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@stephyg20 Your welcome! Thanks so much for sharing, and I'm so glad you've found the book and our call to be helpful. I'm glad you're here 🙏🏻❤

@DF-dx4sj You're welcome! I'm happy you're here, and I'm so glad you found it helpful. ❤

Thanks for your feedback! 🙏🏻

@IceKateByMoonlight Yes! So true--even the most chill parents snap sometimes. So glad to hear that this resonates, and that you instinctively knew to repair with your kids. Thanks for sharing 🙏🏻❤

Thanks for your interest, and so sorry you didn't find this before the webinar. I'll offer this again at some point, but I'm not yet certain of a date. I mostly post upcoming events and offerings here on YT, but also have a mailing list--as a reliable way to get notice to your inbox, if that's of interest. Also, I do have a recorded replay from 2022 when I offered this the first time--it's for sale on my website for $10CAD. I'll post links below for both of these, in case you're interested, but either way, I'm glad you're here! 🙂 Newsletter w/free parenting tips & upcoming events: colleenadrian.com/blog/ Webinar replay: colleenadrian.com/learn-to-work-with-your-triggers/ Video, Guided Practice to Calm Yourself When Stressed: ua-cam.com/video/9jMrzDVPcKU/v-deo.html

Thanks for your feedback. I'm so glad you're here! 🌷❤

@hannahazman Thanks for watching and for sharing your experience and a question. That sounds really hard, and I totally understand your need to step away sometimes to regulate your own emotions. Here are a few questions to consider as you look for a way to help your 3yo calm down with her father. Does your 3yo have a pretty strong bond with her father? Does he spend a bit of time playing with her, even when you're there? Could you try separating from her for a 2-3 minutes at a time, at a time when you're not needing "me-time", so that she can build up her ability to separate from you in shorter periods at first? That way she gets to experience you returning to her, before she gets to the point where she's intensely distressed. Lastly,, but very importantly, is father able to simply say empathetic things to her while she's upset--and rather than trying to *stop* her from being upset, can he trust that she'll stop when the emotion has run its course--and know that his job is more about being present with empathy (e.g., "aawww, it's so hard for you, isn't it, when Mom is away for a few minutes")? Sometimes we think that to soothe our child, we need to be able to stop their crying--but what they need even MORE than that, is for us to be present with them and ACCEPT their emotional expression, and trust that it will run its course and end when it's ready. I hope that makes sense. I also have a course you may be interested in--it's about helping kids to calm and regulate. I'll post the link below in case it's of interest.But either way, I wish you well! colleenadrian.com/calm-self-regulate-package/

@davehilljr.coaching Thanks for watching Dave and sharing your feedback. I'm glad it resonated 🙏🏻❤

That's always hard. And it's hard for me to say for sure without more information, but often that can be a sign of shame. Do you think that might be a possibility with your child? I'll post a link to an article I wrote a few months back (just in case this might be a fit for your situation), regarding kids who don't want to talk to parents after they've made a mistake--and some suggestions for what to do if you think they're having some shame. And a reminder that shame is a super painful feeling, for both parents and kids--it makes you want to *hide*--so if you think your child is experiencing shame, go gently with yourself and your child ❤ colleenadrian.com/raise-a-confident-child-prevent-shame-when-they-make-mistakes/

You're welcome, Thanks for listening! I'm glad you're here 🙏🏻🌷

You're so welcome ❤

Thanks for watching, and thank you for sharing your experience. All mammals have some similarities in their nervous systems, and specifically the parts of our nervous system that respond to connection and safety. I hear you about feeling guilty, and it can be super hard to be patient and stay regulated in difficult situations, even with our pets. I hope you can give yourself some grace, and know that doing some repair with your pet by showing affection can have a positive impact on your relationship. Good luck!

Yes, thanks for sharing. Connecting with our inner child, and all parts of ourselves really--so helpful for being understanding in different situations. Thank you 🌷❤

@kammynix5025 🙏🏻❤

Thanks for sharing. I'm glad you found this video on repairing--there is NO perfect--and repairing helps your kids learn to make amends when they lose their cool. I hope you've been able to offer yourself some grace and forgiveness ❤

@MayBlake_Channel Thanks for sharing your perspective on what it's like to be on the receiving end of this habit ❤ And welcome, so glad you're here!

You're welcome. Thanks for sharing, and I'm glad it was helpful.

