Відео

THIS IS WHY THE BIBLE BANS GAY BEHAVIOR: BECAUSE THEY KNOWS WHAT'S UP WITH THE GAY COMMUNITY, NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE ANCIENT WISE GUYS.

Lots of love to you ❤️❤️❤️ I completely understand the being scared of rejection. I also act accordingly to it and with that I'm very often standing in my own way, cutting connection short as I'm too scared to be left/ rejected. I think it's good to build good relationships with oneself and others at the same time. Maybe go places where you can start a new hobby and where you feel safe. That way you can have more social interactions without having too much pressure on the relationships themselves to work as you have the hobby that connects you. What helps me at the moment is the mindset that I know that there are many answers out there for our questions we just have to look for them and sometimes it takes time. I m currently reading books on anxious attachment , codependency and female sexuality which all is very helpful for me to gain a better understanding of how I function. Maybe there are books/ podcasts that might give you more insight in how to overcome the dear of rejection. Lots of love again, you got this x

I can relate to some of what you said, and I appreciate how sincere you are in sharing. My first reaction was "I'll be your friend." As a gay guy in my mid-30's with mostly straight friends, though, I've realized that a lot of what you're talking about involves the transition from early- to mid-20's to late 20's / 30's life. For straight and gay people alike, partners, children, and family take precedence after the young young years are over. This isn't necessarily a bad thing; it does get tricky though if you're like me and don't have kids in your future. My concern would be that you're internalizing that experience as meaning that something is wrong with you, which is going to create a self-fulfilling prophecy. What I've found is that volunteering my time to a worthwhile cause and being good at my job (I like to think, at least, haha) attract people to me. That and I've done the work to be comfortable when I'm on my own, which also, paradoxically, attracts people to me.

Lovely video. Please do more about your journey. There is a reason why this is your most popular video - do more and people will listen. Wishing you the best and looking forward to hearing more honest, open and raw videos from you.

I dont have any friend. I have no one to share my feeling. If something happened, I have no one to text to. As a gay, I feel I am different from other people, like I am in a separate different world.

Great conversation! Thanks for sharing.

Hang in there. You got this. It’s not you. I’ve traveled the world and had the same feeling. It is the culture. This is our year. Smile

Exactly, I hear you loud and clear.

I can agree so much with you, thank you for your honesty and openness, once I didn't feel lonely:-)

The only song I already knew out of these was angel of my dreams. I like the sound of most of these so have downloaded on Apple Music to listen properly. Thank you for making this list 😁

I agree with so much of what you discussed. Hearing your heartfelt words and feelings describe so much of what I live with

As a 64-year-old, I can assure you that your priorities may shift considerably with time, especially if you have to focus on the basic aspects of our survival and even more so when one’s parents and/or most of one’s closest relatives are gone. If even now you’re already learning to be more selective about whom you allow into your life, let alone after decades of bitter experiences with the worst of human nature ... Although some may argue that the internet hasn’t helped much, I fully disagree! I remember well enough how far worse it was before it! Now I can do web activism for the several causes I defend and learn so many captivating subjects in a far more interesting way, with documentaries, etc. I also can find people with the same interests in each field of knowledge I’m keen on. I can also detach myself more easily when I notice some web friendship has become really toxic, another huge plus of making friends over the web, sparing us a lot of exhausting experiences which often leave deep, indelible marks on those who are more sensitive and emotionaly-driven, my case as well. However, unlike you, I do believe in interdimensional stuff and this has also helped me to filter those I should allow or not into my life but in romantic terms I became polyamorous about ten years ago - even if just in theory cause I’ve also distanced myself from such sort of relations ever since I’ve had to focus on my survival as a retiree, so mine wouldn’t be the same sort of problems a monogamous person usually finds when trying to engage in romantic relations. However, I’ve noticed amazing young, attractive people who have a somewhat good life in material terms suffering from lonelines coming out on UA-cam, that really breaks my heart but I also believe that by sharing their stories, they start having some sort of connection with these followers, though the depth of the latter will hinge on how they’ll be able to develop it through time. Following you and hoping to find you fulfilling your live with all the nurturing you need! Keep us posted! A big Brazilian hug (we latinos are really into this sort of stuff😉) P.S.: You're so handsome!

