Відео

Thank you.. This may be a short and to the point video, but thank you. Your video hit home and made me realize a mistake both of us didn't realize we are doing to each other..

I feel like I provided her (37 yo) a lot of emotional safety. And she said I was attractive and well intentioned but that she's a "bougie bitch" and cannot feel feminine if she has to work and self identifies as a "lady of leisure". What would you suggest I do?

Reading the comments by men, I’m surprised by why knowing what they know and living the experience at least once, men remarry. Are you guys sadistic?

Bullshit

Happy wife school and Laura doyals stuff teaches women to stop being follish and disrespectful. Only if a woman is a fool she still won't get it and there are a lot of foolish women who lack the ability to be accountable for their own foolish words and actions. Foolish women destroy their own homes no matter what their man is or.isnt doing

Respectfully disagree. Women hate the boring predictable guy with a steady job who she knows will always be there for her. They get bored with that and think he is low value because he doesn’t cheat on her. I wish you were right, but that is not how a woman’s mind works.

This was the video I needed today thank.

I reference Maslow‘s hierarchy of needs In my relationship all the time. I’m trying to get to 3 but husband is stuck at 2. I recently realized he not happy with his job. He can’t connect with me emotionally until he gets a more security and safety in a less demanding job.

How does leaving a toilet seat up make someone feel unsafe.

Why is this always one way

Western wives*

Wrong! Wrong! If your wife doesn't feel safe just because you left a light on or toilet sit up after a long fucking day at work to bring food on the table, it means you habe the wrong person in your life.

This describes the issue in my relationship so well. I don't understand why this is such a hard concept for people to understand and integrate into their relationship.

It's not your job as a man to make a woman happy. That is her internal issues with herself. Do the work and find a partner that gets it.

My ex broke up with me because of my "chaos" and my never ending requests. In my healing journey I came across with this video and it surprises me to see how many men feel the same. What I can tell you is that we get tired to ask the same thing over and over again and we lose sight of what we really want, to feel understood and loved by you. If you still love your partner and want to work things out, I recommend you reading "Nonviolent communication" by Marshall Rosenberg. It has helped me a lot to see that my feelings were getting in the way and that I wasn't truly communicating my needs in a healthy way. Also, I've understand that we also need to hear the needs of our partner excluding the feelings. I hope is not late for you to fight for your relationship and see that both of you need to relearn how to communicate.

100% Absolutely 💯 thank you! This is exactly what I’m feeling

I think we need to Talk about this dude's haircut 😂

Brutal honesty is what the men dealing with this issue need before they are too old and waste too much of their lives… Talk to them about it. If they don’t change then leave your wife. That is a form of abuse. Make sure you keep records of your conversation and how she reacts and acts. You can use this in court after you divorce her for the emotional abuse. Trust me. Women like this will try to ruin you during divorce so make sure you keep records of how she treats you, the insults, the belittling, everything. Men. We deserve to live a happy life. I left my abusive wife, found an online job and now live my dream life traveling Southeast Asia while working online. I live in a tropical paradise and live like a king. Life is amazing but you gotta take that first step. Life is short and it’s a gift. Get out there and live it my brothers!!!

I've watched countless videos now on UA-cam to try and figure out what is going wrong with my relationship with my wife and I. This is spot on. Thank you so much.

So when your partner comes at you over something she should not be mad at you about you are just supposed to keep your mouth shut and not tell them that you aren't the problem, and that builds trust in the relationship? I feel like I can only do that if I'm getting trim on the side, but if it helps, I always said I'd do anything for my marriage.

