and over for years on end (eg white linen shirts) then I know that is a staple and I’m good to make a purchase - but that still doesn’t necessarily justify a really expensive item over an average priced one. But more the point as you have made, is whether I wear the thing at all. If I’m wearing it I really don’t think about cost per wear because I’m getting the value from the item by wearing it.
Also, I often have to often remind myself that price is not always an indication of quality.
Wow…that was really long-winded! Sorry 😅
Love the long-winded chats, not to worry!
It's almost as if the things we would even try to do "cost per wear" assessments on, are the things we aren't 100% sure of if we are getting the value from - for me now it's more of a "red flag" of justification rather than a tool for conscious purchasing like it's made out to be!
@ so true, that’s a great way to look at it!
@Alexas.nobuyyear oooh I think you're so right on that. I think I'm gonna and notice this
Actually, I think the idea of decluttering on social media promotes consumerism. I have gotten rid of things just to need something like it later. For me what works is to keep it simple. My personal goal is to not buy and every time I think I can buy something it must mean I can afford to invest or save that same amount.
Not saying I am perfect but I can't work with so many loopholes.
I like that idea the goal is NOT to buy
I have also gotten in the cycle of declutter/purchase/declutter/purchase. It took learning about what happens to clothing that doesn't sell in the thrift stores (piled into mountains in landfills) to stop that cycle!
I agree! I forget the nuances of what I said in this video but the idea I was trying to communicate was that personal style should not actually need any of the loopholes created by ideas like "cost per wear" - totally don't remember what I said about decluttering 😅but I also believe that it's a phenomenon that is the result of (and perpetuates) an over-buying problem
@@Alexas.nobuyyear I apologize. You weren't making a point about this necessarily. I went on a mental tangent because it sticks in my craw, while you continued to talk about something else.
I agree, it's so similar to watching diet to binge eating and back again cycles everywhere.
This would be a great topic for my fantasy podcast "Maths with Cindy". (And yes, I was an English major 😂) You would be my first celebrity guest!
Frankly, as a non-math sort of person, I was always a bit suspicious of the "cost per wear" justification. You are right - it is dangerous as a tool to buy pricier things. As far as buying less, yes, that is the goal. I will be honest here and say that I have tried buying second-hand and everything - not exaggerating! - that I have bought online has not lived up to what it was supposed to be. All of it had unacceptable wear and damage when it was supposed to be in "excellent" condition, except for one item I splurged on with the tags still on and that was overpriced. So I'm sorry to say I will never buy used stuff online again. I know this flies in the face of almost all the conscious content out there, but I feel like I've wasted my money and been had. I prefer to buy from consignment shops in person, or fewer, NEW, nicer pieces. OR not at all, as you say 😁 $ZERO per wear!
And THANK YOU for releasing me from the yoke of "personal style"!!! You are the first person I have heard telling me I don't need one 😅 What a relief! "Need what you need - like what you like" - brilliant! And please don't give up the joy you have with your stuff. As long as it's kept in balance, it's a nice human quality to enjoy. And I enjoy it along with you 😁
That's so frustrating! I was perhaps lucky to have some good experiences online thrifting early on, so when I do get the inevitable disappointment it doesn't color my whole perception of shopping secondhand online. However I do have another chat coming about how this kind of shopping may not actually be very sustainable and is rather yet another symptom of an overconsumption problem at large in our society...so I'm also trying to move away from buying used stuff online too as a general rule!
I'd run out of topics for a fantasy podcast about maths extremely quickly - it's not that I can't do math as much as it not being interesting for me right now - at least not interesting enough to delve into the topics worth talking about 😆
@ ha ha - so please do not feel the need to contribute to my maths podcast! I come up with all topics in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep. (For some reason story problems relax me 🤣)
I would really really really (really?!) like for you to take up the whole conversation about second hand online shopping. I was so disheartened about my experiences that I actually googled (many times) for info/ feedback from others that had similar disappointing experiences as mine. I looked for anti-thrift videos. You name it. I used every imaginable search term. (Disclosure: I also have an info science degree with heavy emphasis on research, so you’d think I’d know how to extract this info? 🤔 haha 🤷🏻♀️) I was served nothing. Either this sort of content doesn’t exist or the UA-cam gods et al do not want me to know that there are others out there who are dissatisfied with online thrift shopping 🤷🏻♀️
How about in store thrift shopping (We have a great GoodWill)? Only place I have shopped in about five years!
Oh gosh it feels like personal style as a buzzword is everywhere, and I think it’s been overused. I hear so many discussions around having trouble finding our personal styles, on social media, across blogs - it’s ok to not have your personal style defined! What you like, is your style. I think our preferences should take time to discover and refine.
Even style icons take time to develop and refine their tastes, from pants style, to favorite colors, and preferred fabric choices. And if clothing is supposedly associated with identity, haha, well identity takes time to understand too, to be confident and content with ourselves.
