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Made By Spencer
United States
Приєднався 15 вер 2014
I live in Los Angeles and work on movies in Hollywood! I make videos about my life and I ask questions that I am attempting to figure out the answers too.
Return To Status Quo
The thumbnail of this video is the chair that I found my grandma in when she had her stroke.
It was a Sunday morning like any other, I had gone on a bike ride with my Dad and I was heading home. But I decided to stop by my Grandma’s because I hadn’t talked to her in a long time. My Dad warned me that she had been under the weather and was struggling with taking her medication but I didn’t think twice about it.
When I arrived, I knocked on her door but she didn’t answer. I knocked a couple more times but still no answer. So I used my key and opened the door. Immediately something felt off. It was 9am in the morning but it was completely dark inside, no natural light. As I moved to the living room I could hear the TV blaring. My grandma always watched the TV loud but never this loud. As I walked into the living room I saw her in her chair. Slightly dazed and out of it. I thought this was bad, but then again my Dad had warned me.
I sat down on the ground next to her and talked to her, she gave me verbal cues but no straight eye contact. I found this strange. My grandma always made eye contact. I figured she might need some water or food so I walked into the kitchen and this is when it hit me.
All over the ground was spilled soup, it looked like it had been there since yesterday. Now by all means, in my messy personal life, this would be all normal in my house, but for my Grandma, nothing was ever out of place in her house.
I immediately called my Dad and we took her to the hospital. The doctors confirmed she had a stroke. Yet with the stroke medication and IV she cae back to life as if nothing had happened.
In the hospital, she kept insisting that it wasn’t that bad, that she didn’t even need to come to the hospital but that was my Grandma’s mentality. Everything was always not that bad.
In the ICU I brought her a Trader Joe’s chicken salad for lunch and we sat and talked, this would the first time I had spoken to my Grandma that year. I felt great, I felt that I had changed something because what if I had never gone to my Grandma’s house to say hi that Sunday morning? What if she had been sitting in that chair for another 9 hours?
A few weeks after this experience my Grandma gave up the will to live. I remember visiting her in her bedroom a week later. She was sitting on the edge of her bed, I sat down next to her, and put my arm around her. She said, “I feel so tired”. I had never heard that sentence with so much expression before.
The next week she would pass away. In the same bedroom, in the same place that my grandfather passed away nearly 30 years earlier.
This video is called Return to Status Quo because I realized that each time I saw my Grandma, from the stroke in the chair to the hospice bed, that each time I was with her, I felt present. Nothing else mattered. No job aspirations, women, men, material possessions, or earthly desires mattered. But as soon as I left her house, I forget all about her. I was thrown back into my self centered selfish life where I only think about me, myself, and I.
She didn’t matter to me the moment I pulled out of her driveway and I hated myself when I realized that. I hated how easy it was, how natural it felt.
I made this video to remind myself that even though the beauty in life is that the pain doesn’t last, it doesn’t mean I have to forget. From the painting on my wall to the recycle bin in my garage to this small video, there is a beauty in remembering. And that is something I never want to forget.
It was a Sunday morning like any other, I had gone on a bike ride with my Dad and I was heading home. But I decided to stop by my Grandma’s because I hadn’t talked to her in a long time. My Dad warned me that she had been under the weather and was struggling with taking her medication but I didn’t think twice about it.
When I arrived, I knocked on her door but she didn’t answer. I knocked a couple more times but still no answer. So I used my key and opened the door. Immediately something felt off. It was 9am in the morning but it was completely dark inside, no natural light. As I moved to the living room I could hear the TV blaring. My grandma always watched the TV loud but never this loud. As I walked into the living room I saw her in her chair. Slightly dazed and out of it. I thought this was bad, but then again my Dad had warned me.
I sat down on the ground next to her and talked to her, she gave me verbal cues but no straight eye contact. I found this strange. My grandma always made eye contact. I figured she might need some water or food so I walked into the kitchen and this is when it hit me.
