Episode #616 of Comedy Bang Bang: Brantley Aldean (Drew Tarver) and Harland Haywood (Carl Tart) of the country band Memphis Kansas Breeze perform songs about the three things that make life worth living - beer, women, and big shiny trucks.
Lyrics by Brad Evans and Nick Ciarelli.
0:16 Pickup Truck Birthday Party (Truck's Birthday)
It's Saturday night, time to have some fun
Gonna drink some beers, gonna shoot my gun
Then I notice the date's 2/23
And that's a birthday to someone special to me
So I got some candles and I got some cake
And I told everyone to meet me by the lake
I got my truck four years ago today
And that makes this the truck's birthday
Pickup truck birthday party, everyone's invited
The trucks honk their horns and they get excited
Pickup truck birthday party, havin' a blast
I got him a birthday cake made of gas
And instead of party hats, the trucks wear traffic cones
And instead of birthday clowns, they hire a mechanic
'stead of singing "Happy Birthday," trucks honk their horns
Some do car alarms, but most honk horns
Honk honk, truck's birthday
Honk honk, truck's birthday
Honk honk, truck's birthday
1:44 Truck Prom Dance (Girl Invited To The Truck Prom Dance)
There once was a girl truck
Who didn't get invited to the truck school dance
No one asked her
She had to stay at home alone cryin' tears made of gas
The most popular truck in school
Invited her to the prom as a joke
All the jock trucks
Were gonna look at her and laugh at her expense
But then the boy truck took off the girl truck's glasses
And realized just how pretty she was
He learned that you can't judge a truck
Based solely on its appearance
Because it's what's inside the truck that matters the most
You gotta open up the hood to see what kinda engine's inside
Then they both got elected king and queen of the...
Truck prom dance
Truck prom dance
Truck, truck prom dance
Toot beep beep honk toot beep
Honk beep toot beep honk beep
Honk beep beep toot honk beep
Toot beep honk honk beep honk
3:39 Human Skin Truck Baby
I came home from work to see my wife
Cryin' on the couch
My wife is a truck and when she cries, she honks
Honk honk
Truck wife said, "Honey, I'm pregnant"
So I held her by her side mirror, which is her hand
And then I gazed into her windshield eyes
I said, "I'll be proud to be the dad of your truck baby"
Then the truck gave birth right then and there
Out of her tailpipe which is her pussy
Squirtin' out the tailpipe, what did I see
A little baby truck that looked sorta like me
It was a full sized truck covered in human skin
It started screaming in a human voice
It said, "Please kill me, I'm constantly in pain
Why do I exist? Please end my life"
I said, "No, you're my son
And I'm proud to be
The father to this
Human skin truck baby"
Human skin truck baby
Human skin truck baby
Skin truck, skin truck
Human skin truck baby
Toot beep beep honk toot honk
Honk beep toot beep honk boop
Beep boop right left right left
Blinkers on the car
5:21 Truck Threesome (Skit)
5:45 Truck Monogamy (Skit)
6:17 Don't Tell My Parents (Skit)