I tried tracking wear count, and I haven’t kept up with it consistently either. I can totally see what you mean by it making you more conscious about fashion though, do what supports you most!
There's one over 60 influencer who, frankly, makes herself look foolish with "stop wearing this, buy that" "don't buy polyester, follow my affiliate link (to items made of polyester). She has a very distinctive style that wont work for everyone but comes across as very dictatorial.
I did a cost per wear for 7 years and out of 200 items only about 10 went below £1 per wear. Most sat around £10-30. Yikes.
Well you definitely know which 10 items were either your favorite/most used! I feel like many influencers are on the "don't buy this, buy that!" train, used to serve their own businesses, of course 🥲
Cost-per-wear is something you shouldn't go into buying a product. I'd think of it as "space it takes to house: wear" ratio.
If you buy one thing for £10 and wear it once, harbour it for a further decade, It costs more than just money; it's clutter, takes up space, and dilutes your attention from things you actually like.
I like this point of view
@@deedee2455 year 5 I'm still battling my self, these are the things I found in the long run. Couple it with the a rule "imagine YOU CAN NEVER declutter this" makes you see things differently. Just because it's not piling in your house, it is somewhere ❤️
@@fariali72so true! "Just because it's not piling up in your house, it is somewhere"
Oooh, I love this conversation, especially the part about long-term impact - regardless if you declutter it it's still piling up somewhere! 🫨 so true
And now China no longer wants our trash so we are really up the creek!
One concept from Hannah Louise Poston that stuck with me, was when she talked about some of her beloved items (back then it was the colourful, extraordinary dresses and blouses) that she wants to 'wash and wear' them and repeat. This has proven useful to me to analyze my clothing pieces. If I want to take them basically right of the drying rack, they are probably worn enough and have already been worth it. This concept also helps me decluttering when I watch the reverse effect: if I put off wearing certain pieces again after washing or if I have to force myself to wear them, I might declutter them.
Absolutely - that's part of what I learned in January doing the wardrobe tracking - first of all that I basically live in sweatpants and sweatshirts, tank tops and sweaters, and second of all that I also wash and wear those repeatedly, while I could probably go a full month without having to wash "work" clothing (both because I don't wash it with each wear, but also because I have more than I need).
I know it's not quite same as having the favorites that we are excited to wear right after washing, but just another bit of practical knowledge gained from tracking the laundry - and another observation about cost per wear, that almost none of my "work" clothes are probably getting good "value" in that sense. And so I do need some of those clothes, I could probably have much much less.
Cost per wear is irrelevant when you have an annual clothing budget and stick to it - one year you could buy a 1000 dollar thing that you only wear one time per year and you only own for a few years but who cares (any you recyle the textile) - you’ve stayed in your budget.
I have often thought since i was a child about the amount of time/effort/money women are expected to put into aesthetics and looking polished and presentable. And i love whenever i see women really question 'so what' and challenge the ingrained expectations of our gender expression
I think most of us have an idea of whether we wear something enough to justify owning it, there are obviously exceptions like occasion wear though. I found that all the tools designed to make me spend less and have a cohesive capsule wardrobe were counterproductive. I’ve spent hours and money trying to define my style only to totally confuse myself and in one case hate the recommendations. A lot of this was prior to TikTok but it was not uncommon for the style bloggers to all recommend the same pair of clogs or the same sweater, and in one case buy a new minimalist capsule wardrobe each season. Now I’m happy with what I’ve got, albeit still too much but hopefully a year or so of No/low buy will resolve that.
Interesting point of view!i still do like the cost per wear strategy but I’ll gonna take it with a grain of salt!
I feel that it’s easy to get into personal style to fill a void if you’re insecure. For instance (because sharing personal details on the internet is always a good idea :)) I have a new job without a smart dress code, and as one of the most junior people I often feel pressure to prove myself. It’s making me want to buy smart clothes so that I feel more competent and professional. But also, if I dress up too much for work, I feel like I’m almost lying with my outfit. There’s nothing wrong in theory with me wearing nice work clothes, but in practice it seems I’m doing it to fill a void that can’t be filled by clothes and is POSSIBLY even exacerbated by clothes (although that’s a bit extreme, the problem is probably mostly totally unrelated).
Haha just realised this is simply the “you can’t buy an identity” you’ve already talked about!
I felt similar when I worked as a high school teacher - which may seem bizarre if you've seen any videos about "teacher outfits" on social media, but my school dress code involved collared shirts and no jeans, which it turns out most people did not observe all the time. But I was a younger teacher with no actual teaching qualifications (I did my certificate during that first year) so that was the year I bought most of my "nice" (and expensive) clothes.
Luckily I do still have and like a lot of those pieces, and can wear them to my current job. But the whole attempt to rectify my feelings about not being sure I could do the job, through the outfit, was definitely misguided!
