Jay Ellen
Jay Ellen
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Working on a private maternity ward in the UK!
Come and join me on 2 shifts on a private maternity ward 🥰
I obviously can't film any direct patient care so it was kind of harder to film a work vlog than I thought but hopefully you get an idea of what it is like anyway 😅 the first day was super quiet so not much to show and then the second day was sooo busy I didn't manage to film much so... Bit of a disaster but oh well 😂
Maybe I should do a Q&A about being a midwife, what do you think? Let me know what you want to see.
Thanks to you all for sticking around and watching.
Lots of love, J x
Переглядів: 1 099

Відео

Family holiday to Centre Parcs Longleat!
Переглядів 559Місяць тому
Hey lovely lot, I know it’s taken me ages to get this video up (it’s literally from June 😅😂) but I hope you enjoy it. Fast forward to around 25 mins if you want a real laugh as mum and me went to longleat and fed some of the animals there 🤣 I hope you’re all well! Let me know how you’ve all been and what you’ve been up to this summer. Like, comment, subscribe and all that jazz, Lots of love, J ...
Soft Girl Hen Do in the Isle of Wight 💕
Переглядів 1922 місяці тому
Come along with me on this very cute, very chilled hen do for my friend Izzy. We did candle painting, yoga, had a picnic on the beach and so many cute activities. Bonus points if you can guess the song that Molly and me were singing in the car on the way home. Here's a clue, it's from my favourite movie... 😜🥰💕 I hope you're all doing well. Lots of love, J x
It's been a while...
Переглядів 3152 місяці тому
Let's catch up, sorry it's been so long! How has everyone been? I hope everyone watching is doing well, let's connect in the comments below. Subscribe, like, share and I will see you in the next video. Lots of love, J x
I went to a ball and won an award! Midwife of the year award!
Переглядів 3276 місяців тому
This is such an exciting video! Over the weekend I went to the Mariposa Trust Ball at the gorgeous Landmark Hotel in London and I won a midwife of the year outstanding achievement award! Can you believe it!? Also can you believe the fast turn around of editing and posting this vlog 😅😂 it can be done haha 😂 I've tried to keep this vlog light hearted and only show the fun bits but the Mariposa Tr...
A weekend in Cornwall ❤️
Переглядів 5366 місяців тому
We went to Cornwall for a weekend for my birthday which was lovely 🥰 the weather wasn’t even that bad for February! 🥳 I need to do another weekend break already tho, any suggestions where to go? UK based? 🥰 I hope you’re all well! Sending lots of love, J x
It's my birthday! Vlog
Переглядів 3717 місяців тому
Two uploads in the space of a week who am I 😅😂 and not long after it’s been filmed either 😂 so far so good with my 2024 goal of posting more. How is everyone? I hope you’re all good! Thank you to everyone who sent birthday wishes, I had a lovely relaxing week 🥰 is it just me or does time of work go way too quickly!? Also, 3 takeaways in 1 week 😅🐳 wow… 😂 Hope you enjoy this little catch up, let ...
Registered midwife VLOG - Spend a week with me!
Переглядів 5 тис.7 місяців тому
A slight change in vlog but incase any of you were wondering what it's like to be a full time midwife here ya go! 😜 This is a week in my working life. This isn't a normal week though as I filmed it in Jan which is often quiet, maybe I will re do this again in September when we have the mad rush and feel like pulling our hair out and crying in cupboards 😅😂 Bit of a random one anyway but maybe it...
December highlights 23
Переглядів 3278 місяців тому
This upload isn’t as late as I thought it was going to be! But here we go, my December highlights. I hope you all had a magical December and Christmas and that the new year is treating you all well. Back soon with a big catch up and… The results from my follow up! 🫢🫣 Lots of love, J x
Crystal Palace Football Club Stadium Tour
Переглядів 1,9 тис.8 місяців тому
Hey all! The videos/uploads are a little bit out of sync atm I'm afraid, plenty of videos coming soon but there are just reasons I can't upload them yet. For now have a look around Selhurst Park with me 🥰❤️ I took my dad on this tour for his Christmas present and was a bit apprehensive about it before we went but it was the best day and so much fun. I would definitely recommend it and am so gla...
What I got for Christmas 2023
