Video Diary of a Grieving Father
Video Diary of a Grieving Father
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Aug 18 2021
Just talking to you on the day you died
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Відео

Mr Nobody Podcast #2 The Dark Chords
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I offer some explanation Find all the episodes on iTunes or at themrnobodypcast@libsyn.com UA-cam channel is here ua-cam.com/channels/AaKheOVOTZLOs4ND5F8xUg.html?view_as=subscriber
Mr Nobody Podcast #1
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Dear friends It's been over a year and a half since i posted. much of my anger and suffering has been silent and private. I felt compelled to produce something that merged my thoughts with my work as a composer, songwriter and designer. Somehow podcasting came up. These have become my weekly focus and i intend to make one per week. I cannot understate how deeply I miss my son. My identity and p...
You Fool
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I had an urge to write melody and some lyrics and this is what came out Forrest would approve as i used Parker blues changes. Now it really has been one year and this unfortunately summarizes my raw feelings i felt it belonged on this memorial, i haven't written any words since he died.
237 Epilog Thx 4 letting me share
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thank you its a beautiful world there will be enough suffering in everyones human life-span, why make more than there naturally has to be i don't blame Forrest or anyone for the desire to experiment with altered states, i am suggesting that we shame heroine into the abyss it belongs. if it didn't kill people after turning them into robots, i'd care less but still consider it a false and ruinous...
236 The moment he died
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i miss him so much it hurts
235 4 hours to live
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my son was hanging out with his room mates whom he adored! I so sorry they had to find him the next day! my deepest apologies on his behalf. a memory like that never goes away and is aways a bad one. i miss him so much...my boy but its just like every day now tears
234 A Place called nowhere
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today (one year ago) was the last day of his life today i keep a silent vigil while working I'm so sad that he lost his life so young and to this
233 2 days to live
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nothing to add today
232 Priests Sex Death and Religion
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i could have said more some of the only times he would be nice to us was either right before or right after some episode uggggg.. it took years to get a handle on what that did to me. they say thousands of boys and girls in PA. catholic sphere but it happens whenever you create this artificial, brainwashed, tradition-enforced, death-fearing hierarchy Don't blame anyone, we have a collective res...
231 Cupboard Talk m4v
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This got weird but at least i told him how i'm feeling, sort of I told myself
230 Family Reunion PT2
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That was an emotionally heavy day for me when i should have been a delicious celebration of the branches of my family It was sad for me to see all his cousins laughing and relating without him. It's like he didn't exist and that hurts in a particular way
229 Family reunion PT 1
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I get triggered when i see my beautiful family gathering and celebrating the good. I can only observe. They all are so happy and hopeful What happened to my son??
228 I've said terrible things
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ugh grief in real time i think and feel terrible things i can only love him is some sort of vacuum now
227 Housing Project Jihad
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humans poisoning other humans for ideology and profit. Our kids don't stand a chance, they're soft targets we're not going to moralize ourselves out of this, kids will experiment and the death machine is ready for them. It's one tactic in a broader ideological war that is using our housing -project youth as it's expendable foot troops to poison our foolish. I saw 911 with my own eyes, all the h...
226 For doing this
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226 For doing this
225 Stop Breathing
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225 Stop Breathing
224 Eyes Wide Closed
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224 Eyes Wide Closed
223 Twisted knee
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223 Twisted knee
222 i miss the way A poem he wrote
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222 i miss the way A poem he wrote
221 Sick of myself
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221 Sick of myself
220 The Body Pt 2
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220 The Body Pt 2
220 The Body Pt.1
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220 The Body Pt.1
219 Tantra
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219 Tantra
218 leading a meeting
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218 leading a meeting
217 Post-Gig Reflections
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217 Post-Gig Reflections
216 What have I learned?
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216 What have I learned?
215 I took my eyes off
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215 I took my eyes off
214 He shouldn't have died
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214 He shouldn't have died
213 Isolation
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213 Isolation

КОМЕНТАРІ

  • @barbarayorkwoodside3716
    @barbarayorkwoodside3716 3 роки тому

    Albert, I thought of you today... and Forrest. Hugs.

  • @u89worlds
    @u89worlds 3 роки тому

    Farewell, beautiful. Compassion. A love supreme. Beyond the mind.

  • @vikramsarabhai1
    @vikramsarabhai1 4 роки тому

    Thank you for these videos!! I don't know what to add - other then, "We don't know what we don't know". Marching on as best we can, seems to be the right course of action!

  • @gracebouchard7977
    @gracebouchard7977 4 роки тому

    Thank you for sharing this. The rawness of your grief touches mine.

  • @barbarayorkwoodside3716
    @barbarayorkwoodside3716 4 роки тому

    Mr Nobody. Hugs

  • @barbarayorkwoodside3716
    @barbarayorkwoodside3716 4 роки тому

    I commented before I played the video. Tears. Hugs.