@doawilshier9594 You're welcome! I'm so glad it's helpful. ❤

Thanks for your question @kevinfogarty5081 I think there's probably some contextual factors to consider. First, if tears are coming up for you, it may not be possible sometimes (in that moment) to change it? If that's the case, one important thing would be to make sure they know it's not their fault, nor is it their job to fix it. (E.g., using whatever words feel right for you, something like "I'm feeling sad right now, but I don't want you to worry about it. Sometimes grownups feel sad--it's not your fault, and you don't need to fix it. I can help myself feel better.") If it feels like some unprocessed emotions from your past are showing up, you could consider doing some work with a therapist on those. But I want to remind you--this isn't an either/or situation, in which you expect yourself to to *never* have unprocessed emotions from your past show up with your child. The parent-child relationship always triggers stuff from our past, and as long as we have some awareness of it, and do our best to own our own stuff, gain insight, and make changes when we can (with therapy if needed, and if possible)--it's just part of the journey.

@calamitypip1066 Oh! Great suggestion and well said! Thanks for sharing 🙏🏻❤

@@colleenadrian1590 I really appreciate you addressing the connection between somatic health and parenting.

@@calamitypip1066 My pleasure. I agree that it's a huge key for many parents, to help them make the changes they wish to make in their parenting ❤

I'm so glad you're here, and that you've found it helpful! Welcome! 🌷❤

I'm so glad it's helpful! Thanks for taking the time to let me know.🌟❤

@kevinfogarty5081 Kevin, Thanks so much for sharing. The experiences you had as a young child sound deeply painful, and it's totally understandable (as you'll know) that some rage is coming up for you. I'm touched by your insight and your taking responsibility to do your best to avoid subjecting your 3yo to what you're feeling inside. I hope you can find some compassion for yourself--I feel some compassion for you just hearing your story, and for that young part of you who was mocked and alone with your big feelings. If you think it might be of interest, I'll add a link below for an upcoming free webinar that I'm offering on May 23rd, it's called Learning to Work With Your Triggers. But either way, I wish you well on your parenting journey.

This free webinar is called Learn to Work with Your Triggers: Practices to Help Parents React Less and Stay Calmer and it's based on nervous system regulation. There's more info here: colleenadrian.com/learn-to-work-with-your-triggers-webinar/

@@colleenadrian1590thank you for this! ❤

@@colleenadrian1590❤

@@kevinfogarty5081 You're welcome!

@eljavanoostveen2962 You're so welcome. I' glad it resonates! 🌷❤

@stephyg20 That so much for sharing, and I really hear you. It can be so hard to feel compassionate with ourselves and give ourselves grace when we *know* in our heads how we want to respond, but those younger parts take over. That's so common when we didn't have much attunement or repair from a primary caregiver in childhood. It sounds like you've sought a lot of helpful learning and you're doing many of practices that are supporting your system to make shifts. Have you been interested in doing any somatic work, or body work that can help with updating old memory imprints? If you haven't done, and if that's something you feel drawn to, you might be interested in the free webinar I have coming up May 23rd, linked below the video, or, I still have a couple of complimentary sessions available in May for parents who'd like to explore an experience of having support to track their sensations (a somatic practice). I'll link info in another comment, in case it's of interest, but either way, thank you so much for sharing and I wish you well on your path of learning.

ua-cam.com/video/Dlfal2YyNOY/v-deo.html

@@colleenadrian1590 This is profound. Thank you Colleen. I so appreciate you taking the time to write such a personal thoughtful message. I would be very interested in this so I am checking it out now! Thank you again. :)

@@stephyg20 You're most welcome. I'm so glad it's helpful! ❤

@user-nw7kj2sz4y Hello, thank you for sharing. I hear you--we mean well in these situations, and it's painful when we realize that sometimes, despite our deep love for our kids,, we hurt them without meaning to. I'm appreciating your desire to make changes to support your daughter. I hope you can be gentle with yourself. It's not too late to make changes, it's never too late. I'll link a couple of resources below this.

This article has some good tips for parent practices that help build confidence: colleenadrian.com/how-to-help-kids-who-are-too-hard-on-themselves/

here's a playlist, on Raising Confident Kids and Self Esteem: ua-cam.com/play/PLuM29FTX_HQkrbwTrJJxawBkdUFm6ZaVF.html

I also have an online course in a self-study format, with lots of practical strategies. It's called Raising Confident Kids: Help Your Child Develop Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence 👉🏻 colleenadrian.com/raising-confident-kids-course-eg/

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@calamitypip1066 I'm so glad it resonates! Thanks for sharing. 🌷❤

I'm so glad it was helpful @jennifergrimes5401! Repair is so valuable. There is no perfect ❤❤

@AmaranthineIntrigue Thanks so much for your feedback! I totally agree--it can be so cool to watch their response as they struggle, and then celebrate their accomplishment, even if they needed a little help. 😍 With regard to the "speaker sound halfway through the video", I've listened through the whole video (again) and I'm not hearing it. I'm wondering what it is, or if others are hearing it as well? Thanks for letting me know. I'll stay posted!

3:32 Maybe it is your hands tapping the table? It is loud when listening through a speaker system.

