Відео

I was doing some research about my alma mater, the University of Alabama, which has a suicide rate of ~7.5 / 100,000 students. Notably, this is lower than the state rate of ~16.5 / 100,000. It is also fairly notable that the figure attached to UA is a little bit hard to pin down since the University isn't exactly encouraged to publicize that figure. I wonder if it would be beneficial to enact legislation that forces universities to publish their suicide rates. My line of thought is that no one in their right minds would publish that figure without a robust suicide prevention plan. Force people to talk about this issue.

Thank you for your insight Ben. Alabama does not have JED but they do have other resources. What I didn’t see was mandatory hall meetings with the RA in dorms. Maybe that should also be on the list since their suite mates or hall neighbors are their closest family at times.

I can’t believe that there is not currently suicide prevention training among everyone at CU. Shocked and mortified. Stunned. Im so glad you felt heard. And I hope they made you a lot of promises. What did they promise you? Correct. No services visible to kids. Locked away in a room. With waiting lists. Referrals provided. The ER at Foothills hospital is flooded regularly with CU students. Bc they are not getting the support they need. You are proposing a COMMUNITY of care and services. And I couldn’t support you more. All the kids talk about mental health issues and NOBODY CARES about us. Nobody is checking on us. What do we do to get support? I hear this routinely in my caseload. And from kids. There are services. IF you reach out. the outreach office didn’t return 2 phone calls I made concerned about students. “There is no they” I couldn’t agree more The system in place is failing young adults. Colorado is a failure in mental health and substance abuse intervention and treatment. And you know this better than anyone. I am so sorry Ben. 🙏 Thank you for helping all of us understand that CU has no JED system. Did not know it exists. And not at all surprised CU is not participating this.

I agree that this issue is prevalent across many university campuses. A few years back a senior at Texas A&M found he failed a class he needed to graduate, his parents didn’t know about how things were falling apart. It wasn’t until the showed at graduation and couldn’t find him. He was missing for days and eventually found dead by suicide. These are high stress situations for young people whose prefrontal cortex is not fully developed. Parents are kept out of the loop therefore professors must notify someone when they see things going bad fast. No attendance for 3 weeks is a huge red flag.

As an alum ‘91 and a licensed marriage & family therapist of 30 years, in the area, a mom of a cu freshman boy, and a friend of one of Mannys pledge brothers, I’ve texted you and everyone in my professional and social network knows how strongly I feel and how concerned I’ve been about the substance use and mental health issues at CU. AND. THE. LACK. OF. CARE. AND. SERVICES. AS. A. COMMUNITY. to really address it. Parents are not receiving communications, warnings about suicides and drug overdoses, the mental health and substance abuse issues. It seems CU tries to avoid calling attention to the issues. Your life vest metaphor… the Be Bolder slogan. I just could not agree more. So true. So poignant. So real. I have been on call for my sons dorm floor as a local parent. And I’d do more if CU let me and others contribute, volunteer, whatever it takes. I have no faith in our public school system nor CU in addressing these issues in a meaningful way. If you reach out you get an email with a list of websites for suicide prevention and therapy. I have emailed the Dean of Students since you lost Manny. No response.zero. And this was a follow up to my August email begging him to alert parents about the Febtanyl overdose a few days before Fall semester started. The main reason I know there were 4 suicides last Fall- you. This is a disgrace that CU is silent. It is unnecessary. It is tragic. Children are dying because of the lack of action CU takes. Dorms should be having regular support mtgs. RAs should be trained but also supported by mental health professionals who are there, in the flesh, holding groups and checking on kids. Fraternities and sororities need to have more professional support. Boulder is FULL of therapists and mental health experts happy to help. We can do so much more than post signs. We can have caring, trained professionals helping. One student at a time. The university, as does our school district, is a closed system that is failing the students and the community. So yes, I agree with you. There IS something in the water here. And it’s not good. From the bottom of my heart, I’m with you. And yes… Boulder IS WIRSE THAN OTHERS. THC is contributing to the mental health crisis. A lot of schools are not bathed in THC like CU Boulder. Period. That is only one factor we have here that is very very different from other universities. The party culture here…it is out of control. I so so so sorry for your loss of your beautiful son Manny. The work you are doing, especially in your time of mourning, it is a gift to the planet. I’m listening, I’m with you, I’m sharing your posts.