I learned that at not expecting too much from another human being can help with self acceptance. I always did very well in hook ups but chose not craving for validation any longer. Of course you are sacrificing experiences but got peace. When I see how people stablish "bonds" nowaday makes me not wanting to have something to do with another man. The least thing I would like to do is sharing my household or time with traumatized or trashy people just because having that absurd need to feel validated like some friends of mine.

My first real friend was made at 16, he was also 16. I had to move away after my mom died and we stayed in touch for a while, but after nearly 40 years, he just didn't seem to care any more. I get a happy birthday or merry christmas once a year these days. I have no friends around me now because those I thought were friends stabbed me everywhere even though I was always good to them. I don't try to date because I've been used and abused by just about everyone I trusted. Sometimes I just have to remind myself that I'm the only one I can count on and be happy with "Facebook Friends", because that's all I have in this world.

Love you.

I like it

You have expressed my experience completely. For many long years I chased after people, thinking that I was a greater part of their lives than I actually was. If I kept up the contact, there was contact, if not, no one would think of sending me a text, email or call. So, I finally decided to stop chasing after people. I too, have three good but geographically distant friends. They are great and we zoom from time to time. Essentially, I feel alone and lonely most of the time, but as I tell myself now, everyone knows where I am and how to get in touch with me and if I ever crossed their minds, they could drop me a line every now and then. Sadly, this includes family as well. Sometimes, one has to come to enjoy one's own company.

Thank you for making this video. Stay strong and I hope things get better for you.

Fox I totally relate - how about turning to a Higher Power, animals, nature and some form of art - writing as an example You might just be in a higher level than most ‘people’ - I’ve been where you are. Take care. Bless

Sorry but the sound is not good In a park without a good mic 👎

I think the fundamental reason why gay men in particular are lonely, is their desire for sex with as many hook ups as possible. Gay men in general, are extremely promiscuous and personally I find it weird but that's me, I'm old school in those regards. I'm gay, I've never been into the whole hook up, cruising and casual sex scene, nor do I find an attractive trait in a person. Gay men are always looking for the next best thing, even those in a relationship rarely fully commit and are window shopping at every opportunity and I say this from experience but not as the person seeking to stray or be unfaithful as I have never cheated on a partner and never would. I wish things were different within the LGBT community, particularly Gay men, whereby they were seeking substance and commitment, longevity and a relationship whereby you possess an unbreakable bond, but that appears to be truly rare. Finding someone with deep morals and foundations within the gay community, a person who will remain loyal and true, faithful and fully committed, is nearing impossible. I'm 41, I came out when I was around 16 and in all those years, I have been in 3 serious relationships and 2 that didn't amount to anything serious. I have slept with 5 people since I became sexually active and I'm proud of that fact, as it means I have deep morals and self respect. Sadly, all my relationships ended due to infidelity, with my last relationship lasting 12 years and it then came out that he'd met over 50 men via hook up sites, in parks and public toilets and it shattered my whole existence and broke me beyond belief. I will be perfectly honest in that I felt terribly alone in that relationship, disengaged and lonely, but not because my own feelings had disappeared, but because I knew he was talking to other men whilst I slept or was at work. I caught him several times and kept giving him chances, something I regret now as I basically facilitated his mistreatment of me by forgiving him. People will treat you how you allow them to, and if you forgive them easily after they break you, they will do it again and again and again. I do know of gay relationships that have lasted, with both partners being totally in love and wouldn't dream of looking in another person's direction, and it's beautiful to see. But it's so rare, and it's terribly sad and tragic, because if more gay men stuck to one partner, stayed true and loyal, and weren't hung up so much on looks, youth, sex and an unfounded belief that they'll find better, well a lot more gay men would grow old together and wouldn't feel so alone. Social media, hook up apps and the internet in general, has paved the way for most of these behaviours and made it easier for people to seek out sex on tap, but porn has also destroyed mindsets as it's given a lot of men a complex and a false narrative of how sex should be approached. To me, sex should be meaningful and be between two consenting adults who have a deep connection and love for each other, but for most gay men, it's just sex, and you are a piece of meat to them.

