Hello dear friends! We haven't met on this channel for so long. I've been away here again for over two months. I'm so sorry, but sometimes it's so difficult to resist the hardships in life and life within yourself without falling. Unfortunately, I think almost everyone knows what I mean. I don’t want to complain about my life in any way, but the last few years have been the most difficult time for me mentally. Some kind of chaos is going on inside me. I rush between loss of hope and enormous fear, between powerlessness and a huge sense of guilt, between meaninglessness in everything and great responsibility. I understand that I’m very bad at adjusting these feelings, dispelling this chaos, but I’m banging my head like a sheep, trying to cope with this, myself... I hope the time will come soon when there will be peace within me. Knowing that I have here, on this channel, a place with great support, the path to peace and tranquility within myself, which I strive to get even a little closer to, seems less long and difficult.
Today's video was filmed on May 2nd, when my little princess would have turned 10 years old. In memory of my girl, for whom the longing does not subside. With my mind I understand that now she does not suffer , does not suffer from illness, but my heart is very sad. Heart yearns as if she left this world yesterday, but three years have already passed. As I said earlier, as long as I live, whether it makes sense or not... I will try to honor the memory of her and the day when she was born and gave special warmth to my heart, and not only mine....
The video has no description/subtitles or my thoughts, I don’t know why, but for some reason I didn’t want to write/tell anything there. We spent this day, as always, with our family. I did my best to make this day warm the hearts of all members of our family. For me, the easiest way to express my feelings is to write and draw. Unfortunately, I don’t know how to draw at all, just by imagining, I can only copy what I see. But lately, for some reason, I haven’t been able to either. So I ordered a painting by numbers. When I saw this photo on the Internet, it really reminded me of Hannah, how she would look at 10 years old, healthy and in this world... So I wanted to draw such a picture in honor of her, for her birthday. We all called Hannah Princess Belle from Beauty and the Beast. Now watching this cartoon is like a hug during the most difficult time. A cartoon that has now taken on a special meaning for us.
I thank every heart that keeps in itself the memory of my little princess Hanna!
Thank you for everything!
Until next time, here❤️‍🩹
🌸 Used music : bit.ly/2Ud48wX
📍Holland
📧lelisense@gmail.com