All over the ground was spilled soup, it looked like it had been there since yesterday. Now by all means, in my messy personal life, this would be all normal in my house, but for my Grandma, nothing was ever out of place in her house.
I immediately called my Dad and we took her to the hospital. The doctors confirmed she had a stroke. Yet with the stroke medication and IV she cae back to life as if nothing had happened.
In the hospital, she kept insisting that it wasn’t that bad, that she didn’t even need to come to the hospital but that was my Grandma’s mentality. Everything was always not that bad.
In the ICU I brought her a Trader Joe’s chicken salad for lunch and we sat and talked, this would the first time I had spoken to my Grandma that year. I felt great, I felt that I had changed something because what if I had never gone to my Grandma’s house to say hi that Sunday morning? What if she had been sitting in that chair for another 9 hours?
A few weeks after this experience my Grandma gave up the will to live. I remember visiting her in her bedroom a week later. She was sitting on the edge of her bed, I sat down next to her, and put my arm around her. She said, “I feel so tired”. I had never heard that sentence with so much expression before.
The next week she would pass away. In the same bedroom, in the same place that my grandfather passed away nearly 30 years earlier.
This video is called Return to Status Quo because I realized that each time I saw my Grandma, from the stroke in the chair to the hospice bed, that each time I was with her, I felt present. Nothing else mattered. No job aspirations, women, men, material possessions, or earthly desires mattered. But as soon as I left her house, I forget all about her. I was thrown back into my self centered selfish life where I only think about me, myself, and I.
She didn’t matter to me the moment I pulled out of her driveway and I hated myself when I realized that. I hated how easy it was, how natural it felt.
I made this video to remind myself that even though the beauty in life is that the pain doesn’t last, it doesn’t mean I have to forget. From the painting on my wall to the recycle bin in my garage to this small video, there is a beauty in remembering. And that is something I never want to forget.
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Відео
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Surf Cover provided by Jordi Been : ua-cam.com/users/Pindakaasize See you Tuesday Spencer Filmed on: Blackmagic Pocket Cinema Camera
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5,184,000,000 Seconds
This is pure poetry.
we need you back spencer posting here
You are the only UA-camr I'm actually genuinly excited to see posting a new video. I close all windows - full screen - full attention, it's not just content, it feels real. Hope it's more to come! Cheers!
Had to come back to this one as I find myself in a wait-and-see mode about a few things in my life. This is yet another reminder to fall in love with the process and not the result. Also, Grand Finale is one of my favorite Mac songs.
I am here to encourage you Spencer. Do NOT stop making films. I know it is not easy. DO NOT STOP PLEASE. I will be praying for you man! God bless. I would be honored to be in one of your films one day. You have a way of storytelling and adding a beauty to the seemingly mundane on the surface that most people admire. God bless you spence! Keep going my friend!!
Watching this 7y later. Do u still feel the same? @madebyspencer
I kinda quit the internet and social media altogether, but the rare opportunity I come back online, I check to see if you've uploaded. You've got a beautiful collection of stories here Spencer, time to rewatch some!
Thank you Douglas!
Curious if you have a favorite?
Once Upon A Time, I lived In A Van is one of my favourites. Learning To Ask For Help and Too Cool To Care are also amazing. Oof so hard to pick man @@MadeBySpencer
I still think about your videos every now and then. You have inspired me countless times. Hope you´re doing well bud. Thanks for sharing this.
Good to see you back
My favorite UA-cam creator of all time! Please come back
I hope life’s been treating you great
glad to see content from you Spencer
Great to see your back even if it’s in this format
Love to see it! Knew this was coming as soon as I started seeing videos on the PA channel!
THE LEGEND IS BACKK WOOOHOOO
You're back 💙
I have a long way to go before fully back, but I am making!