I am a 73-year-old gay man, single for years, and I so relate to your thoughts and feelings. What I have realized is that my loneliness will never be removed by connections with others, only through a deeper connection with myself and my higher power (or God if you prefer).

So powerful to listen to you expressing your truth so authentically and vulnerably! That need for authentic expression, physical connection and empowering each other in a community resonates a lot! In a world that is changing rapidly, we need more and more to connect to our bodies and other bodies, and allowing ourselves to be seen, which creates intimacy (in-to-me-seeing). To my perspective, what you have shared is a total reminder that we are not alone, rather so much interconnected! There is so much power in feeling that void/loneliness. Maybe that's an invitation to allow something fresh and new to emerge? I love to see you shining and exploring🌟

Why does friendship has to be gay? Friends are not chosen because of their sexual orientation. Sexuality has nothing to do with friendship

We may be brothers from another mother. I feel so fortunate to have come across your channel. Always call, never called absolutely invisible. I have been ill for 7 years , have one son 22 years old who lives with his wealthy mother while I live 200 miles away in near poverty with about 3 years to live and most of the time theve both blocked me on their phones and emails. And never have they (this I would find almost impossible to believe, but I assure you its true) during this six or seven years of illness neither have ONCE asked after my health. I know I have to walk away but I have only shared 2 percent of the story. Was thinking of writing a book, but then awhile back I decided to start my only channel that is like spoken word life story, not is strict order but jumping around and infusing humor as oiften as possible. I just think too there are so many of us of my age group late 50's andd early sixties that had no rights in the 70's and 80,s and we were dealing with full blown aids and attending funerals of friends on a monthly basis. I always wantedd a child, but living the gay lifestyle would never have had that option. The only way was to bury who the real Jay was and marry and live normally. I chose the second route, did fall trully in love with a woman whom I married, had a very good marriage of 16 years, finally got pregnant and divorced when my son was one. I was left with very little......anyway to wrap it up, so many of my generation took the same route and in doing so look back almost in horror that we lost the best years of our lives, while we were still young, and desired because wwe had only 2 choices. And there are no guarantees of course, my son doesn't speeak to me, bullies me (Not because of being gay, no problem tere) i must stop now. Remember "Never allow another to establish your worth" and to you podcast maestro, thank you and do me a favor, these experiences we all share are inherantly depresing and sad and were all donniee downers I'm sure but don't ever apologize at the end of every segment for sharing your truths. No its not pretty, ofter life isn't. You have the guts to strip naked and expose your most painful and personal life experiences and in doing so people like me will come out of the suffering lonely second closet and many before me qand many after will, mainly because of your willingness to expose yourself so honestly, and yes sometimes almost too hard to hear but only because so much is like looking in our mirrors. Thank you again, and thank you for your lovely comments of encouragments. Jy

Subscribed. Such a brave and important - and often totally disregarded - talking point. I loved that you talked about this so openly, thank you. I think there's a whole myriad of points here. Not fitting in, fear of rejection, the passing of years, the cultural shifts etc etc. The whole gay culture thing - I find it's superfast and built purely around sex. And a lot of people get trapped in this cycle because they think that's what they have to do (as opposed to what they actually want to do) I've heard so many gay people talk about friendship as 'boring' but lacking the emotional maturity for relationships lasting beyond a few 'dates' and it's becoming more common now for talk about romance as being the fault of Heteronormativity (I mean jeez even a sweet and wholesome show like Heartstopper is classed by some in the same terms). So the outcome? Frankly fairly empty lives built around fleeting encounters. Soulless. Devoid. Lacking. And then there's the issue that it's harder in societial terms to find meaningful friendships as an adult with anybody. The gay scene has always created a sense of 'emptiness' in me so I avoid the pub/club scene totally and all the desolate soul crushing apps. Sorry stream of consciousness there. But I feel your post. I think a lot of people will.