Переглядів 5368 місяців тому
I hope you've all had a lovely time over the holidays. What has everyone been up to? Enjoy this video of me sharing some of my gifts with you. Like I said I realise how lucky I am and am very grateful for all the gifts I received. I hope you are all doing well and coping through the holidays. Sending lots of love, J x Paris print by: @millie.illustrates on Instagram 💕
Christmas trip to Strasbourg and Colmar! 🥰🎄❤️
Переглядів 2509 місяців тому
Hey everyone! It’s a hiloday vlog 🥳🥳🥳🎄❤️ I hope you enjoy this video of our very festive holiday to Strasbourg and Colmar. We absolutely loved it and would recommend it as a place to go especially around this time of year. I have tried to include prices of things to give you an idea of how much it costs to go there but will include some more in this description box. It was slightly awkward to g...
Wisley Gardens Christmas lights ✨
Переглядів 1209 місяців тому
Woo hoo finally a Christmas video 🥳🥰❤️😅 Wisley was so pretty I was shook. I love going here anyway and am a bit of a regular but this was my first time to the Christmas lights display and wow! If you haven't been already I would really recommend it. I should have got this video out a few weeks ago really 😅😂 opps but keep it in mind for next year and go midweek and early if you want to avoid the...
Pack with me! Hand luggage only 🙈 winter get away ✨
Переглядів 3959 місяців тому
Hello everyone and Merry Christmassssss 🥰🥳 I hope you are all doing well. This video is just a little pack with me for a 6 day get away to France (one cold place and one slightly warmer). Does anyone else struggle with packing when you can only take a tiny case? I found it so hard 😅 Anyway I hope you enjoy it. Let me know what your must haves are for packing and taking away on holiday with you....
A sister day 💕 First radiotherapy appointment and retail therapy
Переглядів 2979 місяців тому
We are almost up to date with the uploads 😅 thank you all for bearing with me 💕 In this video we went to Sarah's first radiotherapy appointment where they lined her up to get the correct position for the radiotherapy beam. As it turns out she can't have it now but that is a story for another video! For more updates you can follow her on her instagram or stay tuned here for an update in another ...
It's not a Christmassy video but we need to catch up..
Переглядів 1609 місяців тому
It's not a Christmassy video but we need to catch up..
An Autumn day out to Garsons Farm pumpkin picking 🍁🍂
Переглядів 17310 місяців тому
An Autumn day out to Garsons Farm pumpkin picking 🍁🍂
🍁🍂 A walk in Richmond Park ❤️
Переглядів 23210 місяців тому
🍁🍂 A walk in Richmond Park ❤️
Spend a few days with me ☺️ | vlog
Переглядів 71111 місяців тому
Spend a few days with me ☺️ | vlog
We went on the Shine Night Walk in London!
Переглядів 57211 місяців тому
We went on the Shine Night Walk in London!
I don't know how we did it!! South Coast Challenge 50km
Переглядів 753Рік тому
I don't know how we did it!! South Coast Challenge 50km
We stayed in the creepiest place!
Переглядів 536Рік тому
We stayed in the creepiest place!
What's been going on recently... Life update and mental health chat
Переглядів 702Рік тому
What's been going on recently... Life update and mental health chat
Summer in Norway! Waterfalls, hikes and mum got scared! 😱 😁⛰🇳🇴❤️
Переглядів 4,8 тис.Рік тому
Summer in Norway! Waterfalls, hikes and mum got scared! 😱 😁⛰🇳🇴❤️
Summer in Norway! Swimming in the lakes and cozy cabin fun! Travel vlog
Переглядів 4,1 тис.Рік тому
Summer in Norway! Swimming in the lakes and cozy cabin fun! Travel vlog
Summer in Norway! We laughed so much 😂❤️
Переглядів 13 тис.Рік тому
Summer in Norway! We laughed so much 😂❤️
What's been going on.. Cervical dysplasia, CIN3, colposcopy, LLETZ, surgery! Telling you everything!
Переглядів 21 тис.Рік тому
What's been going on.. Cervical dysplasia, CIN3, colposcopy, LLETZ, surgery! Telling you everything!
Beach day in ENGLAND! I can't believe how good the weather was 🤩😎
Переглядів 885Рік тому
Beach day in ENGLAND! I can't believe how good the weather was 🤩😎
A VERY ENGLISH DAY OUT | Afternoon Tea at the Four Seasons Hotel | Was it worth it?…
Переглядів 675Рік тому
A VERY ENGLISH DAY OUT | Afternoon Tea at the Four Seasons Hotel | Was it worth it?…
Last game of the season | Crystal Palace FC |
Переглядів 4 тис.Рік тому
Last game of the season | Crystal Palace FC |