Ya man, she is always collecting evidence. I can’t do anything without getting in trouble.. there is always something I didn’t do right, take tonight… I went into town got dinner and her special coffees, and a hundred dollar gift, she went nuts calling disgusting names and swearing cause she never got to pick out the gift herself, it’s not her birthday or a special day, I was just lookin to make her smile. I love that girl but I’m just trash to her

The difficult part thats hard to accept here is that we should validate their feelings. I can understand how they might feel that you dont care about them if you dont do these things. But as a man, i understand and can change my self talk if I were to think those thoughts. I have the ability to filter what is bothering me and reframe it before it comes out of my mouth. For example. My wife doesnt love me because she doesnt show conpassion for how hard I work for her and our family... Corrected thought... Thats not true. Shes just caught up in what shes got going on and shes not aware of what im struggling with because i havent voiced it. Thoughts arent reality. Your thoughts make your feelings. To validate incorrect thoughts is to reduce someone ability to handle them appropriately. I want to empower my wife to dominate her thinking by choosing the good thoughts and rejecting bad ones.

you are so smart - explains a lot in all relationships

I understand and respect your "thesis" that we should listen to the "worry" of our spouse and address it consciously---Or it builds over YEARS and erodes the SAFETY element of the relationship. That is fine ---if the requests come from a sane mind with good intentions and motivations. HOWEVER, if the spouse has their own emotional issues---I call it "itchy skin" ---if they have emotional issues and the constant criticizing, unhappiness, etc is their fruitless attempt to force me to provide that feeling of WORTH----they are out of luck! I think you are correct if you are dealing with a mentally healthy individual. However, if your spouse has "issues" that she attempts to solve by projecting "blame" onto her partner. FAILURE.

I lived in marriage hell for 15 years before leaving, but through that terrible experience I learned everything I know and now I help men to succeed in their marriage and in life. I'm glad I went through that awful experience because it made me the man I am

This video is proof of why UA-cam should've never removed the downvote number. This advice is horrible.

This guy does not get it. Women are naturally agents of chaos. They cannot help it. They are like children . This ancient truth is a key theme in the Adam & Eve parable/allegory. That is not a religious statement. I’m saying this has been known by man for millenia. Modern man has forgotten.

Hope none of you have daughters that will someday be wives

My husband is never happy with any person or any thing. Yells at total strangers on the rd, his kids, perceived events that haven’t even happened yet. He’s never wrong or accepts responsibility. If you do it- it’s wrong. If he does it- he laughs. Ugh

Learn about narcissism.

Don’t be a bitch and at least stand up for yourself once in awhile, if she makes you have to sit in your place and take her criticism she damn well better hear what you have to say

Without God as the center of your marriage and you’re both striving to get one another to heaven then it becomes a competition of who can do more and you become bitter and resentful . Marriage you did to your selfishness for the sake of the other in order that you can make it to heaven with one another . God is the center or else you set each other up to be one another’s god to make each other happy. Nothing outside of God will fill the void many are desperately longing for, not even a spouse can fill this void

Nothing you do will make a woman happy

Hi Matthew, after reading a few comments from other viewers, it seems like many men dont think they have anything to do with their wives unhappiness. Also, as if its not their responsibility to deal or help their wives. I know for a fact that human beings are also mental beings. We all have a degree of maturity and development about how to deal with life. A man can be as fragile in his mind as when he slits his wrists to avoid military duty (i've witnessed this during my tour). I also know that unhappiness is subjective and my wife may be unhappy about her appearance, etc. Seriously though, a husband marries his wife to give all he can give even if it hurts because he loves her.

Hi Matthew, thank you for this video! I've honestly never considered "safety and trust" is why my wife feels unhappy. I make plenty of money and am reliable and do everything a husband should do for his family but your video means i need to acknowledge her concerns (especially because she was in a bad relationship with an alcoholic, womanizing brute). Many times i am totaly fabergasted as to why she complains about the smallest thing - a label on a soup can isnt facing outward?? Really? Well, now if i try to understand her now, you are saying she needs to feel like i value her concerns , about even the smallest thing. Well, i will do my best to do this and will come back latter to share the results! Hopefully you have enlightened me to listen to her concerns and to stop always disagreeing or saying i didnt do anything wrong.

Now I know why I hate my wife. Unreliable, helpless.

The Delusion is strong in this one!

Nailed it!