I am a gay man living in Phoenix AZ and can totally relate. It's exactly the same deal here. I have been taking a break from the scene now for the last few months. It becomes very toxic and nasty in those places. As a man of 46 now, I face discrimination due to my age and also I don't have a high-paying job or nice car or fancy place so people are also very judgmental about that. I am really looking to meet a good man with whom I can share my life but it's like looking for a grain of salt in a haystack it seems. I am now trying dating apps since the bars and clubs didn't work out but they are also super toxic and there are even scammers in those apps so you have to be careful. I don't know. I have also lived in other large US cities and it's the same deal. Most gay men are super shallow and judgmental. What's more is that I am masculine and have gotten a lot of criticism for it. I've had men tell me to stop faking it and to start to act "gay". What a joke. Gay men come in all shapes, sizes, and personalities. I also am so tired of them pushing a very close-minded liberal agenda, it's insane. Anyhoo, I totally understand also where you are coming from in terms of friendships. I have few friends but most of the time I am the "initiator". I am the one suggesting we go somewhere, like maybe a concert or play, and most of the time they are unavailable. Let's hope for the best.

Im so sorry youre feeling like that :(

Hi Connor, Thank you for the share! ❤❤ It sounds to me like you're changing and growing, I somewhat understand how you feel. I always love being alone, perhaps because of the rejections I learned much earlier in life. In my experience, I personally never found the gay community to be my cup of tea. So, I ended up picking my people with different criteria. I wish you all the best in the process :).

You’ve inspired me to journal again tysm Connor ❤❤

Can you do telepathy cause this has been me for the last 5 years!!! ❤

Greetings from the U S, where the dumb fucks just voted to put that orange monster back in the white house. Let me please preface my comments by stating that I am straight, but the majority of my friends are LGBTQ2+ members. I can tell you that loneliness is experienced by all groups. In my own life I was bullied mercilessly all the way through high school. I was painfully thin and short, and ironically gay slurs were hurled at me regularly. I became very alone and isolated. I started working on myself. I began reading incessantly and lifting weights. Within a few years I totally transformed my body and mindset. I suddenly became aloof and enigmatic, and I suppose attractive. Women and gay men began gravitating towards me. Much of my self-loathing was beginning to dissipate. But the most important thing is that I did not become arrogant, and I maintained my humility. I continue working out daily and eating healthy. I also was diagnosed with adhd early on life. I hated the meds I was put on. I no longer take them. I never drink; however, I live in a state that has legalized cannabis. I love edibles infused with THC. It has been a godsend (just a figure of speech, since I am also an atheist.) The gummies have totally eliminated my insomnia. It's remarkable what a good night sleep can do for you. Also, stay hydrated! I suppose the point of this rambling comment is that the most important thing for you to do, is to work on yourself. Get healthy both physically and mentally. Lose the look of desperation, which can be off-putting to most people. Stand up straight and with confidence. I promise your life will improve exponentially! Despite what you think of yourself, you are a kind, thoughtful, and an amazing human being! Believe in yourself, and remember, the detractors are merely projecting their own self-hate on to you.

Thanks for this video, I can relate to it a lot. I'm not sure if you have ever heard of the hedgehog's dilemma (or sometimes called the porcupine's dilemma) but sounds like this is what you are describing here en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedgehog%27s_dilemma. It can be so hard to reach out when you have been hurt so much in the past, but I guess it's trying to find of the balance of protecting yourself enough but not to completly shut out others, and closing yourself off to new experiences.