КОМЕНТАРІ

  • @Debbie304
    @Debbie304 Годину тому

    hey could u talk about safeguarding midwifery if you know anything about it as i am interested in doing it but haven’t got much details on it x

  • @NailiSara
    @NailiSara 2 дні тому

    I love you im from algeria how about hpv ?are ok?i have hpv cin3😢😢😢😢😢

  • @SmithLind
    @SmithLind 4 дні тому

    I'll tell everyone about you *MR OBALAR* coming across your UA-cam channel was a blessing, I'm free from hpv,, victory at last.❤❤❤…

  • @SmithLind
    @SmithLind 4 дні тому

    I'll tell everyone about you *MR OBALAR* coming across your UA-cam channel was a blessing, I'm free from hpv,, victory at last.❤❤❤…

  • @SmithLind
    @SmithLind 4 дні тому

    I'll tell everyone about you *MR OBALAR* coming across your UA-cam channel was a blessing, I'm free from hpv,, victory at last.❤❤❤…

  • @Amelia_Gracex
    @Amelia_Gracex 5 днів тому

    I’m in year 11, and my dream job is midwifery! I’m going to college in September 2025 and doing health and social care… thank you for giving me and idea of how my days will be 🤍🤍

  • @jessfidler2356
    @jessfidler2356 5 днів тому

    i’m 16, and in college, doing health and social care to hopefully be a midwife someday. i love watching these to give me an idea of what my life could be like. thank you.

    • @Amelia_Gracex
      @Amelia_Gracex 5 днів тому

      Hiii, im going to college next year and doing health and social care, do you have any advice or can you tell me what’s it’s like because in nervous 😭🤍

    • @jayellen
      @jayellen 5 днів тому

      @@Amelia_Gracex hey! Don’t be nervous, it’s a wonderful job. Maybe I should do a Q&A video? Would that be helpful?

    • @jayellen
      @jayellen 5 днів тому

      @@jessfidler2356 Hey Jess, that’s amazing to hear :) I think I will do a Q&A video with more information so if you have any questions let me know and I’ll try my best to answer them. Good luck with your studying!

    • @Amelia_Gracex
      @Amelia_Gracex 5 днів тому

      @@jayellen omg yess that would be so helpful and would calm me down so much, thank you 🤍

  • @harrydexter4000
    @harrydexter4000 7 днів тому

    pls share this I'm here to testify on how i was cured from Herpes 1&2 with the use of herbs. I got the herbs from Drapalahealing…..

  • @tealbutterfly8516
    @tealbutterfly8516 13 днів тому

    Hi Jay Love the video. Been a midwife is hard work, and watching this i can't believe the struggles everyone has. Recently we had to divert as we literally had no beds in labour ward, ANC ward or any of the PN wards, so i am 100% with you when you talk about September 😂😂 its always the way. Hope you got your AL in for next year. Congratulations been part of the PDM team, the are amazing in what they do and achieve. Im an August baby, love it 😍 as never had to go to school on my birthday 😂 lol. Keep up the good work xx

    • @jayellen
      @jayellen 4 дні тому

      @@tealbutterfly8516 hey! Thank you, amazing that you do the same work too. You know all about the struggles 😅😂 jealous of your August birthday! That must be lovely every year 💕

    • @tealbutterfly8516
      @tealbutterfly8516 4 дні тому

      @@jayellen Yep August is a good month, as long as it's not too hot! Not a fan of the heat!!! 😂😂 yes, it is an amazing and rewarding job 💖. With yourself developing in the PDM team, I actually a few years back now moved to work in the bereavement team, it's very sad, but losing my daughter who was stillborn, I felt like I needed to give something back after the amazing care I received, it's one of the reasons I came into the job I do. What I found interesting when speaking to people, is everyone thinks the maternity unit is all about delivering a baby and sending mom and baby on there way, they are quite shocked when you tell them there is soooooo much more to it then that (as I'm sure you are aware). Keep up the amazing work you do, your a credit to the NHS. And the videos also, will help as I can see from some of the comments people understand the job and hopefully come into the profession xx

