been a hell of a year, and i'm kind of really feeling it hihi.
i spent all day yesterday trying to finish a song for my songwriting class even though i was completely exhausted, to the point that i just couldn't go to the class. i felt numb with guilt over something which is sort of inconsequential. once i'd decided not to go the bones of this song (which i wrote in 2022 i think?) began to go around in my head. i think partly because of the shock of the emotions i was having, which were so familiar to me but also distant in a way. and though i can't fully remember the whole song, i uploaded the beginning to tiktok back then. i remember getting stuck, being unable to finish it and finding the verses too clunky to work. so, almost three years later, i come back to the song and know what direction to take it in.
spent yesterday and today rewriting and its been pretty smoothhhhh. i think some parts still need to change, and i've already changed some since i recorded this 2 hours ago, but i kind of like this recording and version, and wanted to share it anyway
here are the lyrics as of right now ~~
Oh some things change and some don't
I’m still the same old worried girl on the phone, I
Wanna run away
Into the unknown
Kinda lonely to be on your own though
Come rainfall
Come snow
Come to kill the sorrow sown
Oh pressure so it builds
I don't know how long ill survive
When I'm sick with guilt
Take on unknown rooms
Take on the obvious news
Taking it rough to be sure and
To be is to be a bore so
Come rainfall
Come here
Convince the judge to have me cleared
Oh pressure so it builds
I don't know how long ill survive
When I'm sick with guilt
Oh some things change and some hurt
still a loser at the edge of the earth
Still a coward when it comes to my birth
Steal a ticket as i plan my return
Come rainfall
Calm down
Only time can save me now
Oh pressure so it builds
I don't know how long ill survive
When I'm sick with guilt
Sick with guilt
Sick with guilt
For guilt I make my mum worry
For guilt I make it in a hurry
For guilt I leave it unread
For guilt I wave at him instead
Im sick im sick im sick im
I'm sick with everything
Im sick im sick im sick im
Im sick im sick of guilt
my instagram:
ainoska_