I'm thinking like the people you see in your life are the random ones. People in your comments are more like a filtered version of that randomness. Because we are making choices in some way that the algorithm can catch our personalities, identities, and preferences so that it can show us certain content that we would like. And even clicking on this video or your channel is a choice, so there is curiosity, familiarity, and expectations behind it. I'm not gay but I'm interested to hear other voices because we are people and we shouldn't discriminate each other just because of our preferences, that's pathetic. What I can suggest you is to realize that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, your life and your preferences. Just stick to what you are doing and exclude yourself from toxic environments. The most horrible thing you can do to yourself is being around people that you are not enjoying just to be "fit" in. Please don't do that. Don't try to catch something, do your thing and let your people find you.

I'm 6 minutes in and your story has me in tears. They're not from pity but from recognition. I too have wondered: "Why?" "What's wrong with me?" "Why can't things be different?* "How is this fair and if nothing's fair what's the point of trying to be a good person?" I understand my friends (all two of them) have their own lives, their own issues, but why can't they find time to be like we used to be! (Covid screwed us all in so many ways!) Sometimes, I get too into my head and wonder if I signed up for this life in a previous existence. Are we in a computer program and if so, who the hell wrote my character? Sorry if my droning on isn't relatable. I'm much older than you, straight, and female. I've never been out of North America. I guess I just wanted you to realize you aren't alone. It feels like it but that's what happens when you're highly sensitive, an introverted creative, and "smarter than the average bear". It's a blessing and a curse. So here's what I'm trying to do: 🔹I'm not helping myself by expecting anything to be different if I don't change my attitude. 🔹That being said, if it ain't broke don't fix it. But if I'm so happy with who I am, why am I so miserable? 🔹I have enjoyed opening myself up to new ideas and different ways of looking at things. I used to beat myself up for saying sorry all the time (i still do it) but I learned it's a habit learned in childhood. Understanding my enneagram & personality type was helpful. (I'm currently figuring out how relevant chí & blocked chakras are to my wellbeing.) I've come to accept I am never going to get married or have kids -- I don't like it but what a relief that I'm not wondering if he's the one or why doesn't he call back? (You're still young so I wouldn't write off true love yet.) It's just feels amazing not to be burdened by expectations. 🔹 I've started to enjoy my life now that I am not trying to live up to expectations (mine or Society's). 🔹And finally, give yourself a break. You're not perfect, you're never going to be perfect, and nobody on this planet is perfect either. So nobody has the right to judge you, not even you. Thanks for giving me space to ramble on. I hope something helps; you've helped me. Thanks for posting it. 💟☮️

You're saying the same words I would say, and I think we all felt similar waves of emotions over the last disruptive years. I have become majorly isolated, and tired. Letting go of friends and sad at how easy that is. You are very authentic and honest here without being bitter, which means you still have capacity for hope. 💕

Such a joy to listen to!!! Wow, both of your journeys to reach this point are pretty wild! Great to hear the raw authenticity and that you are both a lot more comfortable with yourselves, and how Piotr is a MiFit Mindful Fitness coach! Thanks for creating and posting the video Conor, fascinating to hear both of your stories of how you go to where you are today!!! 😀

I've been dealing with the same thing, I've delt with depression and suicidal ideation for 10 years now because of the loneliness, I thought I'd graduate from my catholic high school and go to college and meet gay people there, and be able to get a high paying job to move to a city. But none of that ever happened, between my adhd and covid happening right as I entered I just couldn't keep up with college no matter how hard I tried, not even a community college. I've gone down a very dark path the past few years, I was very addicted to porn and weed but I've been trying to replace those with lifting and art. Still it's not enough, I still live with my parents at 24 and feel like a child. On the brightside, the only thing I could think to do is follow my dreams, I'm making a comic, something I always wanted to do, but it seems like being an artist unlocks a whole new level of anxiety. I don't even look at the apps anymore I think I probably have rsd too, though everyone I match with is like 3 hours away anyway. I'm still young, I feel like I'm wasting my youth like I could be doing better but everything I try it just feels like I slide right back down into this hole. I never imagined my life would turn out like this.