  • @WimbledonGirl22
    @WimbledonGirl22 15 днів тому

    Hi Jay, thank you for sharing this vlog! Midwives like you are absolute heroes. I would love to ask a few questions: - What are the key differences in postnatal care for patients in the private ward vs NHS? Do you think it's worth the cost? - How does the overnight nursery service work? - What are some of the nice things that patients have done to show their appreciation for you? Thank you xxx

  • @lucyd6517
    @lucyd6517 15 днів тому

    What an amazing job you do, you deserve a medal! X😊

  • @Stevegent-q3y
    @Stevegent-q3y 15 днів тому

    Hi jay you do a brilliant job hi to Emma and Sarah and your mum see you on Saturday at palace if you are going.

    • @jayellen
      @jayellen 15 днів тому

      @@Stevegent-q3y thanks Steve 🙂 hope you’re doing well

  • @sslaughts3587
    @sslaughts3587 15 днів тому

    I don't know how you do those long days, you work so hard 💙

    • @jayellen
      @jayellen 15 днів тому

      @@sslaughts3587 thanks sissy 🩷

  • @mluisablessed7301
    @mluisablessed7301 16 днів тому

    I Love It!

    • @jayellen
      @jayellen 15 днів тому

      Thank you ☺️

  • @susannebyrne7488
    @susannebyrne7488 17 днів тому

    Thank you so much for posting this video and that so far all is good.🤞🏼🤞🏼💕💕

    • @SmithLind
      @SmithLind 4 дні тому

      I'll tell everyone about you *MR OBALAR* coming across your UA-cam channel was a blessing, I'm free from hpv,, victory at last.❤❤❤…

  • @jm003-z7z
    @jm003-z7z 17 днів тому

    love this vlog - am currently applying for midwifery and trying to research as much as possible to get an insight into a career and what it'd be like after university

    • @jayellen
      @jayellen 15 днів тому

      I'm so happy to hear that! I hope you get onto the course and love it! If I can help with anything feel free to drop me a message or ask here :)

  • @Nia-Kenia
    @Nia-Kenia 19 днів тому

    1/2 marathon🥳🥂 🎉 Well Done

  • @Brooklyn_baddiex3
    @Brooklyn_baddiex3 21 день тому

    It’s really scary bc even though the docs may tell us that you’re body will fight it off there’s always possibility for your body not to and that’s what I’m very concerned about

  • @jonnamia2609
    @jonnamia2609 24 дні тому

    I was so lucky 😍 to get cured permanently from HIGH RISK HPV by DR ALAHO OLU on UA-cam Channel.

  • @lynetteconlon5647
    @lynetteconlon5647 25 днів тому

    Thank you @jayellen for this video. Very helpful x

  • @123r6lol
    @123r6lol 26 днів тому

    Was it a manual car you were driving in the video? x

  • @PixxiedustWoW
    @PixxiedustWoW 28 днів тому

    35 and had the first smear recently and they called me back for abdnormal cells CIN 3.... I cried my eyes, soon I'll have the colposcopy and I'm terified of the result....

  • @lucyd6517
    @lucyd6517 Місяць тому

    Always nices spending time as a family. Hope you enjoyed your holiday.😊

  • @angelaneal7154
    @angelaneal7154 Місяць тому

    Living life with a deadly virus HPV 🦠 was not the end of life for me, all thanks to DR ALAHO OLU on UA-cam Channel. He cured me…..

  • @angelaneal7154
    @angelaneal7154 Місяць тому

    Living life with a deadly virus HPV 🦠 was not the end of life for me, all thanks to DR ALAHO OLU on UA-cam Channel. He cured me…..

  • @donnaveale6783
    @donnaveale6783 Місяць тому

    My smear test absolute night mare it time wasnt bad two days later bad period ever my body shocking letter was clear body hasnt been right ever since made hormones extremely worse too many periods all at once too close together on proper medication migraines genetics exhausting as anything

    • @jayellen
      @jayellen Місяць тому

      @@donnaveale6783 that’s awful to hear! Make sure you go back to your doctor and get some answers and this sorted ❤️

    • @donnaveale6783
      @donnaveale6783 Місяць тому

      @@jayellen Thanks so much getting back too me really appreciate it unfortunately iv always suffered worse female issues due too nasty constant hormones my drs tryed everything bloods scans never picked up anything serious now taken strong homeopathic remedies try help me this cruel genetics makes me so shattered shocking body carry on this way me just cope best I can more hormonal medications thankyou reply sorry everything u been through hope drs helping u really thinking of u feel better soon take care

  • @karencone896
    @karencone896 Місяць тому

    Thank you. You're so brave. This will help a lot of women.

