Відео

Projection?!

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42:40 "just stop talking" echoes in my head

My biggest barrier to forgiveness is the sense of whether the issue could keep repeating. Is hard to forgive when I perceive the issue will continue to repeat. Despite having seen on the order of 5 couples therapists over the past 27 years of being together, there are many b asic difficult conversations that I don’t feel I can successfully have with my wife. I suspect my wife is neurodivergent, but it’s only a guess, but that combined with none of the therapists had neurodivergent training would explain a lot

I ask my divergent partner to explain his motivations behind what he said or did. He truly would never intentionally hurt me (he has no “mean button”), but sometimes I misunderstand what he’s trying to get across.

Hi Dr Kathy I have been following you for a while , read several of your books , and have been looking for an opportunity to connect. I have been with my wife for 27 years, married for 21. We have seen several couples therapists over the years , I didn’t think very successfully . The most recent 2 therapists , after 1 and 3 years respectfully of seeing us , both indicated that they didn’t understand what my wife wanted . I think one therapist privately muttered under her breath that she wondered if my wife is Aspie, but wouldn’t follow up or repeat her statement . My wife is highly intelligent and successful, and is the last person most people would think could be neurodiverse. But after researching the topic for the past 1-2 years , I am suspecting she could be neurodiverse, but obviously don’t really know. I am a bit stuck at this point ,as I think she would react quite badly, reject and resist even suggestion that she might be on the spectrum , with lasting negative ramifications to our marriage at least in the short term, which could turn long term if not addressed well. Any guidance or ability to connect with you would be wonderful. To answer your question, couples therapy , especially in my most recent experiences with therapists not trained in neurodiversity has been a really frustrating experience , or unresolved mysterious experience , that I still flash back to years later . I welcome connecting deeper with you .

The high IQ of my Aspie makes him feel superior, so any narcissistic leanings are then self-validating. Ticks all 7 on your list. He's a covert narc/aspie. The damage to me is the same regardless.

This happened to me. I kept blaming myself so I wasn’t able to leave the situation fast enough. It’s scary how they actually even blame you for everything and even ask you to get some therapy when in fact they are aspie and they just hide it really well by masking.

Run! And don't look back!! These people are broken and cannot be fixed. Even if you can get them to therapy - and you won't - the therapist will likely be misled - and may not even see the issues - as narcissists are shameless manipulators.

Being or behaving?

Get around the first response? That's called manipulation. Ones with Asperger's and autism are completely incorruptible. Ones trying to control everything are finding out they're not controlling anything it's actually controlling them having to control everything. Ones want their opinion to be respected as they don't respect others opinions. It triggers everyone because ones with Asperger's mirror them back and they don't like it for some reason although we're in the ascension process trying to ascend prison planet not remain in it. They see flashing red lights and rather than heed the warning much like Noah it's all about appearance and fitting in with the herd and Asperger's don't fit in with the herd. That's supposed to be a good thing to think for themselves not be told what to think such as hive mind. Not everyone is hive mind. Much unconditional love and healing during this great awakening!

Hello . Is there any chance to see this video conference somewhere? Or otherwise - is there a Chance dir another one with that topic? I just found that Channel and I am pretty surey family has "tramformed" into narcissists. I wish I could sace them , turning back into Humans. Crazy as it sounds, but thats how it feels. Kind regards

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I am here!

Thank you for your sincerity. When you come to that fork in the road - to cave to your darker impulses, or to rise above them and take off for a higher purpose - well, that is a blessing. It’s very tough work to go to therapy. In fact, it takes courage to heal. Congratulations and thank you for encouraging others that there is hope.

This is a great question thankyou.. I have been dealing with Aspergers or now known as high functioning autism. Ive seen many of my past friends turn into narcissists. Thrir was a period of time, where I had some toxic traits but I got the therapy

I have empathy enough to tell when I am being lied to. Recently, something happened to me that has shaken my confidence. I have been friends with a guy for over 20 years. About 6 years ago, he said he would be my boyfriend. He repeated that statement just about a year ago, and this time, I responded. We began talking about some of he things we wanted to do, and sharing past experiences and family information. We worked together on a project that took 3 months to complete, and we worked well together. A after about 9 months, I felt comfortable with his intentions, and agreed to take it to the physical level. The world changed in an instant! I felt him closing me out. He was cold and aloof. Would that I could take it back. When I confronted him about where I stood in his life, he laughed at me. He was only interested in sex without any emotion. No kissing, hugging, cuddling, or hand holding. So instead of being girlfriend, I was relegated to friend with benefits, mistress, or whore. I know when he lies to me, even the little white lies, so why didn't I sense any deception in the prior months?

I am on the autism spectrum and although I’m not looking for relationship information, I happened to come across your blog and all I can say is WOW. Not only have you bizarrely made up your own definition of what empathy is, you’re so laughably pompous as to proclaim that you know without a shadow of a doubt that people on the spectrum don’t have it! I’m speechless. Literally speechless. Although you seem to pretend that you’re so altruistic, you definitely have an agenda against people with autism and the tone of your writing is disturbingly sinister. You have no business giving mental health advice to anyone, autistic or otherwise. It’s clear you’re just a bitter and angry narcissist yourself.

I am Accused of attacking my aspie and he said HE needs time to process questions before he can answer. So weird how many aspects of the angry blow-ups happen on my end at the end of a time of frustration. I’m now seen as totally unloving. He’s list trust for me since I can’t read his mind about what he wants and he refuses to tell me.

I can hear you well

I found it frustrating when Dr Andy would interrupt you in this video. Somewhat uncomfortable. But you were so unflappable...

Empathy is showing your availability towards someone with whom you share some type of relationship in such a way that it improves the relationship. Sympathy, on the other hand, is simply stating how you feel about something that had happened in someone else's life. Apathy is having no feeling, or concern, about something.

I am one

Kathy you have done a fabulous job creating this community and in sharing your knowledge. There is so much on your very rich website. It's astounding.