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Stephanie Rigg | On Attachment
Australia
Приєднався 21 чер 2022
Stephanie Rigg is a relationship coach and teacher, and host of the top-ranked podcast, On Attachment.
3 Life Lessons I Wish I'd Learned Earlier | On Attachment | Ep 149
In this episode, I'm sharing three life lessons that I wish I'd learned sooner. These are around the theme of self-awareness, personal responsibility and consciously creating the life that we want for ourselves.
Last chance to join The Secure Self Challenge! www.stephanierigg.com/secure-self-challenge
Sign up for the 28-day Secure Self Challenge! www.stephanierigg.com/secure-self-challenge
Kicking off 29 July 2024.
CHAPTERS
00:00 Introduction
01:00 Life Lesson 1: Importance of Self-Care
03:00 Life Lesson 2: Embracing Failure
05:00 Life Lesson 3: Building Strong Relationships
07:00 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
Thanks for watching x
Last chance to join The Secure Self Challenge! www.stephanierigg.com/secure-self-challenge
Sign up for the 28-day Secure Self Challenge! www.stephanierigg.com/secure-self-challenge
Kicking off 29 July 2024.
CHAPTERS
00:00 Introduction
01:00 Life Lesson 1: Importance of Self-Care
03:00 Life Lesson 2: Embracing Failure
05:00 Life Lesson 3: Building Strong Relationships
07:00 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
Thanks for watching x
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Відео
How Resentment Impacts Our Relationships | On Attachment | Ep 148
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In today's episode, we're tackling the pervasive issue of resentment in relationships. We explore why resentment occurs, its impact on relationships, and how to address and resolve these feelings. We cover: * what resentment signals to us about ourselves * why certain people are more prone to resentment * the link between resentment and poor boundaries, suppression of needs and avoiding conflic...
5 Traits to Look For in a Partner | On Attachment | Ep 147
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In this episode, we're unpacking five traits that everybody should be looking for in a prospective partner. It's so easy when dating to become swept up in a connection and inadvertently overlook some of the fundamental attributes we should all be seeking in a relationship. The five traits we discuss in this episode are: - emotional self-awareness - integrity and trustworthiness - consistency, r...
What to do when they say they love you, BUT they're not ready for a relationship | #attachment
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In this video, I’m addressing a challenging and often confusing situation: when someone tells you they love you but they’re not ready for a relationship. Have you ever heard phrases like “I’m just not a relationship person,” “I’m too messed up to be in a relationship,” or “I love you, but I can’t commit right now”? If so, you know how incredibly frustrating and painful it can be, especially if ...
3 Fights EVERY Anxious Avoidant Couple Has Had | On Attachment | Ep 145
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In this episode, I'm unpacking three common pain points that virtually all anxious-avoidant couples will encounter at some point in their relationship. We'll talk about why these particular fights are so common, and what they're really about - so you can approach them next time with more empathy and understanding, and avoid the disconnection and hurt that comes with the typical anxious-avoidant...
Why You Struggle to Let Go (Even If They Were Bad For You) | On Attachment | Ep 144
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Why You Struggle to Let Go After a Break-Up 💔 In today’s episode, I’m sharing thoughts on why you might struggle to let go of someone after a break-up, even when you know they were “bad” for you. This is especially common for those with anxious attachment, feeling torn between what’s best for you and what your body and attachment system urge you to do. TOPICS COVERED: • Managing expectations af...
Navigating Conflicting Needs for Togetherness & Separateness in Anxious-Avoidant Relationships
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In this episode, we're exploring the tension between the conflicting needs for time together and time apart that can so often become a source of friction in anxious-avoidant dynamics. Specifically, I'm sharing a simple but very effective tip that will both reduce separation anxiety for the anxious partner, and increase the avoidant partner's comfort with time spent together, creating a win-win ...
5 Signs You Struggle With Receiving | On Attachment | Ep 142
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In this episode, we're talking all about receiving. For many of us, being the giver in our relationships is our comfort zone - which can lead to imbalances, unmet needs, and resentment. But while we may bemoan the lack of reciprocity in our relationships, there is a vulnerability to receiving that many of us are uncomfortable with. We cover: - the tendency to consistently end up in imbalanced r...