  • @matthewyou7492
    @matthewyou7492 Місяць тому

    Hi! first or last week of december?

  • @harabranding
    @harabranding Місяць тому

    Has anyone had a natural birth after lletz procedure? I worry about my cervix not dialating naturally because of scarred tissue Wishing you all good health 🫶🏻

    • @jayellen
      @jayellen Місяць тому

      @@harabranding I’m a midwife and have seen lots of women have vaginal births after lletz 🙂 at the booking appointment/first appointment your medical history is taken and you will be referred to a consultant due to the history of the lletz. They will scan your cervix and check the length, they may also ask you how much you had taken off at the lletz. If your cervix is short or you had a certain amount taken off then they might keep a closer eye on your pregnancy, regularly scan your cervical length or sometimes put a suture in to try and prevent the cervix from shortening. But you can definitely still have a vaginal birth 🙂 hope this helps

    • @jayellen
      @jayellen Місяць тому

      @@harabranding sorry and to answer the other part.. The cervix can dilate even with scar tissue. We assess dilatation regularly during labour (with your consent) and if there are any delays or issues we discuss with the doctors etc and make a plan, this maybe using hormone drugs etc to help dilatation but it is still possible

    • @harabranding
      @harabranding Місяць тому

      @@jayellen thank you soo much for responding! This has really helped ❤️

    • @harabranding
      @harabranding Місяць тому

      I was hoping i could ask you another question 💕 Im only 4 weeks pregnant now, 5 years after i had my lletz procedure which was just after i gave birth to my first child and i know i have scarring on my cervix which i always thought was why its been difficult to fall pregnant. After intercourse yesterday there was some blood and the next day abit of brown/black/grey discharge which now has subsided. Is this normal? Maybe too early to get checked out? You are appreciated 🫶🏻

  • @Priscila94292
    @Priscila94292 Місяць тому

    Girl! Videos like this are so important. We need to talk about that, we go through a lot to feel ashamed talking about hpv. I just found out through pep test I have high risk hpv with 14 types (16, 18 and so many others that I can’t even remember and I’m so frustrated. I had my colposcopy and didn’t hurt at all. A little bit uncomfortable but nothing bad. Although I had a cryotherapy, it didn’t work, so now I gotta have a leep procedure and I’m trying not to freak out cause it’d be GA and I hate needles and also very a very anxious person. I hope everything goes well.

  • @tima1259
    @tima1259 Місяць тому

    How much is ur salary? Cuz Imma gonna be a midwive but I’m scared of the salary 👩🏻‍🦯

    • @jayellen
      @jayellen 15 днів тому

      It depends what level you are, where you work in the uk (London pays more for example) and if you specialise in anything. Don't be scared there are many ways to top up your earning too like working bank or agency shifts, teaching private antenatal courses, running hypnobirthing courses or private postnatal visits etc. Hope this helps x

  • @Youtube_Stole_My_Handle_Too
    @Youtube_Stole_My_Handle_Too Місяць тому

    Humper is a slang term typically used to describe a person engaging in vigorous, rhythmic movements with their hips or pelvic area, often against a person or object, for sexual pleasure or stimulation.

  • @radinaivanova8497
    @radinaivanova8497 Місяць тому

    Do you mind asking you if this has changed your sex life, sensations and orgasms…

  • @laurenkeele3444
    @laurenkeele3444 2 місяці тому

    Ive had hpv for 5 years and had my leep done under GA last year. Ive just had another colposcopy and my cin 3 that was cut away is starting to grow back but its only cin1 I use papilocare and taKe AHCC musgrooms and vitamins especially A, C, D and E

  • @tranredmann2958
    @tranredmann2958 2 місяці тому

    I was once an HPV patient, but now I have finally gotten rid of it with the help of DR ALAHO OLU on UA-cam herbal medicine you can also get yourself cured with the help of this same man, his herbal medicine works perfectly, well thanks so much…………