Thanks for this vid. Much love from the Netherlands.💗💗💗

Feeling disconnected with the world is a getting older thing and nothing really to do with being homosexual. Being a teen or early twenties you feel part of the world: the music, the nightlife, the fashion are all youth orientated. One loses that doing things as a gang experience. All with basically the same tastes etc. Being an adult, if you’re not in a family unit, no matter what form that takes, is a lonely thing. The culture surrounding you stops being a crutch, or rather, that culture evaporates as the next generation steps out in its new fashions and passions.

Cool to see your interaction and hear about your stories! :)

I hope you’re are feeling more clarity around this of course it’s a journey and I think it absolutely has taken courage to speak about your experiences and open up, it touches people - watching this is made me feel a little less alone with similar experiences I felt I could relate to a lot of what you were saying as a gay man even down to how you articulate things ! does this account have an Instagram account or podcast ? ☺️

Hi, I recently attended a course about Core Transformation, which is all about transforming unwanted emotions, behaviours or thoughts. The basic idea is that every part of ourselves has a positive intention, and in fact wants some core state of beingness, such as love, peace, oneness etc. If you are curious about it or would like to talk, let me know. You seem pretty cool, and I would like to be friends if you are open to that, and I could also use the practice of guiding people through core transformation if that is something you are potentially interested in. I am in New Zealand so time zones might make things interesting, but if it seems like something you might be open to, let me know.

It's insane to me that the loneliness that you can feel when you are on your own is less painful than being the loneliness that you feel when you are in a group of 'friends'

Hi Connor, I just watched your excellent video about Loneliness. It was heart rending but resonated so much with my own experience. I'd like to keep in touch with you. What's the best way of doing this? Rich

I feel so sad that you feel so hopeless. Please be more positive. You can enjoy life without fake friends.

Wow, I have found this very honest open talk immensely helpful, and I am 71 (and gay). Many many thanks for making this video. I would like to add that I think what you are describing is not just a gay issue, but a general societal issue. I get the impression watching others, that loneliness is a part of the modern western human condition. Being gay, or being from another minority group makes dealing with loneliness more problematic though. Your descriptions of feeling rejection after investing in others is very telling to me though. It doesn't necessarily get easier, (I am elderly, gay, HIVpoz and live in a rural community), for me though, such difficult feelings are something that come and go seemingly without pattern. Challenges in life are something we need to face and go through, knowing that we have good days and bad days.

The last time I had a true core group of friends, including a couple of gay friends, was in high school. I moved countries for university and made "friends" that were not actually friends, except for one person who is terribly and wonderfully chaotic, which means we don't talk often, but when we do, it's really deep and fulfilling. Since then, I've just had trouble building real relationships with people because I'm a bit of an introvert and it's just tough to find a good balance between frequent social interaction and solitary time to recharge and just be in silence. I really only have a possibility of work friendships, which can sometimes feel like an extension of work. Gay friendships are kind of impossible because hookup culture has almost totally destroyed gay spaces and I don't really want to go on a date to see if it doesn't work out romantically, but we might possibly be able to become friends. Like, it's a lot, so I've kind of just pulled back and become friends with my family, which is great but also difficult to navigate because family sometimes loves to tear down your independence without even realizing it. I feel like if I was a woman, this would be so much easier to figure out.

I’m totally convinced that it’s difficult/ impossible to have a friendship with another gay guy. Just as I think it’s the same with straight guys and women ..

The way you articulate, shows you're very intelligent!