Is it wrong to hope my partner will change? | On Attachment | Ep 141
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In this recent episode, I'm sharing some thoughts on the listener question of "Is it wrong to hope my partner will change?" Wanting to change a partner is something most of us will relate to in one form or another, but it's essential that we understand where this urge is coming from and what it's trying to tell us about ourselves, our partner, and the relationship. Some of the things we cover: ...
"Is it wrong to hope my partner will change?"
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"Is it wrong to hope my partner will change?"
Building Self-Worth & a Secure Dating Mindset with Dr. Morgan Anderson | On Attachment | Ep 129
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Building Self-Worth & a Secure Dating Mindset with Dr. Morgan Anderson | On Attachment | Ep 129
What to Do When A Partner Pulls Away | On Attachment | Ep 138
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What to Do When A Partner Pulls Away | On Attachment | Ep 138
The Art of Secure Relating with Stan Tatkin | On Attachment | Guest Series | Ep 87
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The Art of Secure Relating with Stan Tatkin | On Attachment | Guest Series | Ep 87
Self-Soothing for Anxious Attachment | On Attachment | Ep 137
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Self-Soothing for Anxious Attachment | On Attachment | Ep 137
From Conflict to Connection with James "Fish" Gill | On Attachment | Ep 134
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From Conflict to Connection with James "Fish" Gill | On Attachment | Ep 134
Should We Get Back with an Ex Who Won't Acknowledge Faults?
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Should We Get Back with an Ex Who Won't Acknowledge Faults?
How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others | The Secure Self | On Attachment | Ep 127
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How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others | The Secure Self | On Attachment | Ep 127
Cultivating Secure Love with Julie Mennano ( @thesecurerelationship ) | On Attachment | Ep 132
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Cultivating Secure Love with Julie Mennano ( @thesecurerelationship ) | On Attachment | Ep 132
Thinking of Getting Back with an Ex | On Attachment | Ep 131
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Thinking of Getting Back with an Ex | On Attachment | Ep 131
How Self Trust Builds Trust With Others | On Attachment | Ep 130 #secureattachment #attachmentstyle
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How Self Trust Builds Trust With Others | On Attachment | Ep 130 #secureattachment #attachmentstyle
Why Self Respect is SO Important Towards Secure Attachment | On Attachment | Ep 130
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Why Self Respect is SO Important Towards Secure Attachment | On Attachment | Ep 130
What True Self Care Looks Like For a Secure Attachment | Clip from On Attachment | Ep 130
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What True Self Care Looks Like For a Secure Attachment | Clip from On Attachment | Ep 130
Why You Need To Develop Self Compassion for a Secure Attachment | On Attachment | Ep 130 #secure
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Why You Need To Develop Self Compassion for a Secure Attachment | On Attachment | Ep 130 #secure
The Pillars of a Healthy Relationship with Self | On Attachment | Ep 130
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The Pillars of a Healthy Relationship with Self | On Attachment | Ep 130
Using Curiosity and Objectivity During Conflict | Clip From On Attachment | Ep 128 #attachment
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Using Curiosity and Objectivity During Conflict | Clip From On Attachment | Ep 128 #attachment
Why Avoidant Folks May Struggle with a Partner's Emotionality | On Attachment | Ep 128
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Why Avoidant Folks May Struggle with a Partner's Emotionality | On Attachment | Ep 128
Why Avoidant Partners Struggle with Defensiveness | On Attachment | Ep 128
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Why Avoidant Partners Struggle with Defensiveness | On Attachment | Ep 128
5 Things Secure Couples Do Well | FULL EPISODE | On Attachment | Ep 115
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5 Things Secure Couples Do Well | FULL EPISODE | On Attachment | Ep 115
The Importance of Meaningful Repair to Secure Relationships | From Episode 115 | On Attachment |
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The Importance of Meaningful Repair to Secure Relationships | From Episode 115 | On Attachment |
How Secure Couples Balance Togetherness & Separateness | Clip from Ep 115 | On Attachment
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How Secure Couples Balance Togetherness & Separateness | Clip from Ep 115 | On Attachment
Thanks for watching. If this resonates with you, I would love to hear about it in the comments x
Thank you so much for watching and listening. I would love to hear your feedback and experiences in the comments x
I have almost listened to every one of your episodes on Spotify. That's a lot of listening. We all have healing to do, and it's so good to understand yourself and then try to improve. Understsnding and effective communication rock. Your podcasts have been so good for me, so helpful. Thank you so much.