  • @tranredmann2958
    @tranredmann2958 2 місяці тому

    I was once an HPV patient, but now I have finally gotten rid of it with the help of DR ALAHO OLU on UA-cam herbal medicine you can also get yourself cured with the help of this same man, his herbal medicine works perfectly, well thanks so much…………

  • @jessicakathleen3363
    @jessicakathleen3363 2 місяці тому

    Thank you. Your video is really helpful. I hope by commenting it will help your video reach more people. ❤

  • @tranredmann2958
    @tranredmann2958 2 місяці тому

    I was once an HPV patient, but now I have finally gotten rid of it with the help of DR ALAHO OLU on UA-cam herbal medicine you can also get yourself cured with the help of this same man, his herbal medicine works perfectly, well thanks so much💃..

  • @tranredmann2958
    @tranredmann2958 2 місяці тому

    I was once an HPV patient, but now I have finally gotten rid of it with the help of DR ALAHO OLU on UA-cam herbal medicine you can also get yourself cured with the help of this same man, his herbal medicine works perfectly, well thanks so much💃..

  • @NailiSara
    @NailiSara 2 місяці тому

    How about hpv please

    • @jayellen
      @jayellen 2 місяці тому

      My most recent smear test at the start of the year was clear :)

    • @emilyelizabeth4365
      @emilyelizabeth4365 Місяць тому

      @@jayellenamazing!!!!! So so so happy to hear this!!! I am so happy for you. Thank you for providing us with amazing videos regarding this topic. You’re amazing. And your soul shines through your videos. You’ve helped me a lot.

  • @uadialesandra
    @uadialesandra 2 місяці тому

    Thanks so much *#DROBALAR* on UA-cam for curing me from Herpes, keep saving lives.❤..

  • @uadialesandra
    @uadialesandra 2 місяці тому

    Thanks so much *#DROBALAR* on UA-cam for curing me from Herpes, keep saving lives.❤..

  • @uadialesandra
    @uadialesandra 2 місяці тому

    Thanks so much *#DROBALAR* on UA-cam for curing me from Herpes, keep saving lives.❤..

  • @JanetNavier
    @JanetNavier 2 місяці тому

    Ive had abnormal smear high risk hpv but low grade dyskariosis. Colposcopy is booked for end of the month but ive had a referral made to gynae oncology and on a waiting list.. anyone else had that? Ive not been told ive been referred so im a little confused but worried at the same time.

    • @jayellen
      @jayellen 2 місяці тому

      Hey, it said the same thing in my letter. I asked about it and they said it's so I got seen quicker as I was cin3 rather than cin1/2. Did they give you a cin grade?

    • @JanetNavier
      @JanetNavier 2 місяці тому

      @@jayellen hey, thanks for replying. My colposcopy is tomorrow morning so i assume ill find out my cin grade? X

  • @rochelleagosto8937
    @rochelleagosto8937 2 місяці тому

    I was told by my dr, HPV can be contracted even with having the vaccine as well as skin to skin contact, even with a condom. So yes, many people have it.

    • @jayellen
      @jayellen 2 місяці тому

      Yes exactly! Even with the vaccine and such a high % of the population have it now it's very very common

  • @neenee_marie77
    @neenee_marie77 2 місяці тому

    Omg my legs were shaking too during my colposcopy. I was embarrassed about it. Glad to know I wasn't the only one

  • @Stevegent-q3y
    @Stevegent-q3y 2 місяці тому

    Hi jay huge congratulations on getting your new job 👏👏👏

    • @jayellen
      @jayellen 2 місяці тому

      Thanks Steve 🎉😊

  • @lucyd6517
    @lucyd6517 2 місяці тому

    I miss your vlogs , went for a psychic reading myself some years ago. I agree you have to go with an open mind.X

    • @jayellen
      @jayellen 2 місяці тому

      Thanks Lucy 😊 yes definitely need a more open mind for them 🙈

  • @OlaoyeSegun-qr8qg
    @OlaoyeSegun-qr8qg 3 місяці тому

    *MR OBALAR* ON UA-cam CURED ME TOTALLY❤

  • @OlaoyeSegun-qr8qg
    @OlaoyeSegun-qr8qg 3 місяці тому

    *MR OBALAR* ON UA-cam CURED ME TOTALLY