@@AmaranthineIntrigue Thanks for letting me know! I've listened again (not through a speaker system) and I have no idea of what it is. I can just barely hear it, but I'll absolutely be mindful and careful about that in future. I know exactly what you mean about it startling or agitating one's nervous system. 🙏🏻❤

@katadventures22 I love this Kat! Safely explore their edges, especially in physical activities during childhood and teen years--so vital for confidence, nervous system development and overall development as a human. Thank you! 🙏🏻❤

@@colleenadrian1590 You're so welcome, Colleen!

@GildedButterfly Thanks for letting me know, I'm so glad it's helpful! 🌷❤

@tierax8992 Thanks for sharing, and I hope you know you're not alone. We *all* make that mistake sometimes--parenting + adult responsibilities is a lot! There's no perfect, and repairing with them is so valuable ❤ (did you find the link to my video for how to repair, below?)

@tonimt1712 Hi Toni, so glad to hear it! Let's do the first one, and see if it's what you're expecting, and then if you'd like, we can schedule another one. I look forward to our session! 🌹😊

@yazhinividhya Thank you for sharing, and I'm sorry it's so hard. Parenting is hard and it takes time to learn new habits. I hope you have some support, and can be gentle with yourself as you learn.

@simplybradley984 I think it can depend somewhat on the person--in that learning about *your own* body--what triggers you, what soothes your system--is somewhat individual. And it helps to have supportive people in your life who you can co-regulate with. Having said that, there are many "general" practices and lifestyle habits that can help regulate and soothe the nervous system as well.

@@colleenadrian1590 I see. What are some of those "general" practises?

@@simplybradley984 If you do a search online for somatic practices to calm the nervous system--you'll find lots online. I have one video on orienting, which I'll link below this. I also highly recommend Irene Lyon's UA-cam Channel--she has LOTS of free content, and also some paid programs which I can recommend. If you're looking to do some 1:1 somatic therapy, that can be really helpful for helping you learn some practices for attuning to your body and getting more familiar with what triggers you (and noticing it earlier) and what calms or soothes your system. I offer Relational Somatic Therapy as well.

@@simplybradley984 ua-cam.com/video/9jMrzDVPcKU/v-deo.html

@@colleenadrian1590 Right okay, that helpful. Thanks a lot Colleen

Thanks so much for watching, and I'm glad the content resonates and aligns with you and your work! 🙏🏻😊

@ThriveLiving Carolanne, thanks for your feedback. I'm glad you find my videos helpful 🙏🏻❤

@Lynds-kw2pr Thanks for sharing your experience and feedback. I'm so glad you find my videos helpful. It sounds like you've found some good support in your circle of security course for parents. And yes, repair helps a lot. Remember--there is no perfect. The (inner critic) voice inside your head would have you believe that you *should* be able to prevent ever losing your patience or saying something you regret, but that's not true. And, when you repair, your child learns from your example that it's okay to make mistakes and then repair. It shows her that *real* relationships have a love that lasts through conflict and repair. Wishing you well 🌷❤

You're welcome 🌷❤

@mysticm1543 Yes, I believe it applies to most or all kids. Depending on your specific situation, you might have to tweak some strategies, but generally all kids respond well to the parent strategies that focus on relationship and connection. And kids love to do well when they can--sometimes we have to do a little learning ourselves to break things down into small enough baby steps that they can make progress. Best wishes to you! ❤

@calamitypip1066 I'm so glad it's helpful! Thanks for sharing 🙏🏻❤

@tonimt1712 Thanks for letting me know. Gentle attunement to yourself, with compassion--by noticing the body sensations, and staying present with them, even if it's just for half a minute--while also noticing something in your environment that feels safe. It seems paradoxical, but when you try to stop the response by changing your behavior, without tending to your body sensations and soothing yourself, it typically doesn't work. If it's fear and panic, think of it this way--there's some fight/flight response occurring in your nervous system, and it needs some attention and some soothing. I hope that helps. If you want to know more about how to do this-- I have a "Working with your Triggers" free workshop coming up in April, date TBA soon, and if you'd like to get notice of the date when I schedule it, you can hop over to my website and sign up for my newsletter at the link below. OR, if you're subscribed here on YT, I'll do my best to do a video here on my channel to let people know it's coming up.

colleenadrian.com/blog/

@@colleenadrian1590 thank you!

@silverq21 I'm so glad it's helpful! Yes, even as adults, it doesn't feel very good to get unsolicited advice. Thanks for watching and sharing your experience with this 🙏🏻❤

Thanks for your feedback, and yes, I'd be happy to do another video. From your comment, I think you're wanting to know how you might work with parental vigilance in an exploratory, somatic way? Is that right? If not, please reply. I'll record something in the next few days. 🌷❤

@@colleenadrian1590 you are correct

@@tonimt1712 Toni, I've just posted this video, and I hope it answers your question! ua-cam.com/video/aaBRUgvIEE4/v-deo.html

💯❤