My heart goes out to you and your family. I so appreciate your ongoing engagement to make change. My son is a freshman and really struggled the first semester. I am an alum of the CU grad program and a faculty at a different institution and I did not know how to activate support. Over break I learned about a student concern form that anyone can complete on a Buff to activate support. I am including the info I got from a CU instructor on this in case it is helpful to anyone, “ refer them to a case manager through Student Support and Case Management because those case managers can then connect the student the academic resources (like academic coaches), wellness/mental health resources (like CAPS), and other related trouble-shooting (like working with advisors about scheduling, etc., when needing to re-take classes, arranging for various accommodations with coursework...). A case manager can be helpful in connecting a student to multiple resources but then being that one point-person who follows up with them and has the "big picture" sense of what's going on in their world. www.colorado.edu/support/sscm/

These are fantastic ideas and should be included in the freshman protocol on every campus. I am confident your work will have a meaningful impact, bear fruit, and help transform the silent struggles of mental health on college campuses. The Manny card is a must! Signage is a must! Check-ins are a must! Mental health awareness is imperative. We will always love and treasure Manny. Praying for you and your family!

Thank you for continuing to post. I can imagine how hard it is. Your son changed my life. We used to go to camp together he showed me how to be myself. I will forever be part of Manny’s band.

I miss him everyday.

I am so sorry for your loss. I applaud your strength and commitment to changing the culture at Boulder and shining a light on the improvements the university needs to make regarding mental health support for the students.

Thank you. My son is a freshman at Boulder and we will watch this video together.

No one reciprocated what he gave. I know myself what this feels like. He tried for a long long time.

Unfortunately it’s not just Boulder. It’s a culture at college campuses across the nation that turn a blind eye to the excess use of drugs and alcohol.

Wow

students, faculty, staff..... what are you ideas - what's missing - what do you think your school can do?

Buffs - you agree? any stories you can share that support (or contradict) what I'm saying here? What do you think is the water in Boulder?

Listening generously and learning with you.

My heart goes out to you and Rebekah. May his memory be a blessing and help others heal and prevent further pain

Thank you- I always thought talking to my kids about suicide was a bad idea… I didn’t want it to cross their mind & was naive to think it never would. Because of Manny, our family has discussed the topic twice, in depth, and now have plans in place for what to do if sadness becomes deep & wont go away. Thank you & I’m so sorry.

I believe we need to raise awareness and educate. I’m so sorry I can’t imagine what you’re going through. I was 16 years old when I tried .today I’m 54. The reality is that depression and mental health issues are stigmatized so a lot of people are afraid to talk about it, especially when you’re young. I believe if we want to change our future, we have to help our youth. They are our future I would like to help and be a part of Manny‘s band. Not all disabilities are visible or physical. Maybe if we increase awareness the signs will be clear and maybe we can end the stigmatism. I am an Atlanta native. And I grew up in the Jewish community. Sincerely, the unseen disabilities. ilene

🙏

Freshman students should not participate in Greek life. Only starting 2nd year and only if they have GPA 3.0 or higher.

Was he on any Meds?

My heart goes out to you and your family. I’m 10 months in with my beloved daughter Stephanie, forever 23. She felt both the joy and the pain very intensely. I admire your immediately kicking into action. May our beautiful children Rest In Peace 💜

Your words are so well thought out. I truly know together we will be able to make a difference. You are a truly a strong warrior. I am proud yet sad to be a part of Manny's Band.

Thank you for this eye opening conversation on Manny's journey, your journey. So much truth here. Will continue to listen, share & talk.

This is heartbreaking. And you are so right. If AI is good for one thing, this is it. 😢

Powerful words and an amazing plan Ben. So proud of your strength to demand change and resources for Sucide. #MannyBand

Sending you love & light during this difficult time- and want to say thank you for sharing your story- and for the courageous acts of saving the rest of our babies- you have opened my eyes to much more - even when I thought I was helping my freshman - our babies are suffering in silence- but you are so spot on! The Phone knows …. Thank you for all you have done thus far. My deepest condolences to you and your family.

❤😢🙏

I'm so sorry for your liss. A phone alwrt would be amazing! It should not cost phone users a penny like crash detection systems.

My deepest condolences to you and all who loved your precious Manny. May his memory be for blessing. My own beloved son struggles with depression and suicidal ideation, as well. Your question about coding phones to send out a distress signal struck me. I pray that someone will apply their intellect to that task, because I think it might save a lot of lives.

🙏 The freshman year in college is such a transitional year, and parents should be "kept in the loop" regarding anything that has to do with their grades. IMO Perhaps, in time, your U.S. Senators/ U.S. Representative should propose a bill on this. 🙏

Please get your U.S. Senators and U.S. Representatives for your state aware of this amazing plan! Freshman college students need to have more understanding during their transition from high school to college, especially with a student with any disability. IMO May Hashem always be close!

Please get your U.S. Senators and U.S. Representatives for your state aware of this amazing plan! Freshman college students need to have more understanding during their transition from high school to college, especially with a student with any disability. IMO May Hashem always be close!