  • @barbarayorkwoodside3716
    @barbarayorkwoodside3716 4 роки тому

    I was thinking about you last week. Put that cigarette out ❤ I got married, quit smoking, eat clean now. Thank you for being a change factor in my life. Welcome back. ❤

  • @barbarayorkwoodside3716
    @barbarayorkwoodside3716 5 років тому

    Hi Albert. Checking in, I have been thinking about you. I found some poems recently that my brother wrote, he died from an overdose in several years ago. Reading them has taught me that I have dealt with some grief issues. I hope your are finding this to be true also. But I really want to say I hope the Universe blesses you with all the love, blessings, forgiveness and joy that is infinitely possible. Hugs.

  • @barbarayorkwoodside3716
    @barbarayorkwoodside3716 5 років тому

    I quit smoking after 45 years last August. I still drink alcohol but the smoking addiction part, well, I never knew how the toxins clouded everything. Hugs. Thinking of you tonight.

  • @barbarayorkwoodside3716
    @barbarayorkwoodside3716 5 років тому

    Albert. Thinking of you tonight. I hope you are hugging yourself and those you love.

  • @barbarayorkwoodside3716
    @barbarayorkwoodside3716 5 років тому

    Albert, take good care. Thank you for sharing your journey. Hugs.

  • @joylove7491
    @joylove7491 6 років тому

    Prayers

  • @lisascheffer1160
    @lisascheffer1160 6 років тому

    www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/what-it-feels-like-to-be-an-opioid-addict_us_596fbfd0e4b0aa14ea76d8c4

  • @lisascheffer1160
    @lisascheffer1160 6 років тому

    Hey, thanks for sharing your journey with us. Please don’t feel shame. That’s what keepa the stigma going. You did nothing to be shameful for. I would have made many more comments but I am not sure if you read them. My heart breaks for you in this last video as much as the first even though I never met you. I knew your son for a few years when our kids were young. You stay strong and I really hope you reach out to friends and family to help you along. Don’t think they don’t want to hear you. That’s what they are there for.

  • @lisascheffer1160
    @lisascheffer1160 6 років тому

    From what I learned about someone contacting you after they die is that you need a medium to bring that connection with him to you.

  • @barbarayorkwoodside3716
    @barbarayorkwoodside3716 6 років тому

    You made it. Heavy sigh. Always so so so hard and always glad to get through it. Hugs

  • @nickparker6921
    @nickparker6921 6 років тому

    Faith is a powerful and mysterious 'thing.'

  • @barbarayorkwoodside3716
    @barbarayorkwoodside3716 6 років тому

    Hugs

  • @barbarayorkwoodside3716
    @barbarayorkwoodside3716 6 років тому

    Hugs

  • @barbarayorkwoodside3716
    @barbarayorkwoodside3716 6 років тому

    Hugs

  • @shantalriley2656
    @shantalriley2656 6 років тому

    Thanks for this.

  • @barbarayorkwoodside3716
    @barbarayorkwoodside3716 6 років тому

    Albert, I've been away from your feed for a little bit. Life happening. I can only ask that you wait until after the 19th to end your diary and leave the door open for a few cameos. Your followers will worry and wonder how your doing. I know I will. But if you can't or won't please know you have the support of completes strangers who have walked with you through this last year. Wherever life takes you, you will pick the high road. I'm so sorrowful for your loss and not in a cliche way, I really am so sorry. Hugs friend that I will never meet.

  • @Sharona1226
    @Sharona1226 6 років тому

    Aldo, I have been watching your videos as a witness. Thanks for exposing this stuff. It is deeply meaningful, both what you say, and the act of saying it . This poem/statement is not about you but I thought you would get it. Wretched and misery both derive From the sense of being outcast, pursued, sojourner in a foreign land. Expanse, expense, expunge, plunge. I lost my son before he was even born, and I wasn't about to lose him again. I hung my blunted heart between us like a strip of flypaper. He was born already entangled. Askance. Ask. Chance. Flung.

  • @u89worlds
    @u89worlds 6 років тому

    time heals. love to you and your family and all. living and dead. ride the waves. love.

  • @wearemilesfromnowhere4630
    @wearemilesfromnowhere4630 6 років тому

    This is the first one I have been able to bring myself to watch in several months. Thank you, from your brother.

  • @miaamato7695
    @miaamato7695 6 років тому

    Half of My Conversation Was Essayed Somehow Please Don't Mind Me I Listen and It Helps Me All that Matters Cut And Dry