That IS a lot of listening! Thank you for the support, so glad to be able to help you on your journey 🤍
Awesome stuff!
❤
Thank you so much for all of your support. As always, I would love to hear your thoughts and experience in the comments below x
This was very eye opening. I have always known that I struggled with receiving , because I feel like i am not worthy of any help, love, and even pleasure.
Thank you! Glad it was helpful for you
These are so specific to what I have got going on right now.. do you have a live stream on my relationship? Haha crazy, thanks for the video really helps!
Yes I do! Well I am glad it is helping during this time x
A lot of people with adult ADHD struggle with break ups
Do you have a similar video on how to support an anxious partner?
Not a video but I do have a podcast episode! open.spotify.com/episode/5UbvDisd8oOcmXmt8Pqha1?si=yTDVf8FrQjiy9U5x3PEd-A
@@stephanierigg Thanks a lot Stephanie for sharing. What you are doing is really really helpful.
Thank you for this. Kindly consider doing a video on limerence.
Would love a video on limerence
Excuse the video quality in this episode, an unknown recording error which we haven't been able to resolve. Feel free to leave a comment if this topic resonates with you x
Thank you so much for watching. I would love to hear you share your experience with receiving in the comments x
Whoa. I just learned so much. Thank you for this conversation.
So glad to hear that, thank you for watching! 🤍
This is very helpful!
Glad you think so!
I know how it goes for me. Today on my way to work I called my gf (at the time) and told her that out of respect for myself I had to lay down boundaries around being stonewalled. She stone walked me and hung up soon after. Later that evening I did call it off and take my belongings but as an anxiously attached person. The moment I got ignored again and then locked out.. well that was the moment my abandonment trauma kicked in and I felt triggered and pleaded. It was an ugly site. Really I don’t think it could’ve gone worse, but sometimes we don’t have the luxury of being compassionate with others if for whatever reasons they can’t communicate with us.
Thank you so much for sharing, just watched part 1 and i immediately felt like you were caring, compassionate, validating but also giving specific tips. <3
You are so welcome. Thanks so much for the comment, appreciate it :)
This is an amazing video, it should have SO many more views. Thank you for sharing :)
Glad you enjoyed it! We will get there eventually :)
I'm all having compassion for the other side and taking some comfort in knowing that their reaction isn't entirely about you, but I'd be wary of encouraging people who are probably already significantly abandoning their boundaries to show more understanding.
I really appreciate the break down of the cause of this attachment style - allows us compassion via understanding why it may have developed x
Never interested in people who are disinterested in me
A study by the Department of Industrial Engineering and Management, Ariel University, Ariel, Israel shows that both avoidant and anxious people (insecure attachment style) display heightened neural sensitivity and increased emotional reactivity to negative feedback, reflecting their vigilance for threats. In contrast, secure people show more regulated neural responses and emotional resilience, facilitated by enhanced connectivity in key brain regions associated with effective emotion regulation. Moreover, secure people exhibit enhanced functional connectivity in key brain areas tied to emotional regulation, such as the dorsolateral and ventromedial prefrontal cortex, facilitating their ability to maintain more stable emotional responses. Source : Inon Zuckerman, Ilan Laufer, Dor Mizrahi, Attachment style, emotional feedback, and neural processing: investigating the influence of attachment on the P200 and P400 components of event-related potentials, the Department of Industrial Engineering and Management, Ariel University, Ariel, Israel
Thanks so much for your work Stephanie. I was in a long term heavily codependent relationship for 5 years. One night I had a revelatory experience which I call my "night of long sighs". This experience is in part due to your education and identifying patterns. So thank you for helping me love myself
Thanks so much for your support and I am glad that this can help in some way :)
are you talking about a million and 1 variations or just the one YOU are dealing with right now? Are you trying to give advice or are you just talking to yourself?
This is a clip from a podcast episode. You can find the link for the full length episode in the description of the clip :)
Thank you for your video it really helps alot. I am currently in a relationship of 9 jears and my girlfriend is pulling away and wants space and time to think. Everything i say if we speak she picks something out of it and makes it negative or says that she doesn't feel okay with it. And all i am doing is expessing my needs. I am really, as you say, running in overdrive and really trying to fix the situation. It is really stressful for me as an anxious attached person. I am trying to become more secure attached. It is not the first time this happened.