Speaking of CPW, I was having a discussion about if it’s worth upgrading to a nicer bed and mattress, friend brings up daily cost to be around $3 (assuming the setup to be used for a limited number of years). That number does not have any meaning to me though 😅 If I were to have a direct comparison over the quality of sleep, and see that it affects my long term health and other intangibles, sure I’ll consider it!
It's hard to put a price on things like this in my mind - things like a bed or a couch or long-term furniture, I don't really intend to replace for at least 10 years (know there are recommendations for mattress replacing but realistically we don't intentionally monitor that) and so I'd hope that cost-per-day is lower than $3, but I also know these things can get expensive, so maybe they're not! Maybe $3/day is actually pretty good just on a financial basis, I likewise have no idea😄 I've also heard many say that "good sleep is priceless" and anyone who's struggled with many nights of poor sleep, probably would agree there
@ Haha I was on a short time crunch to find a replacement, and ended up upgrading after all! I ended up somewhere between budget and higher end. This was part of my big purchases of last month and what made it easier to stick to a low buy of miscellaneous things.
I have been changed so much since November- December 2024. I've started with decluttering and very soon I realised I don't be help the brands and the machine which is feeding us into buying things. I don't want a part of it NEW YORK NEW YORK.
I have decided to don't care of Trends , Brands and fashion and will not buy any more clothes I will use what I have the rest of my life. I have enough of everything.
We need clothes to protect us from warmth and cold weather. We have forgotten this importance.
I love the last part so much. We've forgotten the purpose of clothing! "If we have food and clothing, with these we will be content."
@@victoria9663 yes I 100% agree.
Haha we'll "spread the news that we're leaving today" - leaving the spell of the overconsumption machine
@@Alexas.nobuyyear Yes and you inspired me.
You can’t really use cost per wear when buying because who knows how many times you’re actually going to wear it. Also, if I spend a lot on an item I wear it less because I tend to keep it “for best”.🤪
This is also true!
After many wasted dollars i have learned i just like black. That's it. I like other colors, theoretically, but i am just going to wear black.
I meant to put this on your last video but got distracted by life. I love the henley sweater you wear I will not ask about it (for now) because I don't need it. I also have added good, better, best to my savings goals made best in January so off to a solid start. Now the important stuff I have 2 dental implants and am happy to share any information or experience I have with it if you need one. Starting with save more than you think you will need. I have dental insurance but because insurance only allots so many xrays you will have to start paying out of pocket for those once insurance reaches its limits. Anyway happy to help if you need it.
Sounds great to have good/better/best for savings too, I might consider that!
Also THANK YOU so much for sharing about the dental implants. I am hoping that I won't need one, and/or if I do, I'll be able to take some more time before making the final decision - not sure how "urgent" of an issue they typically are. A couple of years ago I was paralyzed with anxiety about the idea of having a tooth extracted, but nowadays I know I can survive even that unpleasant scenario if it turns into a reality 🥲
@@Alexas.nobuyyear I also hope you won't need one. They are very time consuming but not super painful. But mine was also at the front of my mouth and they don't look great during the process but totally worth it. They are usually something that is pressing and will have to do somewhat quickly. But most offices will work with you mine gave me a 10% discount on anything my insurance wouldn't cover which helped. I'm here for support or info if you need it.
The only "style" that I've been enamoured of is the effortless cool girl look (As in: I got dressed in the dark this morning and nothing "matches" but somehow it looks awesome). It doesn't require spending a lot of money (in fact when I used to vintage shop years ago I found things that were great to just throw on that I wore quite a bit). After a few fashion influencer videos I realized it is kind of a marriage of sporty and minimalist. It is basics but with an "I don't care" vibe. I don't hit this every day, but when I do I can tell. For me the "cost per wear" idea was only a justification for spending more money on higher ticket items (coats, boots). Otherwise, who cares how many times you wear a $20 top.
Stradivarius violin going up for auction. Expected to be the most expensive instrument!
🫨
Its a hard balance, I sepent years being super utilitarian about my look and now am trying to find a look that feels like me. But i also dont want start buying like mad and swing the other direction of over consumption
I definitely think one or two things at a time is the way to go, and being wary of "recommendations" from anyone, influencers or in real life! It's also possible that you actually like aspects of the utilitarian style, so that may bear thinking about too in your journey!
I think cost per wear should be a tool for things you already own to know if you need it again.
Makes sense!
Never thought about it this way before, but it’s a bit suspicious that youre meant to mentally divide every price tag by like 100, right?
I think a tool that helps me more is figuring out how much I’m spending on luxuries (by which i mean clothes or books or electronics or whatever, not luxury brands) per month relative to how much I’m spending on groceries. Feels a bit weird to me if I’m spending an amount on Stuff that’s close to or more than the amount it takes to stay alive.
Yes! Unfortunately our grocery bill is astronomical (big family) so I need to remind myself to work off what I'm using for my individual hypothetical budget (that I shared in a video on here) rather than the grocery bill I see in our budget app