Happy to see you making again
I stumbled onto this video from r/macmiller in a little mac spiral, im a huge machead, i have been since 2019, awful timing in the grand scheme but it was when i needed him the most. He prepared me for so much of my life and watching you speak and reading what you wrote i feel like you understand me in a way that many people dont, you expressed feelings i have that i havent been able to put to words. Youre amazing at your craft but i want to say thank you for this video, it means a lot to me.
This means so much, thank you for the nice words. Mac Miller has had more of an influence on this channel than anyone will ever know. Do you happen to have a link to the r/MacMiller post? I have been on there for years and would love to share the love. Most dope!
Hope all is going well! Keeping an eye out for your next upload 👀
This was a great video. I struggle a lot to ask for help, so I needed this
Yeah. I've gone for only one semester but I know it's not for me. I'm going to look at an apartment tomorrow and I'm getting another job. Wish me luck, everyone!
To this day, my brain still reminds me of your videos from time to time. Your collection of films is one of the greatest things to exist on this platform.
Same here, just binge-watching all his videos - Wish he could get back, his channel was really unique!
this video is a gem.
My Uncle that was born in 1937 was always caught wearing a white t shirt throughout Chicago.
Spencer, I've noticed that the last part of the video (starting 4:55) had its audio muted. How come?
Unfortunately it got a copyright strike due to the Mac Miller sample and there is no option to re-upload.
@@MadeBySpencer Is it possible to make a revised version with a new, completely original / royalty-free piece of music that would not get you a strike?
Love you Spencer. Thank you for sharing your gifts 🙏🏾
Hey dude great video. Ever try finding golf balls in the ponds using goggles
Hope all is well Spencer, eagerly waiting for your next video. Edit- I've been a view/fan of years for 6 years and just had a thought you check and see if you had posted anything, but watching your video is always wonderful.
listening to this made me feel better, thought i was the only one thinking this way ❤️
Ur Mom: You around? I miss you Spencer :'(
all the things you mentioned we learnt and discused in college. Also finances and passive and active income and taxes. And I was doing art school....
I deleted Instagram 3 weeks ago, I did fear that I was gonna disconnect with my “friends” (by that I mean people that I haven’t even met but do know how they look like) but I see your point here, why would I know about their life? Why should they know my personal life? It’s so weird that we think this is normal. I’m so glad I figured it out while being 20 so I can change that
keep making videos bro. they have always been so good!
Every now and then I remember your channel and check to see what you’ve been up to. I’ve loved how you evolve each time and I hope you’re still out there chasing your dreams ✨
Just found your page, I felt this deeply.
Please return
Is it just me or does the audio get cut off from 04:55 onwards?
Good luck
Hey I'm just checking.../waiting/ rewatching. Hope you'll be back soon for a new season. All the best.
sAME here
Hey, Spencer! I love your videos. How do you record such clean and raw audio?
I am hoping to get a animation job at Warner bros I am in 9th grade media class but I do cartoons in my free time it’s always been my dream to go tour Warner brothers finally my mom and dad said yes next year and I will hold them too yet I never been to California
Bruh you're a weapon story teller. Still hits me in the feels. Your exposure and control of light is so fkn nice - love whatever you do in post too! Can't wait to see more "made by spencer" films
My condolences on your loss. This is a beautiful tribute wrapped up in a valuable life lesson, delivered perfectly in tonality and imagery. Videos like yours give me hope that UA-cam isn't just devolving into nothing but tech reviews, stunt vlogs, and clickbait topics meant to distract us from our lives. Thank you for the meaningful content.
Im proud of you man!!!
Excellent video I couldn't have said it better myself
Would love to be there as an animator one day there, who knows our ways may cross pass in a few years, still gotta get through high school as well as attend college
Raw and real
I believe in staying single.
In my early 20s.. I thought marriage is not a good idea. Now in my mid 30s.. I still think.the same. Never been married and no kids. Cat lady in the future but least happy and no stress. 😍
This is beautiful Spencer
i would love to work there one day