Simp harder

I’m a woman, here trying to learn like I do consistently. I am normally/generally a happy person. What makes me unhappy, is NOT being heard. I’m very direct with my husband about what I need to be happy and I’m not asking for anything miraculous. I need help getting the house picked up, dinner mess cleaned up, and kids in bed at a decent hour so we have some time together before bed. It’s been 3-5 years of my husband being rude and disrespectful to me over the lack of sex in our relationship, while simultaneously doing the absolute minimum in our home and life and expecting me to be happy regardless. I’ve been extremely patient and reminded him (nicely) very often that we would have more time together if he would help me just a little bit each night with getting the kids in bed. (Before it gets late) he really lacks discipline and motivation and blames me for it. I can only take so much pressure. We have 5 kids. Life is crazy. I’m drowning with a rare genetic disorder, health issues, and was homeschooling our kids for 10 years up until recently. I want to feel like we are a team. I’m not in the mood when he’s passed out on the couch shortly after he gets home from work and I am struggling with our littles and older kids to do all the things before they need to be in bed for school the next day.

Many American women have a problem with self love, and self fulfillment. They look for these things externally, and expect these external things to fill the internal void. Some were molested at a young age, some have a history of violence or devaluation in their intimate relationships. And of course pop culture and the media never stop distorting women's views on who they "should" be. All these things contribute to a loss of ability to self love. And I'm talking about REAL self love. Not narcissism. I believe that this ability can be regained, and regained easily by a sort of brain rewiring...hitting the "factory reset" button, if you will, allowing a jumpstart on transformative growth that can be put into an automatic perpetual state of progress. And I believe scientists and doctors have found the correct treatment with which to do this.😮

we have a lack of men and women following Gods plan.. thats the root of all the problems. no psychology is going to help without a solid foundation. its like the bible says building a house on sand will not stand. the sand is like the worldly advice on how a marriage should work. Gods plan is the solid foundation.

why is my husband waiting around every corner of the the house every time i move around the house. i go to the bathroom, he ls standing in view righ when i come out looking at me as i come out, i go in the kitchen, he suddenly has the urge to pace back and forth passing by me the entire time im cooking dinner. i go outside, hes watching me through the window of the door, i go talk to our daughter and hes right there listening, i talk to my son, he makes his way and just stares at us talking. i stay in the room to avoid that, hell come in without paying any attention to anything im doing and interrupt me with no regards. doesnt observe if im watching tv and its not on a commercial, as i intently stare at tv to let him know im watching something interesting, and if im texting or typing, he acts like a 5 year old and atarts talking to me while im doing something. then when i am doing absolutely nothing, he just comes in the room and stares at me in the dark, doesnt say a word, expecting mento react. its just draining. i feel so gaslighted and micromanaged or whatever all this is. i wonder why im not happy. he never seems

This is soooo on point.

Its 2024, chicks are safe!

In order to not be surprised, its very very very simple, temper your expectations. Keep your expectations low and you will never be dissapointed, if you keep demanding and expecting too much from your partner because you have an ideal version of them in your head, of course you will be constantly surprised... Women in particular suck at this, its always prince charming sadly. Worse even when they think the things they do like simply existing and being with you, grants them right of expecting things of you that they themselves do not do...

Here is the issue, if the women doesn't feel safe, her reaction to withhold sex, love, and be mean, will then make the man feel unsafe. Also most women feel unsafe because they project their mental issues on their men.

Insecurities around Inadequacies will make a man feel defeated but free yourself boys. Being inadequate is like showing up to a tennis match with no arms. But you are not incapable it may just not be in your wheel house to make emotional safe spaces for others. That I believe it is a woman's power. We know how to do it so much better than men so I think the couples should decide who is gonna do that work and then trust that person to hold that space and support them to hold it.

The comments are revealing to how far men are from understanding the basics of loving relationships. There is a woman on UA-cam saying that men have no capacity for love. I am looking for the discrepancies.

My husband doesn't sit on the same furniture as me. The TV is his girlfriend. Its HORRIBLE