While I can't give advice on your personal experience, I am glad this video helps you in some way :)
Thank you so much for watching. Feel free to share your own experiences in the comments :)
Just found your channel, Stephanie. I enjoyed listening to this conversation and will get into your other videos. You have a great, soothing speaking voice.
Thank you so much!
Thank you so much for watching this episode of On Attachment. Please feel free to share your own experiences about self-soothing x
Excellent 👍
This is a clip from a recent episode of On Attachment exploring whether or not you should get back with an ex. You can find the link in the description for the full episode. As always, would love to hear your thoughts and experiences around this topic x
Thank you so much ❤
You're welcome 😊
Thanks so much for tuning into this episode. The meditation and other free resources mentioned during this episode can be found here on my website: www.stephanierigg.com/freebies Thanks again for watching x
We need Julie’s book on parenting!!!
We certainly do!
In the first three minutes I had this OMG impression. Now I have her book on my Amazon shopping cart 😂 thank you!
Hope you like it! She is brilliant
So enlightening this conversation. Thanks for sharing
Our pleasure! Julie is wonderful and worth following
Loving your videos Steph - such a great isight :)
So glad!
I dont know how to respect myself. ive lost 5 relationships in 5 yrs n somehow im stuck in this vicious loop of needy clingy behaviour. Help!😢
Choosing to trust instead of waiting to feel it is such a new and inspiring concept to me, thank you greatly for this tid bit of advice ♥️ i will keep it with me and i think it will be extremely helpful for me.
You're so welcome! I am glad to see it landed with you :)
My boss called me a loser, when she was onstage a hypnotist show. See, the hypnotist asked the participants to explain a complex, arguable philosophy they each have, and my boss talked about dignity and diligence. She said she didn't believe hard work always make people smart or noble. She used my name as an example. She talked about how I was a slow learner at work, got things mixed up, and couldn't seem to do anything right alone. How she didn't think I could manage one-person shifts without someone to guide me. Especially after the time I set a wedding reception with black linens, not white, the official/usual color (though in my defense, black linens were used for most other events, so thus it was a natural psychological error.) She mentioned how I didn't have a driver's license, graduated from a small charter school instead of the local public high school, and still lived at home with my mom in my late twenties. And that I graduated high school at 20; I once revealed this to her and a coworker when, long story short, talking about academic norms. The hypnotist, who seemed surprised by her comments, said, "So just to clarify, you don't think he has much honor or dignity in him, even despite his work dedication? That he's a dimwit and a loser?" And to my dismay, my boss said, "Basically. I think he's basically a loser, for a guy who has a job. He's still catering after graduating from college. That might be what's best for him. He should have a career that matches his degree by now. I don't know if he will find one. He's just not very skillful or sharp." And I did graduate from college, three years ago. It just took a while to find a good career, and the hiring process is long. I know I'm a disabled late bloomer. Does that make me a loser?
That's your bosses opinion and their criticism. I wouldn't take that on board unless it's constructive criticism. You know what your successes are. No one has the right to tell you what your worth is unless they're willing to invest in you and show you something better that can uplift you.
@@krazykirl1129She was hypnotized of course, but the private opinion alone is immoral, right?
I enjoyed how gentle and relatable this was. The way you describe it makes it seem very doable and really expresses how gradual this process is. I appreciate you sharing this knowledge with us. I know it’s really broadened my perspective on how I can approach myself. I hope with the practice of these techniques, I can become a healthier version of me😊 thanks again!
This was so incredibly soothing. I was being super hard on myself and I really needed to hear this. Thank you.
You are so welcome! I'm so glad it helped
I am a fearful-avoidant, so I can be both clingy and avoidant.
I love your videos ❤
Thank you so much x
Excellent explanation 💯👍✅🌷
Thank you! 😃 Appreciate your comment
Thank you
You are most welcome
Even though the comments below do not really attest to that, I find you such a refreshing voice in the attachment debate. Personal growth is so daunting. Expecting your partner to unilaterally change and assuming you are what you are is an understandable knee-jerk response (I have it too), but a surefire way to drive your loved one on the defense. Imagine being labeled an 'avoidant' and then being invited into a community that vilifies you at every turn and actively coaxes your counterpart just to find someone secure (as I was aghast to read in Attached). I really understand it is taxing to be around a person like me, I really do.
I really appreciate the comment, and the understanding of a very nuanced conversation. I am glad you find the work refreshing