  • @miaamato7695
    @miaamato7695 6 років тому

    Just Keep Yourself Going I Believe In You You Are Heart And Soul

  • @miaamato7695
    @miaamato7695 6 років тому

    I Don't Know How to Change This Stupid Picture Of Me it's A Guy

  • @miaamato7695
    @miaamato7695 6 років тому

    Then u tube Wouldn't Let Me Talk no more I Confronted Him no Explaination Broke Everything Off Totally Blew My Mind When We fought it Was Was Always A Back And Fought Thing Love You Don't Want To lose You this time He Brough It to Court Naturely The Judge Threw It Out Of Court But The Pain Goes On 3 years Can't Shake It We Live In A Small town in Jersey Right outside New York across the Tunnels Don't Get Me Wrong My Kids. and Grand kids Are My Life My Other Son Met His Wife At 13 years Old they Married At 20 years Old there Still together You Have Made Me Realize You Have Been Keeping Me Alive From You Love And Passion For Your Son Again made Me Realize how Bad My Mind Is Thinking I've Been So Down left All well not All but Most Of My Friends And I'm On A Journey That You My Friend Have Been Majorly Been Helping Me Through And I Haven Wanted to Comment Till today Cause It's True People Say Shit Like Good Will Come out of All Of This Bullshit Right But You Have Actually Been Helping Me Through made Me Go out Try Doing Good things for Myself Stay Healthy Ok Forget About It Just Thank You Ok I Love Listening To You You Have Given Me Some Kind Of Home I feel I'm On the Same Kind Of Journey But Yes I am I Feel My Kids Almost Lost Me To My Sucidel thoughts They Don't Know They Know Something Has Been Wrong and They've Been Telling Me Mom Don't Worry Don't Worry Bout Nothin The poor Babies ❤️❤️Sorry I'm Sorry I'm Sorry For You And For Me

  • @miaamato7695
    @miaamato7695 6 років тому

    You Have A Black Eye and By The May You Can Never Imagine How much You Have Helped Me With My lose Wasn't One Of My Two Sons I Couldn't Be As Strong As you Think I Would Die with My 3 grandchildren And All my Grandson Is 23 we almost Lost Him To Drugs but Not Herion but Every other Kind He models And Went To School For Music Producution in New York Hes Fantastic love Him To pieces But I Worry besides all of That Been Broken Up With A Boyfriend And This Was A Biggie I Know Now the Secrets He Was Hiding Achcolic Pills Found Out Big Coke head But is A Board of Health Inspector Big Time Job But Since Our Breakup Has Been In Rehab 3 Times got His Nose Busted By A Bouncers Ones Weed I Kinda Liked That Before We Went To Bed At nightBut Then football Season Began And All Hell Broke Lose started Gambling Broughing Money From The City Started Punching The Pillows Hard Beating It up in His Sleep Then

  • @barbarayorkwoodside3716
    @barbarayorkwoodside3716 6 років тому

    Hugs

  • @barbarayorkwoodside3716
    @barbarayorkwoodside3716 6 років тому

    Hugs

  • @lisascheffer1160
    @lisascheffer1160 6 років тому

    People are watching. I’ve watching ever one.

  • @barbarayorkwoodside3716
    @barbarayorkwoodside3716 6 років тому

    Hugs

  • @barbarayorkwoodside3716
    @barbarayorkwoodside3716 6 років тому

    Hugs

  • @barbarayorkwoodside3716
    @barbarayorkwoodside3716 6 років тому

    Hugs

  • @barbarayorkwoodside3716
    @barbarayorkwoodside3716 6 років тому

    I'm surprised it hasn't happened sooner. Hugs.

  • @barbarayorkwoodside3716
    @barbarayorkwoodside3716 6 років тому

    Hugs

  • @lisascheffer1160
    @lisascheffer1160 6 років тому

    Happy birthday.

  • @barbarayorkwoodside3716
    @barbarayorkwoodside3716 6 років тому

    Hugs

  • @nickparker6921
    @nickparker6921 6 років тому

    My favorite cat all -time!!

  • @barbarayorkwoodside3716
    @barbarayorkwoodside3716 6 років тому

    Hugs

  • @barbarayorkwoodside3716
    @barbarayorkwoodside3716 6 років тому

    Hugs

  • @barbarayorkwoodside3716
    @barbarayorkwoodside3716 6 років тому

    Hugs

  • @lisascheffer1160
    @lisascheffer1160 6 років тому

    Great list.

  • @JonathanKruk
    @JonathanKruk 6 років тому

    Heartened by your 'flashes of a meaningful future.'

  • @lisascheffer1160
    @lisascheffer1160 6 років тому

    You two look so much alike.

  • @barbarayorkwoodside3716
    @barbarayorkwoodside3716 6 років тому

    Hugs

  • @barbarayorkwoodside3716
    @barbarayorkwoodside3716 6 років тому

    Hugs

  • @barbarayorkwoodside3716
    @barbarayorkwoodside3716 6 років тому

    I thought of you, again, today when I received an email. I've mentioned before that I work in organ donation and how I am confronted with families who are losing a loved one to this epidemic and that donation is an untoward side effect of heroin overdoses in the population. This family has a web site for Sean: www.for-kindness.com. That's how they are dealing with trying to raise awareness. I'm not pretending this will mean anything to you but it made me think of you and Forrest -again. I see this more than you want to care to know. But I carry Forrest and your family in my heart - yes especially you- in my daily life. I wish Forrest could have been a donor. Hugs.