Wishing you peace in the midst of such a devastating loss. Young people can use as many supports and safety nets as we can provide. A "Manny Alert" would be a helpful tool, especially for those who can't reach out themselves.

Your words are powerful, heartfelt and I am sending my condolences for this enormous loss. I am in. I will join the band.

My sincere condolences on your and your family's loss. We are going through similar pain - my 16yo son left us two weeks ago. His phone also knew.

😭

I posted this to the Facebook page for CU parents. I extend my heartfelt sympathy to Manny Pargman's parents, siblings and loved ones. I found the videos heartbreaking and potentially life-saving for other at-risk students. I think that Manny's father's suggestion that first semester first-year students receive a one-time use "Manny Card" to override professor's grading policies is an excellent idea--and I say this as someone who was a professor of English for many years. Even if the use of the card is limited to circumstances that reflect reasonable or understandable confusion on the student's part, or technical difficulties, etc., I think it would help incoming freshman. Likewise, I think that the Office of Disabilities must be given the flexibility to intervene for students who face difficulties with their professors, especially first-year students--despite any formalities that the student might have overlooked; watch the video to understand. The father demands that the Office of Disabilities recognize the higher risk for suicide among students with learning disabilities and rightfully suggests that this alone should be grounds enough for this kind of advocacy. I also really support his suggestion that repeated absences should trigger a response of concern, a thorough well-being check. The father notes that parents of students who are no longer minors are legally and bureaucratically blocked from obtaining information about their student and narrates the heartbreaking and utterly blind response he received when he called to report his concern for his child after parents' weekend. Only the university has pieces of puzzle, he says. I urge us all to think about policies and practices that would allow parents to be alerted to signs of trouble. Finally, he notes that his family has not received a phone call from the university's president and tells us that he learned that there have been 4 suicides this past semester only from a local detective. This lack of outreach from the university is shocking and unforgivable, in my eyes. Likewise, if, as my daughter has reported, the student community has not been made aware of these tragic deaths by the university and if the university has not offered counseling and support, then that is something more to question at CU Boulder, where change on this front is desperately needed. We, as parents, should find ways to organize and demand change in support of the Pargman family and in memory of Manny. I would be happy to help in any way--and perhaps especially with writing anything. I'm sure there are lawyers, mental health professionals and others here who can also be helpful. Also, we should look at the resources available. Are there schools that do a better job helping students in distress? How do they do that?

This is absolutely heartbreaking. My condolences to you and your family. My son will most likely go to CU Boulder. We are still deciding. I am in the CU Boulder parents group, we live only 20 minutes away, yet I had no idea there were 4 suicides this semester alone. I heard of one!! I'm appalled by the Universities lack of response to the parents. Heartbreaking 💔. I am so sorry for your loss.

My deepest condolences to you and your family. I have heard so many positive things about your sweet son, Manny. I am so sorry. Your suggestions are spot on. I support you, your mission, and Manny's Band.

My heart is breaking for Manny and all his family and friends! You make a very important point!

Powerful presentation on such a critical topic. So many excellent points about how friends and others can help. I myself have had several people share with me that if it were not for me they would have taken their lives. I say this in a humble way, and for no other reason. At the time I had no idea they were in that dark of an area but I did realize they were struggling with some challenges related to their work situation, which spilled over in to their personal life. It really touched me at my core for I didn't know that and I as well thought of the what if's. I was thankful they got past this awful time in their lives. Sometimes there are no ways of really knowing what anyone is struggling with but my point is that offering help, listening, being there, encouragement, sharing perspective, helping to get other resources...just one thing, or all of those things, are so important. I admire the family and their dedication to help others and to bring the topic to the forefront at University. I can tell they are an amazing family. My heart is touched by this story. We as family, friends, and community members must stay attentive to the challenges young people are facing and stay on guard for subtle changes to be there for them.

I pray the spiritual battle that is after each and every one of our souls would be illuminated in this hour. Suicide and anxiety are at an all time high and most people aren't even aware of the spiritual influence that whispers the thoughts that many young and old people cannot cast down. Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will.

I'm so sorry for your loss and so grateful for your generosity in making this video.

My heart goes out to you Ben and your family on this tragic loss. Making positive changes like you are suggesting are great ideas. Makes me want to put the Bark app on my grandchildren’s phones. -Mimi Molina Garcia

Baruch Dayan haemet. Sharing in your sorrow, and willing to help with your mission.

Powerful and meaningful change must be enacted. A bipartisan commission should be established and federal funding can be leveraged to support technology companies and universities. I’m already talking to my congresswoman🙏🏼

Amen-same issues at so many universities.